#ALSO THIRD? just realized i dont have a ranking omg

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

idk why a small part of the fandom thinks jinki isnt good at dancing when he's clearly pretty skilled n could be in dance lines of other groups taekey are just too insane n jinki stills keeps up with them like his sita challenge was so good n him struggling a lil at encore was just cause he hadn't danced for almost a whole year while the others were touring n had practiced the choreos for the entire tour 😭😭 yeah sure he did trip n mess up a lot in their earlier performances but he had just trained for a year n a half without any dance experience. he's literally the third best dancer in shinee imo.

i feel like there are choreos that fit him more than hard and dcm but like i think it's nice to watch him dance bcs he's kinda good at having a good form (?) like in prism his moves are sharp but it doesnt look like hes stiff just like in on the way & savior choreos! his footwork is kinda good too, hes one of the reasons i used to watch your number pv a lot lol

also the fact that he can hide mistakes well is also a good point, like he's so good to make it look natural that not everyone notices it. like sometimes they but still. if you watch juliette dance ver when they're wearing the wing necklaces you'll see that jk got a step wrong but you really need to zoom and watch it fr to notice it 🤓

and btw he got only hard wrong for what i remember ? and it wasn't the only choreo he had to learn too

[medicine-and-molly]

happy 1 year! to celebrate, here’s my (maybe unpopular idk) evermore ranking. everything listed here is just my personal opinion, dont take it to seriously.

foreward: some songs i cant rank because my opinion on them fluxuates too much- includes closure, evermore, and coney island.

now onto the ranking:

14. tis the damn season

im sorry i like the song but the instrumentation reallt isnt for me. the story is incredible but the lyrics just dont resonate with me.

13. cowboy like me

i dont like the melody on this one. cant explain it, theres nothing specifically wrong with it, but i just dont vibe with it. that being said, i still listen to it regularly, just less than the others.

12. willow

I used to like this song a lottttt but more recently its kinda dropped. i think i finally wore it out after listening to it on loop for like. literal days. its definitely a solid song that i still really enjoy though. the fact that its kinda low is mostly my fault lmaoo.

11. happiness

something about this song makes me cry, and out of all of taylor’s “sad” songs, this one is up there. i love it so much, but I cant listen to it if im not in the right mood, so it sometimes ends up getting skipped if im emotionally fragile or whatever.

10. champagne problems

now were getting to the problem i experience in every single album ranking i have of taylor swift’s, where there are farrr too many good songs. champagne problems is one of my favorite songs, but it took a while to grow on me. even now, its not at the top of my list, maybe because im still young and dont really relate to a lot of the singer’s experiences. music wise it slaps though

9. marjorie

i hated this song the first time i heard it. and the second time. and third and fourth and fifth and sixth. but eventually something just clicked and it gets stuck in my head at just the sound of the name. its such a good song omg idk how me from last december disliked it aaaaaaa

8. tolerate it

this was actually my number one song when evermore first released, and my love for it has not decreased. its so filled with pain and resentment and frustration, but theres so much sweet liberation in it that is so so so magical. the reason its dropped in ranking is not because my opinion on it changed, but rather because i finally stopped listening to it almost exclusively and gave other songs a chance and realized “oh shit this whole album is impeccable”.

7. Gold Rush

its just so catchy. like idk i love it theres something about it that just makes me go “oooaoaoaoaoa”. like idontlikeslowmotiondoublevisioninroseblush. fndmdndnd. it turns me into a gremlin of the best variety. (also this was the fav song of a guy i thought i liked who is now a good friend so theres a lot of nice memories attached).

6. no body, no crime

this is just. omg. i love this song. i cant like say anything about it other than “go listen to it right now”. its good. no one better disagree with me because i will cry.

5. long story short

now were getting to the ones that make me dance around my bedroom. long story short is a bop. plain and simple. good song. i have no analysis other than “wow this song is really good, top 5”.

4. its time to go

this song is so emotional and passionate, and a little existentially terrifying. but the poeticism involved is just sooooo unbelievable and the musicality is great and the lyrics and- i cant stop raving about. why are the bonus tracks always so good?

3. right where you left me

even though this is only at number three, this is my most listened to song of evermore. i have both apple music through my family and spotify, so i dont think rwylm showed up on my wrapped, but if you combined them it would probably make my top 5 most listened to songs. its incredible in its melody, lyrics, instrumentation, imagery, and every other aspect. not to mention how catchy it is, like goddamn!

2. ivy

speaking of goddamn! this is song is underappreciated everywhere, i feel like. (this may or not be true but it feels true, y’know?) The story it tells is a beautiful one, and the figurative language is multilayered and very complex. i love every moment of this song, and i absolutely cannot pick a favorite part.

And for number 1, i present: dorothea!

this took the number 1 slot fairly recently after doing a lot of climbing in the past year. it started our mid-tier for me, but the more i listened to it the more i loved it. now, it stands out as one of the cutest, most passionate songs on the album that i also feel gord underrecognized. congrats to taylor for making something so incredible!

so thats my list, obviously its just my opinion and very heavily influenced by my own experiences and taste. im curious to hear other opinions as well! happy birthday, evermore!

[twothousand4]

HIIIIII ROBECCA STEAM FOR THE AZK GAME PLEAAAAZE OMG EYE LUV HER

HI BASIL <333 i didnt realize there were only really 6 unique dolls of her ever released thats so sad?? she deserved better 😭 im gonna do a full ranking of all of them bc theres so few and i love her

ask game: send me a character, and I’ll tell you my favorite and least favorite doll of theirs

favorite: ok yeah this ones obvious this look was just SO good.. we had this one as a kid and we sprayed cotton candy perfume in her hair and the scent stayed there for YEARS. thats not relevant i just think abt it whenever i see her now. the boots are especially iconic

second and third favorites: art class is second!! this one was honestly really close to the original tbh, i love the suspenders and the hair and i just think the purple goes with her really well. coffin beans third bc i really like the hair and top, tho i think the shoes coulda been better and the skirt hems a bit weird (but i still rlly love her!!)

fourth and fifth favories: gore-geous accessories and dead tired, respectively! i think these are both solid but kinda plain. accessories throws me off by not having a lot of accessories, tho i like the hair, and im not big on the ruffles on dead tired, though i still think shes cute

least favorite: the robecca/hexiciah two pack.. i dont HATE her but i think the super metallic skin was a weird choice and it looks kinda really bad in some lighting. her outfit itself also just looks kinda cheap especially for a sdcc collectors doll? idk not a fan

[hazelenergy]

What happened that final night.

One year ago today was my last Elysium in Atlanta. And in a mere 48 hours, I will have betrayed and killed my adoptive sire, blood bonded myself to the wild sister of two famous Malkavians, and lost two people I loved. 

A few days prior to this night was the beginning of the end. A bloodhunt was called in Atlanta. Not for me. Not for the other thinbloods. A salubri had entered the city. Our adoptive sire, Mary Andrews and primogen of the Tremere (and the only Tremere in the city..I dont know actually why she was alone but I have theories) ordered her children, myself and my two shovelheaded broodmates to bring this man to her alive. We complied. At first. 

Solomon had been working closely with Reverend Clancy, the primogen of Clan Brujah. We never knew Solomon’s bloodline, but he vibed with the righteous and nonviolent nature of Clancy’s leadership. Clancy told us the other half of the history of clan Tremere and the Salubri. We were devastated. And now our adoptive sire wanted this man and would probably experiment on him like she did to us. And it would be worse. He can heal. He’d be able to endure what she did to us. So Clancy asked us, two lowly thinbloods, to help him and his clan free this man and get him out of the city. We said yes without questioning the consequences. 

Long story short we put our ability to blend with humans to the test at Airport security. We managed to slide through the TSA check with ease- without tipping off the inquisition either. Solomon and I had intercepted the international flight by getting the plane to dock in the incorrect port, allowing the Salubri to slip past the sheriff and his hired guards. Things didn’t go as well as we hoped- as the Sheriff caught on to someone was messing with the radio tower and hopped over to where we were hiding. We had already called the brujah boys to the airfield to intercede the sheriff’s men. A huge fire fight broke out. The brujah were losing so Solomon and I made a rash decision. We used far reach together and launched a fuel tank at the gun fight- fire engulfed the scene. Solomon and I fled into the night- starving, but unscathed. Cue camarilla media blackout and clean up. 

The next night we were ordered to return to the chantry. We refused and gave pitiful excuses saying things like keeping face by going to a night job or Solomon had a legit excuse of needing to write his Yom Kippur service. Instead we tracked down Clancy and the brujah and high tailed the Salubri out of Atlanta. Clancy handled the money for the dark flight and I wore less clothing to convince the guy to bypass security. Our Salubri was in the air and out of Atlanta. But the sheriff was on our trail. Someone had to take the blame. Clancy knew how hard we had worked. He was the only kindred who knew about the safehouse project. He took the fall for freeing the Salubri and let himself be staked by the sheriff as we fled unseen into the night. 

The following night, we did go to Mary’s Haven. She immediately shoveled us into the car and took us to Elysium. She knew we had something to do with this. Or just wanted to see us squirm. Regardless. Clancy had been placed on trial for his crimes against the Prince and the brujah were ready to Throw. Down. The air was tense and violent choleric resonances dominated the room. There is one brujah in particular, Jamal. He was basically an anarch. The only reason he wasn’t a Baron and fighting the Prince was because of his faith and trust in Clancy. He was nearly going to free Clancy then and there- if it wasn’t for Solomon. Sol begged him to let him play the political game first. Solomon  offered himself to the prince as the duskborn primogen. He advised the prince that Clancy’s life was the spindly thread that kept the brujah from rioting. Solomon ruled that Clancy should be exiled but allowed to live. The Prince agreed. The brujah and Jamal backed down- begrudgingly. Clancy was still staked and was to be driven out of the city once Solomon achieved a few goals as his new primogen. Mary was furious. Was it because her ex had arrived in the city and had gotten close to her other child? Oh that was a part of it- for sure. Somehow this night really did not go according to plan and the car ride home was AWKWARD. 

That night Mary tried to get me to drink from her again- which uhhh no. Idk what you all know about Tremere who follow Carna- but they can still blood bond. And that made her even angrier. She was willing to try anything to get either myself or Solomon to comply. We resisted. That’s when I figured out Mary had slipped on some control over us and wanted to reclaim it. So, I left the haven that night and went to get some sweet distractions at Atlanta’s Asylum chain. That’s when I decided to stop being careful and took that final drink- as a huge fuck you to Mary and to give myself the edge I wanted. I’d have the swirling madness and premonitions in my system for a while and could be thinking ahead of her. I didn’t realize how loopy I’d get. I felt higher than ever before and couldn’t keep my thoughts from spilling out of my mouth.  I stumbled back into the chantry and told my adoptive sire this:

“I reject your blood.”

and

“Any kindred that bothers with me is up to something. You. You chose me. YOURE Up to Something And I wont let it happen.”

She looked me in the eye and said, "tell the truth."

I babbled about everything. The page from the book of Nod and how I copied it. The alchemy I kept from her. The thaumaturgy I tried and made a mess. How she blood bonded Tommy. Letting the Salubri go. How I knew about her plan to usurp the Prince- the madness told me what she’d do. We argued until the sun came up. I went to bed, thinking that I’d have to continue the talk in the evening. I didn’t expect to find myself warded into my own room, windows loaded with explosives, security cameras installed, and my girlfriend Lisa trapped with me. Mary had called an emergency Elysium- excluding Solomon. They were planning our executions. I made it out, barely. Mary’s ghoul and Lisa were killed when one of the explosives went off. There was nothing left but her necklace. In a fit of grief, rage, sorrow I don’t know what emotions I was feeling but it was a lot of them. I obliterated the wards around Mary’s private lab and took whatever I could carry. 

We drove off, thinking we’d lay low for a few hours before Mary could use trail of prey on me. We could beg borrow and steal to get our things and get out. I had just parked the car when I vomited the first time. My blood began bubbling and boiling and oozing out of every open surface it could. I had three bullet holes in my stomach- the bullets were pushed out as my blood gushed. I spent the next fifteen minutes in agonizing pain as Mary called my phone. She heard every gag and wretch- and laughed. The ultimatum was to bring me before the Prince to be put out of my misery, and return what I stole. I told her to go fuck herself. Within seconds, my blood was boiling again and I was a mess on the sidewalk. 

The next few hours were agony waiting. I didn’t know if she’d do it again. But the clock was ticking. The Prince had ordered a hunt for us. And Mary’s ritual to dominate the Prince and the entire court was already ignited. We could have just fled right then. Fuck the Camarilla of Atlanta. Fuck everything about this place. Lets leave and never look back.... But Solomon still had too much to lose in Atlanta- and was willing to fight for it. And Cass had old wounds from Mary (they were an item at one point omg). And I wanted to go so badly- but what I wanted more was to see her vitae spilling out onto the floor as I drove my knife through her. So after cleaning myself from the third wave of dagons call and alleycat hunting for the first time- we took what little time we had left in the city to put an end to this. 

We used the first hour before sunset to gear up. I immediately drove out to the few spots to where thinbloods were hiding and told them to RUN. Find a new city or something- just get out. A few times they looked at me with power hungry eyes. It was a perfect opportunity to take a wanted kindred to the Prince and move up the ranks. I reminded them that they are not known by the prince. And to take me in was to also announce themselves- amidst a time when they are using thinbloods as scapegoats for anything gone wrong. And BOY. Is it going wrong. The last stop I made was to my alchemical dealer. I drained my bank account and bought some of the most powerful brews I’ve ever drank. As a parting gift, or grift if you ask me, he let me have his best brew: Potence.

Solomon went to free Clancy with a group of the brujah boys. A minor fire fight broke out. Solomon was a bit roughed up- both physically and spiritually. I think he had broken one of his own oaths and it was weighing heavily on him. 

When we met up at the edges of Mary’s Haven- we didn’t realize how quickly she had redone the wards. As one of the Brujah boys drove up the path it kept twisting and winding to steer us back to the front gate. Eventually I crawled into the drivers seat. Even though I wasn’t welcome anymore- I was the last one to drive this path and now armed with malkavian whispers. It wasn’t my best driving. Certainly creative. But I got us to the bottom of the hill and we could see the lights to the haven. Mary had laid tons of traps as we made our crawl up to the porch. Landmines specifically. Seriously, where the fuck did she get these? Were they always here? 

When we made it to the porch, the sheriff sat illuminated by the single flickering light. That certainly explains why it was so easy to bust Clancy out. Solomon took the diplomatic approach and tried to reason with the sheriff. I knew it wasn’t going to work and hovered one of the explosives over him. If anything happened to Solomon I’d-- two gunshots. Solomon clutched his chest and fell to the ground. There goes the second person I believed was actually good in this world. Thats when fresh vitae rained from above. Yeah, this is where I get frenzy bombs. The brujah boys immediately attack each other. Clancy and I keep our cool. 

I dropped the explosive and the sheriff flies back into the haven. I go to enter the door, and am met with Mary’s hell cat. Far reached the cat aside. I didn’t care. Nothing was going to stand between me and ending this. The sheriff, his skin singed and peeling, turned to me with frenzied eyes. Far reach again. He’ll never lay a hand on me again. I held him still as Cass drove the stake through his chest. We tossed him aside. 

Thats when we realized the basement was warded. It sent Cass flying back everytime she got close. Even Clancy couldn’t get closer than five feet to the doorway. So I pulled out that potence brew and drank it. I slammed my fist into the mahogany floorboards and crashed through two levels of the haven. I fell to my knees surrounded by rubble and looked up to see my adoptive sire performing her ritual- the circle nearly illuminated. “Mom, I’m home.”

When it came down to it, my hand shook and I couldn’t pull the trigger. At first I tried to far reach her out of her circle, but my hunger had gotten the best of me. So instead, Cass took my hand. She fired at my adoptive sire. The Tremere collapsed and fell to ash. I hadn’t seen someone suffer final death before. I stared at the wispy grey ashes fluttering around the room. Suddenly, the house began to crack and crumble. Clancy grabbed both me and Cass and leaped out of the rubble. When we got back to the ground level- the sheriff was gone. Jamal had taken all of him-the last drop. He told Clancy that Atlanta won’t be the same without him- but its going to change in a way he didn’t like. Clancy looked so disappointed. Without a word, He turned and picked up Solomon’s corpse. Sol was now warm. He was dying. He breathed his last breath in Clancy’s arms. The old brujah carried him to his family that night and they got to give him the proper funeral for his faith.

I told Jamal my dark secret and it’s why I couldn’t stay in Atlanta. He told me to get moving and come back when I’m zeroed. “I need a chameleon that can put on charm and take a punch like you.” I was still chased out of Atlanta by a few kindred who wanted that sweet sweet blood hunt boon- but Jamal used it to his advantage. He took them out as I sped away with Cass to Miami. I don’t know what the affairs of Atlanta are like- a mere year later. I know Jamal was going for the Prince since was now without a sheriff missing his two heavy hitting primogen. But regardless of who is in charge- the duskborn trio perished in that haven that night. And we keep it that way.

~HB

_____

Here Jackie, this is the sob story. @ventrue-in-control​

[rqs902]

qcyn ep 10 aka an episode that really made me happy!! but also really made me miss season 1..........

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WU CHENGZE AND CHEN SIJIAN AND XU FANGZHOU OMGOMGOMG IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG THAT BOTTOM ROW AHHHH I WAS SO SURE THAT CHENGZE WASNT GONNA MAKE IT BUT OMGOMOGMOG YESSS AND THANK GOODNESS SIJIAN OMGGGG YESSSHSHSHS AHHHHHH 

phew thank goodness lin mo made it tho, now i feel like there’s not much left for me to do cept wait for this show to end bc im pretty sure thats as far as he’ll get, and im so so relieved he made it to the top 20 thats all i was asking for, i just wanted him to be able to participate in every stage. so now im just excited for when he gets out what mr tyger will do!

man iqiyi really skipping even 14-19 man..... 

wowowowow long lost xixi spirit of the knght footage that we never got to see T__T

LOOOOL LONGHAN THE POOR CHILD HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HIS INTERACTIONS WITH YIXING ARE GOLD

awwwww huaiwei’s feeble “are yall not gonna clap” was so sad... but also i was kinda expecting his fall with the 2 vote restriction bc huaiwei is hilariously fun and everyone likes him, but hes not as much bias material.... lol shi zhan awkwardly stuck between two crying people lol

HAHAHAHHA CHEN SIJIAN ‘why cant we just talk to each other’s face to face’ HAHHAHAHA I LOVE HIM 一點都不說唱 HAHAHHAAH

lol zhenning exposing shi mingze is the content im here for! mingming is the cutest bub omg 

LOL WTF IS THIS THIS EDITING IS SO EXTRA HAAHAH

wow a rare zhan yu teardrop mole sighting!!

lol how much u wanna bet it was rigged that the first one was for wenhan from yangyang

aw huaiwei and yueyue....... ok but is he really telling them that they shouldnt go to the hospital if they get third degree burns?? bc as a future healthcare professional im gonna to strongly disagree on that one........ please take care of yourselves and your health first.........

HAHAHHAA I LOVE XIXI AND JUNJIE’S FRIENDSHIP HAHAHAH the fact that sijian was like “lol its junjie” as soon as xixi got called out ....oh my goodness this is the sweetest thing oh my goodness 

aw zhenning being so caring towards wang zhe.... but luckily wang zhe did really well in maze :) 

i hope we get to see more of these letters in the extra clips.... im waiting for jia yi’s letter to lin mo ;_; i see that mr tyger group hug ahhh also was that lin mo that wenxuan was hugging at the end bc their friendship is really aw too

OH MY GOODNESS IS THAT SUN ZELIN IN A CF/?!?!?!! OMGGGGG MY CHILDDD HAHAHHAHAH OMGGGGG YESSSSS CHEN SIJIAN TOO!!!! WOWWOWOOW AMAZING!!

aw junjie looking for happy for his friends even tho he likely wont make it this round.....

aw shi mingze and zhenning aww look at zhenning rising to the top, he really became people’s one pick after retreat huh hahaha 

man this might sound kinda mean (im really not trying to be) but what are the chances jia yi will keep falling and fall out of top 9 so mr tyger can continue as 5.... LOL im sorry i love the child but tbh i dont think being in top 9 will be worth his time as much as being reunited with his favorite geges......

aw poor mingming so nervous.... reminds me of quanzhe from last season that one time iqiyi kept panning to him during elims....

i wonder why there’s a bunch of them missing from the special class / the charity activity this time..... are they all in the hospital again???? like lin mo, jia yi, wenhan.... would zhan yu be with them to watch over lin mo and jia yi? 

lol why does bo yuan know the maze choreo, did he learn it in like 30 seconds?? gu landi with his saxophone!!!!!!!!!!!

ok can we pls talk about how ymm is in such disbelief that he went up so much?? i really hope this helps him gain more confidence....... AND OMG HIS SMILEEE 

omg chen youwei bringing up yi xiao.... aw this just makes me think of when youwei kept chanting jin fan’s name during the first elims.... and now wang yi and li yuzhi are left watching from below..... omgosh wu chengze is crying so hard.... do you think its bc his bff sun zelin ranked beside him last time but this time..... he’s not gonna be able to continue with him? (omg im just thinking about how sun zelin talked about chengze high-fiving him and going out of his way to wish him good night every night before bed... their friendship is...... so important......) honestly im gonna miss sun zelin and his silly humor and his adorable personality... he recognized he wasnt as skilled but he still tried really hard and dreamed big and im proud of how far he made it! 

wait i have a question, if ymm has this many solo stans then who else were they voting for with their second vote if not wen yechen??? MINGMING’S SMILE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS OH MY GOODNESS omg cutting to a crying shi mingze their friendship is so important MINGMING YOU DESERVE THIS 

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA YAO MINGMING KEEPING IT REAL HAHAHHAHAHAA SO REAL IM CRYING HAHAHAHAHAHA BO YUAN’S FACE HAHAHA AND THEN YIXING HAHAHHA

wow waiting for them to announce who ranked #1 is just as suspenseful as it was on “all for one” -- aka not suspenseful at all........... ITS WENHAN OK WE GET IT NO ONE THINKS ITS GUAN YUE IM SORRY

lol i just looked up bo yuan’s birthday and hes like 9 months older than lin mo but now that hes eliminated does this make lin mo the oldest trainee on the show..... 

omgosh im gonna miss the sound of feng junjie’s voice screaming

omgosh zhan yu helping lin mo lift his box out aw!! aw zhan yu and jia yi working together.... aww them all working together

aw zhenning and shi zhan friendship!!!! LOL THIS IS SO CRINGE HAHAHHAHAHA wow i just realized the S symbol reminds me of a sadder looking yoyo class symbol from “all for one” lolololl 

ooo at least we’ll get another junjie ep of YAA!!!! and sun zelin too!!! SHI MINGZE YOYO POWERS/??!!? omg reminds me of bi wenjun ;_; i miss our yoyo prince ;_; omg they reused the puffy suits from last season LOOOLLLL wait but im sorry xixi i cant look at that colorful one without thinking of lou zibo ahhhhhhhhh I MISS ZIBO TOO and qian zhenghao in the tiny alien one omg that was such a iconic moment!!!!! and qin fen in the overblown monster one ahhhh I MISS SEASON ONE IM SORRY I FEEL LIKE ITS LATE ENOUGH IN THIS SEASON THAT I CAN SAY THIS WITHOUT FEELING LIKE IM BEING BIASED BUT SEASON ONE WAS BETTER ---- but i still love many of the kids from this season, its not their fault this season has just been generally more frustrating and less focused on all of their friendships. but season one just seemed generally more enjoyable, fun and lighthearted, yet emotional in a positive manner

LOL theyre all so obviously reading off a script this is pretty funny WHY IS HANYU SO CREEPY HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA 

FENG JUNJIE 28 NOOOOO ahhh i thought shi mingze would make it too........ man wang yi 38?? i thought he’d be higher.... man chen sijian’s literally the only rap line trainee left wtf............ wow wang jiayi really dropped so much throughout this show.... 

wait i wanna hear the full version of shi mingze’s speech, i feel like he mightve said more about his friendship with mingming... i guess now that i think about it, mingze having ranked rather high last time was rather impressive considering iqiyi hasnt given him much time to shine......

ooof ok im kinda hoping 20 will be gu landi or shao haofan bc their vocals really would’ve earned it. omgosh gu landi asking chen tao if he can sit next to him ahhhh so cute

im yao chi praying for gu landi... but i feel like its gonna be chen tao bc freaking wenhan’s “gwi ze” LOL

yep

not surprised

man the audience be sleeping on gu landi’s talent..... 

omg this is my new favorite friendship omg gu landi is so supportive towards yao chi im crying.... 

lol they keep saying the top 9 is 換血 but literally i feel like the only new person is zhenning...???? 

OH MYGGODNESS DID THEY JSUST CALL FENG JUNJIE IM SSHAKINGN!!! MASD;ALSKD;LAKSD;LK;LS;AKLDK YEASSSSSSSS!!!!!SKJSALDKJSALKYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THANK YOU THANK YOU THAKN YOU OH MY GOODNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IM SO PSODKALSKDJLAKJDSLK DSALKJSALASD IM IN DISBELIEFASLDKJALK IM LITERALLY CRYING SO HARDR IGHT NWOWWWW AHHHH OMGOMOGMG THIS IS THE BEST NEWS IVE HEARD ALL DAY OMGGGJGGGGGAHHHHHHHHH THNAK GOODNESS AHHHHHHH LAKJSDLAKSDLKL HE CAN STAY WITH XIXI TILL THE END THANK GOODNESS OH MY GOODNESS IM SHAKINGG 

hahhahahahhaha fjj: i didnt imagine i would be picked by the old men... yixing: i can tell :)  LOOOOL JUNJIE YOUR FACEE HHAHHAHAHAHA

wow today is a such good day wow feng junjie made it wow im so grateful wow this is a great day wow life is great isnt it 

ahhh im wu chengze chanting wu zelin sun zelin wu zelin sun zelin 

aw lin mo and wenxuan are really so close....

just dont say wenhan LOL

lol the old men really like zhou shiyuan so im not surprised... he does deserve it tho!

oo good for haofan! 

honestly they prob made sure the old men didnt pick yechen, zhan yu or bo yuan again... sadly..... but also sad they didnt notice gu landi....... omgosh look at zhan yu pumping his fists in the air even tho he knows its over... this is his “pretending to be mature gege” side, trying to appear positive for his bros... i wanna see lin mo and jia yi’s full thank you speeches and see if they mention his again T_T

WANG JIAYI TELLING HUAIWEI ITS OK TO NOT BE STRONG IS SO IMPORTANT. ahhh hes really a caring friend

oh gosh seeing the top 20 choosing their final songs makes me think back to last season and im getting freaking mack daddy flashbacks and im shuddering in fear LOL “ITS OKAY” WAS AND STILL IS THE SUPERIOR SONG IM SORRY ITS JUST A FACT

LOL THEY TEXT THEM!??! on the bright side, this just reminded me that top 35 will still get to be in ep 11 so yayyy we get another zhan yu stage!!!!!!

lol this earth ad is even more cringey.................. the ending credits.... i see lin yuzhi! and xixi got a cool shot :D im surprised lin mo didnt get any shots haha and that they didnt show mr tyger at all during the hugging portion at the end but oh well i guess..... 

tbh this was a minimal lin mo exposure ep but its ok, im still grateful that he got a few random closeups (which is more than i can say for some of the others) and now that hes safely in top 20 i honestly think my work here is done LOL. there’s not much more lin mo fans can do for him. theyve gotten him onto all the stages and i dont think any amount of work will get him into top 9... and ive said before i dont even really want him in top 9 bc id rather he stay with mr tyger and help them stay relevant bc theyll need his help to do so, especially since jia yi will probably make top 9. 

(from here is where i go into a rant about season 1 vs season 2.... LOL)

lets be honest, ranking 16 is too low for lin mo to make it lol....... last season the only kid who made top 9 who wasnt already in top 9 by ep 10 was yanjun... and yanjun had been on a steep upward trend leading up to the last ep (lin mo went from 17 to 16... theres minimal momentum there lol) and then bi wenjun going from 12 to 10 was the other surprise. xikan going from 18 to 13 was impressive, but he still wasnt one of the contenders for the 9th spot. i think at the end it was bu fan, qian zhenghao, bi wenjun and you zhangjing right? out of those 4, the lowest ranked in ep 10 was bi wenjun at 12..... so going from 16 up to 9 would be really really unlikely, unless lin mo somehow makes an even greater impression on the audience during the mentor collab stage than yanjun did last year.... which i think will be impossible bc literally the entire audience fell in love with yanjun during the “zero” performance in last season’s ep 11 lol it was crazyyyy.... but anyway i think ive reminisced about last season enough this rant.... can you tell i really miss it? honestly ive tried to stay as positive as i could throughout watching qcyn and i gave iqiyi the benefit of the doubt from the beginning that “oh maybe it just doesnt seem as great as the first season bc we havent gotten to know the kids yet, the show’s just started, we’ll learn to love it later” ---- but we’re on ep 10 now and i just.......... i still dont think i got to know the kids as well as i did last season and its not their fault, theyre not any less lovable kids (some of them i really like!!! more than some of the kids from last season!) but this season’s editing is really just disappointing. i really miss last season and it was honestly so much more enjoyable to watch..... i thought about this the other day, if lin mo had been eliminated during the last round, would i still be watching this show? and i thought about it and i honestly think i would... because i really like some of the other kids like mingming, junjie, xixi, jia yi, guan yue, chen sijian, etc. but i really dont think id be as eager to stay up to date with it. ive fallen behind on yaa and dont even look forward to watching fanafan anymore bc lin mo hasnt been on any of those (no, i dont count the yaa ep he literally only got 1 second of screentime in) these side shows are fun, but not as fun as fanafan from last season. they feature the same kids over and over again (literally yuehua trio was the ONLY kids on fanafan 2 weeks ago and then they were 1/3 of the ep last week too??? and hmm how come there are kids who have been on yaa multiple times yet there are also kids who have never been on it at all???? that’s just so unfair.....) without fanafan from last season, would you zhangjing have made it into top 9?? fanafan was the medium thru which he really showed us how hilarious and fun and lovable and sweet and sassy he was (whereas on the actual show he showed us his true, undeniable talent) and im just here wondering, if qcyn’s fanafan had featured ye ziming half as much as they had featured you zhangjing or his partner in crime yanjun (who both ended up making top 9), would he have at least made top 35? or how about chen sijian and wu zelin? or feng junjie?? or su yuhang?? where would they be now? why hasnt lin mo been on fanafan at all??? if given the chance, would people actually be appreciating zhan yu’s hilariously weird and crazy personality that we NEVER got to see?? sigh.......... 

OKAY WHERE ARE ALL THE EXTRA CLIPS IMMA FIND YALL

[oswednesday]

dream journal for june 21-22nd 2018

i dreamed like it was a post apoco situation where heaven and hell had like that Last battle while we were having a third world war and hell won and they had like hard reset the timeline or something where hell was just in charge and i was a student in a school and it was lunch time and you had to give up basically a whole weeks worth of food tickets to get a single decentish meal and most people did that

 i had an in with the cafe workers to score more bread and while i was in this back like open to the public area me and a like temporary sibling? fellow student (i was like being family hosted by a neofuture islamic family) we saw soliders on the street and one was a human who had survived the wars and his body had been warped by the hell energy and outside was just indie lighting from the early 00s washed out and bright and sunbaked

 he took off his mask to show us his fucked up face and told us secrets about the reality of the world we live in as a full demon soilder decended from the sky and grabbed him and seeing the full demon up close put me into a shock? like i woke up in this big nice bed in like the nicest part of the hospital wing in the school complex? like my host family was there and then like the highest ranking woman of the school came to see me with all her spouces and i greeted them all and like in this world like the second, third, fourth, ect spouce had specific greetings to do and one of them was impressed that i even knew these given that im not from around here Wink and my host family was uncomfortable with this like muslims in this timeline had a totally different sort of history about marriage (but the women was also being super sexual charged and there were Kids? in the room) and she made an off hand comment about like you know in A past polygamy was practiced in islam and my host mom was like well its not practised now, like i got the feel from the interaction that polygam was the norm for the world i was in and then everyone cleared out

 i eventually met the headmaster dean guy? and i had gotten better and i was back in class (i remember this bit not as well) and by this point in my dream the dude was basically black hat and i was in class and we were learning something like Actual that i wish i could remember there was an actual class happening in my dream and something was happening outside like a BOMB? or something and we were in like after classes activity period and i was excused to go do stuff outside the class room and black hat basically guy joined me as we were going to grab food from the caf that was like heavily gaurded (there were three others with us like the crew from the show but they looked totally different) and he got bounced by this massive girl like a giant kid like ten feet at least tall and i like, got in through cause i knew all the lunch room based secrets at least and before we did i kissed his forehead because he was? sick feeling sick? and i wanted to see his temp and he was all like !!!???? !!!!! push me away and his face was like!! really warm and i was like what up youre not doing well lets get some soup 

 the others went in, in front of us and it turned out the lunchroom was going to be closed For A While and this was legit the only source of food even for the school staff so we were loading up and i was in The Know the In i left it to the other staff im p sure to get the food while the headmaster looking black hat guy turned into a tiny sphinx cat and started to puke up on top of those fold out chests where they keep the frozen ice cream stuff and i was like oh wow youre really sick hey buddy its okay like petting his wrinkly sphinix body while he puked? like i was being nice to him and it was making him like super sick and we got the food 

the others were ahead of us and i used like, an aquired superpower???? to get on ahead of them just like clipped through the fabric of space time and was all like sup have our food and the guy was still a cat like i was holding him in my arms while we grabbed the food and we slipped into a class room that was watching a movie on a huge project that wasnt the one he taught like the teacher in there was flaberghasted but he was like all humanoid again and higher ranking so she wasnt going to say anything and then we started to eat (and i realize like after this dream that like hghgfj we were in a classroom full of likely starving children just eating omg) and the others had gotten me tons of food but the headmaster guy like NOTHING edfgthjk and he was like I Literally Cannot Believe Them and i was all like hey its okay we can share!! and he was all like you dont have to do that youd do that for me??? and then he knew like meta dream that i liked him geninuely and then as we were eating the dream switched

and it was like a different setting like a family of three where one of the family members had died like it was the death aniversary and the youngest child was being chased by these people and a friend of the family had grabbed her and the oldest remaining child was watching and like relieved his friend was there and then he got into this beat em up military green van and drove away and from his dream point of view she was tied up to a checkered board wall and there were knives being thrown at her and they were asking him like the secrets of the demons and he had given them something but wasnt going to tell them everything and then he put one of the pairs gun to his head and he was like something like "The sun will rise in a few moments" and shot himself with like mind powers to pull the trigger in someone elses hand and then it was like a clip cut to the news reporting on the murders on the anniversary of the other murders then i was sitting in the bleechers with a guy with a military from earlier part of my dream that had got me all fucked up wearing a mask and i had made a comment and he was like gasp there is an anonimally detected theres altering timeline stuff in your brain and i was like Anime Heh a little late for that and he was taking off his gas mask and there was a bunch of these dark tendrills like he was pulling his literal face off and that was the skin and stuff and then i woke up

this made me remember my other dream (that i had before the school in the demon world setting where i was selling stuff like a farmers market in a big yard but it was illegal or something? so another group let us all get into their van to make a get away

it was like this big party van and i had left stuff behind but the family we were with wouldnt let me go get it, and then we were like in their house? the family had two parents and kids  and my mom and my brothers were there and each family member had these big rooms i felt sure i wasnt suppose to go into and there was this arcade, i saw my mom doing laundry and i felt like i had to sneak around like we werent allowed to leave but also not touch anything, the house went down into the ground and had a lot of exposed wood features a little like the one house my mom had us live in with one of her mega abusive exes

[x-starlight-x]

Today Is Pretty Damn Great (3/7/17,8:26 pm)

Dang,today is really great.I mean in the beginning,I was kinda pissed since my friends kept messing with me.As the day went along,however,things were still pretty sour.XD.I think I completely forgot what happened.Well,I’ll try and remember later.Anyway,I think what made me happy was badminton.Yeah definitely,it gives me a reason to try harder which I love because its the best version of myself.How I am now is the best version of myself.It’s when I have goals and priorities to take care of and accomplish.That is who I am.But I am never her.I should probably join more sports so I can be like this more often.Maybe tennis?I don’t know.Maybe I should focus on clubs too.Yeah I really should,this can give me something else that is my own that I can focus on.I heard there was a songsmith club on school…and photgraphy. There’s also an anime club but I’m not as into it as I was and I haven’t been watching anime that much anymore.Plus my friends think it’s weird (not anime,the club itself) and cringey so idk.If there’s an astronomy club..I would love that oml I wish there would be.I could make it happen but idk if people would be interested if it doesnt exist already.Oh sorry I’m rambling.So in general,we won the game.Hell yeah!!I lost my exhibition doubles match though so that definitely something to improve on..shit really its the only thing.My match was still better than the game last time but then again the team we were facing this time was easy to beat,according to the others.My score was 5-21 and then 8-21.It’s still not that good but its an improvement.My problem (I think) is that 1)I’m not ready.I have to get used to expecting the unexpected and playing with different people is hard because I have to figure out how they play and it changes every fucking time and I have to watch from outside view to understand but its harder in game.2)I have two different partners.Its a good thing because its a learning experience and I’ve learned different ways to see things and whatnot.Its a lot to take in and/or remember.3)My coach switches the exhibition ranking up really weird.So for example,last game I was second to last on the list and I played the second to last doubles team from the opposing side.This time,it’s been switched so I played second.It’s kind of unfair because I’m not always properly ranked up with who I may actually get a shot at beating.On the other hand,playing with the harder teams gives me a chance to improve and work my way up to their level (or better) so the “easier” teams will be taken down easily.So much to consider oml.Okai i got this.Oh I think I’m remembering things that are important from today.Like how HE kept messing with me which is basically his job.Okay so in PE we just walk around our track (really just an oval of rocks that surrounds our nonexistent wannabe football field) and I was with my friend and we were talking and listening to music.Him and our group of friends were behind us.So he sneaks up behind me and pokes both of my sides simultaneously and I get freaked out and scream which is obviously hilarious to all of us so we burst out laughing.Mostly me and him.And I think he does this again..and I dont know about a third time but I dont think he did.And before I left for the game..idk its just the way he is with me feels different than how he is with his girlfriend.Maybe I’m exaggerating idk.Well I guess its cause (this is from observation) he’s in a relationship which I think he takes too seriously.With me,its laughs and smiles and sometimes we talk serious about things but it usually doesn’t sound right since in that regard we don’t see things eye to eye and I don’t care about keeping the conversation alive.It’s mostly him that does the talking anyway.So yeah that’s why I keep thinking that he’s not happy even though he says he is.Anyway I think that’s it.OO ALSO (this was before i left) he noticed a tic tac toe game on my hand (dont ask) which is usually his thing that he does to me.But this time my friend did it and he got all territorial (i think he's just joking) it was cute.AND UHM..this made me smile but when i left that class to go to the bus for the game,everyone was saying bye and wishing me luck which was really sweet because people dont band together to cheer me on.So heck yeah that made me feel special.I really need to start using my planner.That sounds really helpful and I have one but dont use it.Whelp these are things to focus on.OOO I REMEMBER.The school we played against today had one of my old friends in it.So met again after 4 years.It feels really good seeing someone after so long that you actually connect with.It’s great like I was walking up the stairs and then I saw her and immediately recognized her and I was like OMG! and I hugged her.She,on the receiving end,was so confused and me realizing it I let go and let her see me so shecan remember.In a few seconds she did and we were both like OMG! and how are you?And YOU’RE IN THIS SCHOOL?And YOU PLAY BADMINTON??So hell yeah I was supposed to be playing practice with someone but I got so caught up in it that I forgot.So we caught up and yeah we’re still talking.It feels really great.I wish I can tell HIM these things but I don’t think I trust him with this.Not like he’s gonna care so oh well.Let’s see how things work out tomorrow.