#ALSO SORRY FOR THE TONE SHIFT BTW the original text post was supposed to be a joke but then i start actually ranting in the tags
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do you think if i went to college id have the opportunity to hang out with friends and kiss cute boys. is this where im gonna need to find the motivation to go to college
#everytime i go to therapy its always the same thing my therapist just talks about how i need to stop mopping and doing nothing#and go to college and do something with my life. its what my friends and my parents say too and what i know i should do#but my response is always ''i dont know'' and i dont make any plans or do anything#i dont know. i have nothing im interested in enough to study. nothing i want to go to college for. nothing id like to work with forever#i cant get the energy to leave my bed and i cant imagine getting the energy to study hard for several years and then work hard forever#with how i feel right now i cant imagine myself having the energy or the strength or the motivation or the focus to do anything like that#all i spend my time hoping for is just the general idea of feeling better. i want to make friends i want to hang out#i want to date i want to transition i want to play videogames i want to live by myself and not have to worry about money or about my parents#but i imagine these distant things refusing to admit that to achieve them i need to do these impossible things first#so i come back to having to think of college. and im stuck again#blehhh#ALSO SORRY FOR THE TONE SHIFT BTW the original text post was supposed to be a joke but then i start actually ranting in the tags
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