#ALSO I do not actually know if pipes were super common in the 80s. I did zero research on any part of this. just go with it shhh

[laundrybiscuits]

(FINE I guess this is a series now. whatever.)

“He’s where,” says Steve. 

“Off to see the wizard, my dude.” Argyle passes him a pipe. Steve’s not really sure where it came from or when Argyle packed it, but he’s got manners, so he takes a hit and hands it off to Jonathan. 

“Murray,” elaborates Jonathan, on an exhale. “The…you know. Oh wow, I guess you’ve never met Murray either. That’s weird, right? I mean, you were there, you were just…”

“Babysitting, probably,” says Steve. “Wait, why is Eddie meeting this guy?”

Argyle gestures in a big loopy way. It reminds Steve a little bit of how Eddie waves his arms around. “Eddie’s on, like, a spiritual journey. A dream quest, but…real life. The realest.”

“Not spiritual like church,” adds Jonathan. “Like, gay spirit. Is that a thing? Shit, why doesn’t anyone know Murray.”

“I don’t know Murray either, man,” says Argyle. 

“Is…Murray a real person?” Steve asks. He doesn’t think it’s an unreasonable question.

“Yes! Jesus. He’s real, okay? Nancy knows Murray, we—yeah. Nancy knows him.” Jonathan looks kind of dour and depressed, but he always sort of looks like that. 

“How’s Nancy doing?” Steve doesn’t really want to know, but it seems like the polite thing to say. 

“We’re fine,” says Jonathan. 

“Okay,” says Steve, who hadn’t asked that at all.

“Everything’s fine,” Jonathan repeats. Argyle reaches over to pat Jonathan on the head, then takes the pipe from Jonathan’s hand. 

———

“Hm,” says Murray. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking behind all the facial hair and glasses. “Okay, I don’t usually do this, but…what the hell. Kiddo, you are way too young to be talking like that. Your life’s not over, and if you’re smart about it, it doesn’t have to be over any time soon.”

Murray sits back on the couch, kicking up his feet. There’s a hole in his left sock.

“You think happily ever after only looks like one thing? That’s the thought of a child. If you really want, you can make some kind of picket fence life for yourself, suburbs and all. But you’re a queer, so that means you don’t have to do that shit because nobody’s expecting you to anymore. You get to decide what matters to you.”

“I don’t know any way to be gay that’s not lonely as hell,” Eddie says. 

“That’s because you’re an idiot and an infant,” says Murray gently. 

“You don’t have a—a boyfriend.” It comes out a little too sharp and mean, but Eddie’s feeling cornered. 

Murray laughs. “Kid, what did I just say? I don’t want a damn boyfriend. Some guy coming over here all the time, eating my food? Hell no. We’re degenerate homos, we get to decide what to keep and what to shove down the god damn garbage disposal. I got some arrangements in place, and that’s the way I like it. The whole lovey-dovey romance shit isn’t for me.”

Eddie draws his legs up, wrapping his arms around his shins. His boots are probably leaving marks on the couch, but Murray can deal. “I think it…I think that is for me. I want that to be for me. Um. In general.”

Murray actually tilts his head down to give Eddie a scathing look over the top of his glasses. “No shit, Joan Jett. Your whole ooh please push past my defenses to prove you love me schtick is visible from space.”

“Fuck,” says Eddie, knocking his head against his knees. He closes his eyes, humiliated beyond words, feeling scooped-out and awful. 

“C’mon, it’s not that bad.” Eddie feels a tap on his arm, and when he looks up, Murray’s holding out a glass with about an inch of amber liquid in it. “We all go through something like that. It’s a rite of passage, just like it is to get so wasted you throw up on the stranger you dragged into a club bathroom. You’ll do that too. You’re gonna be messy and embarrassing anyway, so just enjoy the ride. And take the damn Talisker, it’ll help.”

Eddie takes the damn Talisker and knocks it back in one go, just to be an ass. Murray rolls his eyes but pours him another one.

“Ah, practical shit…” Murray scratches at his beard thoughtfully. “Been a while since I had to do this. Poppers are great, don’t overdo ‘em. Splurge on the fancy medical lube if you want but Vaseline or Crisco’ll do the trick just fine. And listen up, kitten, because you can ignore everything else that comes outta my mouth, but you can’t ignore this: always wrap it up. I mean always. I don’t care if he’s your soulmate, I don’t care if it kills the mood, I don’t care if he says he’s a blushing goddamn virgin. If he doesn’t want to wear a rubber, he doesn’t care if you live or die.”

Murray looks down at his own glass. For the first time, Eddie thinks he looks—tired. 

“I know there’s probably a big part of you that doesn’t care if you live or die, either. But you gotta remember there’s people who do. The kid who sent you to me. He doesn’t want to go to your funeral.”

“Yeah,” Eddie says. It comes out too quiet; he swallows and tries again. “Yeah. I know. I’ve—been to funerals too.” 

Murray barks out a surprised laugh. “God, you have, haven’t you? Think I was almost thirty, my first time. I’m sorry, Joan Jett, this isn’t a great time to be young and gay. Go make friends with some dykes, they’ll keep you sane.” 

Eddie, who has held Robin’s hair back as she ralphed into a bucket after losing a Peeps-eating competition with Steve, has his doubts, but he just nods.

Murray looks at him for a moment, then takes his face between two big hands and kisses him on the forehead. It feels neither sexual nor familial, but something beyond all of the easy categories Eddie’s known. 

“Now piss off,” Murray says. “Don’t get some crazy idea that this means we’re friends, or that you can start coming around whenever you feel like it.”

“So, just Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Sunday,” says Eddie, and ducks out before Murray can start cussing at him.

———

See, Eddie’s little crush on Steve is meant to be purely recreational. It’s fun to crush on unavailable guys he knows—way more fun than celebrities or whatever. It’s just nice, to feel his heart speed up a little when Steve’s around, safe in the certain knowledge that he’s never going to do a damn thing about it. It even feels good to hurt a little bit over it, achy and sharp, like pushing on a bruise. 

Yeah, Eddie knows he’s a little fucked up. But he figures this is harmless enough: a secret little vice that nobody’s ever going to know about.

Apparently, everybody knows. 

“Um,” says Jonathan, wide-eyed. “Was it…supposed to be a secret?”

“Yes,” hisses Eddie. “Because this is Hawkins, Indiana, and I don’t want to fucking die. Did we or did we not just have a conversation about the many and various perils this whole thing entails.”

“My dude, if you don’t want it to be, like, public knowledge, maybe don’t flirt with him so much?” 

“Betrayal!” Eddie gasps, staggering around like he’s been stabbed in the back, because he fucking has. “An unjust hit by Argyle the Assassin.”

“Argyle the Assistant,” says Argyle. “I’m assisting you, bro.”

“I don’t flirt with Steve!” Eddie screeches. “We’re friends! I flirt with you two dickwads more than I do with Steve, because I don’t flirt with Steve!” 

“You really do,” says Jonathan apologetically. “Kind of…a lot. Remember when we were out by the quarry, and you kept calling him princess.”

“As a joke!”

“Ohhh yeah,” says Argyle. “That was the day you, like…took his jacket, right?”

“I was cold!”

Jonathan grins. “Is that why you kept asking him how it looked on you?”

“As…a joke,” says Eddie, weakly. He’s starting to remember that it might’ve been even worse; the words do I look pretty in your clothes, Stevie may or may not have been uttered. 

“Hey, man, it’s no biggie. That was a million years ago and he didn’t say anything, so you’re free and clear. Totally righteous.” Argyle throws an arm around Eddie, who curls into him sulkily. Argyle’s tall and solid and kinda hot, so it’s a real shame Eddie can’t crush on him instead. 

Eddie sighs. “If Jonathan weren’t here, I’d ask you to make out with me until I felt better,” he says. 

“What,” says Jonathan. “You can’t—I mean, you can, and I, uh—support you? Should I leave?”

“Aw,” says Argyle, and ruffles Eddie’s hair. “That’s sweet, dude. If Jonathan weren’t here, I would.”

“What is happening,” says Jonathan. “I’m gonna—should I leave? I’m gonna leave.”

Eddie whines, “No, c’mon, stay, we’ll do that seance. That’ll make me feel better too. Maybe we can resurrect my deceased heterosexuality.” 

They don’t manage to raise any ghosts or any heterosexualities, but it does make Eddie feel a little better anyway.

[manychocolatefactories]

CatCF Dark Chocolate: Part 2, the tour

Willy Wonka and his factory:

For the Factory in this version, I wanted to give a feeling of the factories of the 19th century. Something between a place where a mad scientist would work and a steampunk fantasy. Willy Wonka himself is based on Jules Vernes.

Willy Wonka himself is a man with an "impressive beard", a solemn but kind air on his face, and an overall feeling of knowledge and wisdom. Wearing a thick and tight jacket, a black top hat and a dark green coat, his appearance actually gives mixed signals: his short hair is fluffy and shaggy, like a man of free spirit, of amusement and not much care, but his beard and mustache are neatly trimmed and cut, like any serious and respectable man. His hair is brown, chocolate-colored, but with touches of white and gray here and there. His eyes are kind and twinkling, but his mouth is a harsh thin line. He is the kind of man that will say the most extravagant things perfectly seriously, but treat serious and common business as a joke. Don't think however that is an extravagant or funny man. Again, he rather gives the feeling of a kind mad scientist.

As for the Factory itself, actually the locals, the people of the town over which the Factory looms, dislike it. Sure, the Factory is admired by people wordlwide - tourists come to see it, painters come to paint it, it is a landmark admired in foreign countries. But the locals do not like it at all. It is a tall, dark, cold and stern building, with no color of beauty, only locked doors, metallic fences, thick walls and high chimneys. The Factory does not employ anyone of the town, in fact no one ever saw the Factory workers arrive or leave. Wonka himself has never left his factory for decades now. Couple that with strange white silhouettes seen at the windows, and the ramblings of the local homeless man who apparently hates the Factory and keeps insulting it, and quickly a bad reputation was built for it. Adults believe Wonka is trying to hide a shameful secret, the kids tell tales of "the haunted chocolate factory"...

In fact, I wanted an air of creepiness for the Factory. I took back the original idea of Dahl that all the workers are regular humans dressed in white, and I pushed it a little further: they are basically so covered in white you can hardly see them anymore. They have white blouses and jackets, white gloves, white masks, white caps, white helmets... After each kid's demise, a mysterious poem is recitated (like in Dahl's original drafts), mysterious voices that could be eithe the worker's or something else... In fact, with each kid demise there is an element of sppokiness which may be the kid hallucinating out of fear, or not (Augustus in the river thinks something is tying to catch him or drag him down  ; Wilbur and Rice in the dark hear and feel creepy things...). And Wonka himself keeps making ominous references to "selling your soul to the devil"...

But in truth the Factory isn't a death trap at all. Behind the scenes, the workers are just normal people with their own life and their usual office routines, and who happent to leave very discreetly the Factory. The Factory is also based a lot on the Menier chocolate factory, which is the "real-life" Wonka factory. I may speak more about it one day.

Anyway... now let's go on with the tour!

# The Labyrinth. Behind each entrance, before each exit of the Factory, is a labyrinth, a maze Wonka designed after the works of Penrose and Möbius. Only he and his workers know the way out of them. This is merely a security measure.

# The Edible Garden. For this garden, I wanted to insist on the idea of it being fake and artificial - Wonka didn't try to create a perfect replica of a landscape. This room doesn't even have any real sense in the Factory, it is merely a piece of art he created so that he could come in here to relax and mediate. There are no windows, all the lights come from spots on the far-away ceiling and the ground is grey stone (because Wonka is revolted at the idea of making grass out of candy, it would be too dirty). There are trees of hard caramel and mint candies, orchards where the fruits are made of gummy, lollipops shaped like flowers and numerous sculptures of sugar - none of this is to be eaten however. At the back of the garden, there is the Chocolate River. The River serves a double use: on one side, it is merely an aesthetic addition to the Edible Garden. On the other, it is a source of energy for the Factory - it used to be a water mill, and Wonka kept the ancient structures but replaced water with chocolate. As such, the production of chocolate actually helps create energy back - and the river ends with a series of different pipes, each one leading to a different room where the chocolate will be used.

This is where Augustus Pottle meets his demise. The competitive  glutton tried to empty the river of its content, and fell into it. Sucked up by one of the glass pipes, he did a long travel through the tubes and pipes of the factory, which crushed and reshaped his fat into a cylindric body - before he fell into one of the boiling vats. There, the heat was enough to have all his fat melt, like in a super-intense sauna. Hopefully, he was rescued before being boiled alive - but Augustus left the factory as a mass of sagging, extra-skin, his wrinkled folds dragging on the ground, like a skeleton wearing a bride's dress made of human flesh.

# At the back of the Edible Garden, there is a long hallway that passes by a balcony. Said balcony allows one to see the "Mosaic room", a place where Wonka makes mosaics out of pralines - and since the room is really vast, he can make giant mosaics.

# The Vanilla Fudge Mountain. While it looks like a miniature mountain kept inside a giant room, this titanic hunk of vanilla fudge is actually a fragment taken out of the Honeylaya mountain range (located somewhere between the great Black Thunder chocolate mines, and the sugar marshes of the Sea of Marmelade). [References to the Himalaya, the Black Thunder coal mines, the Black Thunder chocolate bars, the Sea of Marmara and salt marshes ]. This room is basically a copy-cut of Dahl's deleted chapter of the same name, with workers breaking down the mountain, piling the fudge in wagons and then sending it to the Cutting and Pounding Room.

This is where Wilbur and Rice meet their demise. Unruly, and tired of having all their pranks and "fun" sabotaged by Wonka and Bertie Upside, they decide to ride the wagons. Of course, they are sent down the Cutting and Pounding Room - hopefully for them, Wonka has installed an intelligent wire strainer/net that can catch all impurities detected, to clean the fudge. So the kids are saved, right? Well the thing is that, while waiting on the wire strainer for someone to save them, the kids, bored and gluttonous, ended up eating all the fudge that fell down around them. They ate so much of it, that the machine ended up identifying them as "fudge" instead of "impurity" (since they were basically 80 percent fudge after their gorging Xp). So they where sent down in the Room, thrown on a conveyor belt... ready to be pound and cut into slices. The workers realized this of course and stopped the conveyor belt before the knifes - but the kids still got pounded. Wilbur, who was lying on his side when he got pounded, became tall and thin ; while Tommy, who was standing up, got pounded on the head and became small and large. In fact, when they got out of the Factory, their angry parents ended up mistaking one for another and going home with the wrong boy.

# After the Vanilla Fudge Mountain, the tour goes by another hallway, this one with numerous tall and colorful windows - stained glass made of sugar. Each window illustrates a famous chocolatier or candy-maker, but in the style of saints in churches. You have Philippe Suchard (the grandfather of Milka), Henry Isaac Rowntree (the maker of the Fruit Pastilles and Fruit Gums), the Menier family (the biggest chocolatiers of 19th century and first half of 20th century Europe, and distant relatives of Wonka) ; the Murrie family (creators of Hersheys) and the Mars famly (bheind the Mars bars, the M&Ms, the Snickers and the Milky Ways). "All families" Wonla notes with an air of sadness. Indeed, Wonka always wanted a family - or rather at this point in his life he regrets to not have a family and an heir, isolated that he is in his factory.

# Inventing Room number 3. There are numerous "Inventing Rooms" in the Factory, dedicated to developping, inventing, testing, studying products or just do crash tests. The number 3 is clustered with huge, squat and heavy dark machines, with vats, cauldrons and ovens, and all sorts of other structures dragon-like due to the steam and fire they spill out. It quite a grim and sinister place, but it is also where Wonka tests his most fantastic inventions, like the Rainbow Drops, the Luminous Lollies or the Three-Course Meal Gum.

As you guess, this is where Violet Beauregard will meet her demise. I set myself a rule to avoid all blueberry transformations when dealing with the demises of the Violets, so here I rather use the tomato soup: after chewing (not only did Violet took the gum due to her "talent" but also because she misheard Wonka and thought it was a "tasting" room), her face becomes red and chubby, her skin smooth and glossy, her cheeks puff out, her nose bulges, her forehead bloats, her throat becomes big, her lips thick and her ears thin, pointy, green. Result? Her face looks like a mass of tomatoes. Tomatoes for cheeks, a tomato for a forehead, tomatoes instead of eyelids, a tomato for a nose and two for the lips... Think of the Arcimboldo paintings, how he made faces out of flowers and vegetables. It is the same thing here. And while her parent is furious at first, they end up actually realizing it might be for the better - because now she is truly unique and attention-attracting, and that's what her parents always wanted...

# Follows a long hallway with a series of different rooms: two are taken from the original book, the Fizzy Lifting Drinks and the Squares that Look Round. One I changed slightly: the Chocolate Milk Room, where Wonka keeps special cows that have a chocolate-flavored milk.

# The Heating Room. A room taken from Dahl's deleted chapter "The Warming Candy Room".

This Heating Room looks like the negine room of a submarine or a freighter, filled with turbines, pistons, pipes, wheels and pressure gauges. This is where Wonka creates all of his heat-related products: hot ice-creams to fight chilling days, hot ice-cubes to give back warmth to a cold drink, and finally the warming candies (see the original deleted chapter). Marvin Prune, absolutely outraged by what he perceives as Wonka breaking all laws of science and physics, tries to prove that he is a quack by stuffing himself with handfuls of warming candies. Which results in him over-heating: he becomes red, sweaty, thirsty, removes all of his clothes (save for his underwears) and screams to death.

Wonka will have him put in the freezer, and also covered regularly in water, to avoid him drying up to death or combust. But even as he is leaving the factory, he is still red, sweaty, steamy and in underwears - the falling snow melting as it touches him.

# The Nut Room. Another classic piece of the original factory that I wanted to reinvent. Basically, here the kids do not visit the Nut Room proper, but the Under-Nut Room, or Sub-Nut Room. You've got the Nut Room where the white-clad workers separate good nuts from bad nuts Then the "bad" batch is then in this under-room, where trained squirrels will sniff out any potential "good nut" the workers may have missed. All the nuts are on a conveyor belt, that is getting then thrown down a chute.

Of course, Elvira Salt meets her demise here by trying to take one of the squirrels by force, resulting in a squirrel attack. However, the squirrels do not push her down the chute. Rather, she climbs on the conveyor belt to avoid them and has her fur stuck in the belt. She could have escaped if she had let go of it, but she refused to let it go, so she fell down the chute... and Wonka cannot remember if this particular chute leads to the compost vat he uses to grow his fruits, vegetales and berries   - or to the furnace...

But don't worry, she actually falls down in the compost. Elvira will leave the factory extremely dirty, unbearably stinky, so much not even an entire week of baths and showers can remove it, and probably with one or two diseases, but alive.

# The Television Room. I did not had time to clearly prepare this one, but it will be where Michael (Mike) T-V meets his demise. Discovering he can go inside television, he is more happy to oblige, and is absolutely thrilled to be in his favorite shows. But as soon as he leaves the television, he realizes that he is now as small as a television character! No bigger than the screen! He will be sent back to his home, now only able to play with his toys and figurines, the only things at his doll-like size.

# The Molding Room

This room is also taken back from Dahl's original draft. Basically, it is where Wonka creates many of his chocolate sculptures - he has an entire zoo of chocolate animals, and very recently created a machine able to form men, women and children out of chocolate. And this is also where Bertie Upside will meet his demise.

You may be wondering: Bertie? What has he done wrong? He is kind, gentle, generous, perfect. He helped Charlie on numerous occasions, he stopped the mischief of the brats... Isn't he a good kid?

HE IS NOT. Grandpa Georges was right all along: if he appears better than the others, it means that he twice as worse.

Bertie Upside truly has a heart of gold. Which means a heart of cold and hard metal, not of flesh.

Bertie Upside is a psychopath, a sociopath, an evil little boy. Sure he knows how to put on a nice and gentle facade, but it is just manipulation. If he is orphaned, it is because he killed his own parents, and now that he is left alone with Charlie (Wonka being busy elsewhere), Bertie will try to kill him, just for fun, by putting him in the "Chocolate Boy" mould so that he would be smothered in a chocolate statue.

However (I have to admit this part is a bit blurry), Charlie will resist and Bertie will end up thrown inside another moulding machine... A piñata-creating machine. When Bertie will get out of the machine, he will still be a living boy... but now with a flesh as fragile as papier-mâché, and insides filled with candies. Now he is really a sweet kid inside as he is outside. And  he will have to be really gentle... if he doesn't want to break.

And of course after that Charlie gets the factory, as it turns out that Wonka was looking for an heir with this tour. Happy end!

   Now, as I mentionned a poem forms itself through the story, rhymes being added after each kid's demise (an idea originally taken from Dahl's first drafts of the story). It goes like this:

"Nine little children, in the garden they went,

But one fell, and then they were eight."

"Eight little children, an unruly mix,

Two rode to Chicago, and then they were six."

"Six little children went into a room as busy as a hive,

But one did not listen carefully, and then they were five."

"Five little children, less and less at every door,

One had a fever and then they were four."

"Four little children saw squirrels down the tree,

One fell down the squirrel hole, and then they were three."

"Three little children, and none are new,

One went to play and then they were two."

"Two little children, we are soon to be done,

One got his trickandtreat, and then there was one."

"One little children, everything he won,

He lived ever happily, and now we are done."

[happymetalgirl]

Five* Outside albums of 2020

I do this little list every year of my favorite albums that fall mostly “outside” the metal sphere and weren’t so metal-adjacent that I reviewed them formally during the year. The past three times I have written this little piece, I have kept it to five, but *this year, I’ve just had a hard time narrowing it down, so I figured, why do that? Well, I could go through a few dozen albums or so that I fucked with this year outside the metal sphere, but I’m compromising with the addition of a new, quick (we’ll see) honorable mention section.

So, in the interest of keeping my verbose tendencies in check, I’ll cut this introduction off and get into the honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions:

Anna von Hausswolff - All Thoughts Fly

I did review Anna von Hausswolff’s previous record, Dead Magic, back in 2018 as part of my bunch of metal albums reviews that year, because it was kind of tangentially metallic. It wasn’t a lot at a technical level, only a few metallic elements here no there, but it had a lot of harrowing qualities that I thought metal listeners might appreciate. For the Swedish singer and pipe-organist, that album really was the closest she ever came to metal’s territory, and I don’t think any flirting with the genre was intentional on her part. Most of what she does is haunting, neoclassical, organ-based music that’s usually not as wild as what Dead Magic was, and this year’s album is a real scale back to her roots and an appreciation for the pipe organ. While I do miss her bewitching vocals on this entirely instrumental album, All Thoughts Fly stands well on its own merits as both a solid tribute to von Hausswolff’s organ playing and as a beautiful, incredibly immersive ambient album that does so much with its relatively small palette. I’ve talked a few times on here about really shitty ambient music that’s approached with a clearly lazy attitude because of its supposed background role. Rather than being made to be ignored, All Thoughts Fly pulls you in and around in a swirl of lush sounds that aren’t too common in ambient music, and with a relatively minimal approach, relying on the naturally serene tambre of the instrument to fill the space with a lightening, floating ambience and well-structured movements to do the gentle moving. It’s a beautiful example of what an ambient album can achieve if it’s actually made with a lot of love and care.

Shabaka & The Ancestors - We Are Sent Here by History

Okay, that first one went pretty long. I’ll try to keep the rest of these here relatively short. Sons of Kemet band leader, Shabaka Hutchings, takes his other group on slightly less chaotic Afro-jazz odessey that what Sons of Kemet have been delivering us. While more contained on the surface within the genre’s usual light grey areas, Shabaka & The Ancestors move with freedom and flexibility on this album in a way that highlights the natural appeals of the Afro-jazz sound pallet through constantly engaging arrangements from masters of the craft.

Lady Gaga - Chromatica

I know we’re all well aware of Lady Gaga, but the pop icon has been relatively quietly been making the best music of her career since taking the edge rather than the center of the spotlight, from 2013’s diverse Artpop to 2016’s more bare-bones Joanne. And now, after her mellower, more traditional Americana-influenced album in 2016, Gaga cranks the volume and the fun way back up. Chromatica is a blast of an album whose wide span of dance pop albums influences new and old keeps it varied and lively all the way through. This album feels very much like it’s Gaga unleashed, just doing her thing and having a good time with a bunch of dance music styles that she’s always loved, and it’s impossible not to feel that enthusiasm secondhand, and groove the hell out along with it.

Black Thought - Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane & Abel

Black Thought has had nothing to prove since the relative inactivity of The Roots this past decade, but he has sure been rapping as if he does have something to prove on his solo work. The Philadelphia rapper put out a couple of EPs back in 2018 that showcased his impressive modern lyricism and flow, and the third, LP-sized installment in the series is just another offering of further proof of the man’s lyrical chops. There’s a little bit of an understated delivery in the music overall, but Black Thought really lets his words speak for themselves more than his moderate bravado. It’s not super flashy because it doesn’t need to be.

Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

Indie folk has always loved to soak in the puddles of personal sadness, but Californian singer Phoebe Bridgers takes the style to whole new depths of personally gripping, bordering on the outright emo, and that is by all means a compliment for rather than a shot at. The album’s candid journaling of Bridgers’ personal struggles is so tangible and so genuine that it would probably rival Connor Oberst’s best work with Bright Eyes. It is just a beautiful, yet tear-inducing album.

Alright, now on to the five “main” “non-metal” albums of the “list proper���.

Hexvessel - Kindred

Hexvessel are a Finnish six-piece whose sixth album of psychedelic folk here manages to touch on the same haunting, gothic tones that groups like Opeth and Gazpacho do at their most forest-y. Indeed, Kindred is an enchanting album, with sprawling styles and a full-bodied sonic pallet to keep it interesting the whole way through. And it’s as strong in its more bombastic song like that which opens the album as it is in its more stripped back acoustic tracks like that which closes it. Songs like “Magical and Damned” straight-up evoke Mount Eerie, while songs like “Kindred Moon” hearken to The Beatles at their most minimal and folky, and there’s plenty of spooky, mystical energy to go around. Definitely one of the best finds of the year for me.

The Strokes - The New Abnormal

Coming at the end of a seven-year gap between it and their previous album, 2013’s somewhat fan-polarizing Comedown Machine (which I liked a lot), The Strokes’ aptly named return is a return to the spotlight, but hardly to normalcy or the musical roots in garage rock that so many of the band’s fans have been sweating for. Twisting the electronic alternative rock of their Angles era into some odd, but mesmerizing forms, The New Abnormal is a subtly wild ride of an album through lots of melancholic overtones and undertones whose impact is made all the more potent by the occasional teasing of sorts with the few more traditionally rockin’ moments on here. It doesn’t take long to pull back the seemingly preppy synth rock or 80’s rock curtains to find the melancholy beneath “Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus” and “Bad Decisions”, respectively. But the band aren’t even that subtle with the immediate depression of just the straight-up guitar melodies on songs like “Selfless”, “Not the Same Anymore”, and the chill-inducing soar of “Ode to the Mets”. The album’s prize piece, though, has to be the utterly gorgeous and empathetic minimalist synth song, “At the Door”, whose simple melodies and bare delivery make for one of the most gently heart-piercing songs I know and of my favorite songs of the year and probably my favorite Strokes song ever, as hard as it is to listen to. Welcome back Julien and company.

Rina Sawayama - Sawayama

Quite possibly the best outright pop album I have heard in a long while, Sawayama sounds simultaneously fresh and vintage in the landscape it was born into, making use of a lot of early 2000’s pop rock instrumentation, even some heavy metal guitars here and there, but most importantly, a real sense of passion that seems to be flat-out absent from so much of the pop that I (usually inadvertently) hear. I don’t want to overstate the prominence of the metal elements, but the album does have a bubbling, infectious energy both vocally and instrumentally from front to back that the occasional bursts of heavy guitars between Sawayama’s charismatic, dance-inducing performances do provide a good snapshot of. Furthermore, there’s a rich diversity of song types across the album that dive into the pop sphere beyond the standard trend-hopping that dominates streaming playlists and make for a dynamic and fun, rather than disjointed, pop album. And that’s all only possible with the consistently tight compositions o the album. Indeed, this is one of the best pop albums I have ever heard, certainly in recent years.

clipping. - Visions of Bodies Being Burned

clipping. are the second artist to be on here two years in a row after last year’s spectacularly spooky There Existed an Addiction to Blood, and Denzel Curry’s one-two punch of TA13OO and Zuu in 2018 and 2019 respectively. There Existed an Addiction to Blood was a thrilling and fresh take on many tropes of horrorcore with the band’s already forward-thinking and creative noise-driven instrumental production guiding harrowing stories of femme fatales and street violence in a more modern setting that often flipped the script on victims and perpetrators, as well as settings themselves. Visions of Bodies Being Burned is quite literally a continuing sequel to that explosive album, also released in time for Halloween this year; the material was recorded in the same sessions as the previous album and in the same unique vein. Consequently, there’s not really a whole lot I can say about this album in contrast with the last without getting way too in-depth and spoiling the fun. Whereas MC Daveed Diggs’ hooks were one of the biggest strong points of last year’s album, the creatively noisy production is the big star on this album. The fans seem to be leaning a bit more toward this year’s release, but I think I’m still a little partial to There Existed an Addiction to Blood. Nevertheless, Visions of Bodies Being Burned is a blood-pumping follow-up not to be missed.

Mac Miller - Circles

The posthumous release from Pennsylvanian rapper Mac Miller captures the man at his most chill and contemplative. The album is more of a minimalist ambient singer-songwriter sort of album than hip hop and its serene atmosphere becomes kind of inadvertently tragic in the posthumous context, but it serves as a beautiful swan song for the creative rapper whose struggles with addiction sadly prevented him from being able to bask in the deserved wide appreciation of his sixth album. Circles is a soulful, bittersweet cap to Mac Miller’s legacy that I think anyone will be able to feel the love and raw humanness of.

[uncloseted]

my mom keeps badgering me about the capital event bc i really hated it but i support the blm protests and she says it’s hypocritical of me bc the protests were just as “violent” as the capital and “caused lots of deaths”. i never really have anything to say back to justify what went down, do you have any info i could use to explain myself? i know they were for completely different causes and one actually matters, but i don’t know how to justify the “violence” (i personally don’t think a majority of them were violent, all the ones where i lived were routinely peaceful and i think the extreme ones were sensationalized for the news). anyway sorry if it’s dumb i’m 14 and just trying to get into politics and stuff so i’m not super well informed and just trying to learn.

I’m sorry this has taken me a few days to get to.  What happened at the Capitol is complicated, and I want to make sure I give you as full of an answer as possible.  I also want to just quickly say that it’s awesome you’re getting involved in politics at such a young age and trying to help your parents understand these issues.  I would love to answer any questions you have about politics or social issues (or just kind of anything in general, I’m not picky).  Last thing and then I’ll get into the meat of this post- I’m a huge supporter of the BLM and police abolition movements and was a protestor over the summer, so I’m maybe a little bit biased.  This situation makes me really angry on a personal level, but I’ll try to stick to just the facts as much as possible in this post and let you know when I’m showing my own opinions.

So the first thing I want to talk about is language.  The Black Lives Matter protests were protests- a public expression of objection, disapproval or dissent towards a political idea or action, usually with the intention of influencing government policy.  In the US, protesting is a constitutional right protected by the First Amendment.  The storming of the Capitol was not a protest, and it wasn’t intended to be.  It was planned several weeks in advance with the explicit intention of disrupting the counting of Electoral College ballots.  Their stated goal was to overturn Donald Trump’s defeat in the presidential election, an election that is widely considered to be the freest, fairest, and safest election in US history (ironically, in part due to Trump’s insistence that there was voter fraud in the 2016 election).  Storming a public building is not a form of protest protected by the US Constitution.  Further, an attempt to overturn a democratic election is an attempt to carry out a coup.  The Capitol rioters will likely be charged with sedition (conduct that incites rebellion against the established order) and/or insurrection (a violent uprising against an authority or government).  The Black Lives Matter protestors were not attempting to carry out a coup against the US government, and none have been charged with offenses as big as those.

Next, I want to touch on motivation.  The Black Lives Matter protesters were protesting against police brutality towards minorities, particularly Black people.  There has long been a documented history of police misconduct and fatal use of force by law enforcement officers against Black people in the US.  Many protests in the past have been a response to police violence, including the 1965 Watts riots, the 1992 Los Angeles riots, and the 2014 and 2015 Black Lives Matter protests in response to the murders of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and Freddie Gray.  By contrast, the Capitol rioters were not motivated by fact.  They were called to action by the President of the United States, Donald Trump.  They were told that the election had been “stolen” from Trump, and were encouraged to march over to the Capitol to “take back our country”.  The idea that the election was stolen from the president is demonstrably false.  They weren’t motivated by a social issue, a concern for their own lives, facts, or even really principle.  “Our president wants us here...we wait to take orders from our president,” was what motivated them. The affiliations of those rioters are varied, but many of them are affiliated with either the far-right, anti-government Boogaloo Boys, the explicitly neofascist Proud Boys, the self-proclaimed militia The Oath Keepers, or the far-right militia group Three Percenters.  Many are also on the record as being QAnon followers (followers of a disproven far-right conspiracy that started off as a 4chan troll, which states that an anonymous government official, “Q”, is providing information about a cabal of Satan-worshiping, cannibalistic pedophiles in the Democratic party who are running a child sex trafficking ring and plotting against Trump.  Yes, really).

The intentions of BLM were largely peaceful.  BLM protest documents encouraged protesters to be peaceful even in the face of police violence, because the BLM protesters knew what the price of being violent would be.  We were encouraged not to bring weapons or anything that could be misconstrued as a weapon.  Even non-violent protests were met with tear gas, rubber bullets, and riot gear.  A reported 96.3% of 7,305 BLM protests were entirely peaceful (no injuries, no property damage).  The 292 “violent incidents” in question were mainly the toppling of statues of “colonial figures, slave owners, and Confederate leaders”.  There were also several instances of right wing, paramilitary style militia movements discharging firearms into crowds of protesters, and 136 confirmed incidences of right-wing participation at the protests (including members of the aforementioned Boogaloo Boys, Three Percenters, Oath Keepers, and Proud Boys).  It was also rumored that off-duty police were inciting violence (although to my knowledge, that is unconfirmed).  There is no evidence that “antifa” (a decentralized, left-wing, anti-racist and anti-fascist group) played a role in instigating the protests or violence, or even that they had a significant role in the protests at all.  People who were involved in crimes were not ideologically organized, and were largely opportunists taking advantage of the chaos for personal gain.  

By contrast, the “Storm the Capitol” documents were largely violent; messages like, “pack a crowbar,” and “does anyone know if the windows on the second floor are reinforced” were common on far-right social media platforms.  One message on 8kun (formerly 8chan, a website linked to white supremacy, neo-Nazism, the alt-right, etc) stated, "you can go to Washington on Jan 6 and help storm the Capitol....As many Patriots as can be. We will storm the government buildings, kill cops, kill security guards, kill federal employees and agents, and demand a recount."  The speakers at the Trump rally encouraged attendees to see themselves as foot soldiers fighting to save the country, and to be ready to “bleed for freedom”.  The Capitol rioters were mostly armed; rioters were reportedly seen firing pepper spray at police officers, and pipe bombs, molotov cocktails, and guns (including illegal assault rifles) were found on the protesters. One protester was filmed saying, “believe me, we are well armed if we need to be.”  Some protesters arrived in paramilitary regalia, including camo and Kevlar vests.

I quickly want to touch on scale.  The George Floyd BLM protests are thought to be the largest protests in US history, with between 15 and 26 million (largely young, sometimes children, minority) people attending a protest in over 2000 cities in 60 countries.  There were around 14,000 arrests, most being low-level offenses such as violating curfews or blocking roadways. 19 deaths have been reported, largely at the hands of police.  Only one death is known to have been a law enforcement officer.  The number of people who stormed the Capitol is still somewhat unclear, but it seems to be between 2,000 and 8,000 (largely older white, cis, straight, Christian men) people.  80+ people have been arrested for federal crimes, including 25+ who are being charged with domestic terrorism (something nobody associated with BLM is being accused of).  There have been five deaths reported.  One was a police officer, and the other four were rioters.  Of those deaths, one was a police related shooting (a female Air Force veteran).  The other three died of unrelated medical emergencies.  One reportedly had a history of high blood pressure and suffered a heart attack from the excitement.  

Now I want to look at government response.  During the BLM protests, there was a huge response from law enforcement.  200 cities imposed curfews, 30 states and Washington DC activated over 96,000 National Guard, State Guard, 82nd Airborne, and 3rd Infantry Regiment service members.  The deployment was the largest military operation other than war in US history, and it was in response to protests concerning, in part, the militarization of police forces.  The police were outfitted in riot gear.  They used physical force against BLM protesters, including batons, tear gas, pepper spray, and rubber bullets, “often without warning or seemingly unprovoked,” per the New York Times.  Anecdotally, everyone I know now knows how to neutralize pepper spray, treat rubber bullet wounds, build shields out of household items, how to prevent cellphones from being tracked, and how to confuse facial recognition technology to prevent being identified (as six men connected to the Ferguson protests mysteriously turned up dead afterwards, and the police were using cellphone tracking technology).  Amnesty International issued a press release calling for police to end excessive militarized response to the protests.  There were 66 incidents of vehicles being driven into crowds of protesters, 7 of which explicitly involved police officers, the rest of which were by far-right groups.  Over 20 people were partially blinded after being struck with police projectiles.  When the BLM protests were happening, Trump said that, “when the looting starts, the shooting starts.”

In contrast, the response to the Capitol protesters was relatively tame, especially given that the US Capitol’s last breach was over 200 years ago (when British troops set fire to the building during the war of 1812) and the rioters weren’t being shy about their aspirations to conduct an armed insurrection incited by the sitting president.  There was (widely available, able to be found through a Google search, everyone saw it) prior intelligence that far-right, extremist groups were planning on (violently) Storming the Capitol on January 6th, with the intention of interrupting the Electoral College ballot counting and holding lawmakers hostage.  However, the US Capitol Police insisted that a National Guard presence would not be necessary for the protests, and Pentagon officials reportedly restricted DC guard troop from being deployed except as a measure of last resort, and restricted them from receiving ammunition or riot gear.  They were instructed to engage with rioters only in self-defense, and were banned from using surveillance equipment.  Despite prior knowledge of the “protests”, Capitol Police staffing levels mirrored that of a normal day, and no riot control equipment was prepared.  The Capitol Police weren’t in paramilitary gear the way they were for the BLM protests.  The mob walked in to the Capitol with little resistance.  Some scaled walls, some broke down barricades, some smashed windows, and one video even seems to show Capitol Police opening a gate for the mob. Rioters traipsed around the Capitol (one of the most important government buildings in the country) with little resistance, looting and vandalizing offices of Congress members.  Some rioters felt safe enough to give their names to media outlets, livestream their exploits, and take selfies with police officers.  One man was (ironically) carrying a Confederate flag, a symbol of a secession attempt on the part of the South (and of racism). It took 50 minutes for FBI tactical teams to arrive at the scene, and the National Guard were initially directed by Trump not to intervene.  Pence later overturned that ruling and approved the National Guard.  Police used finally used riot gear, shields, smoke grenades, and batons to retake control of the Capitol, but notably no tear gas or rubber bullets.  Video showed rioters being escorted away without handcuffs.  Trump’s response to the riot was, "we love you. You're very special ... but you have to go home." 

This is where I’m going to get a little editorial, but I think it’s important to say.  If the people storming the Capitol Building were Black, they would have been met with a large, pre-coordinated military presence, violent restraint, arrests, and quite possibly would have been shot.  They wouldn’t have made it inside the Capitol, much less been given free rein to wander around without immediate consequence. Hundreds of people during the George Floyd protests were arrested for just being present- 127 protesters were arrested for violating curfew on June 2nd in Detroit alone, twice the number of arrests made during the storming of the US Capitol.  It turns out that the police do know how to use restraint, after all.  What an absolute shock.  It’s almost like they’re a corrupt and racist institution we should get rid off...

The last big thing I want to talk about is the outcome.  The BLM protests were meaningful, but the outcome from them has been tame.  Nobody has been accused of domestic terrorism. State and local governments evaluated their police department policies and made some changes, like banning chokeholds, partially defunding some departments, and passing regulations that departments must recruit in part from the communities they patrol.  Only one city, Minneapolis, pledged to dismantle their police force.  The response has largely been localized.  I think the biggest impact it’s had is introducing people to the concept of police abolition and getting more people involved in the movement.  By contrast, the Capitol riots have resulted in over 25 people being accused of domestic terrorism and the second attempt to impeach Donald Trump, something that has never happened before in the history of the US.  

But what really concerns me is the precedent this sets.  Donald Trump is an idiot, and he’s gotten this far.  We can’t count on the guy who takes his place to be an idiot, too.  The next guy could be clever, strategic, well-spoken, well-mannered... not to invoke Godwin’s law here, but people liked Hitler.  He was a persuasive speaker and capitalized on conspiracy theories about World War 1 to gain support.  His 1923 attempt to overthrow the Bavarian government failed, but sympathy for his aims grew.  He painted himself as a good, moral man who loved dogs and children and was trying to do right by his country (by, among other things, arresting communists and leftists, and then eventually all minorities).  Trump isn’t Hitler.  He’s not even a Hitler analogue.  But Trump has already done this much damage to the fabric of our society.  He’s worn down our relationship with the media, with one another, with democracy, with morality, and with truth itself.  We have to be prepared for the idea that the next guy might be a much better politician.  Getting rid of Trump isn’t the end; it’s the beginning of a fight against fascism that’s only going to grow from here.

There are other differences you could point to.  BLM protesters wore masks to prevent the spread of COVID (and indeed, researchers have reported that the protests did not drive an increase in virus transmission), for example, while the rioters were largely unmasked.  But I think the bottom line is that the millions of BLM protesters were doing their best to be responsible citizens fighting peacefully for an evidence-based, human rights cause, even though they knew that as a primarily minority group of people, they would be met with violence.  The thousands of far-right, white, Capitol insurrectionists were doing their best to overturn a free, fair, safe, and democratic election because of a call to action by Trump and a stringent belief in disproven conspiracy theories, which they knew would be met with minimal resistance despite the severity of their actions.  The insurrectionists are fascists, full stop, and we should call them what they are.  The BLM protesters were by and large just people, of all different political views and motivations, who wanted to fight against something they saw as unjust.  

I’m sorry that this is such a long post. This topic has been on my mind all week, and I wanted to give it the nuance it deserves.  All we can do from here is to keep fighting- for justice, for truth, and, hopefully, for peace.

[revol-lover]

dreams don’t end at “30″

so i just had a little breakthrough and maybe this wont sound like anything to anyone else but i just have to share it

so i’ve talked about this before. about how my friend and i were both planning these personal development like goals for this year that covid got in the way of. and he said something, about how this is his last year in his 20s and he wanted to get some goals accomplished before 30 

and i thought about that and realized something.

i have been feeling similarly about a few goals that i’ve been hanging onto for years and years. like i’m going to be honest with you, some people might remember this if you’ve been around here for a long time but probably not. anyway when i was in high school i really wanted to make music, sing, learn an instrument. and i did make some covers that i posted on myspace (showing my age here lol) and youtube but then i kind of gave up on it when

 1) became 18 and realized my dream to go to NYC and pursue music when i was 18 wasn’t happening because of a million reasons (it was very much a pipe dream, right? i mean you can’t have that dream and not prepare for it and i didnt. also i was too scared at the time to even move out to my own place if i had the funds to do so because my parents wouldnt have really approved and i was still so under their thumb) 

2) broke up with my musician boyfriend. which needed to happen. but he was the only person super passionate about that kind of goal at the time around me (till he ran lol)  and he actually is still doing music now so good for him but basically 

because of those 2 reasons i just let go of that dream all together as something i thought i wanted to do but was “unrealistic”.

but the thing about turning 30 and feelings like you needed to achieve all these personal/dreamy/goals in your 20s. what is that bullshit? why? 

what changes when you cross over to 30? i’ll tell you one thing. media pushes movies, books, films, everything about people chasing their dreams in their 20s and “settling” down in their 30s. where’s my inspiring movie about the 32 year old mom who finally wrote a song and performed it live after being terrified her whole life of doing so?

 think about it though

in your 30s you. *might* have a better paying job than you did in your 20s. which means, if you can manage to find time or a way for it, you *might* be able to save a little more money or afford to do something like, buy that guitar and guitar lessons in order to learn to play and write a song and live out your dream in some way, even if its just learning to play so you can play at an open mic. and maybe you’ll like that and you’ll somehow connect with likeminded people and form a band. idk. your dreams dont have to end in your 20s. 

you dont have to fall into the trap of your 20s are for your dreams that are so big you feel like the chance of achieving them is getting struck by lightening

and then your 30s are for fancy adult goals like buying a house, and going on a $10k vacation and those things are probably just as hard as the goals you had in your 20s but the world wont make you see it that way. its seen as “selfish” to prioritize and budget for your artistic goals - but not a house. no that’s responsible and what you “should” do. but its ok to prioritize something that’s going to give your soul fulfillment too! we need to believe that! because it’s true. we are not here just to work our jobs and live mundane colorless lives once we aren’t considered “young” anymore (but 30s are still young. not what i’m saying)

 you’re always going to be chasing something big and if you let the world control what that thing is you’re always going to be on some rat race. 

it’s fine if you achieve your goals in a different order than the world says you were supposed to. i got married young and had a child young, that was how my life played out and i’m happy with that because, yes, finding love and becoming a mother very much were goals of mine.

yes i dropped out of college because i couldn’t afford it and i couldnt find a major that felt worth being in debt for. and also, because hey guess what? contrary to what a lot of people will try to lead you to believe, college is not for everyone. and college does not = success. college drop out does not = failure. it’s just an option of something you could do with your life. AND if you didn’t go to your college in your 20s it doesnt mean you can’t in your 30s. or 50s. hell my husband, who did go to college saw elderly (think, 80s!) people going to his college as students! college isn’t just for 18 year olds fresh out of high school. 

My 27th birthday is in 2 weeks and no, i have not yet to worked up the courage to write an original song from words to music, or have the courage to get on a stage and sing anything, or talk to a stranger, or publish any of my writing or art, goals i’ve had whirling around in my brain since I was 18, but, it’s going to happen. maybe this year. maybe when i’m 35, but it’s going to happen. a number is not going to be the thing holding me back.

that whole mentality of “my youth is slipping away i need to achieve all these dreams before midnight the day of my 30th birthday” is so stupid and flawed and we all deserve to see ourselves, and our individual potential as more than that. 

last part of this rant - one of the reason i even became so passionate about reignighting some of my dusty, old goals, that it turned out, i still cared about, is because i had a moment where i was like

ok i am a mom. i am someones mom. how will my daughter see me, as a person, not just her mom? 

kevin and i always talk about how between the two of us we’ve both had a lot of quintessential young adult experiences that we look forward to sharing with her. like, quitting jobs, getting in car accidents, that one time i unknowingly participated in an illegal bonfire and ran from the cops then lied straight to their faces and somehow got away with it (literally my ONE act of teen rebellion), changing college majors like 3 years in (kevin), failed classes, tried cigarettes, etc like i’m ready, and hope that one day she will feel comfortable talking to us about things because we’ve been through things and have a lot of input and two different perspectives to offer

but further than that, i realized that i want her to know that her mom is a person too. i want her to know that mom is also passionate about writing, and music, and somehow tackled some of her goals in regards to that so that SHE can feel that SHE, too can do those things. and i know that, that is in part how it works 

because,

my dad IS an artist. my dad IS a musician. yall. my dad is SO talented.  my dad is brilliant. besides his artistic abilities which include, drawing literal realistic as fuck portraits, sculpting, painting, playing guitar, bass, piano, mandolin, he also knows music composition, etc etc etc beyond all of that, he also taught himself fucking PLUMBING and ELECTRICIAN SHIT to fix things in our house growing up. like he bought a book. and taught himself. my dad. i grew up thinking that was normal but i realized not everyones dad can just tear down the bathroom and rebuild it from scratch down to the plumbing without being a licensed professional.

but anyway the point is - as talented as my dad is, he doesnt really pursue his artistic dreams much. and its sad. i’m glad that i’ve seen some of the work he did when he was younger. i’m glad that if i bring it up, he’ll show me something he can do. but he doesnt pursue it anymore really. my dad works an exhausting physical labor job but even he, as a 50something year old has fallen into that trap of like, i dont have time to draw, but he will scroll his phone and read articles for hours and i’m not shaming him. i’m just saying we all have this problem in the modern era of technology and social media and what not (hell i am writing a post on tumblr instead of my book right now).

but if timing was different and my dad grew up in a different time, where lets say something distracted him from doing the little bit of art and music that he did when i was a kid that i was able to witness, if i hadnt seen that. i wouldnt know that.. in a way.. that’s in me. i mean, he’s my dad. if my dad could pick up a craft and work at it to be good at it, why can’t i? there are so many musicians and (kind unrelated but not rly - i think being “self made” is an art) business owners in my family. there’s either some common thread in our genetics ORRRRRRRRRR just growing up around people working at and succeeding at those kinds of goals shows you that it CAN be done so you’re more likely to believe in your abilities

and i want that for my daughter. because even as an almost 3 year old i can see that she has a gift for music, and reading. and even if i’m wrong about that and she grows up wanting to do some other thing as a job or hobby, i want her to know, by seeing her mom do it, that she can achieve anything she puts her heart to. you don’t have to box yourself in because of your age or your sex or the fact that you’re a parent. 

and your dream doesnt have to become your career. it can be a hobby and still be fulfilling. like yes, 18 year old me dreamed about some life in nyc singing in clubs or bars or whatever and being ~famous (lol) and that did not happen, but i can still get out there and play open mic downtown and get that love of music, and desire to face my fear of performing out of my system. maybe i’ll love it. maybe i’ll hate it. but i’ll have done it. and that’s the ultimate goal. 

sorry i went off but i had to get that out of my system and i’m very passionate about 

[sporadic-writer]

What's in a name?

I made an OC character. Let’s pretend that everything worked out after Endgame. Or like.. things worked out after Civil War and this is before it all went to shit. This is more of an intro mainly. I honestly don’t really know where I’m goin with this. Also, eventually Bucky x OC.

Word count - 1424

Warnings - some swearing I guess, bad first time writing?

Tony walks into the common area of the Avengers tower. Everyone was all lounging about and not paying any mind to anything in particular.

“Alrighty team. We got a couple of visitors coming up in a bit. So look alive! Not that Wade needs your upmost attention, or respect, but they have info we need.”

           “Wait. Wade Wilson? As in that annoying fool Deadpool?” Sam asks. Tony nods in response, “Ha! This will be fun! Is she coming too?”

           “Yes, yes she is. The X-Men still think he needs a babysitter, which isn’t wrong. But she’s respectable and has a lot of experience under her belt. Acts pretty casual for nearly being a century old, but she keeps the connection between us and them.”

           “She’s hot too!” Sam pipes up eagerly to add that in for the group. The others mainly just roll their eyes or scoff while slightly nodding in agreement.

           Steve has a questionable look on his face, “I didn’t know E was nearly 100.”

           “Who is E guys?” Peter Parker meekly askes from the couch next to Bucky, who has the same curious look on his face.

           “Oh, she’s a vet like the Crypt Keepers here,” Tony explains while pointing to Bucky and Steve. “The main difference is that she was never frozen. Oh! And she has powers. Controlling the elements and all that. I see the look on your face, to answer your question; the stuff Hydra and the Nazis did to her during the war kept her alive. But she’s cool about it so don’t get morbid on my ass. Ok?”

           Peter and everyone else nods in understanding. Tony tells them that they will be at the Tower within the hour. Everyone just goes back to doing what they were doing before.

           About 45 minutes later, the elevator dings and two people walk out. The first people see, or hear rather, is the Merc with the Mouth announcing his presence. Followed by a woman who smirks and rolls her eyes.

           “No no! Don’t get up people, especially since some of you are quite old. Wouldn’t want anyone to bust a hip on my behalf. Ow! E don’t hit me! And don’t look at me like that! Fine.. I’ll behave.”

           The silver hair woman catches everyone off guard. Mainly because she kept Wade Wilson in line. But also, because she doesn’t look at day over 25 for someone who is nearly 100 years old. She just scoffs and looks around.

           “No, you physically cannot behave. You’re an asshole who must always be a smart alec. I’m sorry for him, now and anything he will do. I’m E.” She goes to shake hands with those closest to her.

           “What does E stand for?” Peter askes from the back of the group.

           “That is private, personal information. I keep that to myself” She shifts on her feet while continuing to explain. “Everyone takes their guess though, so I assume you will eventually right?” Peter shrugs in agreement.

           “Right, now that we have all met ‘White Storm’ can we get on with the information sharing? I have an Amazing World of Gumball marathon to get back to while getting cuddly with Beast.”

           E laughs out loud and moves toward the conference room. “Jesus I hate you sometimes. But he’s right, we should handle this.” She struts off while a confident sway in her hips, the men in the rooms following without thinking. The women admire her presence and chuckle at the men acting like boys trailing behind her.

           About an hour or so later, they all head out of the conference room knowing all information everyone needs to know. Wade made a joke and rolled out after the others invited you to hang out for a bit.

           “He has a good heart. It’s just covered in a hard, thick, intense… um obnoxious jackass coating. With a nice dipshit shine.” E looks at the others in the room as they understand, sort of, about her friend’s nature.

           “He’s fine. Most of us have gotten used to it. The bonus is just that whenever he visits, you usually follow not far behind.” Sam smiles and flirts with the woman beside him on the couch. Wanda rolls her eyes at his attempt, already knowing she won’t go for it at this time.

           Little did everyone know, was that 2 super soldiers were getting drinks and watching this whole thing ensue from the center island.

           “Steve, shouldn’t we pull him back?” He surprised himself at the slight hint of jealousy he felt when he had not even had a full conversation with the silver haired woman.

           “No, I know E. She’s fine. This is not Sam’s first attempt at making a pass at her. Ha, you should have seen him the New Year’s Eve before Ultron. He got so drunk we had to send him to bed in order to leave her alone. She almost lit him on fire.” As he says this with amused admiration, Bucky’s eyes get wide with both shock and being impressed.

           “Careful Sam. Haha now don’t get bummed. You made a pass and I turned it down. No reason we can’t still be friendly,” she says while smirking at the man. “Now, if you excuse me. I am going to go get something to drink.”

           “Did you quote a Marilyn Monroe movie just there?” Bucky asks as she heads to the cupboard to get a glass.

           “Indeed I did. She’s one of my favorites. I met her in a New York City diner bathroom actually. She’s a delight. Now I just wish someone not from our generation would understand that reference.”

           E and Steve settled into idle chat. Bucky was next to them observing the woman for the first real time. He noticed how traits of every decade flowed through her. Grace and sophistication from the 20s through the 50s was noticeable. Her upbringing was clearly not from this time. Spunky charm and free-flowing fun from the 60s and 70s was prevalent in her smile and demeanor. Then, her openness and bright eyes for adventure surely gotten from the 80s to now was also at large. Not only were her eyes bright, but they were purple as well. They were like two gemstones sparkling out. Yet, behind them, he could see the hardships she’s faced. He could see it because it was the same he sees in his own eyes.

           “I’ve never seen purple eyes before.” He blurts out without thinking. She smiles while Rhodes mutters a “smooth” behind him while digging in the fridge.

           “Yeah, side effect from the testing done on me during the war,” she notes his regretful face for bringing up an intense topic. “No no it is completely fine! I see my look as an upside to all that happened.”

           “If you don’t mind me asking, how did you get over all of that messed up stuff that happened to you? It took me a long time to get control of the big guy.” Bruce looks timid, but immensely curious in asking.

           “For the most part … a huge bag of weed. Picked that trick up in the 60s”

           Peter nearly coughs to death from the couch, while Tony makes a comment of this being why he likes her. While Bruce simply takes in the response he was not expecting. Bucky continued to be surprised by her. E explained how it keeps her calm or helps her sleep, adding that it also adds to a good time. Steve’s slight look of disapproval was gone when she shoved his shoulder and told him to loosen up. Everyone fell into a fun rhythm. Eventually though, E had to leave. She stated that there was work to do with the X-Men and she needed to head back. Before leaving, Tony invited her to the event being held next weekend. She eagerly said yes before giving a genuine smile goodbye and heading toward the elevator.

           Nat looked at Tony with a questioning face. “We are holding an event next weekend?”

           “Yes,” he simply responded. “That way we see more of her, and I get to please the big wigs on Capitol Hill by helping their image by donating to some charities. Just a simple cocktail party with a small little auction. No gala or anything like that.”

           They all accepted it was happening, while Bucky was just nervous and excited to see her again. Completely unaware of the future that was in store for him and the team later to come.

Sorry for the bad closing. I’ll continue more if people like this. Also, if ya got a title let me know! I’m blanking on one. Thanks for reading and giving it a shot!

[folkloreguk]

Earth and Hell (pt.2)

Summary: Georgina, an egoistic vampire. Baekhyun, a loyal werewolf. Exo as hosts, zombies, demons, and warlocks. A city that needs saving.  ||  "You owe me for saving your life."  ||

warnings: blood, gore, death, mentions of sex (literally pure sin)

In case anyone prefers it, I also post this story on my wattpad!

Earth and Hell MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

Sehun's finger ran over my bottom lip, collecting the drops of blood left on it. He then took the tip of it between his own lips, tasting the last bit of the innocent girl that now was no more. Minseok and Jongdae watched from their seats, not finding any liking in human blood. They weren't very fond of humans, but they were definitely not into killing them. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were having a brain - feast at a nearby table, their content chews and licks echoing through the room. I knew Chanyeol wasn't too fond of killing humans, but I guessed he must have been especially hungry that night.

Baekhyun had, to my surprise, not participated in the whole killing thing. He was sat on the other side of the lounge on a bar stool, looking into his phone grimly. Shaking my head, I looked away. I was not going to let a moody dog mess up my meal.

"Kai?" he suddenly asked. Involuntarily, I turned my head again. Just like every other person in the room. "You can have this, actually. I won't need it anymore."

Then he put his phone down on the bar. Kai instantly appeared, his head poking through the tabletop, grinning widely. Because he had no freedom to leave this place, he absolutely adored presents. I wasn't sure what he was going to do with a phone, though. Then Baekhyun got up, pulled the collar of his jacket up, and walked towards the exit.

"You're already leaving?" Chanyeol asked, a little disappointed. I really couldn't grasp what made Baekhyun so interesting to the demon.

"I can't wait to get that dog smell out of my nose," I said quietly, smirking. Not quietly enough, though. Baekhyun's throat released a low, dangerous growl. That was it. Then he simply left.

"Someone's extra moody today," Sehun grinned. Usually Baekhyun was fun to tease, making me a little disappointed at his boring reaction of tonight. But then I remembered the bar fight from the other week, and was glad he had left without a quarrel. For the sake of Chanyeol's bar. Meanwhile, Kai was busy with his newest possession. Faster than I had thought, he had found the camera function. The way he looked at the screen whilst holding it not even half an inch from his eyes made me wonder, though.

"You know what guys? I think I'm gonna get going too," I stated. "It's Halloween. Gotta scare some kids."

"Do me a favor, don't feed on them," Minseok advised.

"I said scare, not eat," I replied, getting up from Sehun's lap. He huffed in protest, Junmyeon joining him.

"I'll be back later," I grinned, pulling my dress into place a little, before strutting towards the door. I waved at the men one last time before taking the back door into the rather cold October air. Not that any temperature bothered a vampire.

The night club wasn't far from the sea, luckily. I enjoyed being down by the water at night, when it was quiet and the waves were the only sound interrupting the night. My city was not a common one. It composed of many islands, all connected through countless bridges. The one I was on at the moment was the one I called home. The high cliffs of the island were connected with the surrounding ones through five bridges, going in different directions. I preferred my home island over all others. Not only because there was no werewolf pack residing on this one. But mainly because of the old buildings and museums making up the biggest part of it. Hardly anything had changed since I had moved there 80 years ago.

I smoothly flashed my sharp teeth at a group of teenage boys walking past me. They only snickered in excitement, turning their heads my way. Silly, silly, humans. As I got closer to the north bridge, I let my eyes run along the sky and over the millions of stars. Super eyesight surely was useful if you wanted to watch the stars, even in the city. All of a sudden, something caught my attention. Not something. Someone.

A figure stood on top of a tall building, right by the edge. Taking your life on Halloween, ironic. Becoming a ghost on the one day of the year people once tried to get rid of them. I snorted. Then, I narrowed my eyes to slits. No way. That was not just any stupid human. It was the stupidest werewolf I had ever had the ordeal of knowing. Having drawn my interest, I sped up. My feet raced along the asphalt, until I arrived at the side of the tall building. My hands grabbed the rain downwater pipe while I shed off my heels. In the time of seconds, I clambered up the side of the high brick wall, my bare feet and hands accompanied by my vampire light speed. I was careful not to arouse his attention as I lifted myself up on top of the edge. I felt dizzy looking down at the small humans for a moment, but then my gaze turned. Baekhyun was standing on the edge like before, nervously knotting his fingers. He kept looking down and over the city as if someone could come and save him. The building was so tall, I could view past the cliffs to the other islands. Around us, the water surrounded the small land. I could hear the waves clearly, not sure if the wolf could too, though. I watched him for a minute, but got bored quickly.

Although werewolves were resistant and could heal usually deadly wounds, this fall would for sure take his breath. I wasn't sure what to do. My difficult decision was taken by a quiet sound. Only a vampire would hear this. There were steps coming up from inside the building. Judging by the volume of the noise, they were only one, maybe two levels away.

Soundlessly, I jumped onto the roof of the small part over the stairway that lead through the door onto the rooftop. Then Baekhyun heard the steps as well. But it was too late. Seconds before he could react, the metal door swung open. I watched from above as four figures stormed in the wolf's direction. They were pointing guns at him and shouting.

"Hands where we can see them!" a woman shouted, angrily. The figures were dressed in black, making it easy for me to spot their brown weapon belts. Silver bullets and wooden daggers. I knew what that meant, and so did Baekhyun, who held his hands high in fear. Hunters. I wondered why he didn't just let them kill him, if that's what he came for anyway. Silly dog. I waited for the loud shot. Would passer-byers hear it? Where were they going to get rid of his body? I waited, and waited.

But nothing came. One of the figures approached Baekhyun from behind, a pair of handcuffs ready. Oh no. Just like before, I also knew exactly what that meant. Capture. Torture. Slow death. I didn't feel sorry for the werewolf. I wish he could have just stop bugging me, take his pack and go someplace else. But this was a problem. I realized how much he knew about me. And judging by how mutual our hate was, he would not hesitate to talk about me. And the last thing I needed was an annoying group of hunters making my life complicated. I thought of Chanyeol's lounge, of Minseok and Jongdae, Kyungsoo and innocent Kai. They would hunt them all down if Baekhyun told them. And he would. If not freely, he would give up after being tortured for days. I knew he wasn't strong enough. I huffed in annoyance. I had to help him.

By now the werewolf had let them tie him up, the figure behind him brutally shoving him toward the rooftop door they had come through. Just before they could reach it, I dropped from the roof. I landed like a cat on my feet, right in front of them.

"I must admit," I announced. Before any of the surprised hunters could react, I had practically teleported behind one of them, taking his knife. "This is not how I had imagined my night to go."

Then I slit his throat. The smell of blood made its way into my cells rapidly, making my eyes shine in a bright red. A shot fired my way, accompanied by a gasp from one of the slower-reacting hunters. Before the bullet had even come half my way, I took my place behind the next hunter, the silver knife at his throat. His body was covering mine, so that the hunters had no chance of shooting me that moment. Baekhyun's eyes stared at me in surprise. He had been quite lucky I had been around.

"Now, if you would like to see this young man die too, keep pointing that gun at me," I said, getting annoyed. These humans really thought they stood a chance against me. "If not, I suggest you open that dog's cuffs."

For a second they blinked, and I almost wanted to correct myself and say 'werewolf'. Stupid humans. Reluctantly, the woman walked over to Baekhyun, fumbling behind his back, until he flinched and pulled his hands out of the silver handcuffs, rubbing his wrists in pain.

"Now that wasn't so difficult, was it?" I smirked. "Now, I want you all to go through that door, and don't you dare look back."

Hunters were so easily scared. They thought they knew everything about us creatures, but really they were terrified of every of our talents. Agonizingly slowly, the two remaining figures made their way through the door, while I still held on to the third member. When they had made it, I pushed the third guy inside, rapidly slamming the door closed and pressing my entire weight against it.

Just like I had expected, they weren't big on giving up. Vampires surely were strong, but three against one wasn't fair.

"Are you just gonna stand there, dog?" I asked Baekhyun, who quickly took his place next to me. He still had a look of confusion on his face as he gazed at me. Suddenly, a shot ripped through the night, and through the door. It missed me by inches. I had to get away from here. Hastily, I searched for Baekhyun's eyes.

"Let go in three... two...," I began, as Baekhyun looked at me. "-one!"

At 'one' - I couldn't believe it myself - I grabbed the brown haired wolf by the waist and jumped. The second we had landed on the small roof above the staircase I tackled him, throwing him to the ground so we lay flat next to each other. That's when the metal door swung open once more. Those hunters apparently didn't treasure their lives. But I was always careful when deadly weapons were in play. I held my finger to my lips, signaling Baekhyun to keep quiet next to me. He was way too close for my liking, our shoulders were touching. But I couldn't risk moving now.

Like headless chickens the hunters searched the roof for almost a minute. As if we were going to jump out if they stayed extra long. When they finally left, Baekhyun let out an exaggerated breath next to me. As I got up, I brushed some dirt from my dress and wiped my hair out of my face.

"You owe me for saving your life," I let out, matter of fact. He shot me an annoyed glare, but didn't fight back. "I take that as a thanks. You're welcome."

"What the hell were you doing following me?" he suddenly asked, looking pissed.

"Don't be full of yourself. As if I, a sophisticated child of the night, would follow you, a dirty dog," I laughed.

"Stop calling me that, bloodsucker," he argued.

"I was just coming to watch you jump to your death, that is all," I replied, ignoring his comment. "What was that about, anyways?"

"None of your business," he spat.

Oh really? I'll remember that next time you're almost being taken by hunters. What would your pack possibly do without you, their trusty, smelly, alpha?" I joked. At my words he flinched visibly, looking to the ground. I had obviously touched onto a weak spot. Interested, I gazed at him closely.

"There is no more pack," he suddenly said. I raised my eyebrows. "They're gone. All of them."

"Gone? Have they had enough of you? You see, I don't know how werewolf rules work but-" I started.

"Dead," he said. "They're all dead."

At his words something inside of me changed. His pack had been the biggest I had ever seen, at least 40 wolves by my guess. Baekhyun avoided my look, acting as if the black roof tiles were suddenly the most exciting thing he had ever laid eyes on.

"And you're telling me those idiotic hunters from just now managed to do that?" I wondered.

"I don't know. Earlier today I was walking home when I heard the howls from my people. When I arrived it was too late. No one's left alive. I don't know who would've been able to do a such thing and get away with it. My pack was strong," he told. In my years as a vampire I had seen werewolves fight humans. They were stronger, faster, and could get away even with deep wounds. You'd need an army to slaughter Baekhyun's pack like he had told me. Unease crept up to me.

"Whatever killed them. It was not human," he added. That explained why he was standing on the rooftop's edge at 3 in the morning. If I had a little more compassion, I would probably feel honest sorrow for the alpha. Now, I only feared for my own safety.

"I should go tell Minseok and Jongdae. Maybe they've heard something," I said. Like that, I jumped off the small roof, walking over to the rainwater pipe. "Don't try to kill yourself again or I won't be there to help."

Swiftly, I left an annoyed - looking wolf behind, climbing down the building's wall again. The rough material of the brick wall felt nice under my bare feet. I felt free. The last five meters I jumped, landing in an empty, narrow alley. My heels were still where I had left them. I gladly put them on, before walking back the way I came. I didn't get far until the dog smell drifted into my nose again. Without turning around I knew he was right behind me.

"Byun Baekhyun, what on earth could you want from me now?" I asked, looking forward sternly. He quickly caught up, so he was walking next to me, but left at least two meters space between us. I appreciated it.

"What could I, a sophisticated child of the moon, possibly want from you, a stubborn, nerve-racking bloodsucker?" he replied, making me grin in annoyance. "I wanna ask Chanyeol to stay at his for the night. Do you mind? Wait, I don't care if you do," he went on.

I had to restrain myself from ripping his head off right in the middle of the street. Like two sulky children we walked, not sharing another word the rest of the way.

[particlecounting]

Can Masks Capture Coronavirus Particles?

With the outbreak of the coronavirus, many people are wondering if masks capture coronavirus particles. It’s a lot to ask billions of people around the world to become mask experts overnight.

There is a lot of conflicting information. Do surgical masks capture coronavirus particles? Media outlets like US National Public Radio have claimed they don’t. Fortunately, scientists have already accumulated hard data on air pollution masks that can answer these questions.

How Big Are Coronavirus Particles?

First things first: we need to know how big the coronavirus is. Scientists have already used electron microscopes to measure how big the corona virus is. Coronavirus particles (fancy scientific name “virions”) are spheres with diameters of approximately 0.125 microns (125 nm). The smallest particles are 0.06 microns, and the largest are 0.14 microns.

This means coronavirus particles are smaller than the PM2.5 cutoff, but bigger than some dust particles and gases.

Now that we know how big the particles are, do masks capture coronavirus particles? Let’s break this down into two simpler questions.

  1. Can Masks Capture Coronavirus Particles?

The skeptic case: 

Amid the outbreak, some people have said: The coronavirus (and other viruses for that matter) is tiny, and masks are so thin. They can’t possibly get tiny coronavirus particles. Business Insider used this logic in their article whose title claimed masks “probably won’t protect you.”

  Coronavirus & Mask Livestream

Wondering whether masks work to protect you against the coronavirus? Check out our livestream recap covering all the info here!

  The scientific test:

Researchers from the University of Edinburgh tested different common masks by running a diesel generator (to mimic car exhaust) and piping the exhaust through the masks. They used a particle counter to see how many particles made it through the mask. Here’s my super scientific rendering of the setup:

    One important detail: the particle counter they used measured particles as small as 0.007 microns. That’s over 10 times smaller than the coronavirus particle diameter. We’re talking about truly tiny particles here!

They tested a whole range of masks, and here’s what they found:

  3M industrial filters were able to capture over 95% of particles down to 0.007 micron. Given that news outlets have claimed surgical masks can’t capture nanoparticles, it’s particularly surprising that the surgical mask was able to capture 80% of the tiny particles.

OK, but that was car exhaust. Maybe there’s something different about virus particles? In another study, researchers shot actual virus particles at N95 masks. The masks captured over 95% of virus particles.

Even poorly performing masks captured over 90% of viruses. The researchers chose two N95 masks that scored poorly in an earlier study, yet even these poor-performers still blocked 94% of particles under the heaviest air flow rate.

Conclusion: Masks – including surgical masks and N95 masks – can capture viruses and even particles over 10 times smaller.

  2. “OK, they can capture particles even smaller than the coronavirus, but when you wear them, all the air just leaks in the side.” 

  The skeptic case: 

Mask works in theory, but those tests aren’t on real faces! When you actually wear them, you can’t get a good enough fit, so they’re basically useless.

The scientific test:

To answer this question, you need a really expensive fit-test machine. Fortunately, we were able to get our hands on one machine to test a range of masks.

    The blue tube is sampling air outside the mask, while the white tube is sampling air from inside it (more details on the mask fit-test methods). 

Smart Air co-founder Anna Guo and Beijing-based Dr. Richard Saint Cyr also did fit tests, so I combined all of our data. Here’s how well the masks worked on our faces:

  View the full test data »

Several 3M masks were able to capture over 99% of tiny 0.01 micron particles (10 times smaller than the coronavirus), even while on people’s face. What’s more, surgical masks were surprisingly effective, capturing 63% of the tiny virus-sized particles.

Read more: Scientists randomized nurses to wear masks and tracked who get infected. Here’s what they found. »

Can Masks Protect People From The Coronavirus?

Bottom line: Masks can filter particles as small as 0.007 microns – 10 times smaller than viruses, and much, much smaller than the PM2.5 cutoff. What’s more, they work surprisingly well, even while people are wearing them. Surgical masks don’t work as well as N95 masks, but they are cheaper and more readily available. This makes them useful alternatives when other masks aren’t available.

Get the latest clean air tips!

Get updates on masks, air purifiers and air quality delivered straight to your inbox.

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 34: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

O: There would be... not implied violence at not following her directives.  There would be actual violence.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls.

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're going to be talking about episode number 34, “City of Steel.”  Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Sure.

O: Get ready for a very eventful episode today, folks!

S: We open at a very 80’s era New York City skyline.

O: Now with ninety percent more of flying birb.

S: Laserbeak, um, enters a manhole and flies down into the sewers.

O: Cowabunga, dude!

S: None of this makes sense!  I mean, where did all of this water come from?  It's like a river down here, and then there's just this ladder between two pipes that appears to serve utterly no purpose.

O: Like, I don't- I want to say there like, wasn't a way to get up to that pipe.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: Like, there was just a ladder between two pipes, that you didn't look like you could get to or something. [laughs]

S: Yeah, it doesn't look like it reaches anything it's just there's random ladder.

O: Yes, and then we're suddenly in an abandoned, and quite frankly, devastated subway, for some reason?

S: New York is weird, I guess?  Laserbeak shoots laser beams at a door to make it open.

O: This does not damage the door in any way, and shouldn't the Decepticons have a better way of opening doors than shooting at them?  I mean, they have several people who don't have hands!

S: Yeah... yeah.

O: Like-like- maybe- just- just the cassettes alone, you know?  I'm just saying.

S: Um-hm, and I mean, what if... what if like, Shockwave is holding something in his one hand?

O: Right!

S: He's got a gun for the other one.

O: I mean, I guess that- I guess that- that's an argument for shorting dolph- shooting to open doors.

S: [laughs]

O: Uh, unfortunately, but uh, I mean, like, I'm just saying, motion sensitive?  Something that senses Decepticon badge[s]?  Either those seem like perfectly reasonable options.

S: I mean, heck, maybe the shooting it was just a way of transmitting a code to open the door, I don't know.

O: [laughs] They really could have shown that in a different way but- but fair.

S: [sighs] Laserbeak enters Soundwave’s chest, and elsewhere the Constructicons argue amongst themselves.

O: And lo!  A very off model Megatron appears!  He will look off model for this entire episode and it will drive me nuts.  So, uh, just ignore me.  It's gonna keep coming up, I'm sorry.

B: [laugh]

S: Ah, Megatron admonishes the Constructicons for arguing and Soundwave reports that there is absolutely no nearby Autobot activity.

O: Megatron then laughs maniacally saying, “Soon New York City will be all mine!”

S: While waving his arms in the air like he just don't care.

O: Um, everybody dance now?

S: [singing] Everybody party!

O: [laughs]

S: [sighs]

O: And due to the Constructicon activity down below, we then see that the entire Empire State Building sinks into the earth.

S: Who knew there were just large holes under New York City?  If I were a New Yorker I'd be extremely concerned about this!

O: Either that, or maybe the Constructions just have been really, really, busy?

S: Both could be true.

O: [laughs]

S: God, sinkholes would be terrifying there. 

O: In a city?  Yeah, I mean- I mean- I think that's why normally you don't have cities built in places where sinkholes are as... common, but at the same time they still are built in cities- er- cities are built-

S: Well, I mean, the thing is it's not like people could really tell at that point not, I don’t think.

O: Not unless it had like, a history of happening.  France!  Paris!  That's wh- that's why the the catacombs exist.  Like, there had been all of this mining that had happened under Paris and so it was leaving these like- essentially, very- places that could crumble, you know, fall in.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: And so they had to do something to get structure down there.  Th- that is a partial reason why the catacombs exist in Paris.*

S: Oh, that is interesting.

O: Yeah, sorry, on that historical tangent on the too many documentaries Owls has watched in the past couple months.

S: [laughs]

O: Sorry! [laughs]

S: [sighs] At the Ark, the Autobots watched the news about the sinking Empire State Building and Optimus correctly intuits that this has to be Megatron's doing and all the Autobots roll out to head towards New York City.

O: It's time for another cross-country road trip!

S: Courtesy of Prowl.

O: We have to assume.  As they're leaving Optimus radios Sparkplug to tell them to have Wheeljack meet them in Central Park, but in the shot where like, Sparkplug is receiving this message he doesn't move at all, doesn't say anything, and it's just a very weird shot because it's like, this is not an alive person.

S: They were saving money.

O: Yes.  Then in New York, we see Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Wheeljack, Mirage, and Hound entering the city by way of water skis, when they spy Laserbeak.

S: Oh, water skis, the time tested and honorable method of travel over water.

O: I think what kills me is like, to my knowledge we don't even have like, toys that have water skis on them, so it seems so strange that they keep coming up?

S: It's a goofy show from the 80’s about giant robots of course they're going to bring up water skis.

O: [laughs] You're right, you're right, whatever was I thinking?

B: [laugh]

S: It was the hip thing, I don't know.

O: [while laughing] Sure.

S: But yeah, I mean, geez- how did if they road tripped to New York City…

O: Like, where- where were these other group that they're water skiing to- to New York?

S: Yes, and where did they start out from?

O: Florida!  They were on the beach, man!

S: [laughs]

O: Sunstreaker wanted to have a good time.

S: [sighs] Oh yeah, found some- found some people who were willing to have hot car washes.  I don't know if the- if the robots would be entertained by that but-

O: Probably not, but it is a funny thought.

S: Yeah, especially since at least three of them are super cars.

O: I mean, yeah, a lot of them are like that where they're like, very expensive cars. Cuz Knockout’s [from Transformers Prime] like that too, yeah, it’s just absurd.  Sorry.  Tangent!  I’m good at tangents today.

S: [laughs] We're both good at tangents.

O: [laughs]

S: Then in a two-second interlude, we see Optimus, Bumblebee, Ratchet, Ironhide, and Bluestreak reach New York via highway before we cut back to the underground Decepticon lair.

O: Where they appear to be refurbishing the Empire State Building... the entire thing.

S: Oh god, um, there are probably people in there who... probably wish they'd stopped drinking.

O: Pray everyone was on their lunch break, maybe?

S: Hopefully?

O: [laughs]

S: Either that, or they're just- I don't know, they're not having a good time, probably.

O: I can't imagine why they would.  I mean, this begs the question, is the electricity still connected?  Do they still have water?  Like, I don't know how the Constructicons would have managed that.  But- but I'm just saying, like, you know, a specific kind of person, if they still had working electricity, phone lines, fax lines, whatever, might just keep working.

S: I'm not sure that they would considering that I don't think those wires have a whole lot of, uh, give to them.

O: Allow me to put it this way, they probably shouldn't, but I also know what kind of show I'm talking about.

S: Yeah...

O: [laughs]

S: Laserbeak warns Megatron that the Autobots have arrived.

O: He's so off model, he's so off model, he’s so off model.

S: Yup.  It- it is your trial and tribulation Owls, for watching this episode.

O: Apparent- apparently, this episode just wants to hurt me.  Anyway, the Autobots are met by Soundwave and his cassettes as they arrive at Central Park.

S: Rumble and Soundwave each finish each other's sentences for a little bit.

O: Okay, well, possibly Frenzy says something in the middle too?  It shows him on the screen, but his mouth isn't moving, and so help me god even I can't tell Rumble and Frenzy’s voices apart.  It doesn't help that they're ALSO both voiced by Welker.  This is just one person saying a sentence in two to three silly voices isn't it?

S: Yep.

O: [snorts]

S: God, it reminds me of the thing that I just saw today about apparently there's an episode of Batman where basically all of the characters are voiced by Mark Hamill.

O: [laughs] Mark Hamill is to Batman what Frank Welker is to Transformers.  That sounds right, actually!  And like, there were I think- I think there were a lot more like other voice actors that did a bunch of voices in Transformers than in Batman, but still, it's a funny thought.

S: Yeah, but it was- I think the plot of that episode was Mark Hamill gets kidnapped.

O: OH YEAH!

S: Like, the voice actor, Mark Hamill-

O: Yeah. You know the Joker comes up with surprising frequency on our podcast, I just want to bring that up.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: Rumble and Frenzy then use their pile drivers to pound the ground for a bit and Ironhide just kind of keels over?

S: Ironhide just decided he was done for the day.

O: While all the animation in this episode is just terrible, wow, that fall is in a special place.

S: Yeah... Scavenger can sense Optimi, as he digs under Optimus from below.

O: But not before Optimus chucks Soundwave across the park.

S: [sharp intake of breath] And how does this even work?  Prime doesn't fall onto Scavenger he falls like, 40 stories and lands on his back in Long Haul's trailer.  And to, um, like, illustrate the scene, Scavenger was like, up on some sort of thing or whatever so that he could dig up to where Prime was and then suddenly when Prime falls down Scavenger's not there.  The thing he's on isn't there, but Long Haul and his trailer are significantly further down.

O: Yeah, like, he just falls 40 feet, or 40 stories, it’s fine!

S: Then Megatron walks over zaps Optimus with some kind of device and severs his motor relays.

O: So he zaps Optimus’ abs with a strangely dildo-y shaped object and now Prime can't move?

 S: Well technically, I think he calls it suspended animation but... pretty much, yes.

O: Just checking, okay. [laughs]

S: [sighs] Then Megatron flies up through the hole made by Scavenger and threatens to kill Optimus if the Autobots don't leave.  Then the Decepticons raise the *brand new* refurbished and updated Empire State building back to ground level and Megatron proclaims he is the leader of New Cybertron.

O: I mean at least that's a better name than last time he named something.  Although I- I have to give him credit, his fantastic threat to Optimus Prime?  To melt him down into paper clips.

S: Yeah, I mean, that is honestly kind of ignoble for Optimus.

O: [laughs]

S: To be turned into, you know, office supplies and honestly I want to know how- well- I think it- how Megatron knows what a paperclip is?

O: [laughs harder] Oh my god, does Cybertron have paperclips!?!  I mean-

S: Eh…

O: They don't even use paper most of the time!

S: I don't think they have trees.

O: Yeah, yeah, that's also true.

S: And paper would be very flimsy for them unless it was some sort of... unless they had an equivalent.

O: I'm just saying, who took Megatron to an office supply store?  This is what I want to know, why?

S: He obviously learned this when he learned what a guinea pig was.

O: [laughs] Yeeeeah.

S: And so, after this threat, um, New York City is being evacuated by both the Autobots and the humans.

O: How nice of the Decepticons to let them all orderly evacuate.

S: Uh.

O: But then Spike has an idea, and all the Autobots exit the highway.

S: That was an extremely convenient exit and I have to wonder who Megatron is going to rule in his city of New Cybertron.

O: It's just the Decepticons.  It's a bigger base.  But what was even funnier about that exit, is they were totally on a bridge so like that- that was a very convenient exit.

S: Yup.

O: And- and now back to, you know, underground, Megatron is standing between Optimus’ legs on Long Haul's truck bed with his Fusion Cannon aimed, ehem, downwards talking about his conquest.

S: [sharp intake of breath] Yeah, that's not awkward at all.

O: It's not awkward at all.  I'm also not exaggerating.

S: You're not.

O: [laughs]

S: Oh, Megatron then orders Hook to disassemble Prime.

O: Which Hook then begins... by pulling out a lightsaber.

S: A purple one, to you know, keep it Decepticon themed.

O : Of course!  Later, Long Haul dumps all the Optimus Prime parts in front of Megatron's feet.

S: [sighs] Megatron then picks up Optimus' head to gloat, which obviously he can't do if Prime is [un]conscious so he runs power through the head.  And this is just making- this is like the- one of the few things from the- that's consistent with the comics.

O: Ironically, yes.  Also, I think we meant unconscious.

S: We used the wrong word, he should have been unconscious.

O: [laughs]

S: Or, he can't do if Prime is unconscious, so let's run with that.

O: [laughs] Uh, for some reason, Optimus can control his limbs while his head is active.  So he has his dismembered forearms grab Megatron's legs and trip him.

S: Optimus has the weirdest ass powers.

O: Right!?!

S: That he can pull out of nowhere.

O: Right?  And then, Megs gets back up, tells the Constructicons they can do whatever the hell they want with the rest of Optimus’ body, but he's keeping the head.

S: Presumably, so we can put it on the metaphorical mantle.  I mean, god, this is basically the exact same thing that... well, actually I think it was Shockwave in the comics because-

O: I know Shockwave popped up at some point.

S: -his head, yeah.  His head was definitely separated from his body.

O: Elsewhere, Spike is uh, waste deep in some water?

S: Next to a ship.  He directs the Autobots into what looks like an open sewer drain and we discover that he's actually sitting on Bumblebee's head in the water.

O: So Bee's got those little horns on his head, it seems like it would not be so comfortable on the good ol’ keister.

S: Yeah…

O: But apparently- apparently Spike's okay with it.

S: I mean if he'd actually been drawn small enough that he could fit between the horns I don't think it would be so bad but it definitely looks like he's sitting on the horns.

O: [laughs] Right, like, that doesn't look comfortable.

S: Yeah.

O: So then Spike, Bee, Ratchet, Mirage, and Hound enter the sewer to go save Optimus.

S: I'm gonna call them team Health Hazard considering Spike was sitting in water that appears to be very near a sewer exit, or if it's not a sewer exit, some sort of storm drain exit.  And I mean, that's still not going to be great for his health.

O: Yeah.  Mirage scouts ahead of the group, turning invisible, leaving Hound to track him with his scanners as the rest of the group follows.

S: Scrapper is congratulating himself on the Constructions using Optimus’ remains um, extremely creatively as he touts um, off one of Prime's arms holding Prime's blaster.

O: They drive up and then we go back to team Health Hazard.  Ratchet complains about feeling like they're in a swamp.

S: How is there foliage down there!?! [sighs]

O: Through the magic of cartoons?

S: Considering the type of show this is, yes. [sighs] Hound says he's now picking up Optimus’ signal from behind them, and then Mirage reappears and points out the giant red, blue, and white alligator that is charging towards them.

O: With an Autobot logo clearly visible on its leg.

S: That they don't notice the Autobots are not very good at, uh…

O: Noticing things.

S: Yeah.

O: Very obvious things.

S: Yeahhhh.

O: They walk slowly away as Mirage covers them.

S: Hound expresses his confusion as to why his sensors are picking up Optimus.

O: Oh, come on guys!!!

S: The suspiciously colored alligator clearly has nothing to do with it, right?  Right?

O: Right, right, right, obviously not, that would be too obvious!  Um, Bee and Spike lead the alligator into an old subway train, and then the others send it down the track.

S: Somehow this train still has power.

O: Back topside, Mixmaster has- just shits girders.  Like, in vehicle mode, when Skywarp shoves a car into his mixing tank?

S: Mixmaster is a very good chemist.  Very good.

O: [while laughing] Obviously!

S: Starscream compliments Megatron for once.  Though obviously not to his face.

O: He likes what he's done with the place- or the city at least.

S: Yep.  In the Decepticon base, team Health Hazard finds Optimus’ head.

O: We get introduced to yet another random unit of measure, mechana-meters.

S: Pfft, we did not need another one.

O: No, we didn't, but we got another one anyway! [laughs]

S: [long groan]

O: You see what you did Transformers?  See what you did, you like- oh god, is it 40 years old?  You like, 30 something year old show, you broke Specs!

S: I think it's like, 35 years old considering that I think uh, [the eruption of] Mount St. Helens was in 1980.

O: Hmm, yeah.

S: Um, Ratchet runs power to Prime's head and Prime uses his telepathy to bring his legs to them.

O: I just want to know what his legs were even like- what were they a part of?  Did they just shove them in a closet?  I'm- especially considering what they did with the rest of him!

S: Yeah, I don't know, maybe Optimus Prime- oh god, maybe Megatron wanted his legs used as I don't know-

O: I don't want to know, I don't want to know.

S: [sighs] I don’t know.

O: But consid- go ahead.

S: Well, I was thinking like parts of a chair, or something?

O: [laughs] Yeah, that seems dumb enough to be a thing.  Of course, this is when they realize that alligator was made out of Prime parts.

S: And it has a name, the alligator-con.

O: Of course!

S: And next Hound, Mirage, and Ratchet are wrestling with the alligator, while Bee and Spike stand off to the side next to Prime's huge freaking legs, while primly holding Optimus’ head.

O: Wait.  Does this mean they carried the legs down here, or did Prime them- move them with telepathy like, the entire time?

S: I mean, it's anyone's guess, I guess?

O: [laughing while talking] They're so big!  Compared to everybody else.  [normal speaking voice] And then Prime is apparently able to subdue the beast with yet more mind waves!

S: Ratchet is able to mostly reassemble him except for the arm we saw Scrapper carting off earlier.  I mean, there were still parts left over so... what?

O: Red and blue parts even, they do not look like they were just random parts the Decepticons should have had lying around.

S: Well, unless it was left over from one of Megatron's um, toys?

O: Oh god no. [laughs]

S: Uh-huh.

O: I'm not going there, goodbye, goodbye.  Goodnight everybody! [laughs]

S: Uh-huh.  Optimus gives Mirage a side hug with his one arm and tells him to radio the others because Megatron is in for a shock.

O: Top side we see Bluestreak, Wheeljack, Sunstreaker, and Ironhide are walking around in the streets.

S: I'm calling this team Hot to Trot since, you know, they're out and about.

O: We've got Hot to Trot and team Health Hazard for those of you following at home.

S: And they see Prime's missing arm.  It is attached to a building acting as some sort of sentry gun.

O: In Decepticon HQ, Megatron is very unhappy about losing his toy, as he spies team Health Hazard in the monitor, you know, walking with Prime.

S: And then Prime's arm shoots into the screaming Autobots below.

O: [laughs] Soundwave just calmly mashes what we have to assume is the fire button like, repeatedly.

S: Yeah, oh god, someone's just using... using Optimus Prime's arm as a video game.

O: Yes! [laughs]

S: It's the most lifelike video game. [sighs]

O: [laughs]

S: And honestly, the Autobots seem like they're more afraid of the arm than the alligator, as they actually run away from the arm.

O: Yes, uh, we see Jazz in a shot for a second.

S: Hound and Bluestreak fall into a hole, where Rumble appears driving a subway train.

O: Before suddenly turning into Frenzy.  I mean, like, his color changes between shots.

S: Yeah, I mean whichever cassette this is, he looks like he's having a very good time.

O: Well, he is until Bluestreak and Hound explode the front of the train, and that apparently stops all momentum and they are saved.

S: What are physics to a children's tv show episode?

O: In the 80’s. [laughs]

S: Yeah.  Bee, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker are driving around, uh, before being suddenly attacked by taxis.

O: These decepticabs appear to be the Constructicons’ handiwork.

S: Bee, Sideswipe, and Sunstreaker gracefully leap over them in vehicle mode, before Prime mows the taxis over while in his own vehicle mode ,and then he takes out three Constructicons in their little firing stations for good measure.  Optimus arrives back in front of the Empire State Building and says it's time to, “Lend him a hand, and an arm as well!”

O: Oh Optimus, you and your dad jokes.

S: Prime and Ironhide scale the building to retrieve Optimus’ arm.

O: Along with Ratchet, but I think what more of note here is Ironhide’s got a grappling hook too!?!

S: Megatron orders an airstrike by the Seekers.

O: The Seekers are damaged, and Starscream calls the other two cowards before Sideswipe jumps into the air (with no visible sign of his pack) and grapples Starscream, while Starscream is in jet mode.

S: This sounds like it's um, jet judo on…

O: Steroids?

S: Yes, I couldn't remember the word.

O: And then Starscream ends up diving into the river as Sideswipe just flies off perfectly fine.

S: Well, I guess he had that um, jet pack.

O: That invisible jet pack? [laughs]

S: Yeah.  The Constructicons form Devastator and they attempt to step on Wheeljack before climbing up the uh, refurbished Empire State Building after the Autobots.

O: Bee and Spike infiltrate the control room where Soundwave and Megatron are.

S: Ah, they like to live dangerously.

O: Very dangerously, considering they keep throwing Spike (or Spike throws himself) into these situations.

S: Yeah.  Soundwave stands up and begins shouting, “Intruders!”

O: Megatron says they are, “Doomed!”

S: But is he going to take the uh, steps to make sure that they're doomed?  And I don't think he does.

O: I think he tries. [laughs]

S: Yeah.  Yeah, I mean, Spike insults him and then Megatron says something to the effect of, “You dare insult me, in my own command post!?!”

O: “You come into my house and-” [laughs]

S: I did not go out to have a good time.  I specifically stayed in, and I'm feeling so attacked right now!

O: [laughs] And then Spike and Bee like, run around the room and maneuver Megatron into shooting the command console, which deactivates Prime's arm.

S: Yeah.  And then Soundwave, in order to, you know, deal with this, sends the birbs after Spike and Bumblebee.  Presumably so he can attempt to I don't know, do damage control on the count- on the console?

O: Outside, Devastator grabs Prime, you know, like King Kong, and whacks Ratchet and Ironhide into the tower.  Wheeljack even starts talking about King Kong before sending in some remote controlled helicopters.  Uh, like, after Devastator.

S: I think Wheeljack just decided he was going to have fun with this.

O: I mean, that's fair.

S: I mean, did he just jerry-rig the helicopters, or did he go, and did he have them already prepared?

O: I’m really- it’s-

S: In some way.

O: It's up in the air which one.

S: Yeah, Ironhide and Ratchet meanwhile, shoot the floor out from beneath Soundwave and Megatron because they're, I guess, a floor above?  And so, Soundwave and Megatron end up falling past them and into another hole- er, through a hole in the floor.

O: Or- or they make a hole in the floor?  But it is so goofy looking, it's amazing.  We definitely have a gif we get to reblog, it's gonna be great. [laughs]

S: Yes, yes.  They just- Ironhide and Ratchet look so pleased with themselves.  I think they do a little handshake or maybe a thumbs up?

[It’s a handshake in case anyone was curious. ~Owls]

O: Something like that.  All I can say is quite frankly, that off model Megatron get- he deserves to be in that hole.

B: [laugh]

S: Yep, and so uh, Devastator is climbing up to the top of the tower, and then Prime uses mind powers to shoot- to supercharge his gun and shoot him.

O: Devastator falls, disassembling into the individual Constructicons as they flee.

S: I actually just want to ask how Optimus Prime managed to supercharge his gun when it's been his limbs that he's been controlling, but that’s-

O: I have no idea. [laughs]

S: -that's neither here nor there, because while the Constructicons flee, so do Soundwave and Megatron, they follow close behind them.

O: After the battle Ratchet reattaches Prime’s arm.

S: He probably feels pretty good about that, because Optimus says, “Just as it always was,” while squeaking horribly.

O: [laughs] And my biggest takeaway from this episode is that this really seems like a two-parter that they crammed all into one episode because I kid you not like, the entire ‘Megatron taking over New York part’ like, happens in like, under five minutes.  And I really feel like, probably it should have been two parts and the end of the first part would have been right after Optimus got kidnapped but- but no, no it's just like this everything happening in five minutes and then a relatively normally paced episode after that.  It was weird.

S: Yeah.

O:  Anyway, join us next time for episode 35: Desertion of the Dinobots, Part 1.  And then Specs has some fanfics for today.

S: Yeah, we have some fanfic recs.  The first is, “The Return of the Revenge of the Son of the City of Steel,” by WaywardInsecticon, and it is actually a script format parody of this episode.

O: [laughs]

S: And I thought it was just very fitting for it like, it's funny, it's silly.

O: Very!

S: It is, it is.  It's based on the G1 cartoon, it's rated T, it's Gen, there's no pairings, and it's a G1 cast.  And in summary, “It's script format.  What happens when the dreadful episode City of Steel goes north?  You get this thing.”

O: [laughs]

S: And it's a City of Steel parody, and it's a one shot.  And the second fic is, “Five Hangovers and a Trumpet,” by KoiLungfish.  Also a G1 cartoon based fic, it's rated T, Gen, none, and the characters are the Constructicons.  And in summary, “The aftermath of a Constructicon party can be a messy place,” and character/theme here is the Constructicons.  Considering that the Constructicons were such a big part of be-

O: Everything here? [laughs]

S: Yes, yes, the plan to refurbish New York.

O: And refurbish Optimus Prime while they were at it.

S: Yep.

O: [laughs]

S: Also a one shot.

O: This one sounds like so much fun like that title alone just sounds glorious, “Five Hangovers and a Trumpet.”

S: Mm-hm, it's- it's fun, it's one that I remember reading like, back when it was first published and just... it's fun.

O: It sounds fun, I can't wait to read this one myself.

S: And that about wraps it up for us today.  Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few.  And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, or Youtube, or AO3!  Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: And I’m Owls.

S: Toodles

[Outro Music]

*To my understanding this was due to Paris running out of room for their dead and having this massive area under the city that was essentially empty that they realized they could use.  The catacombs themselves only take up a small portion of these old abandoned mines.  Many of which still exist under Paris, but after the 1774 disaster there was a massive undertaking to chart and inspect these old quarries and reinforce them to make sure they remained stable.  (At least under public buildings and roads.)  Sink holes still pop up from uncharted mines with some amount of frequency in Paris.

Mines of Paris

Redevelop Subterranean Paris

Bonus: I got sidetracked, but I found it interesting, and somewhat relevant, so here it is.  Basically, yes, sinkholes can and do happen in larger cities, though it seems more common to form because of a water or sewage line break than from sitting atop large empty caverns.

How Do Sinkholes Form?

~Owls

[ourmrmel]

Mel Feller Discusses Habits of Productive and Successful People by Mel Feller

Mel Feller Discusses Habits of Productive and Successful People by Mel Feller

In my work as a business and executive coach, I have found that nobody wants to procrastinate, no one wants to feel stressed, no one wants to get distracted, and no one certainly wants to live in mediocrity.   In other words, I found that virtually everyone wants to be productive, to achieve the goals they have set out to accomplish, to live their dreams, and to achieve outstanding success in life no matter their definition of success.

 It is easy to say that you want to live a productive life, to work on productive tasks, and to produce amazing results in life. However, the truth is that the execution of accomplishment is difficult.

 However, there is a small group, percentage of people, who are able to do it. They strive to make their days industrious, they get things done, and they are extremely successful. It appears that successful people like Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, Jack Dorsey, Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, and more, seem to understand how to stay productive regardless of whatever happens.

 Therefore, I am convinced that we should learn from these amazing individuals. We should examine their writings, follow their success and find out what they do that we do not do.

 In addition, here are several habits of these productive people and their habits of which I feel we should espouse.

 Make a list

Richard Branson, the billionaire who started Virgin Group indicates that his biggest secret to success is a to-do list.  In one of Virgin’s blog post, Branson shared his list from his 1972 diary, where he wrote down the things that he wanted to achieve as a 22-year-old young man.

 Here is what he wrote down:

Learn to fly

Look after me, you, boat

Entertain everybody with me

Invite nice people back

Start getting the small house together at The Manor

Start buying odds and sods for The Manor

Work with me on projects/sort me out

More shops to be found

As we all know, Branson has become a super successful entrepreneur running multiple businesses around the world. Moreover, he has dedicated a huge percentage of his success to his habit of writing lists on a daily basis.

  “I’ve often written about my love of writing lists – and this one shows I’ve been at it since the very beginning. Lists not only provide great structure for getting things done, but they also help us to set goals and achieve our dreams.”

 Sir Richard Branson is precisely correct. You can have a list for almost anything. You can create a list of all the things that you want to achieve in your life. You can also create a list of to-dos in your demanding day.  However, whatever you put down into paper, you make it more tangible and you are telling yourself that it is important, and that is why you write it down.

 Thus, make this your productive habit. You can use your phone to record everything or do it the Branson-way, write down everything on a notepad or business journal and carry it everywhere you go.

 Make Lists:

 You can make lists for almost everything:

 Create a list of all the things that you want to achieve in life. In other words, put all your goals into a bucket list. Write them down and include a deadline.

 Create a daily to-do list. If you want to be productive, you must identify the tasks that you need to complete each day. Thus, create your daily to-do list so that you will not forget the things that must be done.

 Plan and prepare your day, week, month, and year. Plan your day the night before.  In fact if you can plan your goals out from a five year perspective going to a daily list of goals.  It is hard but it can be done.

 Reflect on life

 In commencement speech at the Stanford University, the man who started Apple, Steve Jobs, told the students there that he asked himself a simple but powerful question to reflect on his life each day.

 This was what he said: “When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

 We have to ask the question, how can you tell if what you do each day is moving you forward or backwards, if you do not reflect or review your results each day?  The best example I can give is  the only way to know if you have lost some weights is to stand on the scale and measure your weight daily.

 Moreover, this same principle applies in our life. If you want to be productive, you must review and reflect on your life.  Like what Jobs did, he asked himself that one question each morning so that he knew if he was moving in the right direction or not.  I feel that too many of us take life for granted and do not reflect on what we do each day.

 I love what Robin Sharma says:  “Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.”

 Therefore, if you want to move forward, then produce the right results, and make progress in reaching your goals, by reviewing and reflecting on your life.

 Always do a self-check in order to understand your progress. In addition, if you are not moving forward, you will quickly know that something is not accurate and you must make a change.

 Review and Reflect on Life:

 Review your goals on a daily or weekly basis. I would suggest daily.  Do not wait to do a review only by year-end because by then, it will be too late.  No change of course can be implemented.

 Reflect on your life on a regular basis. Take some time to think about the future that you want, and ask yourself if what you do each day is actually moving you forward.

 Wake up earlier than others do.

One of the most common habits of productive people is waking up early and starting the day without interruptions.

 “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” – Benjamin Franklin

 This article from Business Insider shares a list of 21 successful people who wake up incredibly early.

 Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple wakes up as early as 3:45AM each morning, does email for an hour, stealing a march on those lazy East Coasters three time zones ahead of him, then goes to the gym, then Starbucks (for more e-mail), then work.

PepsiCo CEO, Indra Nooyi is in the office by 7AM every workday. In addition, she tells Fortune that “they say sleep is a gift that God gives you … that’s one gift I was never given.”

Jack Dorsey, Twitter CEO wakes up around 5:30AM to meditate and jog for 6 miles each day.

Kevin O’Leary, the Shark Tank investor says that he wakes up at 5:45AM and checks the European and Asian markets every day.

Richard Branson wakes up at about 5:45AM each day in his private island too. He uses those early hours to exercise, build relationships with his family, and get a good breakfast before he gets to work.

 The bottom line is that waking up early can make you become more productive because you get a head start at a time when most people are still sleeping.

 Wake Up Early Tips:

 If you want to wake up early, then go to bed early. Most people do not go to sleep early and this is why they do not have the energy the next day.

 In going to bed early and waking up early, I would suggest that you do it gradually. You do not have to wake up at 5AM tomorrow if you have been used to getting up at 7AM every day. You can change your lifestyle, not drastically, but gradually. Try to wake up 15 or 30 minutes earlier than usual, maintain it, and then increase that over a period.

 Focus on the most important

 Productive people are productive because they focus on getting the most important tasks done first, not just any task. Moreover, you should emulate doing the same thing.  Prioritize your to-do list. Do not just work on the list according to what you have written down, instead, prioritize the tasks according to their importance and complete the most result-yielding task.

 Tim Ferris, the best-selling author of The 4-Hour Workweek says it wisely:  “If you don’t have time, the truth is, you don’t have priorities. Think harder, don’t work harder.”

 In other words, not all tasks are equal. You must focus on getting the work that gets you the most results if you truly want to be productive. Remember, being busy does not mean that you are being productive.  This is why you should follow the Pareto’s 80/20 Principle. Spend your time working on the 20% tasks that give you 80% work and not the other way round.

 Mel Feller Tip:  How do you deal with all your tasks and to-dos? A good approach is to use the Eisenhower Matrix.  You list everything that you must complete, and then you place the tasks into the Eisenhower Matrix to identify their importance.

 Focus on the High-Impact Work:

 Always prioritize. Choose to work on tasks that give you the most impact. Follow the Pareto’s Rule to make yourself productive and effective.

 Eliminate distraction and say no in a nice way to reject things or people that are not moving you forward. We only have 24 hours a day and we cannot spend our time on whatever and whomever comes to us. Thus, we must be selective.

 We all want to live a full, happy and satisfied life? For some of us, it need not be a long life as long as it has been a fulfilling life of accomplishments, happiness and no remorse. However, how many of us actually go on to experience that individually? It sometimes sounds more like a pipe dream a fantasy rather than certainty. However, if you will follow these tips and habits, they will propel you forward.

 Mel Feller – Personal Development, Business, Executive, Internet and Real Estate Investments Coach/Mentor and Business Owner

 Mel Feller was a senior staffer for over 5 years with both United States Senator Jake Garn and The Senate Banking and Finance Committee.

 Mel Feller is a speaker at entrepreneurial forums training business professionals on marketing strategies and the “Secrets of Online Marketing”. He provides consulting services on all aspects of business including organizational performance, sales and marketing strategies, employee productivity and retention, successful solution implementation, technology leverage and customer service in all business and fields.

 Mel Feller's areas of technology expertise include emails and social media, solution development discipline and methodology, business process leads and project management.

 Mel Feller has twenty-five years’ experience with companies, nonprofits and individuals in the research and writing of both government and private grants.

 In addition to his regular consulting and management responsibilities, Mel Feller was published in the Top 100 Mentors; he has published two books on "Creative Real Estate Financing" and “Multiple Secrets to Success”, and presented numerous executive lectures for Fortune 500 corporations on “leadership and business practices”.

Visit him at www.melfeller.com and www.melfellersuccessstories.com

 Mel Feller’s dynamic presence, instinctive strategic vision, and creative thinking produce effective, sustainable bottom-line results for his clients. His “Can Do” attitude generates confidence in his executive coaching clients and strategic consulting corporate clients. Throughout Mel Feller’s career, he has increased the profitability of nearly every organization with which he has worked.

 Mel Feller has a unique ability to relate to his clients because he came from The United States Senate, where Mel was the Chief of Staff for a United States Senator and was always meeting with prominent business people or politicians.  His main love was dealing with constituents that were the grass root voters!  Since founding Coaching For Success 360 In 1989, he has effectively translated that experience into results for his clients. He focuses on separating daily distractions from the real issues in order to put the executive and/or business on the right path to grow and prosper. Results are immediate, growth sustainable, and profitability long-term.

 Dozens of Mel Feller’s clients have been on Inc.’s 500/5000 list and many have been named as a “Best Places To Work.

Using Mel Feller’s intuitive, systematic approach, and our proven strategic and tactical tools, we help you plan for profit.

 Mel Feller believes that what gets measured is improved. Therefore, he is continually developing processes and systems that allow you to easily measure, manage and maintain a highly profitable business.

 Mel Feller is  ready to help you increase your sales, trim and manage your operating costs and see your profits soar and/or leverage your time for Business or Real Estate!

  “Truth telling, honesty, and candor: I loved you Mel Feller! You have so much energy and knowledge! I truly hope I get another opportunity to be coached by you. I see myself a little clearer now, and it’s not so bad.”

Lisa Mathews

 “Mel Feller you added more value than we can possibly see right now. Mel Feller, you are warm, inviting, and accommodating. Thank you for coming alongside us in this transition!”

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“Mel Feller the best education session that we have attended in many years! Thank you so much — I am very excited to put everything you have taught us into practice!”

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 “Mr. Mel Feller, Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving a marvelous keynote at our Symposium! While we have not yet collected the official feedback, the unofficial feedback was that You Were a Hit! I heard nothing but compliments regarding your presentations. Thank you for making such a positive impact on our attendees! ”

Lyle Cunningham VP

 "Mel Feller uses his humor, compassion, and direct nature to help bring out the best in me. Mel Feller is committed to helping me live...I mean, really live, life to its fullest."

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 Mel Feller Links

 https://www.instagram.com/mel.feller  

 https://ourmrmel.tumblr.com/  

 https://www.pinterest.com/cfs360/  

 https://twitter.com/melfeller

 https://wordpress.com/page/melfellerinternetbusinessinnovations.wordpress.com  

 https://dribbble.com/melfeller  

 https://biggerpockets.com/forums/79/topics/49008-larry-goins-bootcamp  

 https://txbusinessdb.com/p/mel-feller  

 https://xindex.com/c/12031660488/mel-feller-financial-services-group-inc  

 https://buzzfile.com/business/Coaching-For-Success-940-569-9260  

 https://melfellerrealestateinnovations.wordpress.com  

 https://myspace.com/mfcfs360  

 https://goodreads.com/user/show/86266194-mel-feller  

 https://mfcfs.contently.com  

 https://alignable.com/wichita-falls-tx/coaching-for-success-360  

 https://quora.com/profile/Mel-Feller  

 https://about.me/melfeller  

 https://independent.academia.edu/MelFeller  

 https://medium.com/@mfcfs360  

 https://melfellerentrepreneurialideas.wordpress.com  

 https://about.me/melfeller  

 https://thecoachingoffice.com  

 https://quora.com/profile/Mel-Feller  

 https://linkedin.com/pulse/reflections-journaling-mel-feller-mel-feller  

 https://creonline.com/finally-my-first-deal  

 https://etrainingguide.com  

 https://reitips.com/open-letter  

 https://thecoachingoffice.com/testimonials.html  

 https://fortunebuilders.com/student-success-old/testimonials/page/9  

 https://agrandpaslove.blogspot.com  

 https://plus.google.com/u/0  

 https://youtube.com/channel/UCk_zDXJgadnWwmab0PhaIkQ/videos  

 https://linkedin.com/in/mel-feller  

 https://challengesinlife.com  

 https://melfellersuccessstories.com  

 https://melfeller.com  

 https://www.slideshare.net/MelFeller

[miamibeerscene]

Inside Atlanta’s New Beer Hangout: Monday Night Brewing’s Garage

Monday Night Brewing’s Garage opens as a second location in Atlanta. (Credit: Ale Sharpton)

November 27, 2017

It’s just a little past 2 p.m. on a clement October Friday in Southwest Atlanta, and the newest addition to its beer scene—Monday Night Brewing’s Garage, a facility dedicated to sour and barrel-aging beers—is evidently becoming one of the area’s popular chill spots to spark off the weekend.

It’s the second addition to Monday Night’s family; its original brewing headquarters opened in West Midtown six years prior. Compared to its grandiose kickoff two Saturdays ago hosting more than 1,500 people gawking at the complex’s 22,000 square feet unveiling three stainless tanks, two foeders, a koelschip called the Crunkship, chandelier lighting, three taprooms, and beloved native ATL rap group The Nappy Roots rocking the crowd outdoors, the Garage’s current lunchtime serenity would’ve been virtually unimaginable.

Signature glassware at Monday Night Brewing’s Garage, the new sour facility in Atlanta. (Credit: Ale Sharpton)

Visitors mostly in their 20s are sitting at tables scattered throughout the building’s expansive foyer. They are either splitting a pizza from a nearby shop, in a group playing the “Heads Up” charades game yelling clues at someone holding a smartphone to their forehead, or individually pounding away on laptops with headphones; an eclectic mix of lounge grooves, 80s hits and hip-hop from its “Golden Era” serves as the soundtrack for everyone else. The common denominator is they all have the Garage’s signature stemmed glassware containing brews of various hues and styles to help usher in the weekend.

(READ: The Sour Beer Pickle in American Brewing)

At the “Pegboard” taproom bar in the front stands Monday Night co-founder and CMO Jonathan Baker; he is lightheartedly titled “the reasonably qualified creative guy” on the company’s website who handles everything from marketing and branding to social media. Obediently sitting at his side is Eden, a black Labrador and pit bull mix who Jonathan affectionately refers to as literally his “Road Dog”; she accompanies him on constant commutes to both Monday Night locations every day.

Clad in faded jeans, vintage Nikes, and a hoodie boasting a vibrant galactic pattern, Jonathan, 34, adjusts his glasses and studies the list of brews available before making his selection. Laughing, he admits that the last two weeks have been so chaotic that he doesn’t even know what’s currently on tap. Settling on the very popular Han Brolo—an American pale ale at 4.7% ABV—because it’s “super crushable” he says, Jonathan thanks the pourer, and then heads to the next tap station called the “Sticker Taproom Bar” due to all the beer-themed adhesives decorating its base. Eden follows of course.

After making a quick glance at the popular Netflix series “Stranger Things” projected on a white wall adorned with sculpted busts of horned animals, flying predators and dinosaurs to simply “trip people out” he laughs, Jonathan is ready to field questions on Monday Night’s amazing story leading to the Garage.

Monday Night Brewing’s Jonathan Baker thumbs through the beer list at the Garage. (Credit: Ale Sharpton)

Q: Let’s go back to the beginning of Monday Night Brewing. How did it get started and who did you conceptualize it with?

Jonathan: I was in a Bible study with Jeff [Heck] and Joel [Iverson] along with some other guys. It started at Joel’s house first and then Jeff’s for five years; the studies began at 6 a.m. on Fridays for an hour and half each session. Jeff and Joel had both been gifted with homebrewing kits, and the Bible study decided to fire one up on a Monday night at Joel’s house back in 2006. We loved brewing and the community of beer so much that we made our Monday night brew sessions a weekly thing. About three months in, I proposed turning it into a business and it blossomed from there.

We put in as much of our own money as we had. When that ran out—and it ran out quickly—we turned to friends and family, and also applied for an SBA [Small Business] loan.

(BEER TRAVEL: Plan Your Next Beercation)

Q: What were the most difficult obstacles for opening the brewery and why did you pick Atlanta’s Westside?

Jonathan: Understanding the legalities of making and selling beer was one of the biggest obstacles we faced opening a brewery. We knew nothing about the three-tier system, the politics of getting your beer on draft, and how many layers of red tape there are. We spent 18 months simply interviewing and choosing a wholesaler partner for our home market. We opened up our original location on the Westside, a part of town where all three of us had recently moved. This area of town has become a great cultural boon to the city with amazing art, music, and food options. Our brewery is right in the thick of it with ample parking and an amazing patio as well.

Q: Name the first beers you came out with at the original brewery and why those?

Jonathan: We launched with Eye Patch Ale and Drafty Kilt. Eye Patch was a labor of love for us; it’s an English-style IPA that we brewed 24 different ways over the course of five years tweaking and perfecting.

Drafty Kilt was our wild card. There weren’t any breweries in the Southeast brewing a year-round Scotch ale, and very few in the U.S. Drafty Kilt is a toasty Scotch ale with a little Cherrywood-smoked malt and it really helped define us as a brewery in those early days. It’s also won some awards, including a medal at the World Beer Cup. [Monday Night recently won the Silver Medal in the Chocolate Beer category for Tears of My Enemies and a Bronze Medal in the Other Strong Beers category at the 2017 Great American Beer Festival as well.]

(LEARN: How to Choose the Right Glass for Your Beer)

Q: Discuss how the barrel aging began at the original brewery and how that led to the talks about opening the Garage.

Monday Night Brewing’s Garage has three barrel-aging rooms. (Credit: Ale Sharpton)

Jonathan: Our barrel-aging program began with a bourbon barrel version of Drafty Kilt, which actually won a gold at the Great American Beer Festival. It was then that we realized we were on to something. Our barrel program director, Peter Kiley, is a total artist when it comes to barrel aging. He came from winemaking, so he has a knack for working with barrels through that experience. We won a Silver at the World Beer Cup for another barrel-aged creation, Laissez-Faire, a Cabernet barrel-aged wheat wine; from there we decided we needed to expand our barrel program. We really wanted to start getting into sours, which spurred us to start looking off-site for room. Once we toured what is now the Garage, we knew we had something special for our second location. It had such a cool vibe, the potential to be an integral part of the community surrounding it, and frontage to the BeltLine. [The BeltLine is a developing multi-use trail replacing a former rail line going through Atlanta.]

Q: Talk more about the Garage’s concept? Also, why did you pick the West End and how did you get the support from the surrounding community?

Jonathan: It took us about a year from touring the Garage the first time to opening its doors; it was pretty quick, honestly. The name, just like Monday Night, is a reflection of who we are. Peter came up with the ‘Garage’ name over a brainstorming session and some brews one night and it made perfect sense since we homebrewed out of the garage for years.

As for the location, we opened the Garage in the West End to build on these two ideas: community and experimentation. Southwest Atlanta is home to so many vibrant and growing neighborhoods, but it has been a craft beer desert for a while. We wanted to help change that and give these neighborhoods a physical space for them to hang out in. This is an underserved part of the city and part of our mission is to also deepen human relationships. We wanted to have a building and a beverage that pulls people together. That is meaningful to us.

(VISIT: Find a Georgia Brewery)

Q: Talk about what you plan to brew here, the Crunkship, and your future plans.

Jonathan: The Garage is home to Georgia’s first koelschip affectionally named the Crunkship. It is vented to the outside where we have planted an urban orchard replete with fruits like apples, pears, persimmons, grapes, pineapple, guava, cherries, blueberries, strawberries, and others. We’ll be able to pipe in all the air congregating around these plants to ferment. We’ll also be able to use these fruits in the production of our beers.

We have three barrel-aging rooms with different climate controls so that we can operate their humidity and temperature levels independently. We have a primary fermentation room, a souring room and a clean barrel room. In the main production area, we’ve installed some new stainless-steel tanks in addition to two foeders with more to come. We also moved our bottling line down from our original brewery and are in the process of installing a lab.

We have some pretty crazy stuff planned for the future, but what we’re doing here at the Garage is what we call “slow beer.” We want to combine traditional methods of brewing and aging with new ideas and processes. Some of these beers will take years to complete, so I think you’ll really see us hit our stride around 2020. That’s not to say we won’t be putting out good beers until then; we already have some pretty fun stuff in barrels over there, with more on the way.

Dennis Malcolm Byron (aka Ale Sharpton)Author Website

Dennis Malcolm Byron, a.k.a. Ale Sharpton, is a world-renowned beer authority, award-winning journalist, blogger (AleSharpton.com), photographer, event host and gourmand. He has contributed to more than 20 magazines and numerous websites, and passionately travels the globe to cover what he terms the world’s best beverage. Although a native New Yorker and alumnus of Cornell University, he proudly calls Atlanta his home. Globetrot with him on Twitter and Instagram. Read more by this author

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