#ALSO I LITERALLY TYPED THIS ON MY PHONE SO IF U SEE A FUCKING TYPO OR A SPELLING ERROR WELL OK IM SORRY IM NOT PERFECT OK

[thickenmyblood]

what i like about this post (other than, obviously, the great meta and analysis and commentary on the story) is the disclaimer at the very top that explains what i thought would be obvious to anyone reading the fic. the story is meant to make you think and prod at your own life, but it's not a step by step guide on how to do or think anything. like . . . when did we start taking fiction so literally?

now, onto the main course:

1. Has Laurent engaged in abusive behaviors?

i tried to explain this before when i was asked about it, but ofc you've been way better with your words than i was. here is my reply to a similar comment.

now. . . you're absolutely correct! we are shown and told and it is EXPLICITLY discussed in the fic that laurent has been abusive. having said this:

2. If so, do those abusive behaviors necessarily indicate that he is and will always be an abuser?

(...) we have several reasons to believe that Laurent’s abusive behavior is the product of particular circumstances rather than a generalized personality dysfunction.

yes! i have tried to show this again and again in the fic. laurent has self awareness, laurent goes to therapy, laurent knows that some of the things he has said and done to damen are bad.

Damen’s palm is numb around the glass. “Why were you angry?” ���Nicaise.” “Justified,” Damen says. “And the rest of it?” Laurent is facing him again. “Paschal says I have a tendency to expect the worst from everyone. Especially you. You’d make comments, and I’d think you were being cruel instead of…” “Instead of what? Ignorant?”

a lot of what could fall under the category of "laurent's abuse" are reactions that could have been prevented had BOTH of them been willing to communicate better. damen made awful comments about laurent's mental health, laurent taking medication, laurent's coping mechanism, BECAUSE damen didn't know better, because he didn't even know they were coping mechanisms in the first place... take, for example, how he remembers vaguely that laurent placed a lot of importance into locks and privacy but he DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHY!:

I’m sorry, Damen wants to say, knows it is the wrong thing, doesn’t say it. He looks back through years of fuzz and static and blurred conversations to find the one they had when Laurent was apartment hunting. Locks are non-negotiable, he’d said. Damen’s reply had been fun and—no, irked. Or maybe we should teach Nicaise to knock. 

time and time again he sees laurent's trauma responses and coping mechanisms and misinterprets them. another example is laurent wearing auguste's clothes (obviously a source of comfort):

He doesn’t know what the worst thing Laurent has ever done to him is. Their fights weren’t always loud or foreseeable, and they didn’t always revolve around Nicaise. Once, Damen made the mistake of making a bad joke to him around the second week of September. He had come home to Laurent wearing clothes that didn’t fit him, and Damen hadn’t thought before kissing him and tugging on the too-long sleeves of his cardigan. Been busy at the thrift shop, huh? Trying to audition for Oedipus in Nicaise’s play?  He hadn’t known it was Auguste’s, or why it looked the way it did, or why Laurent had chosen that day in particular to wear it. Laurent’s reply had involved Kastor, and his father, and other things time has mercifully erased from Damen’s memory. Laurent’s reply had left Damen locked in the bathroom, taking deep breaths in front of the mirror.

i feel like this quote is a good choice because it shows three things that are KEY to understanding their pre-break up dynamic. 1. their absolute lack of communication and vulnerability (NOT saying omg abuse victims have to tell their partners EVERY LITTLE THING they ever went through) 2. how laurent misinterprets damen's intentions and damen misinterprets laurent's anger. 3. laurent's abuse and the consequences of it: he says something that hurts damen, and that is not okay, and at no point does the fic say that's FINE.

3. If not, what evidence do we have that HIUH Laurent can and will stop engaging in abusive behaviors?

i think your reply to this questions explained it all PERFECTLY. laurent is capable of having healthy relationships with other people. laurent is trying time and time again. laurent apologizes. laurent is worried that even though he has tried to change, that he has tried to be better, maybe he's not better at all. he worries and talks about with ancel in the scene you quoted. he has a conscience. he feels bad when he hurts damen and tries NOT TO DO IT!!! he tries not to engage in abusive behaviors as the fic unravels. does he always succeed? no! he does call damen stupid on separate occassions and i believe i don't need to explain WHY he goes back to that behavior. it's not easy to stop doing something you've always done to protect yourself.

4. If HIUH Laurent stops engaging in abusive behaviors, what reasons, if any, does HIUH Damen have to return to the relationship despite past abuse?

100% agree with EVERYTHING you said. there are so many wrong reasons for them to get back together. so many people are rooting against them getting back together, too! (neo at times and nikandros always). they try and fail BECAUSE they are not honest and keep trying to cut to the nice, happy bits without actually doing the hard, grinding work that it takes to build something new and better.

damen knows laurent and he sees the change in him. he acknowledges them. he loves laurent not just because of love bombing, not because laurent gaslit him into a relationship, not because laurent's hot and blonde and who cares if he's mean, then? no!!!!!! NO!!!!! he loves laurent for the person he KNOWS laurent is, but also for the person he knows laurent CAN BE. love expands your vision. love lets you see the future. he sees laurent in ways so many others don't and that is what drags him back time and time again. like in the trilogy, the traits damen loves in laurent have to do with his loyalty, his sense of duty, his endurance, his patience.

people who read this fic and expected a black and white experience are going to be terribly disappointed. if you read the story and came out of it thinking i condone abuse, that i think you can change your partner out of being abusive with the power of love... you're not getting it. these abusive behaviors are so specific and circumstancial that you can't read them and think "oh, she's talking about all the wife beating men out there!!!" . . . obviously i'm not. i'm not talking about narc partners. i'm not talking about people who actively enjoy being cruel and making the people in their lives suffer. you have to know this, or maybe your reading comprehension skills are not there yet. or maybe i'm bad at writing, which is also a possibility.

this issue is very personal and interesting to me. how can you condemn a narrative that shows you growth and change are possible, if not the ONLY ways out of suffering? how can you think no one is ever allowed to change? have YOU never made mistakes? are you naive enough to think there isn't someone out there whom you've hurt so profoundly (even without meaning to, even with all your excuses and justifications) that when asked about you goes on a mental rant of how YOU exhibited these abusive traits? is punitive justice the only thing that interests you?

A. Is an HIUH Laurent who harms Damen through abusive behavior mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

you said it perfectly and i'll just sum it up with girl he had damen whipped. get out of here.

B. Is an HIUH Damen who chooses to be with Laurent despite past abuse mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

exactly. isn't this what LITERALLY HAPPENS IN THE BOOKS? damen forgives him. DAMEN FORGIVES HIM. damen understands. LAURENT FORGIVES HIM TOO. HAVE NONE OF Y'ALL READ THE FUCKING BOOKS AJBKSFBDSBKJB

once again super sorry for the late reply but this post is PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for taking the time to read my stuff and write posts like this. it def makes me feel better about spending the last three years of my life on this project lol.

The questions of Laurent’s being and behavior…

I have been informed, via @thickenmyblood’s asks (since mine were apparently not set to accept anonymous asks – which I have now changed) that my opinion about HIUH Laurent’s character is incorrect. I have been informed that he’s abusive.

My PhD isn’t in English (though it is in the humanities), but my wife was an English major and she has often told me that interpretations aren’t right or wrong, but they are stronger or weaker in the sense that they are supported by the text.

So, let’s go…

First things first. Let me be clear about the following:

The question of whether or not Laurent is abusive in this piece of fanfiction has no bearing whatsoever on whether any person you know in real life is abusive.

Similarly, any arguments that Laurent can change or that Laurent deserves a second chance have no bearing whatsoever on whether any person you know in real life can change or deserves a second chance.

Neither HIUH nor any fic should be taken as a life advice manual. Just because there are therapists in this fic does not mean that @thickenmyblood is a mental health professional or your therapist.

I am also not a therapist, nor am I trying to give you life advice when I speak of my enjoyment of HIUH.

But if I were to give you life advice, it would be this: If a piece of fanfiction makes you so angry that you feel the need to send abusive anonymous comments to the author and/or ask that author to pass on your comment “correcting” the opinion of a reader writing about that story, you should probably stop reading that fic. It is clearly not good for you. Metaphorically speaking, you are in an abusive relationship with that fic and you should end it. Write the story off and move on.

Okay, that said, the question of whether Laurent is abusive in HIUH is probably more of a series of questions:

Has HIUH Laurent engaged in abusive behaviors?

If so, do those abusive behaviors necessarily indicate that he is and will always be an abuser?

If not, what evidence do we have that HIUH Laurent can and will stop engaging in abusive behaviors?

If HIUH Laurent stops engaging in abusive behaviors, what reasons, if any, does HIUH Damen have to return to the relationship despite past abuse?

BONUS:

A. Is an HIUH Laurent who harms Damen through abusive behavior mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

B. Is an HIUH Damen who chooses to be with Laurent despite past abuse mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

1. Has Laurent engaged in abusive behaviors?

Yes. Although we are limited by a potentially unreliable narrator (Damen), who does not believe Laurent is abusive, we are clearly and intentionally both told and shown in the text that Laurent has engaged in abusive behavior. We are told when Neo explains as much to a skeptical Damen:

“Then you must know I’m only trying to get a feeling on how educated you are on the subject of abuse between romantic partners.” “But why ? I just told you Laurent and I never—” “Do you know what emotional abuse looks like, Damen?” “Yes.” “Give me a definition.” It’s hot in the room, all of the sudden. “It’s… making someone. Feel bad.” “It’s consistent and repeated humiliation,” Neo says. “Gaslighting. Manipulation. Verbal abuse can sometimes overlap with this. Have you ever experienced this while in your relationship with Laurent?” “We weren’t abusive.” “Did you insult each other?” “No,” Damen says. It was so long ago, it was a lifetime back. He can’t remember. “It’s—not like that. Humiliation? We never—” “You’ve said that sometimes Laurent made you feel as though the things you were feeling were inadequate.” You’re being a fucking idiot, Laurent had said about the pink sweatshirt. “What if he was right?”  “It’s never right to invalidate your partner’s feelings.” “We weren’t abusive.” “Damen,” Neo says, the soft caress before a blow. “What if we think about it from—” “There’s nothing to think about. I’m telling you, it wasn’t like that. How the fuck did you get to that conclusion? Because I complained about us arguing?” Neo ruffles his notes. “Contempt. Shame. Hurt. That’s what abusers thrive on. There’s quite a lot of those things in here.” “Laurent’s not an abuser,” Damen snaps. “Maybe not, but he grew up with one, didn’t he? These are learned traits.” Damen folds forward as though to vomit. That’s—He’s made a mistake. They argued, they yelled, they said things they didn’t mean, but they never hit each other or threw cutlery at each other’s heads. They went to bed angry, and Damen slept on the couch, and there would be rolling eyes and huffs and annoyance in the following days, but that’s not—Laurent is not— You’re sweet, Damen had said, hand to Laurent’s cheek. A sweetheart. He remembers meaning it, remembers Laurent not liking it. He also remembers Laurent’s sweetness, scarcer in the end and cloying in the beginning. Breakfast in bed, letting Damen pick what show to watch, giving up half his trail mix bag because he knew Damen liked the dried fruit pieces most. You’ll do great, you always do great. A protein shake prepped and ready to go, peace and quiet the nights before important court days. But also bigger things, biggest things. There was—and sharing a bed, and curling up under Damen to read, and letting Damen carry Nicaise up the stairs, and holding his hand under the table as firm functions, and kissing just to kiss, just because, just— He’s explained Laurent wrong.

And we are shown in the moments when Damen and Laurent talk and Damen expects a belittling response from Laurent:

“There are,” Laurent starts, stops. Starts again, “I didn’t.” He has both elbows on the table, which he used to despise. Tables are for cutlery and food, not limbs. Something about the way he rubs at the skin under his eyes makes Damen’s stomach cower as if expecting a blow. “Agnes recommended it months before you—came back. It wasn’t my idea.”

“I met him?” For once, Laurent doesn’t mock him for his question. “It was at that school play I couldn’t go to. The one Nicaise got that huge part in.”

“I want to know when the twenty-four hours are up,” Damen says, loudly, too loudly, “so we can go to the police station and report him missing. For fuck’s sake, Laurent, will you stop ? He could be seriously hurt, and you’re sitting here, berating me about the way I phrased a question. Do you even give a shit about him? Do you even—” He cuts himself off when he sees Laurent’s expression. Like he did last time with Nicaise, Damen braces himself for what’s to come, goes over the list of things Laurent can hurl at him, tries to minimize the inevitable damage. The comment will be about Nikandros, about his soft childhood in Ios, about the time he tried to discipline Nicaise by himself and ended up covered in vomit.   Nothing happens. There’s only Laurent, turning his face to the side so Damen can’t stare at it any longer. In the silence of the car, Laurent’s breathing shakes.

“Is his name really Dog?” Laurent says, sitting down next to Damen. Between them, the two cups of coffee and the small pile of croissants both steam. “I didn’t believe Nicaise when he told me.” “I,” Damen starts, lie ready on his tongue, and stops. It’s very meta. “I’m not good with names.” Laurent picks up his coffee instead of agreeing with Damen. Instead of mocking. The space between their bodies is comfortable enough—they’re not touching, not even their knees or thighs. They’re not looking at each other either, not with the entire park stretching green and busy in front of them.

2. If so, do those abusive behaviors necessarily indicate that he is and will always be an abuser?

I take this to be one of the major points of contention on the part of the angry readers. As you can probably guess, I don’t think the text suggests that Laurent in inherently abusive. Besides the stuff coming in my answer to question 3, we have several reasons to believe that Laurent’s abusive behavior is the product of particular circumstances rather than a generalized personality dysfunction.

We know, and Neo just reminded us above, that abusive behaviors are learned behaviors. We know Laurent was abused in multiple ways before he was able to leave his uncle’s house. We know that he is still very young and that it has not been that long since his uncle’s trial. We know he has not been comfortable talking to Damen about his abuse, which gives us reason to believe he still experiences a great deal of shame. That shame is hinted at here:

“He respects you,” Laurent says before Damen has made up his mind about the yelling. “He looks at you and sees a standard to meet. Normalcy. It’s hard to disappoint people you respect. Especially people like you.” “Like me.” “You do things your way. Everyone else does them wrong.” “That’s,” Damen starts. The absolute inaccuracy of the phrase leaves him hanging. “What the fuck?” Laurent ignores him. “He doesn’t respect me, and he also knows I have no room to judge. It’s different. We’re—it’s just different.”

We also know that Laurent is specifically and intentionally not abusive toward Nicaise. We have seen that he has been absorbing a ton of anger, vilification, derision, denigration from Nicaise almost entirely without complaint and without lashing out at Nicaise in return. In fact, after the breaking of the paperweight, when Laurent feels that he might not be able to avoid reacting in a way he will regret, he calls Damen to safely remove Nicaise from the situation. Having taken the lock off Nicaise’s door for reasons many parents would no doubt consider justified, he realizes it was a mistake:

Damen doesn’t look down at the twisted little bolts on the floor. “Actually, you should watch this part in case you ever want to dismantle it again.” “I won’t.” Damen rubs his sleeve over a weird spot on the knob. “You’re betting a lot on Nicaise’s hypothetical good behavior.” “It was dumb, taking the lock away as punishment. I…” Laurent’s thumb glides over the edge of the glass. It traces a full circle before stopping and going white, digging in. His jaw twitches like he’s munching on something. “Privacy shouldn’t be a reward.” “Wasn’t this about safety? He locked himself in, wouldn’t come out or reply when you called…” Laurent’s reply is slow to come. After a while, Damen stops expecting it to come at all. He goes back to testing the lock—twice, waiting for that click sound—opens the door, closes it, and rattles the knob a bit. Just to be sure. “My uncle made it about safety too,” Laurent says. “Locks on doors were for adults. Not children.” The lonely ice cube in his glass floats around aimlessly, not quite touching its confines. “The first to go were the bedroom locks. What if there’s a fire and you can’t get out? What if someone breaks in through the window and—well.” Laurent smiles, small and ugly. “That kind of thing. You know.”

He ensures that Nicaise sees a therapist, meets with that therapist regularly, and follows professional advice about putting Nicaise on medication.

Laurent also maintains a strong friendship with Ancel, whose judgment the text has taught us to trust, through Damen’s evolving relationship with him. Laurent is capable of non-abusive, non-superficial relationships.

3. If not, what evidence do we have that HIUH Laurent can and will stop engaging in abusive behaviors?

From the moment we see Laurent interact with Damen in the present of this story, he is trying to treat Damen better. Not because he thinks he can get back together with Damen, but because he realizes he needs to make a relationship with Damen possible for Nicaise. We have already seen above that most of the time when Damen expects Laurent’s ridicule in this story, he does not actually receive it. In very stressful conversations, when Laurent does lash out, he now tends to pull back or even to acknowledge and apologize:

Coffee. Damen takes two long sips, trying to rinse the bad taste out of his mouth. They’ve had arguments in public before, probably louder than this one. For some reason, the thought isn’t as comforting as Damen would have once found it. They broke up to be better than they were together, didn’t they? They should be better. Except this doesn’t feel better. Or different. Laurent says, “That was out of line.” Now, cooled off, Damen feels clammy. Wobbly. He knows Laurent is right, and yet the thought of sitting through a reprimand makes him want to melt away. “It was.” “I—apologize.” Damen looks up from his coffee to Laurent’s profile. He’s facing the wrong way, Damen thinks stupidly, because the window is to their left. “You apologize.” Half a question. “Go ahead,” Laurent says. “Rub it in.” Damen doesn’t want to. Nausea is curling around him, closing in. “I was out of line too, so.”

And we know now that Laurent has thought through some of his past behaviors toward Damen:

“I was angry at you,” Laurent says, “all the time. Sometimes it was justified, but when it wasn’t I just—I found ways to justify it. That wasn’t fair. Of me.” Damen’s palm is numb around the glass. “Why were you angry?” “Nicaise.” “Justified,” Damen says. “And the rest of it?” Laurent is facing him again. “Paschal says I have a tendency to expect the worst from everyone. Especially you. You’d make comments, and I’d think you were being cruel instead of…” “Instead of what? Ignorant?” Laurent doesn’t reply. “That makes no sense,” Damen says. “We never argued about me being fucking sadistic. We argued about you acting like some things were obvious and I was simply too much of an idiot to get them.” “I never thought you were an idiot.” “You said it often enough.” “I’m—sorry,” Laurent says. “It doesn’t change anything, but—even if you had been the biggest idiot in the world, you didn’t deserve…” A blinking spree follows. “I’m sorry.”

We know that Laurent is still in therapy, and we know that he has been talking about his relationship with Damen there because Paschal has suggested couples counseling for them. And Laurent has invited Damen to do that couples counseling, showing that he wants them to build a better foundation for their relationship  going forward.

4. If HIUH Laurent stops engaging in abusive behaviors, what reasons, if any, does HIUH Damen have to return to the relationship despite past abuse?

Damen is deeply in love with Laurent. At the beginning of the story, he is in denial about this fact, but the uncontrollable flow of his thoughts still shows us how much he feels the loss of their relationship. Once he and Laurent are speaking again, seeing improvements in their communication, and experiencing moments of comfort and fun in their interactions – and once Laurent has broken up with Maxime – Damen admits to himself that he wants to be back together. Neo, as usual, prompts the self-recognition:

“I’m asking you to think about what life might look like in two years,” Neo says, “for you and Laurent. Time does not only pass for you, Damen.” A smile, crinkling the corners of Neo’s eyes. “That’d be ideal, wouldn’t it?”  Two years. Damen sits with the question for a while, looking at it, prodding it. In two years, Nicaise will have gone away to college. Maybe Laurent will move, relocate, start over somewhere closer to Vask. He’ll post about his new life on Instagram, or details of it will make it to Damen as second-hand gossip. They could still be friends, over text or the phone or fucking letters, Damen thinks, yet there’s something bitter in the back of his throat, filling up his mouth like vomit. Maybe Laurent will date again. Probably. Most likely. And Damen— When he looks up from the armrest, Neo is looking straight back.  Damen can’t say it. Earlier today, as he typed his last email of the day at the office, he kept drafting a plan for today’s session. He’d explain his argument with Laurent, then the party at Ancel’s, then the way he keeps looking at Laurent in all the wrong lights, in all the wrong ways, and still finds himself wanting to kiss him. Neo would make a disapproving face, maybe, but it would be easy to brush off; anyone that doesn’t know Laurent would find it hard to understand how easy it is to want to kiss him. Except that isn’t all Damen wants. What Damen wants isn’t a settling of the score, a cleaning of the slate. He doesn’t want to do it once for old times’ sake, or twice out of gluttony. He doesn’t want to make any long-distance phone calls, write any letters, see any pictures on Instagram of Laurent and someone that isn’t him. He doesn’t want things to stay like this, in this careful antiseptic stage. He doesn’t want them to be friends. “It’s not what I want,” Damen says, at last. Neo leans back into his chair. He rolls his wrist once. “You think it’s what I should want, right? Letting go and all.” “I wouldn’t say that,” Neo says. “Should and shouldn’t are very loaded words. It also doesn’t matter what I think you should or shouldn’t do, in general. What is it that you want, since we’ve already established what it is that you don’t?” Don’t make me say it out loud. “I want,” Damen starts, and stops. The words look so stupid, jumbled inside his head. I want him back, like Laurent is a toy someone took away and won’t return. Like Damen is a child, begging. Don’t make me say it.   Seconds trickle by, piling into a minute. Then two. “Do you want to be in a relationship with Laurent again?” “I thought I already was,” Damen says. “A friendship is a kind of relationship. You said that.” Neo closes his eyes, keeps them like that for a while. “I did, yes. Let me rephrase that—do you want to be in a romantic relationship with Laurent? Again?” There is no loophole this time, no two-meaning word Damen can latch onto. The truth sits heavy in him, not on his chest but somewhere deeper, inside a little crevice between some (probably important) organs. Saying no would be lying, saying yes would be diminishing.  “I want things to be good,” Damen says. “That’s all.”

And in chapter 19, Damen is brutally honest with himself about how, even after everything, he still wants Laurent:

“You meet new people,” Neo says. “You go on dates, make new friends, find new interests. Despite what you might think right now, Laurent isn’t your only option. Dare I say, Laurent might not even be your best option.” The room is dark, darker than it was when the phone call started, but Damen’s eyes hurt like he’s been staring at a ball of light for too long. Everything hurts in a strange, modest way. A throb here, faint. An ache there, heatless.  “I don’t want other options,” Damen says. “Well.” “How fucked up is that?” “Pretty fucked up,” Neo says. It makes Damen stop blinking. “Luckily, you’re already doing therapy. It’s only bound to get less complicated from here on. Or more, depending on how you look at it.” “I don’t even wanna look at it, to be honest.” “Then don’t. Take time off, let things cool down, think about what’s been said… No one is asking you to choose right this second.” It’s not that anyone is asking. It’s that it feels like he’s already made his choice. 

“You didn’t tell me,” Damen says before he can think not to. “Tell you what?” “How bad it was.” Laurent’s thumb traces the t in team. It’s a bit crooked, even from Damen’s perspective. “It was pretty bad,” he says, slowly, “before you came back. Things were better once he started seeing you again.” “You call that better?” “Yes,” Laurent says.  I would have come back, Damen thinks, if you’d told me. Except it’s not true; he would have come back for much less. He’s here now, sitting across from Laurent in this mediocre coffee shop, talking things out, making an effort, thinking of reaching out to finally, finally, hold Laurent’s hand.  It’s strange, looking at Laurent and knowing he’s the only other person on earth that feels the same way he does. Where else would Damen go? Who else would he talk to? No one will ever get it, not the way Laurent does. And Laurent knows it. He must, or else he would not be sitting here either. There is only this, Damen thinks. At least for him, there will only ever be this.

So there is that. Damen is hopelessly devoted to Laurent. But that doesn’t make getting back together with him a good decision. Love would not be a good reason to return to an abusive relationship.

Another NOT good reason would be Damen believing the fact that he made mistakes cancels out Laurent’s harmful behavior. The text makes that explicitly clear through Neo:

Neo’s pen hops; a period appears at the end of a sentence. “Apologies can be hard to navigate. It’s sort of like… You’ve wronged me, and you know that you’ve wronged me, and now you’re apologizing for it while expecting me to forgive you. It’s quite a lot to put on a person.” “There are degrees to wrong,” Damen says. His chair feels smaller, like it’s locking him in instead of holding him up. The armrests keep getting in the way of his elbows. “And it’s not like I didn’t have stuff I had to apologize for too. I don’t get why you’re trying to make this seem like a bad thing.” “I’m not.” “Then why—” “Do you think you deserved an apology from Laurent?” Damen leans back and back and back, until his shoulder blades find something solid. Did he deserve…? He’d wanted one, once. In Nikandros’s guest room, with only beige and white and terracotta everything around him, he’d had staring matches with his own phone. He’d thought Laurent might call, at the very beginning. Apologizing. Begging. But Laurent never did. “Yeah,” Damen says.  Neo’s head begins to tilt. “You don’t sound too sure about that.” “I am sure.” “All right,” Neo says. “Why do you deserve an apology?” “I told you already. He treated me like I was an idiot.” “How?” “How—what?” “How exactly did he treat you like you were an idiot? What were his actions towards you?” “I,” Damen starts, but something in Neo’s face makes him pause. “He’d say things when we argued.” “Such as?” “That I was an asshole.” Neo nods. “And how did you feel when you heard him say that? Did you feel like it was fair?” “I felt like he was an asshole,” Damen says. “Sometimes.” “Whereas now you feel like he was right?” He was right about Nicaise. And maybe about Ancel, too. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” “I don’t want you to say anything,” Neo says. “I’m just trying to get you to think about things from a different perspective. Laurent apologized, which is an important—not to say crucial—step in rebuilding any kind of relationship. But it seems to me that you’re holding onto this newly found belief that because you acted a certain way, because you made mistakes, you somehow deserved the way he treated you throughout the last stages of your relationship.” “That’s not what I think,” Damen says.  “All right. Then you think you deserved the apology because the way he treated you was wrong.” “Yes. But…” “But…?” Damen’s face feels hot, the heat lodged right over his molars. “Doesn’t it kind of cancel out? Like, we both fucked up.” “Those are two different issues,” Neo says. “So no, they don’t cancel out. What he did to you and what you did to him are obviously connected, but someone doing something wrong or bad is not an excuse to do the wrong or bad thing back to them.” Neo gives his pen a tap. “Or it does, I suppose. It depends on your belief system. But you don’t strike me as an ‘eye for an eye’ fan.” I don’t want any eyes, Damen thinks. 

I interpret the failed second try (or second strike) of Damen and Laurent’s relationship to have been somewhat based on the “cancel out” reasoning from above. The “cancel out” and move past approach  did not work because they failed to address the many insecurities, communication failures, and problematic patterns that plagued the first time around. A discussion with Neo (again) makes this clear. Damen hasn’t yet learned to listen to what Laurent is saying without letting his insecurities and anger get in the way:

But Damen isn’t in Laurent’s position. You’ll never get it, Laurent had said about Nicaise. Maybe it’s true. “I get why he did it. I’ve been thinking, and it’s not—I get it. Nicaise being embarrassed, wanting Laurent in the room because he was the least angry of—” “I don’t think that’s why,” Neo says. “Or at least, that’s not what you’ve just told me Laurent said about the whole thing.” “What?” “Laurent talked extensively about roles. Did you notice that?” “No.” “He presents himself as the scapegoat for Nicaise’s anger, while you’re the one Nicaise admires and wants to impress.” Tap, tap, tap. Damen imagines Neo’s fingers flying across the keyboard. “It seems to me Nicaise wasn’t concerned about the different intensity levels of your—as in, yours and Laurent’s—anger. He knew you were both angry.” “Laurent was better at handling it.” “Was he?” “I couldn’t stop thinking about the guy,” Damen says. Guys, his brain supplies, helpful as ever. “I still can’t. Even now, I know it’s not—that’s not important. I was yelling at Nicaise. I wasn’t listening.” “And that’s why Nicaise didn’t want you to go with him to the clinic?” Damen closes his eyes. He needs to repaint his ceiling, do something about the lack of texture there.  “Laurent said something about abandonment,” Neo tries. A nudge. “You’ve mentioned Nicaise doesn’t do well with change, that he’s got a tendency to latch onto routines and people. Do you think it might be possible that he was trying to preserve the relationship he has with you?” “By keeping me out of a medical examination room.” “Yes.” “That’s what Laurent said.” “Well,” Neo says. “It sounds plausible.”

Damen wanted magically for them to be over their past:

“Right,” Damen says. “You don’t do should and shouldn’t. I forgot.” “Are you upset?” Are you angry with me? “I don’t know,” Damen says. “We were supposed to be past this, and now it’s out there and I can’t—we can’t—” “How were you supposed to be past this, if this had never been discussed before today?” “You said it’s impossible to discuss everything.”

So, I don’t think it’s a strong interpretation of the text to say that @thickenmyblood is trying to present Damen in an unfairly negative light in order to excuse Laurent’s much worse behavior and thereby make it okay for them to get back together. Cancelling out isn’t what the HEA of the story is set up to be about.

That said – and given the fact that Damen is still in love with Laurent – what GOOD reasons might Damen have to try the relationship again?

For one, he is beginning to understand better what the fights with Laurent about Nicaise were about. Moreover, they have now explicitly acknowledged that they are co-parenting Nicaise and Laurent has expressed a clear commitment to them parenting Nicaise as a team.

For another, Damen has a much improved understanding of the role of therapy and the complexities of mental health. He has a long ways to go on this front, but I don’t think we’ll see him dismissing or belittling Laurent’s mental health needs. Moreover, Damen has ways of addressing his own mental health needs and talking things through with a person who doesn’t share his triggers and emotional investments around Laurent.

For a third, he has made a commitment to working through their issues in therapy and has concluded that he trusts Laurent to try just as hard as he will to repair and strengthen their relationship.

Crucially, Damen has also learned to stand up for himself when he feels Laurent is implying that he is incapable of understanding things. This means he can point it out and Laurent can recognize when he is retreating into a defensive, harmful pattern. This also allows Damen to indicate that something isn’t obvious to him and to ask Laurent to explain it kindly and clearly. I think that is the only way they can reconcile their very different life histories and relationships to social normativity.

ONCE AGAIN, believing this about HIUH Damen relative to HIUH Laurent does not mean that I believe this is something all (or even very many) real life people who were previously in unhealthy relationships should aim for or could achieve.  

Which brings us to our bonus questions:

A. Is an HIUH Laurent who harms Damen through abusive behavior mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

No, in fact, this is not a mischaracterization. Laurent abused Damen in canon. He took him as a slave. He sought Damen’s public humiliation. He had Damen whipped to an extent that would have killed most other people. He placed Damen in a situation that (for almost any other person) would have resulted in a violent public rape. He also forced Damen to engage in public and non-consensual oral sex. Later, when he understood Damen more emotionally and was feeling insecure or threatened, he lied about his feelings and motivations out of shame and self-hatred and with the aim of hurting Damen enough to drive him away.

B. Is an HIUH Damen who chooses to be with Laurent despite past abuse mischaracterized relative to the canon source material?

Damen fell in love with Laurent after all that abuse because he came to understand its source and because he saw other sides of Laurent that were caring and honorable and expressed a commitment to achieving justice, even if not by fully honest means. He came to understand Laurent as a survivor, even before he became aware of what exactly Laurent had survived. He stuck with Laurent through all of Laurent’s attempts to push him away and fought for what should have been an impossible relationship. And throughout this process, he learned about his own naivete and to question key elements of his upbringing, like the quest for war glory and the belief that “perfect treatment” justified slavery.

Captive Prince is a seductive and enthralling trilogy. And we willingly suspend any disbelief about whether Laurent’s trauma can truly be overcome simply by Damen’s noble nature and magical healing cock.

Why not do the same for HIUH? (Or, you know, just stop reading it.)

Although I do think Maca may owe us some healing cock. Just sayin’.

[mrrcasuallycruell]

NICO U GOT LASIK?????? HOW ARE YOU????????

Okay fuck it it's been 60 hours since my surgery and now im going to write a long post because im tired of not using my phone :/

anyways i hope my eyes aren't too stressed for typing this so i'm wearing sunglasses and my phone is on extra dim brightness with the blue light filter so please excuse any typos. i'm doing fine and yay i did not go blind (at least so far i hope it stays this way sksjsksk). i was so tensed before getting lasik i watched like every video on youtube and read every reddit thread i could (won't recommend because almost everyone posts about negative experiences on online forums since people with successful surgeries don't really care to share their experience mostly).

Getting the surgery done is such a cool experience because you're conscious the entire time, you lose your vision for a few seconds when they cut your eye flap but then a white light appears and you see different colored dots such as red and green, it feels like you're looking at stars through a telescope. When they turn on the laser to reshape your cornea you can actually smell something burning which I would've thought was the smell of my eye burning but turns out it's just particles in the air that the laser contacts which give off the smell i'm not sure tho.

Anyways, after getting the surgery done it's sadly not a fairytale ending as if you can see everything perfectly but when i got up i could actually read stuff that was far away from me (??!!!!??!!?!!!!) but everything was hazy, it wasn't blurred but it was just like everyone was glowing too much). anyways, after the surgery the doctor checked my eyes and told me i'd start feeling a burning sensation in half an hour, so i should sleep as soon as i get home. So i got home and the burning and itching started, it was very mild at first so i took the sleeping pilp they prescribed and went to sleep however i woke up after an hour and i literally couldn't open my eyes they were burning like hell. it felt as if someone had opened my eyes and was cutting onions on top of them. So i slept again and when i woke up the itching had stopped.

After waking up my vision was amazing, i mean there was still a weird glow but it wasn't too much and i could see everyone's face so clearly if it wasn't under the lights i felt like crying and i still feel like it when i can look at stuff so clearly with my own eyes 😭😭😭😭 it is so coo!!!!! i never thought i would see like this, I've been wearing glasses for the last 11 years and my eye sight came back in a few hours?????????!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I went to the doctor and he told me that even though i was visibly tensed i still did an almost perfect job at aligning my eyes during the surgery and that everything was back in place perfectly. I still have to put in 3 different eye drops 4 times a day so that my eyes dont get too dry. I told him about the glare issues ive been having such as start bursts and halos around lights and he said they'd settle in a couple of weeks since my brain is still adjusting to this change (i hope he's right because i can feel the effect lessening in just 2 days)

Also i went out at night yesterday and the star bursts i saw coming from the cars and street lights were insane but they looked so fucking cool 💀 so yeah i guess that's all for now, all that I've done the past few days is listened to music with my eyes closed and i don't regret it at all :D

picture for reference

[worldheadcanons]

ugh so first of all i was rereading my last ask, i'm really sorry for all the typos and grammar mistakes. i just say whatever i have on my mind and then press send. plus english isn't my first language :p. but feli... even outside of the stalker au, i see him as being a very manipulative and possessive bf. he even outdoes mattie !! like i imagine him being the flirty type, always nice to all the people around him and it could even make you think that he's not that serious about you but don't let that fool you nuh uh. you're the apple of his eye and always will be. if that makes sense. i believe that he's also trying really hard to come off as nonchalant but gd does he care so fucking much. and he shows u that not thru grandiose actions, but in the small things that he does for you. i imagine that as a stalker he's the type of guy to break into your home... and literally do your chores like washing the dishes or laundry. he's not even creepy about it tbh (mattie can't say the same i think he was jorkin it on the y/n's bed once or twice while they weren't home) and threaten the people he sees as competition behind your back. so feli is simultaneously well behaved but also the worst in the stalker au. sorry but imo feli isn't a gooner like mattie. i can continue btw i just don't want this ask to be too long

idm typos & spelling errors; english is my first language and i still suck at it :p i spell better w french bc i’m too scared to accidentally misspell a word lololol

feli making you feel like ur casual when rlly he thinks ur his soulmate. i think he wld 100% subscribe to that “childish” belief of like “you’re the only one, you’re my soulmate, i feel bonded with you, i’m yours” etc etc. even more so than the others, he believes that you’re meant to be together. so what if he flirts with another girl? she offers him only attention; you offer so much more.

also wld love for him to do my laundry. i hate folding my clothes UGH & ur also right, he’s not a gooner. he’s definitely more romantic if u cld call it that than sexual or sensual, unlike alfred or mattie poo.

yeah, feli is the worse in that he’s violent towards others, he can be manipulative towards you (making you feel less than, lovebombing at times even), he can be childish imo etc etc but he’s also.. genuinely helpful? gets things done for you, is sweet to you esp over phone. buys things for you. money is never an issue — he’s wealthy, actually, i think. idk, i get that vibe.

++ he has killed ppl or will kill ppl (cant decide which) i think he’s had obsessions in the past too but he’s convinced they were side quests, training so he’s perfected his craft (stalking) for you

[shotorozu]

hellolololo!¡! so i recently saw this video where their

s/o goes on to omegle and the other person from omegle like goes “hi ur cute” or “u have snap?” and then their boyfriend just enters the frame,, can u do that to todobakudeku separately :3

if u dont understand u can check this out 😭 https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJdEqc7V/ tyy ❤️❤️

“ur kinda cute” on omegle

(tiktok prank)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku (bnha)

part two — part three

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, crack — ‘x reader’

note(s) : i love these types of requests 🤩 so i plan on making 3 parts with this (oh and don’t worry, i’ll finish the other tiktok prank series i have going on at the moment)

also, there’s no proofread on this so if there’s any typos or mistakes, sorry! i’ll be editing them in the morning

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

todoroki shouto

okay so, the entire tiktok idea was planned— but the part where shouto came in surely wasn’t staged

so, being a curious young person— you wanted to make a tiktok, where you went on omegle just to speak to people for fun

and inside of your head, you’re kinda thinking that “this is dumb, omg im going to get flashed on there.” also while you were setting up your laptop

but you just used the appropriate tags and !! you were set off for an adventure

you set your phone aside, and you filmed most of the experience— cutting out the not so interesting encounters out of your tiktok

and then came on a dude, who had a,, unique reaction. he didn’t seem all that fishy— until he asked you for your snap (your social medias, essentially)

“you’re kinda cute, y’know. how did i not see you before?”

you shake your head, “oh no no! i appreciate your compliment, but i’m very much taken!” your mind immediately flashing back to the image of your icyhot boyfriend

“nahh you’re lying! i don’t see any dude back there”

oh,, and that was because shouto was out getting snacks 🧎 “no really dude, i appreciate it! i’m very much taken and being disloyal is out of the question!”

this dude just kept insisting and insisting, and due to the struggle— you weren’t able to hear the door knob jiggle

it seemed to be that his advances came to an end, and your lover made an entrance— a mop of red and white peaked out from the door frame

and the dude literally got scared and ended the conversation 💀 because you really weren’t lying!

you also figured that it was time to end your omegle shenanigans, and finish the tiktok— because your boyfriend was already there “hi love, who were you talking to?”

you closed your laptop, and offered him a smile “i was on omegle for a tiktok! i’m glad you’re back.” you discard your phone, wrapping your arms around his torso (and also making sure you don’t delete the draft)

shouto doesn’t say a lot, but he immediately accepts your touch, setting the groceries aside.

he doesn’t question the fact that you were on omegle because well,, he had to get used to your shenanigans on tiktok SOMEHOW

a few hours later, you posted the tiktok— and almost immediately, the tiktok gains a lot of attention

“i love how your boyfriend drove the last dude away 💀💀” “man the last dude didn’t take the hint 🗿” “your boyfriend indirectly protected you! we need more guys like him.”

you snicker at the comments, which ultimately gathered shouto’s attention “what’s up, love?”

you show him the tiktok, “the tiktok did well.” he’ll comment calmly, but shouto’s lowkey MAD ?? that a dude had the audacity. but he’s just glad that you’re happy just maybe,, don’t go on omegle anymore 💀

“love— next time, let me in on your tiktoks.” he says, running a thumb along your cheek lightly. because he was actually quite entertained, putting everything aside

bakugou katsuki

as if bakugou katsuki would let you go on OMEGLE, a place that’s known for having the sketchiest people to ever exist— but make it virtual

but being with you made him realize that well,, if you want to do something, you’ll go through lengths just to do it.

even the great bakugou katsuki can’t really stop you. whatever makes you happy— but oh, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t highly discourage it

which lead you to go on omegle for a tiktok in the other room, while bakugou exercised in the very next room.

when you told him that you wanted to film a tiktok, bakugou only shrugged— “don’t do overly dumb shit.” was what he only told you and he left the door open too

you then set up your phone and laptop, applied the appropriate tags— and went off to make your tiktok

you only filmed the interesting encounters, and the people you met on there were very diverse in personality and just,, in general.

after the 4th encounter, then came a rather interesting dude. he didn’t seem all that ordinary but he wasn’t spectacular. he was just nice

and the conversation was rather normal— until he started asking for your socials “putting everything aside, do you have social media? you’re really cute.”

you reject immediately, “oh no, i appreciate your words but— i already have a boyfriend.”

you just have to hope that he noticed bakugou walking back and forth with equipment, but with his next words— that doesn’t seem to be the case

“i didn’t see anyone back there, a simple no would’ve been sufficient instead.” uh oh

“no really, i—” and before things escalated, katsuki’s head peaked through the door frame, freshly out of the shower “are you almost done, idiot?”

the dude literally looked behind you, and thought “oh shit, their boyfriend is bakugou fucking katsuki.” because bakugou is famous for,, multiple different reasons

the dude’s camera shakes in terror, “oh uhm,, it was nice meeting you!” not long before he dips from of the conversation, never to be seen again.

closing your laptop— you end the tiktok while bursting into laughter, and this action just confused katsuki ever further. he heard you speaking to someone, and when he looked, the person was nowhere to be seen

“what are you laughing at??”

“nothing katsuki, i was laughing at the tiktok i just made.”

then— you figured that it would be best to tell katsuki now that you were on omegle (long story short, he wasn’t pleased)

he scolded you that you shouldn’t be on omegle, but let’s be honest, he couldn’t stay mad at you— so he just cuddles the frustration away

when you upload the tiktok the following hours, it blows up pretty quickly—with comments like “LOL IS THAT BAKUGOU KATSUKI??” “he had guts until he saw bakugou katsuki 💀” “tbh i’d be scared too”

and when you report the news the katsuki, he smirks— “as he should be.”

midoriya izuku

at this point, izuku is very much used to your shenanigans on tiktok. he’s very supportive of whatever you do all in all

but, about omegle,,, yeah,, as much as he trusts you— he does not trust omegle. he’s aware that it’s a shady place, and he doesn’t advise that you do go on that website bc he cares

so when you brought up the tiktok idea, he proposed that he’d be there, right beside you just to monitor if anyone’s being weird :)

and that’s great! because you also wanted to ask if he wanted to be a reoccuring guest in your tiktok— and of course, what kind of boyfriend would he be if he opposed?

he helps you set up your laptop and phone— all of that sort of stuff, and then you guys were off to make an interesting tiktok

oh, but izuku did apply the appropriate tags because he didn’t want you to see odd things he was secretly nervous but,, you were very ethusiastic, so he was too.

the first several people were interesting in their own way— especially with their reactions to your boyfriend appearing on screen

usually, they’d back off with, and comment on how cute your boyfriend is— wishing the both of you well before calmly leaving to meet new people,

that was how it was, until you met this person in particular.

he sounded very,, egotistical— i wouldn’t say that because you’ve just met the dude, but he acted like everyone wanted him or it sounded like that

then he says, “you definitely have a phone number, right? you’re cute, just my type.” wkdksmd this is awkward since izuku’s right beside you, but he’s just outside of the frame

then, izuku pops out of the frame— in all his cute ass glory, he gives a small wave to the not so pleased stranger

“please, that’s your boyfriend?” he scoffs, “with those arms, he looks like he could be your little brother! now let me ask again—”

it’s really weird?? because have you seen izuku’s gainz?? and this dude’s audacity is extraordinary.

but little did this guy know, he’s looking at midoriya izuku— and,, you’ve seen his performance in the sports festival.

the dude takes another glance at your boyfriend, who’s sitting there right beside you— and he realizes who he was talking to

“oh shit, you’re—” and before the both of you could realize it, he nopes out of the conversation.

after that encounter, you burst into a fit of laughter— the look on izuku’s face being priceless. “you should’ve seen your reaction!”

“haha, i guess he knew who i was,” he says bashfully, cheeks warming up. because it registered in his mind that people actually knew who he was. “can you,, upload the tiktok later? i want to hug you— i mean! if that’s fine.”

of course it’s fine! you oblige, and give him all the hugs he could ever need

after cuddling with izuku, you do upload the tiktok— and an hour later, your tiktok notifications blow up

the tiktok all in all gathered 1M views, 780K likes, and over 1,500 comments— most of them saying stuff like

“your boyfriend’s reaction was so cute?? i know he looked like he was going to punch him through the screen but 👀” “last dude was just not it.” “LMAO HE REALLY TRIED IT” “is your boyfriend IZUKU MIDORIYA??”

when you excitingly showed him the tiktok’s results, he was certainly pleased— because most of the comments were positive, and also because the tiktok’s results made you happy

“i’m glad that it did well!” he’ll sigh in relief, pressing a kiss against your temple, let’s just not go on there ever again

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[a-clowns-words]

BNHA class 1-A boys and their texting styles:

Bakugou: *CAPS LOCK*, "Fuck, shit, mf, etc.", *excessive swearing*, "?!?!", "BAHAHAHAHA, PFFFT" "🖕" (only emoji he ever uses), proper grammar and punctuation most of the time and always spells everything right, will leave people on read out of pure spite almost every time, nicknames for everyone and constantly comes up with new ones, gets kicked out of the class group chat a lot- mostly for kicking Deku though the lovesick fool is always the one to add his blond bitch boy back

Deku: "???", daily "gm!, hru, wyd?, u good?, gnnn!", "i-"/"-"'s a lot, ":D, :), >:), :(, -_-, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, etc.", "loll, hehe, HA", "😊✨💗" (only positive emojis except when he's talking to Bakugou then maybe a possible 🙄), texts back as soon as he can and apologizes excessively when it takes a while, uses mostly lowercase letters and no punctuation but spells everything right with good grammar, sometimes swears but censors

Kirishima: "BROOOO, LETS GOOO, NO WAY MAN!" "Dude, bro, man, my guyyy" ":DDD, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯", "LMAO, PFFFT" "😎😅❤️👍", almost no punctuation ever besides a ! after almost everything-, needs autosuggest to spell right but it betrays him a lot, responds immediately no matter what he's doing, only low-key swears and never at someone like "damn, shit, etc."

Todoroki: "...", *no emojis or emoticons ever*, propper punctuation and grammar as well as perfect spelling every time, got very annoyed at autosuggest so he turned it off, turned off the emoji keyboard as well, took him forever to understand abbreviations and slang.. still doesn't really get it and swore to himself he'd never use it in his life, responds when he feels like it but won't leave someone on read unless it's his father or by accident, never swears

Iida: "!!!", "tHis iS nOt aN aPPrOpRiaTe tOpiC!!!", "😠‼️ 👍👎", constantly getting kicked out of the class group chat (usually by bakusquad members) for being too controlling- even leaving by himself sometimes, has great grammar and punctuation and all but autosuggest also hates him and he gets laughed at a lot for his terrible typos, dose not swear and scolds others for doing so, responds to people quickly occasionally leaving them on read if it's nothing important or he forgets

Denki: "Ooooo~", ":D, >:D, :), :(, etc." "😉😋🤠", "Bro, sis, dude, girl", *inappropriate jokes intensify* (though he always apologizes), "im not stupid im just gAy, lol im dying", "LMAOOO, XD, AHAHAHA", doesn't even bother trying to spell anymore or use any type of proper grammar, gets some weird autocorrects but just rolls with it and concerns everyone, is a dumbass 24/7 and literally almost no one understands what he texts, would never leave someone on read and responds quick

Sero: a mix of Kirishima and Denki, doesn't talk a lot though and when he does it's usually just to ask for homework help or to annoy Bakugou, forgets to respond a lot so he leaves people on read by accident.

Tokoyami: *dry*, "I'm dead inside.", *big words that make Denki's brain hurt*, rarely talks, only types maybe up to three words max in a text, perfect grammar and punctuation, also turned off autosuggest so he had perfect spelling as well, leaves everyone on read for a long while before responding

Aoyama: "✨✨✨" ...that's literally it- he just sends sparkles with every text and rarely comes on to chat anyways, will leave someone on read because he doesn't like them

Ojiro, Kouda, and Satou: Want to text people but always think they'll be annoying, go on the group chat sometimes to talk but usually see chaos and just spectate instead, would never leave someone on read except for maybe Kouda and only because he's shy or doesn't know how to respond- or both, calm texting, no swearing and usually good grammar and spelling except sometimes Satou who has pretty terrible spelling and makes a lot of typos

Shouji: No one even knows he's in the group chat, barely anyone remembers he actually has a phone and if someone does text him he usually only gives quick one or two word responses

Mineta: *censored*, got kicked from the group chat after about 15 minutes by Bakugou when he came on and saw he was added, no one protested

Shinsou: got added by Denki before he joined class 1-a, "mhm, mk, whatever", "-_-", *also pretty dry*, leaves everyone on read unless they bug him a lot because he hates people but still doesn't want to be rude, has average spelling and grammar but again he almost never talks so it's not very apparent

[izupie]

100 Relatable Writer Things

(Courtesy of the creative writers from the Kacchako Discord server. We suffer together fam.)

doesn't write for 84 years 

starts a billion things, no time to finish or update

daydreaming about writing 

thinks about writing in shower, has no writing utensils

about to fall asleep, sudden motivation and inspiration

stuck at dayjob, pure, unadulterated motivation and inspiration

arrives home too tired to write

sits down at computer to write, spends two hours on the internet doing everything except writing

listening to music and it slows your writing to a snail's pace.

accidentally write the lyrics instad of dialogue

ignore typos

your Internet sucks and you can't connect to Google docs for a day.

trying to write angst only to slowly turn it into fluff

you remember you have pets and wanna cuddle them over writing 

you have a carefully written plan, that all of your characters are ignoring and start going in directions you are unprepared for

your characters do what they want, fuck u 

you realize you wrote a plot point too early and then mash the delete button.

you bingewatch a sitcom and plan all of these everyday aus and don't write any of them and demolish ice cream in the dark instead

you stare at your screen after doing nothing for an hour and the whole time you are internally screaming.

you open your story document and suddenly realise the bookshelf in your room needs alphabetising 

you look back at the manga for reference but end up just rereading the manga 

you fantasize about your characters and blush because they're so attractive

you realise you've been making weird expressions at your screen while you've been typing

the people around you have also noticed.

people wonder if you are okay in public settings writing angst

you brainstorm amazing ideas for your fic as you sleep but when you wake up you don't remember shit

having idea bouncing buddies to help with your au and end up creating a separate au

getting aus mixed

finding somewhere to write smut where nobody will accidentally look over your shoulder

you write smut in public but you're so tired that you don't care who sees anymore  

doing dumb shit like "bakugou looked at bakugou" and publishing it

you finish writing a chapter and look over your outline only to learn you skipped doing a scene.

try to quickly edit things, end up combing through chapter again

lots of picture refs for characters

forgetting your time scale while writing. how much time has passed? idk man

writing a one shot that becomes a 20k multichap

hitting 4k a chapter and crying it's not enough

hitting 19k a chapter and thinking, "maybe I can do more."

wondering if word count its too short/long

just crying. in general.

intending to write an epic slow burn and dropping it two chapters in for another idea

having a fully written arc expecting 10 chapts but with editing it becomes 7 chapts somehow

wanting to write a slow burn but getting so excited to get to the big part you just say fuck it

having so much of an au build up that you are excited for that it unintentionally becomes slowburn

intending to write a serious fic but you don't want to put the characters in any more pain than they canonically are so you turn them all into major goofballs

OR character didn't get enough pain canonically and it was supposed to be funny story

writing angst and pain because you're a masochist

love watching readers cry

taking pleasure in watching them cry

blasting meme music in your ears as your readers scream at you about breaking their hearts

hoping for fanart

teasing spoilers bc you want validation

running from rabid readers

sometimes you write for an hour and have done 500 words. Other times you blink and 3k words are suddenly there.

having a decent steady schedule or becoming spastic update qween, there is no in between. Bonus points if you do separate fics like this

watching a movie, inserting characters for yet another au

taking polls what to update next

never listening to the polls you create

making a schedule and sticking to it. Your fans think your organized but it's more like controlled chaos.

motivated to do something but what? 

literally buying a journal with goals and a tentative update schedule so you can keep your ass in check

not using said journal bc lazy

having monthly updates but writing more than half of it in the last week.

WHAT THE FUCK DO I TITLE IT

what's editing

can someone edit my stuff pls

writing the title of the chapter and then nothing else that day.

write, no edits, only write. Cry

69... 

setting a day to respond to comments. forget

stare at comments with awe and fear

wordvomit, keyboard smash

comments are life

kudos are resurrected life

holy shit a bookmark???????

holy shit someone recced me

wanting to share but don't want to be annoying

wanna collab?

surfing tumblr for writing refs bc your english sucks

i love dialogue~

i hate dialogue

does this sOUND NATURAL THO

is this too descriptive or not enough?

how do i describe this place i've never been to

have i used [blank word] too much?

more pic refs

said is too plain, but they're not doing anything but sitting and talking

does this smell description sound too fanficcy?

having a color bible

is this ooc?

how would you describe a <____> hitting the <___> floor?

how do i describe violence accurately

how many followers/readers will i lose to this

what does <___> pain feel like?

compare yourself to other popular writers

what are you writing has several word docs open

googling stuff that makes you sound like a murderer for rESEARCH

staring at your phone praying someone reviews it soon

how do i write texts or IMs

having that one follower who always comments

BONUS:  Is it truly finished or am I just sick of writing it

[thumper-darling]

Yo those Q's are cute will u do me a solid and do all of them?

1. what colors are in your room?

Dark orange, cream, and gold

2. who was your favorite school teacher?

Basically every English teacher I’ve ever had. 

3. what are some passions of yours?

Writing, reading, watching films, eating sushi, and being around the people that I love 

4. when you drink coffee, do you like it black or with cream and sugar?

already answered in a separate post

5. are you self-conscious about anything? if so, what?

e v e r y t h i n g 

6. do you have any tips for self-love?

already answered in a separate post

7. do you have any stuffed animals? Do you name them?

I have a stuffed rabbit and a stuffed fox. The rabbit is named Alice and the fox is named Cadence.

8. do you like drawing or painting more?

doodling is where it’s at 

9. how do you sleep?

not well

10. what are some things that always make you smile?

already answered in a previous post

11. living in the city, mountains, small town, or out in the middle of nowhere?

city living is where it’s at 

12. what's your dream house?

A really cozy apartment or a loft? that’d be fun. Or a colonial fashion house with a yellow exterior and cobblestone accents. 

13. how many pets do you wish to have?

3. I have my dog now, but I also want a german shepherd and a calico cat. 

14. have you ever dyed your hair? do you want to? what color?

lol yeah, I’ve had almost every damn shade of red and then got too tired of doing that so now it’s just dark brown. I wouldn’t mind dying it some sort of turquoise or emerald green? That’d be fun 

15. what's your opinion on keeping a diary?

It’s great for looking back on the good times 

16. what's your opinion on keeping an art journal?

HONESTLY they’re beautiful and I encourage everyone to try to have some form of creative outlets

17. any art tips?

You are asking the w r o n g person my dude

18. talk about a moment where time stopped

time is an illusion anyways so why does it matter?

19. do you keep playlists for your music?

HECK YES I’m honestly a whore for sectioning songs off into playlists

20. is there anyone out there that you trust with your life?

Idk, my sister?

21. are you your number one priority?

N O 

22. do you always type correctly or do you make millions of typos?

Not usually unless it’s my annoying sister or somebody that is bothering me 

23. recommend some music!!

Daft Punk Boys by Bad Suns

Growing Up by Phil Good

Helena Beat by Foster The People 

24. are your nails perfectly painted, chipped, or plain?

P L A I N 

25. do you believe in wishing on a shooting star?

For sure, but I’m not sure it actually does any good 

26. did you see the eclipse? describe it!!

no :’) 

27. tell us what you love about nature

It’s spontaneity and damn are trees pretty

28. who are you? describe yourself!

My name is Becca, I’m 17, a hufflepuff & a scorpio. I’m allergic to seafood, and bunnies, but I love both soooo. My favorite childhood movie is All Dogs Go To Heaven and my favorite Superhero is Spider-dude. 

29. what type of music do you like, and why?

Alternative/ Indie pop 

30. what's your favorite clothing store? why do you love it so much?

Charlotte Russe because it has high quality clothes in my sizes 

31. thrift stores or name brand stores?

Both? 

32. do you like wearing your s.o clothes?

BITCH WHAT SIGNIFICANT OTHER :’) 

   yes

33. when did you start tumblr? why did you decide to?

because I wanted to get to the source of da memes 

34. what's your face care routine?

try not to cry when I look in the mirror :’) , and if I do cry I use my tears as a moisturizer 

35. freckles or dimples?

F R E C K L E S 

36. name something you think should be banned from the universe

Tronald J. Dump 

37. tell us something you did as a kid that you loved

I loved to catch frogs and I read a lot of books homie 

38. mom or dad?

mom 

39. do you buy expensive things just for the aesthetic or do you actually use everything you buy?

I literally don’t use any of the things I buy except for clothes damn I have a problem 

40. tell us about something you're strongly opinionated about

I already answered this in a previous post

41. do you take peoples advice or do you have to figure things out yourself?

I ask for advice from multiple people, and then I sort of find a part of all the advice that has common ground and try to apply it to my situation 

42. bra or no bra?

no bra 

43. would you rather be cute or comfy?

HONESTLY COMFY IS CUTE SO HECK OFF 

44. tell us about a moment in your life where everything went just perfect

I don’t remember 

45. do you believe in anything? aliens? god? bigfoot?

I’m a Sasquatch bitch. Also, aliens are out there soooo 

46. how much water do you drink a day?

Not enough @doctormelapples

47. how do you feel about your natural hair?

I miss it. I used to have some curls in my hair, but I dyed it so much that the texture of my hair changed a bit. 

48. what does the sky look like right now? clear? cloudy? pink? blue? rainy?

It’s a very light blue with some spaced out cloud placement 

49. would you be a prince or a king? princess or a queen?

None of the above, that’s too much pressure 

50. tell us about your favorite outfit!

Off the shoulder gray knit sweater with black ripped jeans

51. name a few things you love about yourself

My eyes, my freckles, my humor, my creativity, and my determination 

52. are you open-minded?

Yeah my dude 

53. do you judge? could someone come to you in any situation they're in and you not judge them?

I really try not to be a judgmental person, but everyone has flaws and it’s definitely one of those things that I’m working on. 

54. do you like planning ahead?

I HAVE TO 

55. tell us how you feel about school

stop

56. talk about your first pet

A small orange cat named Angel. She was satan i swear to god 

57. chocolate or strawberry milk?

chocolate 

58. were you/are you in a fandom? if so, what?

A GOOD AMOUNT 

59. spotify, pandora, or itunes?

I’m a spotify kinda bitch 

60. favorite disney princess movie?

The Princess and The Frog 

61. favorite disney movie

Bolt 

62. what's a subject that you think people don't talk about enough?

English 

63. how long does it take you to let your phone update?

Idk, 20 minutes? 

64. describe the fifth picture on your phone!

A blurry tree with string lights hanging from the branches. Taken at 2:04 am, August 16th, 2017 

65. favorite movie and why?

I hate this question because I am a film enthusiast and honestly I love too many movies for such different reasons 

66. do you watch studio ghibli? what's the first one you saw? what's your favorite one?

Not really, I just never got into studio ghibli movies 

67. you're home alone. describe how the setting is. music? what kind of music? tv on? what show?

Music: loud

TV: on

Movies: playing

bra: off

Food: eaten 

68. how often do you say "i love you"?

Too much and not enough 

69. do you have any weird things you obsess over?

p e n c i l s 

70. do you like being single or do you wish you had a partner?

depends on the day idk

71. what's the last drink you had?

a caramel macchiato 

72. talk about the easiest person to talk to

she’s a real ass bitch and all around classy gal 

73. give us some of your favorite blogs!

@doctormelapples, @parkersenses

74. if you could have one wish, what would it be?

Wish for free college and a successful future thx

75. do you sing in the shower?

It’s best for everyone if they never know 

76. how often do you shave? or do you wax? or do you not shave?

I shave according to my outfit choice 

77. tell us about a habit you wish you could stop

I wish I could stop tapping on everything 

78. do you listen to your own advice?

No, I’m not a stable person thx 4 asking 

79. do you love yourself? if not, are you trying to?

It’s a work in progress

80. tell us about your favorite halloween!! what did you dress up as? did you get a lot of candy?

When I was younger I used to have these poppin halloween parties and one year I had a haunted house and dressed up as a haunted doll it was fun tis all 

Also, I was late to my own party 

81. first memory that pops in your head, talk about it.

First day of school in my junior year. I was late and have been late every first day since then.

82. how are you? what are you feeling? how has your week gone?

I think things are going well 

83. rant.

It’s almost impossible for me to rant? So thank you, but no thank you 

84. do you worry about something a lot? if so, what?

Already answered in a previous post 

85. do you think long distance works?

I’m sure it works for the right people 

86. would you date someone younger than you? older than you?

Yeah, I don’t really mind dating a bit out of my age range as long as our mentality matches?

87. name some people you'd love to meet

Tom Holland thx 

88. what were some things you were scared of as a kid?

My older sister’s scream mask and knives 

89. tell us about your favorite birthday

My friends surprised me with a birthday cake and a bunch of presents during my school lunch and the cafeteria sang to me?? I had v good friends. 

90. how is high school?

It was definitely a journey 

91. tell us the worst pick-up line you've ever heard

None of them because I have never had a pick-up line used on me. ehhhhh 

92. every been groped or catcalled? how'd it make you feel? what did you do?

People can be disgusting and they don’t understand that your body isn’t there just for them to touch, so fuck that person who thought it was 

93. opinion of feminism?

F E M I N I S M IS THE F U T U R E 

94. tell us about a time you got embarrassed

Today in class when I was late :’) 

95. ever had a pregnancy scare? tell us about it!

jinkies 

96. tell us about your best friend

All she talks about water but it’s okay because she’s pure and beautiful

97. what's your opinion on planning your life out?

I mean, it’s nice and extremely helpful to have a timeline or a potential outline for how you want your life to turn out. But don’t expect everything to go according to plan?? Like, just leave a bit of wiggle room in your future for unexpected adventures. :) 

98. describe what you think afterlife is like

energy cannot be created nor destroyed 

99. talking on the phone or texting?

Talking on the phone because I’m lame as heck over text 

100. how do you feel about the way most teachers treat students?

alReADy ANswerEd in a PREviOus PosT 

101. what's a word you use more than others?

H E C K

heck

heckin

hecking