#ALSO “i am court ordered” he thinks he's SO FUNNY (he is i love his dry ass sense of humor 🤣)

[lifemod17]

this is it. this is the interview ever.

if anybody needs me, I'll be watching this again and again

[azrielslightintheshadows]

Broken bat

Azriel x f!Reader

Summary; Reader is in love with Azriel but he is with Elain, so she decides to accept Beron's proposition and marry Eris.

Warnings; angst, swearing, mentions of blood.

Masterlist

Stars filled the sky in Velaris as the night settled in. You were sitting next to the window in your room, staring outside wondering how the hell you ended up in this situation. Your cousin Rhysand had invited you in his office to talk about a proposition from the Autumn court, Beron wanted you to marry his son Eris in order to maintain a peaceful relationship with the night court. You gaped at Rhysand not believing that your cousin was even thinking about it.

“It’s your choice, I don’t mind if you don’t want to do this but it is my duty to inform you about this” he had said. You knew Eris, you spent some time together a few months ago when you visited the winter court as Rhysand’s emissary. Eris was there to talk about some dispute between the Autumn and Winter courts. He was an arrogant male, nothing unusual for a high lord’s heir but he was also funny, and kind when he felt like it. It sure wouldn’t be a bad thing if he became your husband. You could think way worse potential marriages. You needed to think this through so you asked Rhysand to give you some time and he respected your wish.

The main reason behind your uncertainty was the stunning shadowsinger. You had been pinning after him for ages yet he completely ignored you.

You clenched your jaw at the thought and shut your eyes. Maybe marrying Eris was for the best, you could learn to love him and even forget about Azriel.

Dinner would be served soon so you gathered all your courage and walked to the dinning room. Everyone was already there and to your relief the seat next to the shadowsinger was taken by Elain leaving the opposite one free.

Any other night it would have bothered you but tonight you couldn’t sit next to him.

You stood in front of the empty seat and with a deep breath said “I have an announcement to make”. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at you, you felt those hazel eyes on you and gulped.

“Rhysand informed me about a proposition from the Autumn court, in order to make amends for the past and to create a peaceful relationship between the courts I am to be married to Eris”.

Everyone was gaping at you. Taking a seat, you filled your plate with food trying to avoid everyone’s gaze on you.

“Like hell you are” Azriel growled. You looked at him wide-eyed.

“It’s her decision to make Az” Rhysand replied for you.

“This is Eris we’re talking about” Azriel’s voice was rising with each word making Rhys glare at him.

“Why do you care?” Your question surprised everyone even the shadowsinger.

“Because you are Rhysand’s cousin and that makes us family too”.

You scoffed at this and got up.

“I lost my appetite, excuse me” you left the room. You heard footsteps behind you and rolled your eyes, before you could close your bedroom’s door scarred arms pushed it making you grunt.

“What do you want Azriel, I’m really not in the mood for a fight”.

He entered and slammed the door shut.

“What were you thinking when you accepted?” His eyes frantically searching your own. He wanted to read you, and this was something he was good at, so you kept your gaze on the floor.

“Eris isn’t that bad, and the marriage could be very beneficial for our court” your voice was calm “also I don’t have a reason to stay”

“What about Rhys and Mor? Your cousins need you”

“No they don’t.” You shrugged.

“What about me?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

You glanced at him “what about you?”

“I need you” he confessed, his hazel eyes staring deep into your own searching for any emotion.

“Az what do you mean?” You could swear your heart was about to explode.

He walked up to you, his eyes never leaving your own. He cupped your jaw and glanced at your lips “please stay” and with that he captured your lips with his own. The kiss was needy, his other hand moving behind your head and pushing you further into him. Your brain stopped working for a moment and then it hit you, you pushed him off and panted.

“No, you don’t get to do this. You don’t get to fucking do this, not with Elain in the other room” tears filled your eyes and you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“I…” he began but stopped, a guilty expression on his face.

“Get out.” He just stared at you. “Get. The. Fuck. Out.” And you lost it, you picked everything you could find and threw it on the wall screaming “Get out… get out… get out”.

Your door flew open, Cassian was standing there his eyes frantically scanning the room, Rhysand behind him with a dagger in hand. Azriel was pale, he couldn’t move as he watched you destroy your room. Cassian grabbed him and pulled him out while Rhys cautiously approached you.

“I hate him… I fucking hate him” you cried out.

“Shh it’s okay” Rhysand hugged you. “Talk to Beron, the sooner we have the wedding the better.” You whispered.

 ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You were getting ready for your wedding, Mor, Nesta, Amren and Feyre were running around barking orders and making sure everything was perfect. You glanced at the mirror, Beron had picked your wedding dress, and it was clear that he wanted to make a statement. The dress was even more extravagant than Feyre’s, you didn’t think it was possible, but you were wrong. You didn’t even know if you could fit through the door. “That thing is hideous” Amren spoke. Everyone nodded in agreement and before you could reply Elain burst into your room, her face filled with tears and panic.

“Azriel broke up with me, he was drunk and… and he left and then I heard Eris saying that he got in a fight with someone, and he is hurt.” She was sobbing.

You gasped “Where is he?” “It’s your fault” Elain screamed.

“Elain I swear if you don’t tell me where he is….” You were interrupted by someone walking in, not just someone but your future husband. Eris stared at you and amusement filled his eyes.

“Are you wearing our wedding cake?” he teased earning a scoff. “You look terrible darling” he continued. “You know its bad luck to see the bride before the wedding” Nesta spoke.

“I know but I think that the broken and completely drunk bat in my room belongs to her.” He said with a bored look. “What is he doing in your room?” you asked.

“He was hurt, and I think he wanted to beat me up, but he passed out the moment he walked in. Anyway, please come get your bat and spare me from this horrible wedding.” He turned to walk out “and burn this thing it’s hideous”. And with that he was gone.

You glanced at Feyre who nodded, and you ran, the dress was banging against tables, destroying everything on the way but you didn’t care.

You burst into Eris’ room and there he was; on the ground covered in blood, his hair a mess and his wings tense. You kneeled next to him and caressed his head “Az..” he opened his eyes and stared at you. You didn’t know what to say so you just grabbed his jaw and kissed him. “I love you” he whispered. “I know… I love you too”

Currently working on two requests one about Azriel and one about Cassian, I will post them as soon as I finish them. Requests are open

[the-kingshound]

Spoilers abound, and though I will try to be as vague as possible, I’m going to assume that I’ll probably get accidentally more in-depth, as I quite enjoyed myself. Feel free to hang on to it until more people have read, I’d understand.

The wedding was good, it has a bit of a dissociative air to it that I think was a positive considering the circumstances the mc is in. I think the amount of story time dedicated to it is hits the sweet spot, since it is a political marriage of convenience rather than one of love and celebration. I’m liking the secretive/confidante air the siblings are taking on leading up to the meeting. It kind of makes it seem like the Camelot natives aren’t being ridiculous for trying to put distance between the Venegard family members (that and Ghaven’s gifts). It really shows how scared of the Venegard house in general that they are despite winning and despite not knowing who or if any of the other siblings are mages besides Adrei. Considering they are surrounded on all sides and literally smack dab in enemy territory, it really makes them look like cowards, though in the case of my MC their sheer size and demeanor probably makes it doubly hard to pretend otherwise. Can’t wait for MC to really use that to their advantage, after they’re done lamenting their current enemy #1 status (my mc especially since they wore the house colors).

I feel bad scaring the Pendragon mount but am having a lot of fun giving Arthur whiplash with my rough/stoic, militaristic MC (one second soft as can be for Mordred, the next scary, very very scary. They surprisingly share a lot in common with their House’s mount, it would seem). It’s not because I don’t like them, just because I think it’ll make a very funny story looking back.

“Can you believe I was afraid my bestie was gonna kill me/thought I was going to kill them mere minutes before our wedding?” He says, innocently, while the Hound wades through the blood of his enemies. “How silly of us,”

I’m enjoying Gywar’s scenes the most at the moment, but that’s because they hit a certain soft spot for me. MC is a sword, and that scene before the festivities is basically Gywar telling them that to them, they’ll need to be a shield. A guide, confidante, friend in exchange for a protection and the same in return. They seem to be scared to get close, but already hopelessly invested. It shows a vulnerability despite them very obviously trying to guard themself from the hound. Their desire to help is so earnest, and foreign that my mc finds themself in a similar position, yearning to earnestly return the sentiment while feeling like they aren’t emotionally built for that. They find themself at times, uncharacteristically softened, and at others characteristically direct in their desire to show Gywar that they’ve thrown their lots in together. It makes for a very powerful set of scenes (MC thinking of getting Gywar to rest the very second they’re allowed to, squeezed my little heart). Evaine’s scene was also v good, and my giant of a hound is on the look out for their bullies, Evaine is gonna make the shocked pikachu face soon because the second my hound figures it out, there’s gonna be a new world order in that court (goes for Yniol’s bullies too). Morien’s scene was more fun then I’d expected, and I wasn’t expecting them to make such polarizing and quick assessments of the MC (either A. You’re too cute to exist, or B. Nice, another bastard like me) but both made me smile. The scenes were really good at showing which ROs were more open, regardless of whether they were earnest and dispense their trust easily or not. Yniol was sorely missed, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they were A. Avoiding Nobles, B. Concerned with Overcrowding MC, C. Concerned with Bedivere’s likely change in body language, D. Using this opportunity to check on their kids, or E. Taking their duty too seriously and working

.

[moonlight-s0onata]

Anon said "Please can you write something fluffy with Neuvillete? I just got to the archon quest and his appearance totally deceived me to think he would be a meanie when he's such a sweetheart 😭 please tell me you are already on the quest but ignore in case you aren't, thanks in advance!"

Sure, I can, anon. I am in love with Neuvi after all, the archon quest just made me even more soft for him.

-Lumi 💫

After the Rain

Neuvillete (Genshin Impact) x Reader

Warnings: None

Fluff and a picnic.

You woke up at the sound of light rain. Yawning and stretching, you get up to look out the window. The clouds were heavy with no signs to stop soon, and you sighed. This was the third consecutive day.

For occasions like this, it was truly an inconvenience to live so far away from Fontaine's court.

You worked all morning on preparing many little snacks, some fruit salad and a patisserie you learned from your grandma, a great family secret. After that, you worked on packing it all on a basket, rushing out your cozy home and into the worsening weather outside.

- It's a miracle we haven't turned into fish yet - You sighed, quickly walking towards the closest aquabus station.

----

The Iudex of Fontaine was facing yet another day filled with trials and the dreading sense of not fulfilling his duty as he should, yet he wasn't sure of what the exact problem was.

The downpour worsened, and people grew a little more anxious. He also tried to stay calm, to no avail. Everything felt overwhelming. Maybe a break would be in order. He needed it more than everyone else.

----

As you got off the aquabus and into the lift towards the court, you couldn't help stop to fix your clothes and to check the little bouquet you put together from flowers in your little garden, you took a deep, determined breath and walked towards the gate.

- Y/N, good day, what brings you here? - The voice of the Chief Justice broke you out of your mind.

Walking towards him with an easy smile, trying to calm down your running heart. - Good day to you too, Monsieur Neuvillete- You were glad you seemed to walk in on break time. You raised the basket a little bit, his eyes following. -I thought it was a good day to enjoy a picnic over in Fontaine. Would you like to come? -

He raised an eyebrow, looking directly into your eyes with his piercing (beautiful) silver eyes, and you had to avert your gaze. - A picnic? In this weather? - He asked with a genuinely nice voice. He was always so kind, and your heart flipped again.

-A-ah, right...- You trailed trying to find an excuse -I... wanted to come even before the weather became like this... I had already made the food, and I was thinking about going to a place that had shelter from the rain- Every word came harder than the last, and you felt your face burn. Thankfully, he wasn't looking at you and he just hummed and nodded. - Then please lead the way -

----

You lay your picnic right below a nice pavilion on a park near the court, some otters playing around in the pond, and the rain just a light drizzle now.

You shared your food, talked about some funny and trivial happenings of your daily life away from the city, and made some easy talk that made him almost forget this was a break from one of the trials.

As you finished and put everything away again, you took a little box holding a couple more of the patisseries you made. Holding it for him, you smiled - I hope you ate well and had a good time. Thanks for accompanying me when you are so busy - you spoke sincerely, bowing lightly to him. He smiled softly, looking at the box in your hands and shaking his head. - Pleasure was all mine. Thank you for this time and for everything you shared with me today, from your food to all your stories -

- These are also for you, for when you need another break - You blushed lightly as he took it and gave you a gentle smile - Thank you so much, I will enjoy them for sure. Please, be safe on your way back - And with that, he turned around and left, walking back into the court.

----

Your trip back was uneventful and quiet, riding the aquabus and walking between the ponds and flower patches towards your home. Everything looked shiny, with a light coat of droplets that sparkled with the now present afternoon sunshine.

The sky was clearing and the clouds moved away fast. You smiled, looking at the beautiful scenery both in land and sky.

"When the Hydro dragon feels sad, it rains" Your grandma once said, as you looked out the window to the pouring rain. You turned to her with a surprised face, running to her.

- Then we must help him be happy again! so he can stop crying! - Little you said, with worried eyes, fisting into your grandma's skirt.

- Hmmm... You are right - She chuckled as she got up from the couch, and into the kitchen - and I happen to know a secret recipe that makes him all happy again - Those words made your face light up, jumping around happily.

- Then teach me! I want to help him so I can go play outside! - As you jumped and ran around with some ingredients, you learned how to bake a patisserie with a soft and sweet scent of lavender and honey.

That fond memory made you smile, reaching your home. After so many days, the rain finally went away.

When it rains, the hydro dragon is feeling sad, but he just needs some rest and a little treat to feel happy again.

[thebottomfromhell]

Headcanons

Traditional Courting [more or less], Demon Male Reader, but genitals are not specified (this one has no sexual content). This are Gyutaro and the Hantengu Clones.

Gyokko, Nakime, Akaza, Douma and Kokushibou are here.

Warnings: Cannibalism, Mentioned dead animals, Human death, Mentioned death of unborn fetuses, Mentioned kidnapping, Threats to reader.

Gyutaro:

When you first ask permission to court him, he thinks it's a joke, and a funny one. He laughs hard and every time you try to explain he keeps laughing.

Then you ask permission to him and he realizes you are not joking. You managed to get Daki to help you to see him, but she thought you would get rejected.... technically for a second time. She stormed out with a tantrum, not wanting to share her brother with you, as he gave you not only the permission, but ordered you to court Gyutaro. To be honest you don't know what of yourself caused such an impression to him, but it's not like you want to back off, or even have the choice right now. [Muzan actually just wants you to get a strong bond with Gyutaro for him to be able to use you to "convince" him to absorb Daki :( ]

You start inmediately, more often than not he complains "just because you are a handsome, big and resourceful man doesn't mean you get to treat me like a girl, ne." You still don't stop to offer him to walk together, or bring him gifts.

It doesn't take you long to discover what gifts he actually likes, he prefers dead animals or dead people over anything else. He likes to keep the first, specially if they are pests, to be honest the worst thing you gave him was a snake and a mantis, both reminded you of him and he loved them. "If I am a mantis I might as well eat you sooner or later" he jokes, wincking, actually starting to like the attention. He eats all the humans you give him once you discover his taste, he likes ugly and deformed body parts, but the sweetest thing for him are organs, specially healthy and full stomachs, he likes the acid flavor in his mouth and how abundant it is.

You refrain to touch him as much as you can, not because you are disgusted but because he doesn't like touch. But that is a lie, Gyutaro is actually touch-starved, but you let him start any contact between you two. You are as respectful as you can, that at times makes him taunt you "Such a good husband you are, but here you are courting the ugliest of all the Red Light District instead of some pretty girl. Ne?"

To convince Gyutaro he is not ugly is both impossible and unnecesary, while he feels a bit shameful at times, he would not change his appereance for nothing. He doesn't know why, but it makes him proud. You let him have this self-denigrating humor he has, even though you don't find it funny, which is good because it might actually hurt him if you did. You also praise him a lot, not on his appereance since that makes him upset, he neither thinks you are lying out of pity or as a joke, he would feel it as condescending.

He likes when you tell him he is a good brother, that he is a good fighter, that he is powerful and scary. He also likes the promises of aid and company. At the end, once you prove you are honest and willing to make some few compromises for him, you're in his heart. He has very few things he cares about, much less people, so once the barriers are down, he is nothing but good with you as long you don't hurt him.

Daki, on her side, is a menace, thanks to her the courting is lasting forever, as Gyutaro doesn't dare to fully accept you without her approval even when you finally managed to get him to like you back. [Be glad, that is honestly what is saving you all from Muzan]. There isn't even a thing as marriage between demons! But still, when she is not looking, Gyutaro sometimes calls you "husband" as a playful nickname, since it's mostly a game where you need to make sure Daki doesn't hear him. She would make the biggest tantrum ever. [And Muzan would know he can get what he wants from you 💀, better stay courting and flirting forever]

It takes an infinity of time before Daki warms up to you, but even then, she doesn't want to share Gyutaro. It has always been them together and she hates the change. She will get used to your presence, but will still compete for Gyutaro's attention and time no matter what you do, and if he has to choose, she will always come first. "Don't be mad, but she is my little sister, ne. She is everything to me, ne."

Sekido:

{It was complicated to convince the clones to remain separated, the lack of the surprise element it's just something that scares Hantengu. You don't even know how you manages to find and face him again and convince him to order the division of the clones, but you did. He, on the other hand, did not care. At all. That you wanted Hantengu (or at least part of him). He actuaĺy wondered if something is wrong with you and if it's bad enough that he should kill you. But again, doesn't really care, just let you do as you pleased as long as the clones started to take advantage of the numbers and look for the damn Blue Spider Lily.}

Sekido constantly rejects you, and each time he is more aggresive. It just starts with a "You think I'm taking a woman's role for a guy like you? Do you want to anger me or what?" It gets to the point that if he is not in love with the gift you gave him or not manage to get the food the exact way he likes it, he will destroy whatever you give him, or worse, give it to Karaku and Urogi if he gets the chance, and they neither end up destroying or loosing the gift. And food, what food? There is no food leftz there was never food to begin with, but of course they didn't eat it..... (they are the dogs.)

The only thing you have seen him eat are brains of intelectual and near the middle age men, but only when it's still pink and full of blood, for some reason judges in particular seems to make it like the food more, but you never figured the change in taste a job could give. Also, he likes coins, for some reason. Old coins, foreign coins, high prize, low prize, new coins, big ones, small ones, ugly ones, pretty ones, hold, copper, anything, he keeps them all, counts and clean the collection.

Also, when you become insistent on the gifts and proposals he gets even more annoyed and angry with you, leading him to attack you both physically and verbaly. "You think you are doing something? You are an annoyance and a burden! Go to pester somebody else, damn okama!" So it's better to give him space and breaks from you after every interaction. [Okama is how drag queens or very femenine gay men are called in japan, but the word is a slur for queer people, please never use it.]

To actually get him to warn up to you you must befriend Hantengu and the rest of the clones first, which takes a lot of time and effort since now they are all separated and doing their own thing and the main body resents you for making him order the separation of the clones. In the end, Aizetsu takes pity of you and helps to with the others (he is also the one that told you about the coins, he's very helpful). "I see you are keeping the others out of trouble. Don't get it over your head, but I can appreciate that." He starts liking you back the moment he realizes he doesn't have to worry as much for the others with you helping around. He can actually relax for a while and be less angry all the time.

After a while he ends kidnapping a priest for both of you to have a ceremony, one he organized without letting you do anything. He enslaved Urogi, Karaku and Aizetsu for them to help him make everything the way he wanted and actually surprise you with "If this is what it takes for you to make my life easier, then fine. You will be my husband." You both eat the priest at the end of the ceremony.

Mind that while it was hard for him to catch feelings, loosing them will not be even ⅓ of the trouble the courting was. One big mistake, like not listening to him or forgetting something important will not be tolerated, if this behavior remains he will throw you to the sun. You spent more than 5 years courting him, so don't mess it up.

Karaku:

{It was complicated to convince the clones to remain separated, the lack of the surprise element it's just something that scares Hantengu. You don't even know how you manages to find and face him again and convince him to order the division of the clones, but you did. He, on the other hand, did not care. At all. That you wanted Hantengu (or at least part of him). He actuaĺy wondered if something is wrong with you and if it's bad enough that he should kill you. But again, doesn't really care, just let you do as you pleased as long as the clones started to take advantage of the numbers and look for the damn Blue Spider Lily.}

Karaku. Is. Greedy. Very greedy. The second you ask to court him he laughs happily "Sure, show me how enamored with me you are, lover-boy~". He takes every gift (even though there are times he looses them, which frustrates him at times but recieving a new gift or something to eat for you always makes him feel better, specially if you don't get mad at him) and every piece of flesh you get him.

Karaku, even though he doesn't use most of them, likes lavish and expensive stuff. Bath salts, jewelry, robes, essential oils, and other luxury items, he also thinks stolen goods are better than buyed ones, he laughed and joked about it when you asked. "If you are capable of stealing their stuff maybe you'll have a chance stealing my heart. C'mon, show me you are a bad boy and I'll show you I can be a good wife~" He also eats anything you give him, but he has a giant preference to fetuses and unborn children for some reason, not pregnant women, fetuses and unborn children. Obviously that is really hard to get, but you did manage twice or thrice.

Another thing is that he not only flirts back at you at every chance he gets, but also from time to time he likes to get you food and gifts. He is actually very romantic in that aspect, giving you flowers, reciting poems and philosophical quotes (he tells you he made them, since you don't remember human literature you can only believe him [he did not]), spending quality time together and so. And at time together, it's not just quality, it's also quantity, he spends most of his time with you. "Flower, what flower? The only thing I need is you, handsome~" He uses you as an excuse to procrastinate, which most of the time gets you in trouble with Sekido, who resents you for it...... it's a work in progress.

Still consider, while he does this, it doesn't mean he has fallen for you already, or even likes you the same way you like him. He is just chasing a good time, so if you want this to work instead to look for genuine feelings you should just entertain him. He barely knows your name until much later (that is why he ALWAYS calls you petnames, and the fact he likes them). When time passes and you are alredy fully integrated in his life, to the point you are even part of the life of Hantengu and the rest of the clones, is that he realizes "Holy shi- I think I actually like you."

Actually, the courting doesn't last that long, less than 4½ months, specially when you reject having sexual intimacy before marriage. It's fine, if he gets bored he can only throw you to the sun or the demon slayers later, he doesn't need to think much about it, but while you are courting him mostly traditionally, he wants a relationship upgrade, and he wants it soon. So it's surprise when he makes a- "Hey babe, I made a surprise party, a surprise wedding! You can thank me on our honeymoon~" but you should have expected something like this when he dissapeared for more than a week. You still have to win Sekido over by the time you both marry :(

On the good side, he does eventually catch feelings, and the wedding was nice :)

Urogi:

{It was complicated to convince the clones to remain separated, the lack of the surprise element it's just something that scares Hantengu. You don't even know how you manages to find and face him again and convince him to order the division of the clones, but you did. He, on the other hand, did not care. At all. That you wanted Hantengu (or at least part of him). He actuaĺy wondered if something is wrong with you and if it's bad enough that he should kill you. But again, doesn't really care, just let you do as you pleased as long as the clones started to take advantage of the numbers and look for the damn Blue Spider Lily.}

Even with his wings, Urogi falls, and falls hard, fast and deep. The moment you asked to court him, you won his interest. The second you give him food and gifts, you won his stomach. And the moment you started saying pretty promises to his ear, you found the stomach you won he had his heart. He easily becomes very needy and spoiled.

Urogi's favorite meal, you learn rather fast, are the eyes, tongue and fats from young people, specially in their face, and he likes to take the nose too. "Those parts are so cute I can't help but wanting to grab them!" On the other hand, the gifts he likes are dead animals, mostly the ones that are part of the bird of prey's diet, and anything shiny. Jewelry, coins, metal decoration items, blades, trinckets, even trash and leftover, as long as it's reflective, he wants it. "Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! I want it! You said you would be my suitor, that means you must suit me! So do so and gimme that golden tooth you found in your dinner!" He also accepts very giddy soft items, like pillows, comfortable clothing, strings, feathers that are not his, animal skin, and so. The thing is that he will destroy everything you give him.... to build. Nests.

Usually tearing down with his talons, fangs and soundwaves he tears apart averything you give him, and if he is not eating it, it's going to the several nests he started to build all over Japan, big enough to have two people (his idea was to have enough space for him to stretch with half-way eaten corpse besides him.) "Just the idea makes my heart sing of joy! It's like being rich and having several houses! One in the mountains, one in the beach, one by a river, one near a city, and more!" He has let you into one of his nests, for your surprise they are very comfortable, retain the warmth and it's a padded surface. He also has offered sleeping together, but wanting to finish the courting, you tell him you want to wait until marriage, he taunts you for that. "Well, aren't you a responsible and suitor? I hope you actually become more dutiful of what I want once we marry."

Urogi also loves petnames, you find out soon enough, both recieving them and getting them. He likes when you call him bird related nicknames like "birdie", "songbird", "feathers" and so, but the one that specially gets him giddy is "baby bird". "Yes sir, I'm your baby bird! Call me that again!"

You are the one that, when the time is ready and you have been given all the family's blessing, you ask for his hand after the year or so of courting. He lets you prepare the ceremony, his only condition is that he wants everything shiny. Or at least as much as possible. It would be almost impossible for him to fall out of love once you reached this part, you would need to break his heart into pieces and even then there is a bigger chance that Karaku and Sekido would do something about it than Urogi himself. Again, he is very needy, so you must take care of him.

Aizetsu:

{It was complicated to convince the clones to remain separated, the lack of the surprise element it's just something that scares Hantengu. You don't even know how you manages to find and face him again and convince him to order the division of the clones, but you did. He, on the other hand, did not care. At all. That you wanted Hantengu (or at least part of him). He actuaĺy wondered if something is wrong with you and if it's bad enough that he should kill you. But again, doesn't really care, just let you do as you pleased as long as the clones started to take advantage of the numbers and look for the damn Blue Spider Lily.}

Aizetsu doesn't really know how to react when you ask permission to court him, at first it's embarrasing that he is taking the traditional female role before a man like you, but he barely protests. When you start courting him, he realizes he actually likes to take that pasive role. He doesn't really has to do anything, and the attention is a nice one, a kind and peaceful one. The gifts and foods leave him touched, specially since you make the effort to know and get what he likes.

His taste in food is weird, he likes old people, specially men, aged enough to be bald and wrinckled, he likes the heart and the skin. "It's soft and very easy to tear, I also like the feeling of the veins exploding in my mouth...." he defends himself weakly, but he himself can't explain why human so similar to Hantengu are his appetite. He likes comfortable, warm and soft things, pillows, clothing, sheets and plushies, things he can hug, warm up, hide and cuddle with when he is feeling specially down. "Thank you for getting this robe for me, I know we don't need to cover up for winter, but it's very soft and nice. I like it." He takes care and uses all of the gifts, and if one can't be maintened or fixed if he encountered a slayer while having it around, he never throws them away. He even keep the ones he didn't really like that much. Also, unlike the other clones, he likes living things, animals and plants, alive.

You started to get him small wild animals that you release at the end of typur encounters (you don't need to spend that much time hiding them from Sekido, Karaku and Buddha forbid Urogi to find them.) You usually keep literally catching butterflies for him, he loves all of them. "It's so sad how short their life is, specially in this beautiful form. I really like them, but they deserve to at least be free in this violent world. Still, thank you for the time and the effort."

Courting is rather simple with him, as long as you treat him gently and kindly, he suits himself just fine. From time to time he is the one to take initiative and start contact. You know you did a good job the first time you had him crying in your arms, because no matter how sorrowful Aizetsu expresses he is, he doesn't cry before others. If he fears to appear weak or being berated for it, it doesn't matter, but the fact is that he trusts you.

He specially likes your baritone voice whispering against his ear as you help jim to calm down, sweet promises from your mouth. Company, stability, love, comfort, warmth and tenderness. "Most men, both demons and humans, I have met are loud and aggressive, one way or another.... you are very soft with me. I like it." He is used to be the push-over between the clones, so having you this way leaves him content.

It takes a bit over two years for the courting to end and finally marry, you already having all the blessings you need by that time. You asked if he wanted the ceremony around the year and al half of courting, but Aizetsu was afraid this interested and sweet suitor you were would become a complacent and distant husband. "I can't hurt you or kill you if you decide you already did your part, I can't even let Sekido, Karaku and Urogi do it for me. You ruined me."

He needs to be taken care of, Aizetsu is sensible and even after the wedding you must change the least possible your behavior to not scare him with the idea you will neglect him once you already get what you wanted. As you plan the ceremony you comfort him and show him you are still listening to him, you make sure all his needs are and will be met. He has become rather dependent on you and your promises, and to break them would be breaking Aizetsu's heart irreparably.

You have a peaceful wedding, with an old and slow-speaking priest that because of his age didn't even realize the situation he was in. While Aizetsu felt a bit of pity, he also felt hungry, besides you worked hard to get his taste. He is grateful and loving towards you, his now husband.

BONUS: Gifts and meals for the children!

Daki likes to eat skin, the prettiest, smoothest, cleanest, healthier and palest skin, specially from young women, hopefully ones that smell near their period. She is also very picky, one wrinckle or mole is enough to ruin all the plate for her. She also likes eyes, the left eye is always her favorite, for some reason. For the gifts, she likes expensive and beautiful clothes, make up, essentials oils and jewelry, anything else she will be throwed away.

Zohakuten is very picky as well, he eats humans he deems as bullys, but these must also have certain strengh level, be male, adults, height more than 5'5¼ and smell sweaty. Thank heavens the clones don't fuse that much, because it's so bad he NEVER eats anything else. Giving him gifts is easier, he actually likes wooden toys a lot, more drums, figures, swords, if it's made of wood he likes it. He also loves small animals, let it be miece, kitties, puppies, some snakes and lizards. He likes them alive, give him something dead and you are next.

[horizon-verizon]

I'm still trying to see this complexity that TG has, and that's why TG stans like them?? Alicent changes her opinion and personality every hour, is the complexity of her still having any consideration for Rhaenyra? not have imagined that a war would start? or just have the same crying expression? Please....!! What complexity does Helaena have? supposedly having dragon dreams and not knowing how to interpret them? the girl doesn't say anything in 1S and everyone just thinks she's weird, she doesn't do ANYTHING! Aemond's complexity is that he was bullied and became a presumptuous arrogant who killed his nephew? and I'm not even going to talk about Aegon..... he's an abusive drunk but yes.... he's a complex character

A)

I think that "interesting" for them is actually"potential for high drama, spectacle, and foolishness just because" for some TG stans who say the greens are more interesting. Yes, the green side is actually a complex group AND they rely on fear (amongst themselves and sometimes against the blacks) & strategy...because they have to strategic in order to try to justify some of their actions or wrest the power Rhaenyra's allowed or could accrue at court. To wittle her already-given status as heir to a more passive role. And beyond-court, they wished to convince the realm that Aegon was the rightful king both before and a little after he's crowned. The greens basically had the task to work past the whole "my heir should rule after me" deal that many lords wanted to stay as solid and meaningful as possible by precedent while also arguing on the precedent set by the GC of 101...which was itself a vote based on the adulthood as well as maleness of the candidate chosen. So, again they had to be strategic and shady and underhanded. And that will inevitably give us more drama.

Funny. Ironic.

We already know that the greens were not that successful with the convincing part even with Rhaenyra at Dragonstone and their long success at isolating her, bc it is only Alicent's move to hide Viserys' body, imprison courtiers and servants, hurry to search for Aegon that enables the greens to take the throne at the end AND Rhaenyra still was able to have many more supporters fighting before and after her death for her and her sons' claims.

Which if this is why you like the greens and not bc you think Aegon deserves the throne or ay sort of leadership [bc we see how unwilling and determined he was to not allow his grandfather to actually try to rule him in canon for the very paradigm that develops from Otto-Alicent's style & aims, they created their own monster], valid. I admit, they make the perfect antagonists & foils to the blacks and they do what they are supposed to do.

B)

People, not just TGs, have cited Alicent's past affecting how she views her own and Rhaenyra's motherhood, that chain of abuse. I'm fine with this, this is true. As for Aegon, I wrote a whole master post for what I think is his "deal" HERE, which is long but you can really sum it up as him trying to prove how great of a leader and man he is in lieu of the all the years he's been on the side and Rhaenyra was Viserys' heir. Yeah his life and misery and nastiness is in part bc Alicent wishes to prepare him to become king and "peacefully" reestablish the order of patriarchal feudal primogeniture/order so she'd not have to confront her own suffering and still materially benefit from it in "exchange". This sentence in itself reflects more on Alicent's complexity than Aegon's.

Aemond? Show!him, as presented, is interesting in that he's going to show a sort of vulnerability from his inflexible role as his side's militant "guard" and his worth being drawn mostly from that. He is there to be the support to Aegon's claim. hamliet describes what I am saying well. "Love is a transaction for the Hightowers". He seeks to "prove" himself and tries to make the glory of a warrior replace real love, but it can never so he's a ball of terror.

And love is a transaction, conditional and more so than on the black side because the greens really rely on putting their children's bodies to some sort of use, from Alicent to Otto to Aegon himself and there is no recourse or sign of deep bonds where each understands the other, comforts each other, reaffirms their emotions etc., or tries to make them happy just for the sake of it formed between any green member. (prob should have made this part part of the 1st paragraph but idk how to):

Helaena's body is made into a breeding machine for Aegon's claim for Otto

Aegon is a tool for Otto's desire to move the crown how he wants and is thus not really asked to be a great leader so much as it there & take his orders/suggestions

Alicent was a Helaena for Otto

Alicent uses her kids to stick it to Rhaenyra (show & book) or else ignores them bc of the troubled context from how they existed even as she genuinely loves them

Daeron--if the show will show that dynamic b/t Daeron and Ormund--is suggested to be more of a tool for his way into high prestige behind Alicent and Aegon's own rise, which is why Daeron's sent to Oldtown in the first place, away from his own family for years...yes I know about fosterage, but I'm speaking to the effects this has on the actual bonds b/t these family member s being reduced to transactions towards their goal towards power

So this troubling, repression, and denial of love is itself intoxicating, and thrilling to people who even don't have to be part of any team. I don't blame them.

C)

This issue for me is then:

Alicent could have been a lot more coherent without the inherent benevolent sexism of her becoming Rhaenyra's only friend and underdeveloped writing that makes her a lot less rational, deliberate, & mentally vulnerable to manipulation than she was in the book....all of which undermines her "complexity" bc she becomes less active as a character much sooner than she does in the book

people say all this ethically justifies the greens' actions, determine that their moral examinations of psycho-social conditions yield the correct and only conclusions to then just reveal that they just want their thoughts to be the general thought in contrary to the evidence in text, or hide behind their real biases and need for validation of those biases through the greens

Don't get me wrong, the black side aren't angels and do heinous actions...but it is simply true that they do not create the conditions for the war to begin and are also reacting to the usurpation.

Moreover, the blacks are pretty open when they can be to be about their actions and Rhaenyra is also already the heir. But the show didn't explore her life as a mother, what her relationship to womanhood as a mother AND heir looks like without Daemon there, or her kids' development after episode 5:

Rhaenyra being reduced to her body (advertisement of "Realm's Delight"; affairs and talk of them)

her kids' understanding, more of this from episode 6 and how exactly they interacted with Alicent's sons...how does Aegon enlist them and their frustrations against Aemond and from their perspective; court interactions, including those with Viserys and Harwin or any of the Strongs; education

Rhaenyra's perceived lack of ability that really just comes from her society evaluating her gender

[book] how she forms bonds with women around her, her relationship with Daemon and their journey towards each other, her relationship with the other Velaryons (Corlys and Laenor)

Daemon as a father -> how he "settles" but not really -> how he navigates/learns to raise another life form(s) & instill pride in their heritage and family after years of his beef with Viserys and losses and his resentments he tried to allay or "make up for" through social advancement and by becoming a warrior/has moved for mainly his own validation [idk how to say this concisely]

how he met and developed whatever relationship he had w/Laena...Corlys and Rhaenys' reactions to that (yes, bring Daemon & Laena back from Essos sooner)

The blacks comparatively do not have to be as underhanded and sneaky, and yet you will also have green stans argue that they are entitled, malicious, terrible threats to a perceived order (a projection--the greens are more that bc they are going against the king's word and what I said above about heirs and precedents).

This and majorly bc of how much opportunity we lost from the writing of this show focusing on developing the greens is also why they appear as "boring" or uninteresting while overbearing, scheming, manipulative agents of destruction at the same time to some people, even though they have more than their fair share of drama and angst from the very hierarchies they are perceived to totally benefit from.

[christopher-bangnaldoskzz]

Soft Dom Bangchan x Female Reader Sub!

Genre: 🌶️🌶️🌶️

Word count: 3k

Warnings: oral sex (female and male reserving), fingering, orgasms, sexual content included I am going to say this is strictly 18+ MDNI fan fiction. 

Summary:A sub needs a dom, a dom wants a sub but what happens when feelings overlap with contracts and love creeps in? Will a contract remain only a contract? Or are emotions like love too hard to keep in check?

A/N: would also like to dedicate this story to @daceydeath, thank you for always putting up with my deluluness, also thank you for putting up with my drama fill life honestly. I wouldn’t be still writing if it wasn’t for you encouraging me. Also thank you so much for writing my summary xx

Y/N POV 

Chris drives you back to your house, spitting out the front. “Wait, I’m going to walk you to your door”, he smiled, getting out and opening your door. 

Chris walked you up the steps as you found your keys. "So you sure you don’t want me to come in?” He said, walking closer, making you fumble for the correct key. 

You said, "I'm sure," after you had found the key and putting it in the lock. 

“Not even a goodbye kiss for your master?” He said, raising his eyebrows.

“Nope”, you smile in his face before opening your door, Chris grabbing your wrist. 

You turn your head to look at him as he leans in. You pull your wrist free and step inside. Knowing full well Chris won’t come inside. “I’ll see you Friday,” you said before closing the door in his face. 

…………

CHAN POV 

“Hey, Grace…..could you maybe help me with something?” I had 3 days to get everything Y/N needed in order to feel comfortable at my house. 

“Sure, Channie, anything for you” Grace was a fantastic friend.

“I need Y/N to feel welcome, so could you help me maybe do some shopping for whatever she needs?" I wasn’t sure what I needed for her as I'd never provided anything for my girls before. However, I wanted to change things up this time. 

“Oh, okay....when do you need me?” She was eager to help. 

“Today if we could” I didn’t want her to think I was too excited. Honestly, I’m probably the most excited I’ve been. 

“Sure, give me an hour. I’ll meet you at the shop," she said before hanging up the phone. 

…….

I had a shower and got ready to head out to the shops. My palms are sweating. Am I doing the right thing? Am I moving too fast? Am I coming on too strong right now? 

These are the questions replayed in my mind all the way to the shopping centre. I sit outside the food court waiting for Grace to show up. 

“Channie”, I hear, looking up to see Grace walking towards me with a massive smile on her face. 

“Hey, Grace," I smile, but hiding my nerves is difficult. 

“What’s wrong, Channie?” She said, brushing my shoulder 

“do you think I've made the right choice….this isn’t coming on too strong, is it?” I was worried Y/N might not like my jester and leave me. 

“She will love it….hell, buy me some clothes. I’ll be your sub,” she winked at me. Grace was a rather charming person. 

“Ha, funny,” I said sarcastically.

She shook her head at me “okay, so let’s start with clothes”, she smiled as she grabbed my wrist.

Walking into the lingerie shop with Grace was probably the most nerve-wracking thing I’ve done. “Channie, these are so cute," she says as she points to the lace products. Imagining Y/N in these made my cock twitch in my pants “yeah, they are….do they have black and red” I smiled at Grace, who was jumping up and down. 

“Do you know what size you are looking for?” the shop assistant asked. I looked over at Grace, who knew precisely what size Y/N was. 

Grace grabbed a couple more things from the shop that Y/N might like, and as the shop assistant rang the clothes up, she said. “So, are you two love birds up to anything today?” 

Grace laughed. "Oh, we aren’t dating. These are for his girlfriend." She looked so shocked. 

“Oh, I’m sorry…usually couples come in to buy this stuff,” she said, packing it all in a bag. 

“It’s all good…how much did that come to?" I said, pulling my card out.

“$398,” she said as I tapped my card. 

“Thanks,” I said, grabbing the bag from her hand. Grace linked her arm with mine as we left. 

“So, clothes next”, she said, dragging me into a clothes shop. Grace liked to spend money, especially on other people.

“Here, Channie…she’ll need all of these”, handing me so many different kinds of shirts, shorts, sweatpants, hoodies. You name it, she pulled it off the rack. 

“Okay, I think we are done in here”, she smiled, leading me over to the counter.

“I don’t want to know….just tap my card,” I said, giving it to the girl before she could tell me the price. 

“Would you like a receipt?” she asked as I took my hand away from my face. 

Could you possibly put it in the bag?" I asked, closing my eyes because of the length of it. 

The girl rolled it up and placed it in one of the bags. "Thank you for your help," Grace said, smiling as she handed me the bags. 

“Please tell me this is it,” I said, begging at this point for my poor wallet. 

“Now, the essentials” what could she possibly mean by essentials? 

"Essential?" I ran after her. God, she is quick on her feet. 

“Shampoo, face wash, you know, stuff like that,” she said as she walked into a supermarket. 

I was at this point struggling to carry all the bags, so I grabbed a troll and followed her through the store. 

Ring ring 

“Oh, look who it is…must be her lunch break” Grace waved the phone in my face showing me Y/N's name. What could she be calling her about? Why isn’t she calling me on her break? 

“Hey babe,” she said, answering.

“She’s not yours”, I growled softly so only Grace should hear. Grace shoots me a look of confusion.

“So, did you sign the contract?” My ears perked up at the question. “Oh wow…..so it went well then?” What could she say if only Grace would turn the volume up so I could hear.

“Put it on the speaker", I whisper to her, and she turns away. First, who does she think she is? That’s my sub she’s speaking to. Second, THAT'S MY SUB. 

I tried to get closer, so I could hear, “YOU ARE KIDDING….HE DID WHAT TO YOU?…. I didn’t think Channie had it in him.”

“Oh fuck, they are definitely talking about what happened." Grace places her hand on my face and pushes me away for more space. 

My sweetheart, I'll call you back when I'm done....I'm just shopping. We can talk more, Channie, later." she replied. 

“Okay, you have to tell me what she said?" 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?" she scoffed. She’s not planning to tell me anything. 

“I would, actually," I scoffed back. I’ll call Y/N later. 

“Okay, we are done here”, all the different body washes and hair ties. 

“She’s lucky to have you, Channie,” Grace said softly as she waited for me outside the shop. 

“Well, that’s it, you have everything”, she smiled, hugging me tightly. 

“Honestly…thanks for your help today”, I smiled. I can’t, however, let go of what Y/Ns send about me.” Seriously, what did she say?” Grace just laughed as she walked off. 

……..

Y/N POV

Sitting alone in your house on this cold Wednesday night at roughly 7pm, you began to think about Chris and what he might be doing. 

“Fuck it, I’m trying to call him,” you said as you picked up your phone.

He answered within two rings. “Hello,” he said, breathing heavily. 

“Oh, sorry, did I interrupt something?” You felt stupid for calling.

“No…I’m just practising…what’s up….are you okay?” 

“Yeah…I uh….just wanted to uh.... see if you were still ok for Friday?” You panicked, god why did you say it like that? 

“Hahaha….I haven’t forgotten about it….I’ll be there at 5pm" you could hear the smile forming as he spoke. 

“Oh okay…..good…that was all really,” you said before hanging up on him. 

He called back immediately and said, "Hello." 

“Rule number one…..never hang up on me again”, he growled down the phone. Your body got goosebumps.

“Sorry, master”, you said, your voice shaking. 

“Good girl," he whispered down the phone line. The music faded into the background as he stepped outside. 

"Are you sure you're okay?......does my baby girl need anything?" You needed something from him, but how would you get him here? 

“I do actually….did you, uh, maybe, want to come over?” Without being too forward, Chris should hopefully get the hint. 

He was fumbling around for his stuff as he replied, "Oh ah...me coming to yours?". 

“Sir,” you said down the line.

"Mmm" he replied 

“After practice is fine”, you giggle.

“Right….haha…I’ll come over after practice”, he pulsed momentarily. “I’ll be there for at least another hour.” 

“That’s okay…I’ll see you soon.” 

……..

Knock knock 

"Come," you say, getting off your couch and walking towards the door. 

You opened the door, and there he was with his fluffy, freshly washed hair. "Hey", you smiled softly at him. 

“Sorry I had to shower,” he said as you opened the door to let him in. 

He stepped in and removed his shoes. "Should we watch a movie?" You know full well why you invited him over.

“Oh yeah…that sounds good” was he playing it cool or did he have no idea what you were up to? 

You take his hand and walk him over to the couch. He sat down as you walked to get some drinks. “Have you eaten?” 

“No, actually, I forgot," you think as you stare at how cute and fluffy he seems, and your heart starts beating a little bit faster. 

“Ramen?” You said, picking up a packet of dry noodles.

“Oh yes, please”, he smiled as you filled the pot with boiling water. 

You make the ramen handing Chris the bowl with chopsticks.” hope it tastes okay” you smile as he takes his first bite.

“Oh my god….this is amazing,” he says, chewing. 

“It’s just instant ramen," you laughed. 

"It doesn't matter. This is so perfect”, he continues. 

He sat and ate the ramen while you scrolled through Netflix, looking for something to watch. “Thank you,” he said, placing his bowl on the table. You turn your head towards him. 

He leans in and pecks your lips. You chase him as he pulls away. “Oh, I see….is this why my baby girl invited me over?” He finally caught on. 

You nod your head “yes, sir…..I need you,” as you run your hands up his thighs. “Please, Sir…..I’m desperate” Chris completely ignored you. It wasn’t until your lips hovered over his mouth that he grabbed your hands. 

“Ah, ah, ah…baby girl….this is not how it works….you don’t just get what you want because you start whining and pleading… if you want me to fuck you…. You're going to have to use that mouth first” you slide off the couch and onto the floor.

“What do you want me to do? Please sir,” you say softly, sitting on your legs before him. You look down at the ground and wait for his command.

Chris slowly pats your head “there’s my sweet girl” he uses his finger to lift your chin as he leans down. Suddenly, his lips hover over yours, and his breath hits your mouth as he says, "Undo my belt.". 

He sits back and slumps his body backwards, readjusting his hips so his clothed member is now inches away from you. “Go on….not so confident now, aren't we?" he says, looking down at his belt, then flicking his eyes back to you. 

You slowly unbuckle his belt pulling it out and dropping it on the floor “good….now undo my jeans” you loved how in control he was, knowing exactly what he wanted. Once again, slowly undo his jeans, pulling the jeans and his underwear down. He lifts his lower body so they both come off, revealing his huge cock. You gulp at the size, grab his shaft and hold it as you gradually lean in and start to lick his balls. 

"Mmmmm, baby girl”, he would moan, getting comfortable on your couch. 

You start to pop and suck his balls, making his cock erect. "Fuck, you are making me so hard,” he says, combing your hair.

Using your tongue you lick up from his striatum to the head wrapping your lips around his cock. 

Sucking the head of his penis while slowly playing with his balls. You begin to take more of him in your mouth, making eye contact as you bob. 

"Shit," he growled deeply. You could feel the vibration of the growl. His hands rack through your hair as he holds it in front of your face. 

His grunts continue as you begin to lick up his shaft. “Do you like that master?” You say, his head tilting back as he hums “you are doing so well” you smile as you continue, this time popping his balls in your mouth. His body twitches as he begins to get goosebumps on his legs. 

“Does sir want to come for me?” You whine as you start to pump his cock with your hand. 

“Not yet…keep going” he can barely get the words out. 

You take him deeper so the tip of his cock reaches the back of your throat. As he bucks his hips, you begin to gag slightly, and your eyes water. As he realizes his load down your throat, he says, "That's it ba...". 

“God….you are such a good girl”, he moans as he gets his breath back. His words give you goosebumps all over your body. 

“Come here,” he says, helping you up from the floor and pulling you onto his lap. 

You straddle him, your clothes vagina sitting on top of his throbbing shaft. He tucks your hair behind your ears. “Good girl”, he kept humming as he placed kisses down your jawline to your neck. 

“Don’t you think I deserve a reward, Channie?” you say, running your fingers through his hair. 

“Mmmmmmm”, he hums into your neck, gently kissing your neck and pulling your shirt down your shoulder, exposing your skin. 

“Take this off”, he growls as you rush to

Lift off your shirt.

Chris kisses down your collarbones and pulls your bra cup to the side, revealing your nipples. 

He uses his tongue to flick your nipple, your head flinging back as you moan. Chan shoves his mouth around your breast and sucks it, using his tongue to swirl and flick your nipples. 

You start to grind your hips, making his cock harden again. He unclips your bra and rolls it down your arms laying you down on the couch. 

CHAN POV 

Why do I always find myself giving in to her? She makes me so weak. Her lying in front of me half naked. I couldn’t help myself. "Take your pants off”, I growled as I latch back onto her breast. I could feel her beneath me squirming to pull them down. I sat up to help her remove her clothes. "Where's your bedroom?” This couch was too small for my liking.

“Down the hall and to the right”, she was out of breath. 

“Excellent,” I said while I pulled my pants back up and buttoned them. I picked her up off the couch, and she wrapped her legs around my hips. 

I carry her into the room and lay her on her bed, her legs still wrapped around me. "Let go”, I say, pushing her hips down. She unwrapped her legs as I knelt on the ground. By holding her hips to my face, I pulled her body closer to mine. 

Placing pressure on her lower stomach, I kissed her inner thighs. It has been a while since I’ve gone down on any girl, and needless to say, I was hungry for it. 

She was trying to move her hips while I slowly traced my lips closer to her core. "Don't move….or there’s no reward”, I would say, trying to assert some sort of control.

She immediately stops what she’s doing. "Good girl,” I say before I part her dripping lips with my tongue. 

Holding her stomach, I can feel her breath as she tries to hold back her moans. I lick upwards, swirling my tongue around her entrance before sucking her clit. 

“Mmmmm, sir, please”, she moaned as she ran her fingers through my hair. In most cases, I would not allow her to do this, but this once, I’ll let her massage my scalp. 

“Right there," she moans. I begin to pop and suck on her clit. At this point, she really couldn’t control her body movements. I wrap my arms underneath her and lock them in place so her lower body doesn't squirm as much. Her hand moves from my hair to grip the bed, and she lets go, her arousal dripping from her centre as I ride her through her high. 

“You taste so good,” I say, kissing her stomach, but I’m not done yet. It would be rude of me to just let her finish once. After all, she took care of me first. 

Y/N POV 

His fingers trace your inner thigh. He grabs your thigh and squeezes as he spreads your legs further apart. You gasp as he trances his fingers over your dripping pussy. “You started it”, he whispered into your ear. That should teach you to underestimate a pleasure dom. 

He kisses your ear before whispering, “does my baby need more?” You nod your head as he slowly slides his fingers into your core. 

"Oh," you moan as your body arches, allowing his fingers to slide deeper inside you. 

Using his thumb to circle your already-stimulated clit, he begins to finger you. Multiple orgasms are something you struggled having with your other doms. However, Chris seemed to achieve it quite quickly.

“Shit”, you breathe out as your body starts to shake. Chris would kiss you as he pressed harder on your clit while curling his fingers inside you hitting your G-spot perfectly. 

Moaning into his mouth, his breath brushing against your lips, "cum" he said, making you reliase around his fingers. It amazed you how easily he could make you orgasm without trying. 

“Good girl”, he smiled before kissing you again, pulling his fingers out. 

Fully satisfied with yourself, you begin to giggle. "What?" Chan says, placing his hand on your hips.

“That wasn’t a part of my plan tonight”, you grin before pecking his lips. 

He began to laugh “well, that will teach you” he rolled you on top of his body, and you are now sitting directly on his clothed groin. 

You lean down to kiss him while you begin to roll your hips. Chris broke the kiss “we will get you cleaned up... were is your bathroom” 

A/N: thank you all for reading as always liking, rebloging and commenting is appreciated. 

Master Taglist : @bellamuerte1987 @nightrayseishina @shellyyy177​  @9900z @armystay89 @dreamstarsandskz @fosfopirite @neyangi @princesspanda16 @krishastumblernow @agnes-king @bangtanmix73 @djeniryuu @calicanbeevil @khemrose @fawnpeaks @missrobyn81 @dreambelieveinme @umbreonwolfy​ @jisungiexx

[wereallbooked]

Our January Wrap Ups!

In January, M read 17 books (everyone say thank you throne of glass) and H read 12! We read books like Onyx Storm, The Courting of Bristol Keats, Spark of the Everflame, The Ministry of Time, and Love, Theoretically.

Our Thoughts below the cut: (spoiler free until the very end, and only minor spoilers there!)

H’s reads:

The Courting of Bristol Keats by Mary E. Pearson: For some reason, the first 100-or so pages of this book felt WEIRD to me. I can't quite put my finger on why, but it was one of those reads where enough is off to make you hyper-vigilant about everything else in the book, and it killed my vibe...until we entered the second act. THEN, it ate and left almost no crumbs. (maybe 2 crumbs?) I really loved Tyghan. I REALLY loved Tyghan's connection to Bristol's lore (iykyk) and I thought the use of dual POV here was an excellent way to differentiate it from the romantasy market at large. 3.75⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Cruel Winter With You by Ali Hazelwood (M also read this, but she didn't want to count it. I am all about that Goodreads challenge): I don't know why, but I spent this entire read picturing Liam Mairi from Fourth Wing as the MMC, which probably added at least a star to my rating. Oops? I know a lot of people thought this man was creepy for his little photography habit, and I think in real life I would also be bothered. However, he is a man written by Ali Hazelwood, soooooooooo. 4⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Flawless by Elsie Silver: When I read this bad boy, it was baby's first cowboy romance! M actually gave this to me for Christmas because I made one too many "we should try a cowboy romance" jokes. While reading, I alternated between intense joy and wondering who Rhett voted for. I think the fact that he was Canadian helped. A little. As I have gone on to read more from this series, however, the things that bothered me about Rhett are only intensified by reading about his brothers (latent misogyny, anyone? a smidge? a hint?). I DID have fun, though, which is what matters in a book like this. I was a big fan of the whipped cream shenanigans. I am also a milk hater, so that didn't bother me too much. 3.75⭐️⭐️⭐️

Powerless by Elsie Silver: Here's my beef with this one: If you promise me a book about a virgin with a big age gap, I expect a book about a virgin with a big age gap. I feel like Elsie could have committed to the bit a bit more? She gave Bailey a funny mix of sexual promiscuity and innocence, which is FINE, but wasn't what I was expecting. Further, she seemed to shy away from the age gap a bit by making Bailey more "mature". I felt like she could have just....not? If you pick up the fourteen year age gap romance book and get offended by the fourteen year age gap...that's on you. I don't think THAT's the audience Elsie needed to cater to here, but that's just me. 2.75 ⭐️⭐️

Andromeda by Therese Bohman: I contain multitudes! The first half of this novel was really lovely. I really enjoyed the FMC’s (I believe her name is sophie? but we find that out on page 100 or something) voice and description of things. It felt almost Sally Rooney esque, and I am a huge Sally Rooney fan. And then, we got to Gunnar’s POV. I didn’t vibe with Gunnar. I probably should have anticipated this. There are few old men I do vibe with. However, Gunnar killed the novel for me. I got this from BOTM, and they advertised it as exploring themes of modernity. It DOES do this, however, the novels view on modernity and my view on modernity do not mesh. 3 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Favorites by Layne Fargo: This was my other BOTM pick this month! Again, I really liked the first half. It’s a Wuthering Heights retelling and the first half is much more loyal to the original story. The feeling of knowing tragedy is at the door but not being able to break through the pages and warn the characters was awful. I recommend! However, the late second and third acts diverge from the original novel, and in order to do so, fundamentally alter Heath (Heathcliff)’s character. This is all to say, I wish Heath was a worse guy overall. I get WHY he isn’t, though, especially after looking into Fargo’s backlog after finishing. Still, I was really disappointed with the novel’s end. 3 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Homeseeking by Karissa Chen: I really put off starting this one because I was intimidated by it. I don’t know WHY I was intimidated, but it was my BOTM pick for December, and then I let it languish on my shelves for weeks. I should NOT have waited!! It was a beautiful story with beautiful prose. I loved the excavations of Chinese history, the elevation of lesser known consequences of the Cultural Revolution, and the examination of the Chinese-American identity. GREAT stuff. 4 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros: This was my THIRD read. Originally, I gave fourth wing 4 stars, then 4.5 on my first re read, but this read pushed it back down to 4. The Empyrean series is my current fixation. I had no choice in the matter. My main blog is a fourth wing fanfiction blog. Violet and Xaden are verrrryyy important to me. However, the prose in fourth wing is so incredibly clunky. I get terminal red pen brain when reading. I thought a LOT about V and X’s chemistry while reading this time around (for fic reasons, LOL) and their big moments in the first half of the story arc didn’t eat like usual. The insta-lust wasn’t as bad as I remember it being, but then Violet didn’t really seem like she liked him ?? as much as usual anyway. HOWEVER, the second half of the book is where I USUALLY gripe about their development (re: all the actual relationship building happening off screen, what do they talk about, does xaden have a hobby) and on this read I actually caught a lot more of the minor references that show them falling in love! Casualty of the chaotic prose: it’s hard to catch a lot of the one-line mentions. 4 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros: This book is my baby and I love her. She’s the only girl in the world to me. I heard Lexi on Fantasy Fangirls describe Iron Flame as a transition book, and at first, I didn’t agree with this assessment. However, when I thought about it further, I think that’s why I love it so much. When I first read IF, my life was in a transitory period, and I also felt like my whole world had been turned upside down. A lot of people say X and V are annoying here. I, again, disagree. I raise you this: they’re just like me for real. Both of them and the way they react to things are EXACTLY what I would do. Maybe this is problematic, but I do NOT care. The problems I have with FW do all still exist in this one, but they don’t bother me. I don’t have red pen brain here. 6 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros (read twice. in a row. back to back.): This is our book club read, so we’ll have a separate post for her! However, I will say that my first read was NOT great. I care about these books (see reviews 8 and 9, LMAO) and I was wayyyy too invested in certain theories going the way I wanted (re: Halden and Xaden, specifically). I was so anxious that Xaden was going to do something drastic based on the way he was acting that the entire first read was a 12 hour anxiety attack. I originally rated the book 4 stars, and then, I was minding my own business a few hours after finishing. The ending crossed my mind, and I burst into tears. Repeatedly. At length. So then, I made it a 5 star! On my re read, I was experienced a LOT more of that five star feeling, until the last 100 pages or so when I once again succumbed to dread. A lot of the popular critiques of this book aren’t things I “agree” with. I didn’t expect “good” world building after books one and two, for example. The prose is what it is. But! More on that later. 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood: Ali’s best work? Dare I say? I ADORED this. Elsie is so me coded it felt like Dr. Hazelwood was in my walls. I LOVED how Jack handled her issues. I really enjoyed the sex. Ali is always so freaking funny. This has me cackling. This has me crying. Incredible. 5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

M’s reads:

*spoiler free until the end*

1. Kindred's Curse Saga

- Spark of the Everflame ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

- Glow of the Everflame ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

- Heat of the Everflame ⭐️⭐️

honestly was really excited to read this series bc i wanted to listen to ffg deep dives. i liked the first book well enough and i really liked the premise that the main character is a healer. the second book was good too i thought, and i was really propelled through the series because each book ends on a massive cliffhanger and i couldn't stand it. but then by the third book idk it all became too much - too much going on - too many bad decisions made by the fmc.

2. ACOSF ⭐️⭐️⭐️

love love the series but this was probably my least favorite book out of them all. it felt too long and honestly they fucked too much for me girl pls 😭😭😭 loved the sisterhood developed with nesta, gywn, and emerie and also her own sisters. as per my goodreads 3 stars for the plot and 5 for the sisterhood

3. A Novel Love Story by Ashley Poston ⭐️⭐️⭐️

really wanted to like this one because who doesn't like a book written about a book? but i just couldn't vibe with the fmc and mmc and i couldn't with how it ended.

4. Ready or Not by Cara Bastone ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

okay actually kinda throughly enjoyed this one and it was really fun and super sweet. loved the mmc and the overall nyc vibes. every character was quirky and unique and the situation was kinda insane which i lived for. i would read this again for a spark of joy.

5. All of TOG ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

no words. best series i've ever read idk why i didn't read tog sooner i was so missing out. every book was good in its own way. you didn't ask but here is my ranking of books in the series.

heir of fire

kingdom of ash

throne of glass

crown of midnight

empire of storms

assassins blade

tower of dawn

queen of shadows

*i have more comments on this series in the spoilers section*

6. Onyx Storm ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

most anticipated read fr. enjoyed it. loved the world building and xaden and violet in this. violet was truly girlbossing it up. ALSO loved ridoc in this he has my whole heart. I feel like we got to love all the side characters a bit more here so that made my soul happy. not sure where to rank it in terms of fourth wing and iron flame. i feel like i should have reread fw and if before this but i was too busy girlbossing it up with tog.

1. The Ministry of Time ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

was really not into it in the beginning probably because i haven't read lit fic in a while, but it def grew on me and the commentaries about being mixed race really hit home for me here 💔. def reccomend this to ur wasian besties because i almost cried.

8. Tethered ⭐️⭐️

this is your sign not to read books you see on tiktok because i was like oooh ahhh vampires i LOVE a vampire. not saying i don't love this vampire, but i couldn't get into it just based on the way the book was written and there's so many more books in the series i just knew i couldn't keep going through it. if you want a trashy wattpad vibe book (sorry if u love this book and i just called is trashy but its trashy in a good 2000s britney spears) kinda way.

**spoilers**

- kindreds curse saga: okay so my main qualm with this whole series is that by the third book the way the fmc acts just became too much and it's as if she's having no self-growth at all. like sorry for throwing tomatoes but she kept making decision after decision that led them running on their asses elsewhere. and it just never ended. ALSO i just couldn't with them fucking in the library after they fought a battle and then getting caught. PLS a library. anyways. also another comment is that i was really wanting to read this series because she was a healer but then turns out she doesn't even want to be a healer so i felt a bit sad about that in my soul.

- TOG: i have so many thoughts on this series my life is geneuinly changed thank you parents for buying me the box set for christmas because i could reread these books forever. what truly amazed me about these books were that characters i kinda disliked or hated (cough cough chaol) i truly came to love and understand by the end of the series which is so hard to do as an author i think. like i went from hatimg chaol in queen of shadows to feeling so sorry for him in tower of dawn. not that its not fucked up what he did to aelin and nehemiah but like you really get to empathize with him and his sitaution. and manon too! i didn't really like reading her parts at first but then i loved her by the end. and also i wasnt sure how to feel about rowan in heir of fire bc i already knew he was endgame but now i also love love rowan so much its like he's the perfect balance for aelin. also cannot express my love for the fmc that is calaena / aelin like she is amazing in every way possible.

[godlived]

                          in  another  universe  —  i  am  loved,  and  i  know  it

nicholas galitzine . demi man . he / they . wasn’t that nikolaj vlada walking the cobbled roads of coňstanja? it’s nice to see the lord of house vlada out and about on such a fine day as this. i’ve heard from the court spies that they are notoriously self serving, whilst also managing to be quite charming. the thirty year old is eager to explore bran keep. i heard that they themselves are divine ( salvator ). it’s funny, whenever i think of them, i think of a in another universe i am loved and i know it, long limbs and battered hands hiding within their bones nothing but a child playing at adulthood, i’ll cry about this earth in heaven too, like a bad dog — to become mean when he’s nervous.

𝓫𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓼 .

full name: nikolaj  cristian  vlada

nicknames: nik

age: thirty 

gender / pronouns: demi  man he  /  they

orientation: bisexual 

cccupation: lord  of  house  vlada

home: coňstanja

𝓹𝓱𝔂𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓵 .

eye colour: hazel

hair colour: black

build: slim,  athletic

height: 5′10″

piercings: left  ear

tattoos: none

distinctive features: high  cheekbones

face claim: nicholas  galitzine

𝓫𝓲𝓸𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝔂 .

trigger  warnings  for  death  of  a  sibling,  neglect,  alcoholism  *

when  is  the  last  time  you  felt  a  mother's  love?  you  think  that  you  were  fifteen,  and  it  should  be  alright  that  you  lost  it  from  then  on.  you  were  almost  a  man  grown,  you  were  strong  and  powerful  and  beautiful.  they  sent  you  off  to  the  academy,  fussing  over  you  and  ruffling  your  dark  hair  with  such  love.  they  kissed  your  forehead  and  told  you  to  write  every  week,  to  tell  of  your  adventures.  your  mother  weeped  when  your  carriage  left  for  the  mountains,  and  you  waved  excitedly  from  its  window,  looking  back  on  the  home  which  you  loved  so  dearly. 

it  all  turned  cold  but  a  few  years  later.  you  were  fifteen,  deep  in  your  studies  and  lost  within  your  friendships  when  the  letter  arrived.  your  little  brother,  this  tender  little  thing  you  loved  more  than  life  itself,  had  fallen  from  a  great  height  whilst  playing  in  the  woods,  and  broken  his  neck.  he  hadn't  died  on  impact,  and  your  parents  had  fled  to  the  academy  with  his  limp  body  in  their  arms,  begging  for  entrance  to  see  a  salvator,  to  see  you  —  but  they  would  not  grant  them  access.  you  were  busy  with  your  studies,  they  said.  they  were  sorry,  they  said.  they  had  orders,  they  said.

though  you  knew  nothing  of  this  interaction,  you  could  see  during  those  rare  visits  home  that  your  parents  blamed  you  for  not  being  there  that  day.  they  couldn't  look  at  you,  let  alone  touch  you  with  that  old  tenderness  they  had  once  shared  so  freely  with  their  beloved  children.  it  was  from  then  on,  you  could  not  look  at  them,  either. 

you  took  to  the  army,  spent  longer  than  your  six  years  there,  dedicating  yourself  to  the  defence  of  your  kingdom.  you  give  and  you  give,  you  try  to  find  something  to  redeem  yourself  with.  you  wish  for  your  mother  to  see  the  titles  after  your  name,  to  see  your  achievements  in  keeping  them  safe  and  warm  in  their  beautiful  home.  but  your  letters  go  unanswered,  and  your  pleading  is  ignored.  they  are  so  broken  down  by  this  terrible  loss.

returning  to  court  is  nothing  easy,  and  yet  your  parents  have  finally  written  to  demand  you  attend  the  celebrations  as  ordered  by  the  king.  it  becomes  clear,  when  you  come  back  a  few  months  prior  to  the  festivities,  what  your  parents  want  from  you.  there  are  fine  clothes  laid  out,  there  is  a  new  guard  by  your  side,  there  is  a  list  of  eligible  names.  but  who  would  want  to  wed  you?  the  man  who  could  not  save  his  brother,  the  man  who  drinks  too  much  and  cries  into  the  night,  begging  for  the  chance  to  do  it  all  over  again.  begging  the  gods  to  give  them  back  the  love  they  so  achingly  crave.

[dvar-trek]

Romance Roundup: Part 1

this summer, after succumbing to my knitting injuries, i fell into a romance novel rabbit-hole. they are like candy for me. they're low-effort, fun, a quick source of joy, and keep me from endlessly scrolling jpost for israel news. also i can usually finish one in a day or two. so all in all, i ended up reading a total of 90 romance/kissing books.

the stats:

84 queer

13 novella-length

4 that i really feel i gave a fair shot but didn't finish

the top 7 (in no particular order):

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland- a fantasy book wherein the prince and his sworn bodyguard fall in love. some light (as in dangerous but not overly complex) political intrigue. plenty of world-building, but the author doesn't ever bore you with explanations you don't want. the writing is a little clumsy at times, but in spite of myself i found this book and the characters so utterly charming.

Enlightenment Trilogy (Provoked, Beguiled, and Enlightened) by Joanna Chambers- takes place in regency-late georgian scotland. two men who are dedicated to their respectable (but very different) lives. in order to keep what's important to them, they each plan to go through life just having anonymous, one-off encounters with other men, and needless to say, they upend that for one another. features radical politics, arguments about what matters in life, george iv's visit to scotland, and confronting your past. i thought about this extensively, but i simply do not think i can describe the plot in a way that will be helpful. you are just going to have to trust me. a linked short story and bonus-epilogue-novella are also availble on the author's website.

10 Things That Never Happened by Alexis Hall- man sort of accidentally fakes amnesia to keep his asshole boss from firing everyone. only they end up sort of falling for each other for real. modern setting, funny and sad, and the kind of slow-burn romance that makes your chest hurt. it does take place over christmas, but not in a fluffy, christmassy way. like, even i, America's Number One Christmas Hater, who would never have touched it had i known about the christmas element going in, found it to be completely tolerable amount of christmas, and a thoroughly enjoyable book. i read everything on my top 7 list multiple times, but this is one that really rewards your second read-through.

Captive Prince Trilogy (Captive Prince, Prince's Gambit, and Kings Rising) by C.S. Pacat- fantasy setting wherein a prince is kidnapped and enslaved in an enemy realm, and eventually has to ally with his cruel captor in order to save his own kingdom. plenty of political maneuvering, military skirmishes, court intrigue, and secret night mission shenanigans (with disguises). another chest-aching slow burn that rewards multiple read-throughs. there's also a linked short story collection, The Summer Palace, which includes a bonus epilogue.

A Rulebook for Restless Rogues (book 2 in Lucky Lovers of London) by Jess Everlee- victorian-era romance, featuring drag, lifelong best friends, and some of the best (hottest) sex scenes on this list. the proprietor of an underground gentlemen's club for queer men fights to keep his club open and his people safe, both from the law and from the volatile aristocrat who owns the place. he also definitely doesn't have feelings for his best friend. anymore. probably.

England World (Think of England, and prequel Proper English) by KJ Charles- two excellent books; one a houseparty/treason investigation and one a houseparty turned murder mystery. as everyone knows, it's extremely dangerous to attend a houseparty while single, because you will fall hopelessly in love, but you will also be in mortal peril. i am. too fucking feral about these characters to say anything useful. i am completely aware that this does nothing to help my case, but i cannot help it. i am unable to be normal about them, even in the effort to convince people to read these books. also please note that even though the covers are. quite bad. the writing is excellent and well-researched. also also, there's a bonus epilogue on the author's website, featuring additional sex, good jokes, and bad poetry.

An Unnatural Vice (book 2 in Sins of the City) by KJ Charles- the whole trilogy is worth reading (in order!) but this is definitely the strongest of the 3, and i found it to be the most compelling of the romances. a victorian-era mystery/suspense series, featuring an inheritance plot, murders in the fog, and fake séances. a "spiritualist" who defrauds the wealthy and the investigative jouranlist determined to expose his tricks find themselves hate-fucking, running from murderers, arguing about class politics, and both saving and upending each others' lives.

honorable mention:

Sailor's Delight by Rose Lerner- #1 brain-rewiring book of the year. 1813 sailing master in the british royal navy and his naval agent fall in love. the book takes place over 1 week of shore leave (which coincides with the high holy days), although they have known each other (and known that they can never be together) for almost a decade. uh. listen. this book is both fun and well-researched, but it is not, like, Good™. there is a shirtless man on the cover and there's not even any fucking in the book. the main characters are named Elie and Augie which is completely unsexy. BUT. they changed my brain chemistry and i've plotted out their entire lives in my head from the moment they met and i'm fucking feral about them.

romance roundup part 2

[evermoredeluxe]

i have to get some thoughts out about the inner circle members and the dynamics between them (mainly ACOSF)

- first of all, i do think that the IC members can be self-righteous and think they know better always. and it doesn’t help that feyre’s love-driven mate perspective makes people mad about rhys not taking more responsibility and always being the hero.

- amren gets too much of a pass on things. i get that they love her and need her (esp because of the powers she had and the knowledge she has), but ffs you don’t always know better. sometimes power is not the only answer. also, love her, but should’ve remained dead oops

- on one hand, there’s an argument that the IC is being graceful to nesta (re: alcoholism, paying rent, etc), but on the other hand, they could be more understanding imo. elain is given endless grace and babied whereas nesta is not. i don’t like that rhys and amren viewed nesta as a weapon and something that needs to be trained so that they can use her. i get why they used elain to convince her to use her powers, but then rhys going on this thing about nesta having a choice… you damn well know it’s not a choice. in order to do something right in an extraordinary circumstance like war, it’s understood that you may do wrong by a person. i can understand that they don’t have many options, but then just be gray characters, don’t force that “we’re always perfect” bullshit.

- i actually am not upset by feyre not including nesta’s painting. sister dynamics can be harsh and weird. even in book 1, feyre hated them for not helping her, but still talked about how she loved them. she tried to include nesta in decorating, invited her to solstice and did other things, but when you’re being spat at by your own sister, you will do spiteful things in return to feel good. she still included a perfect room for her in the house despite being mad.

- i also think that feyre herself was tryna juggle being high lady and pregnant and felt pressured to “control” nesta due to that. inexpected a clash between being high lady and a sister. i don’t think it can be denied that nesta being an alcoholic, abusing NC’s money and being a bitch didn’t hurt feyre. and it can be forgotten that despite all her bravery, feyre is still young. i can get why she thought being with the priestesses would be healing for a person with trauma and how training can help you channel that anger and energy. so she forced that on nesta. so it’s complicated (which makes sense because that’s how it is irl too)

- i think cassian is stuck too much between choosing his family of 500 years vs choosing nesta. i think he’s not perfect at it, hence why all these complains about not being a good mate. but i think it’s realistic that he struggles with this because it’s natural it’ll take time for him to sort out his dynamics. his family always has a list of grievances about nesta to prove they’re right about her being terrible, and while some are unfair, he can’t always outrightly deny them. rhys and feyre were different because feyre is high lady, and has a streak for caring and being a savior (whereas nesta is not like that) and rhys is the high lord

- it’s funny for me to see feyre whackings about her destroying lives of the spring court common people, and what will she do for illyria, but… she literally became a high lady 1-2 years ago and she’s processing her own trauma and is dying with a kid, i get why she isn’t doing shit lol. i agree with the spring court thing (also, what of alis?!), but it’s been established that it takes centuries for change in illyria because of immorality. feyre is paid dust by illyrians, and rhys and cassian are already seen trying to implement changes so yeah.

- unpopular: i think the thing with nesta giving back the power to the cauldron in exchange for saving feyre made sense because so much of the theme around the books has been the cauldron hunting for its power back, and all of ACOSF was about how “like calls to like” (like nesta, i was tired of that sentence lmfao). i also think that people forget that genuinely bad things are happening to the IC, but SJM just saves them and that makes people mad i think lol

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Ok book recommendation. Not sure if this is something you'll like but it's one of my favourite series and I need more people to know about it.

The set up is basically: Atlantis is real and sometime in 1960s (I think) some astronaut saw Atlantis which was previously hidden from humans by magic. Humans obviously went to war with them and won. So now all the people of Atlantis have moved to Nantucket.

The governing class is a group of the most powerful magic users who all have sort of courts i guess with a bunch of lesser houses under them. They are all named after figures in a tarot deck (or rather the decks are named after them) so we have the tower, the fool, the lovers etc

For us the most important court is the Sun Court. The main character Rune and his best friend/bodyguard who have known each other since they were literal babies are from the sun court which was raided and fell when they were teenagers. Rune and Brand are in their 30s now.

Now they are sort of detectives for hire have been hired to find a missing person. While they also have to deal with some unexpected developments from a sanctioned raid they took part in.

Another thing worth noting about Brand (who is human) and Rune (who is an Atlantian) is that they share an emotional bond like they can literally feel each others emotions. It's an old Atlantian tradition that is explained in the books. Their relationship is so special to me. They have the best banter. And are so protective of each other.

Rune one of those characters that are both simultaneously so smart and badass while also being such a dumbass like he definitely laughs at dumb puns and thinks he's so funny. He is resourceful with his magic which he has to be and knows all about politics because he has to he was basically a prince before his court fell. He also has this quirk that I love where when he feels awkward in a situation he reverts back to being overly formal.

And Brand is that sarcastic, so over it bodyguard who will snipe at you but he is also so protective and caring (if you know where to look) (and Rune knows where to look and because it's from his pov you will hear all about it) and is the type of only I am allowed to make fun of him character. He will make you respect his people.

There is also an intricate magic system. Which i won't go into too much detail about but you basically have to charge these special objects with a spell you want to use in order to use magic.

The world is also so queer. Like it is stated multiple times that attraction to only one gender and monogamy are not the norm in this society.

The books are part of an ongoing series currently three of the planned nine books are out but the author also has published a bunch of free extra stories for in between the books.

The series is called The Tarot Sequence and the first book is called The Last Sun. By K.D. Edwards.

I would recommend looking at the trigger warnings though you should probably be fine seeing as you are in the aftg fandom.

(One of the opening lines is: "I am, before anything else, a survivor [...]" though so)

Sorry for writing this entire essay lol. I just really really love these books especially the relationships between the characters no matter if they're platonic, romantic or familial they all love and care for each other so much. They are some of the best interpersonal relationships i have read and I think about all of the characters so much. Sometimes I just have to stop and go oh randomly in my day to day when I think about another devastating thing about them (both positive and heartbreaking)

Oh one last thing before I finally shut up they don't know who lead the raid on their court so that is an underlying mystery throughout the series

oh my god anon thanks for this! like i have to admit i was on the fence when you mentioned atlantis, BUT the rest of your lil essay (cutie i love when people are passionate about their interests!) has convinced me to add these to my list!!! :D

also! when i looked it up on goodreads i was like 'ohhhhh' because i've seen the cover somewhere before? but yes! added! :) when i get to it i'll have to make a post!

[spicybylerpolls]

Dear Spicy Byler Polls,

i love your in-depth response to the anon about rooting for finn to be queer and the difference between accusations of queer-baiting and excited speculation.

the main difference does seem to be entitlement, and public forums. for example, commenting on someone's literal social media post? rude. are they going to reply personally to you? no! but i think people honestly forget or dont care that the celeb can see that. they have something to say, and they think they have the right to say it. so they do.

so my main issue is being told i can't speculate amongst friends (which is what this blog often feels like) when we are pretty hidden over here. i certainly would never want to interact with finn or even comment on his posts, as i dont feel i have anything to contribute to his life. but i love to observe and wonder in my own space on the internet, because it does serve me to do that, and i am not hurting finn, which is what matters.

but lastly i will just say that the ambiguity of how we interpret things is maybe what freaks people out about speculation. for example, i had a hunch that noah was queer way before this debate and s4, but it didnt matter in my life so i wasnt boasting to anyone about being right when he came out. it wasnt about me! who cares what i thought? my hunch was also based on nebulous things that arent quantifiable and definitely would not hold up in a court of law (lol), so it also seemed trite to describe them.

whereas sadie simply saying she likes an artist who is queer, for me is very silly evidence because that essentially makes everything into a message, and if a large majority of the straight community realised that queer folk think them liking queer art made them queer, it would stop them liking that art (or rather, being open about how much they liked it), in case people started saying ooooh you must be queer! not that being queer is bad, but that the jump in logic is pretty large. its like saying oooh you've got a friend who is queer, you must be queer too! it was a wonder it didnt happen as much as it could have with queen in the 80s - the music was so good, people didnt care. same for elton john. but im sure plenty refused to listen based on the rep alone.

I personally am not queer, and if i had a platform of fans, and i said oooh i love boygenius, and some of those fans started thinking i was queer because of that, i would feel like they were reading too deeply. because my queerness would not be expressed through enjoying music, which is a universal thing. if they started to notice actual queer behaviours in me that i also acknowledged were queer, and i was questioning, i would be like ok, they've seen through me.

so as a straight person who is fascinated by modern (and older) queer culture, its kind of funny to me to see the ways modern queer folk interact with people who are unlabelled.

it seems to have gone from the old ways of safely finding others queers, like asking if theyre part of the family (which would have been an assumption based on instinct and vibes, and which was relatively easy to dismiss if they were in fact straight), to either demanding someone comes out, or relying on vague indicators of sexual identity, like someone's taste in music or even whether they wear rainbows.

these things might be big for the queer community, but they already have meanings in the straight ones, too. liking rainbows does not make you queer or even indicate you are queer.

of course, the queer community have used these ambiguous ways to find each other, but the whole point is that they remain double meanings in order to protect the secret language of queerness. 'are you family' means one thing to straights and another to queer folk, but now, in modern culture, lots of queer people seem to be insisiting that it MUST mean only one thing: gayness. for example, someone wearing rainbows? they must be gay. they must be flagging. despite the millenia-long history of the existence of rainbows and their popularity in pop culture.

in modern gay culture, many people seem to think they are entitled the queerness of others because they sense it. whereas back in the day, you get the sense that if someone did not respond positively to 'are you part of the family?' then you would leave them alone, not demand that they come out because they would be happier if they did so and lived their truth.

do you think this speaks more about the internet age than it does about queer culture itself? and can queer culture every be extricated from the internet age? can any modern culture, now? i love that young queer folk are living more freely, but it seems to have swung a horrible way, towards entitlement for a lot of people online. and all that does is make them unhappy when their faves dont come out. i understand that queer people are oppressed and need idols and role models more than straight folk. but you can still enjoy an artist's work even if they dont share your sexual identity, cant you? it might help to make your experience more universal if you can acknowledge that not everything is about sexual identity. we want gay love stories like stranger things to bring straight folk and queer closer, not divide them by making sure gay communities remain separate, surely?

i hope i'm not being unfair.

Thank you for your thoughts! I hadn't really considered the straight perspective in all of this. You bring up a lot of interesting points, and I don't agree with all of it, but I don't necessarily disagree either.

You're right that sometimes rainbows are just rainbows and that, "These things might be big for the queer community, but they already have meanings in the straight ones, too. liking rainbows does not make you queer or even indicate you are queer."

I just had a vision of someone who is really into rainbows, putting them on literally everything, placing them in all their captions, placing them on all their bags, and everyone assumes they're flagging their sexuality. But then it turns out they're actually just a devout Southern Baptist, and they're really into the Noah's Ark story lol.

That being said, rainbows might be pretty universal, but I'd say there are symbols and clues that one might flag with that are very queer. And probably one or two of these things can be a coincidence. But just like with Mike's sexuality, it's not just one thing that clues us in but several subtle things piled on top of each other. And while of course "you can still enjoy an artist's work even if they don't share your sexual identity," there's a subtle magic when they do share it that I'd say can't be fully replicated by anything else.

The thing I find the most interesting about your message is your question, "Do you think this speaks more about the internet age than it does about queer culture itself? and can queer culture ever be extricated from the internet age? can any modern culture, now?" And I do think a lot of what you're critiquing is absolutely a part of the internet age in general. And it's not going away anytime soon.

The one thing I will clarify tho is that the Sadie Sink/girl in red thing is not a matter of her liking a queer artist but the context. At some point in like 2020 or 2021, "do you like girl in red?" actually became a very specific coded conversation/semi-meme for queer girls on TikTok.

So Sadie commenting I like girl in red btw on a girl's Instagram, followed by a winky face, is absolutely within that context. It's not about liking a queer artist, cause "I like Reneé Rapp" doesn't hold the same meaning even though they are both lesbians. And it's not even about liking girl in red as anyone can like her music (I love her music and I'm a guy), but about subtly communicating queerness in a specific way.

That being said, music/media in general ARE cultural signifiers that someone may be "safe," especially if there's a pattern. Like if someone's Spotify exclusively consists of boygenius and other similar artists, if they follow the Heartstopper cast on IG, and if their favorite films on Letterboxd are But I'm a Cheerleader, Bottoms, Carol, and Portrait of a Lady on Fire, that might be a sign lol.

I'm interested in my anons thoughts on this.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Caro's July 2023 Book Rec Wrap Up

I can't believe this month is over. It's been rough out here, and I'm not feeling great still, but reading always offers a bit of respite.

I feel like my tastes were fairly varied this month. I loved dipping more into fantasy romance, and I really hope to see more of it published soon!

Tastes like Shakkar by Nisha Sharma. ARC; full review here

Marry Me by Midnight by Felicia Grossman. ARC; full review here.

The Winter King by C.L. Wilson.

Ugh, just an amazing book. Exactly what I want from a high fantasy romance: a fun world full of magic and court politics; a couple forced together by circumstance and distrusting one another while also being super attracted to each other; a powerful hero and a kickass heroine. High stakes! Passion! Twists and turns! There are ice powers in this, lightning powers, bangathons on a bearskin rug, the intense need for an Heir (otherwise known as: breeding vibes), the possibility that the hero might just throw the heroine out onto a glacier. People feel feelings and refuse to cop to them because trauma. I had so much fun. A must read. (As is The Sea King, but generally speaking I would say reading them in order is a good idea.)

We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian.

Cat Sebastian just does what she wants, and I appreciate that so much. How many historical romances are a) set in the 1950s and b) centered on a pair of opposite-personality male reporters living together (as friends!) after one of them gets dumped by his fiancee? There is so much fucking tension built between Nick and Andy. And so much fondness too, with practical Nick basically making sure that Andy doesn't trip and fall down a proverbial flight of stairs at any given moment. It's funny, it's a little angsty without being overwhelming, and it's so, so tender.

An Earl to Remember by Stacy Reid. ARC; full review here.

Servant to the Spidae by Ruby Dixon.

This is the fourth in Dixon's Aspects and Anchors series, and in many ways it's basically a novella, though she doesn't categorize it as such. It's closer to the length of her Ice Planet Barbarians books than the previous novels in this series, and it's basically a feel your feelings plotless love story about a former sex worker falling in love with the three creepy spider gods (very human-looking, but they.... shoot web...........) she's pledged herself to in service. It's a lot of sex, a lot of emotion, and while swords do not cross, there is a scene in which every hole is filled. It's what you want out of this kind of story (though I will say, I don't loooove how this series deals with Yulenna's status as a sex worker, and never have; it's not egregious, but it's clumsy).

The Making of a Highlander by Elisa Braden.

I love love love several of Braden's Rescued from Ruin (straight up English Regency, connected to this series) series, but I do think it went on for a bit too long and the heroines especially became repetitive. That's why I didn't rush to begin her Midnight in Scotland series. I am glad that I took the break, because I went into this fresh, and I found it so strong. It's funny, it's got just the right amount of angst, it's a bit bonkers, the hero is absolutely deranged for his heroine.. Like John Huxley is starving. It's what you want out of a lighter (but not too light) historical romance. Special shoutouts to a fabulous Pretty Woman homage, and one of the best "Oh I WANT her" realizations I've read in a long time.

The Taming of a Highlander by Elisa Braden.

Ugh, so good! I love a scarred hero, especially if he's a former golden boy, and this novel deals with Broderick's trauma and scars so well. It does take a little longer to get into the love story than the previous book, but once it kicks into gear, it really goes for the full nine yards. You have batshit shenanigans, a heroine who literally watches this man's erection get bigger and bigger through his pants while she talks about how many babies she's willing to give him, and mortal peril. This series gives such good Scotland content. Also? It's hilarious. The heroine literally bops into this guy's bedroom with breakfast singing a made-up song about his dick coming out to play. She's thrilled.

The Basilisk of Star Manor by Kathryn Moon.

I really liked this little novella, my first basilisk book. And I loved the heroine--a blind, virginal woman who's decided to become a sex worker for monsters. There is a lot of descriptive dirty talk, sensation play, orgasms on horseback... But it's all surprisingly sweet. I had a good time. Also, effective use of a monster tail!

The Temptation of a Highlander by Elisa Braden.

I am nothing if not a sucker for "Scottish Man Big" historicals, and this is nothing if not that. It may or may not be the first historical I've read wherein the heroine has a psycho stalker, and that does give way to an excellent bodyguard romance. Clarissa's inability to say anything without letting slip a double entendre is classic Elisa Braden hilarity, and while there are some quibbles I have with the story... It's just so old school, in a way. I mean, they have shared sex dreams. What's not to like about that?

The Wrong Guy by Kate Canterbary.

I feel like I'm the only person in the world who didn't love In a Jam, but this book was a total turn around for me. Snappy, snarky, super sexy contemporary enemies to lovers with a 39 year old heroine and a 42 year old hero. I mean... come on. The hate sex is legit, the feelings are even more so once they develop (and they don't develop instantly) and it feels like these are real people with flaws and dreams and pain and love. Also, she gets her period during one sex scene and he's like "what do you think I am??? A child???" and just. Goes to town.

One Season with the Duke by Addy Du Lac.

A fun, emotional, and super romantic interracial historical romance, and the rare friends to lovers book that works for me. I think this book's quality is a testament to why it is important to build a world within your historical romance. While I'm not a stickler for accuracy by any means, having the sense of the Scottish with this book really added to its overall sense of space and stakes. And ultimately, it was just heartwarming to see two people sort of brought together by necessity working to make a life with one another.

Since the Surrender by Julie Anne Long.

A rare book in which the couple knows each other because they cheated together while her husband was alive! Cheating is probably a strong-ish word--I mean, they did make out, but otherwise it was largely an emotional thing, and temptation. But it makes the beef real (because our hero actually super liked and respected said dead husband) when these two come back together, and the tension is thick. There's a bit of a mystery and a bit of an adventure, and ultimately two people desperately trying to convince themselves that they don't want to jump into bed together at a moment's notice. NICE.

A Lesson in Thorns by Sierra Simone.

I mean... Good God. Sierra is really making her own specific space in romance, and I respect it so fucking much. She knows what she's about, she's uncompromising in her vision, and she just goes balls to the wall. This is like... an occult... romance? Fantasy? Paranormal? Definitely super erotic, and not a little dark. Oh, and there's an orgy. And over half of our six-person group is made up of virgins (though uh, we're down to one virgin left standing by the end). It's intensely emotional and the ties that bind and the messages left unsaid are thick. I am fucking hooked, and a bit blown away.

[biboocat]

I’m really enjoying Vanity Fair. I’m not too far into it, but the characters are highly entertaining, and the dryly humorous narration and general air of the novel has given me the giggles. The final verdict must wait, but it’s a treat so far!

Update: Vanity Fair is a satirical masterpiece about our infatuation with rank, wealth, and love and the greed, selfishness, and lies that are often employed in attaining them. It is of course as relevant today as it was in the 19th C. It’s a long novel (784 pages), but the characters and plot lines are so richly drawn, I was never bored. On the contrary, I was curious to the end. The narration is also highly entertaining in its mocking humor and edifying in the form of reflections and pearls of wisdom. It’s a bleak pronouncement on our society, but I admire Thackeray’s courage to tell it. The author describes the novel as one without a hero, but I respectfully disagree and regard Colonel William Dobbin the hero of the story, albeit an atypical one. I loved William Dobbin, but I thought Rebecca Sharp the most complex and interesting character, especially for a Victorian woman. I highly recommend Vanity Fair.

Some funny names:

Dr. Swishtail the headmaster of William Dobbin

Sir Pitt Crawley’s first wife, Grizzel, sixth daughter of Mungo Binkie, Lord Binkie

Sir Huddleston Fuddleston

Lady Jane Sheepshanks

Some Excerpts:

His tongue in cheek advice to liberally compliment people in both low & high positions in order to get ahead - pg 198.

What’s the good of being in Parliament, he (Sir Pitt) said, if you must pay your debts?

He (the proselytizing Mr. Crawley) was always thinking of his brother’s soul, or of the souls of those who differed with him in opinion: it is a sort of comfort which many of the serious give themselves.

She (Miss Crawley) reflected, that it is the ordinary lot of people to have no friends if they themselves care for nobody.

Yes, if a man’s character is to be abused, say what you will, there’s nobody like a relation to do the business.

I know a few things more affecting than the timorous debasement and self humiliation of a woman. How she owns that it is she and not the man who is guilty; how she takes all the faults on her side; how she courts in a manner punishment for the wrongs which she has not committed, and persists in shielding the real culprit! It is those who injure women who get the most kindness from them; they are born timid and tyrants, and maltreat those who are humblest before them. p562-3

I am indebted to Thackeray for his description of cigars in Vanity Fair, and I will retain it for future use: “The waiter brought the Major a mug of beer, as a matter of course; and he took out a cigar, and amused himself with that pernicious vegetable and a newspaper until his charge should come down to claim him.”😂

page 570: humorous list of aristocrats and gentry at Rebecca’s party.

P646 commentary on the suffering poor who strive heroically, hidden from view and commentary on humility.

She didn’t wish to marry him, but she wished to keep him. She wished to give him nothing, but that he should give her all. It is a bargain not unfrequently levied in love.

Ah! Vanitas Vanitatum! which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?

[llycaons]

❄️🔔End of the year media review: TV Shows

Okay I'm going to be dead fucking serious with you all I don't even know what I've watched this year but I don't think it was that many shows. I did really like The Double and I think DunMeshi came out this year too so I'm just listing those. Oh and Black Doves. Apparently I watched House in 2023 so I can't even list that. Anyway. The three shows I watched:

The Double (2024)

Historical Drama/Romance. Xue Fangfei, the wife of an up-and-coming court official, is framed for adultery and betrayed by her husband, who attempts to murder her and tells her that her father and brother are also dead. Lost in suicidal despair, her life is saved by a young woman who inspires her named Jiang Li who has been sent to live at a nearby nunnery from a young age for a crime she didn't commit. Jiang Li is essentially murdered for helping Xue Fangfei, and Xue Fanffei takes on Jiang Li's identity in order to re-enter society and enact revenge on the people who doomed them both, as well as discover and expose the people behind them. A revenge narrative, con artist plot, social and political balancing act, and mystery, the double is exciting, surprising, and visually spectacular. Wu Jin Yan is incredible as XFF-as-JL, and her love interest steals the show in every scene he unnecessarily backflips into. The Double is fairly well-paced, besides a few slow spots early on and in the mid-teens. The focus on the double standards (ha) faced by women, sexual harassment, and toxic/controlling partners were honest, if occasionally clumsy. Xue Fangfei has become one of my favorite female characters of all time. Unfortunately the love interest is a cop but at least he's sexy! The plot collapses a bit by the end but it's really good for most of it and the villain is spectacular. 8/10

2. Dungeon Meshi (2024) I am simply not fucking calling it the english title I am NOT

Fantasy adventure/Comedy. You all know Dungeon Meshi, probably. Sister gets eaten, they go down and save her, eat lots of monsterson the way. I found the anime adaptation extremely faithful, fun, and wonderfully animated. Of course it couldn't get everything, but none of the changes struck me as egregious and we finally got to see chimera Farlyn boobies animated 🎉 the second ed was shit tho. really unpleasant and grating and jarring. not a fan!! the op was nice and I liked the first ed a lot. The voice acting for Japanese was great but I couldn't get into the English VAs. 9/10

3. Black Doves (2024)

Is this Britush spy thriller really one of the only shows I've watched this year? huh. wow that poster is kind of funny what are they looking at while they randomly point guns...anyway Keira Knightley is a spy working for a private information firm married to a high-up mark in British government and when her lover is murdered she goes on a quest to unravel the mystery around his death and avenge him. Joining her is her gay best friend and hitman Ben Whishaw who's like, a terrible terrible partner in a lot of ways but I am fond of him bc he's so pathetic and he has those big sad eyes and also he's not very cutthroat as a hitman and bc of this he runs into issues. He and Knightley have fantastic chemistry and the way the relationships develop in this show are really powerful and hit me hard. The side plot lesbians ruled I thought they were so funny with just a enough emotional groundedness to make me go 🥺. The plot gets a bit silly and sometimes the dialogue veers towards corny and I disliked how the characters of color tended to be sidelined and used as support for the white characters but overall it's very well-made and slick and the fight scenes ruled and I enjoyed it a great deal. 7/10