#ALSO !!!!!!!!!!!! THE GIRLS ON THE TRAIN TODAY
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everyone be glad I am not training you because I am Very Bad At It
#new girl started today and I'm in charge of training and it is so so so hard for me to slow down#I constantly run at 90% speed with everything I do in life (last 10% saved for when I'm in a rush) but for this I gotta go at like 15% spee#so I don't just leave her behind. she previously did custom cakes from her home so she's not used to the go go go grocery store pace#also man I already knew this but training the new hire just really emphasizes how COMPLICATED the cake department is now#when I started 9 years ago it wasn't so bad but they keep adding new shit to the program that you gotta know#especially 2019 onward it's like every month they give us something new we gotta make
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imagine the cafe i was working in had a fire alarm so i was stood outside for ages in the rain shivering but then they just closed LOL
#diary#tiyas thoughts#also today is so eventful this girl who is kinda famous on tiktok is literally like opposite me stood on this train...#wanna say hi queen but like scary
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some of y'all will remember this edit, and some of y'all have never seen it, but either way : ) sorry chiyo can't come to the phone rn -- she's a lil tied up
tw suggestive below, but nothing super explicit dw <3
i was trying to think of things i haven't shared on this blog yet, and i think i might have some headcanons and whatnot incoming, too, but! here's chiyo after pushing someone's buttons one too many times B) asdf depending on her partner, i really don't see this as unusual for chiyo bc she really does enjoy testing and teasing her partner until there's actual consequences. sometimes she's making the above expression like fr?? we're doing this?? come on, don't tie me up >:( and other times she's grinning, all smug bc you fool!! this is exactly what she wanted!! and i love that for her <3
#what a silly lil gal#also one day i need to remember to revisit this so i can see what i did to make the colors look this way#anyway... asdfg i'm gonna work on some headcanons and then see what i can do in the way of bingo and birthday asks!#i hope today is peaceful for all of you <3#tw suggestive#shield your eyes | nsft#i look at my reflection & the girl i tried to bury stares back; she haunts me | visuals#i sit before flowers & hope they will train me in the art of opening up | headcanons
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Nobody talk to me about Rui bloomfes or cbdb alt I will scream
#Check on your Rui Fans today y'all#BABY RUI LOOKING AT THE PANDEMONIUM PHOTO!!!!#I HATE HIM IM GONNA CRY#I'm ill im weeping nobody talk to me#also i've seen the leak of toya's hair preview icon...it looks somewhat pulled back please be pulled back#also is this a safe space to say I like Nene's untrained more than her trained#the trained just. idk something about it doesn't make me think Nene#Her untrained though. pretty pretty gorgeous girl for once we wont have beef if you come home#pjsk leaks#pjsk#not going in main fandom until not a leak
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Note to self: bring a book whenever you go out
#i started reading dune a few days aho#and i like it!#today i went to the library and found a bunch of other books i also rlly wanna read#and i felt like reading while i was waiting for arranged brunch time to cime around#and tbh#i could be reading rn while i wait for the train#UTS BEEN DELAYED#🛌#it comes in 9 minutes#😔#i will enjoy my surroundings while i wait#.evature#man i really wanted to read#i couldve read on the bus too!!!#the brunch was fine#i mostly talked to 1 girl bc the others have their own little groups#and tbh ive grown out of trying to be part of their groups#they are not my type of peoplw!!!#theyre kind of rude :(#also i think its weird to talk abt plans that someone isnt invited to in front of that person#thats just me tho#*even if that said person wouldnt want to go in the first plave
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lowkey having such a good hair day today?
#shortened the bangs earlier and it's so nice again#also so glad hair is looking good bc we're going to a cool classic car thing today#yea i love taking train selfies what else is a girl to do on a train ride
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these are two separate images BUT. gnomies is having a great time in red markets! (she got shot by a friend @/cino-checker) (and bit)
#red markets#ttrpg#oc tag#isabelle#isa#others ocs#okay i really gotta figure out a tagging system but not today satan. not today#so right so SO this is technically just the prologue to the season and we were all meant to make throwaway characters#but i got attached. I GOT ATTACHED. so sue me#jordan made her story very strong very powerful#james bond ass father spoiled rich girl growing into a hard jaded professional#mmm yummy i love angst#also so if she is infected (don't know yet#it was a cold bite)#she's done for bUUUUT#she could still be immune#i love the idea of having two tough spots#we started right in a red zone but it's cool. it's cool#we're gonna move#our enclave is a train bitchessss mobility is key.#once we can get the parts to get it moving anyway#anyway every interaction with michael hurts her#it's >:)
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Owner training a service dog is like, I have days where he amazes me and days where he’s a menace.
Sometimes, those are the same day.
#today he did a task we haven’t properly trained#today he also stole my brother’s girlfriend’s sweater and then stole a glass of milk from the counter while I was filling up my med box for#the week#get you a girl who can do both#blue the service dog
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Ok so I keep freaking out about if I can actually do this dog thing, if I’m actually enough. I love this dog dearly but i’m so exhausted all the time and that’s made worse this weekend by being sick. and I know that love is not enough to give a dog what she needs to be happy and healthy.
however. look. my big concerns are not being able to give her the exercise and stimulation she needs and wanting to be able to just Chill and cuddle my spouse and cats in calmness. and like. she’s almost certainly a great pyrenees mix. Relatively (as in, relative to other dogs I like, aka shepherds), she doesn’t need that much exercise. A good run in the yard a few times a day should do her, especially once she’s not so much of a puppy. And that’s the thing too— she’s a puppy. She’s excitable and chewy and a Lot because she’s 12mos old and still growing up. that takes time. and the cats are unhappy and won’t come cuddle— because she’s been here four days! they’re still adjusting!
i really need to take a step back and calm down. four days is not long enough to throw in the towel on this. she’s a puppy and we’re all adjusting but there is room in our lives for her. we can do this. i just need to fucking chill for maybe like five minutes and understand that this is an adjustment for the humans too, and that’s okay. I just need to chill.
#kit talks#she’s such a good dog y’all don’t even understand#she is SUCH a well behaved dog to both be a rescue from neglect and still a puppy (albeit an older puppy)#she’s a sweet and good girl and i just need to calm down and not be a perfectionist#this was a godawful time to get sick bc it’s shit my ability to cope with little things all to hell#i owe it to her and to myself to give it some time though. just have to give it some time#anyway i have like ten minutes til i have to get ready for work then i have GOT to try to not think about the dog today#so i don’t start crying at work lmfao#i’ll have enough to deal with due to still being sick and catching up from yesterday sigh#also i am increasingly sure she is def a pyr mix#she doesn’t have the long fur but the shape is there and the behaviors#quite territorial - not towards us or the cats but anyone who even looks at our property#very fucking stubborn. just Sits and Won’t Move if she doesn’t wanna do something#keep trying to train her and she looks at me like she completely understands what i mean by ‘down’#and just thinks it’s stupid and not worth the measley little treat i’m offering#and yet quite smart and likes puzzles and incredibly affectionate#still undecided what she’s mixed WITH but pyr seems very accurate
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someone PLEASE give me the strength to work on my wips 😩 next pmas has to be out for the holidays
#my writing#play me a song#i can feel my strength fading (slept in today)#i also have a paper girls wip and horizon to work on too#but also i just need to get back on the pmas train#even if my writing has fallen off lately#i just gotta Do It
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(…)
#WUAG. ok. Complaining ahead ignore it’s whatever#We got a dog last week bc my mom really wanted one#the dog is fine she’s a good girl#But I really don’t want to be responsible for it#and my mom said “Ella don’t worry you don’t have to be responsible for the dog”#Even though a. She works 9 hours a day and won’t be home 5/7 days a week#b. My dad also works full time#c. My sibling will be the one home full time & I don’t want to make them do dog stuff all by themselves on the days I am home#d. SINCE WE’RE ALL TRAINING THE DOG ITS MY FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY#It’s just another thing I have to worry about on top of math classes AND work AND cleaning the house AND planning for my 18th bday#and it’s a lot#and I wish we didn’t have a dog because it makes life so much harder and I don’t really think it’s worth it for me#but I can’t say no at this point because like augh my mom would be so upset#we took a training consultation today#and obviously it’s a lot of work training a dog#and I don’t want to be the one worrying about it#I just wish I could tell myself the dog isn’t my problem BUT SHE IS because my mom isn’t fucking home to do the work herself#I’m just tired and I know I’ll feel better tomorrow but I feel insane about this like is no one else worried about this ????
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#ended up one on one with our intern today#she was like ''so what year did you finish your undergrad again?''#um. 2023#''like? this year?''#yep#''so...how did you get this job?''#girl. I applied#idk what to tell you#weird vibes bc she like has a master's degree and stuff#but is a newcomer to the field#vs. I did a college major and two separate internships that are directly related to this job#which is more or less what I said to her#but yeah she asked me if I thought our team would hire anyone new full time anytime soon#and like. the true answer is. no and also if we were you would probably not get hired#but obviously I did not say that#anyway idk what my point is#perfectly normal things for an intern to be asking and also good for her#maybe just set off some more imposter-syndrome-esque feelings for me#and also idk just in general. don't like when people have the mindset that something I have trained and studied and practiced for#is something that anyone can. just do. with the same level of quality#especially bc I am still so inexperienced compared to my coworkers#and also. this girl has less experience than me but is very confident and well spoken and I still feel like a frightened deer
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Anywayyyyssss finally manager is w me tmr I'm bitching abt two of these coworkers augh
#i feel bad though cause ik one of them is dealing w some shit but also. you cannot be taking a third of the time im supposed to be#cooking to finish your stuff. it worked out today cause i was training yhe girl who didnt come in til 3 but like. oh man.#i also just feel like bitching tmr. pls dont let her leave early or im spending my breaks tecting her
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This time my autism got me. I just came home and realised theres a girl at my gym class that wants to talk to me and i didnt realise that ☠
#i also want to tall to her but i kept thinking that if i did that mid training itd be awkward#and by the time we stretch she leaves#but today girl looked so happy having worked up the courage to say bye to me 😭 i hope im not THAT intimidating#brain storms
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wow. I am going to die tomorrow
#im supposed to be accompanying the girl ive been training for her horse riding exam#but its SO FUCKING HOOOOOOT IM DYING#i was in the stables today just to practice loading The Beast™ into the trailer and practice the dressage part w her one last time#and the head exhaustion has taken away ALL of my energy ive literally been running in low energy mode since morning#and tomorrow ill have to be there for a good couple hours OURGH#especially since we dont know if her other trainer will be there so i have to help her warm up just in case#also just generally be there to help w getting The Beast™ ready#if i dont survive this i want jacob to take over my selfship blog. goodbye
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ive discovered i donot work well with strangers
#im training the new girl and im trying so hard not 2 be bitchy but ive got a headache my ears hurt from the mask glasses conbo and its also#so fuckjng hot in the vuilding today for some reason AND my mouth is consrantly sry no matter what i do AND im cramping .#and she like. brenda was like yas sooo were having you train her so she can see how everybody does the rooms differently#but she isnt listening to me when i tell her how i do rooms shes just doing the rooms the way nee does and its like . annoying me abit#and also just now i was like Ok hokd off on vacuuming and if yiu could just sweep the bathroom bc theres tons of litter#and then i went to drop off recycling#cane back abd shes vacuuming . and didnt sweep the bathroom. and its like . ok girl listen 2 me now im going to sweep the bathroom and#there will be litter all over the carpet you just vacuumed do you understand. AUGH#ik its not her fault but im like. screams. i just want to be alone 2day i think. but i cant i have to train her til i go home. but whatever#its my lunchtime now.. hers isnt jntil 2 bc shes got a weird ass 10-6 shift. which is crazy
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