#ALL WE DO IS THINK ABOUT THE FEELINGS THAT WE HIDE; logan&&kez; ( inspo )

[eightholyterrors]

logan    &&    kez;     all   we    do    is    think     about    the    feelings    that    we    hide.

                 he was        inconsolable.       --      had been       for days      (      or was     it weeks     now     ??     )       since      lily’s    death. he had      never been     a good boyfriend to her.      hadn’t loved her     enough     --     couldn’t possibly have     ever been      enough. it was a      relationship struck     up by him.     initiated in order     to keep a     long standing    secret of his     private. he had     always been close      to his    sister.       maybe a     little too close.    ever since    he was    little he had    stuck by her. holding her    hand        &&      genuinely showing her      affection around      every bend. it wasn’t     supposed to be     that way;     it was never     meant to be    so intimate between     them     --       but it had been.     she was a     comfort to him in       every conceivable way.      when their      father    took a belt to him      he had     always longed for    comfort afterwards.    soft touches     &&     reassurances.     she had given him that       &&     when lingering     touches    turned to     kisses he had    known in his    heart that they were     too close     &&     something had to      change between them.      &&     they had.            dating one of     the most    promiscuous girls     in school had been a      challenge, but     one that kept his    mind devoid of     kez.    although in    some moments memories of      their time    together would creep back in;     lily had distracted him.      until now.      she was dead,     murdered     &&     even the     thought of      her    laced him with      regret. because although     he had tried     he could     never have loved her     as he did kez.      &&      that thought alone     drove him to     drink;      --      to mourn.       swallowing down the    bitter liquid he    stumbled towards     kez’s    room. the halls     were dark,     &&     the     intoxication in his      veins    high. pushing into her     room, he    knew he had     stayed     away from her      as long as he      rightly could.      sneaking     down to    lay     on her bed     he wound his     arm around her,     drawing her  near as he      planted the    vodka bottle     down on her   bedside table.      ❛      i couldn’t     love her     ...     did you know    that     ??      because    i love you     ...        ❜      his voice     was    soft,     his    lips    trembling.

@paintedneons