#AHAHAAHAHHAAH

[chaotic-orphan]

a villain saving a hero from being mind controlled

Villain stepped cautiously into the old boxing gym. Hero was in the ring, fists flying against an instructor that was more clear and distinct than even Hero themselves. And he wasn’t going easy on Hero.

Hero, a younger version of them, was covered in a thick sheen of sweat like oil clinging to their skin. Villain could tell they’d been here for hours, maybe doing the same drills, maybe others. He watched, hands in trouser pockets as Hero’s right hook hit the pad weaker than it should’ve.

Instructor moved lightning fast and suddenly Hero was on the floor. Villain jerked forward, prepared to step in before Hero grunted with effort and he paused. Villain knew that sound all too well and it froze him in his movements. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he saw Hero throw their weight backwards, tumbling feet over head in one fluid motion and stood gracefully again, ready to fight.

Villain had seen that move too many times, heard that infuriating heroic grunt that conceded a little exertion but it didn’t mean Hero was finished. They were just conceding a point to their opponent and the next round was about to begin, a reset button.

When Instructor spoke it was murky as the scene swirled around them and Villain made sure not to hit off any of the furniture or items in the new setting which looked like a… museum, or a library.

Hero was tucked away in a corner, hunched over a desk, a little older now, hair falling over their face as they read from one of the many books scattered around them. Villain smiled at Hero’s reading glasses that were wide as saucers. They looked like such a little nerd. Nobody would think they were looking at a hero, nevermind the Hero themself. Their lean physique was hidden under layers of clothes, a turtleneck and a chunky cardigan that made them look softer, their edges more round.

Their eyes a little more hollow.

“Hero.”

Hero’s head snapped up, violet eyes meeting Villain’s. Hero swallowed, their gaze darting around the room before they settled on Villain again.

“You… you can’t be here,” Hero whispered, fear lacing every word.

Villain walked in further and took the seat opposite Hero, sliding into it and resting a hand on the table. “And yet, here I am,” Villain said at a conversational volume.

“If Superhero finds out—”

“What can he do? Hmm?” Villain asked, tilting his head. This close Hero looked worse than Villain feared. Fuck. Even for Superhero this was fucked up. To keep Hero locked in a trance like this, scared of disrupting any memory they were forced to relive over and over.

The dark circles around Hero’s eyes glowed a dim purple like a bruise, but Villain recognised it as Nokio’s ability, shutting down the mind, trapping the consciousness within so Hero’s body could be puppeted without resistance; forced to obey commands they weren’t even aware of.

“Some of us need to study, Villain,” Hero snapped, the purple veins flashing a bright— bright purple colour. “I can’t fail this exam—”

“You don’t need to study, Hero.”

“Just because you’re a genius—”

“You’ve already sat your exam, Hero.”

Hero froze. Blinked. Stuttered. They tilted their head at Villain. “Are you— is this some kind of psyching me out kind of trick? Because it won’t work.”

“We have already sat these exams, Hero. You know it. Deep down, somewhere inside you knows I’m right.”

“Villain—”

“We both passed and got our Hero licence. You were obviously second best,” Villain said with a grin like a knife. “But we can’t all be geniuses, as you say.”

“This is a weird joke,” Hero said eventually with a scoff and looked down at their book again. Villain glanced down too. He couldn’t see any words on the pages. Just lines of black writing.

“Fine,” Villain shrugged leaning in. “What exam are you studying for?”

“The Hero licence fin—”

“I know. Which exam?” Villain asked, cutting Hero off. He pulled his chair in until his torso was flush with the wood, clasping his fingers together in front of him and tilted his head to the side.

“The—” Hero said, trailing off. Their eyes wandered and a troubled look crossed their features. Their eyes burned purple. “The…” then they shook their head and let out a breath of a laugh. “God, I can’t remember. I must have been studying too long.”

“Okay,” Villain shrugged. “Just read what’s on the page you’re reading then.”

Hero’s eyes narrowed at the challenge. “Fine!” They said with a scoff as they looked down again. “The… uh— the…”

Villain watched with an eagerness as Hero’s features pinched on their face, a crease forming between their brilliant brows and a furrow forming over their forehead. Hero’s grip tightened on the book, their hands began to shake.

“Villain…” they said after a moment, looking up with wide petrified eyes. “Why am I calling you Villain? That’s not your name. Your hero name was other hero. I remember. We picked it out together. And when you changed it to Villain, god I—”

Villain smiled and sat back. Hero’s physique morphed again, older again, but at least now they looked like the Hero Villain knew from the present. Comfortable clothes, a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants with a white tee, that made it easy for fighting and going for groceries.

The library changed around them again, bleeding away to a black, voided emptiness.

“Villain, what’s going on?”

Villain sighed. “Finally. That took longer than it should have, Hero.”

“Why are you— what’s—”

“Superhero hired Nokio to subdue you and make you work for him, hide you away in your mind so you would be an obedient little—” before Villain could finish he gasped, cutting himself off. His air felt breathy, unreal as a spike of purple coiled rope erupted from his chest.

“VILLAIN!”

Villain fell to his knees. “You just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you Villain?” Nokio’s voice boomed around them, echoing off nothing. High pitched and grating, so the same as Villain remembered. Villain reached out to grab the spike.

It’s not real, it’s not real, it’s not—

Twin coils of rope wound around Villain’s wrists, thorns like the ones you’d find on a rosebush stuck into Villain’s skin, knotting itself like barbed wire around him.

“Villain!” Hero gasped, dropping to their knees in front of Villain. Villain smiled, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. “What do I do? WhatdoIdo? How do I help? Villain?!”

The tears in Hero’s eyes pulled at Villain’s heartstrings. God. He forgot he still had those. “Fight, Hero,” Villain gasped. “I can’t help you. But fight, Nokio is nothing compared to—”

A shrill scream and Villain was torn from Hero’s mind and back into their body. The force of the expulsion shot them back across the room and Villain gasped, spluttering, grabbing at the phantom spike in his chest.

He grinned. All he had to do was wait. Hero would free themself, and then Superhero would have something to really worry about.

[kadextra]

IM SCREAMING AHAHAAHAHHAAH

[xcharmedxheirsx]

@xhelenaxleblancx​

Laughter SPILLED FORTH at that. Yeah they certainly had a WAY about themselves. More signs of the DNA that made ach other so different despite their same DADDY ISSUES. Maybe it was the PERFECTIONIST in her. Maybe it was the PARANOIA. But Seraphina did feel a paradoxical need to feel INFORMED of the BULLSHIT she couldn’t care less about. Maybe because – UNLIKE HELENA – There was a good chance she would end up caring about it TOO MUCH. “Yeah I can’t blame you. Some answers are DEFINITELY better left UNHEARD. Seriously a few of my brain cells committed suicide out of PURE BOREDOM.” Hand reached up to massage a DULL PAIN in the back of her neck before a random EUREKA EPIPHANY crossed her mind and she shot a MOCK-ACCUSATORY GLARE Helena’s way. “Holy shit, you’ve actually done that to me once – HAVEN’T YOU?” She’d be ACTUALLY MAD. But she had a feeling that when Helena WAS DOING THAT she kind of maybe DESERVED IT.

[ssuminshan-official]

Payback~~

Zixuan: *fanning himself*

Yao: *relaxing while Su she groomed his tail*

Jintang: Huangdi.....ehem, two Huangdis. Your tea.

Zixuan: thank you very much.

Yao: thanks.

Yao: Shanshan, you're so amazing. You're doing a good job.

Su she: *bhlush* thank you, Yaoyao.

Xue yang: *chewing on some candy* Jiggybuns.

Yao: yangyang.

Zixuan: excuse me? You have your people calling you by nicknames? And not by Huangdi?

Xue yang: I can call Jiggy however I want!! Peacock!!

Yao: because they're my besties, Zish.

Other than my team dimple, I'm down to earth with everyone.

I think that your attendants should give you a nickname too.

Zixuan: ohh. How does Dearest Huangdi sound?

Yao: *laughs and nods*

Xue yang: Jiggybun what about you and that peacock...... I mean zIxUaN Huangdi's loser good-for-nothing, deadbeat, womanizer dad?

Mo xuanyu: Jin guangshan!

Yao and Zixuan: *bursting out in laughter*

Zixuan: he's renting Jinlintai from us.

Yao: we inherited it, so we thought of letting him rent it out from us.

Extra revenue for our empire.

Mo xuanyu: lol you did what?!!

Yao: remember your extra allowance? That was from guangshan's rent.

Zixuan: oh come on. He gave us childhood trauma. And mistreated our moms, plus other unknown women.

Mo xuanyu: you're so amazing! I'm so blessed to have brothers like you!

Xue yang: ahahaahahhaah. So guangshit is renting from you two!!! Oh gosh!

I wonder how he reacted.

Zixuan: he cursed.

Yao: then cried because he's going to lose money.

But his tears were only soiling up our rugs.

Zixuan: so sadly we had to get it replaced.

Yao: even his clothes belongs to us.

Mo xuanyu: what about madam Jin?

Yao: we did nothing to her.

Su she: and what about Jinling?

Zixuan: He's living with me. And now is Ru Lan Wang zi. He also stays with Jiang cheng. 

Xue yang: like you saved everyone from guangshan.

Zixuan: exactly.

Yao: isn't our gorgeous peacock emperor amazing?

Zixuan: isn't our splendid fox emperor amazing?

Xue yang: you two are divas.

*clapping* but heroes too!

Su she: where's stinky Zixun?

Zixuan: *laughs* he's my gardener.

Yao: what?! That's hilarious.

Zixuan: also he sweeps the steps of Jinlintai on weekends.

Mo xuanyu: oh my.

Yao: lovely.

Zixuan: he bullied my little bro.

I must do something about it right?

Yao: aww.

Yao: anyways, speaking of which. Aren't we supposed to collect money?

Zixuan: *sips tea* ask someone to do it, yaoyao.

Yao: let's visit him in person. *smile* and you know. Make ourselves comfortable.

Zixuan: ooo. Yaoyao. So devious.

Yao: thank you, Zish.

Xue yang: so is guangshit an emperor?

Zixuan: *spits out tea*

Jintang: *wipes mouth*

Yao: he doesn't have an imperial bone in his body, yangyang.

My A-niang was once a hulijing empress, but she was denounced as a prostitute.

Zixuan: and mine, a.k.a. Madam Jin was the peacock spirit empress, but she denounced it when she got married.

Sadly in Lanling, women weren't allowed to work or show strength.

However that has been changed, and now there are more female cultivators.

Poor Mianmian had to struggle though, but unfortunately left.

Xue yang: kind of strange how it happened twice. Lol.

Yao: Yea. Now he's just a clan leader. Well. Was.

Zixuan: when A-ling comes of age, he'll become the Jin sect leader, and I'll gift him a tiny empire of his own.

Mo xuanyu: so is there anything special?! These beings  love to find significance in everything.

Yao: oh yes. The imperial expression.

He's  golden + lineage + qualities.

Zixuan: and he's  dimples + qualities + lineage too.

Xue yang: not the dimples again. Lol.

Yao: *laughs*

Zixuan: I didn't like how he treated my siblings so I planned to protect them, as well as use my potential to build my own empire.

Yao: same!

Zixuan: right. And A-Su lives with me. She's A-li's bestie.

But she has her own mansion.

Yao: that's so good to hear.

Yao: ah, I think we should go now.

We're getting late.

Zixuan: right. Let's go.

Yao: Hou, please arrange a caravan.

Hou: yes Huangdi.

Yao: team dimple, you comin'?

Su she: of course!

Xue yang: I want to see how badass Jiggy is!!!!!

Mo xuanyu: definitely!

Yao: great. Make that two~~

Xue yang: Jiggy, Jiggy, Jiggy. We're not princesses. Not even divas like you two. We'll pull up on our swords!

Yao: hahaha. Fine.

Zixuan: when am I a diva?!

Xue yang: when aren't you a diva.

Zixuan: hmpf!

~~~~

Hulijings: *surrounding the place*

Peacocks: *biting cultivators who try to stop them*

Yao and Zixuan:  *sit on the Jin throne*

Zixuan: why are you shocked? Aren't you going to greet us? Ill mannered! *opens fan furiously*

Yao: should I use my golden strings to punish them?!

Zixuan: that may be the last resort!

Jin sect members: greetings.

Yao: where's guangshan.

*silence*

Yao: xue yang, darling. Can you drag him out?!

Xue yang: yea.

Guangshan:*runs in* landlords, landlords. I'm here!

Ugh bastard child we meet again.

Zixuan, hold on I got your money.

Yao: who are you calling bastard child.

Certainly not your landlord. Who give you a roof over your head.

Zixuan: you must pay both of us, remember. Have you forgotten?

Xue yang: his poor old brain. It slipped him!

Jgs: how dare you let your nasty hulijings run all over my place!!!

Yao: our place.

Ours as in mine and Zixuan's

Jgs: nothing belongs to you! Yao!!

Yao: *saunters, and rests his fan under jgss chin* Huangdi.

Jgs: *deliberately sneezes on Yao*

Yao: agh!!! Ew!! *walks away furiously*

Su she: *wipes him up.* relax, Huangdi, relax.

Zixuan: so much trouble to pay us? So bad.

Jgs: I'm fed up of paying you and that bastard! I can't even remember his name for a second!

Yao: *smiles ominously.*

*pins him on the floor with guqin strings*

Jgs: hey! Untie me!!!

Yao: *sits and opens fan*

Su she: *massaging his arm*

I'll help calm you.

He doesn't know your rage.

Xue yang: *unsheaths sword*

Zixuan: someone, get me some tea.

Jintang: sure Huangdi.

Yao: former sect leader. Do you like perfume?

Jgs: cut the small talk and get out!! I'll push you down the stairs again!

Mo xuanyu: the audacity.

Yao: answer the question.

Xue yang: *glaring mischievously while caressing his Jiangzai*

Jgs: yea. I do like perfume.

Yao: good.

My hulijings.

Hulijing bunch *in their fox form: *gathering up, and waiting anxiously for their leader's instruction*

Yao: fart in his face, and give him some perfume.

With pleasure, Huangdi.

Yao: lovely.

Jgs: what?!!

Yao: you said that you love perfume. So you got perfume.

Jgs: you little lowlife! I knew I shouldn't have let you into the Jin sect. But I just wanted to use you!! I have never accepted you!

Yao: *tightens strings* I realized that I didn't need to be accepted by you!

Jgs: bastard!

Yao: *strings starting to let out steam while his eyes turned a shiny gold* call me that again, and I'll cook you with my strings right in front of everyone!!

Jgs: that's what you are!

Yao: *stops heating up his guqin strings* you can't improve, can you?

I have only stopped because my beloved hulijings may get burnt.

Jgs: you only care about them?

Yao: yes. Have you ever cared about me? Or Xuanyu? Or A-Su

Mo xuanyu: ah, Yao gege. The love of my life.

Jgs: why should I care about outside children!

Zixuan: you better pay us double the amount of money.

Jgs: why?!!

Zixuan: you can't ask an emperor why.

Jgs: *cries* fineeeee. But what if I go bankrupt!

Zixuan: you won't. Because the sect is still running.

Jgs: I'm not thinking of  those pests! I'm thinking about me and my expenses.

Zixuan: how selfish.

Yao: then you'll become a tea leaf farmer. That's all. *smile*

Jgs: what power do you two have?!!

Zixuan: we can fire you.

Yao: we even own your clothes, lol.

Jgs: *crying* oh gosh! I'm done for!

I should have kept it in my pants.

Jgs: and who told me to go around with multiple women! But, but I love women so much......*sobs*

Zixuan: what do you like about them?

Jgs: their shape. And beauty. Nothing elseeeee.

They got to be a little dumb too.

Yao: disgusting!

Xue yang: I won't spare him for nothing.

Zixuan: I'm surprised once again.

Yao: *sighs* well. I'm going to my old room to take a bath. Minshan, come with me.

Su she: sure.

And yes, we have packed extra clothes, just incase you guys spend the night.

Yao: lovely.

Jgs: so you're just going to leave me tied  here?!!!

Yao: yea. Why not?

Yao: maybe. If you say, my marvelous Yao Huangdi, then maybe I'll untie you.

Jgs: never!!!

Yao: well stay tied, eat some floor.

Xue yang: and smell some farts!!!

~~~ Hours after.

Yao: *entering with Su she* I'm back.

Zixuan: finally, yaoyao. I was getting bored.

Yao: oh no.

Jgs: do you think that if you untie me, I'll give you two your rent money.

Zixuan: pardon him for not respecting you.

Yao: alright then. *releases strings*

Zixuan: *sighs* cultivators. They're so hard sometimes.

Jintang: *massaging Zixuan's arm*

Jgs: here you go. Half a million taels each.

Yao: thank you.

Zixuan: would you give any to A-Yu?

Yao: I think you should pay him too.

Jgs: no way.

Zixuan: don't let us throw you out.

Jgs: fine. Half a million for that child too.

Yao: excellent. Tata.

Zixuan: see you next month.

@verycatbluebird

[cok3andm3ntos]

ALL I FEEL IS PAIN AND FEAR

IM ✨TERRIFIED✨ TO FINISH THIS EPISODE AHAHAAHAHHAAH