#ACCIDENTALLY POSTED THE WRONG VERSION OF THE DRAWING AT FIRST OOPS

[skyllion-uwu]

For the ask game!!

4, 12, 19, 23!

YAYAYAY THANK YOU!!

4. Favourite things to draw?

I really like drawing my OCs! I'm also not very good at drawing animals but I like drawing them because they look like funny little creatures :3

12. Show your favourite drawing from this year

One digital, one traditional. The digital one was one of my first attempts at a background so I'm proud of it. And the traditional one was some style experimentation I did for a Cringetober promp and it turned out really cool and the story meaning behind it makes me chew sticks

19. Favourite character(s) to draw?

Outside of my OCs, I like drawing Batman characters in general because I love coming up with designs for them, but especially Catwoman, Scarecrow, Two Face, and Naajia Wayne (she's a transfem version of Damian my friend @/dyggot made for their universe and we both forget she's not canon but she is to me. DC just hasn't written her coming out yet). Oh, and Mr Mind! Silly Evil Worm :)

23. Do you listen to music or watch shows while you work? If so, what’s your favourite?

I listen to music! Shows are too distracting dhdbjshs For music I'll do something related to the subject matter and as a result have one million different playlists (exaggerating. I think maybe 400 or so)

Artist Asks

[bestworstcase]

I urgh, made a reblog earlier on your post about The Shallow Sea, asked a question there which you might have seen and then accidentally deleted it (oops!)

Anyway I wanted to ask do you think the fanus’s struggle for equality will be involved somehow in salem’s villian-to-hero arc? Because fanus and salem (and grimm) are just so heavily connected. She actually had a very great chance with sienna but unfortunately adam killed her.

And also if you could elaborate this salem being the god of animals thing, did she actually created fanus or it’s more about symbolic connection?

An additional note which’s just something I found very interesting. In the opening of v6, adam appears as the leader of white fang while the song goes ‘the river knows to reach the sea’. Besides the chronological order goes cinder-adam-the rest of salem’s force. (Added that rising is a salem song)

oh i. i think about salem and the faunus and grimm only a normal amount. there's more that i've written on the topic than that (among others, i have a relevant post about tyrian and his worship of salem somewhere but i cannot for the life of me find it) but tumblr, u know. 

not directly faunus related but the god of choice post is salient because rwby handles divinity in a very polytheist way, and while the recent alchemy post was just for fun it does also lay out the thematically essential death/resurrection element of salem's immortality with more clarity. 

(my other mythology tin hat is that salem was the original inspiration for 'the warrior in the woods') (<- tangent). 

TL;DR: i think she is the literal, though possibly indirect, creator of the faunus (through her combination of human + grimm into own being; the faunus descend from this harmony of opposites in some way) and that at some point in history, she belonged to faunus civilization and the mythical figure of the 'god of animals' arose through a combination of worship of salem herself + stories she told about the brothers in relation to her transformations.

(notice that the god of animals in 'the shallow sea' resembles darkness in character, and the one in 'the judgment of faunus' resembles light, but both versions are also unrecognizable as the brothers because they interact with their chosen people in a reciprocal manner—faunus choose to be changed in both stories. where ozma uses myth to guide humans toward what his god wants them to be, salem used myth to uphold her idea of what the brothers should have been and what kind of gods deserve reverence.)

the narrative has not ever been shy about making symbolic connections between the faunus and the grimm—like, blake reveals her ears for the first time whilst gazing at and identifying herself with the beowolf trampled underfoot by human huntsmen in beacon's statue. the white fang wear grimm masks because "humans wanted to make monsters of us, so we chose to don the faces of monsters." qrow in the faunus WOR episode more or less explicitly describes faunus as in-between humans and grimm.  

(<- which is not necessarily accurate because qrow's narration is chock full of obvious subconscious bias—to the point of straight up saying "honestly, it's not too hard to sympathize" with the perspectives of humans who hunted down the faunus like animals because "seeing something that looks like you and acts like you walk out of a forest and reveal a pair of fangs can be… upsetting" and in no way are we meant to take that as an objective statement; in V1 weiss is unambiguously portrayed as the one in the wrong for hating faunus on the grounds that the white fang is at war with her family's company, a reason that is a lot less shaky than "fangs are upsetting" and yet is (properly) framed as irrational and bigoted.

but qrow's perspective is meant to reveal cultural attitudes, not objective facts, and his overt placement of faunus between humans and grimm is interesting in the context of everything else the narrative does to draw a connection between faunus and grimm)

salem is "your grace" to her followers and ghira is "your grace" as the chieftain of kuo kuana, implying that salem might outright self-identify as a faunus. she wants to secure  sienna khan's alliance (<- a genuine activist) and drops adam (<- a terrorist) like a hot potato after he murders her, she explicitly has no plans to attack menagerie, and menagerie doesn't… seem to have a grimm problem… like at all. zero grimm attacks in kuo kuana across two volumes there and not a single character in menagerie mentions them as a problem.

so rwby is not exactly being subtle. 

generally, i do not think the heavy emphasis put on the white fang arc was solely being overambitious about doing a Racism Subplot; i don't think it's coincidental that the narrative completed the white fang arc and then immediately launched the "salem backstory" arc with the lost fable. the white fang arc sets up for the lost fable and salem's arc is inextricable from the faunus-persecution narrative because she, in every way that matters, IS a faunus herself.

and i think that is very much going to eventuate in V10+ yeah. it's already beginning to—the affirmation of jabber's personhood and overt sympathy afforded to neo and the cat, in tandem with blake's arc in V9 being toward vocally embracing and taking pride in being a faunus as the culmination of her journey out of shame in V1-6 and quiet figuring-herself-out in V7-8, points strongly in that direction. 

[melchinafan]

Oh yeah, same hat on post length. I try, but...I very easily get caught up in my rambles. Even on art posts, 'cause I like explaining the process or inspiration or the like. XD

Oof yeah, the way urge to create vs. no energy can clash sucks SO BAD. Fingers crossed your results come back positive, and you can find someone to help! (And that if they bizarrely don't somehow, that you can still find someone who will listen to "LOOK, whatever the cause, I am Struggling, and need help finding one (or more) thing(s) or another to make this suck less.") And ugh the bonus time blindness side effect from not knowing how long things will take resulting in being unable to start/do anything if there is something else scheduled for a specific time later. Because what if you get distracted and lose track of time, or get into a groove and don't wanna stop though I guess that's more the executives dysfunctioning, or asldfjs it sucks.

OOOOH YOU DRAW BOTH HIEI AND KURAMA SO PRETTY aaaaaa and Hiei's little pointy ears! I waffle back and forth between making them a little pointy or leaving them rounded but it's SUCH a great look. Ahaha and the way the cat ear headband puffs down the streaks in his hair, so cute. And the bloody grinning one, hell yeah, love it. Also agree with Kurama having your hairstyle when he hit that in-between stage, I had mine do that flippy thing too when it started growing past my shoulders, back when I had it that long. And yeah, you should be proud, even of stuff that's "just" sketches! Things don't have to be all big and finished and fancy to be fun and delightful to make/see I say, to both of us, because I know the phrase "perfect is the enemy of done," but following it is another beast entirely... And it doesn't matter how much relative screentime they got, Kurama loves his family so much he wrangled a magic cellphone that worked across dimensions in the frickin' 90s so yeah! They do deserve art!

I unfortunately don't have much recent YYH art, since I was in an art rut for a long while after high school, and what broke me out of it until I burned out again oops was my favorite video game, so it's. Kinda mostly stuff for that, plus some other fanart. ^^' But the (currently) third post in my art tag is Karasu, at least! (You might also like the Yami Bakura at the bottom of the first page? At the least, I'm pretty proud of the method/effect/lighting I did for it, and how his bloody grin turned out. >:D) I remember the drawing I was most proud of in high school had been Kurama based on some official art, which I added legs to (because it/the version I had cut off around the waist or so). At the time, I couldn't see anything outright wrong with it/how I could've done better, but I knew I would be able to someday...I really wanna find and redraw it, to see how much better I can do now! But alas, it hasn't turned up in any of the old (physical) art folders I've gone through yet. A few other YYH drawings did, though, if you wanna see some of my ooold stuff (from like...2005, haha).

Yeah, for knitting there's like...some stuff I have memorized now 'cause I've done 'em so much, but. I definitely double-check tutorials now and then to make sure I'm not doing things wrong. (Like I did when I first picked it back up, and was accidentally knitting through the back loop instead of normally...not a huge issue/difference, but still. Oops. XD) And AAAA THOSE ARE ALL SO COOL!! The first two seem absolutely on-brand for you/your two kins, hehe. The rose is so neat...it looks like it's done as one spiral, but had something about the construction that formed a wavy effect that imitates having a bunch of petals? So cool. oAo Love how nerdy most of the gifts you made are, too! Is the cube reinforced at all, or does the density of the yarn manage to help it keep shape? AND THE CAT PLUSH IS SO GOOD, WHAT A FUN BIG LITTLE CREATION, AND ITS YARN LOOKS SO SOFT. AND THE MACARON SOUNDS SO CUTE!! I love the sound of the alterations you've been doing, such excellent little bonus touches to make it that much more delightful!

I...am realizing I don't have very many photos of the things I've knitted. Or they're stuck in progress because I have particular ideas for how I want to finish them, but haven't figured out how to do that yet. I know when I first knit in high school, I probably started with a simple scarf and some dishcloths, as you do. I remember a neon-green easy-lace capelet that I gave to a friend after I realized I had uh...nothing that it matched to wear with. Also a tank top from a "here's all you need to knit [X]!" kit my mom got me. Then I stopped knitting until...*checks dates of folders* 2021, when I found someone who took crochet commissions to make a hood pattern for me, and they ended up with an extra skein left over, so. I figured I'd make some small accessories to match with it...all unfinished, but I've got some flowers planned, myself! For finished stuff...I've made a pair of green fingerless gloves (photographed in front of the dust cover I knitted for my tablet--first photo has better color accuracy, second shows off texture better). I'd swapped out regular rib knit on the cuff section for a funky zig-zag type that I liked better. I also made some red armwarmers, with a shifting cable situation I added to the back (that's supposed to branch from tiny, to medium, to wide, though the wide set is a bit flat). Currently I'm trying to design some bees, as anatomically accurate and at the smallest size that I can manage! (Pardon the inaccurate colors on them, I've been testing with some extra yarn so I don't mess up the yarn I plan to actually use. XD) I'll be using the stripe pattern on the left, and have since figured out a way to flatten the heads out for more accuracy. The current stage I'm on is trying to figure out the best way to get the legs to work! (Could I just attach a couple chains and call it good? Sure. OR I could spend days/weeks testing out combinations of chain + cord + methods of forming joints + figuring out a way to make it so the workers because I'm also designing drone and queen variants ahaha can have an anchor to embroider a full pollen basket onto their back legs...) I have...so many more ideas for things I wanna try to design, but. I'll get to them eventually. BEES FIRST

Perfectionism is...certainly making designing these bees take longer than it could. >_> But I like the results I'm landing on, soo...oh well. <.<' I find it slightly easier to break through the perfectionism block when it comes to drawing, by tricking my brain into making something deliberately "sketchy" (even if I end up overworking it past that stage asldfkjs). Post-it doodles are SO much easier to just...do, and finish, than if I try to draw on nice paper or pull out my tablet. In part 'cause the tiny size limits how much detail there can be, and in part because it's like...it enforces a "casual" feeling? So you're way less likely to run into the trap of "but I wanna make it NICE," because it's "just whatever" on purpose. But "just whatever" can still turn out pretty good. Ah, I hope you have the energy to get back to writing again soon, as well! The responses on your ask blog that I checked out were so thorough and thought-out! oAo (I also see that someone asked about demons' reproductive anatomy, and that tangentially reminded me that I have headcanoned that at least some demons have a crop like birds and insects do--because that makes more sense to me as far as where Yukina and Mukuro stored the hiruiseki long-term, rather than the stomach, where things go to get digested.) As for the lingering asks in your inbox, that is one of the wonderful things about text-based communication--so long as wherever it's written continues to exist, you can (generally) come back to it and respond at any time! I know that easy access to fast chat/messaging/texting/etc. has made some folks feel like they need to reply to everything now now now, but...unless it's an emergency, or otherwise time-sensitive, I don't feel like that should be the case. It's stressful, and for what? If you forgot what you were discussing, the messages are there to re-read. (I mean, it's more understandable to fret over if you're prone to forgetting about a message if you set it aside after reading it, and want to avoid that. But even then! It's still there, waiting just fine! And folks should be allowed the grace of "oh shit sorry I meant to reply and then forgot," because so many things can cause that. But maybe that stems from my propensity for the flip side of time blindness--where there can be days/months/years between communications, and yet they can be picked up as if no time had passed.)

DANGARANG I was gonna send you the clip I have saved of Yusuke getting rotated, but apparently videos aren't allowed in reblogs. Oh well. XD (I forget which episode it was, but it was in Chapter Black, after the group gets through the psychic trials and find out Genkai set it up.) But I love how you've adapted the phrase for frequent use, that sounds hilarious. :D And I dunno if it counts as a meme as such, but...well, I had been naming the screenshots I took while I watched through the series in descriptive ways (typically to sum up context but sometimes for comedy), and when Sensui did the "Hard Ki Gun" thing, I saved one shot as a baffled "MAN DOOR HAND GUN CAR DOOR WHAT" (though if I dropped the logical pairing of "hand gun," the utter shock of that scene would be better written as "man door hand hook car GUN")

I've had cats throughout my life, too! And yeah, the little mlem when he licks his arm is just. Peak cat behavior. But also his propensity for sleeping in trees, and being up high, and taking frequent naps (like when he went "fuck this I'm taking a nap wake me up when you're done" because he couldn't play video games so he couldn't do anything to help against Gamemaster) asldfjs there's SO MUCH it's so funny.

Asdlkfja and clasping hands dot meme (again) at needing more storage space for things that don't necessarily need to be saved...I record cutscenes when I play some video games, especially if they're unrepeatable, so uh. I do have several duplicates of given cutscenes, just 'cause I've got a bunch of different characters who went through them...so I absolutely feel you on wanting to keep them all. XD

ALSDKJFSA I GASPED OUT LOUD WHEN I CHECKED YOUR ICON EDITS you keep making Kurama SO PRETTY. I mean he always is but you TURNED IT UP TO ELEVEN. Also oh snap a collar when did that art happen, where's that sourced from? I don't think I've seen that one before. oAo He should get to have a collar more often, as a treat. And that official art where Hiei has one of the hiruiseki as an earring is just. SO GOOD. One of my favorites of him.

Oh oh I remembered earlier the other situation where Kurama went along with a plan to convince [someone] that [someone else] was dead. At the end of the Dark Tournament, when Kurabara was severely wounded while they were collectively fighting Toguro, he asked Kurama to act as if he had died, so that Yusuke would get pissed off enough to win. So TWICE it's specifically been Kuwabara asking Kurama to help him convince Yusuke that [someone] died. I am now convinced that the bit on the Dance Mix CD was absolutely a third instance of that plot between those two. XD (Hilariously, it's a prank that Bakura pulls with someone in YGO once, as well. So many little parallels he's got with Kurama, it's ridiculous. And no worries! Same hat on having a long list of things I'd like to watch eventually, but my brain just almost never being in the mood to watch things, even if it's otherwise bored...)

Oooh, yes please, I'd love a few choice song recommendations! I think another thing that might make my brain bounce off playlists is that it goes "stars too long, can't do it, not today"...even though I can and do listen to music while I do other things! So having just a handful should make it more agreeable. I think I generally also prefer rock, so I dunno if that helps narrow it down salkdjfa I guess I also like some ballads and folk music? Though that might sometimes be 'cause they lean towards being morbid or have rock vibes or are particularly catchy?? But whatever you think I should specifically check out would be good! (Maybe also if any of them have cellos? It's one of my favorite instruments oh to have the same vocal range. I was so sad when I checked through the Rasputina songs I have and none of them really stood out as potential recommendations, haha. Crunchy rock-style cello is SO FUN. I guess maaaaaybe Hunter's Kiss as like a tragic Kurahi AU sort of thing? But I'm just stretching feasibility as an excuse to recommend the band 'cause I love their sound, so it's probably not quite playlist-worthy. XD Maybe Transylvanian Concubine as a general recommendation/if you like vampires, just 'cause the rhythm of the song is fun to sing along with, and the lyrics are delightful with how the ending word of one line is the starting word of the next.)

I also totally get needing songs to hit Just Right to warrant being on a playlist hello perfectionism my old friend. I'm so glad you enjoyed some of my recommendations! :D (Awww that post about your specific aspec headcanons for how Hiei and Yukina are is so sweet! Poor goobers, trying so hard in their own ways. <3) Also agree that Turn Back the Clock is too specific to fit just right. It had come to mind based on vibes, but I went and listened to it after posting and was all hmmm yeah close but not quite. (Still good for inciting The Feels, just not really for anybody in YYH.) And I'll be sure to ping you if I happen to run across any more songs that fit the series! :3 (...I say, like it's some nebulous future thing when I eventually get back to listening to not-YYH CDs/tracks again...and then immediately go double-check the songs I've got from The Cranberries, just in case. XD 'Cause most of what I've got is sad and solemn so it seems like there shouldn't be anything, but part of my brain was INSISTING there must be something and OOOOH THE ICICLE MELTS, FOR RUI, MOURNING HIEI AND HINA AND BEING PISSED AT THE OTHER KOORIME...the only flaw to me is "read the paper" would be "I was fucking there" but UGH MY HEART. Oh wow, and maybe Dreaming My Dreams, as Youko to Shiori right after she saves him as a kid? With "your baby" from the first verse being "Shuiichi." ASdlfksj I am SO glad I double-checked, these are SOLID in my brain, and for such rare-to-feature characters!)

What a small 'net! I saw a reblog of your normalize post, & your avatar caught my eye. So I figured I'd peek at your blog in case you had more shiny stuff to see, & noticed you encourage folks tag you in Kurama & Hiei stuff. I pinned in the back of my head that, after checking out your stuff, I should ask if you want a link to skit translations from the Dance Mix CD—then saw YOU'RE the one who made the beautifully-organized Yu Yu Jukebox! That helped me figure out what CDs I wanted to buy! :D <3

yoo hell yeah!! im glad that helped you out!! its always nice to see the things i make can be useful :3 and nice that my kurama icon is catching the eye of fellow yyh fans hehe!

yu yu hakusho is a huuuge hyperfixation of mine, but my adhd has been making me struggle with focusing on doing the creative stuff i wanna do (like drawing and writing), so ive been instead doing a shit ton of other things revolving around yyh- like collecting the music and making the yu yu jukebox channel, ripping frames to post and organize them on my sideblog @reikai-records , and ive also been working on making a dialogue transcript for the dub (still unsure where to put it online when im done with that tho, atm i just have it on google docs, not too far on it)!

i cant remember if ive encountered translations for the skits of the dance mix cd though, id def love to see that!

[crescentmoonrider]

I posted 2,865 times in 2022

That's 147 more posts than 2021!

105 posts created (4%)

2,760 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pikarasaaa

@duesternis

@dabiden

@proximally

I tagged 2,029 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#jujutsu kaisen - 209 posts

#pokemon - 144 posts

#video - 121 posts

#long post - 80 posts

#homestuck - 59 posts

#mob psycho 100 - 58 posts

#gif - 57 posts

#dracula - 51 posts

#clothes - 51 posts

#history - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#(slams the table) give me back my hours of pmd i didnt mean to load that save file i didnt even mean to have a save state my finger slipped

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

it’s been..... 3 years......... oops ?

for the luckily unaware, i first posted about this AU back in 2019 for the kakaobi week, said “someone remind me to make a post with like, more details about this AU” and then promptly forgot about it

anyway uh, Root AU !

basically, Obito is found by Root, Orochimaru is brought in to experiment on his body with some HashiraDNA™ (it’s not like Obito would survive otherwise, so no consequences if things turn out badly Again) and surprisingly the graft takes

so now Danzo has a new tool, Orochimaru has a long-term pet project and some reassurance that his HashiraDNA™ experiments could work, and Obito is Going Through It

his new body is super fucked up. not only is he now a weird amalgamation of cells that only fit together thanks to seals engraved inside his skin (? or whatever the equivalent of skin is for half-tree-half-man limbs), but the rest of his body is Also covered in seals to guarantee obedience, silence, not bringing harm to Root or Danzo, not revealing his original identity, not killing himself... but also some of them are responsible for keeping him alive, so it’s a mixed bag

his new name is Kinoko, in katakana. because i thought it was funny to call him mushroom and/or tree child, even though it doesn’t fit the pattern of Root names. also it’s just fucked up enough that Orochimaru would like it i think, so we’ll just say he’s the one who chose that name

so that’s the origins of Kinoko

because his old self has been buried by Root training, seals, and trauma, his feelings relative to Kakashi and Rin are pretty different from canon, in that while he witnessed Rin’s death through the shared sharingan connection with Kakashi (which led to the discovery of said connection and the implementation of some news seals inside Obito/Kinoko’s eye socket to make sure nothing from his side goes to Kakashi) and it awakened his mangekyou, he doesn’t keep a grudge. Rin’s death becomes just one more fucked up Root thing in his mind

unlike Kinoe, whose mastery of mokuton is used to great avail with complex buildings and structures, Kinoko’s version of it is incomplete and entirely tied to his body. on the one hand, this limits his range a lot, but on the other he doesn’t require hand signs and thus can launch very efficient surprise attacks

by the time Team 7 is established, Kinoko is assigned to watch over them and make sure nothing goes wrong with either the 9 Tails or the last living Uchiha who isn’t an abomination of nature

while he cannot reveal his identity, nothing in his programming forbids him from being accidentally spotted by Kakashi, which accidentally happens. accidentally

yeah Kinoko is kinda tired of Danzo’s shit, turns out, and would very much like some freedom

51 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#4

This is true love.

just had to draw the queerest straight couples in jjk on a double date

Hakari and Kirara have such t4t swag... and of course there’s wifeguy and monsterfucker supreme Yuuta and whatever he’s got going on with Rika

in both cases : relationship goals, albeit in a very different way /o\

51 notes - Posted October 5, 2022

#3

my good buddy @b4kuch1n has been doing dress-designing streams these days, and made me want to flex my fashion muscles myself a bit

also, yknow

yuuta in a cute dress good

67 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

#2

See the full post

127 notes - Posted August 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ino is just so shaped, i love him

228 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[that-banana-headed-bovine]

Season 2 Shenanigans

AHEYYY sO I went on a giant Knight Rider binge the last few days, and I've FINALLY seen all of Season 2!!  Big thank you to @trust-doesnt-oxidize who watched with me and stayed up absurdly late because I wanted to see Garthe before I went to bed AIDBWJFNEM

I just wanted to post a quick reaction to all of the episodes, spoiler warning activated!

Goliath Parts 1 & 2

I LOVE MY DOOFY VILLAIN SON. K.I.T.T. is HILARIOUS, I love his dynamic with Goliath, as is evident by my handle oops- I hate how Season 2 starts with my son almost dying tho, almost had a heart attack tyvm! This is back before I knew anything about the direction of the rest of the series so I was legitimately in shock lmbo- Moustache Michael is a gem tho I love him. I SURE HOPE HE STAYS A DUMB VILLAIN WHO'S JUST REALLY SILLY TO WATCH. SURE HOPE THEY DON'T TAKE HIM TOO SERIOUSLY.

Brother's Keeper - Blind Spot

I- forgot that these episodes existed until I looked at the episode list for this, soooo...

I should really not be lazy and look up an episode summary and try to remember what I thought of these but the problem is that I am in fact going to be lazy because this post is already taking so long

Return to Cadiz

This episode is so,,, frustrating.  Not the plot or the format or anything like that, nono... I mean how they essentially introduced April.  Like, okay, I know that she has been here since the beginning of Season 2, but she hadn’t really said much up until now.  This was where we really got to know who she would be, and, uh... After this episode, I absolutely hated her.  Despised even.  She forces my son to go drive on the same ocean on the same beach where Karr DIED without any testing beforehand AND is chastising Michael in a flirtatious way.  The heCK is this woman?!  WHERE’S MY BONNIE???!!!  I was so mad at her you guys I.  But the thing is, I don’t hate April, not by a long shot.  In some ways, the rest of Season 2 does a better job giving her a character than all of Season 1 did for Bonnie!  I really enjoyed April and wish that both could have stayed.  BUT THIS EPISODE makes her SO HATEABLE and I just ugh.

also I tried to watch this a long time before I got to and after seeing the intro and not knowing the title of K.I.T.T. vs. K.A.R.R. at that point in time, I thought Karr was gonna come back based on all the panoramic shots of the underwater and I am so sad that he didn’t so oops this episode gets my wrath a bit

K.I.T.T. the Cat

0/10 there are no cats.  False advertising.

Seriously tho this episode was a pretty run of the mill episode.  The best part of the episode was Kitt, because it always is, but seriously that guy with the hedges was amazing- I GOT THE GAG BY THE THIRD TIME IT HAPPENED BUT THE FIRST TIME HE GOT STUCK IN THE TREE OH MY GOSH I WAS DY I N G- Also the fact that Kitt messed him up again trying to apologize is so sad yet funny ahosihdfiohasdf

Custom K.I.T.T.

APRIL GET THAT STUPID DECAL OFF HIM OH MY G O S H-

Somehow her 2-d design ideas looked almost worse than the actual thing and I thought the actual thing looked like a that default sticker decal that you get on a Hotwheels car.  I’msorryI’mnottryingtoroastanyartistsIjust I why there’s so much potential with giving Kitt decals :(

Seriously I want to use my drawing software to draw fire on Kitt at some point because it could be done so cool and that ain’t it chief.  I’m probably not going to be too great at it either since I don’t do backgrounds nearly enough and fire would be a background element for the most part but I could at least alter the colors ; m ;  OR LIGHTNING OH MY GOSH AAA LIGHTNING WOULD BE SO COO L ON HIM-  anyway it needed so much more red- and it was so asymmetrical too aHHHH-

I.  I’m fine it’s fine I’m fine it’s fi-

I don’t even know why Kitt needed a decal anyway, the other cars didn’t have to have decals to be considered custom, surely his dash alone could have done it-

ANYWAY

This ep was so WEIRD at times oh my gosh.  What was that series of insults the two ladies spat at each other?  Like the one just complimented her eyeshadow aggressively and the other one accused her of wearing “training bras” or something like whAT EXCU S E ME What is this episode?!  Kitt was so upset about the decal too :[

Soul Survivor

OH MY GOSH IT’S CUTE IT’S SO CUTE YOU GUYS-

I was recalling @knight-rider-fan-2000‘s theory about this episode (plz go check them out btw aaaa), and after watching it I totally agree.  Michael was especially kind in this episode, and he seems to be overall a more supportive mentor for Kitt this season, starting with Soul Survivor and being pretty consistent throughout.  I love their new dynamic so much- There’s definitely still episodes and moments where he’s closer to Season 1 Michael, but Season 2 Michael is a far superior human being in my opinion.

KITT’S SO ADORABLE LIL TINY CPU OH MY G O S H YOU’RE TELLING ME OUR SON IS ACTUALLY T H A T SMALL AAAAA

Michael really is so sweet in this oh my gosh, that whole arc where Kitt is his partner no matter what and that the car isn’t what made Kitt-- AW!!!!  ADORABLE!  Kitt being so unsure that he repeatedly asks Michael how it feels to see the Knight 2000 without him in it or fusses about his limited functionality as Michael patiently reassures him again and again that he’s wanted just the way he is, I just- Feelings.

One thing that hit me as funny though is when Michael finds Kitt’s CPU in the garage and the trash can is just like PULSATING and then he like yells at it like “tAlK tO mE kItT” and Kitt’s jus sitting there as a box of colored lights like “...”

I can just imagine a cut scene where Kitt’s like, “Oh and by the way Michael, if I could have said something I would have done so LONG before you started asking me to.  Believe it or not, I don’t like being in a trash can.”

“You Dingaling.”

Also Michael and his whole “I’m an honest man you can trust me listen I’ll give you a small TV just like this one” and then he proceeded to not do that.  Hmm.

Anyway, yeah, it doesn’t get any cuter than this.  The only thing that would have been better is if Adrianne didn’t exist.  Good thing she’s gone now~!

Ring of Fire

THIS IS SO TRIPPY THIS EPISODE IS SO TRIPPY

I would say that I hate Michael trying to get Kitt to subject himself to testing if he can withstand insane levels of heat.  I would say that if April did not then walk in and karma the crap out of him.  Gosh I loved it.  How he immediately was like whAT NOOO YOU WOULDN’T MAKE SOMEONE DO THAT and Kitt’s just like :/

dang hypocrite, Michael my feelings towards you are so complicated sometimes

anyway

So. Many. Dogs.  I usually love seeing Kitt interact with dogs but this started to get unsettling, I can’t blame him for not loving 6 different dogs all swarming him at once whAT- Have they nothing better to do than to jump on my son.  What the heck language were those banjo players singing in?  Was it a language or was it just gibberish keyboard spam that accidentally made it to the final script AOSHDIAOHSD

This whole swamp setting is really unique to this episode, and part of me really does commend the chance they took by switching up settings.  It’s almost always a small town on desert roads.  The way this all happened though was??? What?

I think the scriptwriters forgot that Return to Cadiz exists because Kitt got so much water damage AHSIDHAOISDH- I know April said the system was damaged but surely it would have minimized this a little bit.  Also did literally anything change by the end of this episode?  We didn’t see the guy get arrested, did we?  And the girl decided to stay living out in the swamp forest thing.  The only thing is that she, like, conquered her fear or something?  Even though she still isn’t acting in that direction?

This episode didn’t actually d o anything did it LOL

alsowhatevenwasthatexplosion

It’s not a bad episode though, just really bizarre.

Knightmares

YOU KNOW WHAT I SAID ABOUT IT NOT GETTING ANY CUTER?

I WAS WRONG.

THIS EPISODE this episode THIS EPISODE.  TOP TWO MATERIAL?  MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK.  TDR will always be my fav until the end of time I’m pretty sure because I don’t think another episode will get me to ugly sob like that (aLTHOUGH I AM MEGA HYPE HERE BECAUSE I WATCHED KvK AND IT WAS GOOD ALSO BUT WE’LL GET TO TH A T LATER) but in terms of sheer adorable buddies happiness this is the winner by all accounts.  I really like how they portray Michael Long, and I genuinely think the arc here has an impact on the rest of the season in terms of how Michael treats Kitt.

I love how Michael had told Kitt a long time ago how they were partners, like how he used to have a partner when he was a police officer, and how now when Long is so confused about everything everyone is trying to tell him, Kitt chooses this specific word to help introduce himself, and everything feels a bit more grounded for Long.  I love how Long immediately revolts against the way Devon and April try to tell him he’s wrong about who he is currently, which is, despite good intentions, the opposite of what he needs.  I love how Kitt then swoops in behind him and decides to treat Michael Long like a WHOLE NEW PERSON, one who Kitt tries to get to know.  I love how Long recognizes just how hard Kitt is trying and genuinely opens up to him.  I love how he never reverts to being mean or rude to Kitt after he gets in the car the second time, NOT EVEN ONE sarcastic comment.  How he never calls him a computer again after Kitt asks him not to, how he compliments his new partner left and right, how despite having no clue who Knight is he really wants to be that person for Kitt, because Kitt seems sincere and pretty great.  I adore that bit where Kitt gently, lovingly lists traits good and bad about Knight and how Long can finally connect to this other version of himself.

“One more thing about Michael Knight.”

“What’s that?”

“I was extremely fond of him”

I love how Long starts saying “Good work, Kitt” after they complete parts of their mission and how Knight does not stop this for the rest of the season, even after he regains his memory.  I love so much about this and could frankly talk about it even more than this but this is a brief summary so.  So yeah, we’re moving on ;W;

Silent Knight

It’s funny so.  I didn’t realize that Knight Rider had done any Christmas specials.  I knew about the Halloween specials, but I didn’t realize the Christmas special existed.  And so I was laughing at how funnee I was while I was like “SILENT KNIGHT HOLY KNIGHT ALL IS COME-” and then that’s exactly what the pun was meant to be.  they done bamboozled me.

ANYWAY THIS MIGHT BE THE STRANGEST CHRISTMAS SPECIAL TO EVER EXIST EVER.

They kept mentioning the Christmas banquet thing to make it mildly related to the season but then it wasn’t, it really wasn’t, it all revolved around clowns.  There was.  There was a Santa I guess.  Albeit a bank robber Santa--

And the kid is juuust obnoxious at first, I love how Kitt absolutely hates him immediately for some reason even though Kitt usually doesn’t hate people unless they do something really bad, but it feels so deserved because the kid is a jeeerk.  Maybe it’s because the kid accused him of endangering human life and that Hurt?

Kid: Just let me drive and I’ll throw away this dumb clock thing

Michael: No

Kitt: YES

Michael: W H A T ?!

Kitt: YES

Michael: ugh whatever

I was kind of expecting Kitt to pull some sort of shenanigans while the kid was driving as payback for whatever he absolutely despised him for, but Kitt was actually just really sweet and gave him a bit of freedom until he started endangering himself and then helped him get back into control.  Very wholesome.

AND the end was CUTE though, like the boy who had previously been a jerk going over and patting Kitt and being just sincerely nice to him ;w; wholesome

A Knight in Shining Armor

Gosh I always forget what this episode is about because the title is so loosely related LOL

The dynamic with Michael and the girl of the week was actually really cute and chemistry was not entirely nonexistant, so that’s a nice change from some of these that come out of nowhere.  Her arc was actually pretty sweet, how she resented technology because she wanted to be loved and cared about, how she thought computers were incapable of doing that until she talked to Kitt...

And the cave was prebby.

But why couldn’t she understand that her DAD was in PRISON.

“Why didn’t he ever come to see me?” “Because he was in Jail.” “oh.  But why didn’t he call???”

Diamonds Aren't a Girl's Best Friend

SOMEONE

AHAHA

SOMEONE CALLED MICHAEL

AHAHA

BERNIE CALLED HIM A DINGALING. Speaking of Bernie, all I could think this whole episode was

White-Line Warriors

LONG-LEGGED PUNK-

Seriously idk what this season’s love affair with the baddies picking on Michael but I love it.

Honestly the twist of this episode was really interesting, I still don’t fully get how the baddies’ plan comes together though.  So the song plays on the radio and the police go to investigate the drag racers and the crims are IMMEDIATELY ready?  okay then.

Radio announcer Kitt tho.  That is blessed.

I want Radio Announcer Kitt.  Then again, I just want more Kitt in general so.

Race for Life

INHALE

Y’ALL ARE REAAALLY TRYING TO MAKE ME DETHRONE KNIGHTMARES AS THE CUTEST, AREN’T YOU?

Well ha, joke’s on you episode, you’re getting docked points for only giving Kitt and Becky two interactions.  And for making the donor obnoxious for most of the episode (although that end scene was pretty adorable).  So, okay, second cutest.

THE WAY KITT WAVED I-

HE IS SO CUTE

he is so cute.

Devon was really sweet this episode, not gonna lie.  I’m not sure if I’ve said it on this blog before, but I had strong dislike for Devon after Season 1.  I can explain that later if anyone wants, I’d be perfectly willing to compare the two seasons, but Season 2 Devon is pretty alright.  He doesn’t have much of a presence, but when he does, he’s kind.  I’m assuming he let Becky win at checkers, in which case uh, aW?!  Devon that’s cute.

KITT TRYING TO TEACH THE TEN YEAR OLD CHESS AHSIODHOAISD I LOVE YOU BUDDY

Also, I feel like this is the episode April really became her own character, separate from Cadiz.  She’d kind of just been a slightly perkier Bonnie, but now we get to see her family, her concerns... And April’s a pretty good character.

OH AND THE WHOLE “Kitt is family” ARC IS THE SWEETEST THING ASHDHAOSDohIAD

“Julio, meet Kitt.  He’s part of the family”

“Thank you, Michael.”

MY.  HEART.

Speed Demons

Okay so.  This is another one of those episodes where very little seemed to change by the end of the episode.  The guy who was actually in danger quit motorcycling anyway soooo...  The episode plot itself isn’t what I feel like talking about.

What was WITH that one announcer guy?  Were we meant to like him or not???  First he tries to Kick the Kitt and Kitt’s like :/ whatever

and then he comes back and they start to have like, a deep conversation, and he lovingly pats the hood before walking away.  And we’re like AWWW OKAY THIS GUY IS NOT TO BAD

AND THEN he asks Kitt to talk for someone and Kitt’s like “...” and the guy riots.  Why did Kitt not talk for him and why did the guy go so absolutely bonkers when he didn’t?  Were the cameras rolling and I just didn’t realize?  And then we kind of hate the guy again because he once again absolutely went ballistic at Kitt.  “That’s Showbiz.”

But then the dynamic with that coworker keeps coming up, and yeah, I guess she does seem a bit annoying.  But she also seems like a potential lady of the week and a potential protagonist.  So when she gets splashed with mud or whatever that was and the guys all like :D

What are we meant to be feeling?

Are we meant to feel bad for her or happy for him?

Because I just felt confused.

Goliath Returns 1 & 2

GOSH DARNIT ADRIANNE IS BACK

ALSO I-I-I I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT YOU BEING A DOOFY AND STUPID VILLAIN JUST P L E A S E STOP ; M ;

SERIOUSLY WHEN DID GARTHE TURN FULL PSYCHOPATH-

THE FEELING I GOT REMINDED ME OF WATCHING THE SHERLOCK FINALE.  S H E R L O C K  F I N A L E.

Sigh, I should have known he’d gone off the deep end when he walked into a hot tub with jeans on.

I will forever be mad at some versions coughincludingtheoneIwaswatchingoncough for cutting out the fact that Kitt’s microchip was almost ENTIRELY WIPED/OVERWRITTEN AND PUT INTO GOLIATH.  Because uh, the way the show cut it up for TV, it seems like Kitt’s really in no danger other than being annoyed.  But no, literally everyone almost dies.  Fun times!

Seriously why did this convoluted garbage get a two-parter but Kitt vs. Karr didn’t?

This episode makes me sad.  Not just because Garthe tried, and almost succeeded, to take away everything we love in this show.  Not just because this episode strayed far enough from the typical formula for this to seem like some dystopian nightmare version of Knight Rider. Not just because freaking Adrianne is back.

I mean because I loved Garthe’s character, and this totally changed it.  I like that they went into Garthe’s trauma a bit more with this one, but unlike some villains in the Knight Rider canon (okay let’s not play games, UNLIKE KARR-), what he does is so dastardly, SO insaNE, that there is no way to argue that he might be justified.  No.  No.  Garthe, Adrianne, and Goliath are gone now, and that’s how it had to be.

OH ALSO GO O F F APRIL YES QUEEN I LOVE YOU- I honestly felt so bad for her when she turned around and broke down right after standing up to him, like dang, that hurts.  And Devon was sweet in this episode too ;w;

Okay but were they planning on making another episode of this?  Because that end scene was such an obvious teaser it’s not even funny.

“I hope we don’t run into those very much drowned people out in the streets again, Michael.  And I especially hope that they do not construct another semitrailer with the exact same scale and name as the previous one that was driven into the ocean.”

“Yes, I agree Kitt, this is also an anxiety that I possess despite the fact that they are very much definitely Deceased.  I sure hope that plot convenience does not interfere in the future.”

THANK GOODNESS THAT ADRIANNE IS GONE

wait what?  her actress is in another episode as another character who’s just as awful? wHYYYYYY

A Good Knight's Work

THAT BEAR NEEDS TO DIE. I am so glad Michael ejected the dumb thing at the end, Kitt deserved it. Especially after Michael essentially told him to temporarily kill himself. Michael's a cyberbully now ig. The arc with Kitt and the car salesman was cute. Apparently deactivation is considered programming now? Michael my mans you could have given Kitt any warning at all (I kind of take this back after one of the Season 3 episodes I’ve watched uHHHH this was a lot of warning compared to how Michael rolls in S3 what the heck is wrong with him). Cute episode overall tho I guess. ALSO I JUST NOW REALIZED "A GOOD KNIGHT'S WORK" IS A PUN BECAUSE KITT IS WILTON KNIGHT'S WORK AND I'M MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT NOTICING IT SOONER-

Mouth of the Snake and that other garbage one that's title makes no sense

David might as well be a plank of wood. A plank of wood that yeets himself ten feet into the air whenever possible, but I digress. Does this count as superpowers? I just love how he offended Kitt 0.1 seconds after meeting him and then Michael proceeded to tell Kitt off for reacting. Love that soooo much. It's also hilarious to me how most of this episode has a similar structure to most Knight Rider episodes and then they randomly start reacreating the Most Dangerous Game--

Let it Be Me

Why isn't this the season finale?! I mean, I'm glad it's not, but why? This is way worse than White Bird like why- I feel like the Stevie episodes are kind of a controversy in this fandom? I loved the first one. This one's just, blegh it's okay. She and Michael still have pretty great chemistry WHEN THEY ARE SPEAKING IN REGULAR SPEECH. I do not like Stevie singing the same song with Michael 100 times. The duet at the end is kind of cute though, sue me I like corny things.

Stevie: I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have been with this one guy but ;m;

Michael: has been with approximately 100 women by now

Also Michael: How could you ;m;

Big Iron

This episode is kinda wild. Why does the guy manage to have a full out breakup with Lucy in less than one minute? Why is Michael a marriage counselor now? Why couldn't Kitt take the oxygen out of the cabin when Michael was definitely going to die if he didn't?  Since when does Turbo Boost use a ton of oxygen anyway?  Why does this man just immediately make up with his wife after finding out that she helped him? And most of all, WHY DIDN'T THAT BARTENDER LADY ACT THE LEAST BIT CONCERNED WHEN THEY ABSOLUTELY TORE UP THE PLACE??? Lmbo she's just like "Stop it guys :/"

It’s so bizarre that this is the season finale ahsdoifhasodf but go off I guess NBC

[space--cadet-glow]

Okay, for all of you wondering about my Octavo OC...

His name is Octavo Street. Octavo James Street, to be exact. He was a lutenist-turned-conductor who humiliatingly dies during one of his concerts. (This backstory I even did a 30-page comic over. That’s where these two drawings came from, by the way.)

He comes back as a Poe, but his spirit is pretty much bound to his baton and lute-- but mostly to the baton. ...Long story short, my version of Ganondorf finds the baton and basically turns him into his slave.

They "team up" and Ganon tries to torture the ever-loving crap out of my version of Vaati for plot-reasons... But Octavo isn't exactly having it and ends up accidentally becoming friends with Vaati. And then so-on-and-so-forth.

The only real difference, appearance wise, from canon Octavo is the fact that I designed him with loafers instead of oxfords for his shoes. That and his hair-- which is also much fluffier-- turned purple as a Poe. (Random fun fact: I actually had the correct pink colour for his hair in my markers the entire time. I don't know why I kept colouring his hair wrong. So after this realisation, I just made his "true" pink hair colour his "when alive" hair colour.)

I know exactly how the story ends, but... I don't want to spoil it. It's the fourth in-line of my terrible Fanfiction series that I keep mentioning. Funnily enough, I started writing the fourth one before the third one is even finished. Oops.

I don’t know if I’ll ever find the courage to post the Fanfictions, though. They rely a bit too heavily on inside-jokes. If I ever do so, I’d have to take the time to re-write them. That and the first one is nearly five years old and oh my gosh, I couldn’t write back then.

[fatethearcher]

NG+ Ann fic

AKA the fic idea where everyone dies in the final battle but somehow a character of one's choosing ends up back in time at the beginning so they can fix it all--- in this case it's Ann. If these ideas are taken for a fic with a different ship than mentioned, I don't mind-- feel free to send me links to them because I love NG+ style fics! -Ann's restart begins when she runs into Akira for the first time on her way to school, but she doesn't actually remember right away -Ann gets huge Migraines and waves of dejavu between her first day back in time and remembering, it's part of her getting settled in the past and remembering the future -Ann actually gets sent home super early on the day Shiho is going to jump because of her migraines-- but while walking home she sees the date somewhere and it comes back to her all of a sudden. Next thing she knows she's running back to Shujin because OMG SHIHO After that the ideas kinda diverge: A) Ann gets back in time and saves Shiho by talking her off the ledge B) Ann doesn't get there in time and Shiho jumps again C) Ann arrives just as Shiho's jumping and is able to use Hecate's power to save her. Oops, now everyone has seen Panther because she somehow magical-girled herself into her suit when she vaulted off the building to catch Shiho. (Then she does a dramatic speech about how Kamoshida will pay for this before disappearing into the Metaverse so she doesn't get caught by the cops or something) In B Ann joins the Phantom Thieves the same way as before (sort of) and deals with the dilemma of what she should change to help everyone survive the final battle. She's a bit reluctant on changing things--- and a bit discouraged because she couldn't even use her predicament to save the one person who mattered most...... In A Ryuji and Akira speak with Shiho instead of Mishima since Mishima gave no indication of knowing what happened; since Shiho never jumped. They get her to talk to them and Ryuji accidentally lets slip that they can make Kamoshida pay--- and Shiho is like "I want in". Ryuji and Akira both tell her no and head to the palace immediately after school. Shiho follows them and ends up taking Ann's place as the one being pulled in with them. While all of this is going on, Ann is looking for Ryuji and Akira because she couldn't find them earlier. Because she changed time, they didn't meet by the vending machines during school--- and with this she never had her "I want to help" moment. She arrives at the alley in front of the school just in time to see Shiho using the MetaNav herself to go in a second time. And that's when Ann realizes that she somehow retconed herself from the Phantom Thieves. She also realizes it's probably for the best, though, because future knowledge is dangerous. She decides to work in the background changing little things and appearing in battles where the others are having trouble (because she's level 99-- her whip can destroy most beginning shadows with one hit :d ). Basically Ann is the 6th ranger under the subtrope eleventh hour ranger XD C is similar to A, but it has the twist of Ann saving Shiho in her thief uniform... which alerts the world to the Phantom Thieves' existence before they even actually exist. She also may have had to use Kamoshida's palace to escape the area without drawing suspicion to her non-costumed self. (Self indulgent scene where Panther is princess carrying Shiho through the Metaverse because fuck she forgot to let go of Shiho before she used the MetaNav) And because of that instead of Ryuji and Akira pulling Shiho in the first time, she sees them use the MetaNav the next day at school, and remembering the words Panther said uses her own version of the app (which appeared when Ann fucked up lol) to follow them--- and she gets caught up in shenanigans. Ann basically princess carried Shiho back to Shiho's house through the Metaverse, and in turn doesn't end up having the conversation with the boys.... and actually forgets about it entirely because SHIHO'S SAFE. Ann pretends she saw a post on Facebook about the events when she was "at home sick"--- when she appears at Shiho's house because she wants to check on her (and maybe cuddle a bit because tactile comfort is nice) She realizes she fucked up badly the next day when she goes into the Metaverse to check on the boys and sees Shiho awakening a Persona to help fight Belphegor (yes I remembered his name shush) But again like in universe A she concludes that it's alright, because of both her future knowledge and the fact that Shiho is showing more confidence in herself because of her awakened persona. Of course even without shipping-- I'd like to see this idea because Ann trying to make the future better without the rest of the Phantom Thieves to support her-- the angst just from that! The team was like her family and they all died in front of her-- and now they're all alive and well but don't even REMEMBER the things they've been through together... An idea I've been toying with also is that Ann actually reveals she has future knowledge in all 3 scenarios to the Phantom Thieves... in A and C she will pop up and let them know they're on the right track/doing it all wrong, and in B she literally tells them she's trying to keep to a script while dropping hints to what needs to happen... which could cause hilarity just from the conversations that could come out of this: "I think Alibaba will be a helpful ally! Y^o^Y" -Ann "Aka, Alibaba is the next member of our team... got it... -_-; " -Ryuji "You weren't supposed to know that yet >__>" -Ann "Then stop sounding so robotic when dropping hints 💧" -Ryuji Ann is terrible with the whole future knowledge thing XDD --- now for the really shippy stuff --- In each scenario the amount of TakaSuzu slightly increases. B<A<C. B there is little to none in relevance to the plot, tho some could be added.... basically this is the version that works best if someone wants to write another ship (I would totally read B with another ship too-- I'm Ann shipping trash--- if anyone decides to write one shoot me a link ;) ) A and C would be considered equal.... except for the fact that C has Ann princess carrying Shiho in the thief uniform and thus is more shipping aware? I'd guess.... A is also more suited for slow burn Shiho x Ann, while C is slightly less suited for it (not that it wouldn't work too lol) Scenes that would be cool for angst in A/C (come on this is me we're talking about, gotta have that drama/angst) {keep in mind, Panther refers to Ann in thief clothes when she's not known as Ann by the rest of the team} -Shiho asking Panther why she's always protecting her, only for Panther to confess to having fallen in love with Shiho in the future/past timeline. ---> on this point, Panther also tells Shiho that because of the future/past memories that she has they won't work out--- Panther has too many memories of them that Shiho will never have -Shiho confessing to Ann, but Ann turning her down-- not because she doesn't love Shiho, but because Shiho doesn't know she's Panther, and she doesn't want to lie to her about that. She tells Shiho that "You don't know the real me, not anymore" which causes ANGSTTTTT -if both previous scenes happen: Shiho goes into mementos alone to think after confessing to Ann (just the entrance since going in alone is dangerous) and runs into Panther--- who is heading in to let off her frustration and angst (because she made Shiho cry after all). They sit on the edge of the escalators and Shiho asks Panther how she can stand it, being in love with Shiho when it isn't returned (because yeah she's kinda attracted to Panther but she doesn't exactly get to talk to Panther every day or anything--- this is assuming Panther's confession is first) Panther's heart breaks a little because Shiho looks so dejected and SHE did that. Panther gets Shiho to talk a little more and tells her that she thinks Ann is actually in love with her, but maybe it's not the right time for them to be something more. Shiho then asks Panther what she would do if Shiho confessed to Panther right there in that moment. Panther laughs at this and tells Shiho she would SWIFTLY reject her and "WTF Shiho I'm basically a stranger to you! You don't' even know the real me!"--- Panther is laughing while saying this but it still echoes her harsh words from before without her realizing it~ Then the scenario would diverge again, between Shiho realizing that Panther is actually Ann... or Shiho recognizing the echo, but instead using it to conclude that Ann probably didn't mean it in a bad way--- and vows to spend more time with Ann (because Phantom Thief business and Ann "modeling" has kept them apart) to try to understand what part of Ann exists that she thinks Shiho can't see.... If Shiho realizes she's probably just like "Wtf how did I not see this earlier... also Wtf Ann you confessed to me in disguise but rejected me when I confessed to you why?" And then angst when Ann explains the future knowledge thing. If she doesn't she will learn with the rest of the Phantom Thieves later (probably before the final battle in the Velvet Room)... And by then Shiho understands that Panther has been through a lot, with having gone back in time only for her to not be able to be alongside her support system while trying to fix things... plus they're all unsure if Panther's solo efforts will even be enough to win/survive this time around... They share a moment where the two of them hug and give each other a good luck/good bye/ I'm sorry/ I love you kiss before they head off to the "unwinnable fight" There's like so many ways this could go and it's killing me~~!

[parentingguide8-blog]

2018’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!!

New Post has been published on https://parentinguideto.com/trending/2018s-funniest-parenting-tweets-of-the-year/

2018’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!!

All year long we’ve been rounding up our favorite tweets of the week from some of the funniest moms and dads on Twitter! As 2018 comes to an end, we hope you will enjoy our choices for the funniest parenting tweets of the year!! Thanks for reading and have an amazing 2019!!!

For more Twitter fun, don’t forget to join us over at @LifeofDadShow!

Sometimes my kids complain about something I tell them to do and I say “hey man, I don’t make the rules!” and then I walk away laughing under my breath because I DO make the rules.

— Brandon Andrina (@proathomedad) March 11, 2018

Sometimes as a parent there are those moments of pure joy & excitement, like when you arrive at a kids’ birthday party & the host says parents don’t have to stay.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) March 10, 2018

Me pretending that’s not my kid in public pic.twitter.com/iVgBEASlWk

— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) March 8, 2018

How to put on shoes like a 5-year-old:

1) Put on one shoe.

2) Ponder the mysteries of the universe.

3) What shoes?

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 9, 2018

Kids today will never know the struggle of having to go around the house and change every little clock. #DaylightSavings

— Matthew Kabel (@MattKabel) March 11, 2018

Me: Let’s watch the old Mario Bros show on Netflix from when I was a kid!

Daughter: Why is it blurry?

Me: All of the shows used to be blurry.

Daughter: Why is it square?

Me: TV’s used to be square.

Daughter: Why isn’t it funny or good?

Me: YOU MADE ME WATCH CAILLOU!!

— John Kinnear (@askdadblog) March 23, 2018

Me after seeing a group of 30 something year old guys gathered to play Pokemon GO: “What a bunch of nerds”

Also me after picking up my son from school today: “CAN YOU TEACH ME TO PLAY FORTNITE RIGHT NOW?!?!?!?

— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) March 19, 2018

My daughter thinks it’s hilarious when I accidentally get her math questions wrong but the joke’s on her because it’s not an accident and she’s on her own for homework for 10 more years.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) March 19, 2018

My style of parenting can best be described as ‘Max and Ruby’s parents.’

— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) March 24, 2018

My kid just fed me what she said was a raisin. It wasn’t a raisin.

Never, I repeat never, eat anything your kid feeds you without double checking.

— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) August 10, 2018

The first time I realized my kids are spoiled was when they started complaining about not being able to skip commercials at a hotel.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) August 6, 2018

My mom: wow it’s so nice of Jeff to watch your kids for the next few days while you’re gone

Me: yes, he is very excited to continue to be a father

— sleepy mom (@lauratnelson) August 10, 2018

Store clerk: May I help you?

Me: I hope so. Sweetie go get your math homework, this nice woman is going to help us.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 13, 2018

My toddler just looked me straight in the eyes and whispered “I’m NOT crazy.” Which sounds exactly like something a crazy person would do.

— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) March 19, 2018

Mom: [carries in womb for 10 months, breastfeeds another 12 months, quits job to stay at home and raise our daughter]

Me: [does the going downstairs behind the couch gag]

Daughter: Daddy’s my best friend!

— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) May 15, 2018

My 8yo can’t play video games today, but instead of doing something productive, he’s having his brother loudly narrate his game from the next room.

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) May 12, 2018

Other women: Nothing is sexier than a dad holding a baby.

Me: Nothing is sexier than my husband using his thundering dad-voice to frighten our children into behaving when I’ve abandoned all hope.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) May 10, 2018

Me “Go play outside.”

Kids “Ugh it’s too hot!!”

Me “Go!”

Kids “Will you play with us?!”

Me “Outside? No way! It’s way too hot.”

— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) May 8, 2018

2yo: “mommy I did it!”

Me: “that’s awesome, buddy I knew you could do it!”

(I have no idea what he did)

— Melissa (@Fiveoclockmommy) May 10, 2018

My kids made me Mother’s Day cards covered in glitter, which is like the opposite of saying I love you.

— Ashnog (@adult_mom) May 14, 2017

My 5yo son just slept-walked into the kitchen, pulled down his pants and peed all over the kitchen table. Glad to hear you are pregnant with your first though.

— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 4, 2018

My nephews thought my not giving them Easter baskets was an April Fool’s joke, but really it’s because they’re older now.

Aging, the ultimate prank.

— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) April 1, 2018

(both kids screaming from the living room) MONSTERS DON’T SPAWN IN THIS AREA! WHERE ARE YOU? I NEED A TORCH! IF I DIE BECAUSE OF YOU I’M GONNA – JUST DIG AND HIDE! WHERE IS YOUR BASE?

It’s too early for this

— Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) April 20, 2018

The kids have been away for a few days and I just found a pair of inside-out pants with underwear still stuck to them in my 5yo’s room and clutched it to my chest like an ex’s hoodie.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 7, 2018

My son asked what sides we were having with dinner like we haven’t had mac & cheese and microwaved green beans with every meal since he was born.

— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) July 17, 2018

https://twitter.com/ValeeGrrl/status/1018920271011557377 https://twitter.com/eff_yeah_steph/status/1017722655968059392

Me: (limits screen time)

[5 minutes later]

6: (gets a concussion) Me: That’s it! Everyone back on their tablets!

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 10, 2018

https://twitter.com/sarcasticmommy4/status/1015071841809981440

My daugjter just ruined Toy Story for ever. She said if one of the toys died Andy wouldnt know and he’d carry on playing with its corpse

— Baron Stigmund (@stiggib3) July 1, 2018

8: “Where’s Dad? I need some help” Me: “I can help you!” 8: “It’s about the TV” Me: 8: Me: “Dad’s upstairs.”

— Wendy S. (@maughammom) June 26, 2018

“Nope.”

~My two-year old, trying to justify he didn’t draw on the table with a red crayon while HOLDING A RED CRAYON.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 9, 2018

Life hack: If you tell the pizza delivery person “Thanks so much, you’re making our Pajama Day awesome!” when you and your toddler answer the door in pj’s, you transform from the mom who couldn’t get her shit together into the fun mom who hosts theme days.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) June 5, 2018

I didn’t realize 80% of song lyrics were inappropriate until I had to listen to them in the car with my kids.

— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) June 8, 2018

My son just said he’s going to call me “Squishy” to match my stomach and now I need to have another kid just so I can have a favorite

— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) June 3, 2018

Every single conversation I have with my kids pic.twitter.com/osbJEa8E7B

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) June 1, 2018

After my family finishes dinner. Me: “Anyone want ice cream?” My kids reaction. #LifeofDad pic.twitter.com/N0rZzLJkH7

— DadatWork (@ArtEddy3) August 23, 2018

Damn, looks like I brought the wrong 47 children’s books on our road trip.

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 22, 2018

My 5 year old son just asked “what if we put a slice of turkey in the DVD player and it played a movie about the turkey’s whole life” and none of the parenting books I’ve read have prepared me for this question.

— Octopus/Caveman (@OctopusCaveman) August 26, 2018

BEFORE HAVING KIDS: “I am NEVER making separate meals for my children”

4 YEARS LATER: “Let me repeat your order: tri-color pasta (al dente) with butter & cheese on a bed of string cheese on a fairy plate, cup of water with star-shaped ice cubes, yogurt two ways, Cheez-Its.”

— Bret Turner (@bretjturner) August 15, 2018

*starts my own YouTube channel so my kids will listen to me.

— The Baron (@baronvonbike) August 17, 2018

8yo: Dad, can I eat on the couch? Me: Sure, as long as you’re carefu- 8yo: I spilled my drink Me: Of course

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 31, 2018

Kid: Mom, the light’s on in my closet.

Me: That’s weird. The monster must be looking for something.

— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) September 19, 2018

In case you wondered what having a boy is like. My son just came down from having a shower and smelled no different than before he went in. I asked if he used soap and he responded “not this time” as if that’s even a thing.

— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) September 24, 2018

You’ll know parents by the way they are compelled to point out any and all cows to anyone who happens to be in the car with them.

— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) September 17, 2018

Kid: *3 and a half seconds after calling me the worst mom ever* Can you make me a snack?

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 14, 2018

Nothing like seeing a new dad at Disney World find out a Mickey shaped balloon with a glow stick in it is $35. Welcome to the club buddy.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 16, 2018

Sometimes I purposefully dress my toddler in mismatched pajamas just to make my wife’s head explode.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 8, 2018

7AM text from mom. Just a quick seven paragraphs.

— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 31, 2018

“How I wonder what you are?”

You literally JUST said it was a little star. Nursery rhymes are dumb.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) August 29, 2018

Save a ton of time by never unloading groceries again. Just throw the bags of food directly into a teenager’s open mouth.

— Betty (@BoomBoomBetty) October 22, 2018

I finally posted pics of my kids at a pumpkin patch, so I get to stay on Facebook for another year

— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) October 24, 2018

A kids version of the “Saw” movie but they can only escape by eating a sandwich with the crusts on.

— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) October 16, 2018

Ahh, I love the sound of my kids’ screen time in the morning.

— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) October 21, 2018

God: You’re in charge of naming all the animals.

Dr. Seuss: That’s a Zizzer Zazzer Zuz. That’s a Phiffer Pheffer Phef. That’s-

God: Nope nope nope. Let’s bring you back later. Adam, you’re up.

— The Dadvocate (@thedadvocate01) October 10, 2018

My kids know to wait until I’m sick to ask me to upgrade all their iPad games.

Why yes, I will pay $9.99 to unlock all the Strawberry Shortcake baking tools if it means a possible 10 minutes of silence.

— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) October 8, 2018

9: Where’s dad? I need his help.

Me: Anything your dad can do, I can do. What do you need?

9: When I flushed the toilet, it keeps rising.

Me: Go find your dad.

— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) September 29, 2018

One time I put the burnt side of a grilled cheese face down on my child’s plate and almost got away with it.

— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) September 24, 2018

https://twitter.com/thisiskacee/status/1065007774713577473

In hind sight “Up your butt and around the corner” was not the best phrase to add to 4’s vocabulary.

But my God, you should have seen Nana’s face when 4 told her where she could find her glasses.

Worth. It.

— Mom Jeans Please (@momjeansplease) November 20, 2018

CONFUSED SHOPPER DAD: should i buy the odorless candle or the apple-cinnamon candle?

OTHER SHOPPER DAD: apple-cinnamon. it makes more scents!

*tremendous high five attempt, but they whiff*

— TuSoon Shakur (@TuSoonShakur) November 12, 2018

Daughter: can you make me a sandwich?

Me: poof you’re a sandwich lol.

Daughter:

Me:

Daughter: MOM HE’S DOING THAT THING AGAIN.

— Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) November 7, 2018

8yo: Mom, will you put ketchup on my hotdog?

Me: You’re old enough to do it yourself.

8yo: pic.twitter.com/WfXA9pepJX

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 5, 2018

Me: *reads first four words of children’s book* 2-year-old: “Why?”

— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) November 1, 2018

We’re going to an amusement park tomorrow.

So today we’re busy threatening to not go to the amusement park tomorrow.

— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) November 3, 2018

There is no one more drunk with power than a 3 year old who can finally reach the water dispenser on the refrigerator. 6 cups in 5 minutes and counting…

— Mom Jeans Please (@momjeansplease) November 1, 2018

My husband was looking at his fantasy football scoreboard and my 9yo came up and started reading the team names and said “What’s Finger Bangers?” and I think we all aged a little in that moment.

— SpacedMom (@copymama) December 6, 2018

mom: call your grandmother, she sent you a birthday card with $10

me: ok

[later]

me: hey grandma

grandma: hello dear

me: i need more money, this isn’t 1842

— The Hype (@TheHyyyype) December 4, 2018

Welcome to parenthood, you need to flush the toilet before you use it too.

— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) November 29, 2018

SANTA: what would you like for Christmas? *child hands Santa a note*

“Please look after Melissa. I need a couple of hours to shop and maybe get a coffee. Also, she’s lactose intolerant.”

SANTA, to elf: put her with the others

— Bison (@McGrumpenstein) December 8, 2018

Special shout out to the kid at my son’s elementary school concert who threw his arms into a cross and yelled “Wakanda Forever!” at the end of his performance.

— Heather M. Jones (@hmjoneswriter) December 14, 2018

Last Friday, my daughter’s teacher mentioned to me how nice it is to see how well my kids get along & love each while at school. Now if you’ll excuse me, my daughter just punched my son in the groin for using the pencil crayon she wasn’t even using…

— Chris Read (@CanadianDadBlog) December 17, 2018

There’s always the ‘Funniest parenting tweets of the week’ but never the ‘Funniest guy living alone in basement apartment tweets of the week’, heck this.

— Matt (@Stap_Jr) September 11, 2018

The post 2018’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!! appeared first on Life of Dad.

Source

2018’s Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Year!!

[blessuswithblogs]

Thoughts on The Surge: in the future, nobody has guns

~there are, by necessity, spoilers on The Surge in this post and also a lot of rambling holy cow~

Yesterday, I finished the Surge. It was not something I was particularly expecting to do at that juncture. I was getting very close to beating a boss, but I had about 5 minutes to go before I had to go raid in FF14. I figured that if I beat the thing, I would just save and quit and come back to it and that would be that. Imagine my surprise when it turned out this fairly nondescript monster was actually The Final Boss of the game and immediately after beating it, I beat the game and the credits rolled. I was a bit nonplussed by this, both because the game only had 5 bosses in it and because I had to hurriedly explain to my raid group that I was going to be a few minutes late because I Accidentally Finished A Game, Oops. After some reflection, it occurred to me that this experience was quite emblematic of the whole game: a strong start with good ideas that never really go anywhere and sort of implode on themselves at random intervals without warning.

Let's start with brass tacks. The Surge is Souls-like. Not one of those games that games journalists think are souls-likes because they're fucking awful at video games and they died a bunch, but an actual honest to god "our mission is to make dark souls with robots." product. The systems, mechanics, and level design philosophy are extremely similar to FromSOFT's critically acclaimed action RPGs. The Surge is from the same developers as Lords of the Fallen, which was a putrid mess. Their sophmore effort is much, much better. I quit Lords a few hours in while I'm considering a second playthrough of The Surge. One of the big problems with Lords was that it was seemingly designed from the perspective of someone who played Dark Souls 1 exclusively clad in Havel's armor and the Dragon Tooth and thought that playstyle wasn't quite deliberate enough. The Surge, conversely, is much faster and more responsive, about on par with Dark Souls 3. It also gains a lot from its unique aesthetic sensibilities, at least at first, but more on that later.

The big mechanical selling point of The Surge which differentiates it from other games of its type is the practice of targeting specific limbs and body parts. It's not at all the first Dead Space parallel one might notice, and certainly not the last. At first, it's quite novel, but The Surge never quite leans into it enough to make it very deep or rewarding. Invariably, the strategy is "attack the unarmored parts, idiot." If everything is armored, it's "attack the head, idiot." The only real exceptions to this rule are when you are engaged in the tedious process of farming gear or when the game forgets its major draw and simply throws enemies at you that don't have any limbs to target. Initially, the process of getting new gear is kind of exciting, as to acquire new weapons and armor, you have to target the body part of an enemy wearing it and successfully do a finishing move to cut it off and receive a schematic you can bring to Operations (the bonfire equivalent) and build. This sounds like a reliable and engaging way to improve your character, but there are some issues with it. To build a new piece of armor, you need to use specifically Mark 1 upgrade materials. Which is fine, at first, but as you progress through the game, enemies will stop dropping this teir of materials. They will not stop dropping new schematics, however. After a certain point, to create new pieces of gear, you need to backtrack to an earlier area just to get the proper parts, and then a different, slightly later area, to get parts to upgrade them. It's real bad. Bad enough that I'm doubting my own experience with the game. Surely, there was some way to buy older parts or exchange them that I missed? Please somebody tell me I'm wrong I hate living this world where there are no alternatives.

REVISION: I did miss something!! You can actually just skip upgrade tiers entirely by using higher grade parts, though it costs more scrap. I feel silly for not catching it myself, but it seems that a lot of people didn’t. Either way, this significantly alleviates some of my major issues with the upgrade system! Praise IRONMAUS!

At any rate, the intent is to create a tension between going for easy kills by targeting unarmored body parts and going after armored parts for more difficult fights with better rewards. It's a good idea, theoretically, but the execution of the idea makes it tedious and grindy. The Surge is extremely crotchety about experimenting with new things, both because of aforementioned weird upgrade material scarcity issues and because the game's difficulty curve is a stickler for wearing gear that is up to date, unless you like getting killed in one hit. I, personally, do not. I find it to be quite frustrating. In my theoretical second playthrough I'm going to just stick to one set and not bother with branching out. There aren't very many armor sets to begin with, so it sort of balances out. You tend to have more freedom with weapons because they use a universal upgrade material all enemies carry, though I personally found most weapon types to be way too slow and awkward for my liking and stuck with the Vibrocutter for 90% of the game. That seems altogether too subjective to really count against the game, and is also the focus of my next playthrough: trying to learn weapons I passed up on in my first.

Character progression is done via upgrading your Core Power level with tech scrap that everybody drops on death. Core Power determines the quality and quantity of gear pieces and implants you can have active at any one time. Core Power also gates progress behind overload nodes that require a certain power level to activate, one of the more random and haphazard mechanics in the game. It's usually not an issue, though you will occasionally run into nodes with requirements so high they might as well read "backtrack here later asshole." Progression itself is kind of muddled by the way implants work, which is somewhat too broadly. Implants can provide minor bonuses, but they can also dictate your entire suite of healing options, maximum HP, and your ability to see enemy healthbars (which is quite important when you need to keep them alive long enough to cut off their limbs, because it would be rude to do that while they're dead. You find implants all over the place in various grades. I assume that the idea is to gradually upgrade your older ones as you go along, but I always felt a bit lost about where exactly the Surge wanted me to be at in regards to my implant setup. I would count this against the game less if I didn't consistently run into points where I would find a new enemy that just killed me in one hit from across the room and feel very sad about life.

This brings me to what is one of the game's biggest design problems: enemy variety, or lack thereof. The designs of the enemies are more than a little uninspired. For a good 80% of the game your only foes are Zombie Men in Robot Suits, Small Drones, and maintenance/security robots. There's enough room for variation in the zombie men that it's tolerable, but the god damned leaping security robots show up everywhere, are never any different, and are incredibly obnoxious to fight. High defense, hypertracking, and the ability to leap across the room from any angle and deal what is consistently 80% of your healthbar in damage is nightmarish, and certain areas of the game are just CRAWLING with these fuckers. You can cut off their tails to get some implants you can sell for scrap. That's something. But god I hate these things. The crystalline nanofriends at the end of the game have many of the same problems with unreasonably high damage and absurd tracking, but I found them much easier to deal with because of how easy it was to bait out their railgun attack.

The bosses in this game are a mixed bag, which is usually okay, but there's only 5 of them. I try not to harsh on games for not having enough content for value, so believe me when I say that my criticism here is based on the fact that bosses are desperately needed to cut up some of the monotony of samey enemies. The first two bosses are big robots, as they should be. The camera is a little shitty in spots but they're big and tough and impressive looking. You can also fulfill special criteria to get Super Strong versions of the weapons they drop during the fight, but there's no way to actually know what those criteria are and some of them are eso-fucking-teric. The first boss, the P.A.X., has a mechanic where you can lead its own missiles into it to stun it and make it vulnerable and the game telegraphs it fairly obviously. To get its special drop, you have to not do this. Conversely, the second boss, the Firebug waste disposal robot, has a special weapon you can get by specifically doing the mechanic that is presented to you and cutting off all its limbs. Then the next boss, the Big SISTER construction platform, needs you to not kill any limbs at all. It's extremely inconsistent. These first 3 bosses range from good to serviceable, and are pretty good spectacles. The last two, however, are ffffucking dire.

The 4th boss of the game, the Black Cerberus, is a fight against a human opponent with military grade equipment. It's pretty fun to start out with, requiring different strategies from the huge robots previously fought. Things go south extremely quickly when the boss, after taking some damage, becomes invincible, runs away, locks himself in a room, heals himself, and summons a P.A.X. for you to fight. There are only 5 bosses in this game and they still found a way to recycle them. So you kill the P.A.X. and the actual boss comes back powered up. Fine. Alright. However, you have to do this cycle 3 times. 3. fucking. times. It's actually inexcusable that this is a thing in a game made in 2017 and I get mad just thinking about it. It makes the Bed of Chaos look like a reasonable fight because it at least had the decency to save your progress. You can get a beefed up version of his energy axe thing by cutting off his right arm but who even fucking cares. The final boss is a sort of neat looking monster made of nanomachines but I think it's borderline plagiarizing a bit of fanart I saw once for a Cyber-souls game. It's kind of whatever honestly. You have to kill the parts that glow white until the whole thing glows red, then you have to... hit a button? It's weird and random but I figured it out quickly enough that I'm not going to say that it's bad or unintuitive. Then it turns into a humanoid swordfighter guy with no armored parts at all and you just stab him in the head until he's fucking dead. It's a joke of a fight. You can get some Super Good Claws if you cut off his right arm but at that point I just wanted the boss to be dead so I went for the cranium. All throughout the boss spouts off voicelines from other characters in the game because of some bullshit about nanomachine networks that's extremely underdeveloped and tacked on. It's a fine boss fight, but the fact that it's the final confrontation and the last bit of gameplay in the whole game makes it such a wet fart of a thing I still feel kind of depressed about it.

So now we come to my biggest complaint about the game. The gameplay is mostly good with some tedious parts and some fucking awful parts. The story and setting, however, are just. How do I even put this? Imagine if System Shock, Dead Space, and SOMA got mashed into one thing by a thirteen year old. Let's start with the good, because there is good in here, and it kept me going for a long time even if I was ultimately disappointed. The game starts out with an extremely Corporate Culture advertisement for a job at CREO, which is probably an acronym for something, but hell if I can remember it. What is immediately striking is how true to life that ad is, stuff about cybernetic enhancement aside. CREO ends up as this sort of idea of "what if Apple dealt in sick robot arms and rockets instead of phones", which I feel like is a concept that is going to become more and more popular to explore in the near future. At any rate, the protagonist, Warren, accepts the job offer and goes off to his first day of work at CREO HQ. The first thing we learn about Warren, aside from looking like an average mainstream western video game protagonist, is that he has to get around in a wheelchair. The reveal of this is one of the very few character moments we really get in this game, and it immediately gives us some insight into why Warren was so eager to go work for a company that turns you into a fucked up robot man. Being a fucked up robot man is probably a pretty sweet deal if you get to Ambulate With Your Legs again. So Warren wheels his way into the lobby to check in and get kitted out with his Rig, an extremely Dead Space name for a sort of power loader exoskeleton wot lets you do the cool robot things as happy corporate music plays as a hip young guy on the monitor extolls the virtues of working at CREO, the revolutionary company out to save the world. Then he gets into the Robot Chair and has extremely invasive surgery done on him without anaesthetic because I guess the opening was just too down to earth and needed some fuckin gore.

I personally feel like the surgery scene is ultimately unnecessary and tacky, serving no real purpose in the narrative except to hint to more trusting players that "maybe CREO bad???". That notwithstanding, the opening is very strong because it establishes a very intriguing world. The Surge is set in the 2060s, or thereabouts, making it near-future firm-ish scifi, and the world of 2060 and beyond kind of fucking sucks. Not because of any great cataclysm or alien invasion, but because late capitalism is a hellish, undying force of destruction on a planetary scale and Earth is rapidly approaching a point where it can no longer support human life due to pollution and over-exploitation. That's about as hard sci-fi as it gets. There's mentions of failed nations, wars, riots, famine, and all of the lovelies we can expect in the next half a century. CREO's mission statement is to use revolutionary new technology to save the world and undo the damage with Project Resolve. Project Resolve is a sort of nebulous terraforming initiative involving CREO shooting rockets into the upper atmosphere that release chemical agents that will gradually repair Earth's atmosphere. The science becomes much squishier here but that's honestly fine with me because it sets up the core tension of the game: how can the same institution that destroyed the planet for centuries turn around and save it? Turns out it can't.

After Warren awakens in the junkheap, about to be disposed of for being "defective", he goes on a fantastical journey through CREO HQ to accomplish basically nothing. Everything in the facility has gone completely off the rails, with the majority of employees hooked up to rigs having completely lost their minds due to some sort of technical malfunction in the neural network. Warren is presumably unaffected by this because he wasn't linked up to the system yet when it happened, and so can adventure around and kill lots of deranged construction workers. You learn more about CREO from audio logs (it's a gritty sci-fi game with pretensions of being scary so naturally everyone in the world compulsively records their thoughts on things on oversized PDA things), environmental storytelling (blood on the walls, skulls in the toilet), and more promotional company videos about how great CREO is. The latter is the most organic and believable mechanism of exposition, and provides a strong sense of juxtaposition between Corporate Image and Reality. It's at times a little on the nose, but, well, art imitates life.  The real problems with the narrative occur after you meet Dr. Chavez, a disgruntled former head of R&D at CREO who worked a greatl deal on Project Resolve. It comes out that there's a problem with Resolve that basically makes it poison to living things. Chavez believes she can fix it, but is unceremoniously fired and replaced by another scientist more willing to compromise. This is fine, and is a great illustrative moment of how even something as noble as saving the world becomes harmful when performed by a beuaracratic, for profit institution. The problem comes from what Dr. Barret, Chavez's replacement, cooks up. Instead of just holding steady on the flawed Project Resolve, Barret decides that's not villainous enough and creates Project Utopia, an alternative to resolve that will absolutely repair the Earth with the small side effect of killing 97% of the current human population.

It's at this point that things start straining that suspension of disbelief, both because of the general unbelievability of something that can wipe out the vast majority of humanity by itself, in a short enough time period that no other organizations would be able to counteract it, and simultaneously restore the environment and because it's hard to believe that a profit-oriented organization like CREO would willingly kill off 97% of their consumer base. The mechanism by which Utopia works isn't revealed until the end of the game, and it's a bit of an eyeroller: nanomachines. The game's sudden, weirdly low-key shift from all-too-believable corporate negligence to literal grey goo end of the world shit is jarring and makes a lot of what came before weaker. Warren is no longer just a Guy With a Robot Suit trying to make it, he's the world's last, best hope to not die horribly. This raising of the stakes was honestly quite unnecessary. Simply finding the cause of the CREO-wide malfunction and reversing it was a worthy enough goal, but I guess it just wasn't enough. Also Dr. Barret is a literal mad scientist making human-machine hybrids and waxing philosophical about the necessary evolution of mankind while all this is going on so there's like 4 unresolved plot points sent careening on a collision course with eachother with not a lot of game left to wrap it up, and also like 2 of these plot points are stupid.

The final area of the game, the launch facility for project utopia, is infested with nanite monstrosities that look kind of cool at least. Up until now your primary foes have actually been company security personnel, hilariously enough, who are largely unaffected by the big neuronet hiccup from earlier. I had no problem with this, honestly, because beating up rent-a-cops sounds like a good time to me. Where it gets weird is that the rent-a-cops are seemingly 100% on board with global genocide of everybody ever. ACAB, and all that, but maybe not to that degree. So you get this weird scenario where you can find security guards harmoniously cooexisting with nanite gestalts of an emerging consciousness spreading and repurposing the launch facility. The guard posted at the entrance to the launch site even gives you a verbal warning to back off like there's nothing going on, something that no other security guard has given you since the beginning of the game. It's super bizarre. There is a subplot of an NPC who gradually loses their identity and memories and joins the guard, so there is evidence for some weird neural implant fuckery. I think I might be missing some information, since I didn't get all of the audio logs and shit.

Basically the climax of the game is that you go to the Nucleus launch facility to try and stop Utopia from getting into the atmosphere, or at least slow it down. You get a virus from Dr. Chavez you can upload into the payload to weaken the nanites. You would think that would be the Main Goal of the Game, but it's actually a totally missable side thing you can do if you feel like it. The actual end point of the game is getting to the rocket launch platform and fighting the Rogue Process, who appears to be guarding the rocket. The rocket launches anyway no matter what you do so the whole situation seems forced. The trigger for the fight is overloading a node by the launch panel. Prior to that the Rogue Process just sort of hangs out in noncorporeal form babbling nonsense at you. If you put the virus in the payload, then what are you even doing here? Just let it do its work and don't fuck around with nanites and rocket engines more than you have to. If you decided that you're okay with 97% of the population dying, then what are you even doing here? Just hang out or try to escape. You fight the Rogue Process because the game needs a final boss, and for no other reason. The damn thing doesn't even die if the ending is to be believed. This whole part of the game left me feeling extremely perplexed, like there was a big chunk of the story just missing. Like a conclusion. Or hell, even a climax.

My working theory of it all is that the Rogue Process developed sentience at some point before Warren arrived and started working on getting Utopia into the atmosphere to spread itself, heedless of human casualties because there's no possible way an AI developed at CREO could have any ethical considerations. It needed the board of directors to vote in favor of the launch, and engineered this impossibly convoluted chain of events to kill one of the no-go voters by Doctor Octopusing him to his chair in the board room. Or something. It might have been one of the board members who became unhinged? I'm really genuinely unsure of what actually happened except that Warren basically didn't do anything the whole game. You've got this very system shock style of progression where voices on the other ends of speakers yank you around to do stupid bullshit and you just sort of End Up where you end up. It's not really so much uncovering a mystery as desperately searching for a supervisor to give you some form of employee orientation, which, to the game's credit, is appropriate. I have no problem with vagueness in video games, being a noted devotee of Dark Souls style storytelling. It just feels extremely random and haphazard in The Surge, like part of the game is told one way where Atlas is asking if you would kindly fix the valves on the bathysphere and another part is digging for Lore on the Ancient Board of Directors Who Passed Long Ago to figure out what any of this even means. Except the Lore is audio logs. Some people don't like Lore. -I- don't like audio logs.

In the end, the whole thing starts strong and doesn't, or can't fulfill its promises. I'll say one thing now: the overall package would have been better and more coherent if they had just leaned in on the nanomachines. One of the things that super bugged me about The Surge was the death and recovery mechanic. The currency in this game is tech scrap. Little bits of metal. That's lying around everywhere. It is not precious or special in any way. There is no diegetic reason for why you drop it on death, and why Warren can come back from being bisected. It's there purely for gameplay purposes, To Be Like Dark Souls. And that just drives me up a wall. Demon's Souls and Dark Souls built their entire worlds upon the cycle of Try, Die, Repeat, Succeed. It's engraved upon the very DNA of those games, from top to bottom, mechanically to thematically. The Surge just does it because it feels like its supposed to, and that is a rotten reason to do anything. The timer mechanic, which was present in Lords of the Fallen, which had similar issues with nebulous "Experience Points" being lost on death, adds insult to injury because it's ridiculously Video Game-y. There's no reason why an inert pile of scrap would disappear after two minutes or why killing some random drone halfway across the map would extend the timer. The reason I mention this with the nanomachines is because nanomachines provide an elegant solution to the dilemma. If you're so damned determined to be like Souls, then just use nanites as the diegetic justification for death recovery. Nanites can reconstruct your body after lethal trauma, but it means that the excess nanites you were carrying are discharged or used up to do so. Something like that. Expand on the nanomachine constructs from the end of the game, and the neat adaptive nanite armor some of the endgame enemies wear. I personally prefer the initial approach the game takes with less apocalyptic do-anything technology, but I would totally respect the decision to go whole Metal Gear hog on nanotech to explore some of that Try Die Repeat Succeed theming.

Also did you know that they even managed to stick in some poison swamps? Please. Please no more. Stop. I guess that brings us to environments? They're kind of bad in The Surge. It's all just industrial zones with occasional but extremely appreciated detours to greenhouses (poison swamp greenhouses!!!!), a show floor, and swanky executive offices. I think what really wore on me was the maintenance tunnels all looking identical. So many dark yellow cabley tunnels. Why didn't we ever go to space? The entire game takes place in a rocket production facility. I feel like there's a whole other act that takes place on a satellite or the fucking moon or something that got cut. Let me go to space you cowards. The NPCs are all extremely forgettable, too. They're all bland character archetypes with no agency and they all die. Not that I really cared. But god even in Bloodborne a couple of characters made it through the night! Even if it was only like Suspicious Yharnam Man and the Chapel Dweller. But the Chapel Dweller was a good person, at least. I guess if you don't give The Crazy Widow tech scrap to make a weapon Hobbs will survive. Maybe the doctor also lives? His robot-daughter doesn't, which is a shame, because she was like the one character I did enjoy. The whole game is very soulless, despite best efforts, another problem shared with Lords of the Fallen who in my 4 or so hours playing did not have a single character I did not wish violent death upon. It's a step up that only a couple of The Surge characters fit that criteria. I guess.

In conclusion, I still don't really know how I feel about the Surge. It's.... worth playing? Like I would enthusiastically recommend Bloodborne or Dark Souls 1 and 2 to anybody who likes video games, but I think the only people who would enjoy the Surge are those who specifically enjoy Souls-like games. I think most players would find The Surge needlessly awkward and difficult without much payoff in other areas. You can cut off heads real good, I guess, but if you're really hankering for satisfying dismemberment for some reason, you'll get a lot more mileage out of 2016 DooM. The Surge wants to be too many things at once and seriously Warren just feels so much like off-brand Isaac Clarke after the opening when his one defining characteristic is no longer salient. They're both engineering types, have Rigs, and their arsenals are comprised entirely of power tools being used in the most unsafe ways conceivable by the human mind. That's not really a criticism. More of an observation. I don't know. God I wrote lots of words about this. I hate video games.