#ABA clinics leave me the fuck alone and get out of my DMs challenge

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Types of Jobs on Indeed

Hiring positive, upbeat individuals with a strong work ethic. No experience necessary! Must be able to work weekends, evenings, and sell your soul to the Devil on our behalf. You’ll have lots of fun loading sixteen tons every day. Plus, you’ll get 10.50–13.90 per hour WITH A GENEROUS 30% OFF EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT

The ideal candidate for this entry-level position has a bachelor’s degree in IT (REQUIRED) and five years of experience in consumer marketing (REQUIRED). If you don’t meet the criteria, you can hop off a cliff and explode, you plebeian, you uncultured swine. It pays 12 dollars an hour, which is no better than the previous job which requires no experience or student loans to work. Because fuck you, that’s why.

18 DOLLARS AN HOUR HOT ABA CLINICS IN YOUR AREA | Have you ever wished you could work with children with autism with a caring team of professionals? Well now you can! Get hired right off the street at our brand-spanking-new ABA clinic! We’ll train you to help children with autism to follow all directions given them, without question, which is a completely normal goal to have. And no, you don’t need a bachelor’s degree, or any experience at all. This is a very good idea! You should do it because we’ll give you insurance and a 401K. Because we’re such positive people and one of the only places that’ll give uneducated people like you a living wage. Your morals or your financial security, which will it be?

Weekends-only physical therapist, 5,000 dollar sign-on! 50–60 dollars an hour! Full benefits! You’re not even remotely looking for this kind of job but we’re showing up in your search results anyway because we want to rub in how much college-educated people make compared to your lazy self. Have a lovely day! 🥰

[Job that sounds absolutely perfect for you but is located in another state]

looking for someone to edit TikTok videos remotely lol