#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EXCUSE U

[hellstung]

Dev Edits 7 / ???

[jyrs-kuur]

@bitsynoya​ bitsynoya replied to your post:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA someone help me (...

i am here for u. i will distract. also don’t feel guilty, u went into this with different information than she gave u in the beginning and tbh it should be ok to her for u to excuse urself for a while and be away from her. like maybe u can use studying as excuse?

uhh, but it's like, we haven't talked in like an hour, and i feel like... i can sense her presence all the time?? it’s distracting even tho she’s reading. but she makes me anxious also bc compliments make me uncomfortable, and it’s like.. i feel superior to her (bc i’m a multi-talented artist so, apparently everything i can do is awesome), and feeling better than others like that makes me feel so guilty, like, i know i’m better, but i don’t want to make a show out of it (i kinda did, tho, i feel like shouldn’t have played my viola after all...it was a mistake.. but i wanted to like, act like i would if she wasn’t here, ya know??) 

and i did use studying as an excuse, and i made her cook for me (bc she was fine with doing the dishes too), and all that makes me feel guilty, and i’m dissociating bc i feel pretty bad. having to spend this much time in, the. same. room. with a person i hardly know,. i thought it was a good idea, but apparently i’m not fine with this like i thought i would. maybe bc i’m so used to being alone all the time, and this is my Sacred Being Alone Place, and uhhh, idk, why did this have to turn out to be like this??