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bxllafanficc · 4 years

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My dear apprentice - Anakin!Skywalker x fem!reader: Chapter 1.

(Anakin's pov)

"You're fading off again, pull yourself together!".

Ah.

Just another day in the life of the jedi order. And it's as boring as ever. The same rhythm and schedule every sunrise. Nothing's new and exciting anymore, though I never expected it to be. It's war times and everyone's affected in their own ways.

"I wasn't! I was only resting my eyes from the piercing sun for awhile." I outed in a more defensive manner than I intended.

"It looked awfully much like you were drifting off for the third time only this hour, Anakin."

The tense look my former master gave me caused a quiet sigh to escape my lips. He's disappointed.

Lately it seems that I have fallen head first into a slump that I have no idea how to get out of. Uwanted attention is the result of several failed missions one after another caused by none other than me.

The council is starting to see a pattern in my downfalls and it's showing.

I haven't been sleeping much, maybe that's why. Though there's not much I can do about it. Every night, nightmares creep into my dreams and wake me up in the middle if the night covered in sweat or just pure anger.

This results in me waking up exceedingly early and already in a bad mood every day.

"I'm sorry, Obi-wan. I guess it's just not my day today."

A chuckle from the man I hold close as a friend.

"You've been saying that for soon to be a month now. I think it's safe to say that this isn't your YEAR! Not anyone's year, for that matter."

He's right.

Recently I've only caused more trouble than I've solved. Even the most simple tasks seem to be enough for me to fall asleep mid battle.

No, not really.

But close to. I have been fainting a lot due to lack of sleep and at this point I would probably be dead if it wasn't for Obi-wan being there to back me up. I often stay irritated and on the edge for days, spend as much time as possible alone in my dorm and exercise until I eventually fall asleep of exhaustion. It works most of the time but only for a few hours or so.

My lifestyle and the choices I'm making is an utter failure. Cause even though someone's almost always there to save my back in times like these, I still fail, and for what, some night terrors?

"What's to discuss at the council meeting today? Anything new?" I ask.

I do probably already know the answer to that. But I'll ask anyway, since we're already heading to the High council chamber, the room where all the wise jedi masters go through important matters happening in the galaxy.

My gaze wanders over the all so familiar temple halls, ancient history patterns draping on the marooned colored fabric covering the once naked stone walls.

Right ahead of us are the stairs leading up to the chamber.

A small knot of distress froms in my abdomen as I let my feet carry me. Only bad memories from this room.

I'm a part of the council too, which is the reason I'm heading there with Obi-wan. But the thing is... I'm not a master. I wasn't granted the rank at the end of my training as a padawan, which is a natural part of the process of becoming a jedi knight.

It has bugged me ever since. Something holds me apart from everyone else. Because even though I'm a council member, I don't feel equal to the remaining 11 knights.

Even at the very beginning of my journey, the council were much reluctant at even training me in the first place.

"Actually there is. This matter is about you, for a fact. But I was told not to let you know about it until we reach the chamber." Obi-wan replies in a subtle but slightly odd voice.

What?

What couldn't he tell me?

I raise an eyebrow and lock eyes with my friend who now had gained a spark of something I cannot tell; in his eyes. The knot in my stomach thickens.

"Is that so? I don't like the sound by that. Should I be worried. Or more importantly, should I turn my heel already and flee the scene?"

No answer.

I cross my arms, slowing down my pace until it forces Obi-wan to stop walking and eventually confirm or deny my worries. At first he seem impatient to get to the chamber with me already. Then finally he gives up a sigh and flashes me a genuine bright smile that would leave anyone confused in a situation like this.

"You might not like it at first, but I'm positive that you'll come around and turn out to enjoy it in the end!" He pats me on the shoulder and continues up the stairs.

Now what the ***** is that supposed to mean?

As I pick up my pace once again, a ton of questions build up inside and I swallow down a lump of doubt as I take the last steps up the stairs and into the evocative High council chamber.

Inside is everyone seated as usual and the open view of the nature outside is gloomy and grey due to the rainy weather that has been going on for the entire week.

The first eyes to meet mine are of course master Yoda and master Windu. A silent welcoming nod from them and I advert me gaze to look around the room once again.

But today it's not as usual. Because there's another person in the room. Someone whom I've never met in my life before; standing in the back of the chamber leaned against the rounded pale wall. A girl, seemingly around my age or younger. Her posture is upright and the look on her face is blank and absent.

Then suddenly her expression turns curious and tense as her piercing (e/c) eyes look back at me. She's judging me, looking me up and down, observing and searching.

I only confirm my staring for a few seconds, then look back at the seats in front of me and nod back at the two masters.

Confused and with a dumbfounded look on my face I move to go take my seat in one of the chairs postioned in a rounding shape due to the dome.

"Welcome, Young Skywalker. Been awaiting you we have!" Yoda exclaims with a sheerful voice as Mace Windu straightens his once laid back posture into a forward and serious look. By the judge of his look, he'll be the next one to talk.

"Don't take your seat just yet, Anakin. As the first matter to bring up on todays agenda involves you specifically, we would like you to stand up just a little longer."

I stop walking and position myself in the center of the chamber as expected from the other council members, the burning eyes of the unknown woman distracting my concentration.

"What is it that you want to discuss?" I ask with hesitation spread all over my face.

The slight crinkle between Mace Windu's eyebrow tells that he seems to struggle with his choice of words for the next coming sentences.

"Well... As a matter of fact it's not really that much to discuss. We have an announcement regarding your work efforts the past month."

My abdomen twist in aversion and reluctantly weigh over my body weight onto one single foot. I can feel my posture sinking the more nervous I get. Of course I knew that I would have to talk about my recent failures with them eventually, but as you do, I just hoped that they would forget and move on.

"Lately we've experienced a... reckless side of yours during your battles or simply by the way you act depending on the day. And judging by the distressed aura you've had for several weeks and the significant tiredness you've been experiencing, we have decided to put you on hold for awhile to attend to other, less energy craving jedi matters."

"Wait, what other jedi matters if not doing the tasks I've been sent out on? I don't need to rest, I just need to gain back my focus somehow!" I insist but it seems to have little to no effect on the man's decision.

"Anakin Skywalker, in concern for your health and with intention to help you grow as a knight and as a person, we've assigned you a different type of task. A task that we are positive will leave a big and encouraging mark in your growth as a Jedi."

I don't like the sound of this.

I think I already know what they mean. The girl and the strange looks I've been receiving... Can only mean-

"Assigned you a padawan, we have! Meet your apprentice, (y/n)!" Yoda utters and points his staff at the girl in the back of the room as a last confirming sign.

...

What.

They assigned me a what?!

//thank you so so much for reading mt first fanfic ever!🥺😭❤️ It means a lot to me! This story is originally on Wattpad and will soon be on Ao3 as well; both going by the same name as above! If you want to check out that as well, I would be so happy! (p.s. The cover of the story on wattpad is only a placeholder until I draw my own cover, but it takes talent to do that so it will take a whileT-T)//

#star wars anakin #anakin imagine #poor anakin #oh anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #star wars fanfiction #star wars x reader #star wars x y/n #star wars x you #star wars x barbie #star wars #prequel trilogy #clone wars #star wars fandom #anakin skywalker imagine #star wars imagine

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inkognito97 · 7 years

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Forget-me-not

Obi-Wan woke to rays of sunshine tickling his nose and to the song of countless birds singing in a nearby tree. There was also a light wisp of wind that touched his skin and he wrinkled his nose at the fresh and relatively cold air. Then, he furrowed his brows and thought. He never let the window open, not when he was sleeping.

Finally, Obi-Wan opened his eyes, he had to blink against the brightness in the room which he did not recognize. Still with furrowed brows, he pushed himself into a sitting position, the blanket falling from his chest onto his lap. Shuffling to his right alerted Obi-Wan to the fact that he was not alone and in alarm, did he look who was there in his bed. He frowned, but this wasn’t his bed, was it? This was not even his room and as he looked out of the window, the curtains were not even drawn shut, he could see that he had absolutely no idea where he was. The ginger haired man turned back to look at the sleeping stranger. The man was a few years older than him. He had strong features with a nose that was slightly crooked, as if it had been broken at one point and had not properly healed. He spotted long chestnut brown hair that was tied to a bun at the back of the man’s head, a few strands had escaped though and were now falling into the stranger’s face. He had also a beard and mustache. All in all, he was a beauty beyond compare and he was totally Obi-Wan’s type.

Still, the question remained, what was he doing in that stranger’s bed and who WAS the stranger in the first place? Perhaps, he and his friends had partied deep into the night, and he had picked up someone for a one-night stand, then again, it probably had been the other way around.

Obi-Wan nodded, that must be it. He and the man had met at a party, which he could not remember at all and then he had gone with the man to his home for one night full of sex and passion. It sounded logic and like a really good explanation. There was just one thing that did not fit into the picture, he was still fully dressed. Granted, his feet were bare, but he was wearing a shirt and comfortable trousers and he could see that the pretty stranger at least also wore a shirt. Had he chickened out? It certainly would not be the first time that he hadn’t taken that last step. But usually he left then, calling himself a cab and driving home highly embarrassed. It didn’t seem to be the case here, so what was different?

The pretty stranger chose this moment to mumble something incoherent. He groaned and a pair of the deepest midnight blue eyes Obi-Wan had ever seen, opened slowly. At first, the man seemed disorientated and sleepy, but then, his eyes fixed on Obi-Wan.

“Good morning,” the deep voice was a little rough from sleep still.

“Good morning,” Obi-Wan repeated automatically.

“I hope you slept well…” the brown haired male let the sentence trail off.

“I… I guess,” what else could he say, especially since the older male seemed to remember him, while he himself had still not the slightest idea.

“Good,” commented the stranger and he finally pushed himself into a sitting position. Obi-Wan immediately noticed that he was taller and very well-build and when the man began to stretch, Obi-Wan was granted the sight of a muscled abdomen.

“God, you are beautiful,” the words came out, before he could stop himself. In horror, Obi-Wan froze, his eyes wide, as they regarded the other male in the bed.

The stranger in turn blinked surprised and stopped mid-stretch. Then, a huge smile appeared on his features and he turned to look at Obi-Wan. “Thank you.”

Something in the ginger haired man’s chest clenched painfully at the look of utter and pure love in the man’s face. What had he done to deserve such a look? It couldn’t be his skills in bed, after all, it did not seem as if the man had experienced anything in that direction.

“What is it?” the pretty stranger had caught his changed mood. Also, the man seemed to know him, which gave him another advantage.

Obi-Wan felt bad for having to ask. “I’m sorry,” he averted the other’s gaze, “but… who are you?”

He did not immediately receive an answer and in worry, he DID look up again. Infinite sadness had entered the midnight blue eyes of his companion. He wondered why. “My name is Qui-Gon Jinn,” he hesitated, “I am your husband.”

Now it was Obi-Wan’s turn to blink in surprise. “My… my husband?” he stuttered, not sure if he had heard correctly. At Qui-Gon’s nod, he let out a shaky breath. How in the name of god had he managed to get someone like Qui-Gon to marry him? “Wow,” he breathed out, and let himself fall backwards, into the soft pillows. With pleasure did he watch how a warm smile appeared on the older man’s bearded features. “We are truly married?” It sounded too good to be true… any why could he not remember something as important as that?

Qui-Gon chuckled. “Look,” he half said, half commanded and he settled down sideways onto the mattress, holding his right hand out for inspection. Blue-green eyes settled onto the golden ring that rested on the man’s ring finger and then they turned to his own right hand, where a matching ring glittered. With trembling fingers, he reached out and took the golden ring from his finger, inspecting it and reading the engraving. “To my husband, in love: Always! - QGJ”

Qui-Gon showed him his own ring. “To my husband, in love: Forever! - OWK”

A comfortable warmth entered Obi-Wan at those words. It just had to be true, he somehow knew it was. The love from earlier had returned to his husband’s eyes.

Qui-Gon felt just a little bit glad too. Moments like these, when Obi-Wan complimented him just like this and when he seemed to be absolutely stunned by the fact that the two of them were married, he remembered why he went through this torture day over and over again.

“But… but why can’t I remember?” his voice was trembling.

Out of instinct, Qui-Gon reached out to offer comfort, laying his hand on the smaller male’s cheek. To his surprise AND delight, Obi-Wan actually leaned into the contact. “You were in an accident, a car accident. The… the,” it was still hard to talk about it, even though he must have said it a hundred times already. A smaller hand came to rest on his and he took comfort from the contact. “The doctors say that you are fine and completely healed, but something is blocking your memories. They don’t know what and therefore they had no idea what to do. We hope that one day…” He let the sentence trail off.

“Oh, I see.” But he did not. After all, for him they were just words, but Qui-Gon had to live through this. In fact, the long haired man suddenly looked so much older, as if the weight of the whole world rested on his strong shoulders.

The mood had dropped a lot and neither male was sure, what to say. Eventually, Qui-Gon took the initiative. “Come, let’s start the day. You must be hungry.” “I am,” confirmed the ginger haired male and he watched how his husband – it still sounded so foreign to him – climbed out of the bed and he was allowed a nice view of the other male’s well defined bottom. Obi-Wan’s freckled cheeks turned a crimson shade of red at that line of thoughts and he quickly hurried to follow the older man.

With wonder did Obi-Wan look around Qui-Gon’s home, or rather Qui-Gon’s house. He noticed that there were pictures with words glued to every shelf and closet and commode. Curiously, the ginger haired male opened one of them and found that the objects on the pictures were actually inside. A sad smile appeared on his features and he looked at the back of the man, who was already walking down the stairs. Qui-Gon must have done it, so that he was able to find everything on his own, without asking for anything. It was a sweet notion, really.

“Qui-Gon?” the long haired man turned his head just enough, to peek over his shoulder at his husband, who had only just entered the kitchen. He had known that Obi-Wan would investigate and rummage through a few cupboards and closets, it was only natural. That and it belonged to him too, so he was not at all bothered.

“Yes?” he asked, when it became clear that the younger male would not continue without his verbal acknowledgement.

Silent and unsure steps came closer, until Obi-Wan was leaning against the counter where the long haired man was working on.”

“To whom belongs this house?” he made a gesture at the bright kitchen, with the black countertop. It was stylish and modern.

“What do you think?” there was mischief and humor in the deep baritone voice and the man even had the audacity to wink at him.

He could guess the answer, he actually had already, but he had wanted it confirmed nevertheless. “So…” there was one question burning in his throat, but he was not sure, how it would be received.

The taller man in the room set down the knife he had lead with precision and skill and wiped his hands at the nearby towel, before he turned to look at his younger companion. He casually leaned with one hand on the counter and looked down at the ginger haired beauty that he called husband.

“We are married for seven years now,” he answered calmly and without any hint of emotion in his voice.

Strangely, Obi-Wan was not at all surprised when his unvoiced question was answered, before he had even made up his mind. He must have been asking the same questions every day. Obi-Wan wondered, was his partner not going mad with the constant repetition of the day? How long was this amnesia thing going on anyway, it must have been after the wedding, otherwise he could not picture himself getting ready to marry a person, who claimed to be his fiancé, but of who he had absolutely no memory whatsoever.

But Qui-Gon was talking again and he brought his husband out of his thoughts with it. “We married on a warm summer evening in a beautiful small cathedral near a park in your home town, Stewjon. It was not a grand celebration, just our closest friends and family were attending, but it was enough. We had your brother, Anakin, take pictures and his wife had taken care of the decorations. It was a good thing too, I think neither of us would have had a mind for such things.”

“How old were we?” he asked, holding his breath and his hands clenched into fists.

Qui-Gon tilted his head, calculating in his head. “You were… 22 and I was 27 years old. We were young and eager back then, but even today, I don’t regret it.” He NEEDED to add the last part, since he did not want for Obi-Wan to feel guilty for their current position. His husband always blamed himself for everything, it had gotten better over the years, but since most of his memories were gone…”

“When was the accident?” he was not sure if he WANTED to know the answer to this one, but the ginger haired man was sure that he NEEDED to know it.

Midnight blue eyes grew distant and the bearded man was staring into space, as if he was not quite there. “Four years after our marriage. It was not even your fault… that damn bastard,” unconsciously the tall man clenched his hands into tight fists, his arms trembling with the effort. His eyes had turned ice cold and the look of pure anger and even hatred, caused fear to arise in Obi-Wan’s stomach.

He didn’t want to see the man like this, with such dark and dangerous emotions, so he did the only thing that he came up with, reaching out and taking the trembling fist into his hand, running soothing circles over the knuckles with his thumbs.

Qui-Gon blinked himself back to reality, even though it was clear that it took some effort on his part, to do so. But eventually, he was able to take a deep breath and to unclench his finger, instead intertwining them with his husband’s.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, a little embarrassed, but Obi-Wan just shook his head.

“Don’t be,” it was both endearing and painful to know that this man before him, was still his beloved Obi-Wan, just without any memory of their shared time together. It was bad enough that he did not remember their wedding, but even worse that he did not remember the years before, which Qui-Gon spend with running after the ginger haired beauty. He had made himself into a huge fool, just to impress the younger male, but in the end it had been worth it. In the end, he HAD gotten this young male to become his man.

“A man called Maul, was driving in his father’s car, drunk and with a bunch of other, equally drunk friends. He got onto the wrong side of the street… the police said that you had no way of dodging…” he had to close his eyes at the terrible memory. Nobody liked to be called in the middle of the night to come to a hospital, because your husband was in a terrible accident. “His friends died on the spot, Maul himself died in the hospital, not even his arrogant father’s dirty money could help him, and you… the doctors fought hard for your life, but it was a close call, more than ones.”

Obi-Wan nodded, having carefully listened to the tail. It sounded truly terrible and to think that Qui-Gon went through all this, only to be further punished, because he could not remember the gentle and lovely man before him.

“Qui-Gon… can I kiss you?” he had no idea where that thought had come from, but it was something that married couples did to comfort each other, right?

“We are married… of course you can,” he quickly covered his shock with a little chuckle. He decided to let Obi-Wan take the next steps, even though it felt like an eternity since he last kissed his husband properly. The endearments at the end of another day did not count, most of the time Obi-Wan was already asleep when he pressed a soft kiss on the younger man’s forehead.

Shyly, Obi-Wan stepped into the other man’s personal space. He rested his hands on a muscled chest and looked at them for a moment. He could feel the other’s beating heart, which increased slightly upon the contact. Also, he could feel the rise of the chest with every breath that was taken.

He took another step closer, his hands moved to strong shoulders and he now stood on his toes to be chest to chest with the unmovable other man. Qui-Gon was warm, that was one of the first thoughts that came to his mind and his arms wrapped around his companion’s neck. He pulled the man, who was definitely too tall for this kind of activity, down and stopped only mere millimeters away from connecting their lips. Sudden doubts entered the ginger haired male’s mind, but when a pair of strong arms wrapped tightly around his waist, pushing their bodies even closer together, his doubts all evaporated. The last distance was closed and two set of lips pressed gently and softly together. There was no rush in the kiss, just love and care from Qui-Gon’s part and a healthy amount of curiosity from Obi-Wan’s side. They were both still breathless, when the kiss ended.

Without thinking about it, maneuvered Qui-Gon his partner so, that he could rest his head on ginger locks. He closed his eyes, living in the knowledge that he was holding his most important person, dear and close to his heart.

“I love you,” whispered the taller male, barely audible.

More than anything, Obi-Wan wished that he could return the sentiment, the words, but it would be a lie and it did not feel fair to lie to this dear man. He felt, as if he would just hurt the other more with such a lie, than he would help and that was the last thing Obi-Wan wanted.

“I don’t want to ruin the mood,” Obi-Wan began hesitantly, “but I think something is burning.”

Quickly, Qui-Gon pulled away with large eyes and a curse on his tongue. Amused did the younger male watch, how he turned hectically to the stove, desperately trying to save whatever it was, that he was cooking.

Obi-Wan shook his head fondly and decided it would be best, if he were to give the man some space to work. Instead he looked around, quickly finding the place, were the dishes were ‘hidden’.

It was almost domestic, with Qui-Gon cooking breakfast, his first try of scrambled eggs had landed in the trashcan, and with Obi-Wan setting the table. For a moment, it seemed as if everything was as it should be, but that too, was just a lie.

It was like a dream, or perhaps like one of those soppy romance novels and movies that Obi-Wan’s cousin, Ahsoka, enjoyed so much. Here he was, practically a stranger in his own house and with a stranger as a husband, but he did not mind. He could not explain the feeling himself, only that deep inside of him, something told him that this was right.

The time together with Qui-Gon was magical, even boring things like cleaning the house or other such chores, became entertaining with the taller man around to tease him. Also, the more open and forward Obi-Wan became, the more Qui-Gon let go of his own restraints. It was endearing to watch, like a wonder really.

The peak of their time together approached – to Obi-Wan it still felt like a huge date – when he and Qui-Gon were playing badminton. Obi-Wan had been skeptical at first, but to his surprise, he was a very decent player, easily holding himself against the taller male. It meant that he was either a natural, or –which was the more likely explanation – he and his husband used to do this quite a lot. At least the long haired man, who had tied his hair into a bun, seemed to greatly enjoy it, when the glittering in his eyes was something to go by that is.

They had to stop eventually though, the wind had picked up and rain clouds had appeared over their heads and it was right after the two had stepped back inside the house, shutting the door of the terrace, that the first rain drops fell onto the earth. Obi-Wan watched the spectacle with mixed feelings, while sitting in a comfortable armchair with his legs crossed under him.

Someone poked him lightly and when the ginger haired man turned to look, he found himself looking at a steaming cup of hot chocolate and there were even a couple of small marshmallows swimming in the cacao, just like he liked it. He gave the older male a thankful smile.

“Enjoy,” Qui-Gon said and he sat himself across from the other male, with his own cup of steaming tea. The tea was sat down on a nearby table, next to a heavy book that Qui-Gon took into his hands, opening it rather close to the end.

Obi-Wan had to smile at the relaxed man, whose nose was now stuck in the book. He had no idea what the other male was reading, the title was foreign to him, but he did not really care either. He preferred to listen to the radio that played in the background, sitting in otherwise comfortable silence and looking out of the glass door, watching rain drops slide down the smooth surface.

Even after his warm cacao was long gone, Obi-Wan held on to the empty cup, still staring outside. He was not thinking about anything in particular, neither did he notice the sometimes worried and often confused looks the older male kept sending him.

“I like watching the rain,” the ginger haired male in the room suddenly spoke out.

A small smile appeared on bearded features. Of course Qui-Gon knew, but he would not ruin the moment by speaking up, not when his husband was in his own world, free from burden.

A particularly large drop slowly moved down the glass. Blue-green eyes followed its trail, watching as other drops connected with it and made it even bigger, when his ears suddenly picked up the music that came out of the radio. Abruptly, he sat straight, attention away from the rain. He KNEW that song, in fact, it was his favorite one.

“Obi?”

He turned to the older man, giving him a reassuring look. “I love that song,” he said, as if it explained everything.

A chuckle escaped the long haired man, “And don’t I know it,” he reached out despite his teasing tone and turned the knob, turning the music louder.

For a short while, Obi-Wan simply sat in his chair, listening to the music. Then, his gaze wandered back to the window and he was suddenly hit by something that felt like a distant memory. He saw rain, as bad as this one, and there were him and Qui-Gon, dancing around like children. It was such a merry sight that he could not help but smile at himself.

Blue-green eyes turned to the reading male, scrutinizing him and weighing their owner’s chances. A predatory grin appeared on Obi-Wan’s features, what had he to lose?

He swiftly got up, setting the empty cup down somewhere – not really paying attention to where, if he was honest – and he took a step towards the room’s other occupant.

Qui-Gon gave him a questioning look that turned into light annoyance, when the book he was reading was carelessly thrown onto the ground. He was not able to voice any kind of protest however, because Obi-Wan had already taken a hold of his hands and pulled him up too, before dragging him towards the terrace door. While passing the ancient looking radio, he turned the volume up even more, then he was finally ready to step outside, a baffled but highly curious Qui-Gon hot on his heels, not that he had any other option, being manhandled like this.

“Obi-Wan,” he sounded as if he were suffering, “we’ll both get wet… and ill.”

“Nonsense,” replied the merry man and he began to pull the taller male after him, more or less in time with the music that was audible even despite the rain.

At first, Qui-Gon stumbled over both his and his partner’s feet, not sure what exactly was going on and what was wanted from him. But eventually, he succumbed to his fate, a dear memory springing to the front of his mind, and it was soon him, who led the dance.

Neither of them cared about the wind or the water anymore. They were already soaked to the bones anyway, so they did not stop, not even when the song was over and another started, not even when it was news that the radio played and not music at all. To Qui-Gon, his husband’s voice was all the music he needed and if the ginger haired man laughed when he was twirled around mud and puddles, then that was, what he would get. Speaking of which, his beautiful ever changing eyes were glowing and sparkling like they had not in a long time and his laugh was contagious. Qui-Gon could only return it with a large smile on his own, the few wrinkles at his eyes crinkling.

But it came like it eventually had to come. Every good things have to end eventually and so was it that Qui-Gon miscalculated a step and fell, taking Obi-Wan with him. Thankfully, the ground was already muddy enough that it did not hurt, especially since it was him, who had landed on top the other male.

A groan escaped Obi-Wan and he was completely covered in dirt now, even though Qui-Gon suspected that he was not faring much better.

A stunned and a little disorientated expression appeared on freckled features. Their faces were only inches apart. Obi-Wan blinked, Qui-Gon did too, and then did the younger of the two burst into contagious laughter. In this moment, he seemed so much like his old self, as if nothing had changed and it was probably the reason, why Qui-Gon simply leaned down and sealed the other’s lips with his own. He had not even thought about it, it had been an action born out of instinct and longing. And the brown haired man DID long for his beloved husband to fully return to him.

A single tear escaped the taller man, though it went unnoticed in the rain cascading down his face, and he was about to pull back after he noticed that his partner had become stiff under him, when a pair of strong hands suddenly fisted in his long hair and held him close and FINALLY, his kiss was returned. He closed his eyes, savoring the sweat taste of hot chocolate and something that was undeniable Obi-Wan. For so long, he had longed to do this with his husband again, with Obi-Wan actually returning the kiss and enjoying it.

For one moment, Qui-Gon had all but forgotten the harsh reality. His reality circled solemnly around the sweet man under him, who held him close and kissed him like his life depended on it. For one bittersweet moment, Qui-Gon had forgotten about fact that this was not really his husband, but a mere shadow of what he once was. And what he might never be his husband ever again. Qui-Gon pulled back, hiding his face in the other’s neck, eyes still closed. He didn’t want Obi-Wan to see him crying, even though there was a high chance that he would not notice due to the rain.

It took some time for the pair to pull away from each other. Qui-Gon had found comfort in his husband’s presence and Obi-Wan had allowed himself to enjoy the feeling of running his fingers through wet long strands of hair. It was surprising how content he felt, especially if you considered that he was still lying deep in the mud, with water raining down on them both.

They were both dripping wet when they stepped upon the terrace, which thankfully had a glass roof. Qui-Gon was mumbling something under his breath and despite him standing so close – their hands were holding each other – Obi-Wan could not make out, what was being said. Midnight blue eyes looked down at him.

“You look like you have taken a mud bath,” he commented wryly.

“Didn’t I?” he knew there was a huge grin on his face as he looked up at the taller male.

Qui-Gon scoffed, but then his expression turned playful. “Come here you…” he growled. Before Obi-Wan knew what was happening, he was picked up in a pair of strong arms and carried inside the house bridal style. He let out an unmanly yelp, while clinging to the other man’s neck.

“Relax, I am not going to let you fall… besides, we have done that once already,” he teased. Obi-Wan suspected that he was referring to their wedding day.

“I can perfectly walk on my own, thank you very much,” he grumbled, while wondering how in the world, Qui-Gon had managed to take off his shoes and socks, without setting him down or using his hands.

“I have no doubt, dear. But I rather not have you ruining my floor.”

“Good point.” He was carried all the way upstairs, to the main bathroom – the house had a second one, a guest bathroom – and there, he was put down, onto a towel that still lay on the ground.

“Take a quick shower, enjoy a long bath… do what pleases you, love,” he leaned closer, barely brushing his mouth against Obi-Wan’s and finally left with a smile.

Obi-Wan felt giddy inside. Never in his life, would he have thought that someone would ever love him so intense, like Qui-Gon did. It was too good to be true, really. He began slowly stripping out of his ruined clothes and threw them in the tub so that he could wash them out at least somewhat. When he was as bare as the day he was born, he stepped inside the shower, glad for the anti-slid mat in it.

When the first spray of water – some people would argue that he was showering extremely hot – hit his skin, he moaned in bliss. He felt his bones being warmed and the water was massaging his tense muscles.

A loud knock at the wooden door startled Obi-Wan. The shower cabin was non-transparent, at least from the outside, so he had absolutely no problem with calling for Qui-Gon to enter. The door was opened slightly and a hand with clothes reached inside, placing the clothes on the floor, before waving and shutting the door again. Obi-Wan chuckled to himself.

He quickly finished showering, even though it felt like heaven itself and just as quickly dressed into a comfortable pair of black sweatpants and a beige shirt.

When he stepped out of the bathroom, still rubbing with a towel over his hair, he listened for any kind of indicator, where his husband was. He could still hear water running nearby, so the man was still showering himself. Obi-Wan shrugged to himself and went down to the kitchen, intending to prepare the dinner that Qui-Gon had planned. The necessary things were already laid outside and since he pretty much knew how the dish was done – nothing fancy, just boiled potatoes with a tasty sauce and cutlet, perhaps even with peas and carrots – he just got started with the preparations, namely peeling the potatoes.

By the time he was halfway done, a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist from behind and a certain someone settled his chin on his still damp red hair.

“Hello there,” Obi-Wan greeted the other man. If he was honest with himself, then he enjoyed the attention and the man’s constant need for physical contact. It was endearing and as strange as it sounded, it awakened something deep inside him, something that just waited to come to the surface, but was not quite able to. It was frustrating to say the least.

Qui-Gon hummed, “You did not need to start without me.”

“I wanted to.”

Qui-Gon hummed in acknowledgement and pulled back, intending to help.

After dinner – they would clean up tomorrow – the two of them sat down on the couch in the living room. It had already become dark outside, so Qui-Gon had locked the doors and shut the open windows and closed their shutters.

It was out of pure instinct that Obi-Wan cuddled into the other male’s side. The surprise was obvious on the bearded male’s face, though the surprise soon turned into pleasure, when a heavy arm was draped over the ginger’s shoulders.

They were watching a movie about pirates, though the film was more of a comedy than anything else actually. Obi-Wan did not complain and neither did Qui-Gon. At least they did not have to actually think and concentrate to understand what was happening.

“Qui-Gon?” he waited till the other male looked down at him. “You have not yet told me, what I worked as… or what your job is.”

“You, my dear husband,” he tipped on the freckled nose with his forefinger, “are an author, a well known one at that… though you did not publish anything for the last three years.” He shrugged.

Obi-Wan mulled over that piece of information. He was not sure what to think of that. He had always loved reading, even as a small boy, but that he would one day actually become an author, it sounded… nice. “And you?”

“I am an artist… I once drew a cover for your book. It was how we met,” Qui-Gon said, his eyes had turned dreamy. “It was love on first sight, at least on my part… you on the other hand…” he chuckled and let the sentence trail off.

“I didn’t like you?” Obi-Wan guessed.

“You could say that, but to your defense, I DID look a lot different back then,” midnight blue eyes locked with blue-green ones.

“Different? How so?” his curiosity was spiked.

A pained expression appeared on the tall male’s features. “I looked like a bad mixture of a hipster and a rocker; at least that were your exact words. In hindsight, I am glad you tamed me, though the long hair stayed.”

Obi-Wan smiled. “I am glad,” to emphasize his point, he ran his fingers through the chestnut brown strands. Yet he could not help but wonder what the other male had looked like before. He wanted to ask, but something told him that his husband would not answer, no matter what he did. Life was so unfair sometimes.

Obi-Wan was already halfway asleep, leaning heavily on the taller male, when the movie ended.

“Obi dear, let’s go to bed,” the deep baritone voice whispered into his ear.

Obi-Wan groaned in protest, but did eventually sat up, upon being poked repeatedly into his side, he was very ticklish and it did not surprise him that Qui-Gon knew about it.

“Not fair,” he grumbled, still half asleep.

The older male laughed loud, he was walking behind him on the stairs. “Go you…” he growled playfully and Obi-Wan, who was in a good mood, despite being sleepy, ran up the remaining stairs, pretending to be genuinely scared. Qui-Gon caught him in their bedroom, tackling him onto the mattress. Thankfully they were already wearing their sleeping clothes.

“Get off of me, you big bully,” Obi-Wan joined the other’s laughter.

They continued to mock fight and laugh, until the two of them ended up on their sides, facing each other and panting heavily. Qui-Gon had somehow managed to get the blankets draped over them.

“Is it… always like this?” Obi-Wan asked gesturing to the both of them and then to the room.

Qui-Gon’s became sad. “No…. every day is different, only the beginning is the same.”

The ginger nodded, “And the end?”

“Always different,” whispered the brunette. His hand reached up and gently ran through his husband’s short hair. He paused in the movement, gazing deep into each other’s eyes. Qui-Gon slowly leaned forward, his hand moving down and his thumb caressing the younger male’s cheek, while they exchanged a slow and loving kiss.

“Always different, huh?” Obi-Wan repeated after they had parted. Qui-Gon pulled his hand away. “Tell me,” he took a deep breath, “tomorrow… will I remember?”

“…no,” there were no emotions in his voice, nor on his features.

Obi-Wan averted the older male’s gaze. He suddenly had the urge to cry. He bit his bottom lip, but he knew that he was fighting a losing battle. “I’m sorry,” he said in a broken voice and turned away from the man he was supposed to remember, the man he was supposed to love just like he was loved by him.

He heard a sigh from behind him and a warm body wrapped around his, offering comfort. “It’s not your fault,” the deep voice rumbled into the distraught man’s ear. His arms tightened.

Obi-Wan nodded, despite the tears that kept falling down his cheeks. He knew that he was not the one who should be shedding tears. After all it wasn’t him, who had to wake every day with his husband not remembering him. But it was all so sad and he felt so sorry for the gentle man behind him, who so obviously loved him with everything he got.

“I’m sorry,” he kept on repeating, his voice barely above a whisper. Qui-Gon said nothing in return, just held him through it all and Obi-Wan could not have been more thankful. Even though he silently prayed, to whoever would listen, that he would forget everything that happened tomorrow. He wished that he would remember, not for his own sake, but for Qui-Gon’s…

In the end Obi-Wan managed to cry himself to sleep, with Qui-Gon still wrapped tightly around him. The older male looked down at his husband with a heavy heart. It was rare that Obi-Wan suffered from his amnesia like this. It hurt him too, but there was nothing he could do, not even the doctors had found a cure. He just had to remain positive and to keep on hoping, what else could he do?

Qui-Gon was awoken the next morning by a pressure on his chest and someone drawing circles on it. Sleepily, he blinked his eyes open, fighting the sweet seduction of sleep that was trying to claim him once again. Once he finally managed to get his eyes to open, he was greeted by the sight of his husband lying atop of him, his eyes following the movements of his own fingers. Qui-Gon was slightly confused.

As if sensing the other’s wakefulness, Obi-Wan gazed up. A smile appeared on his features and he maneuvered himself up, until his lips connected with the older male’s, in a sweet kiss, despite morning breath.

“Hello there,” the ginger whispered.

Qui-Gon was a little stunned. For the love of god, he had absolutely no idea what was going on, which is why he stared awkwardly and a little lost at the other male, without saying anything in return.

“Is that a way to greet your husband?” his eyebrow was raised and there was a teasing smirk on his features.

Qui-Gon blinked, “Husband?”

“Hm,” Obi-Wan sat up, looking down at the long haired male. “Qui,” he hesitated, “I remember…”

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #qu gon jinn #quiobi #domestic #modern au #modern setting #The Jinnobi Challenge #jinnobi challenge 2017 #amnesia #hurt/comfort #past accident #they are so married #married #my fics #can be found on ao3

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honeygrey · 7 years

Text

A Twisted Hero’s Journey (SW meta)

I’m not the best when it comes to writing metas, but i was watching something on netflix and this popped into my head

“All hero’s journeys begin with the hero at rest in their home culture.

So one particular stage is the call to adventure. An outsider figure comes and calls them to adventure—says, “Come on, Luke. You’ve got to go do something now and help this girl.”

He embarks on a journey into the unknown, a run that’s usually much more crowded with the supernatural.

The hero is tested in these strange surroundings, and has to pass various trials in order to continue. Within that realm he meets various mentors and also various companion figures, who become sort of an entourage that he travels around with.

Typically he then has a near death experience-type adventure, where he plunges down into some kind of abyss.

But the hero survives this moment and achieves perhaps new knowledge or a treasure as a reward, and then he flees, pursued by the enemy.

From which he arises transformed, capable of fulfilling the quest on which he started out.

There’s one final test, and that is often a moment of life or death. The hero has to use all the knowledge he’s gained up until this far to come through that and succeed.

The end result, is a new world, a new status quo that comes into being.” (Myths and Monsters, season 1: episode 1)

Why the first 2 movies placed such importance on the burning temple scene, is because it’s the true beginning. This trilogy is the third Skywalker trilogy—father, son, grandson…but this time it has two heroes. Rey the traditional hero, and Ben follows the same path...except with a twist.

With Rey’s journey—each step if easily adapted. She leaves her life on Jakku to bring BB8 back to the Resistance, and meets Han and Chewie along the way like Luke did in the original trilogy. Around the same time, she discovers her connection to the force, and runs into Kylo Ren. After escaping her cell, she find Han and the others in time to watch her first mentor die (think Obi-wan dying in front of Luke in ep iv). She battles an injured Kylo Ren and survives, fleeing the first order with Finn and Chewie. In TLJ she finds her new mentor, Luke, after finally accepting her force abilities and Anakin’s lightsaber. From here, she travels to Kylo Ren, deciding that Luke was wrong about Ben Solo ever being “light.” By trusting him, Kylo Ren/Ben and Rey defeat Snoke like Vader with Palpatine, and bring about a new world…maybe not one she understands or wants, but none the less, “a new order.”

As a side note: I don’t consider Luke Rey’s second master, because she never really learns anything from him, beside “reach out and feel the force.” She never internalizes anything else he says regarding jedi, believing the light side is the only way to use the force--despite acting just as emotionally as kylo ren at points (i.e. attacking luke with her staff from behind)

Ben Solo’s story is much darker. It starts with him fully indoctrinated in the Jedi lifestyle—his uncle and mother, who he probably spent more time with than Han, where legends and leaders. They decided to train him, which would lead to Snoke discovering and calling out to Ben. The destruction of the temple lead Ben to joining Snoke (who would want to have a sit-down conversation with parents who abandoned and lied to you, as well as someone who just tried to murder you in your sleep?). With the fo, he has to learn how to use the dark side, and live up to snoke’s expectations and quests (like killing other jedis and force church people). Personally, I believe the Knights of Ren are something that existed before Ben turning into Kylo Ren, and he quickly rose through their ranks as someone who was highly skilled and force sensitive—this gives him his own crew of storm troopers to command as he carries out snokes missions (finding Lor San Tekka to find Luke). Unlike Rey who overcomes Kylo Ren in battle, he is met with failure (yoda: “the greatest teacher, failure is”), and Snoke makes sure he knows after he flees starkiller with Hux and Phasma. This loss makes him act bolder, more reckless (tfa he begs snoke to be given a chance to prove himself; tlj he stands up to snoke…twice!), and also presents the whole force-bond thing. He begins to connect with Rey, and discovers someone who is willing to listen to him (his treasure, like Rey and the lightsaber). Because of this connection, he finds the conviction to kill snoke by becoming sneakier, smarter (more sith like, but with more noble/grey intentions).

In my previous post, I made a few predictions about episode ix…but I’m going to alter them a little bit with the realization that this next movie, but run through the cycle a second expedited time.

· There’s a time lapse, to establish renperor’s new order (head canon: ben solo is really good with children, but terrible with other adults); rey is used to life among the resistance, and deepening her tie with the force, but doesn’t open a jedi academy (they’re in the middle of a bloody war!)

· Hux tells him, they learned about something the resistance plans on attacking, mentioning Rey (“the girl who killed Snoke”) to manipulate Kylo Ren in going himself (because he has to pretend he wants revenge on the person who killed the former leader, and also because [whether rey reciprocates or not] he has reylo feels).

· The resistance hears about their movements and is confused, so they travel to the planet, too, including rey in the millennium falcon.

· There, Hux stages a coup, ordering the stormtroopers to murder Kylo Ren to make it look like the Resistance did it, but he’s able to defend himself, and flees with his life, but injured. He might meet up with the Knights of Ren here, or Luke’s other ex-jedis.

· Eventually he comes in contact with Rey again. She’s disappointed in him, but not enough to let him die. Also Chewie and him need a better reunion and hash it out.

· He never becomes light, but learns to accept both sides—he also becomes her mentor in utilizing the dark side.

· At the end of the movie, they show up together and aid the Resistance/New Republic, in bringing down the First Order. Him leading the attack (sith=offense, jedi=defense). Although it feels repetitive, I would love it if it showed the resistance trying to attack him, not knowing where his loyalties lie.

Ultimately, Ben shouldn’t die—it sends a bad message, “the only way to redeem yourself is to sacrifice your life and die. Become a martyr.” Instead, like Karl Doenitz (the guy who became president of germany after hitler died), be punished for his complicit crimes, but not sentenced to death, and living out the rest of his life in relative obscurity following his release. This would be a change from Han and Luke receiving medals to Ben Solo willingly accepting his sentence. It would also be a bittersweet moment for leia (I don’t want them to kill her off, but write her character into an off-screen role—they had multiple opportunities to kill her in tlj and doing it off-screen would be an injustice to the character and carrie fisher) and rey, who believe in ben again, just to be separated.

#star wars meta #episode ix #kylo ren #ben solo #rey

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i-aim-to-overanalyze · 7 years

Note

Fanfic writers meme: 3, 4, 6, 7, 10, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20, 27, 39, 40, 42, 45, 46, and 50 (my question for #50 is: Your favourite character from any of your fandoms (pick one or several characters you like) is writing a fanfic STARRING YOU AS A CHARACTER. Regarding this fact, what kind of fanfic do you think he/she/they are writing about and how would you feel about you literally being in it?)

Thank you so much for sending in an ask! :D

3. Name three favorite writers.

Ahh, this is a toughie! I’m going to list three writers from different fandoms that I admire a lot.

A. Anappleofdiscord from fanfiction.net I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a tumblr and even tho it’s been forever since I spoken with her personally, she is an awesome person and an awesome writer. She writes for the Hetalia fandom, focusing on gen stuff centering around England and America. If you know anything about the Hetalia fandom, it’s ridiculously rare to find platonic fics about these two and her fics are like the cream of the crop. Her characterizations are on point, her fics are educational and hilarious (and also a rollarcoaster of emotions) plus she pulls off OCs superbly. If you ever check out her fics, tell her that Listenerofshadows sent you ;)

B. Glimare from fanfiction.net I don’t know her personally, but I love her work in the DC fandom. Sadly, she’s since mostly moved on to other fandoms (which is great for her, if the feeling’s not there, don’t push yourself to write fanfic for certain fandoms) but she has a TON of content and it’s all so good. Her most-well known work is a collection of one-shots known as “Daddy, Not Bats”. It’s an AU where Bruce encounters the bat-kids at a younger age and decides to retire to raise them all. It’s sweet, fluffy and angsty all rolled into one.

C. @elfpen from AO3, Fanfiction.net and Tumblr. I stumbled across her fanfic Reprise when looking for a good star wars time-travel fanfic to satisfy my needs and boy, DOES SHE DELIVER. Most time-travel fics center around the OT era or Obiwan and/or Anakin traveling to TPM, but hers focus on OT!Obiwan traveling back to the era BEFORE TPM. It’s a great fic, I love the characterizations and her OCs are on-point. Not to mention, she also has a lot of other awesome SW and HTTYD content.

Putting everything else under the cut because this is gonna get long quick!

4. Name three authors that were influential to your work and why.

A. Anappleofdiscord, again. Because she has actually beta’d my work before and given me great writing advice. I haven’t finished Neverlast, nor barely touched on it, but I’m thankful for her influence she’s played on it.

B. It’s hard to pinpoint my inspiration for my writing, because it’s kinda an intuitive thing? Like, I’ll be writing and a phrase comes up and I’m like “I know I stole that phrase from some fanfic lol” but i don’t know which one??? But basically all the fanfic writers I love are legions above me and I admire them all. But I have to say, I’ve started writing more third-person present tense because of a few good fanfics (but I can’t pinpoint which ones) which it’s a rare tense for a novel to pursue but I love the rhythm of it.

6. How did writing change you?

I’ve been writing before I could even write. Basically as a little four-year-old, I’d make pictures and then dictate to my older sister/mom what the pictures were about, essentially creating a storybook out of it. Since writing has been part of my life for so long, it’s so innate to me like breathing air. I know there’s a lot I could improve on writing, but it’s just a freeing way for me to express myself in a clear and concise manner. In real life, I can be awkward in how I word things and I have a tendency to trip over words or don’t fully pronounce my th-s and s-es. Fanfiction is great because I can explore my favorite concepts of a fanfic in a medium that people can enjoy reading in :)

7. Early influences of your writing

Once I discovered reading was fun (I didn’t learn to read until 2nd grade but that’s okay, because once I did I was reading several grades above my level) I devoured books. Some of my favorite books as a child are: PJO, Chronicles of Narnia, Boxcar Children and Black Beauty. I also did some RPG’ing at a young age, which greatly improved my writing as the constant writing at a rapid pace forced my writing to improve exponentially. There were roleplayers that I admired greatly that I imitated because I wanted my writing to be as good as theirs.

10. how do you do your researches?

Google, man, Google. For example let’s say my fanfic is a historical AU. I know a lot about history, but I might look up a historical site to proofcheck my dates or phrases of the time. Fanfic is nice, because it gives you an excuse to rewatch your favorite show if you wanna make sure you nail the characterizations. I might just look at a fan wiki if it’s a minor detail like what’s Ahsoka’s smaller lightsaber called.

13. Hardest character to write

Oohhh boy! I think everyone can agree that Yoda and Darth Vader are the two toughest SW characters to write for. It’s hard to get into the head of a 900 yr old troll and Vader is just…really hard? Palpatine is also hard not to make him the typical cookie-cutter villian (Which he is, but I’d like to try to give him some depth). I feel like I write a different take of Anakin every time I write a different AU involving him, but I think that’s because the AUs are at different points of his life and also the AU effects his reaction to things.

14. Easiest character to write.

I know it’s contradictory, but Anakin. He’s definitely chaotic good and it’s fun to write that archtype. I haven’t written much Obiwan (actually I have, but I can’t post it until I write the chapters bridging to him :/) but he’s more lawful good compared to Anakin and throwing those two into the same fic is fun to see. Padme is a fun one to write as well as Ahsoka.

17. Favorite AU to write

I have so many AUs so again, hard choice. Gotta say Impetus, since it’s the most I have written for and I love it. It deals more with the traumatizing effects that slavery/the Jedi have inflicted on Anakin plus an even more problematic Palpatine. I didn’t mean to recreate Palpatine in that fashion he’s basically a pedophile in this AU, the characters kinda just made it happen and I ran with it. It was supposed to be a humorous/fluffy what-if but like everything I touch, it’s also angsty ( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

19. Favorite fandom to write for

My favorite fandom to write for naturally changes with my interests. I was obsessed with YJ for a while, then Hetalia and now SW. Star Wars is fun to write for because there’s a big audience and it’s pretty easy to find a pocket audience who love the same types of things that you do. YJ will always be my first love. I’m currently writing a fanfic for a YJ fandom event, but I’ve been kinda struggling? I’ve lost my enthusiasm writing-wise even tho I still love it to bits.

20. Favorite Character to Write.

Anakin, probably. It’s funny because I used to never like the PT, but the Clone Wars changed all that. It’s a shame that Lucas went the direction he did for Anakin in PT because TCW uncovered a problematic but likeable hero and I wish we could’ve seen that live-action (It’s not Hayden’s fault btw, the director is the one responsible for what portrayal the actor gives)

27. Best review you ever got.

Okay, so. I used to share an account on FF.Net with a friend and I wrote of a lot of YJ fanfics. One of them was a gen one-shot involving Bart and Jaime that received a good amount of attention. AND A REALLY GOOD FANFIC AUTHOR THAT I ADMIRED AND LOOKED UP TO REVIEWED MY FIC AND I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN OVER IT. I never in a million years imagined that my favorite authors potentially read my fanfics, let alone review/favorite it.

39. Do you want to be published some day?

Kinda. As a kid I’ve always wanted to get published but now I’m not so sure. I’ve never finished any fics other than one-shots and that really has gotten to me. My current goal is to finish at least one of my fanfics but I think I’ve been putting it off because I’m afraid it’s impossible to acccomplish. It’s silly, I know. I just need to do it.

40. Which one of your stories do would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Hmmm….probably my one-shot involving those two bounty hunter OCs. I could just see them trying to survive the universe with the least amount of weird space stuff happening but they seem to get pulled into it anyway. Those two are actually the easiest OCs for me to write, btw.

42. Do you plan or do you write whatever comes to mind?

I’m a weird creature. In life, I like to know things ahead of time. I like things to run exactly the way I planned. I don’t like unexpected variables. but in writing…I rarely outline. I usually write whatever is on my mind. Pure inspiration is awesome…until it runs out and feels like you’re pulling teeth to just to write a single sentence. That’s when I attempt to outline things.

45. Share the synopsis of a story you haven’t published yet

“Whatis love? To a young child slave, it is the words his mother used to caress himafter a brutal beating by their master. It is wrapped in the kisses she givesto each bruise and lullabies that lull him to sleep.” A meta on Anakin’s varying views of love a crappy summary authored by moi

46. Share a scene of a story you haven’t published yet.

Welp. Might as well share from the above fic.

Whatis love? To a young child slave, it is the words his mother used to caress himafter a brutal beating by their master. It is wrapped in the kisses she givesto each bruise and lullabies that lull him to sleep.

Hismaster can freely touch every part of him he wishes. He can say words to him—hecan do anything he like to him.

Hecan say things like, “You know I love you, boy?” and the slave obedientlyanswers, “Yes, master.”

He’sso very young, but he knows that his master’s words and touch are not love.Only his mother’s is. He doesn’t know how to describe it. But he can feel thewarmth behind them, like hovering over a fire on a cold desert night. They arelike a thick blanket made of bantha furs, soft and comforting. They melt awayhis tears and fill his lungs with laughter.

Everyday, his mother tells him “I love you Ani.” and Ani, the slave boy, freelyreplies, “I love you too, Mom!”

Hefollows by her example, smothering her with hugs and tells her silly stories tohear her laughter that rings like the bells at the market stands. Because heknows love is the best medicine to heal anyone. It makes them feel fuzzy insideand they don’t feel so sad knowing someone cares about them.

Hismom gets sad a lot, so he does his best to repel the sadness away. He doesn’tget angry when she’s sad, because she isn’t angry when he’s sad.

“It’sokay to be sad,” She tells him one night as she runs her hands through hishair, “Everyone gets sad, just like how everyone gets angry or happy.”

“Mastersdon’t like it when we’re angry though.” Anakin pouted.

Shepauses; looking down at her son with a sad smile, “No matter what they say,you’re allowed to feel angry, Ani. Bundle it up, and keep it to yourself—andrelease it when they aren’t looking.”

“Areyou ever angry, mom?” He yawned as he snuggled closer.

“Yes.”His mother breathed deeply, and he could feel a bit of her anger—for aninstant.

It ishot—not warm like Love’s fire. No, it burns and consumes him for a moment. Itreminds him of all the bruises and welts that his masters have given him. Angeris selfish and doesn’t love. He doesn’t like seeing the giver of his Love feelthis way. He internally sighs in relief when her anger melts away as he told atale about a funny customer that came in that day.

Hehas never truly felt anger. He flinches from its’ touch and refuses to feel theemotion that his masters are fond of.

50. Your favourite character from any of your fandoms (pick one or several characters you like) is writing a fanfic STARRING YOU AS A CHARACTER. Regarding this fact, what kind of fanfic do you think he/she/they are writing about and how would you feel about you literally being in it?)

I feel like everyone relates when I say I don’t think my life is interesting. I’d pick Cassie from YJ because I feel like she’d be the type to write fanfic. I will say one ironic moment in my life is that I starred in a play as a shy bookworm girl who got the lead role in her school play alongside her crush, the star basketball player, incidentally they ended up together in the end. Everyone irl teased me about this but the truth is….I actually had a crush on the actor himself. We’ve known each other for years and are good friends. And the closest I ever gotten to “kissing” him was a moment in the play where our characters almost kissed before being interrupted by other students. But of course nothing real came of the play and we still remain good friends. I always note in my head that the hollywood version is that we…would’ve hooked up in the end. I’m sure if I was a fictional character and Cassie shipped me with him and we didn’t get together in the end, she’d be writing a fix-it fic where our pairing is the true pairing in the end. If i wasn’t fictional, I’d feel really weirded out by it. I don’t like fic involving real people in it, especially if it involves ships. I’m almost 90% sure this guy doesn’t have a crush on me and just regards as friends. Which is okay, because I’m not sure if I even want a relationship at the moment.

#sw #yj #fanfic #fanfic writer ask meme

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