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arcanefox207 · 3 months ago

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The Wolf You Feed (Part 4)

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Word Count: 8.1k

Part 4 / ? (Ongoing) A O 3 | M A S T E R L I S T

Summary: Set in a fictional New England town, you fall for your handsome, intense and outdoorsy neighbor while renting out your parent's vacant summer home during a brutal winter.

Chapter Warnings: ANGST. Smut. POV-Switching. Rated Explicit. 18+ MDNI. See series masterlist for complete warnings.

A/N: This one is gonna hurt. I’m so sorry.

You get ready for bed and eye the flannel that you stole from Joel’s house. You hold it close to your chest and breathe in his scent that still lingers.

You strip down to nothing but your lacy panties and don his shirt. You precariously drape it off your shoulders and look at yourself in the mirror.

Joel would love this.

Your hair is still damp and messy from your shower but you look clean and bright. The I’m positively smitten glow you have makes you radiate.

You position yourself on your bed perched on your knees with your legs spread open. You adjust the shirt just right to hang over your shoulders and around your breasts, just barely covering your nipples.

With your phone positioned slightly above you, you snap a pic while making your most innocent face. Your full body is in the frame and perfectly teasing with your frumpy shirt placement. Your sluttiest black, lacey panties also help to conceal just enough to be a tease.

You: Getting ready for bed

You attach the photo and send it. You sit back on your heels and eagerly watch for the read receipt. He is quick to reply.

Joel: Goddamn

Joel: Beautiful

A brief pause.

Typing. Typing. Typing.

Joel: Got any more?

Your heart skips a beat. You absolutely want to give him more.

You: Maybe

You sit back and let the flannel shirt drape open, fully exposing your breasts and your hardened nipples. You sit more upright, and grab a fistfull of your hair and gaze up to the camera, looking a little deranged and lustful. You eye your photo before sending it, impressed with yourself.

Sent.

Joel: Fuck

Joel: Look at them tits

You smirk as you imagine him losing his mind and hope he is as horny as you are. You feel your heat begin to surge inside. You feel so needy for his cock.

You: Your turn

You weren’t too sure what to expect or if he would even play along but after a minute you got your answer.

The photo he sends is so poorly taken, it is endearing when you get over the disappointment of not having his dick perfectly photographed. It’s dark and grainy. You can just make out the navy blue sheets under his skin to deduce he is in his bed too. His black t-shirt is pulled up just slightly and his hand is what's mostly in focus, holding onto his cock that is peeking out of his flannel pajama pants. He is pulling his foreskin down tight making the head of his cock flush with color against his skin. The shadowiness makes his happy tail look even thicker and more unruly than what you have seen.

Nevertheless, it is undeniably Joel. The flutter you get inside that you only ever felt from him.

You: Joel, how naughty

One more photo, he earned it.

This time, you let the shirt fall off completely to your hips. You slide one of your hands into your panties and hook your thumb over the edge to pull them down. You make a “V” with your fingers and press yourself apart so your swollen clit is in full view. With your free hand you snap one last picture and send it. This one is more focused and does not show your face, but it certainly was an eyeful. You doubt he would even be looking elsewhere.

Your message is instantly read. After a moment Joels typing comes and goes until it stops completely. You wonder if he is touching himself. Hope he is touching himself. You impatiently rub your fingers against yourself while you wait, aching at the thought of him.

Your screen changes to an incoming call from Joel Miller.

Of course you answer it as calmly as you can.

“Hey, Mr. Miller.” You greet him with a flirty tone.

“Mmm what are you doing to me, baby girl.” He speaks low and sounds relaxed and groggy. You wonder if you woke him up when you sent the first pic and kind of hope you did.

“Just getting ready for bed and thinking about you.”

You hear him make a breathy acknowledgement and you know he is stroking himself just by how he is breathing. You feel bolder and more daring talking to him on the phone. You can be a tease and he can’t do anything about it.

You put it on speaker so you can have both your hands free.

“Wishing it was your fingers on me.” You lay back on your bed and slide your fingers over your clit until a moan escapes you. “Or your cock.”

“Mmm. Keep going,” he growls low.

Even on the phone he has to be bossy. His voice cuts straight through you. Always so commanding but spoken with a warmness that makes you melt.

You slide a finger inside your wet and needy cunt and use your other hand to tease your clit.

“Joel…” you rasp his name low as you moan. “How hard are you right now?”

You hear him chuff quietly.

“Bout ready to come, sweetheart.”

His shallow breathing and occasional grunt cheers you on. Your hands are so inadequate compared to his. You need to be filled by him. Want his rough hands putting friction in all the right spots.

You fumble with your nightstand drawer for your dildo. His ears pick up on the creak of the wooden drawer opening and he stops you in your tracks.

“No toys.” His stern voice commands. “I want you to get off with your fingers.”

You can hear his grin on the other end.

“... and beg for my cock.”

That wouldn’t be hard to do. You already are screaming inside for him to put you out of your misery. Your performative moans are now all too real.

“Joel… fuck.” You whine but bring your hand back to your opening and press inside with two of your fingers while you massage your clit.

His authoritative demands empower you. Hearing him breathing, groaning and barking orders at you makes it a lot easier to get yourself to the edge. Despite how tiny your hands are in comparison, your mind fills in all the gaps as his voice penetrates your ears.

“I want you to fill me,” you whine.

“Mmm. Gonna make a mess of me.” He sounds haggard. He has been holding back his own release for sure. The thought of making Joel Miller come undone over the phone is intoxicating.

You moan and your breath hitches as you can feel yourself teetering on the edge. Pleading to release.

“Joel…” You whimper. Begging.

“Come for me, baby.” His commanding tone returns, beckoning you to do as he asks.

“Let me hear you. Come for daddy.”

You gasp at his words. That was never something you thought you were into. It went straight to your pussy. Your walls flutter around your fingers as you replay his words in your head. You do come for him, hard, and let him hear you climaxing over the thoughts of him inside you.

“Mmmm.” He groans low as you ride your climax high and let your desperate sounds tip him over the edge.

His labored breathing and raspy moans pick up and you know he is coming.

He goes silent and You can just imagine him laying in his bed with his cock in his hand, pumping himself until he comes over his knuckles. Spent and sticky.

A moment passes as you both breathe heavily catching your breath. Enjoying the moment with one another and relishing in the aftermath of your shared experience.

“Such a good girl.” He praises. “Now, get some sleep.”

You roll your eyes. As if sleeping was going to come easy at this point.

“Night, sweetheart.”

“Night… daddy.” You smirk to yourself, amused and satisfied, and hang up.

You were pretty shocked to see Joel in your driveway come the next morning. He was scraping ice off your windshield and there was a fresh tossing of salt and sand on your walkway. There was some freezing rain overnight, unbeknownst to you.

“Hey, you really don’t have to do that for me.” You call out as you lock your door and make your way down the path.

“I know.” He scrapes at the last bits of frost. “Still gonna.”

You brighten at the way he says it. Feminism be damned, it felt really good to have this man looking out for you.��

You were looking real cute in your Bean boots and beanie. Acting a little more timid compared to your late night activities.

You shoved your hands in your jacket pockets and walked over to your car with a cutesy spring in your step. Joel tried to hide his disdain for your carefree jaunt down the icy path. Still, he looked so handsome in his brown suede coat and his relentless refusal to wear a winter hat. Always wielding that power to make you melt in his presence.

“Thank you.” You smile at him as you approach him at arm's length. “Still not giving you the shirt back,” you tease.

“Don’t want it back.” He holds back a smirk and quickly looks you over. Reliving last night's photos, you can imagine. You suppress a wicked smile imagining him saving them in his main album like a heathen.

He takes a step towards you and with his gloved hand he gently holds your chin and brushes his thumb over. You note the subtle way his eyes soften. His longing stare makes it feel like he isn’t going to see you for a long time, and it lingers. He drops his hand and puts it on his hip. His other hand fidgets with his leg like he is unsure what to do.

“I’m not gonna be around for a little while” He hesitates and looks like he wants to say more and you pickup that something is off. Something he still has decided you are not privy to know about. Whatever has been bothering him the past few days is still weighing on him. “I got some stuff to take care of and I’ll be real busy.”

“Ok, Joel.” You don’t give away that you think he sounds suspicious. Guilty even. You want to press him, but you let it go, again. You open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off.

“I’ll call you, alright?” His voice is firm, there is no room for questions.

“Alright.” You force a smile and he nods and heads to his truck. It was hard not to take that as asking you not to bother him. He wasn’t being unkind in his tone, but he wasn’t being truthful either.

You can’t shake the feeling that something is off.

You are dragging your feet at work. After your late night fun with Joel your mind was wide awake and you had trouble sleeping.

Marlene is extra bubbly today. She is riding the Friday wave and you are grateful she takes on more of the customer facing role while you just work mindlessly making endless orders of lattes and cold brews.

“So, do you wanna?”

“Huh?” she had been talking to you, apparently.

“Do you want to go out tonight?”

“Oh. Yeah, ok.”

“You sound really interested.” She says sarcastically while she stares at you and crosses her arms.

“Sorry, just tired. Yes, I’d love to.”

“Good. Meet at Copper’s around 8? They are doing all night happy hour and open mic.”

“Sounds good.” And it does sound good. Something to do to keep yourself busy and it’s better than going home and watching Netflix by yourself. You have no idea how long Joel is going to be occupied and Marlene is the only other person you would consider a friend since moving there. It would be nice to spend some real time with her outside of work.

“Its not the classiest place, but the crowd is good. Dress slutty and maybe we can get some free drinks.” Marlene jokes, but you have every intention to dress like a knockout and have a good time.

When you walk in it becomes obvious you are overdressed. Many eyes were on you. You stuck out and had a lot of attention, some unwanted, but it also was flattering. Your choice of black minidress was conventionally good for a night of drinking and letting loose, but less practical once you walked through the door and saw what you were working with.

Copper’s was just a few notches above a dive bar and significantly less upscale than the late night Boston clubs and speakeasy’s you frequented. It was mostly crawling with locals, many of which you recognized from Grind. Despite that, the energy felt good. Friendly faces lit up when they saw you and even more cast some not-so-conspicuous stares at your body when they thought you were not looking.

The expansive bar wrapped around the back wall and there was a small stage on the wall across from it. High tops and tables filled out most of the middle with little room to do much more than sit and socialize. Get drunk off beer and cocktails and fat off appetizers and hot wings. The whole place was a little chaotic and rough but it felt cherished. It embodied that small town feel that was brought to life by the patrons.

Marlene walks up to you with some sort of fruity cocktail in each hand. Dressed much more casually than you with a high waisted denim skirt and a low cut band tee.

“About time you get here. Damn, girl!” She looks you up and down as she hands you the drink. “You don’t play around.” You share a laugh, and relish your new, unexpected friendship.

The cocktail is overkill on the sweetness but the vodka hits you hard when you take a sip.

“You didn’t tell me this place was a dive!” You tease.

“Well it’s the only bar we have open year-round so don’t knock it.” She pretends to scold you.

“I’m joking. This is perfect.” And it was.

You and Marlene make quick work of your drinks as you float around the bar. She introduces you to new people and you get friendlier with familiar faces. The bartender flirts with you when he learns you are new to town and you indulge in some harmless fun.

The bar is quickly filling up and you think it must be a fire code violation at this point. You buy the second round of drinks and take a seat while you still can. Laughter and the high from your buzz set you on the right path and you are filled with gratitude for your new friendships and your new home.

[Joel POV]

Joel fiddles with his empty beer bottle, unsure what the hell he is doing. Tess should be arriving any moment now, and he is no closer to ending things with her.

He has his guitar in tow, stowed against the wall. He perches himself in the very last seat, enjoying some solitude while the bar slowly starts to fill in.

He raises two fingers at the bartender and signals that he is ready for another beer. The bartender returns a moment later with a fresh Budweiser.

“There he is!”

Joel spins on his bar stool to the familiar voice.

“Hey Frank. Bill.” He nods to them as Frank slaps his back enthusiastically and sits down next to him.

“Been a while. Tess coming too?”

“S’posed to.” Joel takes a swig of his beer and doesn't give them much of an opportunity to ask more.

Bill sits silently on the other side of Frank, orders two beers and slides one to Frank. He never was one to talk much compared to his counterpart.

“Well, we have missed you. It has been at least a month since we have seen you.” Frank turns to Bill, urging him to converse a little. They were all old friends, but Tess was the one that tended to be the glue between them.

Bill nods in agreement. “Ain’t like it used to be. Not missing much.” Joel keeps to himself, staying mostly quiet while the other two make small talk between themselves. They know Joel well enough to recognize when he is in a mood and to give him space.

Tess walks up to the bar shortly after and throws her arms around Frank in surprise.

“Hey Stranger!” She turns to Bill and does the same thing but he is much more reserved. She intentionally makes him uncomfortable with an embrace, making Frank laugh at his discomfort.

Joel turns his body so his legs are back under the counter and sips his beer. The three of them chatter for a few minutes while Joel broods.

“They are going to start soon. Lets grab a table before they are all taken.” Frank was already buzzed and it made him even more eccentric.

“I’m fine right here.” Joel declines.

“Alright, well join us if you want to later.” Frank taps his shoulder and shuffles off towards some tables closer to the stage. Bill follows behind after giving a silent nod to Joel and Tess and lifting his beer to gesture goodbye. Poor Bill was not one for going out and socializing, but he did it for Frank.

Tess takes Frank’s seat and hails the bartender right away. She notices it's not their regular guy and isn’t too impressed with him making her wait. A silence looms for a few moments. The air is awkward and tense.

“Two shots of whiskey.” She requests and glances over at Joel as the bartender pulls out two shot glasses. Joel nods in agreement.

“Wasn’t sure if I’d see you tonight.” Joel is the first to speak.

“Likewise.” Tess says sharply but follows up softer. “I’m glad to see you.”

The bartender finishes pouring the shots and pushes one to each of them. They knock them back.

“Look, I meant what I said.” Joel sounds like he is reassuring himself as much as her.

“I know.” She retorts. His eyes find doubt in her words. “Jesus, Joel, I know. Can’t we just have some drinks? Don’t be such a sour puss.”

Joel scoffs at her words. He pushes his empty shot glass away and taps near his glass when the bartender walks closer. He pours another round. Joel and Tess knock back a second shot. It isn’t nearly enough to help him deal with his issues but it does help him lighten up a little.

Tess leans against Joel's shoulder and presses her hand onto the top of his thigh. She always was a lightweight, and had no problems coming on to him. No doubt she had pre-gamed before coming out, same as Joel.

“Why can’t it just be like this?” she traces a circle on his leg and moves her finger closer to his groin. He shifts his leg as she grazes his zipper.

“Nothings’ ever easy with us, Tess.” Joel pauses and puts his hand over hers. Reluctantly he peels her hand away. “We don’t want the same things anymore.”

“You don’t want this anymore?” She slides her hand back over his zipper this time with more force and she feels him twitch under the denim. She strokes her fingers down his length pressing into his seam. He stifles a groan and stirs in his seat.

“Tess..” His words plead her to stop, but his body reacts to her touch as it always does. Betraying his good intentions. Their attraction for one another was never in question. It just made things a whole lot more complicated. It was hard for him to resist her advances, and he wasn’t even sure he wanted to. She wasn’t exactly cooperating with his poor attempts to resist either.

“‘Course I do.” He looks at her, wantonly and holds her gaze. He pauses and chooses his words carefully. “But it’s not enough.”

She was observant of his reaction, calculating what sort of leverage she had left with Joel. She could see his genuine anguish and was reminded too well of the circumstances that brought them together in the first place. She never said it in all those years, not once, but she did love him.

“We can make it work… we always do.” Tess tries to reason with him, but she has defeat in her voice.

“It’s too late for us, Tess.” Joel reaches a hand out to the side of her face and gently holds her. She removes her hand from his lap and wraps around his forearm and covers his hand with her own, leaning into his touch. The moment is intimate and despite a room full of people it felt like they were the only two. The unspoken love between them was always there as a thread to keep them together. This was not ending because the love was gone, it was ending because it had no more room to grow.

He could see that she was finally accepting what he was saying. At least she was trying to. He brushed his thumb over her cheek and reassured her with his touch that his feelings for her were not lost, but he was not going to give into them anymore.

“I need a clear mind.” He locks eyes with her as he takes his hand back. “I’m playing tonight.”

“You are?” She pulls away, surprised and easily distracted with the subject change. She looks down and eyes Joel’s guitar case leaning against the bar. “Singing too?” Joel nods. This feels familiar and comforting.

“Well I’ll be damned.” Tess’ smile fades and expression softens, filled with sadness. A realization that they had moved away so far from where they used to be. A silent moment lurks but it is not unwanted. It gives them both time to think.

“I never asked you for anything.” Tess utters quietly. Joel nods in agreement, silently reliving all the things he loved about her. Still loves about her.

“Never had to.” Joel gives a gentle side smile. Their eyes meet. Eyes that are intimate and mourning all at once. Hopeful and nostalgic.

He was always going to love Tess.

She stands to interrupt the silence and reaches for his hand to follow.

“Lets find Bill and Frank. I wanna sit with them while you play.”

“Alright.”

Joel leaves his guitar at the bar and follows close behind her. The room is getting more and more crowded by the minute. The first act is wrapping up and switching over to another singer. The bar is alive with excitement.

Following Tess into the crowd his heart drops. There you are, just a few tables in front of him, sitting at a hightop with Marlene. Dressed incredibly sexy with your short dress and your cropped leather jacket. Knee high boots and your hair flowy and free. He wished he could take you right there and have his way with you.

You looked so happy. So unaware of what was about to happen. Innocent and at peace.

Tess grabs his arm and pulls him towards your table, excited to see you and Marlene and she makes a beeline to say hello.

You shouldn’t be here. His brain screams and his heart races. His chest gets heavy and tight as he inches closer to your table, unable to stop the encounter. It was too late. You had already noticed him approaching when Tess called your name and you saw him in tow.

He should have told you from the start, but he didn’t. Even if nothing had happened with Tess since he started falling for you he was well aware how this was going to look.

He was finally making some progress with Tess and couldn’t risk that getting ruined. At your expense, too. There was no other way.

And he knew right at that moment he was the biggest asshole in the world.

[Reader POV]

You turn your head as you hear your name being called out. You see Tess first and just towering behind her is Joel. It was impossible to miss him with his broad shoulders and brooding scowl. For a brief moment, you light up to see him when your eyes catch his.

He was a sight to behold. Wearing a button up navy blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up on his tight forearms. Jeans hugging his body and perfectly accenting his burly frame. His hair was also slicked back and styled like he gelled it fresh out of the shower. The moody lighting masking his silver streaks more than usual. He looked absolutely delicious and it made you ache for him all over again. You had just put him out of your mind too. It didn’t take much to stir up those feelings again when your desire for him was relentless and insatiable. Your heart races, fueled by your longing.

Until you realize they are together.

A wave of dread washes over you. Joel immediately looks away from you in a panic, confirming your fear that something is wrong. He won’t look at you but you can’t take your eyes off of him and ignore everything else around you.

“This is my new star employee. She’s wonderful.” Tess lights up talking about you and playfully bumps into your shoulder. She is babbling on but you have no idea what she is saying because you aren't listening to her anymore. Too preoccupied with figuring out what was happening. Questioning why Tess was introducing you to the man you had been fucking for the past few weeks. The man who had naked photos of you on his phone. The man you were hopelessly besotted with.

Joel’s eyes glance up at you and for the first time ever he looks sheepish. He holds his hand out standard and practical. Emotionless like it's a formal business greeting.

“Joel. Nice to meet you.” You stare, dumbfounded by his words, spoken so nonchalant.

Nice to meet me?

He holds his hand out firmly, waiting for you to take it. His eyes plead with you to go along with it. You lightly grasp his hand. His fingertips drag tenderly as he pulls it away, as if they were apologizing. You say nothing but force a pathetic half-smile.

Tess clearly having one too many drinks hangs off of his shoulder and bumps into his hips. You try to hide the confusion and disgust on your face. Joel refuses to look at you again after your introduction.

He doesn’t reciprocate her energy at all. He looks like a lost dog. Uncomfortable and out of place. She seems oblivious to it, but you are dead focused on reading him to get some answers while she carries on talking. He is a stone wall, giving you nothing.

Marlene says something in response and the two of them laugh but you can’t hear anything but muddled voices over the loudness of your thoughts.

Joel nods at whatever she says but is silent. He looks so distant like he wants to shrink away. Guilty and cowardly.

Every piece of your being wants to scream. What is going on? You don’t want to assume anything. Maybe they are friends and you are overreacting. But then why wouldn’t he have said something sooner? Why did he pretend not to know you? Why won’t he even look at you? The questions keep piling up and your stomach is in knots.

“Come on, Joel.” She hooks her hand around his arm to pull him along. You’ve never seen him act so submissive. “See you girls later.”

As he brushes past you he catches your arm when no one is looking and he gives you the softest brush with the back of his hand. He tries to be inconspicuous and whispers in your ear as he passes.

“I’m so sorry.” His words stab you. They sound sincere and painful but offer no comfort or answers.

As Joel and Tess disappear into the crowded room of people, Marlene is quick to notice you are in your head but brushes it off as being a little drunk.

“God they are annoying.” Marlene shakes her head and takes a sip of her drink. You hear her talking, but still not really listening. You are preoccupied watching Tess take a seat a few tables away and see Joel make some brief small talk and wander off in the direction of the bar.

They didn’t look romantic, at least not from his angle. Are you just overreacting? The alcohol is probably just making you paranoid. You hate how insecure he makes you feel. The reality is that the more time you spend with him the harder it is to be apart. He was unlike any man you had ever been with on so many levels. He made you feel so needy for his attention, and jealous that he was with Tess in some capacity, instead of you. You feel foolish.

A singer briefly performs a song and the room gets loud again as voices rise between sets. You are silent and disassociating with everything around you, unsure if it's the buzz from the alcohol or your serotonin working overtime to calm you down.

“You ok?” Marlene asks.

“Yeah…”

Marlene prys. “You don’t look ok.”

It was obvious from that awkward moment earlier that she knew Joel. You wanted to spill and tell her everything and pick her brain, but your suspicions made you question where her loyalties may lie. You had never told her who your neighbor was and now you felt trapped and alone with this secret.

“I just need another drink.” You laugh and play it off coolly. “Gonna grab one at the bar, be right back.”

As you walk to the back of the room you take note of Tess still sitting at the table and talking to a few guys. It looks like they are familiar and catching up. Joel is standing at the crowded bar at the very end, mostly tucked away and probably how you missed seeing him sooner because you weren't looking for him. Against your better judgment you approach him.

You squeeze into the space next to him and try to keep a little distance from him, but your bare thigh rubs up against his leg as you step in and the person to your left pushes into you. He stays facing straight ahead and doesn’t acknowledge you, except to move his leg from its wide posture. His scowl works overtime to keep his composure. He takes a sip of his beer.

You hail the familiar bartender with your empty glass. He winks and goes to make you another. Drink three and he already has your order memorized and was probably hoping to get your number.

Joel stares him down as he walks away and you could have easily mistaken it for jealousy. The irony of it, as your harmless flirting was nothing compared to his potential relationship with your boss. You needed answers, whether or not Joel wanted to disavow you.

“You wanna tell me what the hell that was about?” Your voice is a little shaky, wavering through your anger and confusion.

“I owe you an explanation.” He nods, still staring off ahead.

You pause, waiting for him to say more, but he doesn’t. Your eyes bore into him and his ignoring you is making you fume more and more. You try to read him, and see the subtle changes as he gets more and more frustrated that you are not getting the hint to leave him alone.

“So… explain?” You push his chest, try to pry the information out of him. His jaw tenses. Glowering and annoyed. His calm facade being chiseled away by your incessant need for answers.

Joel looks at you with cold eyes. Sad eyes. Eyes you do not recognize. He recoils at your touch. Makes you feel like a dirty secret. He tips back his beer and downs the rest of the bottle.

“Can you please fucking say something?” You beg. You are annoyed at how he is acting. He was clearly frustrated by your being there and that anger was festering by the minute.

“This isn’t the time.” He says unphased by your request.

The bartender interrupts you to hand you your drink and gives Joel the side eye, no doubt noticing how prickly he was and how much your demeanor had changed from earlier.

“What are you staring at?” Joel snaps at the bartender. His intimidating tone was low but it was threatening. His misplaced anger was looking for any way to escape.

“Relax, bud.” He puts his hands up in a submissive gesture and backs off. He glances back over to you but you look away and don’t make eye contact with him again.

“She ain't’ interested.” He threatens and somehow makes himself look even bigger. The bartender nods with a knowing smile that might as well say ‘not worth the trouble’ as he grabs Joel’s empty beer bottle and moves on. He wasn’t interested enough to contest with Joel.

You hate how much it turns you on to see him get protective over you. His mixed signals were giving you whiplash. You suspect and even hope that his lashing out and acting this way is just a tactic to get you to leave the matter alone for now. It wasn’t going to work with you though. You were not afraid of him or intimidated.

His fingers curl over the counter and he flexes them, agitated. He taps his fingers in a rolling motion and pushes himself away from the bar with the heel of his hand.

“You should go home.” His words hurt and are spoken with finality through dark eyes that penetrate you. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“No.” Your brows furrow at the audacity. “I want to talk now.” You demand.

Joel ignores you and pushes past you to get to the back hallway. He makes you feel insignificant and like you are just an obstacle in his path to walk around. It makes you even more angry.

You tip back the bulk of your drink dangerously fast and follow him. There were so many people, no one was really paying attention to you and Joel, so why was he acting like this?

You stumble down the corridor to the bathrooms, instantly regretting your choices to drink so recklessly. It makes you feel gross and desperate that you have to chase him someplace so dark and secluded.

With his back to you he balls his hand into a fist and knocks on one of the bathroom doors with enough force to startle anyone in earshot. Someone inside yells that they need a minute.

He puts a hand on his hip and the other drags down his face as he paces and turns towards you. He knew you would follow. He fans his hand out in your direction, pleading with you to let this go.

“I said later.” His words sound tired from your persistence. He looks you up and down and you see something else in his eyes. Behind the anger, the hunger for you is still there.

“Joel.” Your anger starts to cool when you see how agitated he is. Afraid that you are just making everything worse. Maybe you should just leave this alone until later. You could be making a scene over nothing.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he speaks slowly and deliberately, trying to keep himself calm. You try to hold it back but you can’t stop the tears from welling up in your eyes. Impatiently he bangs on the door again and an angry yell returns, calling him an impatient prick.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.” You are not sure why you are the one defending yourself here. You feel the room spinning and reach to brace yourself on the wall before you stumble. The alcohol and the adrenaline of being afraid to lose Joel was just becoming too much.

Joel reaches out to you and grabs your wrist to steady you. He leads you a bit further down the hall, and just at the end is a small and dark alcove with storage boxes. You can still hear the loudness of Copper’s echoing through the hallway but at least it feels more private. Trashy, but discrete.

You back yourself against the wall, feeling overwhelmed by everything and your anger vanishing into nothing but hurt. Joel stands across from you with his arms crossed. He takes a deep breath.

“Listen. This ain’t got anything to do with you. Ok?” Now is your turn to respond with silence. You have a thousand questions but no words manage to come out, instead a tear drops down your face. You wipe it away quickly but he already noticed it.

“Sweetheart.” He closes the gap between you and holds your face in his hand, wiping his thumb over the wet trail on your cheek. You look up at him with glossy eyes and he looks pained to see you so upset. “Please don’t.”

You feel foolish crying given the real probability of infidelity. Still, you lean into his touch, craving the contact with him that he had been denying you. Soaking in his warmth and pushing the negative thoughts as far away as possible.

He presses up against you, pinning you against a stack of boxes. It is reserved but still so sensual. He pushes your hair behind your ear and combs his fingers through it, smelling your sweet scent mixing with his woodsy, pine cologne.

The heat from his cock feels so good against you, and you can feel him harden slightly when you push your hips into him. Even through tears your body can’t say no to Joel. His body towers over you and makes you feel calmer being in his clutches.

He sneaks a hand up the side of your leg and slips it under your dress. You feel his breath hot on your neck as he kisses you there. His scruff scrapes against the soft meat of your neck and makes you come undone. He presses his mouth into you, hedonic and greedy.

His thumb slides under the thin straps of your panties and he draws circles on your hip bone, dancing dangerously closer to your center. He doesn’t cross the threshold, and with restraint he slides his hand around to your hip over the top of your dress. He presses his forehead into yours and holds you there for a brief moment, relishing having you in his grasp.

As soon as the heated moment starts it fades and Joel takes a step back, holding you at arms length. With a desperation in his eyes, he speaks.

“Go home.” His words hurt. “Please. Go home.”

He turns and leaves you alone in the hallway, disappearing into the crowd. Discarding you like an unwanted problem. A mistake. Something to acknowledge only in the dark.

You feel absolutely blindsided and used and you don’t even know what is going on. You slide your back down the wall and curl your arms around your knees, hugging yourself. You have never felt more alone and abandoned. You hold yourself harder to keep back the tears.

Moments later you hear footsteps and a familiar voice rattles you back to earth. It’s Marlene, knocking on one of the bathroom doors asking if you are inside. You regain your composure and bring yourself to your feet and walk sheepishly towards her from the alcove. You adjust your dress and hair, both a little disrupted by Joel.

“There you are! Is everything ok? I’ve been looking for you.” You turn to face her and do your best to look composed and calm.

“Yeah I was just feeling my drink and had to get away for a minute.” You are a terrible liar.

“Uh huh...” She reaches her hand out and wipes some black makeup that still lingered on your cheek. “Don’t tell me you’re crying about that guy you’ve been seeing?” She tries to guess what could have you so upset. You fake a laugh and try to throw her off. She notices your messy hair. “Or did you makeout with that bartender that was hitting on you?” she asks excitedly.

“Nothing like that. I’m fine. Really.” You say with confidence but she is still skeptical. You take a few steps down the hallway. The words Joel begged of you before leaving you replay over and over.

“Hey, do you… know that guy?” You struggle to get his name out. “Joel?” She looks at you puzzled. Inquisitive. Amused at your question.

“Everyone knows Joel Miller.” She stares at you, her expression trying to hide some judgment but can’t resist. “Why?”

You don’t answer and just stare off blankly. You feel like a total idiot. A used trollop. She tries to read between the lines, assuming your drunk ass is crushing on him.

“Don’t get involved with Joel.” She warns and hooks her arm in yours and leads you back to the main room.

Your table had been scarfed up which was no surprise. There were so many people.

You are floating between being too drunk and carefree and on the verge of a mental breakdown. For now, the alcohol was keeping you afloat. This wasn’t the time or place to deal with whatever was going on with Joel and you were not in the right frame of mind to handle it.

You made up your mind. You were going to stay and try to salvage what was left of your night. You would stay clear of Joel. Why should he get to tell you what to do? You lose your footing and stumble but Marlene balances you.

“Ok… you need to drink water.” She mothers you and takes you by the shoulders to lead you back to the bar.

“Yes, mom.” You muster up a joke and take a deep breath.

Another half hour passes. You don’t see Joel but you don’t look for him either. You don’t want to see him or want him to see you. The water helps sober you up just slightly. The music is loud but soothing as it occupies your headspace. The current act was a man and woman duo singing something moody and playing guitar. They played a few songs and then the MC shared that they had just one more performer for tonight.

You lazily look at your phone and it’s so much later than you realized. You turn to ask Marlene if she is ready to go when you see him, walking towards the stage with a guitar slung on his back. Joel was the final performer? You watched him walk up to the stage with disbelief. He wanted you to go home so you wouldn’t see this? It felt forbidden to look and of course you needed to.

You had no idea he was the musical type. Realizing now you didn’t know much about him at all, apparently. The thought of that makes you feel sick.

You feel numb to everything around you. Maybe it was all just a bad dream. It had to be.

He takes his seat on a stool in front of the mic, propping up his guitar on his lap and strums a few chords. The audience is awakened. You hear people mumbling to their friends that they can’t believe Joel is playing again.

Apparently everyone but you.

You want to be angry. Upset that he was so deceptive to you and kept his life so secret. Dismissive about your desire to understand.

Your body betrays you, fluttering at the sight of him. The room is darkened and the light shining on him makes him look even more gorgeous, casting harsh shadows that accent his tight body. His silver streaks in his slicked hair catching the light and his broad frame defined perfectly in his well fitting shirt. His watch reflects the light as he positions his hand to cradle the neck of his guitar. His forearm flexes as he guides his hand over the strings. It makes you wet.

“This one’s…. for Tess.”

Your heart stops.

His voice wavers as he looks down to his guitar, avoiding eye contact with anyone. The room is deadly silent. He has everyone’s attention. You are certain your heartbeat is the loudest thing as you are filled with panic.

Did you hear that right?

He strums his guitar and a low and gravelly voice follows.

Love will abide

Take things in stride

He said… Tess?

Sounds like good advice

But there's no one at my side

You feel a pit in your stomach.

And time washes clean

Love's wounds unseen

He said Tess.

That's what someone told me

But I don't know what it means

'Cause I've done everything I know

To try and make you mine

The profound sadness in his voice hurts. It cuts you like a knife. His guttural but steady low singing moves you. You would never, but it makes you want to run up to him and hold him.

And I think I'm gonna love you

For a long, long time

You hate this. Being in this moment, trapped. It felt like listening to a private conversation. Still, you can’t look away.

Caught in my fears

Blinking back the tears

I can't say you hurt me

When you never let me near

The sharpness in his tone is notable and you see him clench his teeth at those words.

'Cause I've done everything I know

To try and make you mine

The pit in your stomach grows as your fears are being realized before your eyes.

And I think it's going to hurt me

For a long, long time

Joel was in love with her.

Wait for the day

You'll go away

Knowing that you warned me

Of the price I'd have to pay

You look over to where Tess was sitting earlier. She looks hurt and fragile, masked by anger. Not like anything you had seen before. You pity her. You pity yourself.

And life's full of flaws

Who knows the cause?

Living in the memory

Of a love that never was

Joel is hurting. Whatever their relationship was, he certainly wanted it to be different.

'Cause I've done everything I know

To try and change your mind

And you are just a toy for him to play with. You need to leave. You need to be anywhere but right here.

And I think I'm going to miss you

For a long, long time

Suddenly the room is spinning. You are going to be sick. The alcohol and anxiety inside you mix together and you feel like you can’t breathe.

'Cause I've done everything I know

To try and make you mine

And I think I'm gonna love you

Joel looks up and his eyes accidentally find yours for the briefest moment. An unintentional stare. He looks away and down at his guitar, no doubt outraged that you didn’t go home. That you saw him spill his heart and soul out to another woman.

For a long, long time.

Angry that you caught him cheating. The only truth you know.

The loudest silence follows as he strums the last chord. Then, the room erupts in applause and many people stand up to clap and cheer. Even the drunkest person could have watched that performance and felt his pain. You suspected few people realized it was so good because it was so honest.

Marlene looks over at you and can clearly see how ghostly and unwell you look. You shake your head and try to hold back the flood of tears welling up in your eyes.

“Can we… can we go? Please?”

“Yeah, of course.” Marlene puts an arm around you and helps you up. The tears start falling and you can’t stop it. You can’t hold back the flood of sobs and emotion leaving your body.

“Whoa… Whats wrong?” She puts her hand on your cheek and tries in vain to wipe the tears away. Looking extremely concerned and no doubt piecing things together.

You can’t even think properly. You gasp at the air to save you.

“I just need to get out of here.”

You glance up to the stage and Joel has already left it. Probably going to his lover or whatever the fuck that was all about. That sickness feeling surges back. You want to throw up. You want to disappear and erase every moment you had with Joel.

“Come on, I’ll take you home.”

To be continued...

A O 3 | M A S T E R L I S T | N O T I F I C A T I O N S

Comments / Reblogs are so incredibly appreciated 🧡

Thank you to @magpiepills for being my wonderful beta, ily 🧡

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@broken-paper-wings @elizabeth4th @fanficlover1414 @getitoutofmymindwrites @gintheginger

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#Joel miller #Joel miller fanfiction #Joel miller x reader #Joel miller smut #the last of us #Pedro pascal #Pedro pascal x reader #Joel miller x female reader #Joel miller x !female #pedro pascal fandom #joel miller tlou #arcanefox fics #the wolf you feed #fic: the wolf you feed #ppcu fandom #ppcu fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #Joel hole #angst

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kandlewick · 1 year ago

Text

i'll dry the villain's tears

t h e r o s e r e d t y r a n t ' s m o t h e r

you get reincarnated into a role that became the breaking point of the villain's story and you, be it an unwillingness to cause them harm or a desire to survive, must work hard to make sure they grow into a better (or at least safer) person.

You had died.

at least, you think you did.

It was hard to remember much.

Blinding lights, fading screams, it all felt so fuzzy and distant that you could hardly even remember your old face. The new one staring back at you was strange and foreign and perfect; it was almost like you were staring into the eyes of a doll. You pressed a well manicured nail to your cheek, feeling the soft skin give underneath your touch. So this is what she looked like. Bright red hair and piercing silver eyes, Riddle's mother made for an intimidating figure. You could only imagine how wicked she would look when angry despite her pretty looks.

You let out a soft sigh, leaned back against your chair, and attempted a smile at your reflection. The muscles around your cheeks creaked in protest at the attempt and gave you little more then a grimace.

"Not one for smiling, are you Mrs. Rosehearts?"

Well, whatever sickness that had overtaken the former Mrs. Rosehearts seemed to have passed and you no longer needed constant supervision from whoever Riddle had called for. Speaking of, where was Mr. Rosehearts? Surely her husband must've been worried sick once he had heard his wife had collapsed.

After a few moments of pondering, idly rummaging through drawers and inspecting every nook and cranny of what you assumed to be your new bedroom, you quickly discovered there was only a wardrobe for one. How strange. As you continued digging through your new and incredibly modest clothes, your hunt for clues was quickly interrupted by a sharp knock at your door. You dropped everything and let out a quiet shriek, feeling what felt like your heart quickly jumping in to your throat at the surprised new guest. Imwardly, you had to remind yourself that you were in fact, not snooping! This was your stuff now and could look through it all you liked. Quickly patting down your clothes and pinning back your frazzled hair, you attempted to compose yourself and cleared your throat, quietly acknowledging their presence.

"Uhm - yes! You may come in."

Whoever stood out your door seemed almost hesitant, waiting at the door long enough for the silence to slowly grow awkward, before the door let out a small click and they entered.

It was Riddle.

"I finished my lesson for the afternoon." Riddle spoke quietly, eyes never leaving the space behind your head, as if too nervous to even look at you, "If you would allow me, I'd like to take a small break to rest my eyes."

Here it was! Your moment! You had dreamed of this since the beginning and you could finally, finally make a difference and fix the broken relationship between him and his mother!! You eagerly turned towards him, feeling your skirt pick up in your excitement and ducked down, balancing your weight on the balls of your feet and lowering yourself down to his level.

"Actually, Riddle, how would you like it if we took a break together. I made us some tea!" You smiled, eyes crinkling in delight, "And then after that we-"

"No, thank you."

Eh.

What a quick response!!!!

Blinking past the surprise, you were startled to notice that Riddle had taken a few steps back, his eyebrows knitted together in what almost looked like confusion. You could feel the apprehension and barely disguised fear roll off of him in waves as he opened his mouth to continue.

"It's not time for a tea and I'd much rather get back to my studies as soon as possible.."

Yes, you supposed it was rather late in the evening for a tea time but it couldn't be that bad to take a small break to unwind after a tiring afternoon, surely! Bu then again, you realized, Riddle's mother always enforced a strict schedule. There was no time for snack breaks or play time, everything was chosen for him down to the very last millisecond of his day. Breaking this trend would not be an easy task. Mrs. Rosehearts made sure of that.

"Ah, you're right! Silly me..." You took this moment to reach out, intending to push back a stray hair from Riddle's face but he flinched. It was hardly noticeable and honestly, if you weren't down at his level and painfully aware of every twitch and fidget, you wouldn't have noticed but still, you felt your heart break a little more.

"Yes... It must be the fever." You sighed out, lowering your hand before slowly putting it back in your lap, "I must still feel tired after being in bed the past few days. Being stuck in my room must've made me a little mad."

Riddle made no effort to respond, only slowing raising his head. When his silver eyes met yours, you smiled and kept his gaze, "Would you do me a favor then, Riddle? I'm feeling terribly lonely and would like the company... however," You had to give him the option, "if you'd rather end your studying for the day and choose yourself what you'd like to do until your bedtime, you're more then welcome to."

As much as you wanted to quickly mend the relationship between the two of you, you knew you could not rush it. Years of abuse and tyranny do not go away with a single good deed and the more you tried to force it, the more you guessed he would push away.

Riddle paused and searched your eyes, looking for any signs of this being a test. He seemed almost hesitant to even ponder the choices before him as if he had never made his own decision before - with his mother's blessing no less - and wasn't eager to start now.

"I won't be upset, Riddle. You c-"

"I would like to have tea with you, please."

You mentally fist bumped the air, tears of success running down your face. Progress! This was progress, right? Willingly getting him to break his rigid schedule was already a huge undertaking but getting him to choose to spend time with you? You could practically hear the angels singing in your head.

Getting him to slowly and comfortably break his schedule was one thing but his diet? That was a whole other trauma to fight and you didn't know where to start. Unlike Riddle's mother, you weren't a doctor. Your knowledge of what was healthy and what was not and how to balance calories was never something you were taught past the very basics. Smugly, you figured she wasn't any good at it either so really, it could only get better.

It started with little things, replacing what kinds of ingredients you used and portions and the like and you spent many a nights on Magicam, researching food trends and advice from dieticians and other mothers. Anonymously, of course.

If Riddle noticed the change in his diet, he made no attempt to question you about it, probably enjoying whatever you were doing enough not to bring it up. You were his mother after all and although the dinner table was still quiet between the two of you, it was a more comfortable silence as if you were both too worried to break it. Watching him eat was also a treat. You had always thought Riddle was a pretty child, but to see sparks of life flicker behind his trained expression was a victory you always cherished. Sometimes it was small things, like him kicking his feet or the shock of trying a new taste. It was precious, watching him slap his palm to his face as he jumped in his chair, eyes practically tearing up at the taste of pepper of all things.

And then, one day, you decided that perhaps it was time. A strawberry tart.

You paced in your bedroom for days, practically digging holes into the floor as you plotted your next big move. This moment was perhaps the most important of all the other events that had happened in Riddle's life and you knew it was going to be a real big hurdle to cross.

"Riddle?"

He perked up slightly from his desk at the sound of your voice and turned to look at you. His eyes were brighter now and they no longer had the same fear they once had. His gaze could almost be described as affectionate.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to be out for awhile. not for too long mind, but I have something very important I need to do. I'm sure you don't mind if I leave you to yourself for a short while?" You gave him a sheepish smile as you made your way to the front door, your hand already reaching for the handle. As much as you wanted to do this and get it over with, you could still feel the nerves biting at your ankles.

Riddle nodded his head, his red hair practically bouncing with the movement, before returning to his studies while you closed the front door behind you, breath heavy in your throat. Days of planning were all coming together. You could feel the sweat building up and running down your neck as you took a few simple breathes to calm your racing heart.

Some might consider it obsessive but you had carefully studied That particular bakery and it's foot traffic to ensure that nobody else would be in the store to witness what was about to happen for the past two weeks. In disguise, you had watched and written down the hours there was a slow lull in visitors from out in the streets, careful not to attract any sort of attention. It's not like you were planning anything nefarious! It's just that... the thought of anyone witnessing the verbal smack down you were about to receive was almost too much. But you had to do this. For Riddle, for yourself, and because you really, really, really wanted to try one of Clover Bakery's sweets.

It was time.

"Welcome in! Welcome to Clover Bakery! I'll be right with you in a moment!" A feminine voice sounded like it was in the back as the door to the bakery slowly chimed behind you, as if it was the death knell, signaling your demise. You trained your breath, in and out, and wiped your sweaty palms on the back of your skirt, willing yourself to calm down. You had to be strong! Trey and both his parents deserved a proper apology, even if technically you weren't the one who offended them. You had to fix this mess and you couldn't do it half assed!

"Sorry about that! We just finished the new batch of - oh."

Trey's mother was in front of you.

Trey's Mother was in front of you.

"I..." Your heart felt like it was going to give out. "I've come to apologize."

That obviously is not what she was expecting and judging by the widening of her eyes and the tightening of her posture, she didn't seem entirely willing to accept it but she stood there and didn't seem unwilling to hear you out so in your haste, you tripped over your words in eagerness to continue.

"Please," You lowered your head and gaze, nearly buckling under the stress, "at least hear me out. What I did - to you, your husband, your son, to Riddle - It was unacceptable."

You gulped and began the part you had rehearsed in front of your mirror. This part, while not necessarily the truth, would make the most sense.

"When I couldn't find Riddle in the room where I left him and the window opened, I panicked. I had always been very strict with Riddle and perhaps that's where I erred, where he thought that the only choice he had to enjoy an inch of freedom was to sneak out while I was unaware, So, when I couldn't not find him and found him with strangers, people I had never met before and knew very little of, I panicked."

"But what I ended up doing," Something wet fell from your eyes, "I hurt him. I hurt Riddle. I - I think that's what snapped me out of whatever idiotic beliefs I had. He wouldn't talk to me, he couldn't even meet my eyes-"

"I understand,"

Blinking past the tears, you looked up, watching as Trey's mother let out a long and weary sigh, "I may not forgive you for what you did yet, I can see you obviously mean what you're saying."

"You can?"

"Look at you. You're shaking like a leaf, you look nothing like the woman that came screaming in here for her son. Whatever happened between then and now obviously changed things."

You watched as she ducked behind the counter and wrapped something up in a small container and gestured for you to open your hands.

"Here," She closed your hands around it, "It's a strawberry tart. Those were Riddle's favorite right? I'm sure you can help mend whatever happened with something like this. It's on the house. Just... next time Riddle wants to play, let him. My son has been beside himself with worry ever since."

You held the tart close to your chest like she had just handed you the most precious thing you've ever owned and nodded your head, your once formerly primed and proper hair falling down your shoulders in wave from your excitement, "Thank you! Thank you so much... I will do whatever I can now. I won't make the same mistake again."

"Go on," You smiled, "Open it."

As soon as you returned home, you eagerly called for Riddle to join you at the family table, nearly tripping over your heels in your excitement as you carefully placed the boxed strawberry tart down. Riddle watched your expression carefully, eyeing the concealed treat from the corner of his eye. As much as he's enjoyed the past few months, this was a huge step forwards. It was almost as if he was scared that what he thought was going to happen wouldn't. What if this was an elaborate scheme? What if this was a big final test and he failed? What if-

"It's ok, Riddle," You reassured him with a low voice, pushing the small box closer to him as his eyes snapped to meet yours, "It's something really good, I promise." With a nervous look, he nodded.

You could hear his barely contained sniffles as he slowly began untying the ribbon, stopping periodically to wipe at his eyes with his sleeve, before the box opened and in the center was

the most beautiful strawberry tart he has ever seen.

His small sniffles soon erupted into wails, high pitched and heart wrenching as he sat there in his chair, his hands still in the air as his little body was wracked with tears. You couldn't hold back your own crying as you brought Riddle's small frame to your chest and hugged him tightly as he cried and cried and cried in your arm. His little fingernails dug crescents into your skin as he kept tugging you closer and closer, unwilling for there to be an space between you and him.

"My darling, Riddle," You sniffled back a tear as you dug your face into his red hair, feeling him hiccup and sob as you did the same, "I'm sorry you had to wait so long."

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland reader #isekai #riddle rosehearts #congrats your riddles mama #twisted wonderland #platonic reader

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umlindsay · 1 year ago

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Taylor Swift Taylor! Swift! TAYLOR!! SWIFT!! Taylor SwIFT has declined to address THAT RUMOR. Global Superstar Taylor Swift!! (…and the winner is…) This is the firST TIME photographers have caught TSwift on film in S I X W E E K S. Taylor Swift TAYLORSWIFT. Grammys’ YOUNGEST evER WINner of AlbumOfTheYear, fearless. Is there *BAD*BLOOD*??? taylorswift isresponsible for me beingsuspended !!!! Taylor Swift is in ~hot water~ again. Taylor Swift is OnTopOfTheWorld! but hAS SHE DONE SOME SKETCHYTHINGS TOGET THERE?????? 13 celebs! who have issues! with taylorswift.. I feel like she was a *little*angry* NuMbEr13. There she is leaving a restaurant,,, she holds ~TOO MANY! G R U D G E S !!!!!~ why did Taylor swift—?? You can see her feet.. at the very bottom…… and can see her.. making her way into the car, I can understand trying to keep your relationship to yourself ~At The Beginning~ OR.. needing to take. some time. to work on YOUR CRAFTTTTttt…. but cOMEONNNN!! And Taylor?? Voluntarily? Bringing attention to herself?? with her donations..????? What SWIFT DID is *not! enough!* …..yeah. OhhKayyy Tay, whateVER you say !! I, I hate to say this……… buuuut I think tAyLoR sWiFt is learning a few ~L e s s o n s~ in life ;))) all this DRAMA is EXHAUSTING—Taylor should focus on making the rest of—reputation. Reputation. What it iiiis… Reputation. Taylor Swift’s new ~romance~ is heeeeating uuuup—REPutation. And what happened to The Squad??! Reputation. But at the same tiiime, I think both-REPUTATION. Taylor Swift takes the stand in court today..! Taylor Swift’s Reputation. REPUTATION.. REPUTATION..!! So instead we’ll talk about Taylor Swift’s.. reputation. REPUTATION. R E P U T A T I O N. So instead we’ll talk about Taylor Swift’s.. reputation. REPUTATION. T a y l o r Swift’s R e p u TATION. So instead we’ll talk about Taylor Swift’s ~repuTATION~ R!E!P!U!T!A!T!I!O!N!!!!!! ………..baby! let the games! begin!!!!!

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natti-ice · 9 months ago

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Steve Harrington NSFW Alphabet

Warnings: 18+ mdni, all NSFW Headcanons under the cut

Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

Clingy. He needs to hold you or be held after sex, he's never opposed to be little spoon.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Steve likes your back, he loves tracing every curve. He adores your shape.

What he likes about himself is his neck, it’s kind of odd but he likes the look of it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He loves when you cum on his face, face sitting is one of his favorite positions. He gets really giddy when he makes you cum, it’s very rewarding to him.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s a panty thief. No further explanation.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?)

He’s had a handful of sexual partners but he still learning. He loves when you tell him the things you like and the things he can do better to make you enjoy yourself more.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He has a few favorites, he like face sitting but he really loves you on top. He likes to hold your waist while you bounce on his dick.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

The first few times you have sex he’s pretty serious, once you get more comfortable with each other his playful side comes out more.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps it trimmed down there, not to the point were it’s bald but enough for some friction. He has a nicely groomed happy trail

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Steve is a romantic, he whispers sweet nothings in you ear. Anything to make you smile

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He’s not a very avid masturbator, he mostly only masturbates after watching a raunchy movie. Or whenever he’s trying to fall asleep and he thinks about the nights you’ve spent together.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He has a slight mommy kink. He loves being taken care of, being praised, he even slips a ‘mommy’ in there here and there.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Any and every where. He’ll fuck you in the car, in the park (when it’s empty of course), honestly anywhere you’re comfortable.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Steve could have sex any time of the day, he always ready. Teasing really works him up, you could tease him about anything and he wants to fuck you right there.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

Nothing would really turn him off necessarily, as long as he’s with you anything goes.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

A master with the tongue. Without fail, he will make you cum while eating you out every time. He prefers to give, making you feel good makes him feel good. Plus he loves the way you taste.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

This depends on his mood, if he’s had a bad day he can be pretty rough but if he’s happy he takes his time. The longer the better.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

There are a few quickies throughout the day especially in the beginning of the relationship. It doesn’t matter where you’re at, if you’re horny he’ll find a way.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Steve was hesitant at first to try new things, mainly because he was afraid he would be bad at it. He starts slow, introducing small kinks into the bedroom like spanking ease him into exploring.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He lasts pretty long, especially when he takes his time. He’s quite physically fit so he can go for a while, sex can last up to an hour with him. Orgasm after orgasm.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He’s down to use sex toys on you, dildos, vibrators, etc. Maybe with a bit of alcohol, he’d let you use a toy on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Steve the tease. He lives to make you giggle and squirm under his touch. He teases just enough to make you beg.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Steve’s more vocal during foreplay, dirty talk, telling you all the things he’s going to do to you. During the deed he’s a moaner, he’s not loud but he’ll moan in your ear sending tingles down your spine.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He was so nervous during your first time, he stuttered a lot and so focused on doing a good job. He started to relax when he saw you were really enjoying yourself.

X = X-ray (let's see what's going on under those clothes)

Well endowed. His dick is quite big, not scary big but you know it’ll definitely leave you satisfied.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Like I said, any time any where. There a part of him that’s always horny but he can control it pretty well.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

He’s pretty tuckered out after sex, he puts in a lot of energy while fucking. He falls a sleep pretty quickly and he sleeps very happy.

Tags: @ali-r3n @thatweirdgirlwholives @cancelledkaley @supersmexyandhot @arthurcerverogf @asimpforthe80s @yeaiamme2 @boa-hemian @thiccthighbby @jethro-mcgee-tony @limerence-17 @halflifejess @mandies24 @timbradfordisbae @songbirdofthenight

Join a tag list!

#natti’s 18+#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington smut #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x y/n smut #stranger things #stranger things smut

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gunnerfc · 9 months ago

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Grace Clinton NSFW Alphabet (18+, minors DNI!)

A: Aftercare

Grace has a bottle of water and bath or shower ready to go after she knows you both have calmed down

B: Body Part (their favorite body part of themselves and their partner)

Her favorite body part is her hands because she loves when you hold on to them during sex

Her favorite body part of yours is everything, she can’t decide on one thing and it changes every day

C: Cum (anything to do with cum)

The sight of you with cum on your mouth and chin leaves her breathless

D: Dirty Secret

Hearing you beg for the first time plays on repeat in her mind all the time and every time you have begged her to touch you since then never fails to boost her confidence and make her work even harder to make you feel good

E: Experience (Are they experienced? Do they know what they are doing?)

Experienced in the sense that she had sex before you but you both grew into things with each other and discovered new things together

F: Favorite Position

She doesn’t have a favorite because as long as she can have her hands on you and make you feel good or vice versa, she’s not complaining

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous?)

You both can be a bit giggly at times but as the night progresses, you get more serious

I: Intimacy (How intimate are they during the moment?)

So intimate, the first few times you had sex she would pause (at seemingly the worst times aka when you were so close to coming) to ask if you were okay

J: Jack off (Masturbation HC)

She does it when you two aren’t together and she needs a release and she doesn’t really care for it because it just doesn’t feel the same

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise kink, she thrives when you tell her how good she’s making you feel

L: Location (Favorite place to have sex)

Either of your apartments, she doesn’t want to risk someone potentially seeing the two of you, especially a teammate

M: Motivation (What turns them on?)

Hearing you beg, it really turns her on

N: No (Something they wouldn't do)

Nothing public or anything that could hurt either you even accidentally

O: Oral (Preference on giving or receiving)

Grace likes both equally but has her moments where she prefers to give

P: Pace (Fast & Rough? Slow & Sensual?)

Slow and sensual, she wants to truly make sure you are enjoying every second and doesn’t want to rush anything

Q: Quickie (Thoughts on quickies)

They’ve only happened a few times but she enjoys them because she just loves being able to make you feel good

R: Risk (Are they open to experimenting)

Only if you two talk about it and both agree on whatever it is and if neither of you enjoy it then it won’t happen again

S: Stamina (How many rounds)

You go for a few short rounds but sometimes there are longer rounds

T: Toys

A strap or vibrator gets used sometimes but both of you prefer to use either your mouths or fingers (or both)

U: Unfair (Do they like the tease)

You tease her more than she teases you but your teasing sounds more like praising

V: Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make)

Grace has been really loud a few times, mainly in the beginning when you first started having sex but as time has gone on, she’s learned to control her volume a bit

W: Wild Card (Random HC)

When you begged her to go faster and harder the first time, she was determined to do exactly what you asked and give you one of the best orgasms ever (and she did!)

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s a bit high, but she knows the two of you can’t spend all your free time having sex even though she wouldn’t be opposed to that

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

If you two have sex after a game or a long training day then she’ll fall asleep pretty quickly but If it’s an off day where you two haven’t done much, she’ll be up for a bit afterward

#woso x reader #engwnt x reader #grace clinton #grace clinton x reader

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sarahjohannson · 7 months ago

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ADDISON MONTGOMERY- NSF/W- ALPHABET

18+, wlw

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act) Addie is super soft after it. She takes a bath with you and cuddles woth you.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers) Her favorite body part of herself are her legs and your favorite body parts of hers are her hands.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it) She loves to Look in your eyes when you cum.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory) She has a box with nudes in her wardrobe E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing) She is way more experienced with men but also know what shes doing with women.

F= Favorite position She secretly loves it when you sit on her face.

G= Goofy (how serious are they) Shes not goofy but also not goofy.

H= Hair (grooming habits) In the beginning of the relationship she shaved everyday bit after you dated für a while she didnt really care anymore.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty) Depends on her and your mood. If it was a hard day is rough/dirty but its normally rather soft.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often) She sometimes jacks off when you are at work (to the nudes of you in her box)

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual) She loves dominace and roleplay

L= Location (where they like to get it on) Mostly at home. Her favorite place is the shower or the kitchen.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons) Making breakfast in just an oversized hoodie.

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do) Something where you get hurt and something without consens.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are) She is a gynecologist.( hope that answers the question)

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed) She lasts around 3 rounds.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard) She loves Quickies in the on-call-room.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things) Addie is always in for new things if its fine for both of you.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts) She can make you cum so quick but a normal round is about 45min long.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers) She loves toys and has around 10 different toys. She uses them on herself and on you.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves) She LOVES to tease. Aspecialy at work.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk) Shes pretty loud in bed so if you are in a hotel everybody knows what yoj are doing.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

X= X-ray (what’s down below in pants) Is category is mostly for men right??

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level) Everyday!

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after) She always waits until you are asleep.

#addison montgomery x reader #addison montgomery

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koushirouizumi · 14 days ago

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vimeo

Title: Where Will You Go, Chris? Type: A.M.V Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog / Sonic X (+Sega Sonic-verse Background!canon compliant) Song: Where Will You Go? Singer/Artist: Amy Lee / E v a n e s c e n c e Characters: Chris Thorndyke (Main); Sonic the Hedgehog (as Support); Sonic X Ensemble {Beginning mainly/Only} (as side {minimally appearing} Support) Dynamics: Sonic & Chris (as strong Friendship); Shadow & Maria (as relevant strong Friendship); {Briefly} Spoilers: until Series 1 Ending (Series 2 Not Included) AO3 Link: Here! {Please consider leaving a comment if you Enjoy!} (I’d love to hear your Thoughts!) Lyrics: Here!

Summary:

"I realize you're {A F R A I D}..." 'You P L A Y the R O L E-'

"BUT I, I KNOW who you REALLY ARE--" {-when we're alone}-- "I can see right through your E Y E S",

"{Don't} R e j e c t the Whole {W O R L D}"...

Sonic and Chris are featured major characters (with more Chris's Point of View); Sonic has a main role as a support to Chris (and helping explain Chris's involvement in the story). Chris's family and others from the ensemble; also very briefly appear/are referenced. Contains spoilers for the ending arc of Sonic X's 1st/original series (pre-Metarex Arc); much more based in the original version's characterization of Chris. (This is a pro-Chris & Sonic Supporting Chris + Chris's friendship{s} work.)

"Where Will You Go?" (C) E V A N E S E N C E

{Do Not Copy} {Do Not Repost} {Do Not Reproduce my Works Under Any Circumstances Without My Permission!} NO $$$ is being made off this Fanwork Sonic X © S E G A/T M S Entertainment

Notes: This is Old {10+ years old}. it’s my 6th "Sonic X" work out of multiple, closer from to the end of my "Sonic X" series of works. The footage used will reflect this, as it was made before widespread transition into H.D. Footages. Please be understanding. [There may be intent for me to remake it someday!]

-This video’s embed may randomly not display at times, Showing like it’s “down”, but it’s not at this time! {It usually happens late at night[s] or seemingly when the site is experiencing very high traffic} If that happens, please consider watching at another direct link here!}

#chris thorndyke #sonic and chris #anxious chris thorndyke #depressed chris thorndyke #nd chris thorndyke #amv: where will you go #originally created: pre 2011 #chai sth #chai sonic x #chai amvs #chai sonic #chai old amvs #chai old fanworks #chai chris #chai maria #chai shadow #sonic the hedgehog #sonic x #sonic x: amv #sonic: amv #s: where will you go #a: amy lee #sonic supporting chris #shadow supporting chris #chris the runaway #(I feel VERY STRONGLY that Chris was Major F*cking Chronic Depressed ENTIRE series but ESPECIALLY post Ep38+SHADOWs death)#({Shadows more Support from Afar here +w bit of Maria} but difference being {depressed state} was TREATABLE while Chris Being Aut!=FOR LIFE #({NOW TO TRY AND SEE IF THIS ONE EVEN *DISPLAYS PROPER* My Other Ev@nescence one Already Had b ROKEN E m b e d--)#({Q U A L I T Y} on beginning got **REALLY s HOT** but this might be easier to r EMAKE... M A Y B E... {Happy New G A M E Release})#({WATCH S O N I C X IN J P N S U B'D ITS SO MUCH BETTER---} I Still Love Some Timings I Did Here ESP the end m AN)

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ratedfleur · 1 year ago

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ricky nsfw a-z

request? yes! by like three anons but two were un-named 🤲

a - aftercare -> his definition of aftercare is massaging the parts of you that are sore, especially your waist and lower back. just expect naughty hands here and there though.

b - blowjobs -> basic but he likes it when you’re both on the couch, just lounging around not until your naughty hands start rubbing his crotch. and et voila, you’re on your knees for as long as ricky likes.

c - cum -> ricky loves it in your mouth or simply just on your skin. if you’re on your knees, he’d make you stick your tongue out as he cums, painting your upper body with specks of cum.

d - dominance -> you both are switches but he leans more towards the sub side, though he could dom too but his sub side overpowers that.

e - experience -> you both had no experience whatsoever, simply just trying out something new every now and then especially in the beginning of your relationship.

f - fuck buddies -> it’s a no but if you / him are really interested, then it’s worth a shot.

g - gagging -> he does it subconsciously when he’s getting blown, he just bucks his hips upwards, not meaning to do so.

h - hickeys -> you love doing it on the insides of his thighs, only available for you to see when you jerk or suck him off.

i - intimacy -> he’s not afraid to get intimate even in public because ricky is leaning on the braver side.

j - jerk offs -> loves it when he’s busy trying to accomplish some type of work but he’s just getting distracted with your hand that fondled his balls as you jerked him off.

k - kinks -> both: dacryphilia, praise kink, acarophilia / scratching, accidental stimulation

l - locations -> meeting rooms, hallways, couch!, over tables.

m - make outs -> loves it when you / him are in the middle of getting dressed, still slightly undressed when one gets pushed to the wall or dresser when you make out.

n - no’s -> ricky’s no are immediately taken into account, everything you’re doing will be put into a halt and instead you’d take care of ricky.

o - orgasms -> ricky’s orgasms are really intense no matter how much stimuli he is receiving, he WILL cum a lot.

p - positions -> cowgirl, non penetrative missionary, woman on top, grinding missionary.

q - quickies -> he loves it when he knows he has a meeting coming up in 30-25 minutes, he loves the thrill of nearly missing the meeting but ends up going with a mess in his boxers.

r - relationship -> out of the bedroom, ricky is indeed true to his name “lovelicky”, he’s so lovey dovey with you and you love babying him too.

s - submission -> both switches but ricky is more on the sub leaning side, but every now and then, you’d sub drop too.

t - (sex) toys - phone controlled vibrators, double sided strap ons, egg fleshlight

u - (can’t think of any so..) -> free space!

v - virginity -> most likely he would’ve lost his with yours, letting you take the reigns when he’s a little clueless about things.

w - wild card (from the writer) -> what ricky wants to try but doesn’t say so is trying to use or buy a double ended dildo, curious to see how it feels whilst in a scissor position with you.

x - x-ray vision -> .. no x-ray vision whatsoever, but he will go dumb when he sees his favorite plug on you.

y - (can’t think of any so..) -> free space!

z - zzz -> he will almost immediately doze off when he cums, feeling even drowsier when you wipe him down with a wet cloth.

#mikha’s works.#zb1 #zerobaseone #zb1 smut #zb1 imagines #zb1 scenarios #zb1 hard hours #zb1 x reader #ricky x reader #ricky smut #ricky imagines

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vintagevixyxol · 8 months ago

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The old language: the alphabet and some patterns

from the books Dark Rise by C.S.Pacat

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The old world holds many attractions for the readers: its mysterious history, culture, characters and language. There are inscriptions and phrases in old language in the books. At first glance, they look scary and inexplicable. Nevertheless, at second glance, the language opens up. In this analysis, I hope to show that the old language is amazing and share the delight I had researching it.

First of all, disclaimer. I am not a true linguist and, moreover, not Kettering, but a person who loves to find out patterns and tries to explain them. This article is just my theory, hypothesis and my point of view. It can be different from the canon.

There were phrases in the old language and their translations in the first edition of the Dark Rise. They inspired me to reconstruct the old language alphabet and to start my research. The inscriptions in the Dark Heir, the second book, proved the alphabet to be correct.

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The alphabet

As I have already mentioned, the alphabet is based on the translations of the old language in the first edition. I will use one phrase as an example to explain a deciphering algorithm. As I have applied the same algorithm to all inscriptions, I will only mention other phrases in the old language to show the letters they contributes to the alphabet.

The phrases from the Dark Rise: Decoding the alphabet

Step 1: selecting similar letters

Here is the phrase “Rassalon the first lion”.

There are two S in “RaSSalon”; there is also S in “firSt”

Double S is between two A

The first word begins with R, and R is also present in“fiRst”

L — “Lion”

O —“liOn”

N — “lioN”

“...the First Lion”

T — in “The” and “firsT”

i — in “first” and “lion”

!(why “i” is small I am going to explain later)!

Step 2: non-repeating letters

New letters: H, e (!) and F.

Other phrases

He is coming (Dark Rise, chapter 11)

New letters: C, M, G

I cannot return when I am called to fight So I will have a child (Dark Rise, chapter 2)

New letters: U, W, D, V, I(!)

I and i are different. In my opinion, it might be because “I” is a pronoun.

Enter only those who can (Dark Rise, chapter 15)

New lettres: Y, E

E and e are different. Perhaps, it is because “E” is in the beginning of the word “Enter”.

The horn all seek and never find (Dark Rise, chapter 15)

The new letter: K

Note: The letter design in the figures is a little different from the original design due to qualities issues.

The phrases from the Dark Heir: Proving the alphabet relevance

There are also inscriptions in the Dark Heir. If I use the same strategy here, it does, here are the proofs.

The first proof

One of the inscriptions is the name Undahar. Names are not translated. All letters in Undahar match the letters of my alphabet except U. It turns out to be V in the previous inscriptions, so I will write two variants U/V because I am not sure which one is correct.

The Eclipse/Finem Solis (Dark Heir, chapter 26)

The second proof

Here is the phrase: “He is coming.”

(Dark Heir, chapter 2)

Although there is one unknown letter, we can identify it by using the similar phrase:

He is fighting — Ar ventas

He is coming — *r uentas/ventas

The new letter is A. I think this A is different from the regular A because it is the first letter of a pronoun. Pronouns start with capital letters to avoid confusion with other words that include “ar”.

The result: alphabet

Of course, I admit the possibility that not all letters comply with the original alphabet as it is in the U/V case.

Issues in deciphering

The same phrases in the old language are written differently in the Dark Rise and the Dark Heir. I do not know whether it is due to errors in the first two editions or it means something else.

He is coming, Dark Rise (chapter 11), edition 2021

He is coming, Dark Rise (chapter 11) edition 2022

He is coming, Dark Heir (chapter 2)

The past cries out, but the present cannot hear, Dark Heir (chapter 2)

Only a Steward may enter, Dark Heir (chapter 37)

Dark Rise (chapters 2, 10, 11, 15), edition 2021

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The structure of the language

There is more to the old language than the inscriptions. Here are my thoughts on the other aspects of the old language. The old language is likely to be the parent language to all languages in the books, the language from which modern languages have derived. The old language has similarities to Latin and Sanskrit, borrowings from Sindarin, Quenya and some unidentified languages.

Vocabulary

Analyzing new information, I have found patterns that helped me to identify word classes. The word classes of the old language are shown in the table below.

Data summary sheets

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Nouns and names

Most nouns end with “ar”, but there are two nouns that end with “or/er”. The pattern is pretty apparent, so I am going to discuss only the nouns that do not fit the pattern.

Aladharet and adharet

My suggestions about meanings and forms of the word “adharet” are based on this dialog:

‘He said, ‘I am not aladharet.’ <...> ‘I cannot do magic,’ he said. ‘I have never trained with the’ – there was no other word for it – ‘adharet.’ <...> ‘I only know what I have seen, watching the adharet cast spells as I fought to protect them.’ (Dark heir, chapter 38).

There are two variants of the word: aladharet is singular and adharet is plural. Perhaps, “al” is the marker of a singular form, I would no more touch on single/plural forms because we do not have enough information.

The closest meaning from the context is a wizard /enchanter. This noun is interesting because “ar” is in the middle of the word. I think it is a verbal noun (a noun derived from a verb), such as spell – speller, enchant – enchanter.

Kishtar

According to the book, “Vara kishtar” is a shadow hound. “Kishtar” is highly likely to mean a hound or hounds. (Chapter 21)

The root “Kisht” means field, sown-field, tillage, cultivation, (at chess) check in Sanskrit. Of course, the meaning of the word in the old language is different, but it is still quite an interesting coincidence.

Similarities to Latin

There are some Latin names in the books like “Finem Solis”. Besides, some words in the old language are very similar to Latin (see the examples below).

“Callax Reigor” (The Cup of Kings) (Chapter 46)

“Callax” reminds Latin “Calix” (the Cup).

Reigor (Kings)

The root “reig” resembles the Latin root “reg” in “regio,-are”, “regium” (to rule/ royal).

Valdithar

English translation is “dauntless”, it is the name of Sancean`s horse. It has the ending “ar”, probably, because this adjective plays a role of a noun as abstract adjectives can be nouns in English. Synonyms of the “dauntless” are valorous, valiant. They derived from the Latin word “valens” – strong, powerful. This meaning of “val” seems to be suitable for Valdithar as well.

Similarities to Tolkien`s languages: Sindarin and Quenya

As some readers know, C.S.Pacat is a big fan of the J.R.Tolkien, so I decided to compare Tolkien`s languages with the old language and found out some borrowings from them. Several names look like Elvish words in which some letters are altered.

The ending “ion” is typical to Elvish.

Anharion

He is the Light’s greatest fighter who served the Sun King. That name consists of two parts: “Anar” is the Sun and “ion” is a son in Elvish. The sound “h” is pronounced with exhalation, so it might be omitted. Anharion means the son of the Sun in this case. In addition, the name was given to him by the Light side (the Sun King) and it is not his true name.

Ekthalion/thalion

Ekthalion is the Sword of the Champion.

Although “Fermaran, katara thalion” (Dark Heir, chapter 29) does not have a translation, “thalion” is a hero/a dauntless man in Sindarin. In my opinion, the coincidence is not an accident. “Thalion” is the part of the Sword`s name and the meaning seems relevant in context of the books.

Moreover, Ecthelion`s fate in the Silmarillion is quite similar to the fate of the Sword. Ecthelion slayed Gothmog, Lord of Balrogs, at the cost his life. The Sword`s fate is described in the book as follows:

…As a weapon to kill the Dark King. It’s said that a great Champion of the Light rode out with it to fight him <…> but could do no more than draw a single drop of the Dark King’s blood. That’s all it took to corrupt the Blade… (Dark Rise, chapter 13).

The name Ecthelion had its own evolution: its Qenya cognate was Ektelion.

Another thing

Veredun

One of the characters mentioned this name in the following dialog:

‘This isn’t my first time at sea.’ Visander <…>. ‘Atlantic? Pacific?’ ‘The Veredun,’ said Visander. He looked out at the night expanse of black water. This did not feel like the Veredun, or like any sea he had known (Dark Heir, chapter 34).

Names are not translated, but I wanted to know more about this old world sea/ocean. There is no word which is exactly the same in any language relevant to my research, but there are analogs to its parts.

Vere/verus is “truth” in Latin

Dun is “dark/deep/gray/gloomy” in English

Dun is “West” in Sindarin

My translation is “The deep truth” or “The dark truth” or “The West truth”, but I do not pretend to know the truth.

Verbs

All verbs that we know end with “as”.

Aragas

Aragas means “open” in the old language. I have not found any Latin roots. However, separate parts of this word exist in Sindarin: “ara” is “royal” and “gas” means a hole/gap/opening. Aragas is used for opening gates that connected the Kingdoms, for opening the oubliette under the Sun King`s throne and in the metaphor of opening the door of the Dark King`s magic. All these cases are associated with something “royal” and “opening”. I might have gone a bit too far here and read too much into it.

Ar ventas

Ar ventas – He is fighting (The translation from the text, Dark Heir, chapters 27, 29)

Ar uentas/ventas – He is coming (The translation of the inscription, Dark Heir, chapter 2)

There is a possibility that these verbs are borrowed from Latin. The root of the word “uent” is the same as in the Latin verb “uenio/venio” (to come). Thus the ending “as” indicates a tense and a person (is coming). My guess is that V and U are interchangeable in Latin. Therefore, “ventas” means “is coming” and “is fighting” at the same time. I think “uentas” is right, because U turns into V.

Vala!

One of the characters used this word in the following dialog:

With a tug of her horse’s mane, she [Visander] said something that sounded like Vala!, and they burst out of the stable doors (Dark Heir, chapter 21).

I think it is the command “walk/run” for a horse and the verb could be in the imperative mood. In my opinion, there is a parallel to Latin. Singular imperatives are formed by removing the ending “re” from verb roots, for example, monstra̅re (to show) – monstra (show). Nevertheless, “Vala!” could be another command, e.g. “gallop/forward/ahead”.

Adjectives

I think the ending “ra” indicates adjectives. Valdithar looks like an exception, but I think it is not an exception because it is a noun (see the section about nouns).

Vara

The translation of “Vara kishtar” given in the books is “a shadow hound” (Dark Heir, chapter 21).

It also means “soiled” and “dirty” in Quenya. As far as we know, “Vara kishtar” is a creature of the Dark side, and all shadow creatures could be “soiled” in the Light side`s opinion. By the way, there is the Sanskrit word “vara” that means “the best, excellent, the eldest”. The meaning is opposite to the meaning in the old language, but the Dark side could use the word differently.

Katara

“Fermaran, katara thalion”(Dark Heir, chapter 29).

Katara ought to be an adjective because it ends with “ra” and because of its position in the sentence (before a noun). The text does not give a translation, so I decided to consult dictionaries.

Latin and both Elvish languages did not help, but Sanskrit has the adjective “katara”. It has several meanings:

Which (of the two)

Mean, poor, miserable

Timid, shy/cowardly, cowardly/fearful

I have never mentioned Greek before, but it also contains “katara”, but as a noun: κατάρα is a curse or a calamity/disaster.

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Other observations

I noticed other patterns as well, but I need more examples to confirm them.

Structure of sentences

Like in English, a subject goes before a predicate:

Ar ventas – He is fighting

Ar uentas – He is coming

An adjective precedes a noun:

Vara kishtar – a shadow hound

Katara thalion – a shy hero (?)

My own hypothesis

Old language adjectives agree with nouns in gender, case and number.

There is evidence that verbs conjugate and have different tenses. So far I managed to identify only one verb form (continuous, third person, singular). I suppose that the inscriptions contain other verbs as English translations provide other verb forms including modal verbs, various tenses and person.

The reconstructed translation

Only one phrase from the Dark Heir has no translation: “Fermaran, katara thalion” (Dark Heir, chapter 29). We know the hypothetical meanings of the words from the analysis, so the translation might be reconstructed.

Fermaran

Ar ventas fermaran (Chapter 27)

Ar ventas, fermaran (Chapter 29)

In this case, “fermaran" is not used to address someone because there is a variant without a comma. Catalan has the verb “fermar”. It means “to stop”. The form “fermaran” is “they will stop” in indicative future, plural, third.

The reconstructed phrase goes as: “They will stop, mean/timid/poor hero”. It can fit in the context but it is still pretty questionable.

Inscriptions

Unfortunately, I have not achieved my goal to identify words in the inscriptions from the Dark Heir. As I mentioned there is not enough data. For example, the words we know from the translations such as the adverb “only”, the negation “cannot”, the modal verb “may” and the English phrase verb “cries out” remain unidentified. These inscriptions are still the Phaistos disc:

The past cries out, but the present cannot hear (Dark heir, chapter 2)

Only a Steward may enter (Dark heir, chapter 37)

Dark Rise paper editions 2021-2022

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The conclusion

Roots of the old language lie in Latin, Sanscrit, Sindarin/Quenya and, perhaps, something else. Four Kingdoms, four language families: Latin for the Sun/Undahar, Sanskrit for the Serpent or the home of the Lions, Elvish or unknown one for the Tower or the Rose.

I hope the third book will provide new data that will allow me to decode all inscriptions and get more profound understanding of the old language. Meanwhile, I am going to entertain myself with guesses, theories and attempts to decode the inscriptions.

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Acknowledgements

I would like to express my thanks to my aunt for being my editor, for all help and discussions about the old language, to my sister for all figures and to my friends from Undahar for the support and help! Thank you all very much!

All information is from the Dark Rise, the Dark Heir and dictionaries: Latin, Sanskrit, Sindarin and Quenya.

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The article also was written for the C.S.Pacat fanbook "Undahar" made by people from the discord server Undahar.

Please, ask about permission and credit me if you want to share the analysis.

#c s pacat #cs pacat #dark rise #dark heir #old world language #books

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