#A jackass subject change and a considerable amount of boasting

[tswwwit]

Mr. Pines, is it true that mentally unstable men are better in bed? 🎤🎤🎤

Before Dipper can respond, Bill seizes the microphone to immediately declare all humans subpar in bed, no matter how fun their brains are! Unless the interviewer has some personal experience. Go on. Tell the world about it. 🎤

Dipper has to wrestle Bill out of the interview before he makes someone cry, or starts going on about brain-meltingly weird forms of demonic intercourse. Some of which literally involve brains melting.

[kashmiresims]

Radio Edit

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Cypress Leaned back into his chair and grinned. He had created the perfect playlist. A good mix of local artists and indie bands that all sounded superb and when ordered together would be a listening experience to remember. He'd basically vetted every song before determining to add it to the playlist. His shift at the SSU radio station was already underway and the third song in the queue was playing—one with an excellent balance of guitar-to-drum ratio and growing in popularity among the listeners.

Finding songs, and researching music was much more appealing than actual coursework He'd probably spent more time in the last two days finding and ordering songs for his radio gig than actual studying. He was lucky the station director let him pick his own music to play.

It seemed he had his whole life to prepare for this. He and Orion had always spent hours combing through the Orion's father's old record collection they had found in the attic when they were kids. They played each one, carefully listening to the music and discussing it afterward over the years. His brain must have cataloged at least 200 albums and all their songs.  

He wasn't the type of radio DJ to do a lot of talking. It annoyed him when radio stations played too many ads or had inane talking heads fill up the air space. The reason he listened to the radio was for the music and so tried to limit the amount of time his voice was on the air.

However, sometimes the lack of speaking caused issue too. If he let a series of songs play without announcing to the listeners what they were, he'd end up getting a few calls to the station of people asking what had just played. He was also required to remind listeners which radio station they were listening to at least once per hour.

The song was ending, so he rolled his chair over to the soundboard to fade the music out, turned on the microphone and said, "That was The Perishers singing 'Sway' here on KRLM, 86.5 the Llama—Kashmire's source for college and alternative rock. Next up is Abra Moore with 'Big Sky'."

Cypress raised the volume of the music system and turned off his microphone.

He heard a knock on the door to the studio and gave a slight jump. His shift was in the evening, so no others were usually in the building at that time except for the barista on the first floor that worked the building's small coffee stop. During the day the director was usually in the office across the hall, and mass communications lectures were held on the first floor.                                            

Cypress, pulled his headphones off and leaned back in his chair, "Come in."

To his slight surprise, Orion was the one who appeared from behind the door. He had thought Orion was hanging out with Cain again, but obviously, he wasn’t by his sudden appearance.

"Hey, do you take requests?" Orion asked with a smile and shouldered open the door.

"Well yeah, but I put together a really good playlist tonight....so you're favorite songs are probably already on there," Cypress grinned and motioned Orion into the studio. It wasn't like the director was there to complain about non-station employees hanging around. Orion had dropped by a few times before as well, so it wasn’t an unusual occurrence.

"Oh yeah? Let's see it," Orion said and leaned over the computer to see what was in the queue. He scanned the list of songs set to play over the next two hours and then focused back to Cypress, "You really did cover everything."

Orion usually listened to Cypress’s radio shows and offered song suggestions after each. It looked like there were none this time around. Cypress nodded and took a moment to stand as he'd been sitting for awhile.

"What are you doing here, man? I thought you were hanging with Cain tonight?"

Orion leaned against the door and crossed his arms, "He had other things he needed to take care of."

Cypress knew Orion was vastly disappointed, evident by his fading grin. Cain Nova was the flakiest fuck in the world. He folded his arms and frowned.

"I probably shouldn't have told you that," Orion mumbled.

"Why?" Cypress knotted his brows.

"I know you don't like him," Orion mumbled.

"Can’t you see why?" Cypress couldn't help but to raise his voice, "He has no respect or consideration for your time or feelings, he's horrible at communicating, and because of that, your anxiety goes into overdrive. You seem miserable even when he finally shows up after leaving with no explanation for weeks."

Orion looked at the ground, "You usually don't like talking about him, so I never get to tell you about the good things he does."

Cypress bit his tongue and looked at the ceiling. He was supremely frustrated. He doubted there were many good things about Cain Nova from his experience around the guy.

"Whatever, man. It's your life. I'm not going to tell you who you should and shouldn't be with but I think Cain is a raging jackass and that you could do a lot better."

Abra Moore's song was about to end, but the system would auto-play the next song.

Orion looked struck though didn't say anything more on the subject. Cypress just couldn't understand how Orion felt about Cain—Cypress had never been attracted to anyone before in such a way. Now that Cypress had come out and admitted his dislike, Orion didn't know how to reconcile that his best friend and romantic interest were never going to get along and if he hadn't taken a Tranquilicis that day, he knew he would have felt anxious about it.

He glanced over to the small recording studio on the other side of the glass windows and saw a guitar.

"Do you mind if I play you a song I've been writing?"

"Not at all," Cypress was thankful they had changed subjects, "Just go out into the hall and the door to the recording studio should be unlocked."

Orion’s grin returned and he left the room to do so.

Cypress had to turn on the connecting microphone so he could hear what Orion would sing, but made sure that the playlist still was what was currently airing.

Orion adjusted the microphone, then picked up the studio guitar and took a seat on the tall chair and then strummed the strings. He adjusted the knobs to tune at least two.

"Can you hear me?" He asked, and his voice was clear through to the tech studio where Cypress sat.

Cypress nodded, giving him a thumbs up.

Orion began to play. Orion knew how to handle just about every instrument he came across—his family boasted a legacy of musicians, some had even had extraordinary success. Cypress knew that if Orion didn't have such bad anxiety he could probably find the same amount on the account of being so damn talented.

His song was a pleasant acoustic tune. Orion was a decent singer but his talents lay in writing the musical portions. In fact, he’d always been better at expressing himself through music than regular words. He'd written countless drum solos for Cypress to try over the years and Cypress loved playing them.

Cypress had been concentrating so hard on how the music sounded that he had forgotten to pay attention to the lyrics Orion was signing.

"I wish you would let me love you but it doesn't seem to be..."

Was...was this something he wrote because of Cain?

Cypress was momentarily shocked and then restrained himself from rolling his eyes. How could anyone love Cain? Orion deserved such better treatment, someone who would at the very least would own up to being his boyfriend. But Orion felt strong and deeply for people, it was something he always did. He got attached and it was hard for him to let go.  

"...you know how I love you yet your heart is closed to me"

He sat for a few more seconds playing the guitar and Cypress only felt a mix of anger and sadness on behalf of Orion. The song had heart, though. It seemed his talent was best used in the midst of suffering. In Cypress's opinion, it shouldn't be hidden.

"I never knew what love was until I met you. So thank you for helping me discover what I felt was true.”

The current song playing over the radio waves had just ended and Cypress switched on the live button that re-directed the airtime to pick up the music studio’s microphone.

Orion sang a bit more, the song had multiple verses and a chorus, followed by a bridge and a repeat of the chorus. Once Orion finished up his tune,  Cypress quickly flipped the live switch back to the playlist.

"How did you like it?" Orion asked, seeming eager to know.

"It has some solid harmony," Cypress pushed the talk button which let his voice be heard in the music studio. He wasn’t going to make any more comments about Cain and how Cain didn’t deserve a song written about him.

"Dude! I heard Orion on the radio and it gave me an idea!" The door to the tech studio flung open and Cypress swiveled around in utmost surprise. Nick stood there seeming out of breath like he had run all the way to the station from the house. To be fair it was only three blocks away and Nick played soccer all throughout high school so he was a fast runner.

Orion couldn't hear anything since he was in the other room and the button wasn't pushed. He waved at Nick through the window and set down the guitar.

Cypress was still stricken by Nick's sudden, loud entrance and had trouble finding his voice. A moment later the door opened again and Orion popped in. It was such a good thing that the station director was not in during the evening shift to chide Cypress for all the outsiders hanging around.

"Hey Nick, what's up?" Orion asked.

"What if we start the band up again?"

They had been in a band for a few years during high school called 'Incarcerated Heart'. Mostly, it was Orion and Cypress's way of being creative and furthering their interest in music. For Nick, the band was a way he envisioned to pick up girls. They didn't have time to play anymore after entering college because Nick's free time had been wrapped up in the Greek Society.

But now that he had left it and his fraternity, his free time consisted of moving into his new room upstairs or job hunting so he could start helping pay for rent to be able to live in that new room. He’d officially stopped being a house hobo. 

"We could make some good simoleons playing around Scandalica City," Nick added in lieu of the stunned silence from his friends.

Cypress and Orion exchanged a look. Playing again sounded great, but Cypress knew his best friend wasn't the best live performer.

"That sounds awesome," Orion smiled, "We should do it. I've been writing new music."

"Yeah I know," Nick laughed.

Orion gave him a confused look but before he could ask how Nick had known, Cypress cut in, "What about your anxiety? The last time we played you choked mid-song."

Orion waved it off nonchalantly, "Don't worry about it. I got it covered and am good to go."

Nick smiled wider and proclaimed that was awesome but Cypress was a little more concerned at the glib response. Nick started chattering about some venues he could see about booking with and Orion was nodding enthusiastically. Nick woke up the computer on the other desk to get some contact information pulled up from his emails.  

The phone line started ringing and Cypress sighed, knowing it had been awhile since he had given any indication of what was playing on air.

"Hi, what was that song playing a few minutes ago with the guitar?" The person calling asked.

Cypress turned and interrupted Orion and Nick's planning, "Hey dude, what is the name of that song you were singing?"

"Uh...didn't give it a name yet," Orion looked over to him curiously and seemed to blush a bit.

"It's called, 'In love with a Raging Jackass'," Cypress answered and then hung up.  

Orion's eyes widened in horror, "You put me on live air when I was singing?”

"It was a good song—so I aired it."

Orion looked betrayed but before either of them could get into it, they were startled by Nick's sudden, uncharacteristic cursing that rang through the tiny room.

They looked at him and he was standing, hunched over the computer with an angry look of disbelief.

"What's wrong?" Orion asked.

Nick stood straight and then a step backward from the computer.

He knew something was going to happen, that his father was going to make him miserable for his insolence, just not this.

"He's revoked all tuition he paid for the semester," Nick answered still with an air of anger.

The university office of financial records informed him that if he didn't come up with the money by the next week, he would have to leave Sim State.

Getting the band back together wouldn't be enough to fund tuition and rent at this rate.Maybe it was about time to put that machine in Armscor Warehouse to good use.