#A few knew of the franchise and its story and so enjoyed the movie

[boopjuice]

I stayed off the Internet for two days so I could see the FNaF movie unspoiled and holy mother of pearl, it was amazing! It was everything I was hoping for as a FNaF movie. I've seen it twice, now, the first with friends in light cosplay and the second with my younger brother. He and I both love the story of FNaF, and seeing him light up and get excited about the movie made me just so happy. It was a great way to end my weekend visit home from college

[saxandviolins77]

IIRC in your review of TF One you said it was a "good movie" but a lot of what you described made it sound focus-tested into oblivion and generic? And I know I thought the movie was pretty nonsensical and hypocritical and had many issues with how it handled the characters, so I'm really curious about in more detail what led to your ultimate take? I know you described how it was very focused and stuff but like, a movie that has a focus but is focused on something that doesn't make any sense isn't necessarily good, especially if the theme has problems. I'm curious since your review you named a lot of specifics and I feel like my opinion that it was a bad kids' movie seems really rare! -arceespinkgun

Hey! Thanks for the ask! I'll try to make my stance more clear on the TF: ONE topic.

Well, focused on telling a riveting story with the characters and universe it certainly was not.

Focused on making revenue? Definitely, but every movie is like that, I'm more interested in the hows.

You see, this movie was written backward. As in, they already knew where the characters needed to be and who they needed to turn into.

Why was Orion considered worthy of the Matrix? Because he needs to be.

Why did D-16 go from a meek rule-abiding guy to a violent "kill everyone tyrant" in the span of a day? Because he needs to be.

The "high-guard" stuff? Just a very weak excuse for them to shove the already-built Decepticon army into a fight scene.

It's a good movie for two reasons and neither of them really has to do with the story or characters as they appear!

It knows its audience: as in, the general audience of TF fans, the TF fans who go into the cinema expecting the tried and true story of "cherik but robots" will have a grand time! And will go to the cinema 26 times to make sure this movie has revenue (see Twitter, it's embarrassing). AND, it's also great franchise bait! Tell me, how many people have you seen that are new to the franchise BECAUSE of ROTB? Now, TF: ONE? I assume your answer will be a little different. It's a movie that dangles a carrot for the audience, if you already like the carrot, sweet! If you never tasted the carrot, you may enjoy it without thinking.

Focus-tested: great use of the word, I'm stealing it. I would say this movie is a calculated risk, but it isn't a risk at all. I appreciate the motives behind this movie a ton! Because it wasn't just something Hasbro green-lighted to ignite the Bayverse flame back, it's calculated and the time it was left in the oven means this is pure aligned sauce, and it works. This movie sexes so much with core concepts from the Aligned continuity that it was bound to never be its own thing, and even better! All the "new" concepts this movie has to offer are either animated movie jerking off (Comedic-relief character that adds nothing, Girlboss...) or smoothing out Aligned things that would not fly in deeper examination (Op and Megs are both miners, Sentinel, no "alternative mode racism").

It's a good movie, in comparison to what came before (that I felt the need to point out in my review). It's cohesive, unlike ROTB, AND more importantly, it's approachable (not only for newcomers but also for the fandom at large). It's an above-average kids' movie (which aside from a few surprising offers, has been on the slop side of things for YEARS now, ESPECIALLY when it comes to Blockbuster schmuck).

It's a good movie because it was calculated, the only factors that may intervene are Paramount's shitty distribution AND toy sales, but that doesn't change the fact that it is critically acclaimed already.

Now you might be asking:

Do I support this?

Who am I to support anything? Just a small account on a near-dead site. However, I cannot deny I find it quite ingenious of the Hasbro team (who has been wanting to amalgamize TF for YEARS) and the fandom reaction to it has been great to watch.

Does this kill artistic integrity?

LMAO YEAH! I don't thing anyone watching a big studio movie would be really surprised by that, better luck with animated series and/or comics. Tho, I sure the people working on this movie did put their hearts into it, it just happened to be a really strategic place to put it.

Wow, I wasn't expecting this.

Yeah, it is what it is. At the end of the day TF:ONE is a very great marketing scheme, I'd be more worried about it seeping into other things (beware of what's to come after the failure of the GI:JOE/TF movie and after they finish killing off ES).

I didn't really like it, but for reasons I already don't like Aligned. The forced godhood of Orion (which makes the Autobot/Decepticon conflict into a religious war!! Why?), the fact that D-16 is the fucking anti-christ that was dictated by THE ALREADY MENTIONED NARRATIVE into villainy (even though, he was in the right! Orion's only plan towards Sentinel was... 'the people will know'... Then...?), the High-guard was completely fodder for the main four (notice how I never mentioned them in my original review), and Arachnid... LOL MOMENT FOR THAT BLUNDER AMIRITE?!

But that ⬆️ was not the point of this movie's existence.

Sorry if this reads a little too hateful or cynical, I am genuinely neutral about this movie, but I just wanted to make my stance clear. My account is not made to dwell on or endorse parts of the franchise that I do not like, I prefer talking and uplifting what I enjoy... And maybe reblogging a hateful post every once a week.

[anotheruserwithnoname]

Some thoughts on Daredevil & Wolverine

On Sunday I went to a matinee screening of Daredevil & Wolverine - the first time I'd seen a film in a cinema since MEGAN back in early 2023. The tl;dr is that I loved it, and I had some general thoughts. By necessity I have to go full spoiler so here's the spoiler break (and if by chance you don't see a break, now's your warning to run away screaming in terror).

I wasn't a fan of the first Deadpool movie. I felt it was a bit pretentious and "R-rated for the sake of being R-rated" rather than telling a good story that happened to hit R (these were my initial thoughts and except for the R-rating part I felt similarly about the first Avatar). As a result I've never actually seen Deadpool 2 (or its PG-13 edit, Once Upon a Deadpool), but I liked Deadpool 3 a lot. It didn't feel pretentious and it had heart which i wasn't really expecting. It had somewhat of the same vibe as Free Guy, which is a good thing. (And just to complete a thought from earlier, I found myself greatly enjoying Avatar 2).

My only concern (though it isn't hurting the box office any) is in some respects the film hits on one of the biggest criticisms of the MCU and other franchises: it is NOT a jumping on point for anything. You need to have at least a passing familiarity with the past Deadpool films, the X-Men films, the MCU films, at least one of the TV series, AND several of the non-Disney/Sony franchises (Blade and the Affleck Daredevil/Elektra, the Fantastic Four films of the mid-2000s) in order to get some of the jokes and for some of the moments to resonate. There are two characters who play key roles in the final act of the film who have absolute no relevance to anyone who hasn't seen Deadpool 2 (like me) and the Loki TV series. The return of X-23 might have also meant a bit more had I seen the Logan movie, as opposed to Elektra and Blade's return, as I had.

BUT - all credit to the writers - while there is a level of "continuity lockout", it's not enough to damage the film. And when I did see a moment related to a film I knew (I somehow managed to avoid being spoiled about Chris Evans reprising Human Torch), it hit a bullseye.

I'm going to have to watch the film at least once more because a few references landed when I was thinking back on the film hours later (like Deadpool joking about getting a boner watching Gossip Girl, which wasn't a random pop culture reference - his wife, Blake Lively starred in it.)

Speaking of, I loved the way Ryan Reynolds had Blake and his kids play some of the Deadpool variants (though I was disappointed to learn Blake only did the voice of Lady Deadpool). Nathan Fillion is also in there somewhere, making this the 3rd time I think that he's done a cameo in an MCU film. Reading the cast credits is a must (yes, that IS Henry Cavill as a Wolverine. I wonder if he was ever considered for the part? He plays a somewhat super-powered Wolverine too. Super, get it? LOL)

Jennifer Garner was already over 50 when she reprised Elektra and looks amazing. She could do an Elektra film now (or an Alias revival) if she wanted to.

Hugh Jackman has aged well into the role of Wolverine. I hope we get to see another one with him (now paired with X-23, played by Dafne Keen, a rising star who I know from the His Dark Materials TV series in which she co-starred, coincidentally, with James McAvoy of X-Men fame).

Channing Tatum as Gambit was a real surprise. The point about him appearing is that film starring him as Gambit (an X-Men spinoff) was planned but cancelled, so he finally gets the chance. Although played mostly for laughs (and reminiscent of Tatum's cameo in Reynold's Free Guy), he kicks ass. If a Gambit movie isn't announced down the line I'll be surprised.

Similarly, Wesley Snipes makes a strong case (no disrespect intended to Mahershala Ali) for continuing to play Blade. He even says this in the movie!

It is no secret that recent Marvel movies have been controversial and not universally loved by a long shot. D&W does not shy away from this - which may make some people uncomfortable, but at the same time respect to Disney for allowing it. I'm surprised there was no dig at Star Wars' expense, though; I guess Disney only allowed the biting-the-hand humour to go so far.

There is a female counterpart to Charles Xavier in this film. Played by Emma Corrie, Cassandra Nova is one of the best villains the MCU has had for a while. Much like Sylvie, the female version of Loki in the TV series, I appreciated that they didn't just make Cassandra a copy of Charles but made her a unique character. I wasn't aware she originated in the comics until after I saw the film. Too bad they killed her off. Or did they?

Kudos for making D&W the first-ever MCU film to reference Saskatoon (though maybe not in the sense the city would like! LOL). There were a few other Canadian references in the movie - the CN Tower makes a notable cameo on The Void. Which, if you've ever been to Toronto ... (I'll leave that joke there LOL)

The dog. Nothing else need be said. Part of me hopes Ryan Reynolds saw her up for adoption and wrote the entire Dogpool subplot just to get her in the movie.

The closing credits, aside from having one of the best stingers of all time, also includes a retrospective video of the non-MCU movies with behind the scenes and interviews. It's in keeping with the fourth-wall-breaking concept of Deadpool and at the same time it's a touching tribute to the older films, including some that were under-appreciated by audiences at the time.

I do have one major criticism (and this is legit the only part of the movie I did NOT like): considering the film is in part a sequel to Loki, and the fact so many MCU characters are referenced, including a cameo (using manipulated stock footage) of Chris Hemsworth as Thor, it actually makes zero sense that the film did not have an appearance in some form by either Tom Hiddleston as Loki or by one of the other Loki variants (Sylvie, Richard Grant's version, or even a new one). Instead we have an appearance by one of the agents from the series and one name drop of the Loki TV series itself (which means Reynolds & Co. would have been aware of the Loki variants including the quite-popular Classic Loki played by Grant). Also, it's unclear if it takes place before or after the events of Loki the series. I think it was a lost opportunity (maybe there's a deleted scene). But as criticisms go, that's still pretty minor.

The gag reel on this is going to be glorious.

[oneiric-somnolence]

I watched The Twilight Saga for the first time in 2023.

(Maybe somewhat obviously, there are spoilers for the Twilight Saga in this post! Proceed with caution and care.)

A real post on main, guys! Can you believe it?!

INTRO:

I’m a movie guy. I like films—even the ones that aren’t particularly good. Maybe especially those ones. 

When I’d reached the target age and audience of Twilight (2008), I really was of the scene and aesthetics of someone who should have watched Twilight (that, of course, being an edgy tweenaged girl). It’s release was, however, just a few years before my most conscious ages and by then had already garnered the reputation of being a rather shit film. The specific kind that fell victim to excessive scrutiny because it was targeted towards girls. I was never terribly fond of things for girls (for reasons that would come to make themselves clear in the future) so I naturally joined the hate party. I think at that point, the most I’d even known about the film came from parody in the cartoons i was watching. There may have been a particularly notable Twilight bit in American Dad. Who remembers?

Anyhow—while no longer tweenaged or a girl, I feel as if I have reached the point in my life where I would most respect these films for what they are. I appreciate an amount of cheese and I feel that a lens of nostalgia for the era they come from will cloud my judgement quite beautifully. I hope there to be an amount of earnest in them—as that’s all that a film really needs to be entertaining to me—but I’ve seen criticism of the later films in the franchise for being very of an industry and without the charm that audiences enjoyed from the franchise initially. The quality or charisma of any films after the first (excluding Eclipse) will not be necessary to keep my attention because Michael Sheen is in them. So I’ll do my best to give them all a fair shot and not let the opinions of others snake too far into my mind. 

First up, Twilight (2008)…

TWILIGHT (2008):

Knowing what I do about films in general and my preferences when it comes to them, I was immediately a bit turned off by the two-hour runtime. Even a supernatural action-romance didn’t need to be much longer than 1:45 if they knew what they were doing. It did, however, get the benefit of the doubt for being based on a book. I know that can lengthen things. Now, while it wasn’t exceptionally long, I think the movie would have greatly benefited from being a few tens of minutes shorter just to force them to figure out where their priorities lie and pace things much better. I will revisit this idea many times in the post to come as it is a bit of an issue with the franchise.

The very first thing the movie needs absolute credit for is its style. From the iconic blue filter over the entire movie to the insert song choices to the actors chosen and done up to specifically be beautiful in the way this story desires—they had a vision and they did their best to fulfill it. Now, I feel it necessary to mention I have not read the books nor do I plan to. I’m reviewing the films as films and alluding to the books as an abstract potentiality. I haven’t a damn clue what’s actually in them. With that bit clarified, it seems to me that the filmmakers had an idea of how they wanted to put the book to screen and it seems they’d succeeded. 

My favorite part of the movie before the final climax was—believe it or not—the most memed scene of it: Bella’s confrontation of Edward. I like it. I thought the whole vampire research montage was fun and the “I know what you are” bit was well done and a good buildup-payoff (this will not be very common in these films). Save for the silly vampire super speed moment, it was a visually beautiful scene and a great emotional turning point for the film.

There are a few things that surely wouldn’t have made a teenager in 2008 bat an eye and even would seem their greatest fantasy while not aging well at all. I very much enjoy the dynamic of “I would love to love you and it’s in my very nature to do horrible things to you but I love you too much to ever do them” but, as an already ethically gray trope, it becomes odd to watch when you put two high school juniors in it. Now make one of those juniors an immortal that has been a teenager much longer than the other and you start to wonder what the fuck you’re watching. Lonely flip phone-era girls don’t think about these things and that’s why they’re happier than us. Though, the filmmakers (I’m counting Stephenie Meyer as a “filmmaker” as she did have a hand in it by, y’know, writing the books they’re based on) did think about the oddness of it to some extent because, in the following films, they did wait until Bella was an adult to let things get “serious.” I’ll give them that.

I liked the baseball scene. That may be a bias for how anime it is and the Muse song in the background, but I did think it was a good transition from romance focus to Vampire Murder focus by showing us vampiric abilities in action. I do think the other vamps showing up to crash it and that being the major turning point was rather lame and I can’t exactly say why. That said, I found most of this section of this film to be rather uninteresting. The villains were unengaging—the best vampire out of the three antagonists was Laurent and they did fuck all with him. I rather dislike Victoria (and you will see that that will in no way change for me as the series goes on) and whatever the killer one’s name was. I really didn’t like him—it was no fault of the actor’s as I could tell he was trying really hard with the horrific dialogue he was given. He didn’t convince me as a Killer and had no motivation as a Vampire. 

As for the very end climax of the film, Kristen Stewart is about the only on this cast who could do action sequences convincingly and she was never actually partaking in any of them until they almost killed her. Alright. The final fight had some very pretty and cool shots but the fight choreography was just awkward and boring (this is never remedied even as the franchise goes on). I enjoyed the dynamic of the Cullens for the first time during this fight and I’m happy to say that they stay a very good group of characters from this point on.

If you break the movie into four 40 minute segments, the first half was okay, the third fourth was lame and uninteresting, and the last bit was maybe even quite good. The literal last seconds of the film aren’t a half bad lead into the next movie. I wish they’d prioritized some things and emphasized some other things. If they forced themselves to make this movie 30 minutes shorter, I think they would have found where their priorities lie and it would have been punchier and much more consistent and engaging. Not a completely horrible movie. I feel like they wanted to lean into more of the lore and world building I’m sure the book had, and they take the opportunity to do so in the following films, but you could tell they wanted to. It felt like they either forgot or weren’t sure exactly how. 

It’s a charming film, confident in it's romance but less so in it’s action. It’s got as many dumb and flawed moments as it has nice or enjoyable ones. Worth a watch for the sake of a watch. That’s the best I’ve got—it takes a backseat in your mind once you’ve watched all the others as the story moves so quickly in insane directions. It’s a humble beginning.

Here are some of my various notes I wrote while watching:

“Bella gets sexually assaulted eight minutes into the movie.”

“All the banter dialogue in this movie is completely unnatural and unbearable except all the small town Washington folks. Love them. That said, this is exactly how two extremely awkward teens act when forced to partner up in class.”

“If I was partnered with Edward Cullen, I would just assume he was severely autistic. (ETA: I’m not sure he isn’t. Might be on the spectrum on top of all the vampire shit.)"

“Edward Cullen really was such a dark pretty boy back then, wasn’t he? I’m not trying to imply Robert Pattinson isn’t widely considered beautiful still, but nowadays you can find a guy exactly like him smoking a cigarette and listening to Radiohead on every street corner—and also in every female demographic anime video game since 2010.”

"Edward should’ve just pretended he was surprised about the eye thing and the super strength and whatever. "

“This entire family are freaks and it’s not because they are vampires." 

“I’m starting to wonder if Edward talks so weird because a young Robert Pattinson is struggling to do an American accent."

“These movies would be infinitely less lame if more people got maimed to death. (ETA: They do.)”

“I was unaware of how close this film got to a sex scene.”

NEW MOON (2009):

This series has a habit of introducing a villain with very high potential and then either killing them or elaborating on them in a way that does not matter and doesn’t really amount to anything. This movie is Victoria’s nothing elaboration and the introduction of Aro and the Volturi. 

The Volturi, to me, are these very enticing anime-style villains. I think they’re a good addition to the lore as the governing body of vampires. They have their flaws, as every group in this franchise does, but their existence and the way they work in the story shows intention and direction—something I’ve mentioned these films are quite low on. This film is their exposition. They do little actual villainy within the walls of New Moon and I do wish they were simply more prevalent in general, but this film gives them great context and introduces them very, very well. I’m writing this here as a bit of a preface—they don’t really get too involved until the near end of the movie. This, though, is a good thing. They take the opportunity to properly explain and expose the Volturi and explain to us why we should be scared or be enticed by them before they force us to.

The emotional plot was—I don’t know—something. It seems odd and forced and unsure of itself but it tells us why Edward and Bella need each other and makes sure everyone in the movie is aware of it as well. I appreciate that. Breakup plots when you know they end up just fine together feel like they take forever to get anywhere and make any sense, though I’ll give it the benefit of seeing it through the eyes of that lonely teenage flip phone girl. I’m sure she was quite devastated and would have been left as Bella was if the movie didn’t resolve itself.

This was his movie but still I found a lot of Jacob's plot unmemorable. The only thing I do remember is how this is the film that turned him from the fun, casual alternative into a bit of a weird, obsessed never-even-was-ex-lover who chooses repeatedly and knowingly to insert himself where he isn’t wanted. A bit of Jacob's character is remedied in the following films but he really just enters an odd state where they aren’t sure what to do with him and you aren’t sure if you like him.

It did stop being the werewolf movie by the end of it. This is when the Volturi show up and steal the movie—and Michael Sheen shows up to steal every scene he’s in. I’m told Victoria was the main villain of this film and yet she was the most forgettable aspect of the film. By the time they make it to Italy, you don’t give a single shit about any of that—the feeling of something much bigger sets in as they spend little time wading in What Just Happened and quickly move on to setting up the following films. 

The unsatisfactory pacing and poor prioritization of subject matter per film is somewhat remedied when you start thinking of this Saga as a series—and I do believe it would have been one if the books were adapted in a time where limited series were more popular. Thinking of them as an anime is what made it more easy to finish and accept certain oddities. 

Overall, there was too much of the film that was terribly unremarkable but the good parts were rather very good and gave me a perhaps misguided hope for the next one. To add—I quite liked the soundtrack. The insert songs were often fitting and genuinely added to the scenes they were in.

Here are some of the notes I wrote while watching:

“So far, it’s my impression that these films are just as wildly ambitious as they are confused. It does, admittedly, make them a bit endearing.”

“I don’t think I’d take the time and effort to read the books but I could definitely see this story being much more nuanced and enjoyable in text form. Though I can’t say anything of Stephenie Meyer’s writing style. I haven’t read even an excerpt of it. Maybe it sucks. Who knows.”

“Michael Sheen’s first appearance in this movie is him ripping off a man’s head.” (This was noted simply from sense of amusement. Or perhaps arousal.)

“Alice Cullen is genuinely adorable.”

“I get the emotional implication of the motorcycle but I really don’t think Edward Cullen would be opposed to his girlfriend having a sick ass motorcycle if they were together right now.”

"I’ll admit I have been somewhat too engaged to make notes. So I guess that’s good. “

“Why did Edward fly to fucking Italy to kill himself? Just eat some fucking garlic or something dude.”

“I found this movie to be far more consistently engaging. And my judgement isn’t clouded by having Michael Sheen on screen because he barely was.”

“The vampire fight in Twilight was lame. The vampire fight in New Moon is even lamer since we got to see how fuckin' sick the werewolf fights were.”

“I’ll give credit to this movie for officially engaging me in the plot of these characters. I actually wanted to know where things were going in this movie. I didn’t feel that too hard with the first.”

ECLIPSE (2010):

New Moon sets up the Volturi and Eclipse knocks it down? No, not at all. They aren’t really even here. Victoria. Victoria, Victoria, Victoria. Hey, at least she dies in this one. They foreshadow the conflict very heavily and then go into a bunch of particularly boring relationship nonsense. It sets up for progression within Edward and Bella’s relationship to come but I found the way in which they did it a total snoozefest. I don’t care about the sex lives of teenagers. I’m sorry. Lord forgive me. A lot of what happened in this film could have happened elsewhere. It didn’t particularly need to exist in the grand scheme of the story.

The main point of this movie was Bella’s dichotomies. Bella struggles with the decision to be turned into a vampire and the decision between Edward and Jacob (though, that one less so as the narrative so clearly favors Edward). She’s shown the barbarism of vampires through the newborns and she’s shown the beauty and humanity in them as she talks to the Cullens about their lives and as she falls deeper in love with Edward. There’s a very nice bit where, in a graduation speech, Bella’s friend talks about how her age is about making mistakes and that nothing is permanent. It’s a very nice speech for anyone to hear and sends a good amount of uncertainty to Bella that drags with her until she makes her final decision at the end of the movie. I thought that was rather well done both cinematically and thematically. That may have been the most enjoyable part of the movie for me. 

Despite its flaws, by this movie I was unfortunately hooked. My critical mind had left me and I really was just following the plot. Still, I didn’t have the mind for emotional stuff that bored me and the action aspects of the movie were also rather boring. They gave us good backgrounds on some of the Cullens. The best vampire fight in the movie was when they were sparring. We get some decent vamp/wolf action and some jumping points. This movie was just a bridge but that does mean it leaves you wondering what’s next. The pacing feels a lot nicer, again, if you think of is as a really long episode of a greater series.

My notes are a little more sparse for this one:

“I really don’t find Victoria to be an interesting or scary enough villain to warrant being a villain for this many movies.”

“I think this franchise is so much more bearable when you think of it as an anime. Genuinely.”

“How many actors in these films are English and trying very hard not to be? Lots of weird accents going on here.”

“Every single other Cullen is infinitely more interesting than the one the story chooses to follow."

“I love the Volturi’s anime villainy. It’s my favorite thing in this entire franchise.”

“Jasper may be the weirdest, most fucked up creepo Cullen but he is also the funniest by far.”

“Why does Jacob specifically have to carry Bella to mask her scent? I don’t get it. If he’s so pungent, just him walking with her should be enough, no?”

BREAKING DAWN — PART 1 (2011):

The decisions are made! Edward and Bella are getting married! Then they’ll fuck and turn Bella into a vampire a bit later! Yeah! I know, like, thematically why they place so much emphasis on Edward and Bella having sex but I find it much less interesting than the whole Turning Into a Fucking Vampire thing. Bella gets pregnant. Hell spawn. Everyone gets pissed off. She has the baby. They name it something stupid. She almost dies. Edward turns her into a vampire. Jacob gets the hots for the just-born child and I’m supposed to be okay with that for some reason. Really, even the flip phone girl has to be asking questions by now. There. I summed up the whole movie. Really, that’s pretty much all that happens. Oh! The werewolves wanted to kill the kid, but didn’t. For reasons relating to Jacob wanting to fuck it when it grows up. I don’t know. I’m trying.

This movie was unexciting and just set up Part 2. I suppose it did exactly what it was meant to do but it did nothing for me. There you are.

Wanna read some of my notes? Here:

“If I dreamt Michael Sheen was at my wedding, it would in no way be a nightmare. “

“Sex preparation montage? Okay. I have no comments. I just needed to mention it was there.”

“They really, really don’t know what happens when a vampire impregnates a human? Really? In all this time?"

“Werewolf rage segment doesn’t interest me. The first half of this movie has not been particularly interesting."

“Every single actor in these movies are just beautiful. Genuinely fantastic-looking people. The vampires’ makeup would convince you otherwise though.”

"'Jacob just had an idea.’ '…It wasn’t an idea. It was a snide comment.’ is the funniest dialogue in this whole franchise.”

“Vampire venom CG? Okay."

"Jacob 'imprinting' on Renesmee is such an unbelievably odd and vile thing to put into this story. So fucked up."

“This is the movie that turned Bella into a vampire but still manages to be a boring and unnotable transitional phase into Part 2.”

BREAKING DAWN — PART 2 (2012):

This movie is the actual payoff for the Volturi—if you could call it that at all. This is it: the great climax! And yet it takes so long to get going in a way that means anything. The stakes set you up for everything and give you nothing. 

Bella enjoys being a vampire. Everyone is really mean to her dad for some reason. Everyone got really cool with Jacob taking claim on Renesmee very fast. The Volturi catch wind of Renesmee and think she is a child who was turned into a vampire, which is Vampire Illegal, so once again, they come to hunt down the Cullens. They’re very foreboding and scary and Micheal Sheen pleases me greatly no matter how terrible he looks. Really, with all the lost visions in these movies I wish they could have found a genuinely good design for the vampires—I’d never quite liked how they look. 

Anyhow, the Cullens build a great vampire army to fight off several clones of the Spirit Halloween logo, but, of course, they’re hoping they don’t have to fight and that the Volturi will hear them out. It all comes together in an empty field when the snow sticks to the ground where it’s vampires and werewolves versus the Italians. We see a great battle that gets infinitely lamer-looking when the characters you like join in because God hates you. Humbert and Dolores—I mean Jacob and Renesmee make a break for safety. Vampires get shattered like stone, werewolves go down like sick dogs and Aro rips off Carlisle Cullen’s head. Aro gets his head smashed off. Rami Malek is there. 

But alas! None of it’s real. We cut back in to Aro holding Alice’s hand before they started fighting and reading what she saw in the future—the future he has if they choose to battle today. Aro wants to call it off to save is head in the most literal sense possible but still fears danger remains in the form of a half-human-half-vampire child. Alice reveals a vampire they met who is indeed that and is just fine. Great, even. Grew to maturity and stopped aging. Aro is delighted and just leaves. All is well and all romantic pursuits are happy, including one with Bella’s father who is the only man in this series who deserves happiness. That’s the end of the film and the franchise as it stands.

While I would normally go completely feral and find someone to maim with that kind of “it wasn’t real!” ending, this one feels… earned. It stayed engaging. It had a reason to exist other than just trickery. I have no complaints regarding that and I’m sure it was rather exciting to experience in-theater at the time.

What I have got complaints about is once again that rancid sense that they have no idea where they’re going next. It doesn’t feel at all like they’re done with it but they gave no indication of where they would want to go in the future. With almost no payoff from the best villains in the series—everything just goes back to how it is and everyone’s happy. The only difference between the end of Twilight and the end of Breaking Dawn 2 is that Bella is a vampire now and Renesmee exists. It was an exciting movie but with so little point. This franchise is so afraid of ending but so unsure it’ll go on. It’s understandable but just annoying and unsatisfying as a viewer. It does deserve credit for making me care that there was a good ending, just gets the same points taken back for not giving me one.

Overall, I enjoyed the film. It’s one of my favorites in the series. I can’t, however, rate it as an ending because it isn’t one. I can tell it wants to get there but it’s too unsure.

Last round of notes comin’ up:

“They’ve taken a rather vague stance on if vampires sleep recreationally or not.” (This still annoys me.)

“I know I’m saying this while I actively chose to watch the goddamn Twilight Saga but I do not care one single bit about the vampire sex. It’s the least interesting part of these films. They managed to make Vampire Sex boring. I don’t get it.”

“Rami Malek was quite a sweet thing in this movie. I’m used to his characters being like sick or on drugs or something.”

“I like that that credits were kind of credits for the whole franchise. that’s nice.”

“Okay, I did not expect Billie Joe Armstrong once the scrolling credits came in.”

CLOSING STATEMENTS:

It’s not a series that’s going to change your world. I don’t even think it’d make a viewer of average sensitivity cry unless it hit a nerve specific to the viewer. It’s a flawed story, but ultimately an interesting and deeply earnest one. I find there’s a charm specific to the first and final movies. That isn’t to say the other’s were less interesting, just that the franchise has a problem with drive and direction. Quite obviously, the very first and the very last are the ones easiest to overcome that. The series is best at its most certain. There were moments it seemed rather confused about what was important or how something was to be portrayed, but within the moments that were very confident in themselves was an engaging supernatural romance, and I find it quite easy to give it the benefit of the doubt more often than not. 

In two words—flawed, charming. It does what it wants to do and isn’t completely terrible at it. Overall enjoyable films. 

I wouldn’t recommend someone sit through them all unless I think they would actually like that kind of thing or if they were making an essay about it. I might, however, recommend that one who enjoys films watch the first and perhaps second to see if they may be unexpectedly enticed. I found myself—to my own discontent—hooked in by the third one. I don’t recommend holding out that long if you really aren’t enjoying yourself but if you insist on giving them a fair chance, that’s my anecdote. 

[corvuserpens]

So yeah, yesterday I decided to FINALLY watched The Meg bc everyone kept saying it was a silly fun shark movie... AND THEY WERE RIGHT. It was AWESOME.

I went in expecting practically nothing, and it blew me away. The story premise is ridiculous and it totally feels like the director, actors and crew 100% knew that and embraced it! The movie never takes itself too seriously, it practically tells you to just kick back and enjoy it for what it is, which is exactly what makes it so much fun. It's an exciting comedy horror about a giant prehistoric shark in present day Earth, the CGI is dubious but the cinematography makes up for it with some great, well composed shots. For example, when Suyin is in the trench and is being attacked by a giant squid? That in itself is pretty cool imagery, but then you see the Megalodon swimming over her sub with the squid in its mouth in the gloom, illuminated from below?? WOW????

Then the characters are like, surprisingly deep? They have interesting backstories that inform us on who they are and while Jonas is the only one who gets some screen time for his Big Trauma, we later learn that Lori might have blown up a whaler ship for an environment organization and that's how she learned to pilot? And that Suyin had a tough relationship with her dad but they love each other so much that with his dying breath he tells her how proud he is, that she already surpassed him as a scientist and he hopes Meying will grow up to be just like her? And we get all of that with some very organic, short dialog or like 3-4 minute scenes, which is rare these days. Legit good writing where it is most needed, all the more sober scenes are well-acted and so immersive, the characters are so likable I ended up rooting for all of them to survive (except that billionaire whose name I didn't bother to learn, everyone else I remember except him, FUCK that guy). Even the side characters, though flat, were interesting because the actors gave them so much personality!

And, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A WHOLESOME CISHET SHIP WITH JASON STATHAM WITH VERY LITTLE SEXUAL TENSION BUT A LOT OF ROMANTIC TENSION?? WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT??? Seriously, I was shipping Jonas and Suyin so hard, their interactions were adorable. How he goes from being the typical Tough Manly Man Who Is Super Competent And Punches All The Bad Guys While Wearing The Same Tough Guy Face All Movie to genuinely caring for the whole Mana One crew and respecting Suyin as an accomplished female scientist in her own right who knows what she's doing and is also brave and headstrong herself... Much 'aww'ing' was done.

Not to make this too long a rant, I love talking about movies I enjoyed, sorry, but a few other small things I liked about it: that Lori and Jonas remained good friends who care and support each other, and want the other's happiness even being divorced, we need more of that! And Dr. Heller apologizing to Jonas and meaning it for saying he was crazy and basically ruining his life (plus Jonas forgiving him in the end), definitely wanna see more of that! Jonas' friendship with Meying, THAT WAS SO CUTE, I COULDN'T GET ENOUGH OF THEM!! The gags were all genuinely funny, I was laughing through most of the movie, and the jump scares got me more than a couple of times (though that might be a fault on my part, I'm a big wussy and I am not afraid to admit it). The action is so. DUMB. But it's the kind that it's so dumb it's good, y'know?

Final note, I gotta say, let Jason actually act more because he's really good and directors keep hiring him to play a stoic emotionless hero when he can do so much more? He has impeccable comedic timing, his line delivery no matter how bonkers, always lands, he's REALLY CHARMING and y'all are wasting his potential imo. Given, I haven't really watched many of his movies after the Transporter franchise, but for example, I loved him in The Italian Job and a couple of weeks ago I started watching Homefront and I was enjoying it because he gets to play a widower with a young daughter in a new town, and now I definitely need to finish it bc I'm a sucker for father/daughter dynamics.

Anyway, yeah, if you like sharks, B-movies or just something fun to watch that will make you laugh, go watch The Meg. It's good enough to convince me to go watch the sequel next August. Can't wait!

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2023 Movie Journey #12: Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

indiana jones and the dial of destiny. so i really enjoyed this. a lot. here’s my complicated backstory: my mom owned one or two of the original indiana jones movies on vhs, i remember seeing them in our movie cabinet--but i’ve never seen any of the movies in the series. i wasn’t planning on watching this one, either, because while it has an obviously great cast, i’m just not an action movie person. at best, i like action movies in spite of their genre, like birds of prey or mad max fury road.

so unlike when i plan to see a movie, i wasn’t avoiding spoilers for this one. and what i did read about it, was interesting. and @actuallylukedanes​ was already planning to see it, and invited me to join--and let’s face it, where phoebe waller-bridge goes, i will follow. leander promised i didn’t need to have seen the rest of the movies to watch the new one, and i figured i could always watch them later if i wanted to--this was not the first time i dove into the end of a world first.

with a few minor exceptions, i absolutely loved it. they created a story that (to me, at least) felt like it existed for a point--like they had something specific to say, in bringing indiana jones back, rather than just wanting to cash in forever on the franchise. i’m not saying they weren’t also doing that, of course...i just enjoyed the way it felt conclusive to me as a movie. it stood well on its own and i loved its themes. i like my action movies with some feelings.

spoilers ahead:

harrison ford was predictably great and i enjoyed watching him. i didn’t even realize antonio banderas was antonio banderas, until leander mentioned it after the movie was over. there’s really nothing i can say about mads mikkelsen because he is a delightful chaos agent always, and i don’t actually enjoy watching him play a nazi, but he’s one of the very best when it comes to character actors. as usual, he made a great villain.

and of course, phoebe waller-bridge was everything i wanted and more, as helena. she was conniving, she was conflicted, she was wearing an unconvincing facade and carrying an unexplained backstory, and whenever she faced off against indy like some kind of shadow self from a new generation, it was as if she believed she was a badass antagonist, when mostly she just seemed sad and hollow underneath a smirk and a truly great wardrobe. 

i was just so thrilled that they gave her such a huge role in the action--i knew she was in the movie, obviously, but it’s so against type for her to do that kind of acting that i think i expected more of a bantering sidekick thing. she was a full-fledged participant in the high-speed hijinks! i couldn’t have been happier about that. it was so fun to see. and i wish we knew more about what made her who she was.

the four issues i had with the movie overall were an underwater scene (because i have drowning fear, so it wasn’t anything specific about the scene, i hate all underwater scenes where humans could die), the way that they used the era the film is mainly set in (late 60s) to make a lot of the action based on car chases and plane drama, the use of the movie’s two black characters, and the way the happy ending kind of seemed to undermine the whole point of the movie. 

when it comes to the car chases, which lasted forever and i found really boring, they only bothered me because i wasn’t expecting them. even though i haven’t seen other indiana jones movies, i had the sense going in that they were set far back in history, with his adventures revolving more around, like, cave stuff. even the trailer for the new one didn’t emphasize the modern elements so much, in the trailer fast-forwarding to indiana jones’s elder years. it’s like ‘whip versus guns!’ played for laughs. 

but in the movie itself, i got the strong sense that the filmmakers were thrilled to have the option of making huge scenes out of vehicle chases in a way they couldn’t before, because sure, this may be indiana jones, but people seeing blockbusters today love giant car (and train, and plane) chases--the best way to make a better movie is include more of them! whereas i’d much rather see an indiana jones movie, which leander assured me afterwards really didn’t use to have that stuff. those other movies already exist! for the people who want that! 

it was kind of uncomfortably meta for me, like the movie plot was saying the main character doesn’t want to live in the modern world surrounding him...while they were also filling the movie with modern elements i didn’t want, as a viewer who came to see that main character who’s out of place. 

when it came to the couple of black characters in the movie, i really felt like they were wasted, because the acting was way better than their roles so i expected more. the cia agent who was working with the villain as a sort of handler and facilitator, she spent the movie trying to corral him and failing, telling the nazis off for undermining their mission...but given how her storyline ended, she could honestly have been removed from the movie entirely and nothing would have changed. i don’t remember a single moment in the movie where her involvement made anything happen or not happen--and that’s not meant as an insult to her! 

i was waiting for her to get to be cool somehow, surprising, because she could have been. where was her big moment, while helena was getting so many? i know she’s not the lead, but she was on the movie poster too. instead, in her final scene, i was just left thinking that’s all? what was the point? i guess it was meant to complicate the group of nazi goons chasing our heroes, but given that it didn’t end up turning that into action, i’m not sure it really complicated anything, so much as it went hey look a black woman is working with secret nazis. and then it had nothing else to say about that. she really deserved better.

the other character was a minor one, he didn’t even have a name, but the actor grabbed my attention and the scene was so tense, i said out loud that i felt bad for him, because it was pretty obvious what his fate was about to be. and then it didn’t happen! instead, the hotel porter just had this truly well-acted scene opposite mads mikkelsen, and it raised the emotional stakes in a way that none of the nazi’s interactions with indy (past or present) really could, because his hatred of indiana jones was personal even more than it was political or national. the kind of dangerous revulsion he simmered with in that hotel room, that was the stuff true bad guys are made of. 

it made me all the more disappointed, though, because they didn’t give that same kind of space to the cia agent who actually had a name, and major screentime. the antagonist kept his disrespect for her on a more detached level, so it could be explained away as a snobby scientist looking down on a government worker he doesn’t find useful. we don’t get to see her wrestle with the realization that she’s in danger just being around him, or the true evil that lies under his well-regarded skills. even when his goons start killing people, she’s more upset that they have no restraint than over the actual murders, because she thinks they’re all after the same objective. and that’s gross, and definitely could have been resonant, if it had ended up mattering more.

besides that, though, i enjoyed the ‘supernatural’ element they went with for the movie. it was a good time, and also added emotional weight to the end that was great. my third issue comes from that, and it’s not a real problem i have or anything so much as an open-ended wondering about what they did.

because they set it up to give everyone a happy ending, a nice found family and family reunion with the characters who were left. but to get there, they had to piece together an object that made the adventures possible, while stopping nazis from using it to go back and win the war. once they’ve defeated the nazis, and everyone is reunited and happy, they have the intact object--the one they spent the whole story trying to keep nazis from piecing together to use for evil. it’s unavoidable that they had to fix the object, even as it was dangerous because bad guys wanted it...but once they did fix it and return to ‘normal,’ are we supposed to believe that it’s not dangerous anymore?

obviously it’s safe with our hero, but these movies are all about history, and history knows that nobody and nothing lasts forever. the best efforts to protect a powerful, dangerous object are naturally imperfect. unless the point is to keep the object, on purpose, to be able to time travel (which the movie seemed to say at the end was not what they should do, even indiana jones, because of the risk it would pose to everything that came after) then it seems to me the moral of the story is that the safety of the world depends on destroying the object, just like helena’s father wanted. 

because even splitting it into pieces and hiding those wasn’t enough to protect it from nazis, and they only stopped those specific bad guys. the world already knows the object exists, even if it’s a myth to most, and there will always be evil in the world. so looking far down the line from indiana jones’s specific life, the best case scenario is a future where he (or another well-meaning person) chooses to time travel and we’ll then see the wide-ranging unpredictable effects of that. the worse future is one where an inevitable new evil rises up, with enough knowledge and resources to try to find and use the object and destroy everything or rule everything.

i suspect i’m overthinking it, especially since they swear there’s no continuation planned with phoebe waller-bridge as a natural choice for indy’s successor in a new world. but to me those questions were just left sitting on the literal table. 

it didn’t take away at all from how much i enjoyed the movie. i just...wonder. i definitely recommend this one, though, especially with snacks. movie popcorn got me through that car chase. and watching it with somebody you love is even better: leander was great comfort during my drowning anxiety, and while i stared away from the screen entirely during a spider scene. (ack.)

i especially appreciated getting to see harrison ford as indiana jones in this closing chapter, partly because what this movie digs into with his character is a focus on the past when the past is gone--and at the beginning of the year, i saw a totally different movie that was exploring such similar themes: a man called otto. 

but where that one emotionally scarred me, i felt like this movie gave us a man looking backwards, and did it better. or at least, it did it in a way that i liked a lot more. when we start this movie, it’s the end of indiana jones’s life, well past the end of his adventuring career, and what he has left is an emptiness he’s not even trying to shake. just like a man called otto, the real point of this movie is the many reluctant interactions with other people that start to improve his outlook and his life in general--but first, requiring one final grouchy return to adventuring!

while he can’t completely turn back time to fix all his heartbreak or escape it, he gets a much happier ending than otto, on multiple fronts. i didn’t know and love indiana jones going in, like i know most people already will when they see it. but i absolutely loved him by the end, in all his curmudgeonly glory, and this movie just made me happy. he and phoebe waller-bridge made me happy, the cleverness and the nazi murders and the time travel made me happy...i’d enjoy this one just as much on a rewatch.

[theaceofskulls]

The Original Gundam: Thoughts About the Show that Changed Everything

I've made no secret about the fact that during my watch through of the original Mobile Suit Gundam, I've been miserable. If you're here for a random person on the internet to give a number at you to see how it measures up to your own number that you use to validate feelings, it's 5/10. I have anon asks turned on so you can scream at me there if that helps.

For everyone else who wants to understand the journey, more complicated feelings on the subject, what I feel holds it back, why I still argue it's something to watch, and my feelings on meeting aged media on its own terms, I'll try to make this a post I hope you'll enjoy.

First off, let's get this out of the way, viewing this through the lens of a toy commercial cartoon from the 70's and 80's, it's punching well above its weight class and the cultural significance of it is hard to overstate. I also acknowledge how frustrating it is to hear people disparage the mecha genre as "just robots fighting each other for a full series" when this series itself broke that mold back in 79.

It's also frustrating beyond all belief to hear people react to anything with any mecha influence with "ew gundam" which is a feeling I'm sure anyone who has ever interacted with people in the 40k community will have familiarity with.

I understand why people are defensive of this show. It's the foundational story for the largest timeline with the most amount of other works in it for the Gundam franchise.

What is the Show?

For those not aware, Gundam as a series is divided up into different timelines that all have different canons that for the most part don't intersect. The only exception to this is that there are a few works that are implied to be far futures of this one timeline we're talking about: Universal Century, which is a time period denoted by the change in the calendar to "UC" (implied from AD).

All of the shows, movies, OVAs, manga, novels, and so on fit onto the timeline with definitive years on this calendar, with the original being set in 0079 UC, during a period called the One Year War between the Earth Federation and the Principality of Zeon which we follow from just after its start to its conclusion.

The story follows a ragtag crew of a prototype spaceship/mobile fortress called White Base with its own set of prototype robot weapons including the titular Gundam, with all of the crew being fresh faced youths most of whom aren't even part of the military at the start of the show after an attack on their space colony leads them to a prolonged escape that changes the fate of the war forever.

It's an interesting setup that immediately hits a lot of tropes with its own unique twist to them and drives a lot of the plot. Sadly that plot is where the issues show.

Before we go any further I want to note something important: I watched the English dub of this series. I have no doubt this influenced my feelings on the show but also I feel it's no less a valid way to experience something like this as it's not as though you can simply discount the existence of a version of the show that is meant to be there for its target audience to be able to connect with it.

I also did this because I knew that it would be dated and that I would struggle even more to finish the series if I did not have an option for it to not be the only thing I was doing at the time. This was how I had to meet the show and it worked out because I actually finished it, which is better than a lot of other series I've bounced off of even when I try to watch them for their significance.

It's also important to note here that the show famously brushed with cancellation that shortened its runtime down to 43 episodes, the last few of which were obtained by a lot of begging by the director to see it through. So when I mention pacing issues, I know there's a knee jerk reaction to be defensive here.

The Problem Pace

But all the acknowledgements in the world don't change what the actual viewing experience of the show is like. The pacing is atrocious, and when I say that I mean the following:

-The pacing of the overall plot -The pacing of individual episodes -The pacing of individual fights inside of episodes.

So just pacing problems in general. Some things feel drawn out, some feel like you're watching with the fastforward button held down and it's all related to the fact that the show is fitting into a trap that holds it by the throat and is to me the fundamental flaw of it that it only manages to escape with scant few episodes remaining: it's a villain-of-the-week format.

That villain could be a new character, a new enemy robot, or a strategy that's being tested on them but inevitably the end result is that it's almost always resolved by the end of the episode, usually by Amuro, our main character.

I hear some defenders about to cry out from that description so let me cut you off: the single greatest strength of the show is that it keeps a main plot going throughout the entirity of its run, usually by shuffling a different arc and threading it through individual episodes so that something always happens and its always moved forward by the events of an individual episode. This saving grace is actually really powerful at keeping the series watchable even as its animation and story structure have aged like milk.

Sometimes this even includes advancing character arcs. Sometimes.

But all in all, it begins to wind into a repetitive structure that begins to weigh on you when you realize that these episodes are running together and all the names are changing and the mechs they're fighting are different but it's frustratingly the same with the exception of the background which is never completely stalled so you keep going.

I kept deleting "watching Amuro saves the day" while typing out the story structure because technically sometimes its someone else but I realized that I couldn't continue discussion of why the show is hard to watch without addressing the other big issue in the room: the characters.

Characters, aka Char, Amuro, and the people who aren't as important

This series mostly focuses on Amuro Ray and his nemesis Char Aznable. One of them is extremely interesting and helped carry the franchise on his back. The other one is our POV character.

Amuro is not the most frustrating protagonist I've watched, nor (due to the glut of isekai I've seen) the most generic. But he's a hard sell. Just a regular kid stuffed in the cockpit is as bland a trope to the mecha genre as having a startup sequence for the first time in the cockpit is. It does allow him to suffer the stress of the constant war which is interesting on paper, but outside of that he doesn't have much.

He's a gear rat who pushes himself so that his friends (when the crew actually manages to become friends almost a quarter of the way into the show) don't suffer. And when you get towards the end and track his progress on paper, it seems interesting. It's just very... flat in practice. My favorite moment is him being called out for fighting for no ideology or homeland and he doesn't have an excuse beyond "so what" compared to another character who at least acknowledges they're ride or die for their found family.

Amuro instead gets defined by being the Hero who most episodes have him save the day, and not often in too interesting of a manner.

So this leaves the rest of the white base crew with not much to do as they wait for Goku... I mean Amuro to finish off the villain for them. Sometimes they're allowed to be the main character but all too often they're here to handle the background fighting.

I'll say I enjoy Sayla and even Kai's eventual arc's, though it takes almost 30 episodes for the latter to get his and until that point I legitimately wanted him to die off and I'm normally fine with Heel allies in these types of shows because most of the time they're written to showcase why they're like that. Kai is just insufferable until that point and he then rarely gets to save the day on his own afterwards.

Sayla meanwhile has a lot going on with her playing catchup at being a pilot midway through the story in an attempt to get close to her brother, Char, which considering he has his own great story going on really helps elevate her. I don't have many notes here other than it feels odd that she never gets her own mobile suit and fades away after this series, but she's the one side character I feel like I'd miss if I'd gone for the compilation movies instead of watching the series proper.

Well maybe Commander Bright qualifies too, as he's fascinating. A 19 year old who is the only military officer on board at first who still is unqualified for the role he's found himself in who struggles to hold the crew together. Him being tied as strongly to the overall plot allows him to develop over the course of the series and makes him standout.

Of the remaining main characters:

Fraw Bow, Amuro's childhood friend, quickly becomes irrelevant

Hayato doesn't get anything to do until the final couple episodes and it boils down to an inferiority complex

Mirai suffers from some great 70's/80's anime writing of women that's somehow slightly better than your average writing of female characters in shounen or isekai these days until it's time to talk about her love life

Ryu is a big guy in anime who does what you expect a big guy in anime on the good guys side to do

Slegger is introduced right near the end and is a chauvinist disruption to the crew's dynamic towards the end that the show makes me want to believe went through the same development as Kai did around the midway point but never really gets the time to be likeable in the same way

The three children who the show desperately wants me to agree should be on the military base headed into battle because they're family through justifying them helping the crew once every 12 episodes or so. I feel like my opinions here should be self explanatory

They just don't resonate with me at all that much in the end. The protagonist side ends up fairly flat because of this, with the antagonist side being made up of the Zabi family, Char, about 2 or 3 arc villains who last at least 3 episodes, and villains of the week who die often the same episode they appear in.

It's no surprise that like almost everyone else, I enjoy Char the most, but acknowledge how the story's rushed conclusion sees him declaring that his vengeance for the Zabis doesn't matter and that he must kill Amuro to within 2 minutes of that exact statement saying "I now realize the Zabis are the true enemies" with no one making a speech that actually gets through to him. Beyond that however, Char remains a fantastic character with more depth than expected who had his own arc and motivations that didn't always revolve around the protagonists and makes for an enjoyable part of the show to watch.

The Whole Love Triangle Subplot

And I've been avoiding the Laylah in the room, the woman at the center of Char and Amuro fully becoming each other's true rivals and the start of the introduction of Jedi to the series.

Yes if you don't know, Universal Century has Jedi, they're called Newtypes and while they do try to foreshadow it early on, it abruptly comes out of left field in the final 8 or so episodes and takes over every aspect of the plot. It didn't fully gel with me but it worked well enough.

My issue with Laylah is instead the love triangle that abruptly occurs and Amuro's entire motivations changing during the fight with her to be solely about how he's in love with her. While him getting bad crushes is not new to the series it's a two way thing that also comes out of nowhere for a single episode with Laylah who until this point has been solely motivated by Char and the entirety of the pivotal episode that defines the rest of Universal Century regarding this had me shaking my head with the knowledge that this was doing nothing for me. It sucked and I couldn't feel anything and this is going to be massively important for future series.

I literally knew the exact plot beats that were occurring and part of why I was watching this show was to see it in action and it just didn't work out at all. Performance wasn't the issue, the pacing, lead up, the abrupt "we were destined to be together", and lack of any interaction or introspection of Amuro and Laylah's feelings about each other just sabotage the scene and its effects entirely. You can understand what the scene is going for but it doesn't stick its landing.

Sure I grokked the Char side of things in the ensuing aftermath of the fight, but as for the moment itself, it fell flat.

The Animation

Look, this is really easy: The animation aged harder than anything else. This turns into a larger problem when it intersects the structure problems I talked about earlier where episodes are very Villain of the Week and are resolved by Amuro Mercs a Man.

That being that a lot of episodes are centered around a fight scene in the mechas, and those fights don't hold up great. It's not the worst animation you'll ever see, but when it feels like it's meant to be the core of the episode and it's underwhelming, it drags the show down.

Geewoners

Part of why I decided to put my thoughts together on this series is that in looking for other Gundam series to watch, I've seen plenty of people's ratings on other shows in the franchise and listened to them explain why a show that others rave about fell apart for them, and I realized something when I was reflecting on this show: With the exception of "aliens", almost every thing that killed another show dead for them is present in this show in some way. It's a mess of creative decisions that are divisive and drive away viewers but it's still rated highly by its fans. And I wanted to see it through to understand that.

One thing I should explain is that I am a Transformers fan who got into that series because of reruns of its original work and therefore have experience with something that fandom likes to call Geewoners, people who are superfans of the original show. The term itself tends to get a negative connotation because they insist that the show is better than anything else in the franchise, and I can't help but see reflections of that in this fanbase.

G1 of Transformers is an aged piece of media meant to sell toys. It had an amazing amount of thought put into its world for a show that was basically there to sell you a robot that is also a truck. And some episodes are great ideas that are given life by colorful and memorable characters. It's also extremely cheaply animated with mistakes all over it because of the way it was produced.

And like MSG, it's also foundational for what came after. It's hard to comprehend Transformers in its entirety without looking at G1 at some point. But it's understood that it has aged and that it's important to acknowledge that for newcomers.

Aged media is an interesting subject, because you have to acknowledge on simple fact: there's a lot of things competing for your time these days, and a lot of things that have been done poorly have ended up being done better even by their own franchises, so why should you watch something older if something newer and better exists?

In part, the answer is academic. And I don't just mean looking at something purely to write out a report or an overly long social media post on the subject. I mean that sometimes it's important to consume media to understand other media as well as yourself.

While I spent a good amount of time berating the show for its format, it should be noted that it was done in an era where it wasn't assured you could see the reruns, so missing the part 1 or part 2 of a multipart episode was a bigger deal. Thus it choosing this format is not a dumb decision on its part, but rather something necessary. It still ages the material and I'd argue that makes it harder for newer viewers to enjoy it as much. While it's possible to acknowledge that this format fits its era, it's equally important to discuss that viewing it as a modern viewer, it holds back your enjoyment of it.

Meeting media on the terms it was made is a complicated matter. Everything makes compromises and nothing is made in a vacuum, but that doesn't change the viewer's experience of it. You could argue the merits of changing the score to be weighed in light of that, but I kept it to the more shocking number of 5/10 because that's still a valid takeaway. It's an approximation of how I felt when I ended it, where I thought I had equally as many complaints as I did enjoyment of the material.

It's equally as important to understand material as it is to see media without the history or the understanding of landscape at the time, as it can be consume in either manner.

It's also worth remembering someone else's opinions don't invalidate your own experiences. MSG can be good to you and mean a lot because of your own experience with it even while to me I see it's age.

And aged media involving robots isn't just limited to 80s cartoons. I want to take a brief moment to talk about the fact that one of the hardest other recommendations you can give for mecha anime is Evangelion despite what the anime community believes due to its status. Eva is amazingly influential but that alone also damns it. Everything mecha made after it pulls from it, and as is often the case that means returning to it often makes it hard for those who grew up with its successors to understand why it's so good. If you get into any video essays on video gaming that stray anywhere close to Resident Evil 4, you'll hear this subject a lot.

Still it's hard to talk about the giants that everyone stands on the shoulders of being anything but great for someone. How can someone not enjoy the experience of something as important as they are? And the answer does often boil down to: experiencing something well after it came out or consuming media after consuming those it influenced is a different experience entirely.

I'll say this: there's a lot of nostalgia rose tinting going on when discussing Mobile Suit Gundam. I maintain it's a hard watch for people that have no attachment. Hell, the fact that I made it through was in part due to me having an attachment to the franchise as a whole.

But also I did make it through this show. It's 43 episodes and despite me consuming it at a snails pace at times and being incredibly frustrated with it in a variety of ways, it was something I could still finish. And while I stand by all my criticism above, I have to acknowledge its merits.

Okay, Time to be Nice to Grandpa

I'm not going to talk about the historical significance of the show. Others are better versed on that have made posts you can search and find. I'm not even going to discuss that this is the foundation of the Universal Century because that's not important to the experience of viewing it.

Instead I want to talk about the fact that despite the pacing issues and the performances and the animation, the story of the show is at its core an interesting examination of a ragtag crew who end up as the unlikely heroes that help end a war.

Core ideas of plots throughout the show are enthralling in ways that are hard to explain so I'll give examples:

Char's original misunderstanding that base is crewed by special forces and his attempts to understand why they're using such odd tactics

The fact that the show plays with the idea that the titular mech begins out as overpowered and everyone else is quickly catching up to it and Amuro needs to learn to use it properly before the gap it provided at the start is shortened completely

The way the Earth Federation treats the White Base, first with indifference since their attention is elsewhere to treating them as a decoy after they realize Zeon is overly concerned about the base, to finally having to depend on them. The Crew's relationship with the military as a whole is interesting to see play out

The way supply lines are actually part of the show ranging from an early episode where the threat of Char being able to resupply could effectively end their escape from him to having to figure out how to rest and repair in hostile areas

While I don't think it sticks the landing since it had to rush the arc, the way Newtypes begin to change warfare the same way the mobile suits early on had shows the war ramp up at its tail end with both sides becoming more desperate

The animation improves towards the end and becomes far more coherent even if some of the final battles are definitely stretching the budget

While I've mentioned the animation's quality, there are plenty of good standout moments even early on, mostly when mechs are exploding

The mecha design is great. While some of it definitely looks awkward, they're all captivating and the villain of the week format did allow for a lot of different designs (which in the end did save the franchise since it sold enough model kits)

The way the show handled death as something sudden and abrupt is different than almost every other mech show out there. Danger feels real most of the time and the fact that almost no one gets a parting speech even if their mech doesn't immediately explode adds to a realistic feeling that doesn't cross the line of "too grim"

The show manages to find a balance where the protagonists feel important but not as though they're destined to end the war. Even as the ending ramps things up, it feels as though circumstances work out the way they do without feeling contrived. They end up at the final battle because Zeon used its last superweapon on the larger fleet and that final battle worked the way it did because of infighting and just enough tactics to find the right place to hit. It doesn't feel like the Death Star as much as an actual military battle.

Things like these keep the show watchable for reasons beyond just "you gotta appreciate the classics" or "well you need to watch it to understand what comes next", especially in an era where every detail of what happens is recorded in text for you to read on a wiki or a fan site.

MSG is not something I think everyone can love, but I think there are things in there that most people can appreciate beyond just the anime that shows the One Year War or being the official start of the Gundam Franchises' history book.

After all, there have been novelizations, video game adaptations, and other material that adapts the story and summaries of its events. But the show and its compilation movies remain with enough solid material there of worth that they're something you can chew through.

Wrapping Up

This is one of the longer posts I've made. Probably the longest I've actually posted in literal years. But this was inspired primarily because the frustration I experienced with wanting to enjoy this as much as others did. It was inspired by listening to critics dissect the other shows in the franchise extremely harshly only to turn around and sing praises of the Ur-entry in the series and wondering if it held up to the hype.

My journey was inspired by me wanting to consume exactly one work in the Universal Century Timeline and realizing when I looked at another along the way that I would be lost without starting earlier on and setting myself up for a longer journey than I wanted.

I feel like I understand not just Gundam, but also Mecha in general better. It's interesting to see what was abandoned along the way, as from episode one the idea of them actually using a mech that's stronger than everything else seems like an unbearable powerfantasy that the genre outgrew only to watch them utilize the trope in an interesting way over the 43 episode run. But at the same time I watched as it fumbled episodes or arcs that I've seen other shows nail.

When I finished the show, I let out the biggest sigh of relief at having finished it, but it also left me hungry for more content from the timeline.

Despite the flaws, it didn't drive me away. Despite the fact that it literally took me months to finish, I felt like continuing and not just jumping to another timeline or franchise entirely.

But I still maintain a lot of my feelings that I did from the beginning. It's rough, it's hard to recommend, and I'd never start a newer fan here. I still hate how central it is to being able to look at most of the rest of its timeline with those other labels on it, but I can't fully bring myself to recommend a complete alternative to it either.

I feel like it would be a niche recommendation if it wasn't central to what came next or if it wasn't first out the gate, something only for those really interested in the series to check out, but also it's something that I feel like still might be worth checking out on those merits, even with a huge amount of caveats attached.

In the end, I can't really give a general recommendation for if Mobile Suit Gundam is the type of show for you other than this: If you ever find yourself enjoying Gundam, at some point I feel it's worth looking at in some manner. Maybe like me you'll need to have it running while doing other things. Maybe you'll only be able to do it in the compilation movie format. Maybe you'll need to go with a novelization or some new version of it.

But the story ideas and some of the plot directions are captivating and worth looking at.

Just don't start here.

[gumnut-logic]

Rant warning

I swore I would never be a whiney or complaining fan. I’m extremely open minded and accept all ideas and angles and pairings and I’ve been in fandom a long time.

But never have I ever had such a bad emotional reaction to new fandom canon material in my life.

I’ve been a Trekkie for nearly forty years and I have adored it in all its incarnations, including the latest movies and the AOS reboot. Jim Kirk and crew will be beloved until the day I die.

But the last few years haven’t been as much fun.

I was excited for Star Trek Discovery only to drop it four episodes in, bewildered that it seemed to be good sci-fi, but something was missing. I figured some people might like it, but I didn’t consider it Trek at all, so turned my back on it.

Rumour had it that it got better as each season came along, but I was wary and didn’t bother with it for ages.

Then Picard came into play and I thought, ooh, this could be interesting, but even before I watched the first ep, someone warned me that if I didn’t like Discovery, I likely wouldn’t like Picard. So I stuck with the fandom I was playing in at the time and let the show grow, with the intention of maybe looking at it some day.

And then Strange New Worlds was announced. Pike! I knew this story! With the Enterprise and everything, there was talk of returning to the older type of Trek and I finally decided to reach out and try it.

Strange New Worlds is a return to the older way with new effects and so far, its okay. I think it is worth giving it a chance. So I watched all ten eps and enjoyed them. Yay, finally more Trek.

But then I ran out of episodes.

In SNW there are lots of mentions of events that happened in Discovery, so grudgingly I jumped into that show, looking for the roots of the Pike and Spock plotlines. I skipped season one altogether and watched the majority of season two until I go so bored, I dropped it in disgust. Michael Burnham is just ugh and tends to be the answer to just about everything. I believe the term is Mary Sue and none of the characters bar Pike drew my interest at all. Even Spock didn’t feel right.

Fine, okay, the show might float some people’s boats, but I could live without it, whatever. I’m all for peeps enjoying their thing.

Then I tried Picard.

I’m sorry, but the bloody show has traumatised me in ways I never thought a Star Trek show ever could. It is so depressing! Where is the hope????? The key to the world that is Star Trek? Hubby pointed out that the story was based on the fringes of the Federation - you know, the outer rim - sound familiar? I love Star Wars, hell, I adore the Mandalorian, but that kind of world does not belong in Star Trek! Yes, there would be edges of the society, but Picard himself said in First Contact that they had a world without money, he described a Utopia, so what the hell was this sudden injection of Star Wars into the franchise??? Only certain people live in this Utopia???? Does this sound familiar when referring to our current society???

But even that, I could handle. Even in a perfect world things are never 100 percent, and yes, conflict is needed to drive a story in many cases. I could even tolerate the blatant violence, I’m not unused to useless graphic gore, or for that matter unneeded and attention grabbing sex scenes.

But then they started killing off characters. Minor characters yes, but one thing these characters had in common was seeking out the Federation in hope for a better life, and to see their storylines end in brutal murder just broke me.

Call me a wimp, call me old fashioned, hell, just call me old, because I am, but that show is not Trek.

There is no hope. No matter where they turn, horror is all they find. While I understand that the current state of the world sucks and that humanity is facing some of its biggest challenges with Climate Change and the assholes among us, but Star Trek was always a sign of hope. It taught teenage me that humans weren’t the plague on the planet I felt they were, that we could be good, that we were going to get past world war three and there was a brighter future.

Looking at Picard…that’s not a bright future. That’s a reflection of the shit hole we are living in now. And while it is sci-fi, there is no way it is Trek.

What ray of hope are we sending to our children? Imagination is all we have in the darkest of times. Grim reality is all over our screens day in, day out. Trek is supposed to be that window of hope.

Thank goodness, I still have Jimmy and his crew and all the nineties Trek that happened before we gave up hope.

/end rant

I never thought a franchise could ever do this to me. I guess I was wrong.

Nutty

(It hurt, it really did)

[kingy7]

Let's Talk About Wrestling

I am a Geek. I am totally comfortable with this. In fact the older I get the more comfortable I am. Being a Geek comes with its challenges, particularly in ones youth. Being the 'Star Trek' kid at school isn't fun. However as one grows and those around them do too, it becomes less of a taboo to discuss love of all things geeky. More so now perhaps than ever as franchises like Marvel and Doctor Who become more and more mainstream.

However there is one area of my Geekiness that still baffles people, one passion of mine that many simply cannot understand and one that still carries a stigma. You see, I am a proud Geek but I'm also a wrestling fan.

Let's take a look at the three stages of my wrestling origin story:

There's always a new fad when you're a kid. He-Man, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers. Pop culture phenomena that spring seemingly out of nowhere, become the driving force of playground life then disappear without trace save for a mild embarrassment that we ever enjoyed them in the first place. And so it was in 1991 when suddenly all anyone wanted to talk about was wrestling. Specifically WWF wrestling as that was the only type most could watch in those days. I don't recall exactly what piqued my interest. It was as if one day I knew that wrestling was the next big thing and that I had to be invested in it. The cool action figures may have played a part too. In fact, I owned an Ultimate Warrior figure before I knew who he was or indeed how bad he was. That latter realisation wouldn't come until phase two of my wrestling journey but we're getting ahead of ourselves.

We were lucky enough to have Sky TV as this was the only way to watch WWF in those days. Again I have no memory of how exactly it transpired but somehow I was aware that SummerSlam was showing on Sky Movies (not Sky Sports, that should have been a clue) and as it was broadcast at 1AM my Dad taped it and the next day I watched my first wrestling show.

Incidentally having Sky TV had the knock on effect of making those who had the service the centre of our fledgling wrestling communities. My neighbour would regularly 'call round' to watch the events as would friends from school in the years that followed.

SummerSlam '91 was a curious PPV (Pay Per View, American Audiences had to pay for each event whereas in the UK they were shown for 'free' on Sky) in that it features a 'double main event'! One of these events wasn't even a match at all in the traditional sense, it was a wedding. The pun being that the participants were a 'match made in heaven'. The other featured as a tag team the two biggest stars in wrestling at the time Hulk Hogan and the life size version of my action figure - The Ultimate Warrior.

What struck me immediately was how clearly drawn the characters were. I could tell instantly who I was supposed to cheer and who deserved my boos. Early in the show The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase cut a promo (wrestling speak for yammering on the microphone) and I turned to my Dad and said "I don't want him to win because he thinks having money makes him better than everyone else". Little did I know this was the first time I would be successfully 'worked' by a wrestler.

Later in the show I would find some new favorites. Brett Hart, The Bushwackers and of course our countryman The British Bulldog.

I was taken in by the spectacle of it all. The over the top action, the hysterical commentary and the larger than life characters. I was certain to watch the next show. I was so invested that I felt the need to stand during the 'wedding' section of the show. Something I have never confessed to anyone.

It's worth noting that SummerSlam '91 does not hold up to modern scrutiny displaying as it does homophobia and racism. These are tropes that to this day are not entirely absent from wrestling and will always cause me conflict.

Over the next few years WWF became a way of life. I watched the shows, collected the trading cards and action figures and even attended a live event. Such was its grip on British popular culture that one year on from my introduction SummerSlam '92 was held in Wembley Stadium. Absent from that show was Hulk Hogan.

And with Hulk eventually would go my interest in the 'sport'. He became my hero, and as the whole show was built around him it was hard to accept anyone else as the 'top guy'. I soldiered on for a while before stopping watching at SummerSlam '93 almost exactly two years after I'd started.

And as so many fads do, wrestling in the UK became a forgotten past time. Never spoken of at school and regarded with scorn for the poor souls who still watched it.

The question I was asked most over those years, usually by adults, was "Don't you know it's fake?". Yes I did. Everyone told me frequently enough. But I chose to ignore it. I chose to pretend it was real. This is something that non fans seem unable to grasp. Wrestling is no more fake than films and as a result can be no less real if you choose to allow it to be. Maybe we'll take a closer look at that another time.

The next time I watched wrestling was in 1998. Five years may not seem like a long time but the difference between a 12 year old and a 17 year old is like a lifetime.

Had you asked me at that age if I had any interest in wrestling I may well have laughed. It was a part of my childhood, that I now viewed with an ironic detachment. I looked down on younger me who had been taken in by this fake sport. I had no idea that I was about to become a fan for life.

It started with a video game. WWF Warzone. Myself and my friends has been playing it on the N64 and enjoying the fighting mechanics and the characters. We were surprised to see some old favorites in there, The Undertaker, The Bulldog and Brett Hart. Then as we played more we came up with the idea of maybe watching an event for old times sake. See what it was like now?

That event was Survivor Series '98 and it could not have been a better re-introduction.

What we didn't know at the time was that the WWF title had been vacated (It was this whole thing with The Undertaker and Kane and Stone Cold Steve Austin) and so the whole event would be a tournament to crown the new champion. It's rare that a wrestling show has one story over the whole night and even rarer that it's so accessible for an audience who haven't watched in years. Through the tournament format we got to know most of the main characters and saw how they related to each other. We saw the planting of seeds for future rivalries and the twists and turns that were now central to the narrative. I've often wondered if we'd have chosen the previous month's show or the one after if we'd have been as hooked.

But hooked we were, as Survivor Series introduced us to a new generation of grapplers, the aforementioned Steve Austin, Mankind and The Rock being standouts. The latter of course would become one of the most famous people in the world but here he was just getting into his groove as a bad guy. His betrayal of the fans at the end of the show was what compelled us to watch the next episode. The sudden turn with seemingly no reason left an unresolved cliffhanger that demanded an answer. This was where I really started to think about wrestling from a story telling perspective. As a kid it was all about the superheroic characters, but this was different. It was as if the matches served mainly to drive the story onward and the soap opera like sagas were the real draw. I began to think about the wrestlers as playing pieces and the writer as a chess master whose job it was to position them ready for their next match.

Since that event I have barely missed a monthly PPV. My interest has waxed and waned but even at times when i've been unable to watch the shows, I've maintained an interest and followed the story. There have been major lulls in wrestling over the years since. The Cena years were a struggle and the less said about Roman Reigns before he was a bad guy, the better. However the third turning point in my wrestling journey would come not from the stalwart WWE (they got the F out) but from a new company called AEW.

You see WWE had gotten pretty boring by the 2010's. There were no big stars who captured the imagination and the in-ring style was familiar to the point of tedium. I kept an eye on the developments and watched Wrestlemania every year but there was no passion for it in me anymore.

That would change when I heard that there was a new company opening its doors, one that promised to be an alternative, to deliver exactly the kind of entertainment that WWE was not.

It took me a while to get into it if I'm honest. The style was different and the action spectacular but it was so far removed from what I'd thought of as 'wrestling' that I found myself struggling to follow it.

Then something clicked and everything I'd been missing since the heady days of the 'attitude era' was back. Not just back but better. And through AEW I discovered different styles of wrestling and began learning more about its history.

I still watch AEW weekly, I have attended one of their shows as well as local British shows and I would say that my love of wrestling as an art form is at an all time high.

I know many people will still laugh but wrestling is something I care about. It's a form of storytelling that can't be seen elsewhere and above all I love stories. Whether they're written in a book by a novelist or told in the ring by enormous muscled maniacs.

[thealmightyemprex]

Good Vibes Challange :12 Tasks of Asterix

@ariel-seagull-wings @goodanswerfoxmonster @amalthea9 @filmcityworld1 @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @princesssarisa @angelixgutz

So @ariel-seagull-wings reccomended four movies,and I knew instantly I wanted to watch Allegro Non Troppo .....Problem is I couldnt find the film either completed or with subtitles .So I went with my second choice :!2 Tasks of Asterix

So ASterix is one of those franchises adored all over the world......Except in America ,and I'm an American .For some reason it just never has become a big deal over here ,and while I have seen people talk about it ,I have had no personal experience with Asterix .....And thats why I chose it,I wanted to know why Asterix is so beloved

Oh and I watched the English dub cause it was on Amazon

So the plot of this 1976 film is simple ,a bunch of Gauls are giving the Romans trouble ,so the Romans theorize the Gauls might be Gods .Julius Ceasar says they must prove it ,by having the warriors Asterix and OBelix accomplish 12 impossible tasks akin to those Hercules did

...Well I enjoyed this a LOT . I think if like me ,your not familiar with this franchise its a good watch.It lays out everything you need to know: The Gauls have a potion that makes them invincible ,Asterix is the best warrior,Obelix is his buddy who fell into the potion as a baby and Julius Ceasar is our bad guy ,this is all said in the opening scene and then the film can focus on the humor ,and I gotta say the film does make me wanna check out more Asterix stuff

The whole film gave me a Looney Tunes vibe,with Asterix remindindg me of a less sassy less intentionally antagonistic bugs Bunny and with a dose of Popeye

The animation is good,its a lil rough but I think the film looks very good

For a 70's Dub the voiceacting is pretty darn good ,and I think the performances of Sean Barrett (Who I know as the voices of The Dying Master in Dark Crystal and Tik Tok in Return to Oz ) as Asterix and Michael Kilgariff as Obelix (Who I know for voicing the General in Dark Chrystal and for a few appearences in Doctor Who most notably as the Robot in Tom Bakers first story Robot ) are reallly spot on,I really liked their performances

Julius Ceasar was a fun villain ,the side characters were enjoyable (My fave being Getafix ) ,theres some metajoke I loved ,I like the diffrent tasks ,but by far the funniest scene for me was their most difficult task,a task that drives people mad.....Getting a permit .Its a whole sequence of these warriors dealing with beaurocracy ,it had me in stitches

Overall this was a very good time so highly reccomendedc

[adamwatchesmovies]

Legally Blondes (2009)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Calling Legally Blondes an insult might sound like an overreaction, but hear me out. This film is cheap, badly acted and poorly written. It attempts to cash-in on the popularity of Legally Blonde while featuring none of the characters we fell in love with. Worst of all, it doesn't even understand the appeal of the series, meaning it had no chance of pleasing its intended audience.

Elle’s twin cousins, Annabelle “Annie” and Isabelle “Izzy” Woods (Camilla and Rebecca Rosso) move to America with their father to study at Pacific Preparatory. Their love of punk and family reputation draws the ire of Headmistress Elsa Higgins (Lisa Banes) while the school bully, Tiffany Donohugh (Brittany Curran), sets out to get them expelled.

This is clearly another script re-worked to be part of the Legally Blonde franchise. The twins are not attending law school, they’re given chihuahuas at the beginning but the dogs play no part in the story and there are no familiar faces to be found. Not even Elle. That’s right. Reese Witherspoon does not make an appearance. References to her character are made and the twins stay in her home while she’s away but if you sit through the end credits hoping to see a cameo, you’ll be disappointed. Instead, you’ll see something I’ve never seen before: the movie’s deleted scenes. They play while the names scroll. I guess director Savage Steve Holland knew no one would bother to check out this disaster’s special features but wanted us to see them nonetheless.

2001's Legally Blonde is not a perfect comedy but it has a lot of appeal. Although she didn’t fit initially, Elle had a good head on her shoulders. She had a few things to learn but ultimately, law school was where she belonged. The same can’t be said for the twins. It’s obvious to everyone watching that Tiffany hates them but every time the conniving brat approaches the sisters to give “helpful advice”, they accept it. Her true colours are first revealed when the girls show up at a party in inappropriate outfits. Sound familiar? I’d say spoiler but if you’ve seen Legally Blonde you saw that one coming. You’ll see everything coming, in fact. Izzy and Annie are introduced with title cards that describe what their character arcs will be. One can’t stand public speaking. The other is terrible at history. How profound.

You’ll be so bored you’ll want to stab yourself in the leg just to stay awake. Legally Blondes does nothing interesting until 2/3 of the way in when the plot FINALLY kicks off. It’s a school trial. Ah, so that’s where the title comes from. Took you long enough. This is where the film could have earned itself some points. At least now there’s a clear thread to follow. There are stakes and in theory, figuring out how our heroines will win the case should be fun. Too bad the screenplay by Chad Gomez Creasey and Dara Resnik Creasey can’t even do that right. The jokes are so terribly executed you won’t understand the punchlines until the movie is a distant memory and certain ideas introduced earlier that should be important turn out to be useless, making you feel like you're wasting your time paying attention.

Legally Blondes has no reason to exist. It won’t please fans of the series, it won’t win over anyone who didn’t like Elle previously. The apathy everyone had for the project is obvious. There are numerous logical gaps, the funny jokes are rarer than four-leaf clovers and there’s little to like. I’d say there’s nothing to like but it does get slightly better as it goes along. Not enough for me to recommend, mind you. Not to anyone. Not ever. (July 31, 2020)

[albertonykus]

Doraemon Movie Review: Stand by Me Doraemon (2014)

What is Doraemon? The title character of the Doraemon manga and anime is a blue robotic cat from the 22nd Century who keeps an array of high-tech gadgets in a portable pocket dimension on his belly, and has traveled from the future to improve the fortunes of a hapless schoolboy named Nobita. Although relatively obscure in the English-speaking world, Doraemon is a Mickey-Mouse-level cultural icon in East Asia (and some other regions, too). The Doraemon franchise was a big part of my childhood, and there are still elements of it that I enjoy now.

Doraemon has released theatrical films almost annually since 1980, most of which involve Nobita and his friends (kind Shizuka, brash Gian, and crafty Suneo) getting swept into adventures thanks to Doraemon's gadgets. Despite being of potentially broad appeal to fans of science fiction and animated films, there are very few English reviews of the Doraemon movies, so I'm embarking on a project to write about all the films that have come out so far. Good luck to me…

Movie premise: A retelling of some of the most iconic stories from the Doraemon manga, woven into a continuous narrative and represented using 3D computer-generated imagery.

My spoiler-free take: Unpopular opinion time: I’m not a big fan of this movie. It doubles down on some of the less tasteful elements of the source material, and other than the 3D imagery, it does not stand out much from previous anime adaptations of the same stories.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT

Review: And now for something completely different! This is a special Doraemon movie that not only has a distinct art style and story structure from typical films in the franchise, but was released independently of the annual Doraemon movie lineup (coming out during the same year as the remake of Nobita and the Haunts of Evil). This approach evidently paid off, because Stand by Me Doraemon is the highest-grossing Doraemon film to date, earning over $183 million at the box office. It and its eventual sequel are also the most internationally accessible Doraemon works—as of the time of writing, they are the only Doraemon movies available on American and British Netflix, and are among the few to have received official English dubbing and subtitles.

All of that probably sets some lofty expectations. From what I’ve seen, plenty of viewers loved this movie. As for me though... to be honest, as someone who was already familiar with the stories adapted into this movie thanks to either the manga or classic anime, my initial impression of Stand by Me Doraemon was that it seemed like a straightforward compilation of stories I knew, except with slightly creepier character designs. Don’t get me wrong; the character models here are far from the worst examples I’ve seen of 2D characters being converted into 3D, but I still found them a bit uncanny. Doraemon’s gadgets, on the other hand, look very good in this film.

Upon further reflection, however, I think there’s more that bothers me about this movie than just the art style. I don’t plan on writing an in-depth analysis, but probably the most obvious flaw with the narrative here is how it handles Shizuka’s role in the story. I’ve made no secret of the fact that the Doraemon franchise can sometimes come across as antiquated if not downright misogynistic in its treatment of Shizuka. (Really, just the fact that there’s only one girl on the main cast stands out as an increasingly archaic trope nowadays. And before anyone points out that I’ve been guilty of this in my own work: yes, I’m well aware of it.) That’s not to say that Shizuka has never been characterized in compelling ways, but the fact that she has makes the sexism all the more jarring. I’m not pointing this out as an excuse to hate on Doraemon (I probably wouldn’t have written 30 individualized reviews for a franchise I hated), nor to suggest that the original manga be considered without its cultural and historical context. However, for a long-running franchise like this, recent works can (and should be) evaluated on how they adapt these elements of the source material based on modern standards.

Those who know Doraemon lore well are likely aware that one of the most dramatic changes to Nobita’s life due to Doraemon’s arrival is that Nobita and Shizuka end up married in the future (whereas originally, Nobita was fated to marry Gian’s sister, Jaiko). There are sound criticisms that could be leveled at how that storyline was written in the manga, but Stand by Me Doraemon performs worse here than the source material in at least one major way: it treats Shizuka as essentially nothing more than a prize for Nobita to win. In this movie, Doraemon makes it his explicit goal to ensure that Nobita and Shizuka get together, with little regard for how Shizuka feels about the whole thing. Meanwhile in the manga, even though Doraemon’s presence results in Nobita and Shizuka marrying, and the marriage is by all appearances meant to be a happy one, Doraemon never to my knowledge claims that this is the specific outcome he is striving for. In fact, let’s take a look at what classic Doraemon’s reaction is when Nobita gets agitated about the possibility that his future might change yet again and he won’t get to marry Shizuka...

(The grammar in these unofficial subtitles isn’t great, but you can probably get the gist. This comes from the 1999 adaptation of “Nobita’s the Night Before a Wedding”. A similar exchange occurs in the original 1981 manga.)

Speaking of the classic anime, I can’t help but feel that most of the stories adapted in Stand by Me Doraemon had already been done justice in previous anime renditions. I found the 1998 adaptation of “Goodbye, Doraemon” and 1999 adaptation of “Nobita’s the Night Before a Wedding” to be more enjoyable than this film, for instance. In “Nobita’s the Night Before a Wedding” (1999), it’s believable when Shizuka’s father appraises Nobita as a kind and compassionate person, because the episode takes the time to show Nobita doing nice things for others throughout. In Stand by Me Doraemon, the same statement is a more difficult pill to swallow.

Granted, an anime episode that can devote all 25 minutes of its runtime to a single storyline is not strictly comparable to a movie that has to fit seven stories into an hour and a half. At the same time, that highlights another limitation of Stand by Me Doraemon. Although Nobita can often be unlikable in the regular series, at least the sheer volume and diversity of stories provide him with opportunities to display other facets of his character, giving his friendships with Doraemon and Shizuka slightly more depth and credibility. Stand by Me Doraemon is tasked with introducing the premise of the entire franchise and constructing a complete arc out of a set of pre-selected, largely standalone stories in the time frame allotted to a standard animated film, leaving little room for asides or tangents that could potentially flesh out the characters beyond their most basic core traits.

At the end of the day, Stand by Me Doraemon is such an atypical Doraemon entry that I cannot truly recommend it as an introduction to the franchise. Simultaneously, its value to hardcore Doraemon fans also seems questionable (though I suspect that many of those same fans would disagree with me there!) given that the stories it’s based on have been adapted multiple times over, often in more satisfying ways. I can guess at a large part of why the movie has been so successful, however: the retelling of classic stories using “modernized” graphics probably appeals especially to those who are nostalgic for Doraemon but haven’t revisited the franchise in a long time, a demographic that most likely represents the majority of the audience in regions where the franchise is popular.

Star rating: ★★☆☆☆

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Percy Jackson opinions? (I dont go here im just curious)

aaaa gladly! I just finished rereading The House of Hades and am buzzing, I love this series so much!!!

I originally read the percy jackson books from when I was around 12/13 and was super into them at the time. And even now that I'm 23, I still enjoy them so so much. For one, I just think these books are such a fun read. The pacing is so good, and I think Rick Riordan does a great job of writing both interesting, loveable characters and interesting plots, and balances the two so well.

Honestly in general I just admire how he writes characters. Every single character feels really fleshed out and well written, even ones who aren't like main characters. Like in the Heroes of Olympus series, Nico, Reyna, Hedge they aren't like the main characters, but they still are given a lot of really good character moments and we find out enough about all of them that still makes them feel as fleshed out as the main characters!

And for the actual main characters, again I just think he writes them so well. Every single one of them feels unique, with their own stories and character arcs. Heroes of Olympus literally has 7 main characters, and personally I don't feel as though any of them are better written/more focused on than others.

Of course, I am still a stereotypical gay person and can admit that my fav character is Nico (who could've guessed that I would love the depressed gay character) but I do genuinely love all the characters. I've seen some people say that they find Jason boring or unlikeable, and I am personally ready to fight them. I wouldn't say he's my absolute favourite, but he's also really fun and kind, and his friendship with Nico makes me want to gnaw on something.

I'm really excited to reread the last Heroes of Olympus book, and then the Trials of Apollo. Might reread The Sun and The Star afterwards as well tbh, even though I only read it a few months ago. All these books are such a joy to read, and they're all so well written. Genuinely hope to one day write something even half as interesting and good!

I don't even really know what else to say. I just really really love these books! They've also gotten me to read a lot more this year than I've managed to on other years so yay!

I'm also looking forward to the show continuing. I wasn't the biggest fan of s1, though I more blame Disney and today's streaming era of giving shows only like 8 episodes per season. I think most of the shows problems could've been solved if it had more episodes, because it definitely felt rushed and like the characters just knew what they were getting into the whole time. But hey, at least its not the pjo movies! I do hope s2 is better, and am especially excited for a (hopeful) s3 since I'd say the 3rd book is my favourite in the PJO franchise.

Anyway yeah, idk what else to say but thank you for the ask! <3

[thetoxicgamer]

Texas Chain Saw Massacre won’t end like Friday 13th, Gun says

Gun Interactive and Sumo Nottingham are the developers of the new Texas Chain Saw Massacre video game, and since the Gun team is well renowned for being huge horror geeks, they are among the ideal candidates to adapt the iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre IP to its own horror game. In case you weren't aware, they are also the creators of the well-known Friday the 13th video game, which tragically had to shut down its servers in 2020 owing to license complications. According to Gun's creative director Ronnie Hobbs in an interview with PCGamesN, the Slaughter Family won't end up like Jason Vorhees and his mother. “The situation surrounding Friday the 13th was inherently more complicated than it is with Texas,” says Hobbs. “With Texas, we are dealing directly with Kim Henkel, the sole owner of the IP. We’ve been working closely with him during the entire process not only from a creative standpoint, but also a legal one. We have been as diligent as possible during this entire experience to ensure things go smoothly.” While Hobbs couldn’t go into detail about what went down with Friday the 13th, it seems the team has learnt from the experience, making sure things are more secure with the Texas Chainsaw IP – especially since the process is such a two-way street. “After the success of Friday the 13th,” continues Hobbs, “we had a lot of potential suitors contacting us about turning their IP into games. We spent quite a while sorting through and weighing our options before finally being introduced to Kim Henkel. Once we discovered that both sides had an immense interest in creating a game, we quickly knew Texas was going to be our next project.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAyQw3GT5GI The story of the Texas Chain Saw Massacre game actually takes place just before the events of the 1974 film; a prequel, of sorts. However, familiar locations like the family house and the gas station take center stage in the game’s maps. Hopefully, with Kim Henkel so involved in the production, there is room for new content to be added in the future. However, setting the game before the movie allows for new original content, too. “Having the game set a few months before the original 1974 film allows us to create new characters without being bound too tightly by the entire franchise,” Hobbs tells me. When we ask what this means for the other films in the franchise, he hints, “Obviously, as things move forward, we hope to expand out if possible, so you never know what the future holds. Film rights are obviously a complicated aspect to navigate.” Fans of Gun’s Friday the 13th will be pleased to know that while there are crucial differences regarding the game’s legalities, gameplay similarities are in abundance. If you enjoyed the variety in escape options and frantically searching the house for items, you’ll find the same mechanics in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. There are no cars or boats – yet – but multiple parts are required to open each different exit. As a family member, you can rummage in cupboards and freezers if you suspect a hidden victim is within. Texas does have its own unique angle, though, which is why the game is perfect for multiplayer gameplay – a whole family of killers playing at once. Who knew brutal murderers were such fans of teamwork. If you can’t wait for the Slaughter family to be let loose in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, make sure you know exactly when the game’s release date drops. And if it’s the survival aspect you love most, fill the wait with some other survival games that we can’t get enough of. Read the full article

[thezanyarthropleura]

Sneaky Dinotopia Posting

I still have the first three of the original books (never did get Journey to Chandara) as well as VHS tapings of the first airings of the miniseries (or, ‘Television’s first Mega-Series’ as is billed during the event itself). I remember not getting to watch it live the first night because I was with family at a horse race, however there were small TVs at the venue that were meant to be tuned in to the race, and we snuck a quick change of the channel to catch the very end (the scene with the mosasaurs and the temple). I also managed to catch at least one episode of the 13-episode followup series (Contact, IMO the best one) and I know I read Windchaser at one point, but remember nothing from it. Never knew about the other novels or the games, but I do distinctly remember attending a James Gurney signing, where he had an easel set up and did live drawings. This was after at least the miniseries had aired, as he drew Zippo (from the letters Z and O, although I can’t quite remember how he managed that).

I spotted Quest for the Ruby Sunstone and the live-action series, including unaired episodes, at a rental place once many years ago, but we were there to find a movie to watch with the family, so I didn’t get to see them then. But over the last few days I got out those old VHS’s to watch the miniseries, and found the series on Youtube, and I greatly enjoyed them both (although you kind of have to accept that the series is its own thing, not quite the same as the miniseries and even less like the books). Also watched Quest, and it’s an interesting blend of elements from the miniseries and books into a Land-Before-Time-esque story that happens to also have humans. I found it overall enjoyable even though there are some very strange moments (I think they named a character a slur?!?). Very cool to see the original strutters referenced heavily in an action sequence.

It seems like, to most fans of the franchise, the 13-episode series is either just a footnote or a blanket “it’s bad, don’t watch,” and well, that’s fair, it’s a lot of steps removed from the books to the point it’s hardly recognizable at times. But I still wish more people would talk about it, so here are my favorite parts of the series:

Le Sage. My feelings on the overall concept of the outsiders set aside, she’s an intriguing personality and voice to add into the Dinotopia setting, someone who doesn’t mesh well with the way of things because realistically, there are going to be people who don’t, and not all of them should be unsympathetically so. She’s the definition of a big fish in a small pond, and it can be scary to watch her live on the edge and continue to long for the outside despite what we, the audience, all know is the potential for hurt and danger therein, but mostly I just blame the show’s take on Dinotopia for being overtly traditional and stuck in the past to the point that despite all its positives, apparently some people still don’t feel content, accepted, or taken care of there (which reflects a lot of my personal conflicted feelings on the setting as a whole). I love the way she eventually just inserts herself into the main cast’s adventures as if it’s a way to deal with boredom, and her arc during the two-part The Cure arc becomes legitimately heart-wrenching. If there’s any benefit to the series ending at 13 episodes, it’s that we didn’t have to watch her inevitable Hallmark-style ‘redemption’ where she loses all personality and quietly settles down with someone, probably Frank. Instead, she stays the same free-spirit throughout, with no solid romantic interest that goes anywhere (and, if one reads into things, particularly some overt lines the final episode, maybe a long-lost lesbian love for Rosemary?), and her decision to return to Dinotopia, rather than live out her otherwise-short life seeing as much of the outside world as she can, seems to be a platonic one, with her realizing after sharing an awkward hug with David that these people have become her family.

26. Just seeing her first in the miniseries made an impact. From then on, 26 has always been my favorite number, appearing occasionally at the end of usernames and such. But now I get to discover more than two decades later that she also has some more time to shine in the show, maybe never being in the direct spotlight like in Quest but I was expecting a bit more sidelining in the interest of saving the CGI budget. She has a few important roles in episodes, and the part in The Cure where she escapes and is shown racing toward David and the portal was probably the most genuinely excited I’ve been watching the series, about on par with seeing interaction with the outside world itself.

Zippo/Zipeau. There are a few points, particularly in the early episodes, where his voice is noticeably ‘off’ compared to the miniseries, and while it’s never quite the same, later appearances are significantly better and he does feel mostly like the same character. There’s a humorous arc (in an otherwise strange episode with a questionable Aesop and a vague, off-brand nod to Poseidon of all things) where he runs for mayor on the platform that there should be a bigger library (He got 9 votes I’m SO PROUD OF HIM). To circle back around to Le Sage, as well, some of the later episodes have the two of them begin to tolerate each other (Le Sage being a known dinosaur-hater) and they even get a small moment in The Cure where they save each other’s lives and Le Sage expresses reluctant gratitude. If there’s one downside to the series ending at 13 episodes, it’s that I would’ve liked to see more of these two becoming friends.

Contact. The only episode I recognized as having seen before, so if I saw any others, this was the only one that stuck with me. Probably the most grounded use of the Dinotopia setting (compared to time loops and youth potions and pulling an island-wide ‘It’s a Wonderful Life/Christmas Carol’ ruse…), and it feels like the most real episode of the bunch. Karl finds a radio and wants to use it to get off the island, but instead finds a scenario where he needs to act as a third party directing a rescue ship to survivors stranded on a raft, before they’re caught in the storms surrounding Dinotopia. Tensions are extremely high throughout, especially because Karl has tried so many times no one will ever believe he’s doing anything other than trying to escape.

The Dinosaurs, in general. There are a lot of episodes where it’s clear they were rationing the budget, telling stories that take the focus away from needing to use CGI, but there are just as many episodes where they still decided to go crazy and show dinosaurs just casually existing everywhere. And while I prefer the herbivores any day (Ankylosaurus FTW), and the live-action takes’ portrayals of the carnivores leave a lot to be desired, the T. Rex is still a good example of a dino that only got one scene early on in the miniseries, but features prominently in many episodes of the series. Parasaurolophus is also everywhere, both as guards and overlanders. While sadly there don’t seem to be any new dinosaurs, we do get to see a little bit more of just about every kind from the miniseries.

[andswarwrites]

Day 18

While I have nothing against Star Trek and Star Wars, I feel like they're so "mainstream" as far as science fiction goes that you are expected to hand in your sci-fi nerd card if you don't love either or both.  So when I tell people I like science fiction, I'm expected to be a fan of either franchise. I grew up watching Voyager, so my first captain was Janeway.  I also knew the crew of the original series thanks to the movies which I watched with my family.  After I married S-, he and I watched a few seasons of The Next Generation.  Ah yes, and more recently we watched Picard, but only the first season.  That about sums up my experience with the Trekking of Stars.

As for Star Wars, I watched Episodes 4, 5 and 6 as a teenager when my parents rented them for me from the library.  I had expressed an interest in seeing them.  I enjoyed them, but I didn't get completely absorbed into the universe as I later would with Stargate, and I didn't watch the story unfold with amazement as I would when I watched Babylon 5.  I was not impressed with Episodes 1 to 3, especially not 3; I preferred Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars mini series (2003).  I've played Star Wars as a tabletop game, I've read some of the fiction, and I am such a fan of The Mandalorian that the theme song is my ring tone.

I also enjoyed the quirky randomness of Doctor Who from Doctors 9 to 11. BBC made a movie called An Adventure in Space and Time (2013) which tells the story of how this incredible show came about.  On my to-do list is to watch all of the 26 seasons of the original run from 1964 to 1989.  If you think that is an overwhelming objective, I also want to watch every single episode of One Piece. A girl can dream. 

I'll make the argument that I became a science fiction lover thanks to books, more than anything. When I first read the Foundation series, and then the robot-themed short stories by Isaac Asimov, I was hooked.  Cities in Flight by James Blish, Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card, more recently The Martian by Andy Weir: these are books that make me forget what planet I'm on.  I know technically science fiction is a genre that is supposed to be speculative in its nature, positing how society would be affected if a certain technology existed.  As far as I'm concerned, whether it's set in the future or in space, if it takes me on a fantastic voyage (see what I did there?) I call it sci fi.

When S- bought the boxed set of Firefly and had me watch it while we were dating, he did not know how those fourteen episodes were going to affect me.  For a while, I watched the whole series over with every new season, so that was four times a year.  It got that I could recite entire scenes, playing each character in turn, with the proper inflection in the dialogue and even matching facial expressions.  It's been a while since I watched Firefly, but I'm planning to watch it this summer with N-.  I can't wait to see her reaction.

What I loved about Lost in Space is that it was about a family, and how each one of them was equipped with a separate set of skills, but when they combine those skills they can overcome so much together.  I don't really enjoy boiler plate stories.  In fact, one of the reasons I had terrible writer's block in my twenties is the concept that "there is nothing new under the sun".  Yet.  Every individual is unique, right?  So every storyteller, even if they are telling the same story, has the ability to make it their own and share their own unique perspective.

I could go on about all the science fiction books, shows and movies I enjoy, but I think the point has been made.  I don't consider myself an "expert" by any means.  I just know what I like, and I am not embarrassed or intimidated.  I like a story that doesn't take itself too seriously.  I like well-rounded characters with a little angst.  I like a setting that can absorb me completely into another time and/or place.  I especially love a mind-blowing twist, or a  heartwarming denouement or a thought-provoking conclusion.

So I've made my case.  As far as I'm concerned, I'm a science fiction fan. I may be a tepid fan of Star Wars and Star Trek, but I still get to proclaim my love of sci fi.  In French there is a saying "les gouts ne sont pas a discuter" - tastes are not to be discussed.  Even so I like to discuss them.  I always have.  If I meet someone who hates or loves certain media as much as I do, I have the nerdiest response: I gesture emphatically, my voice goes up a pitch, I express my enthusiasm at having found a kindred spirit.

I'm not limited to science fiction.  I like historical fiction, fantasy, coming of age stories.  I'm a major fan of comedies, though a lot of the shows I like can actually be classified as dramedies.  And I simply love animated movies.  I have since I was a kid, and the love has never faded, in fact it has only deepened.  I wonder if I'll always be this intense fangirl, with passion and fire for what she likes?  I recently went to the movies and I saw a group of guys standing around, discussing easter eggs and certain scenes, and making predictions about sequels.  I remember doing that.  I still do, in the car on the ride home with S-.  I guess he's my favorite person to talk to about this topic, because he knows me so well and it's always safe to share my point of view.

It's interesting, I feel more self conscious about sharing on this topic than I did about anything else this month.  I think I've got something very backward here.