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reaperintheroses · 4 years ago

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When I’m ready (pogues x sister!reader)

Word count: 2,598 warnings: Bisexual reader, angst at the end, fluff. A/N: There will be a part two rest assured. I just got into outer banks and I absolutely love it! I’ve had this idea for a while now actually so there are just a few things I want to clear up. You are about 14/15 in this fic. The pogues themselves aren’t actually in here a bunch until the very end just because this is meant to set up a plot line. Also a beater for those of you who don’t know is a really shitty old car that you don’t mind getting dirty. You use this to throw surf boards and such in. Beta’d by the lovely @uwubonebabie I also took insporation from baby pogue. The best part is baby pogue is her creation, so you can get tons more baby pogue content on her blog. She’s a super sweet gal and you should go check her out.

Part Two :)

It was bright. You could feel the sun tickling your skin. Prying open your eyes you turned to look over at the small alarm clock on your bedside table. 10:14. Damn it. Your brother and his friends were probably already awake which meant that you were going to have to sneak out without drawing attention to yourself. Grabbing a chair you pry your window open before going to change and grab your longboard. Throwing open your dresser and tossing a tank top over your shoulder before reaching for the shorts on your bean bag. Looking back at the text that Anna sent you last night about what the plan was you reached into another drawer and grabbed a swimsuit. Having thrown on your outfit and tied up your hair so that it would be out of your face you reached for the longboard that normally lives by your bed-side table. Looking down you cursed yourself from last night. You were adjusting the kingpin because it was coming loose and left it out on the counter. Groaning in frustration you snatched your phone off of the bed-side table before quietly opening your bedroom door and slipping out. Trying your hardest to be quiet you grabbed your longboard off of the counter. Grabbing your shoes and backpack you ran to the door. You were so close before you heard your brother behind you. Hoping that he was just rummaging around in the fridge and wouldn’t see you, you crossed over to the door. No such luck. “Hey (y/n) where are you going?” Double damn it. Turning around to face your brother, you pasted on a smile and replied “Oh just to go pick up a book from that cute Indy place by Figure 8.” That wasn’t entirely untrue. You just weren’t telling him your entire itinerary. “Well, I can drive you there if you want.” He had a good point. It was a twenty-minute ride on a longboard depending on foot traffic. He could cut that in half if he drove you. Close to replying that you would actually like that he added on to his previous statement “and afterward we can go pick up Kei and Pope to save them the time.” Groaning in your head you realized that getting a ride from your brother, after all, wouldn’t work out and you needed to get going if you wanted to make it on time and still have a couple of minutes to go pick up your book from the store on the way. “Sorry John B. I really need to get going and I like the ride over there anyhow” You could see the protest written all over his face so before he had a chance to argue you threw open the door to the chateau, grabbed your longboard, and barreled down the steps.

Placing your board on the ground before placing your foot on the deck you turned around and did a quick inventory of everything in your backpack while you searched for your headphones. “Wallet?- Check”, Spare keys?- Check, Chapstick?- Check, Hair ties?- Check, Towel?- Check” Finding the desired headphones you plugged them into your phone before selecting a random song. Hearing the familiar toon fill your ears, you lifted your foot off of the deck before situating yourself on the board. Putting your phone in your back pocket, you pushed off the ground. Steering yourself around your brother’s van you emerged onto the main road and let the music posses you. Mindlessly pushing to keep your momentum, you allowed yourself to let your mind drift. You started to think of your brother and his friends. You wished you could be more honest with them. You had a feeling that they were starting to suspect something was up when you began to decline their offers to go boating for the day. At first, it was once every few weeks. Then it started to become a little more frequent, but not enough to be super noticeable. Then it became a weekly occurrence. You wanted to tell them the truth about Anna, really you did. It was just so hard to assume that they would be excepting when you’ve heard all the horror stories about what happens to kids when they tell their family. Deciding you didn’t need to stress on it at the moment. Letting you thought wonder once more you felt a smile, a real smile, when you thought about Anna. Everything about her was amazing. It didn’t feel real. You felt your smile fall though when you remembered that she wanted to meet your brother and his friends that you considered family. You really liked her, that much was obvious. You knew that she deserved to meet them and you couldn’t give her excuses forever. Turning once more the road opened up into the heart of the cut. Stepping on the deck to stop the board you started the walk through the town allowing yourself to go on autopilot again.

When you reached the cute little bookstore along the very edge of the cut you halted. Placing your longboard on the side of the building by the door, you smiled this was one of your favorite places on the island. Turning and pushing open the door you heard the little bell jingle overhead, alerting the employee behind the counter to your presence. Looking over to smile and wave you walked back to the back of the store going to grab the book you had been eyeing all month. Having finally saved up enough money from working at the hotel boardwalk area you were excited to be able to read a new book instead of the same one you had been reading for the past month that you bought last time you had enough money to spare. You walked up to the front desk and handed the book to the sweet girl. Reaching around to grab your wallet you felt your phone buzz once and then another time once you had located bag that you used to store all of your spare money for things you could want but didn’t need. Grabbing out a 5 and a few ones, you set the money on the counter before reaching back again to grab your phone you looked at the screen to see one message from Anna asking how far away you were, and one from John B. asking what time you were going to be home so he and his friends could come to grab you to go swimming and watch the sunset. You did some mental math in your head so you could give an accurate answer to each person. After putting your phone and wallet back you turned around to give the cashier a final smile and tucking the book in your bag as well. Pulling open the door and hearing the little bell jingle one more time before grabbing the longboard that you had previously discarded, you made sure that everything was secure in the bag before looking back up the road. Pushing off you once again let your mind go elsewhere. Turning left you saw the familiar entrance to the small beach that only locals really knew about. Walking out onto the sand you looked around for the familiar features. Placing your board on the ground and setting your backpack down on top of it, you dug out the towel you had shoved in there earlier. Standing back up you looked around again before you felt the wind being knocked out of you. Hitting the sand, you felt a weight pressing down on you. Looking up you were greeted by Annas smiling face. “Hi.” She smiled and rolled off of you. “Hey yourself,” you replied. Looking over you smiled at your girlfriend. “So where did you drop your stuff?” You looked down at your backpack before looking back up at her. “Just up the beach,” she looked off into the distance before looking back at you, “You asked for the bic shortboard, right?” You smiled, glad that she remembered what your board preference was. Even though you would have been fine with whatever she brought. Picking up the discarded towel you shook out the sand it had already collected. Shoving it back into your backpack you scooped up your belongings and gestured for her to lead the way. Setting down everything you looked over to the two boards in the sand. Dropping everything you turned to Anna and asked if she had followed the prep instructions you sent her last night. After getting her confirmation you smiled at her just the tiniest bit. People were always telling you to smile more. Your brother and his friends especially. Smiling for you was a rarity, even before the whole thing with your dad. Sometimes it felt like with Anna you didn’t have to be someone else, that you didn’t have to wear a different disguise. Like when on a rare day when all of your brother’s friends weren’t completely against you tagging along you had to be the reckless pouge who was always willing to do crazy shit. Or when under the watchful eye of Cheryl you had to pretend that everything was alright and that your uncle was taking good care of you and your brother. Around Anna, you could be the you that you wished you were brave enough to be around everyone. She was looking out onto the ocean, studying the waves. When she turned to look at you and saw you staring at her she broke into a face splitting grin. “What’s going on in your mind.” She tilted her head and blinked. “Just really happy that I have an awesome girlfriend,” you turned looking out to the ocean. She let out a huff of laughter. “Well this awesome girlfriend really wants to know how to surf, and she really wants her cool surfer dude girlfriend to teach her how to do it so she doesn’t have to ask her brother.” She smiled up at you and waved towards the two boards that she had brought from her house. Her brother is a huge surfer so it was amazing that in her 15 years of life, Anna had never even picked up a surfboard. Hopping up you laid the boards on the sand to that they were facing each other. You instructed her throughout the entire standing up process and how to turn. Looking at the low tide you decided that now was a good a time as ever. You smiled and cheered for her and after about three or four attempts she actually was able to stand up for about two seconds before falling off to the side. Being able to get in a few short waves yourself made the day even more successful. Given the fact that it was the prime of low tide, there weren’t any massive white claws but it was still fun to get out and show off in front of her and show her what she would be able to do by the end of the summer. Once the tide started to pick up Anna decided that you guys should probably head back. Dragging the board back to the entrance to the small beach you walked them over to her family’s beater that her brother would come to pick up in twenty minutes. You laced your fingers through hers as she tugged you over to the sidewalk that leads to the cut. You let her do most of the talking and gave the appropriate response when she paused long enough to let you cut in. You guys finally made it to the pier where the pavement started up again. Knowing this is where you parted ways you turned to smile up at her. You smiled a lot today. You breathed in the senses of the cut. The sound of a boat motor slowly approaching the dock you guys were standing on. The smell of frozen fish coming out of the open door from the market across the street. Folks who knew each other shouting greetings. “Can we do this again later this week?” She asked, already knowing the answer. Leaning upwards you beamed and put your lips to hers. Even though you meant for it to be a small peck you weren’t complaining when she didn’t let go. In the back of your mind, you heard the boat motor getting closer but you just ignored it. Letting go of Anna’s hand you slid them up to her neck and felt her encircling her hands around your waist. The boat motor got super close to the dock that you were standing on before you heard it stop. You continued to kiss her until you heard it. The very small clearing of a throat. At first, you thought it was just some old kook woman who came to grab her fish sense it couldn’t be delivered to her today. You broke away looking around to see who decided to make it their business who you macked on and prepared to flip them off before going back to talking to Anna for a few more minutes before she had to head back. Seeing no one you went back to look at Anna when you made eye contact with your brother. Your smile dropped immediately. You wanted to look back at her and act like nothing was wrong, really you did. But you felt you just couldn’t face her right now and act like nothing was wrong. Not only did your brother’s entire friend group just see you kissing her you felt like she wasn’t just your secret anymore. Like she was some lost kook princess that you could just hide away in a tower and keep to yourself forever. “I need to go” you mumbled looking at the ground. “What?” She asked trying to get you to look at her. “I said, I need to go. I’ll text you later,” you replied still looking at the ground. “Oh, okay,” she frowned, “See you around, I guess”. She turned around, looking hurt. You avoided eye contact with the four pairs of eyes that were staring you while you pulled your phone and headphones out of your backpack. “Hey wait, (y/n) why don’t you just hop in here and we can talk about it?” You heard Kei say to you. Ignoring her, you turned the volume all the way up and put your phone back into the backpack before giving an aggressive push against the ground. Navigating yourself around people on the sidewalk you made it onto the main road leading to the chateau in record time. You needed to make it back before them so you could avoid all contact.

Seeing the familiar gravel and grass combination that made up the driveway you jumped off and hoisted your longboard under your arm. Running up the steps and pulling open the door before twisting the door nob and shoving open the door. Flying down the hall you came to a stop in front of your room door. Opening and closing the door you locked it before dropping your longboard in its normal spot and tossing the backpack onto the bed. You kicked off your shoes and placed them in your closet. You texted a quick explanation and apology to Anna. Not bothering to see if she replied you flopped onto the bed. You felt the first tear slip down your cheek and it wasn’t long before you tasted to salt too. A few minutes later you were sobbing.

#john b x reader #john b x y/n #obx #bisexual reader #outer banks #baby pouge #jj x y/n #jj x reader #oc #multipart #first part

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kusunogatari · 4 years ago

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[ Naruto OC x Canon Ship Week 2020 - Face to Face ] [ @naruto-ocxcanon-ship-week || @abyssaldespair ] [ Suigin Ryū, Uchiha Obito ] [ Alcohol ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ Trope: Online Dating ]

Nibbling her lip, Ryū stares at the slight reflection in her mobile screen. Thumbs flicker over the keys, not quite touching in indecision.

This is the closest she’s gotten.

The concept, admittedly, is just...not one she ever saw herself using. Online dating seems so, so...weird! Lining up your face, your name, a handful of facts, and calling it good. Is that really all it takes anymore? Sure, she...doesn’t exactly have mountains of experience beyond that. Maybe she’s just old-fashioned. But putting up something akin to a mugshot to try and find love seems very...strange.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Eeping in surprise, she claws the phone to her chest, face going pink and heart pounding. “N-nothing!”

Behind her, a coworker she knows mostly only in passing perks a brow. “Whoa, sorry! You looked kinda, uh...distressed.”

Ryū heaves a small breath. “...sorry, I didn’t mean to jump so bad. I just, uh...I’m trying one of those silly dating websites, and…”

The other woman quickly perks up. “Oh! Yeah they’re kinda scary at first but I met my boyfriend on one! I bet you’ll do just fine. Just be smart about it, and it usually all works out fine.”

“Smart…?”

“Y’know...meet in public places, tell someone where you’re going. About the same as a normal date for those like us, huh?”

At that, Ryū can’t help but deflate. “...yeah, good point.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. People gotta have their pictures on there. I take a pic of any license plates and send them to someone I trust just in case.”

Brow wilting, Ryū admits, “You’re...not exactly giving me votes of confidence here.”

“Hey, gotta be prepared for the worst, but the worst hardly ever happens. Besides, a bit of chatting online usually gives a pretty good indication of if something will even work. And you can always ask friends to go on doubles, too.”

At that, Ryū doesn’t answer. She...doesn’t really have many friends to ask, let alone any with dates she’d feel like asking along. “Yeah, good point. I’ll, uh...I’ll see how it goes.”

“Cool! Good luck!” Giving a wave as she passes by, her coworker heads around a corner and out of sight.

“...what am I doing…” Ryū mumbles to herself, looking back to her nearly-completed account. “I know this isn’t gonna work…” And now the less appealing sides are at the forefront of her mind. Maybe she should just keep her nose to the grindstone and pretend she never brought this up.

...but then again…

As much as she hates to admit it, she’s lonely. Being a pharmacist might be similar to her wish to be a doctor, but it’s not quite what she wanted. It just feels like something is...missing. And while Ryū isn’t the sort to assume all her problems can be solved by a guy (or gal), she’s still pretty able to realize that her social life isn’t the best. No real close friends, passing grades with her coworkers...not even any pets. Up until now, she’s lived life in a series of grinds. School, then work, and now...it feels lacking.

Hence the idea to try the app.

“...no harm in looking,” she eventually mumbles to herself, slowly going through the rest of her profile and hitting the confirm button. “You don’t have to go on with it, but...just look. See how it works. Maybe just...chat with someone. One step at a time, okay?”

Of course, by then her break is nearly over, so she mutes her phone and heads back to work. She...only ate half her lunch, but she’s not really all that hungry anyway. Only once her shift is over does she head back to her little apartment and...give this thing a real try.

At first, it throws nothing but male profiles at her. Which is all well and good, but...it’s not all she’s interested in. Looking over a few names and faces, she eventually bucks up the courage to pick one. He’s a few years older, lives a town over, and works as a physical therapist. Not bad, right?

...ugh, wrong.

As soon as they start chatting, she knows this...isn’t going to work. He’s all Mister Nice Guy, subtly bragging about himself and leaving only certain questions open for her in turn: the only things he wants to hear about, and...things she can easily see through as shallow. Eventually she manages to get him to shut up and quickly deletes him.

Okay...not a great first impression, but it’s not gonna be perfect the first time she tries. This isn’t a fairytale, after all. So, she tries another. And another.

After over two weeks of duds that don’t even get past initial chats, she’s about ready to give up.

Laying on her bed spread-eagle with a sigh, she stares up at the ceiling. What started as a vague inking is turning into nothing but a source of frustration. Not exactly what she signed up for. Weighing her options, Ryū eventually stirs when her phone gives an all-too-familiar notification sound.

Another match...wonderful.

Sitting up with a grunt, she opens the message and looks over yet another profile. At first glance, it’s just another guy. Ugh. The amount of lady-seeking ladies has been depressingly low, but...apparently those are usually on their own kind of sites. So, for now, she entertains herself with this one.

Obito Uchiha...huh. Vaguely sounds like her own Japanese roots. There’s a small spark of curiosity, adjusting her stance slightly. Short dark hair, dark eyes, and...well, his pics aren’t the clearest (he clearly knows his good side (or what he’s assuming is his good side since...it’s all she sees)). But she spies a cat. That’s a win. She likes cats. A glance at his actual profile shows a like of sweets, cats (aha!), and a dislike of...aubergines? Googling that, there’s a hum of understanding. It’s eggplant! She...didn’t know that...whoops. The rest of the summary (stuff about ‘being extreme’ and ‘having abs’) gets her to giggle.

Well...might as well give it a try.

Giving the okay, she opens up the chat window, nibbling her lip in thought. What should she say…?

Hello!

A bit surprised, Ryū jolts slightly, not expecting the quick response! ...hi!

I didn’t think you’d accept it so fast!

And I didn’t think you’d say hello so quickly either!

Oh, sorry...was that too fast?

The apology begets a subconscious smile. No, not at all! My phone is usually pretty quiet is all. Sorry if I’m awkward, I’m...still kinda new at this.

Ha, me too. I haven’t had too many matches yet, so I’m still practicing.

Guess we can practice together! Though I have to ask you…

...eh?

What’s your kitty’s name?

Oh! Her name is Tenebris.

Aww, I love that name!

She’s my lady, haha! Helps me reel in the girls ;D

Ryū can’t help a snort. Well it seems to be working. I don’t have any pets, sadly…

What? None at all?

No...I work a lot so I haven’t gotten around to it. And I don’t want them to be lonely!

Bah, cats are good at being alone. Feed them and clean their box and you’re fine.

I’ll have to think about it, haha~

After a few minutes, Ryū realizes...this is the longest she’s talked to someone on here yet. Sure, it was a little stiff to start, but by some grace they just sort of...fell into conversation. No posturing or anything. It’s rather...refreshing! Encouraged, she keeps texting as she starts working on her dinner.

So what kind of work do you do?

I’m a pharmacist! Not quite the doctor I planned on, but it works.

Ohhh, wow!

What about you?

There’s quiet for a few minutes, and Ryū can’t help but wonder if that was a bad question. But then Obito replies, Sorry, my cat got stuck behind the couch...I uh...am currently working on a garbage truck part time…

She blinks. That’s...very random. Nothing wrong with that. It’s an important job, after all!

Eh, yeah...not very charming though, is it?

Oh, pffft. I stand behind a counter all day and give people medicine over and over. It’s not exactly exciting most days. We all make our ends meet somehow.

I guess that’s true.

Smiling at her phone, Ryū keeps cooking and chatting, giving play-by-plays as he asks what she’s making.

Do you like cooking?

Mhm! Food’s one of those things that’s both a necessity, and yet can be fancy when you want it to be, so...I thought it would be good to learn. And it’s a lot of fun!

I’m...okay at it.

Maybe I can give you some lessons down the road, hm?

You would?

Sure! It’d be something fun to do.

Like a first date?

At that, Ryū pauses. Right...dating. That’s what this is all for. She almost forgot… Sure! If that’s something you’d like to do. I guess dinner and a movie is pretty common for that. We’ll just make our own!

I’d really like that!

Cheeks warming, Ryū beams at the screen. I guess...it’s a date! Eventually. Whenever we can make something work, and maybe talk a little more…?

Sure! I take a lot of random side jobs so I can be a little flaky…

That’s okay - we’ll just keep chatting until then. You’re actually the first person that’s been fun to talk to…

He sends a big smile emoji. Success!

You’ll have to think about what we should make! I have to warn you, I like making dessert, too…

Oh no...my biggest weakness…

And no eggplant, right?

Eugh, no.

Haha, noted!

The conversation runs well into the evening until Ryū admits she’d best get to bed. Guess I’ll talk to you some more later, okay?

Mhm!

Say hi to Tenebris for me!

Haha, I will! Goodnight Ryū.

Night, Obito.

Checking her other messages, Ryū plugs in her mobile to charge before mulling over the evening. As she does, a smile slowly pulls at her lips.

Well, she can’t make any assumptions yet, but...this is a good start.

Chatting with Obito quickly becomes a routine. Though not much of a texter before, she checks in and quips with him throughout the day. He tells her about his latest jobs, and she notes anything out of the ordinary at work. Days blend into a week, and then two.

“So…”

“Hm?”

Leaning against the counter, Ryū’s coworker smirks. “Seems to me you hooked one, huh?”

Her cheeks flush pink. “Um...maybe…”

“You haven’t put your phone down for more than fives minutes all day!”

The pink gets darker as the other woman laughs.

“I’m glad! So, you gonna see him?”

“Yeah, eventually...I think we’re both a little nervous.”

“That’s adorable. You’ll have to let me know how it goes! Been nice seeing you look so bright lately.”

Ryū blinks. “...really?”

“Yeah. No offense, but...ever since I’ve worked here, you’ve been so quiet and to yourself. But lately you’ve just seemed more upbeat and...I dunno, out there.”

The observation admittedly takes her a bit off-guard. “...oh…”

“It’s just nice to see you look happy, that’s all. I know a job like this one’s kinda drudgy. Glad you’ve got something to keep your chin up.” With a smile, the other pharmacist straightens and heads back to work.

Still a bit struck, Ryū mulls all that over. True, she’s always been one to keep her nose to the grindstone. Maybe having a bit of a social outlet just...got her going to opening up some more.

...huh.

So...any openings in your schedule coming up?

Uh...I haven’t really checked lately. One sec!

Waiting for Obito’s reply, Ryū nibbles her thumbnail. She’s going to do it. She’s going to ask him over. By now she’s gotten to know him pretty well. She’s always been able to trust her gut, and...she believes she can trust him.

Though just in case, she’ll be letting her neighbor know when he comes to visit.

Just to be safe.

So I think I actually have Sunday clear. Does that work with you?

Yeah! I’m always on a Monday through Friday schedule, so weekends are almost always good with me!

Okay...cool!

Any idea what you wanna make?

Make?

Yeah! Remember, we talked about cooking…?

Ohhh, yeah! Uh...honestly I don’t have any preference.

You sure?

Yeah, just no aubergines.

I remember, haha.

Should I bring anything?

Nah, I’ll handle it. Though I guess if you have a movie you’d like to watch?

Ooh, okay! Uh...any you don’t like?

Maybe nothing too gory…?

Aw, that’s no fun!

I saw enough in medical school, believe me...it’s not fun.

Okay, okay. I’ll pick something.

And with a few other details hashed out...they have a date scheduled.

Ryū’s stomach can’t stop fluttering: both in excitement, and in nerves. She hasn’t really dated since college...what if she does something stupid? Offends him somehow? Or something just goes...wrong?

Okay, no, stop it. It’s gonna be fine. You’ve talked a lot, so...no need to be nervous. Just do it!

By the time Sunday rolls around, she’s as ready as she’ll ever be.

Fiddling with her hair in the bathroom mirror (can she EVER get it to do what she wants?), she jumps as someone knocks on the door. Trying to manage her nerves, she peers through the little peephole, spying what indeed looks to be Obito.

Taking a moment to steady her breath, she pulls open the door and looks up just as he looks over.

...oh.

She always thought his photo gallery on his profile was a bit...empty. At first she hadn’t really noticed that all of Obito’s photos had been taken showing one side of his face.

So only now, with him looking straight at her, does she see what he’s been hiding.

The apprehension in his face clearly shows he’s awaiting her reaction, and at first she can only blink. Eyes naturally slide to the right side where a plethora of scars mar the skin from his brow to his chin. One even reaches up into his lip.

But though it’s a surprise by novelty, it otherwise does nothing to hinder the blush in her face.

...gosh he’s handsome.

Her gaze lingers on the scars for only a moment before lifting back to his eyes, cheeks rosy and giving a demure smile. “...hi.”

“...hey.”

There’s a few beats of awkward silence, the pair of them stuck staring at each other. “...s-sorry! Um...come on in!” Ryū steps aside, going hotter in the face. A nice button-up shirt and clean jeans make him look quite snazzy. Seems her blouse and skirt wasn’t too much or too little. They hadn’t really breached any ideas about how formal to be…

Stepping in, Obito glances around before clearing his throat. From behind his back he draws a little bouquet of flowers. “Er...for you.”

Ryū’s greys alight with delight. “Oh!” It’s cliché as all hell, but she loves them. Delicately accepting the blooms, she gives them a sniff before beaming at him. “Thank you! I, er...I don’t have anything for you…”

“That’s okay! I mean, food’s good with me, heh.”

Giving a giggle, Ryū retreats to the kitchen to put them in some water, setting the vase on her little table. “There…!”

“You...have a really nice apartment!”

“Thank you...I’m always either working or tired, so I don’t manage to mess it up much,” she laughs. “I tried to make it kinda...cute. I’m not exactly an interior designer.”

“No, it’s nice. It suits you.”

That makes her go pink all over again. “...s-so! Um...are you hungry…?”

Obito gives a grin. “Always!”

“Okay! Um...I thought we’d do something a bit...basic? Just in case? Do you like spaghetti…?”

“Yeah!”

“...okay! Cool. Um…” Awkwardness creeping back up, she claps her hands and giggles nervously. “Then, I...guess we’ll give it a try!”

The pair move back into the kitchen, where Ryū already has everything sorted out and ready to go. “Wow...looks professional.”

“Oh gosh, it’s just…” She gestures vaguely. “...I wanted to be ready so we wouldn’t waste any time…” Turning on the heat under the water, she thinks to ask, “...no food allergies, right?”

“No. At least...none I’ve found…? And I’ve had spaghetti before, it should be fine, hm?”

“Okay!”

A bit stuttery at first, she starts guiding him through her process, letting him take most of the reins and acting more as a guide. Obito listens attentively, looking exceedingly focused.

...it’s adorable.

“Okay, so with the grease drained off, we can add our sauce...and once it’s all combined, that’ll be that!” She, in the meantime, worked on a salad mix. “And the garlic bread should be about done, too!”

“You make this all seem so easy.”

She flushes pink. “It...just takes practice! And you did really well!”

“I had a good teacher.”

Once it’s all finished, the pair of them ferry things to the table. “Okay...you try it first.”

“Me?”

“Mhm! You made it, right?”

Glancing to his plate, Obito twirls some noodles onto his fork, lightly pink at Ryū’s watching as he takes the bite and chews. “...it’s good!”

Beaming again, she follows suit. And it’s perfect! Mouth still full, she gives a thumbs-up, making him laugh. Between spaghetti, salad, garlic bread, and a little wine, they get through dinner with hearty conversation and increasing laughter.

“I dunno why I was so nervous,” she admits once they’re done, a cheek leaning against a fist as she twirls the last few sips of her wine. “I mean...we’ve been talking so much already. Guess I just felt kinda...out of practice. Y’know?”

“Yeah, me too. Though I try to bravado my way through things.”

“Well, we got through it. Should we play the movie…?”

“Sure!” He holds up a thumbdrive, grinning. “From my collection.”

“Oho!”

With a refill of wine, they move into the little living room of the apartment, Obito hooking up the TV and starting the film.

“What is it?”

“You’ll see!”

“Not gory, right?”

“Nooo. But...maybe a little scary.”

“Scary is okay. I like spooks. Just not lotsa blood and flesh and…” Her nose wrinkles. “...y’know.”

“Ha, yeah.”

They settle on the one couch she has, and at first sit...a little ways apart. They’d had opposite sides of the table before, and...well, this is new. But like a couple of dumb teenagers, they slowly meander their way closer, testing the other’s boundaries as they go until Ryū finds herself snuggled up against Obito’s side, head on his shoulder.

Obito, just out of her line of sight, is clearly ecstatic.

The movie starts out tame, but true to his word, it quickly takes on a rather creepy tone. Transfixed, Ryū stares at the screen, slowly worming her way further and further into the dip of Obito’s side.

...if she weren’t so focused on the movie, she’d realize that was likely his plan.

Obito, on the other hand, has technically already seen this one, and instead mostly watches for her reactions. The closer they get to a big scare, the more often he looks, biting back a grin until it finally happens -!

Shrieking in terror, Ryū scrambles for someplace to hide, and...ends up burrowing into his chest with a string of garbled, frightened nonsense as Obito does his best not to laugh.

“You okay?”

“I -! That -!” Her head shakes with a whimper, still hiding. “Nope. Nope nope nope.”

“Want me to stop it?”

“...nooo…” One grey peeks out, finding the screen a bit more bearable now. “...that was fricken’ terrifying! Ohhh my gosh!”

He just snickers, ignoring her continuing whines of discomfort. “It’s almost over, don’t worry.”

To his delight, she remains half-perched on his lap for the rest of the film. Once the credits start to creep up the screen, she loses her tension and goes limp. “...I almost had a heart attack…”

“Aw…”

“I mean it was good! But cripes, I wasn’t ready...eugh…”

Obito rubs a hand along her back, still clearly amused. “Gonna be able to sleep tonight?”

“...I better, I have work in the morning…”

He apologizes, watching as she tears herself from the couch and disappears into the kitchen. “...Ryū?”

No answer.

Brow furrowing, he makes to follow just in time to see her pull a pan out of the refrigerator. “What’s that?”

“Peach cobbler,” she sniffs, setting it on the counter and then fetching vanilla ice cream. “This is my reward for surviving your movie.”

“You’re gonna eat the whole pan?”

She shoots him a pout. “...maybe.”

He mirrors the look. “...I want some…”

“You have to promise never to scare me like that again.”

“Okay, okay. But wasn’t it at least a little fun…?”

Scooping the food into bowls, she thinks back over how nice and warm it was in his arms...and she could smell his cologne… “...maybe a little.”

They stay standing in the kitchen, leaned against the counter as they eat their dessert. Though not as lively as before, they chat in the quiet.

“So...on a scale of one to ten, how was our date?”

Ryū sucks on her spoon with a thoughtful hum. “...a nine.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why not a ten?”

“Because you scared the bejesus out of me!” After a moment to pout, she asks, “...you?”

“A ten.”

“...really?”

“Good food, good movie...good company. What’s not to love?”

She...isn’t sure how to respond to that, so she takes another bite to excuse her silence.

“We’ll have to try cooking something else next time. Something spicy!”

“Not too spicy, it’ll make me sick!”

“Whaaat?”

“I have a delicate stomach...nothing too greasy, either.”

“That’s all the good food!” he laughs.

“It’s not my fault!”

“Fine, fine...we’ll figure something out. I’ll have to find some of my grandmother’s recipes. From Quebec.”

That earns a blink. She thought she heard traces of an accent in his voice, but didn’t want to assume. “...sure! I’d really like that.”

But eventually, the bowls and the wine glasses are empty. The movie is over. The hour is growing late.

It’s time to call it a night.

...but it’s clear neither of them really want to.

Obito offers to help tidy up, and that helps take a little more time. But once that’s done, there’s really no more excuses.

“...well…” Ryū fidgets a bit. “Guess I’ll...say goodnight?”

“Yeah, I better go. Don’t want to keep you up to late. And I’ve got my route in the morning.”

“Mm…”

She walks him to the front door, the pair of them lingering in the opening for a long moment. “...be safe on your way home. Text me to let me know you made it okay, all right?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“And to say goodnight.”

“...again.”

“...yeah, again.”

Another pause.

Indecision seeming to make her bones vibrate, Ryū eventually makes up her mind. Stepping up a bit closer, she lays a hand against Obito’s chest and - with a bit of posturing up on her toes - she gives him a feather-light press of her lips to his.

Flashing pink, he nonetheless reciprocates, both of them easing slowly back apart.

“...goodnight, Obito.”

“...night, Ryū. I’ll...talk to you later.”

Nodding with a shy smile, she watches him head down the hall before forcing herself to shut the door. For a moment, she stands and holds the knob...then turns and leans against it with a sigh.

...it seems so quiet in here now…

Eyes lift to her little dining room table, where the flowers he brought her are still sitting in their vase. The sight brings her a small smile. As much as she’s sad to see him go...well, that just means she’ll get to look forward to seeing him again next time.

Next time...what a lovely concept.

Heaving a more contented breath, she makes her way back into the apartment. Time to get ready for bed, and wait to hear he got home okay. Then she’ll sleep, and start all over again.

...but at least now there’s something to look forward to.

All righty, another day, this one with Ryū’s ship with @abyssaldespair‘s Obito, set in a modern verse! I had...several ideas for these two, and picking one was difficult and ended up costing me time BUT, it’s done xD Hopefully I can get MORE done :’D But yes! This was actually an idea Meg submitted to me, with the premise based largely on Obito hiding his appearance on his profile until the big reveal! Ryū, of course, doesn’t mind his scars no matter the verse. She still thinks he’s one cute cookie x3 Anywho, I guess that’s...really all there is to say for this one! Hope ya like it Meg, and I better get to work on more drabbles xD

#narutoocxcanonshipweek #noxcsw #abyssaldespair #suigin ryū #uchiha obito #best years of your life [ au ]#online dating

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creepykingdom · 6 years ago

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“Ralph Breaks The Internet” Review

By Hannah K.

“Start churnin’ butter and put on your church shoes, little sister, cause we’re about to blast off!”

...We’re going to the internet, Ralph. Ee-Ohh-Boy.

Going into this movie, I knew that next to nothing would be able to compete with the original film and how mold-breaking it was. What video game enthusiast among us wouldn’t adore the first Wreck It Ralph movie, a love letter to games and gamer culture? I hoped this internet-based movie wouldn’t be one giant meme, and that the cameos we already knew existed would actually serve a purpose.

Luckily, I was pleasantly surprised. Ralph Breaks the Internet was actually quite deep and emotional for a movie delving into the weird place that is the web. While I didn’t know what to expect going in, what I totally didn’t expect was how emotionally affected I would be as I watched these characters we already love turn a new chapter in their lives.

The movie takes place 6 years after the first installment (actually how many years have passed in real time!), and shows Ralph, Vanellope, Felix, and Calhoun settling into their lives at Litwak’s. They have a routine, and they spend the nights hanging out with each other in all the different games. Vanellope, however, is getting tired of the same-old-same-old, and finds herself wishing for something different. Ralph, on the other hand, loves the predictability, and can’t see how Vanellope would want something else. When the mystical WIFI gets plugged in, followed by an accident where Sugar Rush gets broken, Ralph and Vanellope decide to break the rules and hop onto the information superhighway to see if they can find the missing part for her game. What happens takes the friends on a crazy journey through lots of websites (some new ones, but also lots of familiar ones), viral videos, the Dark Web, and the worst place of all...the comments section...but it also tests Ralph and Vanellope’s friendship, and causes them to face up to their insecurities.

I really enjoyed this film. It was visually stunning, of course, but the scenes in the internet especially so. There were lots of hidden gags and nods to internet culture, including broken-down banners for Geocities and “Private Chatrooms,” plus a dialogue nod to Napster. There were, of course, cameos and memes, as we expected, but I don’t think it pushed it too far. There was an actual story to hold together the fun nods and winks, and watching the characters grow was exceptional in terms of that story.

I can’t write this review without mentioning the Princesses. Their moments in the movie were really funny and well done and felt very much like Disney making fun of themselves in a good-natured way. The Princesses all seem to know how silly and cliche their stories/actions are, and they support each other in their weirdness. It was fun watching all these characters work together and even get to do some “damsel” rescuing of their own.

The voice acting in this installment was also really nicely done. John C. Reilly and Sarah Silverman return to their roles with gusto, Silverman doing an EXCELLENT job with a spoiler-filled moment later in the movie that I can’t tell you about here. The new characters were equally as fun and filled with great talent, Gal Gadot playing Shank, Bill Hader as Spamley, and Alan Tudyk as the knowledgeable Knowsmore. I’m a voice actress, I can’t help but pay close attention to performances, and these people all knocked it out of the park.

I love Wreck It Ralph more than I can tell you. It’s honestly one of my favorite movies out there, so it’s hard for anything else to measure up to that feeling I had when I saw it. Still, Ralph Breaks the Internet did not disappoint. Where the first movie was a love letter to games and gamer culture, this was a love letter to internet/youtube culture while adding in online gaming. It’s hard to talk about the internet without getting overly meme-y, but I think Ralph did a fine job. Some people may find it repetitive of the first movie, but hey! We have a whole generation of kids going to see this film that are growing up saturated with this stuff. The first movie was our nod to classic gaming, let this one be their nod.

Oh! When you go see it, be sure to stay ALL the way after the credits for a sneak preview of Disney’s new movie! You won’t regret it. ;)

(All Images Courtesy of Disney)

#blogposts #wreckitralph #ralph breaks the internet

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9g99 · 6 years ago

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Sweet Prince - L.H. Royal/Prince AU

summary → royal life can be messy, but Prince!Luke doesn’t mind when you’re by his side

word count → 4.2k

author’s note → i haven’t written a proper fic like this in ages so i’m sorry if it’s not that good. it’s a somewhat of a mess and unnecessarily long. it’s gender neutral too for all my guys, gals, and nonbinary pals :) also it’s based off this luke this one’s for you lisa ( @littlelionluke )

warnings - swearing, bit of self deprecation, 0.3 seconds that’s nsfw if u squint

part 2

Luke won’t admit it to you, but he sometimes wishes he never met you.

Not because you were the death of him and made his life a living hell but simply because you were the opposite. You made his life more enjoyable and so fulfilling that he wants to rid himself of all the responsibilities of being heir to the throne.

In simple terms, he thinks of you as the sun, more or less. You bring fun and light into his dull life. You fill him with warmth just by your very presence and the grace of your smile on your pretty lips. You make him the happiest he’s ever been despite all the privileges and gifts royal blood grants him.

If he’s being honest, Luke still doesn’t understand why his brothers abdicated from the throne. Luke thinks he’s too young and immature to be the next ruler for the kingdom, but he just follows as he’s told because he doesn’t want to let people down.

Letting people down, one of his fears and insecurities in life, and he knows that’s what he’s doing to you each moment he doesn’t tell you the truth.

Luke won’t admit this to you, but he’s desperately waiting for the day you realize how he’s a terrible person, so you leave his life on your own terms and not for arbitrary reasons. He’d rather it be him, not you, who suffers the most, because he believes you deserve so much more than who he is now. You don’t deserve pain. You don’t deserve to suffer, because you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s just him, who’s an idiot and a complete coward.

The thing is though as much as he wishes you were gone, he doesn’t want that to happen. Not in a million years, not in a million parallel universes does he want to live his life without you.

He doesn’t want you to leave him because then he’s back to this “noble” son and this “honorable” son status just because he’s willing to take the crown. Luke doesn’t believe he’s any of that, because all his life he’s referred as the “little one,” the “just-in-case” child. He doesn’t like to take pride in who he is because honestly, he was just the back-up. Without you, he reverts back to the ghost of a man who’s merely roaming the castle halls due to an unfortunate curse that left him rotting for nothing on the kingdom’s prized palace.

Yeah sure, throughout his life he was spoiled and tended to the most since he’s the youngest, but those are its only perks. He’s not the “most prized” son nor the “exemplary” son and specifically he’s not the firstborn. He’s just Luke, the next son to inherit the throne unfortunately. Luke was never the chosen son to rule the kingdom. He was never worthy of wielding the the staff his father, and his father’s father, and his father’s father’s father held in their hands to this day. He was the last born, so obviously he never really had a chance at power from the start. Clearly, he doesn’t deserve it now.

So yeah, Luke may be loved to some degree, but he certainly doesn’t feel its warm embrace unless it’s with you.

Luke remembers that day so vividly. That day he found you in the castle garden.

What a mess of a day that was though. Not only was it the day he found about them and all the duties of being a king, but it was also the day of the annual ball his family threw. In between meetings with the neighboring kingdom, he went through fittings after fittings to ensure his suit was as sleek and form fitting as it’s supposed to be. Luke didn’t care though.

God, why should he care?

Third born son, and now he’s next in line to the throne. What kind of bullshit were they throwing at Luke? He didn’t care, okay, but still, he had the right to be angry.

When he exited the castle to cool off and heard voices from the outside, he was so annoyed from his previous activities that he couldn’t be bothered with anyone. All day he’d been told “Luke this. Luke that” and all he wanted to do was nap. Luke hadn’t eaten all day, except those handful of grapes he stole from the kitchen for breakfast because he was in a rush to get to the first meeting since he woke up late. He couldn’t text you in between (and during) meetings because his phone was dead since he forgot to plug his phone to his charger after he called you last night, telling you that he made it home safe. He didn’t sleep well because he was too busy thinking about you and how much trouble he would be in for sneaking out to your house to watch the stars with the telescope he bought you for your last birthday.

You still were paying him back as we speak, because a telescope? That’s way too expensive for you. You would have preferred new scented candles because there was a sale in the village, but Luke, being the affluent, yet compassionate person he is, decided you deserved something much more grand for that year’s birthday. What you don’t know is that each cent you pay back, Luke just adds it to his funds of ‘make (y/n) happy’ list. But that’s none of your business so let’s get back to the day of the ball.

“Petunia! No, stop!” you laughed as the puppy happily jumped on your lap. She slobbered kisses on you until you laid on the ground. The melody of your laughter rang throughout the garden. Such a lovely sound. It was Luke’s favorite thing to hear. Although he loved the sound, his body froze and his annoyance dissipated from him and was replaced with anxiety.

Fuck, Luke thought. What were you doing here? Wait, why was Petunia not inside?

Before opening the gates to the garden, he hid behind the wall to listen to your conversation with his pet.

“Oh, Petunia,” you sighed as the once full of energy pup laid beside you. “You’re such a silly girl. If Luke found you, you would be in so much trouble, but since it’s just me, you’re off the hook,” you booped her nose with playfulness. You continued petting her and rubbing her sides, while humming a tune.

A butterfly flew past and you were in bliss. Nothing could ruin your contentment for those few seconds. You were too busy reminiscing on last night’s stargazing with Luke to hear his grumble from behind the garden gates.

Oh late nights with Luke. What a treasure they were. It’s a bit selfish of you to say but you wish you could keep Luke like that with you, always. He was always so stressed and tired from his duties of being a prince, but when it was just with you, oh what a sight he was. He was so relaxed and untroubled. Lately though, he’s been a little less relaxed and a little more preoccupied, but he still appreciates his time spent with you. He won’t tell you this, but anywhere with you is his favorite place.

If you daydreamed long enough, you could still feel his arms wrapped around you and how he rested his head atop yours. You could still feel him press a kiss to your hair. You could feel the heat radiate off his body and warm you after the late night chilly breeze. If you reminisced long enough, you could relive the moments before he left back for the castle. God, you hoped you were able to veil all the fear, but also affection in your eyes as Luke jumped from your one-story roof. Every second you were with him, you were scared that he would know your secret and he would run away, but you also hoped that the feelings you had for him were mutual. I mean, they had to be if he snuck out from the castle, day and night time, just to get away from the crown, just for a bit and be a regular boy with you, if he took you to the animal shelter and helped him choose Petunia, if he bought you a telescope because he remembered you raving about how you loved to watch the stars, if he lets you play with his hair, if he lets you have the password to his phone and laptop, if he kisses your head and shoulders whenever he’s given the chance, if he instinctively reaches for your hands and fingers when you’re sitting next to each other, if he traces a heart on your knee and your palm. I mean the feelings had to be reciprocated, right? Actions speak louder than words, right?

You interrupted the serenity of your reverie with the words, “I think I’m going to tell him tonight. Or wait, maybe - No, I am definitely doing it.” You laughed at yourself because you were simply talking to yourself despite Petunia’s presence, but then Luke’s large body hit the gate entrance to the garden.

It wasn’t until then Luke could feel the erratic beat of his heart thrumming against his chest. He heard how fond and wondrous your voice was. He saw the look in your eyes of determination but also of softness and something full of love, maybe? He couldn’t tell; you’ve never been in love before so who’s to say that was a look of love and admiration?

But, God, what were you going to confess? And to who?

Petunia’s head shot up, looking for the site that caused the clammer. When she saw Luke, she pounced towards him with a wide smile as he opened the gates and headed towards your direction.

He offered you a smile and wave, while you returned a smile and mouthed a ‘hello’ back to him.

Before he reached you, he squatted down to pet his dog. He enveloped her in cuddles as Petunia peppered his face with slobbery kisses. He began to chuckle as Petunia joyfully jumped around as he opened his arms from the hug. His elbows perched against the garden floor as he watched her look back for between himself and you with a wide smile and happy pep to her steps. Luke closed his eyes with contentment, just enjoying the soft breeze and warmth of the sun. Just a small interaction with his dog and the weight of today’s trouble slipped off his shoulders. He almost forgot about your presence after being involved with Petunia’s antics but then he heard you stifle a laugh from the side. He could hear the gravel move and the grass crunch each step you took to get closer to him.

“Well, hello there, Your Royal Highness,” you teased with a dramatic bow.

Luke groaned at your actions. “(Y/N)... why? You know I hate that.”

You laughed at his complaint. Before speaking, you crouched beside him. “I mean it’s not my fault you’re from royal blood,” you joked.

“Yeah, but - I- ugh,” he struggled.

“Hey, I’m just messing with you. No need to get all flustered, but you okay? You look really tired and more stressed than usual,” you worried.

Oh shit, Luke thought. Should he tell you now? They were announcing it at the ball tonight. Screw it.

You beat Luke to it as you spoke, “You know what you need?”

“What do I need (Y/N)?” Luke rolled his eyes.

“You need a neck massage. And a glass of orange juice maybe, because you look dead,” you smiled. “Come on, get up now big boy. We’ve got a lot to talk about. Or well, I guess more you so than me.” You stood and began tugging Luke’s arm to get his body up from the ground.

“But (Y/N) I don’t wanna… Can’t I just enjoy the sunshine and the breeze for a bit longer?”

“Ugh, fine. C’mere though.”

You sat on the ground again and Luke rested his head in your lap. You instinctively ran your hands through his golden curls, while he hummed with eyes closed.

“We’re best friends, right?” you whispered to him.

Too busy enjoying the feel of your hands, he missed your words. Luke opened his eyes when you removed your hands. A scrunch sketched itself to his face. Why’d you stop playing with his hair?

You timidly stared at the growing flowers beside you in the grass. Fuck, he didn’t hear you. Okay maybe you shouldn’t tell him.

“Hey,” he nudged. You broke your stare and focused back on to Luke. He reached for your hand and interlaced your fingers together. “I love you.”

You bashfully grinned as he pressed a kiss to your knuckles. You replied softly, “And I love you, my sweet prince.”

That last part got caught in the wind though, so now, it’s just you and Mother Earth’s little secret.

In that moment, everything felt okay again. Luke felt okay again. He forgot about his responsibilities for a bit and that was fine by him. He was with his favorite person and nothing could ever top that.

Luke won’t admit it but he still remembers every day, every hour, every minute, every second he’s spent with you. Whether it be at the castle or at the garden or the outskirts of the kingdom by the river, he treasured every moment.

He is still reliving the night of the ball in his head.

Just after the announcement and all the pat on the shoulders and clinking of drinks and ‘congratulations’ thrown at him, he was exhausted. The party was alive, but Luke wasn’t, or well, physically he was. His body seeked the night sky to soothe his headache from all the socializing and sleep deprivation. The stars always brought some solace to Luke whether it be a stormy head or a stormy night. He admired the picturesque twinkling lights, but it was mainly due to you.

Staring at the night sky was your thing, but since introducing it more to Luke, he’s always done it. He likes to think that maybe when he’s looking at the stars, you are too. And sometimes he thinks that maybe when you’re looking at the stars and moon, you think about him as he thinks about you. You’re his sun, moon, and stars, but he won’t admit that to you. Well maybe, not just yet.

He still thinks about the night picnic you planned during springtime (it was many weeks before the royal announcement). That day he saw hope of a future and not a faux one too.

He mainly just remembers you rambling on and on about god knows what, but he didn’t mind. He always enjoyed when you talked. He liked your voice.

He’s also pretty sure he ate almost all the food you prepared while you kept explaining how school slowly became your death. You didn’t mind though because you ate a bit before meeting him, so everything was made specially for him. His heart swooned when you said that, because you cared so much about him and he never felt that specific endearment before.

Okay, he sort of lied earlier, but he doesn’t exactly remember how it went from you complaining about your life to you laying on his lap and watching the stars. But then you felt a bug crawling on your arm and you immediately sat up and ran away from that area on the picnic blanket. While you were in hysterics, Luke was laughing at you.

“I hate you. So. Fucking. Much” you slapped his shoulder.

Luke continued laughing.

This is another part where Luke gets lost in his head and forgets the moments that lead up to this. He just remembers the seconds before and the moments during. Those are the most significant in his head.

You were laying against him and Luke had his arms stretched out behind his body so you two don’t topple onto the ground. You were watching the sky tessellate, but a gusty breeze rustled Luke’s hair. You began laughing at Luke because he looked like a mess, but a pretty mess that had tousled hair everywhere.

You delicately untangled his mess of curls, careful to not pull any hairs and make more knots. He watched your face as you fixed his hair. He liked how careful you are with him, how you treated him so well and so kindly, how you looked in the moonlight, how you bit your lip as you concentrated and god, he wanted to kiss those lips of yours.

You finished untangling his hair, but you didn’t move back to your original position. You pushed some of Luke’s curls behind his ear, just so you could admire his face more. As you retracted your hand, your fingers softly brushed his cheeks and he trapped your hand there. He held your hand there for a moment before pressing a kiss to your palm. But soon after, he put your hand back to where it once was so it cupped his jaw. He looked at you so intimately and intensely with a gentle smile you thought your heart would burst from how fast it beat in your chest.

Your breath hitched when you saw Luke’s eyes scan your face and stopped briefly to look at your mouth just a couple seconds longer.

“(Y/N)?” Luke whispered.

“Yeah,” you replied breathlessly.

“Can I kiss you?” he requested.

You were in too much of a shock to register Luke shifting so he was sitting up straighter so he could rest his forehead against yours. “Princess, please answer me. I need to know,” he begged.

You mumbled a yes before closing your eyes and leaning in just enough so your noses brush.

Fuck, Luke thought. Is this really happening? Am I dreaming?

Luke brushed his lips against yours and you let out a whimper. Your thumb rubbed against his cheek, just as a reassurance that this was real and this was about to happen.

And then, it happened.

Luke’s lips pressed against yours in the most delicious and delicate way. Firm enough to feel your lips fully, but soft enough for you to pull away. Then you did something he didn’t expect, which was kiss him back.

You smiled into the kiss as Luke began to properly kiss your mouth. You loved the feel of Luke’s lips against yours and how your bodies responded to one another. You were so entranced with his lips that you didn’t realize how you subconsciously moved so you were straddling his hips and your hands rested on his shoulders that were starting to snake to his neck and hair. Luke’s hands gripped your hips as if instinct. You shifted your position a little so you could get closer to Luke, but a loud groan escaped his lips, and you pulled back immediately.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Fuck, Luke, oh my god I just-” and your words died down at the sounds of Luke’s raspy laughter. Your eyebrows knitted together. “Why are you laughing? Luke, this is serious.”

But Luke couldn’t stop laughing. You were so pure and cute.

“Baby, you did nothing wrong,” he finally responded.

He watched your face contort from annoyance to confusion. “What do you mean ‘nothing’s wrong’? I literally heard you groan. I must have hurt you somehow.”

He chuckled at your innocence. “Nope, ya didn’t hurt me.” His eyes were shining with stars and he couldn’t believe that just happened. He couldn’t believe he just kissed his best friend. God knows how long he’s been waiting to do that. “Okay, maybe a little bit but in a good way.”

“In a good way? Luke, what the fuck are you on?”

“I mean it felt good.”

“Oh” Heat spread across your cheeks.

A muffled ‘mhmm’ came from Luke as he nuzzled his head into your neck. He pressed his lips at the junction between your collarbone and neck. You could feel his stubble rub against your neck and you let a whine.

Your eyes widened with fear. Was that supposed to happen? Oh shit, what the fuck is wrong with me?

“Just like that, baby. That’s what it felt like,” Luke smirked.

Screw the castle. Screw the announcement. Screw the throne. Screw everything. Luke just wanted you, but he knows that dreams don’t always come true.

But sometimes Luke cherishes the memories a little too much. Sometimes he forgets the past is the past and he is living in the present.

It’s been a week since the ball and nothing has really changed in the castle.

Luke stumbled down the stairs and noisily entered the dining hall. His hair was disheveled still, obvious that he just woke up. By the time he reached his seat, he was sure he was going to pass out.

He’s never ran that fast before. Okay, that’s a lie. There was this one time where he chased you and he tripped and you were too busy laughing so beautifully with the sun enchanting your figure for him to scowl and throw a snarky remark at you.

Once finally catching his breath, he greeted, “Good morning, Father, Mother.”

The look of disapproval on the queen’s face shut his mouth, but the king was quieting his chuckles at his unkempt son. “You’re late,” the queen remarked.

“I know, Mother. I can ex-”

“I don’t want to hear it” the queen interrupted. Luke didn’t understand why his mother was so upset. He’s been late to breakfast before, so what’s so different about today’s?

Then he saw you and his eyes nearly flew out of his skull. The memories of last night were fresh on his mind again.

Luke won’t admit it to you, but one look at you and he can still feel your fingers caressing his face from the night before. He can still feel your lips on his cheeks, his nose, his eyelids, his forehead, his palm, but most of all, he can still feel your petal soft lips on his and how you always try to stop smiling in between kisses, but you can’t help yourself, so you pull away and rest your forehead on his, with eyes still closed and a toothy grin on your face. And when you open your eyes, he swears to god that he can see the universe in your eyes. He’s overwhelmed with this deep emotion of adoration and contentment and he wonders, is this what it’s like to be in love?

Luke won’t admit it, but if he asks you who your best friend is, he hopes you lie and say it’s someone else. Because then it would hurt less and the pain would be easier to manage, knowing you weren’t as deeply invested as he was.

But he knows that’s not true. He sees it in your eyes and your smile and the way you brush hair out of his face when you both lie in the meadow by the river along the outskirts of the kingdom. He sees it in the crooked grin on your face when Petunia always jumps on him after he’s spent the day with you. He feels it in the way you rest your head on his shoulder when you’re stargazing during your late night picnics in the castle garden. He feels it in the way you always choke a sigh after he bids you farewell and good night with a forehead kiss. He hears it in the way you laugh at his terrible puns and his awful jokes. Most of all, he hears it in the way you playfully retort an “I hate you” to him when he’s being a little shit, because he knows you don’t mean it one bit, not at all. He knows that it’s the opposite and that’s why it hurts to much and that’s why he has yet to confess to you.

The queen’s eyes held so much rage in them. You were afraid to interject and explain what happened. Luke, however, was too much in shock of seeing you there, present at the dining table in the broad daylight.

“Actually, Luke, I would love for you to explain to me on what’s going on between the two of you. Last time I checked, you were betrothed,” Luke’s mother spat.

Betrothed? He’s fucking betrothed. You mentally noted.

How did you not know that though? I mean, hello, there was a ball and an announcement.

“I- um- uh- they’re my -” Luke stuttered.

“They’re what, Luke? Hmm?” the queen passively retaliated.

You stood from your seat, not caring how rude you were being to the royal family. You couldn’t bear being in this room any further. You announced, “I’m so sorry for the interruption, Your Highness, but I believe this is a conversation I shouldn’t be present for. This is one that is much more private and none of my concern. I thank you for your hospitality and I apologize for the intrusion I’ve held in your lives. Please, excuse me, Your Majesty and Your Highness.”

“You’re excused, (Y/N). Please forgive me for my rude behavior,” the queen said smugly.

However, there is one thing Luke will admit and tell you, and it’s that you’re his best friend and he loves you so goddamn much, but he’s sorry he didn’t tell you sooner.

a/n - feedback is always appreciated :-) thank you x

part 2

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montrealimprov · 7 years ago

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Meet Your Makers: Indie Night’s Alex Brown and Saima Ahmed

Interview by Isobel Cully

Meet the legends that make Indie Night happen EVERY WEEK, Alex Brown and Saima Ahmed.

You know Alex as an improviser, sketch comedian and all around funny person (Lil Strawberry Bitch, Fancy at The Haunt, Camp Wanapoke, etc, etc, etc). You know Saima as the girl behind the camera, taking sick pics of your favourite performers and making you jealous on Instagram. You know both of them as Montreal Improv’s best dressed duo. You can go see them host Indie Night every Saturday night at 9:30 PM, in Theatre B.

1. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

AB: Yes, I would like to be a famous podcaster and/or filmmaker/performer. I pretty much have the same career ambitions now as I did when I was 6 years old. Except for the podcasting part, if you asked me what podcasting was when I was 6 I would have probably explained it as some kind of net you cast to catch...pods? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

SA: Tbh, I don’t think so! It seems so competitive! I’m more a “behind the scenes” but very much in control gal. I prefer to be recognized and appreciated for my work and connect with people that way. In other words, I still want to dress up and go to the Oscars but as a producer rather than an actor.

2. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

AB: Mind for sure. I plan on having a tight bod when I’m 90 and I need my mind to keep up.

SA: Hm tough call. I’m going to agree with Al, an active mind means an active body!

3. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

AB: My dearly departed yellow lab Winnie and we would share a spaghetti dinner with a side of corn on the cob because those were her faves.

SA: Michelle Obama! To talk about how we can help empower women to run the world over some fish tacos.

4. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

AB: The ability to know which ability or quality I would like to gain. So I guess decision making and resolve?

SA: The ability to help create peaceful resolutions between 2 parties. Imagine how useful that would be in 2018!

5. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

AB: I thought this said ‘secret lunch’ at first so I’m assuming it’s going to have something to do with my not being able to read instructions properly and things going horribly awry. Conversely if it turned out to be lunch related I wouldn’t be mad.

SA: Haha, I’m a speed reader and I read secret lunch too! Agree 100% with Al on this.

6. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

AB: I wish I had a better answer for this than ‘in an improv show’, but I will have to admit that I serenaded a group of paying audience members this past Friday night with a rousing rendition of ‘I Wanna Be the First Female CEO’ at Friday Night’s Main Event - Fridays at 8:30pm at Montreal Improv ;)

SA: I have been singing “The Kids Are Alright” by Chloe x Halle to myself for a few weeks now. I’m a horrible singer so I avoid singing in public at all cost.

GROUP QUESTIONS

8. Make three true “we” statements.

We both love thrift shopping

We both love a good time

Against our better judgment, we both are close personal friends with Seth Galina

9. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how she might handle it.

AB: What can I do to stay focused and/or motivated at my day job?

SA: Before you start, make a list of things you need to do. I find it surprisingly satisfying (even motivating) to cross things off my list. Also take breaks, I find it helps me focus if I know that afterwards I can chill.

AB: I am MC’ing a friend’s backyard wedding this summer, what should I wear?

SA: For the MC, I would say lean towards a bit more of a classic silhouette and add some Alex Brown touches via accessories to keep it hip. I’m a fan of a unique dress or a chic jumpsuit.

SA: I know for a fact that you are a morning person. I have trouble waking up really early, any tips?

AB: Unfortunately there’s no real easy hack for this, I think you’re either a morning person or you’re not. That said I’m sure you could cultivate habits over time to get better at it. I drink a really big glass of water as soon as I wake up and then I go to the gym or try to do a little bit of exercise at home at least. Giving yourself some time for you is super important. My motto for 2018 and beyond is ‘self care, don’t care’!

SA: I’m going to be moving soon but before that, I want to get rid of shit I don’t need. What’s the best method to declutter?

AB: Honestly since I’m a basic binch I pray to the goddess of tidiness, Marie Kondo. Her book actually taught me so much about getting rid of stuff. I can confidently say that the only clothes I own now are ones that ‘spark joy’. You can borrow my copy! Jk I don’t have it anymore, I gave it away.

SHOW QUESTIONS

10. Describe your show, Indie Night.

Indie Night is a weekly improv show that showcases performers of various experience levels from all over the city! We have a bit of everything from solo improv, class fields trips, current and past house teams and some pretty cool out of town acts. We’ve even had some musical acts! Indie Night takes place every Saturday night at 9:30pm and the last Saturday of the month is *Ladies Night*, featuring all female/female-identifying performers.

10. What excites you the most about your show?

We love that we have this amazing platform and get to provide the opportunity to new acts to perform. We are often the origin story show for some troupes that go onto create some pretty funny things. For some players Indie Night is even the very first time they’ve ever performed in front of an audience, which is very exciting!

The show isn’t just for newbies, we have all sorts of acts featuring varying levels of players. The fun thing about Indie Night is that you can see more experienced players perform with newer players and you never know what you’re gonna get on any given Saturday!

11. In 5 words, why should people come to Indie Night?

It is a good time!

FINAL QUESTIONS

12. Where can people find you (twitter, instagram, snapchat, kik, omegle, myspace, etc.)?

SA: You can find Indie Night at Montreal Improv on Facebook. We also have a hashtag across all social media #indienightmtl . You can find me on Instagram @steezsister and Twitter @_SaimaAhmed. You can also find us both Saturday Nights at 9:30 at Indie Night! Did you like that subtle plug?

AB: I’m on Instagram at @djbabybrown but I haven’t posted since October 2017 and I mostly only follow plants and Simpsons merch accounts. :) Seth Galina is @sethgalina on Instagram and Twitter.

13. Is there anything you want the Montreal Improv community to know (about you or in general)?

SA: I think this goes for both of us, we’re always here! Come say hi and talk to us, we don’t bite. Or so we haven’t been told otherwise yet.

AB: I will bite you if you ask nicely. :)

14. Do you want to plug anything else?

INDIE NIGHT. INDIE NIGHT. INDIE NIGHT.

Alex’s sketch comedy troupe, Lil Strawberry Bitch, will be performing at Sketch Republic on Thursday, April 19 at 8:30pm at MIT and then at the Montreal Sketchfest on May 10th at 8pm at Theatre Sainte-Catherine.

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dcnativegal · 7 years ago

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Another autumn behind the sagebrush curtain

Something I’m getting used to in Christmas Valley is body odor. I don’t want to embarrass my smelly clients but I also need to breathe, so I regularly plug in one of those melted wax aromatic thingamajigs, and it does help. But I was in line at the Chevron, which is also kind of a fast food joint and a grocery store, and the gentleman before me was quite odiferous. Wow, phew, ack. A lot of my clients and perhaps a significant part of the population up in North County is without running water, sewage hookup, and/or electricity. Maybe you’ve heard of that zen saying’. Before Enlightenment: chop wood, haul water. After Enlightenment, chop wood, haul water. Well, all that chopping and hauling is the day to day reality here with no pretensions for spiritual edification.

I did a couple’s counseling session recently and one point of contention was who does the dishes. Sounds familiar to most couples, amiright? In this case, it’s a matter of hauling water and sometimes but not always heating it to do the dishes. Good grief. Same with gardening. You want vegetables? You gotta haul the water.

When money is tight, and a felon and his disabled girlfriend are living on her disability check, and sometimes his phone is out of minutes and sometimes hers is, and they haul water, and sometimes pay for a shower at the RV park ($4. Not sure if shampoo is provided), and the laundromat is 40 miles from your homestead…. Body odor will result. Me and my nose will adapt.

Winter is on its way. We’ve already had several frosts. The outdoor potted plants are now indoor. We never did plant the azaleas that Karen gave us to prove that azaleas are possible to grow in the high desert. (I remain skeptical.) One just up and died, and the other one is on a window ledge by the wood stove. I’m back to keeping a warm coat in the car just in case the car breaks down and I have to wait in the cold for help. I have an emergency kit, a spare tire, bottled water and protein bars. I don’t plan to break down any time soon or to hit a deer or god help me an elk, but you never know. I’ve learned from last winter to be prepared. Cell phone reception is an iffy thing, and we all depend on the kindness of strangers in bad weather. At the beginning of November, I’ll have my studded tires put on and then I’ll be ready for whatever ice and snow gets tossed on us humans in these high altitudes.

I learned recently that for every 1000 feet in altitude, it is 5 degrees color than at sea level. So at 4,000 feet up, it’s 20 degrees cooler. Lakeview, the county seat, is the highest altitude town in Oregon. That doesn’t seem right, since there are the Cascades and all. Maybe the highest county seat.

It’s gonna be in the 80s today in DC. A bit warm for early October but by no means unusual. It was 29 last night in Paisley.

I’ve graduated a bunch of people with Substance Use Disorder since I started in February, giving them a certificate, notifying their probation officer, closing out their treatment plan, changing their diagnosis to say, in remission, making a compliance note, and then a service conclusion note. They are so happy not to have to call in every morning to see if their random urinalysis color is on for the day. If their color is called, they have to get to our offices during the day, and if they work a job during the day, it’s a hassle, although most employers are cool with it. I’ve been flexible with my clients since I started practicing in North Lake, allowing the clients to come in for a spit test (for guys because I’m a gal) or a pee test or UA (for gals because I’m a gal so I can watch them pee. Oh joy.) when they are already in town, saving them gas and another trip to come in between 4 and 5 when we’re supposed to be most available for drug tests. And I’ve been happy to oblige. However, I’ve been informed from people above my pay grade that I’m not supposed to be that flexible, ‘cause then everyone will want to come in whenever. So new clients are going to have to come in from 4 to 5pm when their color is called. Gas or no gas. If they ‘no show’, they have to start the 90 days over again.

I have an ambivalent relationship to the punitive aspects of drug treatment. Sometimes I think, just have abundant available treatment options, people, and come on, taxpayers, pay up. And other times I see that, in one case or another, threat of jail and even brief time in jail scares them sober. I’m particularly worried about the poverty around here. A gallon of gas is beyond some folks some days. I do encourage my clients to quit smoking because you could buy gas with that cigarette money.

Or food. One of my clients just had kids taken by DHS and now the client is not eligible for food stamps. Apparently, when single years ago, this client could get food stamps for a month near to $200. Not anymore. Do folks realize that it is Democrats who shore up the ‘safety net’ and increase food stamp allowances? Not these folks. If they vote, they vote Republican. Do I point this out in session? No, I do not.

I wish I could tell you some stories from my clients’ worlds but I can’t. I will share themes, instead.

One theme for people with ‘substance use disorders’ is about cannabis. I have at least 4 clients who have stopped using methamphetamine, and good on them. Seriously. But they still smoke pot. Weed. A bowl. Now and then or several times a day. And they object to the fact that their body fluid drug tests (spit or pee) are ‘dirty’ with THC. They stopped using meth! They aren’t drinking whisky or beer. Why can’t they have weed? It’s LEGAL. It’s NATURAL.

If you’re under 18 it is NOT legal.

If you’re on probation for a drug offense, and sometimes if it is not a drug offense but you’re on probation, or you lost your kids to foster care for domestic violence, then YOU CAN’T USE POT. PERIOD.

I tell them, I’m so sorry, but that’s the rules. And my job is to help you get off probation. I did not make the rules. Neither did the probation officers. If they want to lobby Oregon state legislature, get on to Salem, and knock yourself out. Meanwhile, YOU CAN’T USE IT.

So then I hear, but I can’t sleep without it. I get so angry without it. It helps me cope with my PTSD. Which is for real.

It’s MEDICINAL.

Do they have a medical marijuana card? Nope. And even if they did, most judges say, tough, no THC in the drug test. No nothing in the drug test. Not a single beer.

Okay then, let’s look at the options for treating the PTSD. Nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks, hypervigilance. There are options. Some of them has to do with talk therapy, and that’s where I come in. but there is help from medications. There really is. I’ve seen it work since I got here. We have a psychiatric consultant who is a nurse practitioner. He treats half the rural counties in Oregon, and does it remotely from The Dalles. Thursday is Lake County day. He looks like Arlo Guthrie, and recently failed to kill a single elk with his bow during a 10 day vacation.

Okay, so these clients then say, drugs aren’t natural. Pot is natural.

My retort is that arsenic and uranium are natural, too.

They don’t want to be dependent on a drug. Excuse me, what is cannabis? They don’t want to have to pay for a drug. They grow their own medicine in the form of pot and why is that a problem? I mention again, it’s against the terms of probation.

But, but, I once was on a drug and it made me crazy. Did you try another drug? Nope.

I don’t believe in drugs. So if you had an infection in your leg and it was either take an antibiotic or have it cut off, what would you do? Stuff it with herbs and wait.

See what I’m up against? Those clients who kicked meth but work daily on 6 bowls of pot, chopping wood, hauling water, hustling cigarettes, bartering for hay for the goats and feed for the chickens are going to be on probation forever. I’ve had clients on probation for 7 years. Alrighty then. I’m taking your spit and meeting with you and your probation officer looks at you with the stink eye and Oregon Health Plan pays for me and the spit, and taxpayers pay for the probation officer, and here we are.

For the folks who finally get clean of all of those substances, gosh they are my favorite clients. I miss them when they graduate. They are so glad to be done, to be off probation, to have a simple life with a job and their kids at home, and church on Sunday. I give them their certificate, tell them to stop by to visit if they’re nearby, lend them movies for free, and remind them to be nice to gay people. (Especially at church.) Off they go.

At some point they made a decision to get clean and stay clean. For most but not all it was residential rehabilitation that did they trick. Removed them from their day to day, sat them down with a counselor and with a group of fellow ‘substance use disordered’ folks, and forced them to gaze at their navel. After a month or 3 months, boom, they are clean and sober. They return to 90 days of random testing and weekly visits with me in what is called aftercare. And then, they are DONE. And their sweet simple life is so sweet and so blissfully simple.

Mostly I sit and listen to their stories. I am grateful to be a witness to their transformation.

I wish I could do a study of all the gay people who grew up in Lake County. I’d like to know how they survived high school at one of the three schools (North Lake, Paisley and Lakeview). When did they came out to themselves, to one other person, to their parents, and what happened then? Where did they move after high school? How out are they now? And are they okay. (Did it get better?)

I have pretty darn good gaydar which I keep refining over the years. I’ve been wrong a few times, because effeminate men can be straight, and butch women can be, too. But I knew the first few minutes of the movie Juno that the actress, Ellen Page, was gay, and that was years before she came out. I just knew it by how she marched to the convenience store for yet another pregnancy test. I said, lesbian. Queen Latifah is gay, too. I don’t think she’s ever coming out. Jody Foster. Most definitely, and finally out. Anyway, there are two boys in Paisley that I think are gay. And I don’t know for sure. But I wish I could cast a protective aura around them. Because whatever they evolve into, (gay, bisexual, trans) they could be targeted because they are gentler, more creative, and have emotional intelligence. We’ll see. I’m not close enough to either of them to offer protection. And one is related to a very conservative family. So I’m just watching. I’m not sure what else to do. I go to the same church as these boys (when I go to church in Paisley). So that’s something. My mere presence as an out gay person must mean something.

Maybe next June I’ll hang a rainbow flag on the house. I fear a stray bullet. Or rather, an intentional bullet coming from a 12 gauge. I know, from good authority (Valerie’s daughter), that ‘nobody cares.’ But I don’t quite believe that. I still don’t have the nerve to put on my car, in defiance, the brilliant bumper sticker: I don’t mind straight people if they act gay in public.

I miss gay people. There is Valerie. And a few lesbians in Klamath County that I located with the help of google, the Herald and News (out of Klamath Falls) and one lesbian in particular who hooked me up with the others. I am ridiculously glad to see my one gay male friend who works with some of my clients, and now that another of my clients has moved to a third foster home, he is no longer the client’s worker so I see him less often. But he stopped by last week in Christmas Valley and is investigating a former client so maybe I’ll see more of him. Not that I ever wish anyone to be investigated because some kid is neglected. But sometimes kids need to be rescued and parents need a wake up call. He’s an awesome social worker, and all around great husband and father to four kids (who were born to substance use disordered cousins). Gay men make perfect friends for women, gay or straight. They have emotional intelligence. They don’t want to get in your pants. And sometimes, they share your interests, like knitting. Or social work. Valerie’s first husband’s husband knits AND crochets.

It’s dusty out here. Sometimes it’s alkali dust from the dried patches of the lakes, when the wind is just right. Sometimes it’s dirt dust. This weekend I’m staying in a tiny town in Deschutes county where Valerie is cow and puppy sitting. The ranch house is full of flies; she says it’s because of how close the leppies (baby calves whose mother rejected them) are to the house. But when I visited her here when she was the main ranchhand, a few summers ago, there were piles of dead flies in the window sills. She was just now talking to her sister on the phone and walking around killing fly after fly. I am amazed at her deadly skill. And then there’s dust. On everything. Thick layers of it. She apparently mopped thoroughly ever single floorboard just yesterday. Today I can write my name in the dust with my be-socked toe. The views from the house are beautiful. The house itself is adorable, with a lovely porch, decorated in Rustic Cowboy. But I am having trouble with the dust. Val says, at least it’s not bus exhaust and city soot. Yea, true. But when I close the windows in the city, the soot stays outside. She says it’s because of the wind here. And the dirt is just real dry. The dirt can go wherever it wants to! I just don’t want to live in it.

I didn’t realize I’m such a prissy butt.

I’m near to Bend while visiting Brothers, which is a proper city, with stop lights and everything. I have a ‘must visit’ list now every time I approach a city: If it’s Sunday, I attend church. I check out the ethnic food. (I highly recommend the salmon pho with the cheerful all-male waiters at the Vietnamese.) I check out the local yarn shop and make a bee line for the sale bin. And I see a movie. If I’m lucky I can do all four.

Tomorrow, we’re going to an episcopal church, and sing hymns with multiple verses that I recognize. Alleluia. Not sure where we’ll eat. I’m voting for Indian. I have enough yarn (for the rest of my existence) so I’ll pass on the store this time. On Monday when I’m heading back south, I’ll go into Bend again and I’ll probably see Blade Runner 2049. I loved the first version, and I’ll love this one, too. I’ll have had my fix, and head south into a food desert, conservative churches, and zero movie theaters. Although the chili and cornbread at the Sage Hen Café is pretty good and I love the chicken and avocado Caesar salad at ‘erry’ restaurant. It used to be Jerry’s, but the J and the s are missing.

Dallas is not in Texas. Springfield is not in Massachusetts or Ohio. Lewisburg is not in Pennsylvania. Florence is not in Italy. Newport is not in Rhode Island. Bridgeport is not in Connecticut. Warrenton is not in Virginia. Oakland is not in California. I’ve mentioned before that Albany is not in New York, and Ontario is not in Canada, either. They are all in Oregon. The ocean, known as the coast or the beach, is West, not East, of wherever I am. Do not under any circumstances pass a snow plow on the right. That’s just dumb. And never go into a rural area without a full tank of gas. I started out at the edge of a reservation on the way to Portland recently and figured there was a gas station. WRONG. I spent about 30 miles wondering what I would do if I ran out of gas. With no phone signal. And way past the age where all I had to do was show a little leg (a la It Happened One Night.) I figured maybe I write a big sign that said OUT OF GAS, and pray. But I finally made it to a gas station just in time.

Also in Oregon: Sweet Home, Bonanza, Remote. Halfway, Paradise, Pendleton, Aloha. Eightmile, Thirtymile, Tenmile and Friend. Chiloquin, Keno, and Paisley.

One benefit of living in a frontier outpost is that there are virtually no chain businesses, with the exception of a couple of gas stations and the one Safeway in Lakeview. One Dollar Store and a True Value. Everything else is a small business. You can buy almost anything from a store that has only one location. I can buy excellent quality yarn at Willows in Christmas Valley. There are at least 3 thrift shops with big selections. I bought a little bit of furniture for my office at a store in Lakeview. Many stores serve multiple functions, like the Chevron/fast food/grocery store. The True Value sells toys. You can buy clothes and rent movies at Santa’s Hardware in Christmas Valley. Ammo, knickknacks, milk, nails, and deodorant are available at the Paisley Mercantile. If you’re into quilting, there are shops in Lakeview and Paisley. The county could use more pharmacies—there is only one, called Howard’s, in Lakeview. And there is the one hospital, of which I am an employee since they took over the county mental health service. Folks in north lake county go shopping up in another county, Deschutes, where there is Costco and Walmart and BiMart, which has a pharmacy. Is BiMart only for bisexuals? No. Bisexuals are the largest category of not-straight, though you’d never know it by popular culture. I guess I’d have to dust off my official bisexual card. Kidding. No such thing. I’m a lesbian-identified bisexual, based on my history, and a persistent crush on Ryan Gosling. Anyway, we support small businesses out of necessity here in the Oregon Outback because we have no choice. And I gladly pay a little more for gas at the Summer Lake General Store and the Chewaucan garage to thank them for persisting and existing.

Since I moved out here, I’ve been especially interested in stories in the news about people who are building bridges, across class and race and political party. Black friends on facebook encourage all their white friends to be a proactive ally against racism in all its forms. I do speak up when there is an opportunity, which is a tricky thing to recognize. Speaking up in a way that communicates, and builds a bridge. I listen to a bunch of podcasts which are focusing on studies of bias (Hidden Brain, Invisibilia, Freakonomics.) A recent story from Sincerely x was narrated by a black woman who was told repeatedly by her mom and her teachers that she ‘ain’t nothing, and ain’t gonna BE nothing.’ She has proven everyone wrong. I listen to This American Life, Moth Radio Hour, Strangers, Terrible Thanks for Asking, and a couple with funny names like “Conversations with People who Hate Me.” There’s a podcast called Home of the Brave, and the narrator interviews Trump supporters hoping to understand them better, and another called Strangers, same thing. Us & Them is a podcast out of West Virginia. It had a recent episode called Hillers and Creekers which described the bullying that upper class (Hillers) did to working class (Creekers) residents. Wow. To make sure I don’t lose touch altogether with black culture, I listen to 2 Dope Queens and Historically Black. I’ve subscribed to Reparations but haven’t listened yet. There’s Still Processing from the New York Times, which focused on biracial folks in the most recent episode. I fill my ears and mind with hours of podcasts every week, what with all the driving I do beyond the reach of radio. I am the better for it. I may work less than 30 hours a week, but I drive another 8 hours for my commute.

I confess I wish someone would like to build a bridge to me. A friend of Valerie’s invited us over for dinner early on, and included one of the resident gun-worshipping, trump-supporting curmudgeons. She proceeded to start a conversation about racism. It did not go well. Of course, the curmudgeon did not have a racist bone in his body (where are those blasted racist bones, anyway?) And, naturally, he’d had one unfortunate encounter with a black person in which the black person was mean to him and so, that’s it: black people had a chance and they blew it. It was too vast a territory to traverse over tri tip. He didn’t trust me. And I don’t know what our host intended. Self-described as a moderate republican, she is a decent person, and noble to the point of saintliness in some of her activities here in rural America. But I felt put on the spot, and discouraged. I’m game. But I do not desire to be put on a hot seat and ask to explain 400 years of white supremacy, and why it is still real and still important, as a sort of freak show. I had an idea about starting an anti-racist book group when I first arrived. Let me get my health together first; i just don’t have the energy right now.

Have I mentioned how gorgeously beautifully picturesque this place is? How happy I am to snuggle next to my beloved girlfriend in the fake brass bed I got off of the DC Craigslist? How much I enjoy all the wool I am collecting? I am one prolific lap blanket maker right about now. How glad I am that I made this move?

#antiracism addiction lgbt rural

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