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forceyourway · 7 years ago

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Tree of Life Shadow Work Challenge

Day Two: “What facet of my childhood have I overlooked or otherwise need to evaluate?”

(Using Loki’s tarot deck, “The Raven’s Prophecy Tarot”)

The Magician - A master of all they undertake, The Magician has extraordinary influence on the world. They’re versatile; they can shape things and bring them into being, alter them, and destroy them. As such, they are in a sense indomitable; they can take whatever the world throws at them and make it their own. I thought this would be Loki’s signifier, as I experience him very much in this way, but he ended up going for the Nine of Wands. I do maintain that he fits the description, and though it may not be is calling card, he is The Magician all the same. This may be about recognizing how he fits into my life, and/or about recognizing my own power and ability to control my destiny. Both, probably. Both is good.

My Childhood

Trace back your memories as far as you can. Try to overview your early life in as much detail as possible. Articulate or otherwise express how you experienced childhood as a whole. Heed to any areas of resistance you encounter. Note pivotal turning points or memories that stand out. Attempt to recall the first time you experienced emotions like sadness, anger, jealousy, anxiety, remorse, and contempt.

TW: abuse, child abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological abuse, mental abuse, spiritual abuse, bullying, Christianity

It sucked, basically. My mom’s abusive, my dad’s abusive, my sister’s abusive, everyone’s abusive.

When I was young, I’m not sure how young, but before 3rd grade, my dad was setting off fireworks in the backyard. He’s still really into that. They’re illegal in my state, so a police car came by, and I think they were asking my dad questions. My babysitter took me and my sister and ran upstairs to hide. Maybe in a closet. I didn’t know what was going to happen and I was scared. That’s probably my first “fear” moment. That or walking in on my mom watching poltergeist, holy shit that was terrifying. I still can’t do scary movies, especially not supernatural ones. I had a crush on the boy who lived a few houses down. He was a few years older than me, and his sister was the babysitter mentioned above. Sometimes I hung out over at their house, playing Sonic and stuff. One day, he and his older brother staged some kind of ridiculous murder scene downstairs. They kept trying to get me down by bribing me with lollipops, but I kept refusing. I knew they were up to something. I don’t remember how I ended up going down - maybe just to get them to stop bugging me - but they played out this whole thing where there was a murderer in the house and he was slowly killing everyone. Ketchup and lemonade (to make their voice hoarse, as if they were choked) were involved. I knew the “blood” was ketchup and that everything was fake, but ended up getting really upset by the thought of my crush being murdered. That’s probably my first “anxiety/despair” moment.

We moved the summer before I started 3rd grade, I think, and stayed there for the entirety of my childhood. I’m not sure when my parents started going at each other. I remember we went to Disney World, maybe when I was in 5th grade? and there was a good bit of screaming at each other then. I don’t remember it before; maybe I was too young to know. Regardless, Disney World is probably my happiest (childhood) memory.

In 5th grade, we went to a Catholic school. I was bullied by pretty much everyone, even my “best friend,” who ended up being a sort of nightmare. But otherwise, nothing too crazy.

When I was in 6th grade, my mom took me and my sister and ran off to another state (where our extended family is). No warning. One day we were just gone. I don’t remember how she explained that to us. We went to a Catholic school that had a serious Hive Mentality thing going on. They didn’t want me and my sister. Our teachers were horrible to us, and I kept ending up in situations where I looked very guilty but was in fact innocent and totally oblivious to what was going on. This is probably the start of “anger.” They wanted to expel me, but couldn’t come up with a reason why. My mom immediately started seeing other people, and my dad was furious. He’s of a very traditional mindset, marriage is forever, your duty is to your family, blah blah. So he did some e-mail hacking and ended up posing as an online therapist, who encouraged my mom to go back to him. She still doesn’t know.

That’s about when shit started getting really bad. He would scream til he was purple about how awful she was, pretty much all hours, pretty much every day, I think. Anti-women slurs everywhere. When me or my sister displeased him, he’d turn it on us. Even casual conversation with him was somehow linked back to our mother “ruining our lives.” At some point there was family therapy, which was an absolute disaster. They said I was “Obsessive Defiant.” I guess “abused” was never even a consideration. He’d start screaming “Defiance!” at me if I didn’t do a thing fast enough, like, “Pass the butter. Defiance!!!” like shit give me a second. My mom I guess blamed us for our dad’s BS and was always on about how we’re ruining her life and how I’m some kind of evil devil child and I’d have nightmares all the time about burning in hell.

The second half of 6th grade I went back into public school, and basically went right to my closest friends from public-elementary-school, who were The Losers. No one else remembered me, so going straight for The Losers pretty much instantly made me one of them. Probably the most, like, “establishing character moment” in my life, and the first "fuck you” at the world moment. Like I was starting to realize what behaviour was not acceptable among people (after fucking up a whole lot first, courtesy of my parents), and pretty much took a hard stand against bullshit, and recognizing my friends being The Losers was messed up. I got bullied. One girl beat the shit out of me once. My dad picked me up from a sleepover at her house, and blamed me for it. Obviously I must have deserved it, or something.

My sister was a weird aggressive child who physically grew up too fast, if you get me. She was always jealous that I got along so well with our cousin (she was like in-between us, age-wise), and her favorite game was Beat Up. It’s exactly what it sounds like, with me as the target. People don’t take notice because she’s younger than me - a good bit younger - but damn if she wasn’t bigger/stronger than me, like. There’s more, but I won’t type that on here. I don’t talk about that.

High school there was more persistent bullying, but never physical. Only the one time ever was. In 9th grade it got to the point where I just stopped talking. I’d talk to like 1 person, and at home because god, can you imagine what would have happened if I went silent at home. “Defiance!!11!1″ I think in 10th it got better. I kind of acquired friends because my (new) best friend was friends with a bunch of people, and I was always hanging out with her. We’re all still friends now. I guess.

No one knew about my family’s issues. Not my friends, anyway. One of my sister’s friends found out once after kind of witnessing my dad beat the shit out of me because I refused to go swimming at the river (I was on my period, dude). He was screaming about how I was destroying the family or something??? I provoked him into hitting me, so he smacked the shit out of me. The poor girl was apparently smacked around herself, because she didn’t take seeing this well at all. I remember my dad was going to drive me to school for my senior picture, and I was tying my shoelaces and clearing my throat. You know how your voice kind of catches in your throat? For some reason he assumed this was me throwing a fit about him not “getting ready fast enough”??? and he started with the usual screaming. I said fine, I’ll walk, not wanting to really ride with that anyway. I get about halfway there, and he’s in the car hanging out the window, purple-red, screaming about how if I don’t get in the car he’ll drag me in, and my mother, my mother, it’s all her fault, I’m just like her. I tried sitting in the back. Wrong choice. He screamed in my face the whole way there. I was crying hysterically at school, but trying to hide it. People who hated me were asking me what was wrong. None of my friends were there. I was trying not to burst into tears literally as they were taking my picture.

It was bad. My childhood was bad. Bad all over. Not sure what you’re looking for here, really.

#Tree of Life Shadow Work Chalenge #Tarot #Divination #Divination Challenges #@unmaskingthedivine #Abuse #Child Abuse #Physical Abuse #Mental Abuse #Psychological Abuse #Trauma #Christianity #Spiritual Abuse #Bullying

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daleisgreat · 5 years ago

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Fast & Furious 6

Thanks for joining me once again as I march through the Fast and Furious films in anticipation of the next release in the franchise, Hobbes & Shaw. We are not here to talk about that film coming August 9th of this year, instead we are here to revisit 2013’s Fast & Furious 6 (trailer. I vividly remember seeing this in the theater with friends and taking in yet another ridiculously over-the-top action installment of the series that Fast Five steered the direction of the brand in. I will never forget friends instantly dismissing the outrageous nature of the stunts in disbelief coming out of the theater, but upon re-watching it this week I only learned to embrace its style of unbelievable. FF6 kicks off a few months after Fast Five where Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) gets back home in Spain just in time for Mia (Jordana Brewster) to deliver their first child. Not all is sunshine and rainbows however as they soon receive a visit from Dom (Vin Diesel) who informs them of the news he just got from special forces agent Hobbes (The Rock) that Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is still alive and now running with the equivalent of a doppelganger car heist crew that left a tornado of chaos in their dust in Russia. Hobbes wants Dom to reassemble their team to take them down. Why not bring in the feds one may ask? Because Hobbes wants ‘the best’ to take down this new car gang heist and the feds simply do not stack up to the Dom’s crew! Dom is more than willing to reunite his team in the spirit of FF clichés such as ‘family’ and ‘ride or die.’ A great scene then transpires where the rest of the crew is tracked down and brought back together with Roman (Tyrese), Gisele (Gal Gadot), Han (Sung Kan) and Tej (Ludacris) all more just as eager to suit up again with Dom & Brian.

Oh yeah, since Han is still riding with the crew, that means FF6 is set before the events of 2006’s Tokyo Drift. I will give director Justin Lin credit for doing his best to avoid all shots of smartphones since they were not around in 2006. I cannot vouch for any of the luxurious cars in the film not matching with the timeline since I am not a gearhead by any means. Although the villain car gang does make use of a car hacking device that seems several years ahead of its time and more fitting in a futuristic Watchdogs-esque setting, but who am I to know. Speaking of the villain gang, FF6 does a worthy job of establishing them as formidable foes for Dom’s crew. Other than each of the lesser goons getting a quick standout action scene or two (with an awesome one being Joe Taslim showing off his The Raid chops in a killer fight with Roman & Han), there is not a lot of time devoted to establish the entire antagonist gang. The exception to this is their leader Owen Shaw (Luke Evans) who FF6 clearly gets across is constantly one step ahead of Dom’s gang. One of my favorite scenes is when Dom & Owen have a calm before the storm face-to-face ala Heat before the final act of nonstop action gets underway and after their war of words I could not wait for them to tear each other’s gang apart in a way only this franchise is capable of. As mentioned in the previous entry, by this point in the franchise it is all about a big heist and explosive action and no longer focusing on street races. There is one nice little street race between Dom & Letty that culminates in the two having their own Lethal Weapon 3 moment, but the final hour’s worth of action is what I will mostly remember FF6 for. The final hour has two huge action scenes with a brief breather in-between them. The first scene is Dom’s gang trying their best to prevent Shaw’s crew in heisting a military convoy that leads to YEAH RIGHT RIDICULOUS STUNTS transpiring on a civilian highway with countless cars getting taken out amidst the glorious mayhem the dueling crews unleash on each other. Re-watching them again six years later still lit me up and if you are on board with the craziness of the Fast and Furious brand at this point you will likely have a similar ‘hell yeah, keep it coming’ reaction, or if you are opposed to their over-the-top style brand of stunts you will shake your head in disbelief like some friends of mine at the theater did. I completely understand both sides of the fence on this one, but as you can tell I am in the former camp and absolutely love this. The second half features the infamous ‘infinite airline runway of doom’ where the two camps wage war on a mammoth Russian Fuselage with even more ridiculous stunts and fights. On the fuselage everyone makes their last stand including a surprisingly capable pasty goon and a four person brawl between the four biggest meatheads of the series that culminates in the best headbutt in cinematic history since The Garbage Picking, Field Goal Kicking, Philadelphia Phenomenon!

If you have been keeping up with the rest of my Fast and Furious entries so far, you will know I watched this with the commentary track from the staff of giantbomb.com. Like their previous commentaries, their staff consists of a FF newbie seeing the films for the first time, a diehard fan of the franchise, and an inbetween casual fan. They all combine for memorable reactions to the outrageous stunts, surprise cameos, the aforementioned four person meathead brawl that only enhanced my re-watch of the film. The commentary highlight is one Alex Navarro’s real time mile countdown of how long the runway is in the film. After I finished my Giant Bomb commentary track viewing, I re-watched the second half of FF6 with the BluRay’s commentary from director Justin Lin. Aside from a hair too many noticeable lulls, Lin provides his usual keen insight with some key takeaways for me being Lin addressing his ambitious stunts and fearing how they ‘jumped the shark’ with Dom’s leap stunt but having validation for it in test screenings and Lin breaking down the direction they went with the eye-opening post-credits scene. Aside from the commentary there is additionally an hour and a half of bonus features. Most of them are well done and worth taking the time for. If I had to single out a few of the many features, Take Control is a nice over-arching 20 minute look on the film from most of the primary cast and crew. The Making of FF6 is a little more thorough near half hour take diving into the plot more and how they reunited the cast again. If you are into the stunts I highly recommend checking out the quick six minute Highway Heist feature where they reveal how the crew got exclusive first dibs to a newly finished highway in the Canary Islands before it was open to the public to film the highway action scene. Finally, Hand-to-Hand Fury is an in-depth nine minute take on the excellent fight choreography featured throughout.

I recall in the weeks succeeding the release of Fast and Furious 6 that a fair amount of fans and critics proclaimed the cast and crew somehow achieved the impossible and topped their efforts in the beloved Fast Five. For the longest time I would not hear it, as I still love Fast Five a ton (as you can tell by my entry right here), but upon revisiting Fast & Furious 6 all these years later I think I have to do a 180 and give the ever-so-tiny of a nudge in favor of the sixth film as my favorite in the series. It has more exhilarating stunts and action, the best overall cast, and higher-highs with some exclamation points that feel a smidge more punctuated than the fifth film. It all comes together as a terrific ending for director Justin Lin’s fourth and final film in the series as he ties it all together with a touching callback ending to the original film’s closing. I will close with if you have not seen FF6 yet, make sure to stay past the credits for the tag as it features a bonus scene that finally brings the franchise back to the present timeline with a killer surprise twist. Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed Deck the Halls Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hercules: Reborn Hitman Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Man of Steel Man on the Moon Marine 3-6 Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Apocalypse X-Men: Days of Future Past

#Fast and Furious #fast & furious 6 #random movie #vin diesel #Paul Walker #Justin Lin #michelle rodriguez #tyrese #ludacris #Gal Gadot #Sung Kang #lucas evans #jordana brewster #the rock

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europolarist · 6 years ago

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A Hunsford Tale

Saturday, February 8th, 1812

"Good afternoon, Miss."

Gasping awake, Heidi sat up at the intrusion of a voice in her head.

"I would advise against too much exertion."

A middle-aged man in a high-collared dress shirt and a vest stood in the doorway in the far right corner of the room.

"Where am I?"

Her mind was hazy and Heidi ran her hand over her face knowing something was wrong. The smell of roast beef and a wood fire washed over her. Realizing what she’d just done, Heidi shoved her hands under her thighs, her eyes fluttering against the harsh light that filtered through an open window.

"You are in my surgery."

The room, with its dirty plaster walls and filthy cabinets, was NOT a doctor's office.

"Wha-what do you mean? This isn't a surgery, it’s barely a clinic."

"It is my place of business.” He closed the door behind him.

"I need to go somewhere with a proper doctor."

The man, who’d begun to walk toward the bed, stopped. The light-hearted, teasing tone had changed and a flash of annoyance crossed his features. "I am a proper physician, I assure you. I graduated from Cambridge. Twenty-three years ago."

Heidi looked around the room again, her lip curling.

He was a liar.

"No proper doctor would have patients in a room as dirty as this.” She waved her hand toward the Kommode.

She scoffed at herself, forgetting the word in English.

Dresser.

—with its stone countertop and glass-doored hutch filled with jars and bottles.

“A doctor's office is supposed to be as sterile as possible."

The man took a calming breath. "Miss, you have been through a good deal of trauma. The laudanum is sure to be confusing matters, but I promise you that my surgery is clean."

Heidi’s stomach dropped. "Laudanum?"

The man smiled, wiping his hand on a towel, and walked over to the bed.

"I administered a dosage when Dowding brought you to the door a few hours ago. He witnessed your faint on the Browne’s front step. And with the family away--"

"I'm sorry,” she said, waving her hand to get him to stop talking. She needed to think. “I don't understand. I didn't think anyone still used laudanum anymore."

She tried not to pull away from his dirty hands. If she’d been drugged, there was no telling what this man intended and she had no desire to upset him.

"Your knee was displaced, dislocated. It was necessary to administer laudanum to ensure you remained unconscious while I put the joint back."

She looked down for the first time and saw her leg in a splint, an incredibly crude splint. Her jeans had been cut up to mid-thigh. A thin sheet bunched over her good leg.

"I thought it might be broken." She couldn't forget about the state of the room; but Heidi brushed it aside for now. There were more important things to worry about. "How did it look on the x-ray?"

The doctor frowned. "X-ray?"

"You didn't x-ray it?"

"My apologies, however I have no idea what this ‘x-ray’ is."

Her eyes went wide.

This man was unreal.

"I apologize for cutting open your…” His eyes lingered on her bare knee though his brow was knit in confusion rather than looking at her in a sexual nature. “Breeches."

"Better than taking them off, I suppose," she muttered, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Would you be so kind as to tell me what occurred to put you in such a state? You may have done irreparable damage to the tendons. It is best if I know the truth."

"I was on my way to New Haven, to my parent's cabin on Lake Ontario."

"Ontario?"

Heidi sniffed. She was starting to grow annoyed.

Who hadn't heard of Ontario? It was like five miles down the road.

"You know, between New York and Canada, one of the Great Lakes? Niagara Falls is on one side of it?"

"It is far worse than I feared.” The man shook his head at her, his shoulders slumping. “You appear to have suffered brain damage in addition to the dislocated knee."

"What do you mean?" She tried not to; but there was a snippy tone in her voice that she couldn’t control.

"Miss, you are currently in England."

Her eyes locked with his, voice dead-panned. "That's funny."

Ignoring the old-fashioned bottles on the finely carved dresser, her eyes swept the room.

The pitcher and basin could easily be explained away. Maybe the doctor enjoyed antiques.

But what she couldn’t ignore was the wooden chair sitting on a dais directly across the room from her, near the only window.

Leather straps hung from the armrests, and a set of straps were looped around the front legs in some mockery of an electrocution chair.

Heidi’s throat went dry, wondering what the hell this madman was up to.

She glared him down. Now she was getting downright pissed.

"What is this, one of those prank shows? Or did I stumble into one of those old-timey tourist destinations where they teach kids how to make homemade candles and butter?"

"Miss, I do not jest. You are in England. Perhaps you could tell me what you think today’s date is?"

Heidi rolled her eyes. "If I answer truthfully, you're going to insist it’s 1776 or something, aren't you?"

"Is that what year you believe it to be?"

His genuine concern surprised Heidi enough to silence the four-letter word that was about to come tumbling out. Fully decked out in soft leather pants and one of those folded white neck tie things, he was a spitting image of an actor in one of her mother's movies.

"It's February 8th, 2019. At least it was when I got in my car to come out here. So, it must be the 9th by now, unless I lost more than a day in a drug-induced haze."

The man tilted his head. "Drugs, Miss?"

"Laudanum. It’s poppy based, isn't it? I don't know much about those sorts of things. Mother always preferred the new agey stuff, like Echinacea and goldenseal."

Heidi stopped talking, realizing she was rambling, and looked away.

"What is today's date?" she asked.

"February 8th, 1812."

Heidi almost snorted, but controlled herself. "1812? As in the 'Battle of'?"

The man frowned at her.

"I just watched something about this... What was it?" Heidi tapped her fingers on her chin trying to remember, then realizing she was touching her face again, dropped them to her lap. "Something about the British trying to burn down the White House? Didn't Dolly Madison save the portrait of Washington?"

"I have no knowledge about the war in America."

Heidi's hand balled into a fist at her side. Enough was enough.

"Listen, buddy. I don’t know what your deal is, but can’t you drop this charade and get me to a proper hospital? I'm sure this clinic is great in teaching kiddos what the world was like 200 years ago, but I need to get this knee examined."

He blinked. Heidi threw her hands up.

“Like… by a professional? An orthopedic surgeon or something?” She was speaking to him as if he were an idiot, but she didn’t care.

"I can arrange to have you sent up to London, if you wish; but traveling in the stage or in a coach would do more harm than good, I fear."

Giving up on the man’s sanity, Heidi sneered.

Maybe it was better to play along. It was clear this man was dedicated to his role. And, he had just offered to let her leave. "How far is it to London?"

"Twenty miles."

"That's it?" She raised an incredulous eyebrow, wondering if he meant twenty miles to the metropolis or if they were in a neighborhood within the city and it was twenty miles to the center. Heidi knew that London was a sprawling metropolis, but was not sure how sprawling.

The man nodded.

She shook her head, not even believing what she was about to say. "Good, then get me in a carriage and we'll get there in an hour and I can get that ‘x-ray’ done." She’d even put air-quotes around the word.

The man clasped his hands behind his back – the way people always did when they had bad news. Heidi’s leg throbbed.

"Miss, the ride to London will take a half day, nearly four hours if the weather is fair and holds. And when I was out last, it was sn--."

"Oh Jesus, give me a break, dude. I get that you're enthusiastic. I get assigned a role and I live up to it, too; but I'm in some serious pain here."

"I am the only physician for at least ten miles, Miss.”

It was impossible. This close to London, there’d probably be doctor’s offices on every corner.

“I am the best chance you have at healing that leg."

There was a knock on the door and the doctor called out for the person to enter.

Heidi expected a nurse, or at the least a grown woman dressed in whatever muslin concoction this tourist trap used to pass for Regency England; but she was surprised to see a girl, somewhere between twelve and fifteen, walk into the clinic. Like a thousand other extras in the movies, the girl was dressed in a regency appropriate drab floral pattern.

"Father, I wondered if your patient had yet awoken."

The man smiled and Heidi looked closely at the two people. Though the girl was blonde and the man black-haired with salt and pepper threading through his mutton chops, the family resemblance was uncanny. They had the same brow and nose, and even the same stance.

Maybe this was something they did together to bond, spending their free time showing tourists the harsh reality of the days before electricity. Heidi thought it was heartwarming, despite her anger.

Heidi eyed the stained rag on the table nearby and fought a shudder of revulsion. This room wasn’t up to standards to be used as an actual first aid station; but hopefully some tour group would come through the house wanting to learn more about 19th century healthcare and disease.

Perhaps it would be better to play along. Eventually she’d have to run into someone in modern clothing and try to convince them to get her to the hospital.

"She is, indeed. Please have Mrs. Newtown bring some broth and bread from the kitchen? Miss—" The doctor paused, staring at her as if it hadn’t occurred to him to ask her name.

"Heidi, my name is Heidi."

"And your surname?"

"Favreau."

The girl gasped, taking a step backwards and looking at her father as if Heidi were an abomination. "She is French?"

Panic shone in the girl's eyes. Heidi knew a fair bit about acting scared, but one couldn’t fake going pale so quick.

"Rose, do as I ask."

Rose nodded, staring at Heidi. She bobbed a quick curtsey at her father and left the room without another word. His eyes still bore a kindly look when they settled on her, albeit a slightly more analytical one.

"You must be aware, even if you are from the former colonies, that the British are at war with the French and Bonaparte. You have no French accent. I would advise you not to share your last name with others in the village. Prejudice against the French will not aid in your return home."

Heidi worried her bottom lip, trying to think of what else she knew about 1812. Her mother was obsessed with Jane Austen, but as far as she knew the author never talked about the battles that her soldier characters were fighting in. Heidi was certain no romance novels help her now.

"I suppose you are right, if it really is 1812," Wanting to, but fighting back the desire to air-quote once more.

The doctor nodded, then smiled thoughtfully. "Perhaps for now, you should refer to yourself as Heidi Meldrum."

"Meldrum?"

"A distant branch of my family is named Meldrum. It will do for now."

"And your daughter?” she asked, glancing at the closed door. “Won't she know her own cousins?"

"I will handle that." He stood up, walked over to the dresser, and opened one of the bottles.

"Why are you helping me lie to your daughter?" Heidi shifted as a sharp stab cut down her leg, and she hissed at the pain.

"Do you require more laudanum?" he asked, avoiding her question.

Heidi narrowed her eyes at him. "No more laudanum."

"What do you wish for the pain?"

It was then that Heidi remembered her bags; she had a few codeine pills in her gear. She hadn’t trusted the movers not to steal them, her mother told a horror story about movers stealing her father’s medications, so she’d thrown them in her purse. The only hard-core drugs she had.

"My bags, do you have them?"

"Dowding returned an hour ago with your belongings." The doctor waved his hand toward the bags placed in a wicker chair in the far corner of the room.

"I suppose you have a convenient explanation for them as well?"

"I was hoping to ask you about them, Miss Meldrum." The doctor emphasized the fake last name. "The material is unlike anything I have ever seen. Nor have I come across the material which your overcoat was made of."

"I don't think I can explain them away." She gave him a helpless shrug. Her pink puffy coat the least of her concerns. But she hoped to egg him on. If there was some way she could get him to admit he was from 2019, she’d be golden.

When he didn’t take the bait, Heidi pursed her lips.

"Could you hand me the overnight bag? I have some medicine in them." Heidi pointed to bag with the pink and gray camo pattern on it.

The doctor nodded and brought it over.

It seemed they weren't opposed to preventing ALL modern conveniences from entering the set or they would have repacked her things in an era-appropriate trunk.

And he wouldn’t have commented on her jacket.

Heidi rummaged through the bag, pulling out the long-sleeved t-shirt and jeggings she planned to wear tomorrow. After moving the underwear out of the way, she found her overnight toiletry bag. Unzipping it, she sorted through the contents and cursed.

"Shit, it's in my other bag." The pain killers were probably sitting in the black bag on the floor of her backseat, sitting there for any scavenger to take.

He grimaced as though he’d been punched in the stomach.

"I—I.” He paused, collecting his thoughts. “I cannot imagine where a woman of education learned such a foul word. Granted, there are many French who have not been raised properly…”

Heidi snapped her eyes over to him. "Excuse me?"

"That was rather vulgar for someone in such high quality clothing."

Rage grew in her chest. "Yes, I'm sure it was."

Something akin to disappointment in his eyes tempered Heidi's words. Maybe the laudanum was hitting her harder than she thought.

"Fine, doctor." She took a breath. "I apologize for my language, but you have to understand that where I come from, vocabulary is different. We are allowed to use such language, without repercussions."

He snorted. "No doubt. But if you wish to stay in my house and recover, I ask that you curb your tongue."

Heat suffused her cheeks as Heidi remembered the girl that played his daughter. If this was no joke and she was accused of corrupting her with bad language, there would be worse consequences than not having some pain pills.

"I will do my best."

The doctor nodded.

The more he spoke, the crazier she thought he was.

Better not to anger her host.

Heidi settled back into the pillows, hoping to exude calm and patience. "So what's your name then? If I’m allowed to ask."

"My name is Ernest Carter. Since you were not—" The doctor coughed lightly before continuing on. "Raised in the same manner as my daughter, it is proper to address me as Doctor Carter. My wife, whom I expect will join us shortly, is titled Mrs. Carter, if you care to use such formal appellations, and she too refers to me as Doctor Carter."

"Of course." Heidi glanced down at her hands, feeling chastened. She had a part to play if she wanted to get out of here.

A silence passed between them. With no other noise around to drown out her thoughts, it became deafening.

"Could you pass me the small purse? I have some emergency pain killers in one of the pockets. I can take one of those now to help."

The doctor squinted at her, like she’d made the wrong word choice, but nodded and brought over her purse. Right where it always was, she easily pulled out the small bottle of naproxen. It wasn't codeine but at least it wasn't an opioid.

He asked for the bottle and she handed it over after pouring two pills into her palm. The doctor shook it, the pills rattling inside, and eyed the label. "It is strange, these tablets. I have not heard of this medicine before."

"I suppose not. They're made in America." Rather than going into the whole future/past thing that irritated the doctor, Heidi figured it would be safer to talk about the fact that she was supposed to be in freakin' New York State.

Heidi eyed the doctor, confusion filling her. "Why don't you speak with a British accent? You don’t even sound like you’re from Syracuse , so it's clear your director isn't too concerned with sounding authentic."

He frowned. "This is how I speak, how I have spoken all my life."

Doing her best to play on the British accent, something that despite her years in Community Theater she sucked at, Heidi instructed the doctor.

"You're supposed to sound like you're from Harvard Yard or Cockney, whatever that is. You know 'tally ho' and 'this is insupportable' and 'blimey, that Constable is a good bloke��."

The doctor shook his head, though he sported a good-natured grin. "Your mood has certainly improved. Though I can promise you that I have never heard anyone speak in such a ridiculous manner."

Heidi pursed her lips at his admission.

If he continued to insist that this was 1812, and this wasn’t some dream she’d made up, because surely she wouldn’t be questioning the year if it was, she would need to alter her approach.

Heidi only just kept herself from telling him that at first sight of someone normal, she would be leaving. Because, unfortunately, with her leg in a splint for at least the next few days, she needed more than a stolen set of car keys to escape.

"May I inspect your leg? I did reset the bones, but I must ensure that blood is flowing properly."

Since this wasn’t the first time she dislocated it, Heidi was willing to give the guy a chance. If what he did seemed legit, she wouldn't try to hobble her way out of the house in the middle of the night.

"Go ahead." She gave him a nod.

Doctor Carter returned the nod and inspected her leg, undoing the ties that kept the splint in place. "It was not a bad dislocation, in fact, it fairly moved back on its own despite the inflammation. How long had you been walking on it?"

Heidi hissed as he probed the area.

Just like a doctor to have pokey fingers.

"I crashed around 3 am."

"Dowding brought you to the surgery at 8. You mean to tell me you wandered the forests for five hours?"

Heidi nodded. "I thought I knew where I was going, but clearly I did not."

She gave a shrug, the doctor prodding her knee. Heidi tried not to flinch, it hurt like a bitch. " I found a branch to use as a crutch. In the middle of nowhere I couldn't wait for help, not with as cold as it was last night."

Doctor Carter shook his head. "It is a miracle you made it this far."

Awkward during the examination, Heidi told him more of her story. “I injured it before, ten years ago. I thought I maybe had to walk half a mile to get to the nearest home, but I must have gotten lost."

"I daresay you did, Miss Meldrum." He did not make eye contact but she could hear a lightness in his tone, his fingers massaging her injury. “And you have no knowledge about the Brownes?”

She frowned.

“The family whose home you were attempting to enter?”

Heidi shook her head.

A light knock on the door caused them both to look up and an elderly, overweight woman came in carrying a tray with a soup bowl, a crystal glass with a dark liquid in it, and a roll.

"Your broth, doctor." The woman gave a quick curtsey as she placed the tray on the edge of the dresser by the door.

"Thank you, Mrs. Newton."

The woman smiled, leaving the room without another word, and the doctor returned to his examination, checking the pulse in her foot. He turned her ankle in every possible direction and checked for numbness.

"Your circulation is not currently affected, though the swelling is intense. Best you stay abed for the next twenty-four hours, so we might monitor your progress. How quickly you heal will determine the rest of your treatment."

Heidi nodded. "I would still feel better with an x-ray."

"Is that something they have in the former colonies?"

Heidi nodded, playing along. "They take pictures of the bones through muscle and skin."

He raised an eyebrow, straightening his shoulders as if this were a great surprise.

"It’s advanced." She avoided his gaze, unsure if she could keep the scorn off her features.

"I imagine so. I would dearly love to see this x-ray. It would be helpful in my practice."

"It will revolutionize medicine."

"Do you know much about it?" His eyes alighted with possibility.

Heidi shook her head. "I barely made it through community college. My Associate’s degree is little help when it comes to medical knowledge. It had something to do with radiation, but otherwise…" She trailed off.

"That is a shame.”

Heidi nodded. Her Associate’s didn’t help get her anywhere. It had been a useless degree that had only put her in debt.

“It would be fascinating to learn about such an innovation." The doctor glanced around the room, gathering a few of his tools, and Heidi blinked.

His change of topic had been a misunderstanding on her part.

"I must attend to my other patients, now that you are awake. I will be away for the rest of the day. Though I should be back by morning."

Heidi considered him. "Morning?"

"I attend to the needs of our village as well as a few of the other villages and hamlets in the district. It is part of my contract to keep my surgery so near to the estate."

She smiled, he was probably going on lunch break. Vaguely she remembered stories her mother had told about doctor’s making house calls even in the early ‘50s in her home town. It was something she’d never considered before, but a nice touch to his backstory.

"You have a patron?" she asked.

"I do."

The doctor moved away from the bed, placing a few instruments into his typical, leather doctor's bag. "I ask that you stay in bed as much as possible until I return."

"I don't suppose I have much of a choice."

"Not if you wish to heal your injury properly. You will not be forced to remain after the twenty-four hours; but you are injured and should stay still." The doctor looked over his shoulder and gave her a genuine smile. "Doctor's Orders, Miss Meldrum."

Heidi smiled back, feigning conciliation. "Do you have anything to read or something for me to occupy my time with? If I have to stay on this bed for the next day, I’ll go nuts."

"I will send Rose in with a novel or two. Mrs. Carter enjoys reading on occasion."

"Will I meet this Mrs. Carter?" she asked, doubting the woman’s existence.

"She was called to the farm to aid in Mrs. Cooper's labor."

Heidi sat up a little straighter. "She's a midwife?"

"On days when she is feeling well, yes."

"How reassuring." Heidi gave the doctor a grin.

Doctor Carter’s features lost color, he blubbered before finding his words. "Are you with child, Miss Meldrum?"

Heat roared across Heidi’s cheeks. "Oh no, Lord no.”

Doctor Carter’s shoulders slumped, clearly relieved at her denial.

“But a doctor with a midwife as a partner, that is very… modern of you."

He gave her a half shrug and glanced at his pocket watch. “I should return to my duties.”

He bought the tray of food over to Heidi.

"Eat the broth and bread and we will speak when I return." He was almost through the doorway when he turned around. "For your convenience, the chamber pot is under the cot. Mrs. Newton will clean it out later."

"What?!" Heidi dropped the spoon she’d been in the process of picking up. If crashing her car was horrible, then this was truly hell.

"We have a privy at the back of our property. We are lucky, as my duties require many visitors of differing health; but I would suggest you use the chamber pot. It will not be easy to escort you across the courtyard."

Heidi swallowed, imagining the petri-dish of grossness that likely inhabited the pot beneath the bed. "I can't."

The doctor frowned, putting his bag back down. "Whatever do you mean, ‘you can't’?"

Heidi’s stomach twisted as she stared down at the dark broth in the bowl. "I have this fear—"

Her words trailed off. There was no right way to say it within the context of this place and time.

Screw it.

"I'm a germophobe. I can't use a chamber pot."

"I do not understand."

Frustration mounted as Heidi struggled to keep hold on her temper. She’d lost it before and didn’t want to anger the man if he was delusional; but Heidi was reaching her breaking point.

As simply as she could, Heidi tried to describe her disorder to the doctor, only remembering halfway through that he wouldn't even know what a germ was.

She explained germ theory and bacteria and how they cause disease and that she literally could not use the chamber pot. Using something likely covered in millions of disease-ridden bacteria was unthinkable.

Tears burned her eyes, but she managed to keep them contained.

The doctor was quiet for several moments, as though deep in thought. "How would you suggest the clinic be cleaned then?"

Heidi sighed. "We can talk about that later; but you see that I cannot use the chamber pot now, surly."

"Indeed.” He scratched the back of his neck absently. “I will make Mrs. Newton aware, so that when Mrs. Carter returns, she will know how to tend to your needs.”

Heidi spotted her messenger bag filled with cleaning supplies. Even if they were half empty, they would still be useful for what she needed. She could survive for a few days with the gear she’d carried from her wrecked car.

"I have the means to sanitize your privy and the surgery,” she said, hoping the offer of friendship would ease the tension between them. “If you will permit me, I'll take care of such things while I remain here, if you'll allow me use of the kitchen fires. Boiling instruments will kill germs, and they need a full boil for a couple of minutes for sanitation’s sake." She wasn’t entirely sure about that, but… the longer the better.

The doctor looked skeptical. “This will use a lot of fuel.”

"But if it prevents illness, wouldn't that be helpful?"

"I make my money by healing, you remember?"

Heidi frowned, trying to think of the situation in terms he would understand. "If your patients know you for healing them, and keeping them from secondary infections, your good name will spread, and wouldn't that be a better thing than making money on return visits?"

He considered her. When he laughed, a warm and quick, barking sound, Heidi almost yelped in surprise.

"You are shrewd, Miss Meldrum. Very well, I will leave instructions with Mrs. Newton to follow your advice for the day."

With that, the doctor left the clinic, leaving Heidi to lean over the edge of the cot and find the aforementioned chamber pot.

#Pride and Prejudice #Pride and Prejudice AU #A Hunsford Tale

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thegoddessprose · 7 years ago

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A-Z Survey

A! What is your AGE? 20 Have you ever been to ALASKA? Nope Do you want to go to AFRICA? I don’t know, maybe one day.

What is one of your biggest ACCOMPLISHMENTS? Graduating high school

When if ever was the last time you were on an AIRPLANE? March of last year

Have you ever eaten ARUGULA? No What is your favorite ANIMATED movie? I don’t know... Maybe Big Hero 6? Do you have any famous ANCESTORS? I had some first cousins twice removed inspire hit movie about World War 2.... Does that count?

Have you ever seen an ALLIGATOR? Not in real life. Have you ever sprained your ANKLE? I’ve fractured it. When was the last time you had a doctor APPOINTMENT? August Do you enjoy doing ART? Sure Have you ever gotten a celebrity’s AUTOGRAPH? I have Who is your favorite AUTHOR? John Green Have you ever AUDITIONED for anything? No Are you interested in ASTRONOMY? Sure Do/did you have good ATTENDANCE in school? Yes B! When is your BIRTHDAY? September 1st What color is your BACKPACK? Gray and blue Have you ever done BALLET? Yes Do you know anyone who’s expecting a BABY soon? Yes, my cousin. Do you have BARBECUES in the summer? I don’t have them, but I go to them. Does your house have a BASEMENT? Yes Do you enjoy going to the BEACH? Not really What is your favorite BOOK? The Hunger Games What time do you usually go to BED? Late, maybe 3? What did you eat for BREAKFAST? Today? A mocha frappachino. Do you know anyone who is BLIND? There are some blind kids at my school, but I don’t know any of them personally... Doubt it counts... Are you wearing anything that’s the color BLUE? Yes Do you know what BOOMWHACKERS are? No? Have you ever been BLUEBERRY picking? No Are you wearing a BRACELET? No Do you like the song BRIDGE Over Troubled Water? I’ve never heard that song. Have you ever slept in a BUNK BED? Yes

C! Do you have a CAT? No Do you drink COFFEE? It would depend on what kind How much CASH is in your wallet right now? Not saying Do you like COUSCOUS? It’s okay I guess How about CHEESECAKE? Nope What kind of CAR do you have? A scion, shared with my brother What is your favorite kind of COOKIE? Those christmas cookies with the chocolate frosting on the back Have you ever been in a CHOIR? Yes Do you enjoy riding CAROUSELS? Yes Are you sitting in a CHAIR? I’m in bed right now Do you go to CHURCH? On Christmas and Easter What is/was your favorite CLASS in school? Literary History was the most tolerable Do you like COLORING books? Meh, sure.

Who is your favorite COMPOSER? Tchaikovsky Do you like COWS? They’re okay, I guess. What was your favorite Halloween COSTUME? The 11th Doctor D! Do you like DUCKS? Sure.

What is your favorite breed of DOG? I’m not a fan of dogs. What would you name your DAUGHTER? I don’t plan on having kids, but my favorite names are Veronica, Diana, Vivien, and Charlotte. Those are just the normal names, I’ve got a list for characters. What is today’s DATE? December 9th Are you good at DANCING? Yes Do you have DECORATIONS on your bedroom walls? Yes, wall scrolls When was the last time you saw your DAD? About two weeks ago Have you seen the musical DEAR Evan Hansen? No Have you ever seen a DEER in your yard? Nope Do you own any DIAMOND jewelry? Not real diamonds... Do you like DOCUMENTARY films? Sometimes Does your house have a DECK? Yes What’s your favorite thing to eat for DINNER? Chicken How about for DESSERT? Ice cream

Have you ever lived in a DORM? I live in one now What’s the last DREAM you remember having? Something about aliens... I’m not sure. E! How do you like your EGGS? I don’t. Are your EARS pierced? Yes Have you ever seen an ECLIPSE?

On TV....

What is an activity you ENJOY? Writing Is your favorite animal an ELEPHANT? No When is the last time you rode in an ELEVATOR?: Thursday Do you know anyone named ELIZABETH? Yes Do you believe that everyone should have EQUAL rights? Yes

Have you ever been in an EARTHQUAKE? I have

Are you EXCITED about anything? For the end of finals Do you get a lot of EXERCISE? No F! Have you ever been to FLORIDA? Yes Do you like FISH? No Have you ever been to the FAIR? Yes Who was the last FRIEND you hung out with? Ashley Do you like FIREFLIES? Yes! Have you ever wished you could FLY? Sure, then I wouldn’t have to drive. Do you like FROGS? Ew, no. What FOREIGN countries have you visited? Canada... Can you run FAST? No way Do you have a big FAMILY? Yeah... Do you have any idea how many distant cousins I have???? Do you have A FACEBOOK? Yes Do you like FRENCH toast? It’s okay Have you ever been to FINLAND? No Are you FEMALE? Yes Do you know anyone who lives on a FARM? No G! Do you believe in GHOSTS? Not really Are you good at GEOMETRY? NOPE NOPE NOPE

What is one of your GOALS? Publish my novel Have you ever pet a GOAT? Probably... What year did you/are you going to GRADUATE high school? 2016 Are any of your GRANDPARENTS still living? Yes What GRADE in school was your favorite? 10th or 11th When was the last time you gave someone a GIFT? A few weeks ago Have you ever seen a GRIZZLY bear? No If a GENIE granted you 3 wishes what would you wish for? Unlimited money, the ability to teleport, and world peace Does your house have a GARDEN? Kinda What about a GARAGE? No

Do you like to chew GUM? Sometimes Have you ever done GYMNASTICS? Yes... Wasn’t very good at it. H! What is your HOMETOWN? Annapolis When’s the last time you had a HAIRCUT? I don’t know, Summer? What HAND do you write with? Right Have you ever ridden a HORSE? Yes Do you like HOT chocolate? Yes When’s the last time you ate a HAMBURGER? When I was young Do you have neat HANDWRITING? GOD NO. What is your favorite HOLIDAY? Thanksgiving Do you like the musical HAMILTON? I’ve heard some of the songs, and it seems good, but I’m hesitant to get in too deep because of a past 1776 musical phase... Are you in HIGH school? No Do you enjoy HIKING? No way What is your HEIGHT? 5′3 and a half Who is your HERO? I don’t really have any single hero... Are you HUNGRY? Yes I! Do you like ICE in your water? Not always

Are you INSIDE right now? Yes What’s your favorite INTERNATIONAL food? Chinese food is good, I guess. Have you ever been an INTERN anywhere? No

Do you use the INTERNET a lot? Yes What is your favorite musical INSTRUMENT? Piano? What is something you’re INTERESTED in? Writing When was the last time you used INDEX cards? 9th grade. Do you like the color INDIGO? Yes Have you ever had a job INTERVIEW? No... What’s your favorite ICE cream flavor? Mint oreo J! Are you wearing any JEWELRY? No Do you like JAZZ music? Yes Are you JEALOUS of anyone? No Do you write in a JOURNAL? Not really What is your dream JOB? Novelist Do you know anyone who’s a JUDGE? Not personally Can you JUMP high? No Do you know any funny JOKES? No, I’m more of a deadpan snarker What does your favorite JACKET look like? Fake tweede jacket from eleventh doctor costume Do you know anyone named JOHN? Yes Have you ever played JEOPARDY? Yes Have you ever seen a JELLYFISH? Yes How about a JAGUAR? No K! Do you like KALE? Eww, no way. Do you know anyone in KINDERGARTEN? I don’t think so. Aren’t KITTENS adorable? Sure Do you own a KEY to your house? Yes Do you have any KIDS? Nope

Do you own a tea KETTLE? No Have you ever seen a KOALA? No Do you have a lot of KNOWLEDGE? Yes. Writing is fun like that. Have you ever worn a KIMONO? No, but I’d like to Do you like KEBOBS? Wha? Do you know anyone who’s had a KNEE replacement? No Are you KIND? In general Do you know how to KNIT? No Have you ever sung KARAOKE? Yes Do you always KNOCK before entering a room? Yes L! Do the LEAVES change color where you live? Yes When was the last time you did LAUNDRY? Last week How many LANGUAGES can you speak? Two... kinda When was the last time you went to the LIBRARY? A week ago Do you know anyone who’s LEFT-handed? Yes When was the last time you wrote a LETTER? A few weeks ago, for a story Post some LYRICS from the song you’re listening to: Not currently listening to music Do you have a driver’s LICENSE? No Is there a LIGHT on near you? Yes Have you ever seen a LION? No LOOK out the nearest window. What do you see? A road and streetlight Do you buy LOCAL food? Sometimes Have you ever eaten LOBSTER? No How LONG is the song you’re listening to now? Not listening to music Do you like LEMONS?: Not by themselves M! Are you good at MATH? Nope! What is your favorite genre of MUSIC? Alternative, folk, indie pop, classical, show tunes Have you received any MAIL recently? Yes What is your MOM’S name? Not telling Do you believe in MAGIC? Not really Do you wear MAKEUP? Only for cosplays Have you ever been in a MADRIGALS group? No Do you put MAPLE syrup on your pancakes? Yes What is one of your favorite MEMORIES? Disney World!

What would you do with a MILLION dollars? Pay off my tuition, then... I’m not sure, maybe a trip abroad? Are there any words you often MISPRONOUNCE? Maybe Can you see the MOON right now? No Do you enjoy going to MUSEUMS? Yeah, I very much enjoy museums When did you last use a MICROWAVE? Yesterday

Do you drink MILK? Anything but skim What were you doing at MIDNIGHT last night? Writing an essay Do you MISS anyone? Yes N! Do you like your NEIGHBORS? The people next door can be kind of obnoxious... Have you ever been in the NEWSPAPER? Yes Do you have a NICKEL in your wallet? I think Is it NIGHTTIME? Yes Do you have any NIECES? No How about NEPHEWS? No

When is the last time you wrote in a NOTEBOOK? A few weeks ago Have you ever been to NEW York City? Yes

What is your favorite/lucky NUMBER? 9 What makes you NOSTALGIC? Playing old games, listening to old music Do you have any NICKNAMES? Not really Do you ever take NAPS? Only if I’m super tired Do you enjoy spending time in NATURE? Not really Do you know anyone who has a NEWFOUNDLAND (the dog)? I don’t think so

Were you born in the NINETEEN NINETIES? Yes When was the last time you read a NOVEL? Three weeks ago O! Do you like to eat OATMEAL? No way Have you ever been to the OCEAN? Yes

Do you work in an OFFICE? No

Are there any OAK trees in your yard?

No Do you like OLIVES? Black olives only. And not the calamata kind. Have you ever seen a live ORCHESTRA? Yes Have you ever been to the ORTHODONTIST? No Are you ORGANIZED? Haha nope Do you like OTTERS? Sure, I don’t have anything against otters

What is your favorite OUTFIT? Something comfortable. And with pockets When is the last time you were OUTSIDE? A few hours ago Have you ever been to The OUTBACK Steakhouse? Yes What is something you’re OBSESSED with? The Hunger Games Is there a door OPEN nearby? No

Are you part of any ORGANIZATIONS? Yes P! Do you have a PUPPY? I don’t like dogs, so no. Do you like PAINTING? Sure, but I’m not very good at it. Have you ever had a PEN PAL? Um... Does an internet friend count if it’s not snail mail? Do you own any PALAZZO pants? No What’s your favorite kind of PIZZA? Cheese What are you PASSIONATE about? Writing

What’s the best PERFORMANCE you’ve ever been to? My school’s production of “She Kills Monsters” Do you get along with your PARENTS? Yes What’s the last thing you PAID for? Hmm... Probably a book? What kind of PHONE do you have? Google Pixel

Can you play the PIANO? I can’t even read music What is your favorite kind of PIE? Ice cream (Yes, it’s a thing.) Is PURPLE your favorite color? No, but I’ve been told I look good in it. Have you ever been to a PLANETARIUM? Yes Do you like POETRY? Reading it, not writing it. Do you carry a PURSE? Yes Q! Do you like answering QUESTIONS? Sure Is it QUIET in the room right now? No

Have you ever made a QUILT? No

Have you ever been in a QUARTET? No Did you ever collect state QUARTERS? Yes

When did you last have a QUIZ in school? Three days ago What is your favorite QUOTE? "Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein Do you ever QUACK like a duck? No R! How often do you listen to the RADIO? I don’t usually Do you like to READ? Yes Is it RAINING? Not right now

Have you ever been to a RALLY? Yes Name 3 things in your REFRIGERATOR: 3 coffee cups full of milk? Have you ever had a REHEARSAL for something? Yes Have you ever been to a RENAISSANCE festival? Yes What makes you feel RELAXED? ASMR, sleeping in

Does your family have REUNIONS? Not really What is your favorite RESTAURANT? Nando’s, Cracker Barrel, or any kind of diner. Have you ever sat on your ROOF? No Do you have a ROOMMATE? No Do you have a Labrador or Golden RETRIEVER? Don’t like dogs.... again Do you know anyone who is RETIRED? Yes Do you like RASPBERRIES? No When you go to an event do you buy REFRESHMENTS? Sometimes S! Have you ever been SAILING? No Do you ever shop at a SALVATION Army? No Do you like to eat free SAMPLES in the grocery store? Sometimes Do you have a SISTER? No Can you speak SPANISH? No What SCHOOL do you go to? Not saying Do you like the game SCRABBLE? No Have you ever been to SPAIN? No Have you ever been in a SPELLING bee? No Name someone you know who is an amazing SINGER: Lana Del Rey When was the last time you saw a SQUIRREL? Today? Does it SNOW a lot where you live? No Are you wearing SOCKS? No Do you own a SKETCHBOOK? No

When was the last time you took a SHOWER? A few hours ago. Do you know the song from West Side Story called SOMEWHERE? No T! Who was the last person you TEXTED? Mom Do you like to drink TEA? I don’t drink tea Have you ever played a TAMBOURINE? Yes Who is/was your favorite TEACHER? I don’t really have favorites

Do you like to shop at TARGET? No Do you have a TAPESTRY in your room? Apparently wall scrolls don’t count... What’s the TEMPERATURE outside? 34 F What is your favorite T-SHIRT? My blue one with Phoenix Do you own a TEDDY bear? No

Are you a TEENAGER? No Are you interested in THEATER? Yes What TIME is it? 1:51 AM Do you have a TRAMPOLINE? No Can you read music in TREBLE clef? No Have you ever had a pet TURTLE? No Have you ever TUTORED anyone? No U! What is UNDER your bed? A bunch of odds and ends Have you ever had to wear a UNIFORM for anything? No When was the last time you saw your UNCLE? Thanksgiving

Do you go to a UNIVERSITY? Yes Do you live in an URBAN area? No When was the last time you used an UMBRELLA? I don’t know Do you know anyone who is a UNITARIAN? No Have you ever been an USHER? Yes Can you UNDERSTAND other languages? Kinda French What makes you UNIQUE? My existance When was the last time you went UPSTAIRS? I am upstairs... How many months are there UNTIL your birthday? Nine V! Do you know anyone who is a VEGETARIAN? Yes When did you last use a VACUUM cleaner? Summer Where is the last place you went on VACATION? Buffalo Do you know anyone who plays the VIOLIN? No Have you ever wanted to be a VETERINARIAN? No What countries would you like to VISIT? England, Ireland, France, Japan Have you ever taken VOICE lessons? No What was the last thing you bought from a VENDING machine? Chips

Have you ever been to Martha’s VINEYARD? No

How about VERMONT? No Do you like VANILLA ice cream? It’s okay

Have you ever VOLUNTEERED anywhere? Yes

Are you registered to VOTE? Yes Do you have perfect VISION? Nope W! Do you drink a lot of WATER? No... I should What’s in your WALLET? Learner’s permit, student ID, debit card, membership cards, and cash. Do you wear a WATCH? no What is the WALLPAPER on your computer? Phoenix Wright, Athena Cykes, and Apollo Justice Have you ever read the WARRIORS books? No

Can you WHISTLE? No Do you like WOLVES? No What is your favorite WORD? Sonder Is it WINDY outside? No

Have you ever painted with WATERCOLORS? Yes What time did you WAKE up today? 9 AM Are there any WATERFALLS near where you live? No Have you ever seen a WHALE? No If you have a dog does it WAG its tail a lot? Don’t have a dog Have you ever been to WASHINGTON, DC? Yes Have you ever been to a WEDDING? Yes X! Have you ever had an X-RAY? Yes Can you play the XYLOPHONE? Not really Can you speak or understand XHOSA? Wha? Y! Does your house have a big YARD? No Have you ever done YOGA? Yes Do you like YOGURT? It depends on what kind Do you have a YEARBOOK from high school? Yes

Are you wearing anything that is the color YELLOW? No

Have you ever had a YARD sale? No

What YEAR were you born? 1997 Have you ever heard the song YOU Will Be Found? Yes Have you ever been part of a YOUTH group? Yes What did you do YESTERDAY? Went to class, had bagels with friends, wrote an essay What’s something YUMMY you ate recently? A waffle What’s the last YOUTUBE video you watched? A song... Forget which one. Z! Have you ever seen a ZEBRA? No What is your ZODIAC sign? Virgo Are you wearing anything with a ZIPPER? No Have you ever seen the movie ZOOTOPIA? Yes Do you use ZIPLOCK bags? Yes Do you know anyone named ZOE? No Have you ever been to ZIMBABWE? No

#surveys

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asp1990 · 7 years ago

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China Day 9: Sunday October 15th, 2017

Breakfast: Cinnamon twist donut & a latte Lunch: Fried “baozi” soup dumplings and wonton soup Dinner: Beef & egg congee with BBQ pork buns & marinated bamboo shoots

Steps: 15, 355

We had tiny bit of a sleep in this morning and Clemence and I started the day by walking to a bakery for breakfast. I had a coffee & a cinnamon twist donut. We met George at 9am in his office to do some more online shopping and then headed to the front gate to catch a cab.

We took a cab to a shopping centre (didn’t learn the name) that looked like the National History Museum in the states, but was full of upmarket department stores. George said we were here to have breakfast and we realised we had forgotten to tell him that we’d already eaten – whoops! I had been saying how I had not packed for rainy/cold weather, so George said we could use the time to buy a raincoat instead. I looked in Adidas, Nike, New Balance and a few other sport stores to try and find a spray jacket, but they were all 500 Yuan +, which was too much like Melbourne prices (plus, I only had 500 in my wallet), so I started to get frustrated. I contemplated paying with my bankcard, but realised that I had left it in my passport, because I didn’t need it. We then caught a train to Cloud Nine shopping centre where George took us to the discount markets on the 9th floor. Here, I found a suitable jacket for 200 Yuan ($38 AUD) and settled for that. I did not want to waste our day off (or G’s time) looking for jackets.

We then caught the train to the Shanghai Art Museum, which was a massive building built during the 2010 World Fair. Inside was very modern, but the exhibits had a lot of blank space between them. What was displayed on six floors could have easily been condensed in to two, but I think size is a symbol of wealth and prosperity in China. The top floor had an amazing visual art room where there was a kilometre digital animation projected on the wall about early settlement in China. It looked like Ancient Sims and was excellent. They also had a projected river on the floor, which was super trippy. We rushed through the rest of the museum for some reason and looked at all the historical paintings on the first floor. They were all done in a very impressionist style that looked slightly blurred. George had excellent knowledge of what the paintings were and I had to keep reminding myself that he had probably been here quite a few times.

We took the train to People’s Square, but did not explore outside because it was raining. We had “world’s best boazi” for lunch, which were shallow fried soup dumplings and had them with wonton soup. George just ordered for us. We caught another train to the Pearl Tower, which both Clemence and I had been very eager to visit. We had to line up for half an hour to get into the building and then another 20 minutes to get the elevator to the top floor. George kept giggling about how perfectly timed the hostesses were in the lift about saying their spiel before the doors opened. They nailed it every time. We went to the viewing deck first, which was very impressive. The rain and low cloud made it a bit difficult to see the tops of the tall buildings, but the birds eye view of the city was amazing. We then walked down the transparent deck, where you could sit on glass and have your photo taken. I am not very good with heights, but after seeing how awesome Clem’s photo looked, I decided to give it a go. As I was standing up, a middle-aged Chinese man asked if he could take a photo with me, so I had to go back out with him. When I walked back, an Asian lady grabbed me and said “me too! Me too!” so I had to go out a third time. George then pulled me away, thank goodness. #blondelife

We caught the lift back down to the ground floor and went through the Shanghai History museum. It started with an exhibition of transport through the ages and then went back to initial settlement. Every piece had wax figures in it, which looked too realistic. I felt that if I looked at them for too long, they would turn and look back at me haha. It then became more modern and looked at how the city has changed and grown and we watched an awesome light projection about how they celebrate December 31st with a light show on the buildings near the Bund. Very cool.

When we left at 4.15pm, George had planned to take us to the regular museum, but it closed at 4pm. He asked if we wanted to see a movie, but we weren’t really keen. Clem had spotted a Disney store over the road, so we went there instead. Clem loves all things Disney, but I have to admit, it was a pretty awesome shop! They had a great mix of old school and Marvel/Star Wars Disney, so I bought a Toy Story plush and a Baby Groot figurine from Guardians of the Galaxy II.

We walked back to the station and returned to Cloud Nine Shopping Mall for dinner. We went to He Fun Gee on the 7th floor and had Congee and steamed buns. It was delicious, but very filling, so I did not finish my meal. It took us quite some time to hail a cab in the rain and then took 30 minutes to get back to school because of traffic, so I was glad to fall in to bed and watch TV after a huge and very entertaining day.

Back to teaching tomorrow! We have two Year 10 classes and are presenting a PL about Extra Curricular activities at our school to the English staff.

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caveartfair · 7 years ago

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With Costumes and Camp, Genevieve Gaignard Is Telling New Stories about Race and Beauty

Genevieve Gaignard, Globetrotter, 2017. Copyright Genevieve Gaignard and courtesy of Shulamit Nazarian, Los Angeles.

Genevieve Gaignard turns our expectations about race and beauty upside down. She’s known for campy, costumed self-portraits in which she masquerades as a shape-shifting cast of characters: a leopard-print clad babe with a hairspray-stiff bouffant; a young woman decked with long braids, gold hoops, and a shirt emblazoned with the words “Hoodrat Thangs.” These personas are a way for Gaignard to explore her own identity as a mixed race woman (her mother is white and her father is black)—and her struggle to come to terms with “not fitting into just one category,” she says.

Since earning her MFA at Yale in 2014, Gaignard’s work has popped up in buzzy solo exhibitions at Shulamit Nazarian Gallery and the California African American Museum (CAAM), both in Los Angeles, where she lives and works. This fall, you can see her work at the Studio Museum in Harlem, the Houston Center for Photography, and the Prospect New Orleans triennial, where she’ll debut a new, site-specific installation.

All three venues showcase how Gaignard, in recent years, has expanded her photographic vision into immersive environments that further chip away at close-minded stereotypes and cultural norms. From afar, her domestic-style installations look cozy, like a grandmother’s overly decorated living room. But get closer, and unexpected, unnerving details emerge.

Genevieve Gaignard, Colorblinds, 2017. Copyright Genevieve Gaignard and courtesy of Shulamit Nazarian, Los Angeles.

“The environments might feel inviting,” Gaignard tells me, as we walk through her latest installation, part of The Studio Museum in Harlem’s “Fictions” show. “They lure you in, but you learn something you weren’t anticipating—the heavier issues come through.”

For this piece, Gaignard has built a self-contained room, its two walls covered in busy floral wallpaper, outfitted with a baby-pink lounge chair, a skinny side table, a gold birdcage, and a sea-green grandfather clock. The pastiche resembles a timeworn parlor in the home of a pastel-obsessed trinket hoarder. But the room’s finer points tell a different—and decidedly more provocative—story.

Consider three figurines placed on the table and inside the birdcage and clock. They look like “the kind of tchotchkes grandma might have on a shelf,” Gaignard explains, with a mischievous smile. Except instead of statuettes depicting white southern debutantes or Disney princesses, the artist’s figurines are all black women, frozen in moments of escape, activism, and even revenge.

“I thought it was sad, that there’s no relatable figurine for a black woman. She’s always in the position of server or entertainer—not the belle of the ball,” Gaignard tells me, as we study one of the little sculptures. “I decided to change that.”

Genevieve Gaignard, Get Out, 2017. Copyright Genevieve Gaignard and courtesy of Shulamit Nazarian, Los Angeles.

She did so by creating a new sculpture from two found figurines: one, a white woman in a poofy dress; the other, a black “mammy” character, a commercial testament to racism’s long legacy in the United States. Gaignard affixed the black figure’s head atop the white character’s elegantly attired body. Now, the statuette “has a moment to tell a different story,” the artist says.

Gaignard’s entire practice could be seen as her own quest to tell a different story—one that challenges the stereotypes that bolster prejudice of all stripes. She was raised in a small, primarily white town in Massachusetts with her mother, who filled their home with the trappings of black Americana and black history books, like biographies of Harriet Tubman. Growing up, her feelings about race, and her relationship with her identity, were complicated. “My work channels how I felt when I was younger,” she recalls, “those feelings I couldn’t quite verbalize, because I lived in a predominantly white neighborhood, without much diversity.”

Midway through a course at pastry school, Gaignard found a mentor who had studied at Rhode Island School of Design. He convinced her to leave the kitchen behind and pursue an art career.

She took an interest in photography and began capturing her family, the characters in her hometown, and eventually herself. This growing body of work would bring her to MassArt, then Yale. Gaignard also began making sculptures. In one, she covered a pair of cowboy boots with yellow air fresheners, titling the piece High Yellow Forest, an allusion to a derogatory term used to described the skin tone of mixed race women. In another, she topped a beauty pageant trophy with a tiny, 3-D printed sculpture of her own curvaceous body, ousting the slender, fashion-mag-approved figurine that was formerly there.

Selfie, 2016. Genevieve Gaignard Shulamit Nazarian

Eventually, Gaignard herself—or, perhaps more accurately, different versions of the artist—became her most frequent subject. This array of photographic personas eventually led to entire environments; often, she’ll hang the self-portraits within the space, so that the viewer gets a partial glimpse into the life of whomever occupies it.

In “Fictions,” her domestic installation is hung with two new self-portraits. One shows Gaignard in Adidas sandals and a sweatshirt printed with an illustration of two figures who remind her of Salt-n-Pepa, under the all-caps word “QUEENS.” She stands in front of a massive wall covered haphazardly with half-finished paintings of powerful black men: Martin Luther King, King Tut, Malcolm X.

The second photograph shows Gaignard with straight blond hair and a ruffled yellow dress. Behind her, we can see a vintage poster for a 1960 film called I Passed for White. (“Yes,” she emphasizes, “that movie was really made.”)

Gaignard took the latter self-portrait in a house in the 9th Ward in New Orleans, where her father and much of his side of the family is from. Over the past year, as she prepares for her installation at Prospect New Orleans, she’s spent more and more time in the city, getting to know her extended family and hearing its lore. These stories will inform a new environment, with a number of mirrored elements for effect. And for the first time since she left art school, the images that decorate it will incorporate subjects other than herself.

Genevieve Gaignard, Kings and Queens, 2017. Copyright Genevieve Gaignard and courtesy of Shulamit Nazarian, Los Angeles.

“There’s a tie-in to thinking about my grandparents and how they navigated through the world,” Gaignard says, explaining the project. “My grandmother was very fair-skinned, and although she’s African American, she could pass [as white]. So walking down the street, my grandfather might be asked: ‘Why are you walking with that woman?’”

The process of delving deeper into her family history has coincided with what Gaignard describes as a greater sense of clarity and confidence in “talking specifically about blackness and whiteness being in one body,” she explains. “Being in a white body and talking about blackness is something I’ve been hesitant to do, or a little shy about doing.”

She’s certainly gotten more comfortable tackling these issues as of late: Gaignard’s installation for “Fictions”—and what she hints at cooking up for Prospect—is anything but shy. With subtle but subversive details, the artist builds a fluid portrait of race, identity, and beauty that boldly resists categorization.

—Alexxa Gotthardt

from Artsy News

#Artsy News

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