#99% of my issues are from having trouble separating masculinity from toughness!!!

[torahtot]

just ignore them all be yourself, all your life you will be judged well not literally but the majority of it. so is best to just shake off the idea of pleasing others now than later. no matter what you do later or now people will still say things or do or give you looks if you dont look cis. so make yourself comfortable by making them confused. dont look for excuses either. just make yourself happy. just one last thing if you think youre not sure if you can be feminine some times, means youll need to drop butch out of it if you do plan to some times switch between fem or masc. because butch is a masculine presenting person only, that should always be protected, not altered. so if youre nonbinary whos emotions on style or look fluctuate thats normal, valid. But butch is not a style or a look, aesthetic, is a deep emotional strong personal growing passion of being masculine, an identity. If you some times feel masculine that is perfectly fine, but not if you choose butch to connect it to femininity too. in other words masc is not the same thing as butch. masculine can be used for any person a amab or afab, but butch cannot be used by a amab. another way to clear that up is what you may be looking to use to describe yourself is masculine not butch. butch is a different side of movement fighting for their own rights. masc is a widely acceptable term for every one and any one who needs to use it. hope that helped

ahh thank you so much this is so sweet 🥺😭

abt ignoring them all: my problem isn't being judged, i really don't care what cishets think of my appearance, i just can't look the way i want because of school rules and my parents' rules :/ so as a result of that i haven't really been able to try presenting different ways, and i just really don't know how i wanna present- i just know it has to not be feminine.

and abt your last point: i am a wlw girl, and i do not feel feminine ever i think, so i could potentially use butch if i decide that's right for me. ive been reading a bit about butch identity and i wouldn't keep it as an option if i was just in it for the aesthetic or if i felt at all connected to femininity.

the aesthetic actually is what i have trouble with because i know there are lots of different masculine aesthetics and different ways to look butch, what's important is to have that connection to masculinity. but i keep thinking that if i don't look and act tough im not a real butch or whatever. since im so.. not tough, idk if im considered masc enough to be butch even though i like to look and feel masc.

i think i just need to wait until i finish high school and wear what i want, then ill know if im butch or just masculine. but until then i can only figure out the internal identity stuff which is hard when u can't present right :/

sorry this answer got so long 0.0 thank you so much for the ask tho that's really kind jdjfjf