#7000 words of imagination vomit | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sassyshoulderangel319 · 6 years ago

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Imprint

“Faren. I need your help,” Onwee said.

Faren glanced up from the motorcycle she was fixing. “With what?”

“I can’t... I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Who?” Faren asked.

“The, uh, the girl from the... beach...”

Faren dropped her wrench and stood up. “Did you kiss her?!” she demanded.

“Uh...”

“Onwee, answer me!”

“Maybe?”

“Sgant above, Onwee!” She threw her hands in the air. “There’s a reason kissing is saved for marriage on Noq!”

“I don’t remember Noq, Faren! I was too young to remember it when we left! Maybe if you told me more about it this wouldn’t have happened!” He paused. “Why is kissing saved for marriage?”

“Noqians imprint, Onwee.”

“Meaning what?”

“Once you kiss her, you’re tied to her for life. You’ll never fall for another person---human, Noqian, otherwise. And humans are fragile!”

“Not her,” Onwee said, shaking his head. “She’s... she’s different.”

Faren scoffed. “She’s not. I assure you. All humans are the same.”

“Listen to me, Faren. She’s not like normal humans. She’s... she’s got powers. Kinda like us.”

“Sgant,” Faren muttered. “Like what?”

“Pyrokinesis, she called it? She can control fire.”

“Great. So you’ve imprinted on a human who’s been exposed to the radiation of a Noqian ship. Sometimes, certain humans gain strange powers when they get too close to our technology. Great. Just great, Onwee.” Faren clenched her jaw and closed her eyes. “It could be worse. Noqian-exposed humans are tougher than normal ones. But... we don’t stick around, remember? Imprinting means you’re tied to her till you die. You’ll be hung up on her forever. So you either have to leave her behind and miss her for the rest of your life, or tell her the truth and bring her with us.”

“No way in Taw she’d believe me!”

“She trusted you with her powers. She’ll trust you with this. Give her two touches of proof and she’ll have to.”

Onwee sighed. “Fine. I’ll try telling her the truth.”

“Hey, Blaze!” a familiar voice called. I grinned and turned slowly.

“Hi Liam. What’s up?” I asked as he jogged up to me. He stared at me for several seconds, making me a little concerned. Did I have something on my face? What was he staring at?

He slowed to a stop and smiled. It was a lazy, sweet smile. “Do you have a minute? There’s something I want to talk to you about.” Apparently he saw the anxiety cross my face because he amended, “There’s nothing wrong. It’s just private.”

I glanced around and rubbed my nose. “Sure,” I said. “I’ve got time.”

Gently he cupped my elbow and led me around a corner to an alley where no one was.

“So what’s this about?” I asked curiously, tugging my jacket tighter around me as a chilly breeze blew down the alley.

“Me,” Liam said. “It’s about me. But it’s also about you. And... well... us. The other night on the beach... I really liked, uh... I really liked kissing you.” He blushed a little and looked down. His hand slid down from my elbow to my hand, taking it.

I giggled. “I liked it too,” I said.

He gave me a small melancholy grin. “I’m, uh... I’m glad. But this is the part where I come clean.”

“You’re not married are you?”

“Sgant! No,” he replied. He’d said that before, Sgant, and I’d never known what it meant.

“Girlfriend?” I pressed. “Boyfriend? Datemate?”

“No. No, no, no, no, no,” he said, brushing his messy black bangs out of his eyes. Again I was as struck by their amber color---so unusual. “No. It’s got nothing to do with that.” The insistence in his voice was so genuine that I believed him.

“Okay,” I said. “So what’s up?”

He huffed a sigh. “Okay. You’re not going to believe this, but you need to. I need you to trust me, okay?”

“Okaaay...” I bit my lip for a second. “Liam what’s going on?”

“Well, first off, my name’s not Liam...”

“You’re an alien?!” I hissed. “Geez. My mother always said I had strange taste in men.”

Liam---Onwee---actually chuckled. “Yeah.”

“And you did what to me?”

“I imprinted on you. According to an older... companion of mine, we can fall in love multiple times, but if we kiss someone... we imprint on them. We’re theirs forever.”

“So... with what happened at the beach...”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Whether you like it or not... I’m yours forever. And... we move around a lot. So I either move around without you and miss you like mad the entire time or... you come with me.” He reached out and took both of my hands in his. “And I know you probably don’t feel as deeply as I do because to you it was probably just for fun and... noncommittal, but I’ve spent every day since the beach with you in my head and I can’t get you out. It doesn’t work like that with my species. I’ll understand if you don’t want... to ever see me again. Or come with me. But...”

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“Everywhere. We tend to stick to the States for now, but we’re going to branch out when we have nowhere else in the States to go.”

This is it, Blaze, I thought. The opportunity to go and keep going. To keep mobile so no one finds out about your powers. To get out of this small town and have new experiences. Who knows? Maybe you’ll really fall for him.

I cleared my throat. “Liam---Onwee, whatever---I, uh... I’d like to go with you,” I said.

He was so startled he dropped my hands. “Really?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I want to go. I want to get out of this town and see the country and maybe even the world. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I stay much longer and I won’t be able to keep my powers a secret.” I couldn’t help but laugh. “Dating an alien sounds exactly like something I’d do,” I muttered in amusement.

Oh heck. If Amy was still in town she’d roll on the floor with laughter at how “me” that was.

But Amy had skipped town with her boyfriend when we graduated high school. I hadn’t seen her in years.

I reached out and took Liam’s hands. “Let’s go. Next time you move, I’m coming with you.”

“What about your friends? Family? Your life?”

“My parents will understand. They’ve been wary around me because of my powers since I got them. My real friends have all left by now. It’s about time I got out too.”

Liam smiled. “Okay,” he said. “When Faren and I get ready to leave, you’re coming with us.”

I smiled too. “Thank you.”

“No. Thank you,” he said. “This will make it a lot easier on me, having you with me. But... I apologize in advance if I get overprotective. I don’t know how imprinting works. I can already feel the urge to keep you safe and it’s only been a couple of days.”

I couldn’t help but snicker. “About time someone did,” I joked.

Someone appeared at the alley opening. “Either-a you folks gotta lighter?” a familiar voice asked. Every voice in town was familiar.

“Smokin’ is bad for you, Alex,” I said, letting go of Liam’s hands to shove my own in the pockets of my shorts to keep my hands from glowing noticeably. It happened sometimes.

“Aw c’mon, Heather Be Tethered,” he complained. “I know you got a lighter on you.”

“Is that so?” I retorted, clenching my jaw.

��Heather?” Liam asked. “I thought your name was Blaze.”

“It is,” I ground out. “My middle name is Heather. But when I was in middle school my records got screwed up so my name said Heather B. Tether instead of Blaze H. Tether. That nickname still hasn’t gone away. Ten years later.”

Alex laughed. “‘Ey, new guy, first thing you need to know about Heather Be Tethered here, is that she’s tethered to this town. She ain’t goin’ anywhere. Now c’mon, hand your lighter over.” He held his out for my nonexistent lighter, palm up.

“What makes you assume I have a lighter?” I asked.

Alex scoffed. “You have everything on you, all the time. Pen, mirror, laser pointer. You have to have a lighter.”

“I don’t. But I should tell your mother that you’re smoking.”

Alex’s expression dropped. “You wouldn’t,” he said.

I cocked an eyebrow. “Wanna try me?” I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

Alex scrambled backward and rushed out of the alley. I put my phone back in my pocket.

“I hate the smell of cigarettes,” I muttered, a bit grumpy. I should have called Alex’s mom anyway. Liam watched me for a moment, a grin tilting up the corner of his lips.

I turned my attention back to Liam. “What were we talking about?”

“I’m an alien who’s imprinted on you,” he said.

“Right, right,” I said.

“And you’re going to come with me when we leave.”

“Right. That’s it.”

“Are you busy for the rest of the night? I could take you back to my place and introduce you to Faren.”

“I was heading back to the beach for the bonfire, but afterward maybe? Wanna join me on the beach?”

“Uh... sure.”

“And if anyone asks, just say we’re dating now,” I said.

“Right,” Liam agreed.

“Blaze! There you are! I was beginning to think you were ditching!”

I laughed. “Nah. Just got a little side-tracked, promise! I wasn’t going to miss the last party of the summer!”

“Ooh! You two dating now?” Rachel pointed at where Liam was holding my hand.

“Yeah.”

“About time! You two have been making goo-goo eyes at each other since he and his sister showed up here!”

I snorted and rolled my eyes. “C’mon Rae. I don’t make goo-goo eyes.”

“Not for guys we grew up with, no,” she teased. “But new, handsome, hunks? Mmm... I pretty well think you do!”

“Rae. Stop,” I said.

She shrugged. “Suit yourself.” But there was a smile on her face like she had no intention of stopping at any point in the foreseeable future. A headache started to form under my temples at the very thought of it. But she got distracted. “Hey Joey! You bring the sound system?” she shouted, rushing away from where Quinten and George were trying to get the bonfire lit.

I let go of Liam’s hand and went over to them. “Problem, boys?” I joked.

“Stupid wind keeps blowing the matches out.”

I scoffed and elbowed them out of the way. “Watch and learn, boys.” I struck a match on a rock, using my powers to sustain it in a way they wouldn’t notice, and caught the tinder. I used my powers more than anything to encourage the fire to keep going. Quinten and George didn’t notice.

No one would notice except Liam.

Once the bonfire was burning, I got up. “Take it from the master, boys, fire’s got a mind of its own.” I bowed and ducked back over to Liam. Joey started blasting music from the speakers he’d brought. I took Liam’s hand. “So, do aliens dance on your planet?” I called over the noise.

“I wouldn’t know,” he replied. “I can’t remember it. I left when I was too young.”

“Sorry,” I said.

He shrugged. “Earth is home,” he said.

“Okay. Well, Earthling, dance with me!”

He smiled, rolled his eyes in amusement, and began to dance with me. We laughed and definitely had a hard time dancing in sand, but we enjoyed ourselves. Everyone stared at us---the new guy and the nice nerd, having a blast---but we didn’t care.

We left when the alcohol was brought out. I’d decided a long time ago to never drink and I was sticking to that.

“C’mon,” Liam said. “Let me introduce you to Faren.”

“I’m Faren. For lack of a better word, I’m Onwee’s sister. But we’re not actually related,” the woman said. Her eyes were blue, like a human’s, but her hair was a metallic pale green. She was tall and elegant. “And you’re Blaze, right?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Blaze Tether.”

“Pleasure,” she said, sticking her hand out to shake. I shook it. She blinked, glanced at our hands, and let me go. She turned to Liam---Onwee. “Still can’t believe you imprinted on a human. Even a Noqian-hybridized one.”

“I’m not a hybrid,” I said. “I’m one-hundred-percent human.”

“Not anymore you’re not,” Faren said. “The moment you got your powers your DNA was transformed enough to become a partial hybrid Noqian. Speaking of, when and how did you get your powers?”

“I was twelve,” I said. “We went on a trip to Louisiana. New Orleans for a couple of days and then Dad wanted to see the bayou. We were on one of those fan boats at dusk when the sky lit up blue---like a lightning strike that didn’t go away. This meteor streaked overhead and crashed nearby. I’m guessing it wasn’t a meteor now.”

“No. It was a Noqian ship. And your exposure to its radiation and power source are what gave you your powers. Some humans transform a little when exposed to it. Most don’t.”

“Does that mean I’m special?” I joked sarcastically.

“It means you’re genetically lucky,” Faren corrected. “Adaptable.”

“Oh,” I said.

“Faren, she’s coming with us,” Liam said.

“Good. Because Sgant knows I don’t need you pining after her for the rest of your life,” Faren said.

“Is Sgant, like, the deity of your home-world?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Liam said. I nodded in understanding. That much I could get my head around.

“We’re here for another few weeks but once we get ready to leave, we’ll let you know. A fair note of warning: you might never come back,” Faren said. I glanced at Liam and then back at Faren.

“I can live with that,” I said. “It’s easier to keep my powers a secret if I’m moving around all the time. And my parents and I... we have a rather strained relationship.” Mostly since I got my powers but I didn’t say that out loud. The aliens would find that out eventually.

“Heard you’re leavin’ with the new boyfriend and his sister,” Alex said as I tried to ignore him. The town was small enough that news traveled fast and it was impossible to escape someone asking you about any rumors. He was skateboarding next to me. I was on the sidewalk and he was in the gutter. There was a, thankfully unlit, cigarette behind his ear.

“Whether I am or not is none of your business, Alex,” I said.

“C’mon, Blaze. Talk to me. Whatever happened to us?” Alex pressed.

I hissed out a sigh through ground teeth. “You turned into a jerk,” I grumbled.

“Excuse me?” he snapped.

“Well look at you, Al!” I retorted. “Smoking and skateboarding and feeling like you’re all rebellious and punk when really you’re just as stuck as everyone else in this forsaken town! I broke up with you for good reason and who I date and what I do is none of your business!”

“Is there a problem, Blaze?” a new voice asked. Liam stepped out of nowhere, one arm encircling my waist protectively, the other hanging at his side. He was significantly taller and more muscular than Alex.

“No,” I replied tightly. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Hmm,” Liam grunted, eyes sweeping Alex up and down. “Sure?”

“Yes, Liam,” I said. “I’m not scared of Alex.”

“You have no right to take her away,” Alex snarled. “She belongs in this town.”

“She belongs where she chooses to belong, you imagine-less walnut,” Liam snapped. “She’s choosing to belong to the world.”

“And to you,” I added to Liam. It was a bit of an odd thing to say, but it got the point across.

“And to me,” he said thoughtfully, as if my saying that was the best thing he’d ever heard. If I had to guess, imprinting was a powerful force. I wondered how much was real and how much was just his brain chemistry imprinting me in his feelings and keeping him “in love” with me.

Alex dropped off his skateboard and grabbed my arm. “Blaze, please. Don’t leave. This town will never be the same without you!”

“Good,” I said. “I don’t want to be in this town anymore. I’m done.” I tilted onto my tiptoes and brushed a light kiss on Liam’s jaw. He gave me a soft smile and then gave Alex a hard look.

“Let her go,” he snarled. His other hand grabbed Alex’s wrist---the one that was holding onto me---and forced it off. “And if you want to keep your hand---”

“Liam,” I warned, putting one hand on his chest. “Don’t.”

He didn’t say anything.

I put my other hand on his chest and pushed. “Liam. Let him go. He’s not worth it.”

Alex was making vague noises of pain behind me as I tried to push Liam off.

“Onwee,” I whispered.

That caught his attention. He looked down at me.

“Please. Let him go.”

He released Alex’s hand and gently brushed his lips over my forehead. “My apologies, Blaze,” he said. He took my hand and started to walk off in the direction I’d been going in before Alex interrupted me. Once my ex was out of earshot, Liam’s grip loosened somewhat. “I’m sorry, Blaze. I shouldn’t have lost it like that.”

“It’s alright,” I said with a shrug, shoving my hand in my other pocket. “You didn’t seriously hurt him. Just... try not to let it happen again.”

“I don’t know if I’ll always be able to help that,” he said. “When it comes to you... you’re my whole world now.”

“I... I’m sorry,” I said.

“For... what?” Liam asked.

“For doing this to you. For... imprinting myself on you.”

He shook his head. “If it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine. I initiated the kiss, didn’t I?”

I pursed my lips and remembered the night on the beach last week.

^^^^^

Bonfires on the beach weren’t uncommon. Even in autumn when it was cold outside. The dying summer was a bit chilly, but nothing the heat of the bonfire couldn’t amend.

I kept it burning merrily, partially with my powers, partially with the help of lots of logs. Some of them were driftwood that added a bluish hue to the flames from the salt soaked in them. My friends trusted me with the fire because I paid it more attention than they did. I noticed when it started burning low.

“Hey, Blaze,” Millie whispered, nudging me.

“Hmm?” I asked, tearing my gaze from the fire.

“That new guy is staring at you.”

I glanced over. Liam Wesson’s eyes were on me. His sister, Leanne, was nowhere to be seen. I’d only caught sight of her once at the grocery store the day they’d moved in. They’d been in town for about a week.

I shrugged at Millie. “Firelight is very flattering on me,” I joked.

She nudged me again. “Go talk to him! He’s cute!” she hissed.

That he was. Standing alone at the edge of the party. Like he always seemed to do everywhere---even if there wasn’t an edge to stand on. Tall with lean muscle, he had thick black hair that caught the firelight with amber glints---the same glints as his eyes. He had a sharp jawline with a narrow face. I snuck him another glance. Black leather jacket, green shirt underneath, jeans slung low on his hips, black boots. It was not fair how handsome he looked.

I gave Millie a look. “Fine,” I muttered. “But only because I’ve talked to him before.”

A couple times. On a few dates. That no one knew we’d gone on. Somehow. Even in a small town where everyone knew everything. No idea how that worked. Maybe Liam had pulled some alien woo-doo to keep us hidden from the rest of the people in my town. That wouldn’t have surprised me.

I marched over to him. “Millie’s telling me to come over here and talk to you,” I said with a grin.

“Yeah?” he asked, a small grin of his own forming.

“Yeah,” I replied.

“She know?”

“Nobody does. I don’t know how, but somehow, no one knows.”

“Wanna go for a walk? The beach at night is gorgeous and the moon’s comin’ out.” He held his elbow out for me.

I took it. “Sure,” I said.

We wandered away from the party, arm-in-arm and quiet until the party noise faded behind us. “They’re gonna notice,” Liam remarked. “When you vanish and don’t come to tend to the fire.”

I shrugged. “Let ‘em. I like hanging out with you,” I said.

“But we haven’t said anything to anyone thus far. I thought you wanted to keep it a secret.” He glanced over at me as the last vestiges of firelight faded from his hair, moonlight taking over. It caught his unnaturally amber eyes and gave them a metallic glimmer.

“It doesn’t need to be a total secret,” I said. “I just thought, at the beginning, it’d be safer to not say anything. Avoid the rumors.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah. Small town, remember? Everyone knows everyone and everything too.”

“And now?”

“Now I don’t care if they know I like you.”

“Oh---you---” His voice broke. “---you like me?”

I rubbed the tip of my nose. “Well, I... uh... yeah,” I said. “Not very, uh, smooth at admitting stuff like that. Not very good at timing either.”

Liam shook his head. “No, it’s... it’s endearing.”

I blushed. “Thanks.”

There was a pause between us. “Paos you’re beautiful in this light.” He clapped his hand over his mouth. “Sgant. I’m sorry.”

I laughed, ignoring the strange words. “Don’t be. It’s... endearing.” I bit my tongue and grinned with a little giggle.

Liam chuckled as we stopped, overlooking the sea. “I, uh... I like you too, by the way.”

“Really?” I asked. “I think that’s a first.”

“What?” Liam asked.

“Requited crush,” I said.

“How is that a first? You’re incredible, Blaze.”

“Wish everyone else thought that. To them I’m just the girl they grew up with. Nothing special.”

“That’s not true.”

“To them it is,” I said.

Liam turned toward me and brushed my hair out of my face. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” he said quietly.

“And how do you see me?” I asked, half-desolate, half-playful.

He brushed my hair out of my face a little firmer as it fell back over my eye. “You’re starlight, Blaze,” he whispered, leaning closer. Like a magnet, I was pulled to him.

Breathing heavily, both of us, he bent down, pressing his lips to mine. I threw my arms around his neck and held onto him, kissing him back enthusiastically.

^^^^^

I should have known everything would change after that.

I looked over at Liam. “Yeah. Yeah you did initiate the kiss, but I wasn’t exactly prudish about it either.”

“What-ish?”

“Prudish. You know, like... Puritan... or... never mind.” I shook my head. “So... when are we getting out of here?”

“Soon. Promise.” We kept walking. “By the way, that kiss you gave me, just now when your friend was being a ghaun---you don’t have to do that. Play like you like me when really you’re not sure yet.”

“Maybe I don’t have to, but I want to,” I said. “I do like you. That’s why I kissed you back, remember?”

He bit his lower lip and grinned at me. “For sure?”

“For sure.” I grinned back at him.

We ducked into the grocery store.

“Thanks for saving me from a really awkward conversation with Alex, by the way.”

He shrugged. “My pleasure.”

“Just... don’t rip anyone’s arms off.”

“I’ll do my best.”

I woke up with a gasp. Liam’s arms were around me, warm and strong and secure. It’d be impossible to wriggle out of his embrace without waking him up---I know, I’d tried---so I just laid there.

Didn’t stop him from waking up and threading his fingers into my hair. “What’s wrong?” he murmured lowly. Not that Faren would wake up on the other side of the wall anyway. His other arm pulled me closer to his bare chest as he buried his nose in my hair and inhaled.

I panted, reaching around his back and holding onto him, feeling his solidarity. “Nothing. Just a bad dream,” I said.

Gosh falling in love with an alien was so something I’d do.

He stroked my hair. “Wanna tell me about it?”

I shook my head against his chest. “Not really.”

“You can trust me with anything. I’m all yours, faithfully. You can trust the one who you’ve imprinted.”

“I know. I just... I don’t want to talk about it.” I snuggled my forehead against his chest.

“What was it about?”

“The night I got my powers. Magnified a hundred times worse.” My breath shook as I exhaled. “Go back to sleep. It’s late,” I said. His fingers pressed against my scalp firmer.

“Blaze...”

“I’m fine. Promise.”

He held me close and sighed back into sleep, his breath fluttering the hair on the top of my head.

One of the things I was jealous of about Noqians? They could fall asleep on command. They also didn’t need quite as much as humans so Liam and Faren were always awake before I was. It wasn’t uncommon for me to fall asleep in the motel room and wake up in the car.

The dream replayed in my head. Bright and loud and more vivid than the actual night had to have been. I’d always rather liked my powers, but the night I got them nearly destroyed my life. My relationship with my parents had never recovered. I’d been keeping a massive secret since I was twelve. And it strained my friendships---and every other kind of relationship I had.

I sighed and pressed my forehead against Liam’s chest. I could smell the motel’s soap on his skin. Under it was a musky scent that I recognized as him. It was calming.

“I love you, Liam Wesson,” I whispered, not even caring that Liam Wesson wasn’t his real name. Who cared?

Closing my eyes, I fell back to sleep.

^^^^^

“Blaze!” Dad shouted, reaching out for me as the boat rocked. The blue meteor hurtled past, heat coming off of it making the water of the bayou steam around us and our skin turn red. Mom grabbed my arm and hauled me closer so I wouldn’t fall overboard.

“That was close,” she said, holding me close.

Somewhere several miles away, the bright light of the meteor vanished as it crashed.

The heat didn’t dissipate. It built and built---inside me. Not externally.

Mom let me go with a sharp hiss. “Blaze, you’re burning up!”

I looked down. My hands were glowing. I shrieked and looked up at my parents. “What’s happening?” I demanded.

“I don’t know, honey, but you need to calm down, okay? Just breathe. Come on, baby. Breathe,” Mom said soothingly. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. My heart was racing and I was terrified.

“My skin is burning!” I exclaimed, panting. The glowing grew brighter.

“Blaze, Blaze calm down. Please.”

Fire erupted on my hands. I screamed.

Thinking fast, my brother made the smartest decision possible: he pushed me off the boat. I landed in the swamp water with a splash. When I surfaced, spluttering and suddenly freezing, steam was curling off the surface. My parents pulled me back into the boat and wrapped me up in a towel.

“We have to go home,” Mom said to Dad. “Find out what’s happening.”

“Right,” Dad agreed.

^^^^^

Onwee woke silently to Blaze trembling in his arms. She was still asleep. Her pajama shirt was silky against his bare skin, her hair soft under his lips. He held her tighter to him until her shaking quieted.

Sgant, he loved her. And it wasn’t just the imprint.

Granted, most of it was probably the imprint, but he’d liked her before he imprinted on her. She was bright in more ways than one---smart, happy, compassionate---and so beautiful. To him. He’d never met another human quite like her. He knew humans were all unique in their own ways but she was the first human he’d felt that with.

“I love you, Blaze Tether,” he whispered.

“Either-a you kids got a light?” a man in the bar asked. Liam’s hand tightened in mine, warning me not to do anything.

“Nope, sorry,” I said with a friendly half-grin and smile.

“Where’re you from? ‘Cause, uh, the accent,” the man said. He was clearly drunk. Too drunk to remember much in the morning.

I shrugged. “Podunk beach town you’ve never heard of,” I replied. I reached out with my free hand, snapped, and lit my thumb, lighting his cigar while no one else paid us any attention. “Have a good night now.”

“What are you doing?” Liam hissed.

“He’s too drunk. Even if he remembers me, no one will believe him.” I smirked. “Let’s go, babe,” I said. “Faren will be expecting us.”

He pulled me out of the bar with more force than necessary after snatching the drink we’d gotten for Faren. She was holding the rag to her shoulder. “Ugh. Thank Sgant,” she muttered when Liam passed her the bottle. She downed half of it in one go as we drove off.

Liam didn’t say a word for several miles. “Okay,” I said. “You’re mad.”

He glanced at me, amber eyes flashing the way they often did when he was suppressing a superpower outburst. “You know better than to use your powers out in the open like that!” he said quietly.

“So I lit his cigar with my thumb. So what?” I retorted.

“I’m trying to keep you safe, Blaze,” Liam said.

“You don’t need to. No one’s after me. I came with you to be with you. Not because I needed to run.” I rubbed his arm as his hand on the steering wheel tightened. “I love you, Liam.”

“Love you too,” he said tightly. He shot me a quick look. “You ever wonder what your life would have turned out like if I hadn’t imprinted on you?”

I shrugged. “Not really,” I said. “It’s better this way. Being mobile. Easier to keep my powers a secret. I’d have them whether we met or not. But I like it this way. Even if you’re overprotective sometimes.” I grinned.

Faren groaned in the backseat.

“Fare, I can cauterize that,” I said.

“You can’t get hot enough,” Faren said. “My skin is denser than yours.”

“I think I can,” I said. “Might as well let me try.”

Faren grunted. “Fine. Onwee, pull over somewhere private when we get out of this town.” She took another chug. “That is the last time I try something you humans call fun,” she said.

“It was an accident,” I reminded her.

“You say that like I care,” she muttered.

“Don’t mind her. She’s grumpy when she’s in pain,” Liam said.

“I know,” I said.

We drove for what felt like an hour before Liam pulled over on the side of the road. There were trees on both sides of the road. He helped Faren out of the car and onto the ground. Thankfully it was dirt so the grass wouldn’t catch and burn down the woods.

Liam held the rag while I tore her shirt off her shoulder so it wouldn’t catch either.

“Go as hot as you can,” Faren said. I nodded.

“I will. But tell me if it’s too much,” I replied.

“Doubt it.” Clenching her jaw, she gave me a nod.

I put my hand on her wound, trying not to gag at the blood even if it was violet, and channeled fire into my hand, as much heat as I could muster. My hand glowed red, then orange, then yellow, then white, and then blue-white. The air around us sizzled with heat as Faren cried out in pain, arching her back. Liam helped pin her down until I felt the wound cauterize.

Once it did, I stopped---

And fell to the side, totally wiped out.

Liam caught me before I could hit the dirt. “You alright?” he asked.

“Tired,” I said. “Faren...”

“I’m fine, Blaze,” Faren said, sitting up in my peripheral vision, her good hand gingerly feeling at her shoulder. “You did it. Thank you.”

I nodded.

Liam helped me to my feet. My knees were wobbly and my legs trembled with the effort of staying up. “Paos. You really overdid it,” Liam muttered, scooping me up into his arms to set me in the car. I shrugged weakly.

“Your skin’s denser than mine,” I said.

He went back for Faren. She grouched a bit but got in the car on her own after Liam helped her to her feet. “Y’okay, Blaze?” she asked as she buckled up.

“Yeah. Just overexerted my powers,” I said, shutting my eyes and leaning on Liam’s shoulder as he turned the car back on and we drove off. He didn’t seem to mind and it didn’t seem to hinder his driving ability so I stayed there as the car sped down the road.

“You’re gonna have to burn that rag too,” he said quietly. “We don’t want to leave... any of our blood behind.”

I nodded. “Right,” I said. “But...” I yawned. “Nap first.”

Liam chuckled. “Sweetheart, you’re going to go to sleep and get some good rest. Worry about the rag later, okay?”

I grunted in assent. “Mmhmm.”

“Wait a minute...! Blaze?!” a familiar voice demanded.

I whirled around. “Amy!” I exclaimed, rushing down the sidewalk and tackling my best friend into a hug. “How are you?!”

“I’m fine. Geez. Never thought I’d see you away from home.”

“Me too! It’s so good to see you!”

“You too, B. What’s going on? What are you doing here? Are you alone?”

“No. My boyfriend and his sister are in that store over there,” I said, gesturing to where Liam and Faren had gone into. “We’re just traveling. Seeing the country a little, you know what I mean?”

“Yeah I do. We’re doing the same thing. Since when do you have a boyfriend?”

“Since a couple months ago,” I said. Wow. Had it been that long already? Summer was long gone and winter would be sweeping in any day now. “He and his sister moved to our town and we started to really like each other and hit it off from there. So... we decided to travel.”

“I’m so proud of you!” Amy said, hugging me.

“Thanks. How’s your boyfriend?” I asked. In a teasing tone, I added, “Y’know, the one you abandoned me for?”

She laughed---she knew I bore her no ill will about Harrison. “He’s fine. He’s just picking up the takeout we ordered. We actually live in this town,” she replied. I looked around. “It’s bigger than home, but not so big that I feel anxious about it.”

I nodded. “Yeah. This seems like a nice place,” I agreed.

“Blaze?” Liam called. He jogged over. “Who’s th---Amy right?”

“That’s me. How did you know?”

“Blaze has photos of you on her phone.”

“Oh. Right,” Amy said.

“Amy this is Liam Wesson, my boyfriend. Liam, this is Amelia Grady, my best friend from home,” I introduced them. Liam shook her hand with a charming smile.

“Dang, B. You know how to pick ‘em, don’t you?” she teased.

“You could say that,” I agreed.

Harrison appeared down the sidewalk, leaving a restaurant. “Amy?”

“Over here, babe!” she called, waving Harrison over. “Come meet Blaze’s boyfriend!”

“Blaze got a boyfriend?”

“Yes. She did,” Amy said.

“Liam Wesson,” Liam said, sticking his hand out.

“Harrison. Tyler. Harrison Tyler,” Harrison replied, shaking his hand. “Whoa. Quite a grip you got there, dude.”

Liam let him go. “Op. Sorry.”

“No, no. It’s... fine. Just unexpected,” Harrison said. I leaned into Liam’s side. He wrapped an arm around my waist subconsciously. I put my arm around his waist too. I didn’t have to absorb his body heat since I made plenty of my own with my powers, but that didn’t mean I didn’t appreciate being surrounded by his heat.

“Well, keep in touch, okay? I want to hear about all of it!” Amy said.

I nodded. “You got it. Promise.”

Amy beamed. “Yes!”

“Detain both of them. Immediately,” the man in the military uniform ordered. He had three stars on his shoulders. A general maybe? I couldn’t remember.

Soldiers grabbed me and yanked me and Liam apart.

“Liam!” I shrieked. “LIAM!”

“Blaze!” he shouted, wrenching two guards off of him.

“LIAM!” I cried.

Anger and fear surged through me. I channeled it directly down my arms, burning at the skin of the soldiers holding onto me. “Let go of me!” I growled, shoving them off. Three more guards were trying to restrain Liam.

I threw out my hands in their direction and let off pillars of flame, hitting them in the chests. The force of the fire carried them away from him while I ran toward him. I cut off the fire as I reached him, throwing my arms around him. He wrapped his around me. “We need to go,” he said.

“Ya think?” I muttered. “I told you getting too close to Area Fifty-One was a bad idea.”

“You can gloat later, babe,” Liam said, grabbing my hand. We ran through the building, ignoring the flashing lights and wailing alarms.

“No way we’re gonna make it out of here!” I shouted. “Not alive! They’ll catch us!”

“They won’t,” Liam said. I wished I could share his confidence. “Hold onto me.”

“I am,” I said.

“Good.” As we ran down a long, loud concrete hallway, I started to feel a bit... light. Like I was running on clouds.

A step ahead of me, Liam was growing... transparent? What?

“What’s going on?” I called.

“Hang on!” Liam shouted over the alarms.

I must have blinked or something because suddenly we were outside, running away. “What the Taw just happened?!” I asked.

I’d been around him and Faren long enough that I started talking like them.

“Occasionally we can teleport,” Liam said. “It’s difficult and exhausting so it doesn’t happen very often but I figured now would be a good time.” We slowed to a stop, panting.

“Should... find... Faren.”

“She can take care of herself. Right now we need to worry about us.” Liam looked around. “We really are in the middle of nowhere out here, huh?”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“Let’s get going.”

As we started to trudge through the desert, I glanced around. “How did they even find us?”

“Well... Faren and I are Noqian. You’re a hybrid, technically. I’m guessing we give off some sort of different energy. Maybe our thermal or infrared spectrum is different from a human’s.”

“Maybe,” I said.

I curled up against Liam. He held me protectively. “I love you,” I whispered in the darkness.

“I love you,” he replied. He glanced over at the clock on the bedside table. “Hey, happy birthday, Blaze.”

I smiled. “Thanks baby.”

“Y’know... it wasn’t me and Faren crashing that gave you your powers.”

“I figured as much.”

“But that means there are Noqians who fled to Earth after Faren and I---and the others---did.”

“You never told me why you did come here,” I said.

“Global civil war. Most of us who ran were targets. All Noqians have powers. It’s just how we adapted to our environment. But those of us who fled are stronger than average. Faren is a high-ranking warrior---even at a young age.”

“Let me guess: supposed to protect you?”

“Partially. When I was a kid. Her other jobs were to train me to control my powers and to teach me about Noq. When we fled, I was too young to have permanent memory. Equivalent to a human two-year-old. In humans permanent long-term memory begins at about three.”

“Why Earth?”

Liam shrugged. “It’s as good a place as any. The weather’s somewhat stable, it can sustain life, the gravity isn’t quite as strong as on Noq and the atmosphere is richer in oxygen and nitrogen, and the people are relatively nice as long as they don’t know you’re an alien. Americans are a little abrasive, but there are lots of decent ones. Like present company.”

“Aw thanks. Would you be saying that if you hadn’t imprinted on me?”

“Of course. I liked you before we kissed,” Liam said, pulling me closer.

“Fair enough. So if more Noqians have come here... can you and Faren find them?”

He hummed in thought. “I don’t know. Faren probably could in the blink of an eye. Especially if she knew where to look but it’s been ten years since that ship crashed so it’ll be hard to track them now.”

“Are you ever... going back?”

“Probably not. Unless we can take you with us.”

“I wouldn’t survive on Noq,” I said. “If your atmosphere doesn’t have as much oxygen and the gravity is stronger, I’d die.”

“Yeah I probably would too, if I’m honest. I’ve lived the vast majority of my life here. My body’s adapted to Earth’s conditions. Hence why I’m not going back. Faren could. She’s old enough that she can return without too many bad repercussions, but not me.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Not unless they want me back. Which I doubt. I don’t even know what’s happened on Noq since we left. The war could be over, but it could still be raging. Who knows? I have no way of contacting them. Faren might, but she’s never trusted me with it. Which is probably safe given I really don’t have any love for Noq. Earth is my home. You are my home.”

“Don’t let Faren hear you say that,” I joked.

Liam chuckled. “She cleaves to Noq because she remembers it. She grew up there. Lived... not quite most of her life there. Me? Earth is all I remember. We fled the civil war but... those of us who left lost a lot in being so young.”

“Mm,” I hummed.

Liam stroked my hair. “Get some rest, Blaze. I’ll wake you when it’s time to leave.”

“No you won’t,” I teased. “I’ll wake up in the car, the same as I always do.”

Liam smiled---I could feel it more than see it. “Fair point,” he said. “Sleep well, sana.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Easiest English translation? ‘My love.’ More complicated one could be, ‘My one and only who I have imprinted on.’”

I giggled.

“Listen, Blaze, I shouldn’t be saying this, but there might be a way for you to imprint on Onwee as well. You might be Noqian enough with your powers and the exposure to our technology for it to work,” Faren said. “But there’s no guarantee and if it doesn’t work you could end up...”

“Dead?” I suggested.

“Mm... Close enough to it that you’d wish you were.” She shook her head. “But it doesn’t have to matter. Just... if you want to imprint on him too, you can.”

“I’m already in love with him,” I pointed out.

“Yes, but the majority of your DNA is human. The Noqian transformations haven’t changed the way you love. And humans’ love it a fickle thing,” Faren said.

“Not if you really commit to it and work hard at it. There’s a reason married couples who really love each other stay together and love each other till the day they die.”

“But there’s no reason to believe that you will be one of those.”

I clenched my jaw. “Not for you. You don’t know me that well yet. But a life-long marriage is something I’ve always aspired to. That being said... tell me how to imprint on Liam. If I think I can handle it, maybe I’ll try.” I rubbed under my nose---more out of habit than any real need.

Faren gave me a look. “Okay,” she said. “You’re not going to like it, but it is possible.”

I shrugged. “Tell me,” I said. “I’m willing to try---if I can.”

“It’s dangerous,” Liam said, stepping in.

“We’re just talking it out first,” I said. “No one’s making any promises. Nothing’s certain. I just wanna hear how it might work and then we’ll make a decision.”

Faren closed her eyes. “I didn’t want you to hear us talking,” she said.

“Well, I did,” Liam said, a little snarky about it. “Blaze, don’t. It’s dangerous.”

“Tell me how it’s done. Then I’ll decide. If you’re that opposed, maybe I won’t.”

“Just want you to be safe, sana.”

“I know, Liam,” I said. “Just tell me.”

“Alright fine.” He huffed a sigh. “Faren?” With a sweeping gesture, he indicated for Faren to tell me. She gave me a small grin of reassurance.

#original #original fiction #my writing #mine #a series of random scenes #what even is this?#7000 words of imagination vomit

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lalobalives · 8 years ago

Text

*an essay a week in 2017*

A couple I know had twins prematurely a few weeks back. My partner Katia and I went to visit them. They’re tiny. 26 weeks. Just over a pound each, they’re being held in incubators, fed through tubes in their belly buttons, they have tubes in their noses, and IV needles in their little arms, nodes on their chests checking their vitals. I didn’t realize I’d be triggered. I went to support this beautiful lesbian couple. I went to show them solidarity.

As soon as I walked into the NICU, I thought: That was me once…

I felt the couple’s anxiety. The mom who carried the babies, is stoic and strong, but she was brought to tears that day when she said she couldn’t get her breasts to produce more than a few drops of milk. “It’s the only thing I can control,” she said through tears.

Her partner, who is always smiling and joking and making everyone around her feel warm, was all slumped shoulders and wet eyes. They both gush over their boys. They’re hopeful and so in love…

I can’t imagine what that must be like. I remember when I had my daughter nearly 13 years ago. The labor was so hard. 26 hours. I finally accepted the epidural at hour 18 when my doctor told me they would have to give me Pitocin to induce my labor because I was only dilated 3 centimeters. “I’m not supposed to tell you this but you’re having back labor, the most painful kind of labor there is. It’s gonna get a lot worse when we induce you. Take the epidural, Vanessa.” She brushed a wisp of hair form my forehead. I caved.

They finally decided to cut me open to get baby girl at hour 26. Nena started screaming before her body was out of me. Like she was sad to leave that place where I’d housed her.

Later, in the recovery room, a nurse came in and asked if there was a history of kidney disease in my family. I shook my head and asked, “What’s going on?” She said nothing but then asked me if I’d give them permission to do a spinal tap. “Just in case,” she said, a smile plastered on her face that I refused to believe. “No,” I shouted. “Bring me my baby.” They brought her to me a few minutes later. Her head was cone shaped because she was stuck in the birth canal for so long, she had my wide nose and these big, curious eyes that melted my insides. We stared at one another for a while. Then, I took out my breast and she latched on without issue.

I couldn’t imagine not loving this little girl. I couldn’t imagine not suffering if she suffered…

I think of my friends. I think of how they travel every day to the hospital to see their babies. I think of the photo they sent us when they were finally able to hold them. I think of how scared they are and hopeful…how hard they pray. I think of my mother.

I was that baby in an incubator. IV through my head because the veins in my arms and legs were too weak to hold a needle. I had nodes on my chest and head, monitoring my vitals. My body was bruised from the needle pricks. I spent much of my first year in the hospital.

It was an enzyme specialist visiting from Boston who took a look at me and discovered that I was born without enzymes to break down my food. That enzyme deficiency led to diabetes, or so I’ve been told. I didn’t know what all this meant except that I almost didn’t make it; and that it offered easy access guilting for my mother who talked about her “carreras con Vanessa.”

It’s now, at 41, after going to see my friend preemies, that I’ve really started to think about what it is I had and why my OB kept checking my sugar when I was pregnant with my kid.

***

A 3D model of pepsin, an enzyme that digests food proteins into peptides. Source: LiveScience.com

Enzymes are very delicate proteins that are responsible for carrying out virtually every metabolic function, from the digestion of food to the synthesis of DNA.

We have around 3000 unique enzymes in our bodies that are involved in over 7000 enzymatic reactions.

Whattoexpect.com writes:

Metabolic disorders are conditions that affect the way the body uses food (protein, carbohydrates, and fats) and converts it into energy or fuel. Under normal circumstances, a baby takes in food and then enzymes in the digestive system metabolize (break down) the food (or breast milk or formula), turning it into needed sugars and acids that the body can use right away or store for later. When a baby has a metabolic disorder, the body can’t break down the food correctly, which can cause the body to have too much or too little of certain substances (amino acids, phenylalanine, blood sugar to mention a few).

Allegedly, newborn screenings can detect dozens of metabolic disorders, allowing your baby to be treated before symptoms arise. But the screening they did on me in December of 1975 didn’t detect the condition I had.

According to LiveScience.com:

Enzymes are biological molecules (typically proteins) that significantly speed up the rate of virtually all of the chemical reactions that take place within cells. They are vital for life and serve a wide range of important functions in the body, such as aiding in digestion and metabolism.

Some enzymes help break large molecules into smaller pieces that are more easily absorbed by the body. Other enzymes help bind two molecules together to produce a new molecule. Enzymes are highly selective catalysts, meaning that each enzyme only speeds up a specific reaction.

According to my research, babies with metabolic disorders often seem perfectly healthy after birth and show no symptoms — they can appear at any age, even in adulthood.

Symptoms showed up for me when I was just weeks old. I’ve heard stories about how sick I’d get. The diarrhea. The dehydration. The projectile vomiting. Mom didn’t know what to do. She told me of her carreras to the hospital. How hard it was to get the diagnosis. That doctors at Elmhurst Hospital told her that I wasn’t going to make it. That there was nothing they could do. That’s when she took me out of there. She had to sign a release form so she couldn’t sue the hospital if something happened to me. She carried me, on a makeshift board, to Columbia Baby Hospital, and it’s there that I was saved.

Mom says she took me back to Elmhurst Hospital when I was two. I was a chunky, bright eyed toddler by then. They didn’t believe it was me.

But it was that visiting specialist that saved me. He put me on a special diet that introduced amino acids to my body. I basically had to teach my body to create enzymes.

I think about the profundity of that, and I know there’s a metaphor there though I can’t think of it yet.

Dr. Babatunde Samuel writes: “A chemical reaction without an enzyme is like a drive over a mountain. The enzyme bores a tunnel through it so that passage is far quicker and takes much less energy.” (Source: Metamia.com)

I was born without the ability to make things easier for myself. I had to teach myself this skill… I had to teach myself how to create shortcuts. How to dig tunnels. How to create my own pathways…

I had to do this when I was months old.

So it was at months old that I taught myself how to create a life for myself. How I taught myself to leave at 13, to make my way in the world. How I taught myself to reinvent myself so many times…like I did seven years ago, when I quit my job to live this writing and teaching life. And like I did four years ago, when my brother died and I had to teach myself a new normal. I had to confront this grief I’ve carried for decades…this mother wound.

At months old, I taught my body a skill that has carried me throughout my life: how to create my own pathways. Shit…

***

I’m tired of writing about my mother and this wound. I’m tired of this obsession of mine.

I think of Virginia Woolf, who wrote in her autobiographical fragments that were later compiled in Moments of Being, “Until I was in [my] forties”—until she’d written To the Lighthouse—“the presence of my mother obsessed me. I could hear her voice, see her, imagine what she would do or say as I went about my day’s doings. She was one of the invisible presences who after all play so important a part in every life.”

Woolf’s mother died when she was just 13 years old. In his LitHub essay, Christopher Frizzle reveals that Woolf believed that the death’s “shock-receiving capacity” was what “makes me a writer.” Frizzle writes: “She thought the productive thing to do with a shock was to “make it real by putting it into words. It is only by putting it into words that I make it whole; this wholeness means that it has lost its power to hurt me; it gives me, perhaps because by doing so I take away the pain, a great delight to put the severed parts together.”

***

I’ve been rereading some of my essays from the Relentless Files Challenge I did last year. In Week 20’s essay, I wrote: “What I’m realizing is that what haunts me isn’t so much that I’m unmothered but why I am unmothered. What happened to my mother that made her this way? What happened to the women in my family that hardened them and made them unable to mother their children?”

Natalie Goldberg says: “Writers end up writing about their obsessions. Things that haunt them; things they can’t forget; stories they carry in their bodies waiting to be released.”

In his essay, Let Obsession be Your Ally: Be Haunted by It, Steve Almond wrote:

When young writers ask me what they should be writing about, I always say the same thing: write about what you can’t get rid of by other means.

Because your obsessions aren’t there simply to fill your mind and heart with junk. They are the deepest forms of human meaning, even if they seem frivolous or shameful.

I’ve written two novels where my protagonists have strained relationships with their moms. The women struggle to become women on their own, without the guidance of their mothers. In both books, the strained relationships are resolved in the end. I tried in fiction, to get what I haven’t gotten in real life: closure, understanding, restoration…

I’m not sure if that’s what I’m searching for in this memoir I’m writing. I know that this obsession is exhausting but it’s not going anywhere. It creeps in all the time. No matter how cheesy the movie or show, a scene between a mother and daughter easily undoes me.

Last night I watched that corny ass movie “Snatched” with Goldie Hawn and Amy Schumer. There’s a scene where Schumer rescues her mom from where she’s being held captive. Schumer holds her mom and apologizes as she blubbers.“You’re always there. Sad or lonely, it’s 3 in the morning and I call… You always answer. You’re that person for me, mom.” I started tearing up. The scene was completely unbelievable and the movie is all sorts of absurd, but that scene still moved me. Why? Because I don’t have that. Because I’ve never had. Because I’ll never have that…hoping for it has caused more damage than I can describe, so relinquishing that hope was the safest and healthiest thing I could do for myself. And, still, there’s sadness in this. A deep sadness that walks with me.

There’s no sense in denying it. That won’t make it go away. I’m not sure anything will.

***

I was a mess when we got back from the hospital that day. I snapped at my partner, who was triggered for her own personal reasons. I’ve hesitated to write about this because this is a real situation that dear friends are enduring, and I don’t want to make it about me…but that’s not how obsessions or triggers work. They don’t ask for permission to come for you and drag you underwater. They don’t abide by any timelines or rules. They don’t have any sense of decorum or decency. They come and they haunt you. They demand that you pay attention and that you write about them. Here I am, listening…

Relentless Files — Week 70 (#52essays2017 Week 17) *an essay a week in 2017* A couple I know had twins prematurely a few weeks back.

#52essays2017 #enzymes #obsessions #Relentless Files #triggers #writing life

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