#7 year old me asking my parents to help me solve all the goddamn math puzzles when i first got curious village

[enigmachine]

user enigmachine post something non-shitpost challenge (100% WILL FAIL)

ok but i SWEAR i will post something serious….. definitely not today but someday

[autisticteru]

A Kick in the Teeth is Good for Some - CHAPTER 8

Summary: All Ritsu wants is to move on and be happy with his life. But something keeps growing inside him. From his stomach to his chest to his throat and out his eyes and mouth, until it fully surrounds him making it impossible to ignore. He can cut it down, but it will just grow back. He needs to destroy it, to pull it up from the roots. And he thinks he finally knows how. But there’s only one person who can help with that. Unfortunately, that person is Teruki Hanazawa.

Read on AO3 HERE

Read from the beginning HERE

Individual chapters:

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

Check out fanart for this chapter! (x) 

Chapter 8: Fool

What happens next?

It’s a question that begs answering. Ritsu Kageyama technically had everything he wanted. He had good grades. He was popular. His relationship with his brother was closer than ever. He even had the psychic powers he had long dreamed of. And to top it all off, he had a new best friend.

His name was Shou Suzuki. He was a thirteen year old esper, and a powerful one at that. Energetic, typically upbeat, and highly protective of the ones he loved, Shou was everything Ritsu could have ever asked for in a friend. So when he revealed that he would be attending Salt Middle School as a second year, Ritsu was beyond excited.

Well, he sucked at showing it, but it was the truth! Which was why Ritsu brought up studying sessions as soon as it was mentioned. Shou was certainly strong, but he lacked book smarts. Ritsu could only assume whatever educational system Claw had must have sucked. Not surprising. It started two weeks before the end of Ritsu's first year of middle school Ritsu had started going over to Shou’s mother's house, and they exchanged skills. Ritsu needed to help Shou catch up so he wouldn’t fail on his first day of classes. And Shou wanted to help Ritsu reach his full potential as an esper. And both of them wanted an excuse to spend more time together.

And it should have stayed that way. It should have stayed that way.

Ritsu was a fool.

“Ritsu, this is boring!” Shou whined.

“It’s really not.”

“How do you not find this boring? It’s math, Ritsu! The worst subject!”

“You just think it’s the worst subject because you refuse to understand it. You’re just panicking at the sight of numbers.”

“I’m not panicking! And I don’t understand it because it’s hard!”

“Here,” Ritsu cleared the desk and grabbed a new blank sheet of paper and wrote down the math problem from the text book on it. “Look at this problem. What do you see?”

“A bunch of nonsense numbers and letters.”

“Exactly. That’s what your version of ‘math’ looks like. So just pretend for a second that this isn’t math and start thinking of it as a puzzle.”

“A puzzle?”

“That’s what every math problem is. It’s about finding creative and quick solutions to a problem. And every puzzle has a set of rules and boundaries that you need to follow. Here, look.”

Ritsu started circling letters and numbers on the paper and stated each of their rules.

“So if we know what Y equals, we have to adjust X in order to match it. And the result is the coordinates you need to create the line. So if you know that, then can you draw the line using simple math?”

Ritsu handed Shou the pencil. Shou was hesitant at first, but he took the pencil and started writing. It took a while, but eventually Shou managed to draw a messy, yet accurate line across the grid Ritsu had mapped out for him.

“Is that...right?”

“Yes! You did it!”

“Ah! So it’s that simple?”

“No, it gets much harder.”

“Dammit!” Shou threw his head onto the table.

“Well everything gets more complicated. There are some times when equations like these become illogical. But even then, there are ways to solve them.”

“How can they get so complicated while following such a rigid set of rules?”

“Rules make things more complicated. If there were no rules, there wouldnt be any complications. You could just do whatever you want. You could say two plus two equals seven and you’d be right.”

Shou snickered and pushed his chair away as he got up.

“Okay!” he said. “I’m officially done with math!”

“You just graphed a straight line.”

“And I’m done! Let’s train now, Ritsu.”

“You really need to focus more, Suzuki. In school you can’t just get up and do whatever you want whenever you want.”

“I’m not in school yet, though!”

Ritsu sighed and stood up. He wasn’t in the mood to argue with a brick wall. Although his stubbornness had a certain charm to it. There was a sense of innocence to it.

Innocence.

What an odd word. What defines innocence, exactly?

...

Ritsu was a fool.

“Hey. Wake up.”

Those were the first words Ritsu heard when he regained his consciousness. Why was he unconscious in the first place? Ritsu tried to remember as he slowly opened his eyes and tried to get used to the light.

What day was it again? Thursday. Teru had been trying to show Ritsu different psychic techniques throughout the training. But the first day started off poorly.

“You almost pulled it off, so I know you have the ability.”

“That’s all I can do, though.”

“If you think that, then nothings going to change.”

Nothing ever changes.

It only got worse as the days went by.

“If you’re scared, you’ll never beat him! You’ll never improve!”

“This is all I can do!”

“Then that’s all you ever will do!”

Teru turned around and picked up the backpack. That was… yesterday? Maybe. Ritsu hadn’t been sleeping much, so all the days were blurring together.

But for some reason, Ritsu found himself unable to make the next big step in his improvement. It was as though something was tying him down every time he tried something new. It wrapped itself tightly around his heart, making Ritsu unable to move. Struggling only made it grow, and wrap itself tighter. It was suffocating. It was in his throat again.

No wonder Teru had been getting more and more pissed off. The first week was fine. Why was this week going so poorly?

“Maybe you should invite your brother over for the training as well. I’m sure he’d support you.”

Ritsu remembered those words that Teru had uttered on the bus that Monday morning. He remembered the way they pierced his chest like a sword. What was he feeling in that moment, exactly? Guilt? Well, guilt was certainly a part of it. But there was another feeling as well. Was it envy? Maybe. But that feeling was too familiar. If it were envy, Ritsu could recognize the emotion right away. But envy wasn’t far off from the truth. It was something close.

Jealousy.

That was the conclusion that he had come to. Jealousy had always been a bit different than envy, to Ritsu. Envy is internal. It focuses on what you don’t have, and it eats away at you. It compares you to others. Jealousy is external. It focuses on what others have, and it compares others to you. The difference between the two is so subtle, only one who has experience with both could truly understand.

And Ritsu knew envy like an old friend. And he knew that this wasn’t quite envy. But why jealousy? What was he jealous of? His brother’s power? No, that wasn’t it.

Was it Teru?

Ritsu rose up onto his feet so fast he nearly found himself blacking out again.

“Hey, don’t pass out again,” said Teru, although there was more annoyance in his voice than there was concern. As Ritsu’s vision cleared up, he found himself standing beside the bus stop bench by the forrest. Teru was sitting on the edge of the bench. The sun was low in the sky, though it wasn’t yet setting.

“Are we…?” Ritsu started while grabbing his head.

“Yeah. We’re done for today.”

“What happened?”

“It was my bad. I overestimated you, is all. Sorry.”

How passive-agressive. Though that was nothing new as of this week. Ritsu wanted to respond but Teru started again.

“I didn’t expect you to win the spar, but I also didn’t expect my attack to knock you out. It would have been easy to block if you would move outside your comfort zone once in a while, but I suppose I was wrong about you.”

Ritsu wanted to speak, but he had nothing to say. This was the first time he had seen Teru so pissed off and serious. It would have been less frightening if he was actually trying to kill him.

“Ritsu, tell me,” said Teru, “Why are you really doing this?”

“I already told you.”

“You’ll never beat him.”

“What?”

“I wanted you to surprise me, but so far this has been a waste of time. You can technically become stronger, but every time you improve on something you panic and go back into your comfort zone. It’s predictable. You’re predictable. You act like you don’t have any emotions but I can see them clear as day on your face. I’m not here to fix you, Ritsu, I’m here to train you. If you want to be fixed get a goddamn therapist.”

“H-hey! Wh-” Ritsu was interrupted by the sound of the bus stopping at the bench. Teru stood up and forced something into his hand.

“This is the money for the bus ride back. This bus will take you closer to your house so you don’t have to walk too far back. I’m taking the next one. Tomorrow you either show up ready to train or don’t show up at all. Bye.”

And with that, Teru shoved Ritsu forward onto the bus.

Mob’s parents were out seeing some friends, so Mob was left home alone. He was just watching TV when he heard the doorbell ring.

“Coming!” he called out as he walked over to the door. But when he opened it, he was surprised to see a familiar boy with red spikey hair standing in the doorway.

“S-Suzuki?!”

“Ah, you’re Ritsu’s brother!” said Shou with an uncharacteristically nervous voice. “Is he home? I really need to talk to him.”

“Ritsu…” Mob’s stomach sank. “He said he was hanging out with you.”

“What?”