#60 day Adar challenge

[reachingrachnius]

I haven’t been posting joyful Adar stuff cus we have a lot going on. Family in town for baby’s birthday and such. But here’s one: we were putting groceries away and the 2 y/o was unpacking kiwis and he kept saying “a potato, another potato, another potato”🥔 🥝

[lovingdread]

when trying to remember how the classic "Lord & Taylor" bit went, i found a couple other old jokes that made me laugh too

[dragon-above]

Spider Lords - The White Spider

At the end of the Age of Demons, the great alliance between the dragons and the spider lords was broken, and the Lords of False Presage scattered across the face of Eberron. The White Spider, named for the color of his skin, fled to the lonely mountains of Sarlona to the region now known as Adar. After laying in wait for hundreds of years, the White Spider crossed paths with the dragons once more. A blue dragon, a servant of the Prophecy, sought to kill the spider lord, but through superior cunning the White Spider prevailed, killing the dragon and taking shelter in its lair. Atop the great mountain rising above his enemy’s lair, the White Spider found an artifact of tremendous power, a Siberys observatory. With the weapon of the enemy in his hands, the White Spider studied the Ring of Siberys and the planes that surround Eberron, and after countless years the spider began to unlock the secrets of the Draconic Prophecy. Then came the kalashtar. The hermits of the mountains and valleys had never discovered the White Spider, but sightings in the Ring of Siberys told the spider lord he would need allies. Rumours of the powerful blue dragons atop the great peak of Korrandar worried the spider lord, and so he reached out to the spiritual settlers, albeit subtly. Whispers of a great seer spread across a small, nearby community, and soon they sent out an emissary named Kalavakri who became the White Spider’s eyes and ears among the Adarans. Using the new found knowledge of the Quori gathered from its contacts, the White Spider developed the psychic abilities of its own vast intellect. The White Spider has left his enemy’s tools behind, choosing instead to use the raw power of his mind to glimpse into the future. The White Spider despises the dragons and the vise they clamped around the free creatures of Eberron when their ancestors created the Prophecy. However, the spider lord refuses to let this hate cloud his judgment as he works for what he believes is a noble cause. Thousands of years in solitude has taught the White Spider to value the allies he can find, and unlike some of the other spider lords, he treats his followers with respect. Above all, the White Spider enjoys the irony of using the Prophecy to bring its own downfall. The White Spider’s allies are few and far between, and he has few contacts outside of the kalashtar and the other spider lords. His kalashtar followers are centered in a small mountain community approximately one day’s walk from his lair. Only one kalashtar is permitted to meet with the White Spider, a respected psion known as the Alakhal Ralath, or Herald of the Spider Lord. The current herald is Kathalkhad, an old telepath and priest of the Path of Light. The White Spider of Adar Spider Lord Diviner 6 / Seer 3 Huge Magical Beast Hit Dice: 16d10+48 plus 9d4+27 (185 hp) Initiative: +4 (+4 Dex) Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares), climb 30 ft. (6 squares) Armour Class: 18 (-2 size, +4 Dex, +6 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14 Base Attack/Grapple: +20/+37 Attack: Bite +27 melee (2d6+13 plus poison) Full Attack: Bite +27 melee (2d6+13 plus poison) Space/Reach: 15 ft./10 ft. Special Attacks: Poison, web, minions, hypnosis, spell-like abilities, spells, psionic powers Special Qualities: Darkvision 60ft., damage reduction 10/targath, low-light vision, tremorsense, nondetection, spell resistance 17 Saves: Fort +16, Ref +19, Will +19 Abilities: Str 29, Dex 18, Con 16, Int 24, Wis 22, Cha 22 Skills: Concentration +18, Diplomacy +25, Hide +15, Knowledge (Arcana) +19, Knowledge (History) +17, Knowledge (the Planes) +19, Knowledge (Psionics) +13, Listen +25, Move Silently +23, Psicraft +13, Sense Motive +25, Spot +25, Spellcraft +16, Speak Language (Quori) Feats: Die Hard, Dodge, Endurance, Extend Spell (B), Improved Counterspell, Lightning Reflexes, Mobility, Scribe Scroll (B), Spell Focus (Divination), Spring Attack ========================================= Environment: Any Organization: Solitary Challenge Rating: 22 Treasure: Double Standard Alignment: Lawful Good The White Spider speaks the language of the Spider Lords as well as Quori, Giant, Infernal and Draconic. Combat The White Spider prefers to fight from the shadows, using his spell-like abilities to conceal himself, then immobilizing his enemy with his web. He will then use either his poison or his hypnosis and remove the foe from his presence alive. The White Spider kills only when absolutely necessary, using its minions and evocations to be rid of the danger. Hypnosis (Su): A combination of the Spider Lord’s unusual language and subtle hypnotic patterns in its eyes allows it to seize the mind of weaker beings. This hypnosis is a full round action that provokes an attack of opportunity, and can affect all creatures within 30ft with up to half the HD of the Spider Lord. Affected creatures must succeed on a DC 23 Will save or be affected as if by a charm monster spell. In addition, affected creatures with less than 6 HD are subject to a daze effect. The save DC is Charisma-based. Poison (Ex): Injury, Fortitude DC 21, initial and secondary damage 2d6 Str. The save DC is Constitution-based. Minions (Ex): Tiny spiders are attracted to the lair of the Spider Lord, and using a hypnotic language the Spider Lord can call these spiders to swarm against its foes. Three times per day as a standard action, a Spider Lord can call 2d6 spider swarms to fight for it. The swarms gather in areas chosen by the Spider Lord on the Spider Lord’s next turn, but cannot be more than 60 feet from it. The spider swarms fight to the death unless otherwise instructed by the Spider Lord. Web (Ex): The Spider Lord often waits in a web suspended above its lair, then lowers themselves silently on silk strands and leap onto prey passing beneath. A single strand is strong enough to support the spider and one creature of the same size. The Spider Lord can also throw a web eight times per day. This is similar to an attack with a net but has a maximum range of 50 feet, with a range increment of 10 feet, and is effective against targets up to one size category larger than the Spider Lord. An entangled creature can escape with a successful Escape Artist check DC 21 or burst it with a Strength check DC 25. The check DCs are Constitution-based, and the Strength check DC includes a +4 racial bonus. The Spider Lord often creates sheets of sticky webbing from 5 to 50 feet square. They usually position these sheets to snare flying creatures but can also try to trap prey on the ground. Approaching creatures must succeed on a DC 20 Spot check to notice a web; otherwise they stumble into it and become trapped as though by a successful web attack. Attempts to escape or burst the webbing gain a +5 bonus if the trapped creature has something to walk on or grab while pulling free. Each 5-foot section has 14 hit points, and sheet webs have damage reduction 5/—. The Spider Lord can move across its own web at its climb speed and can pinpoint the location of any creature touching its web. Nondetection (Sp): The Spider Lord is subject to a permanent nondetection effect as the spell, except that no checks are allowed to bypass the effect. Spell-like Abilities:At will – message; 3/day – invisibility, darkness; 1/day – prying eyes, sending. Caster level 16th. The save DCs are Charisma-based. Spells: The White Spider casts spells as a 6th-level wizard specializing in divination, with necromancy as a prohibited school. Typical Wizard Spells Prepared (5|6|6|5; save DC = 17 + spell level): 0th - detect magic, prestidigitation, ghost sound, detect poison (s), mage hand; 1st - identify (s), shield, hypnotism, colour spray, silent image, mage armour; 2nd - Detect thoughts (s), touch of idiocy, scorching ray, mirror image, glitterdust, blur; 3rd - clairaundience/clairvoyance (s), hold person, lightning bolt, dispel magic, suggestion. Psionic Powers: The White Spider manifests powers as a psion (seer) of 3rd level. Psion Powers Known (power points 21, save DC 17 + power level): 1st – mind thrust, defensive precognition, offensive precognition, offensive prescience, sense link; 2nd – object reading, id insinuation. 

[reachingrachnius]

Silly joyful thing for 4 Adar א: whenever my 11 month old sees us washing our hands he will rub his hands together to mimic & when he sees us brushing our teeth he uses a finger to “brush” his own teeth. 🦷 🪥 🤚🏼 🧼 ❤️😊

[reachingrachnius]

Here’s a joyful thing for Adar:

Our 2.5 year old, Mo, heard someone say “Moshe rabbeinu” at some point and now he will sometimes call himself “Moshe volcano” 🌋

[reachingrachnius]

Joy for Adar - kugel & figured out “sabbath mode” on my oven finally

+ Mo finding out about the existence of Turnips

[reachingrachnius]

I’m so tired & Nothing goofy is coming to mind rn but here’s a baklava I made as my joyful post for the first of Adar

[reachingrachnius]

An amusing thing for 5 Adar א

It’s an interesting topic and I just like the author’s sense of humor.

“"Do you believe in dinosaurs?" he asked me in a hushed tone.

"No," I replied, surprised. "I believe in G-d."

I wasn't sure as to exactly which religion he belonged to (The New Age Temple of the Dinosaur Worshippers, perhaps?),but as far as I'm concerned, it's only G-d, and religious affairs, that are matters of belief. (And even with those, we're not talking about blind faith, but rather acknowledgment based on firm evidence and reasoning.)

Dinosaurs aren't a matter of belief. The fossils really exist; I own one myself.”

[reachingrachnius]

Silly thing for 3 Adar א: this morning the end of my tichel got adhered to my husband’s electric razor in the bathroom so I was unknowingly carrying it and kinda wondering what was so heavy back there, but too busy & hands too full to investigate the matter. when I got downstairs the razor fell to the floor and I was in the middle of being like “what Just happened” in my morning daze.

My 2 y/o just said “are you going to shave, mommy?”

[reachingrachnius]

60 day adar challenge

Post something joyful for each day of the two months of Adar. (can do two posts before or after Shabbos)

It should be silly, goofy, absurd, ridiculous, upside-down. Doesn’t have to be related to Judaism but that’s a plus.

I will try to do this but also I might get too busy. I will do my best!