#5llsmp fanfic

[hopepetal]

A little fanfic showing how I died :)

@stiffyck

--

The mines are not quiet, and Stiff is thankful for that. Zera has always liked to talk to fill the silence, and Stiff finds himself enjoying their company. It's nice, to have some noise other than the sound of crumbling stone and ores as Stiff pries precious materials from the earth with his pick.

Upon finding a mineshaft, Stiff calls Zera over- the avian rushing over to join him in lighting up and exploring the mineshaft.

"This place is enormous," Stiff calls, placing another torch down. He can hear Zera through the cave walls, taking comfort in knowing they aren't separated. "I'm going to get lost."

"Yeah- yeah, no, stay near me, okay? Stay in audible range- hearing range- what's the word..." Zera fumbles with speaking for a moment before giving up. "Yeah. Um." They gasp. "Stiff!" The sound of blocks breaking interrupts their voice.

Stiff's communicator buzzes, and he glances down to see Zera get the achievement 'Diamonds!' "Oh, you found diamonds?"

"C'mere!" Zera excitedly shows Stiff the diamonds, before pressing one into his hand. "I found two."

Stiff holds the diamond, somewhat in shock. "Oh- oh! Thank you! Thanks!"

Zera grins. "'course." They go back to mining, looking for more diamonds. Stiff turns and heads back the way he came.

Stiff rounds the corner and freezes. "Uh- Zera? I just..." He stares at the dark blue blocks growing on the stone. "I just found the deep dark."

Zera hurries over and stands beside Stiff, their hand tightening on their pickaxe. "It looks like just a few blocks..." They carefully step onto the sculk. "Uh... yeah, it's just a few blocks."

Stiff took a step forward, the heat from the lava pool the sculk grew over causing him to sweat. "Careful, okay? I think..." And he glances away for a moment, and that's all it takes.

Zera screams as they plunge into the lava, and Stiff cries their name, reaching out as they try to scramble from the pool and then-

...and then they're gone, and the mines are quiet.

[chemdisaster]

plucked @hopepetal's feathers. we're not okay

There’s blood on their claws. 

Panting heavily, Chem stares at the ground. Torn feathers cling to their hands and flutter down to rest beside their owner, standing out in a sick contrast against glowing gold.

The voices in their head are loud. Chem has never craved silence more. 

Stumbling away from the bird lying at their feet, they bend over and grip their head with their hands. Their forehead is throbbing, their vision fading in and out, and there's a cacophony of noise in their head—voices screaming at them to do something, to hurt—

(kill kill die blood blood drink their blood rip tear kill die die kill kill kill—)

“Shut—up—“

The voices don’t relent.

(why why why why did you kill them why did you do this to me why did you hurt why why why—)

“Shut up,” Chem begs desperately, claws digging into their scalp. The voices in their head telling them to kill, to hurt were bad enough, and now they’re hearing their old friends, just as if they were here in front of them, and it’s too much, too much, too much—

Useless, the voices say. Chem grabs their hair and pulls.

 

Zera’s quiet sobs are filling the air, but Chem can still hear their screams, can hear them begging for mercy, mercy, mercy please please, I surrender, please stop, stop please—

“My wings—"

"Shut up," Chem snaps. "Just, shut up."

They don't dare to look down.

"I'm not scared," they say out loud. Even they can taste the fear in their words. 

Aren't you? All you ever did was run. What makes this any different? Do you really think you could ever be anything but weak?

“I—they deserved this,” Chem spits, voice shaking. “They deserved this.”

They don’t know whom they’re trying to appease—themselves or the voices in their head that just won’t go away. 

(did they though? What are you trying to hide?)

The voices aren't listening. Looking down at the body below them, Chem repeats, “Yeah. Yeah, you hear that? You—you fucking deserved this, you did.”

The words coming out of their mouth might as well not be their own.

The voices are still talking, reminding them of every past that they've tried to forget—Chem can't take this. Friends and foes alike are insulting them, begging them to kill, to hurt, they won't go away, Chem did what they asked, why won't they go away, why won’t they leave them alone, leave me alone—

“I did it! I hurt!" Chem's breath hitches, "What more do you want from me?!”

Worthless.

Clawed hands come up to tug at brown feathers, leaving golden liquid trailing down already bloody hands. Something high-pitched showing through in their rapid inhales, Chem slowly lifts their head to look up at the sky. The sun is shining bright, and they want it gone.

“Are you happy now?!”

Pathetic.

Chem screams.

[space-apples]

ive done it again folks! made angst about when i laughed the hardest.

(@hopepetal )

“I’m cursed, Zera, you can’t—”

“I can.” Zera’s eyes turned purple, and Space never thought he’d be scared of them until this very moment. It was for a split second; Space’s fear dissipated as soon as it came, but it was long enough for Zera to notice.

Zera always saw everything, after all.

“I thought you said you’d do anything to survive,” he said, taking a small breath to calm themself down. Their tone was bitter, but Space didn’t care.

“I would, but why would I—” He lowered his voice, as if They wouldn’t be able to hear this conversation. They would. They always would. He mirrored Zera with his own sharp words. “Why would I want you to put yourself in danger, Zera? I— Honestly, I’m fucking fine with being red, and, you know, I’m feeling way less dizzy now.”

“You think you can lie to me, Space? Of all people— I literallycan see. Everything. It’s sickening.”

“I erm… hope you feel better soon.”

“Space.”

“What—? it was getting too serious for me,” he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “Last session I couldn’t crack one joke cause my head was too busy cracking itself open—”

“Space.”

“Zera.”

“It’s getting serious because I need you to take this seriously.”

“I am. I- I do,” he murmured, bringing themselves to talk how they would normally; loud, with a tint of fear, light enough to go unnoticed by almost everyone. “You know that just because they’re heartless monsters doesn’t mean you are.”

“…I know.”

“Do you?” At Zera’s silence, he switched gears, trying his best to keep them as safe as possible, even though he knew it was a lost cause. “I really, really, don’t want you to do this for me. They’re going to be angry, and— it doesn’t go well when they’re angry. For you and for me.”

They didn’t respond once again. Instead, they closed their eyes, and Space knew what was coming. Zera was too stubborn to back off, anyway.

He felt the life coming back with the warmth that started sprouting in his chest. It felt like a breath of fresh air, like he’d been stuck underwater and finally got pushed to the surface.

Red Life symptoms can consist of homicidal ideation, urges, and actions towards oneself and others. Is often sadistic and reckless. Their self preservation all depends on the individual, but most of the time, it becomes much smaller. Affiliations with such people is a cautionary tale at best.

Space wasn’t red anymore, thanks to Zera, but he couldn’t bring himself up to look at the admin.

“Thank you, Watcher Zera.” Xiara. “Say hi to Jay for me.”

He didn’t hear a response, nor did he notice the full body flinch of his friend. Space finally turned around, only to find that he was now alone in the caves.

-

“Open the door, open the door, open the door now.” Space’s breath was shaky, his body racked with terror. He was so close to death, and there was a husk right behind him, there was a husk right behind him, there was a husk right behind him.

The bottom cobblestone block broke, and he ran inside, crashing into the rest of the sillies confused and concerned faces.

“Want some enrichment?” Elle said, offering some in the form of bamboo. Her eyes sparkled concern, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to.

Space took the bamboo, smiling softly before hearing the groans of desert zombies and the rattling bones of skeletons.

“The husks, they’re— they—“ Space took a breath. “—killed me before.”

“It’s true,” Wilm whispered, as if they all didn’t see the death message on their comn. “I was there.”

Space was given cooked rabbit, he didn’t know from who (Brandy had slaughtered so many rabbits, it was probably them), but now they all were out of food.

Unfortunately Elle’s enrichment bamboo could not keep them fed.

This was stupid. Space was stupid. It was just a husk, he’ll be fine to just kill some stupid rabbits. It was fine. There was no reason to be scared of anything.

A husk appeared out of nowhere. He screamed, agony filling his chest the same way Zera had given him life before. The cruel irony of yet again being killed by the same undead creature, but this time he didn’t have the excuse of a migraine, was sick.

Zera had given Space a gift. But as everyone should know, throwing something into the void was wasteful. Space wasn’t just space, he was Empty Space, quite similar to the void. Cursed to forever take, cursed to forever lose.

Space knew that to the Watcher’s above that it was entertaining, and he could hear their laughter echoing in his ears.

[stiffyck]

Stiff I just impulsively wrote a drabble about my friend and I's minecraft characters, and i fully blame you and the 5llsmp crew. Its not even a super big thing, its just my little allay man getting over excited about moss (it also has our naming convention for allays, where we call them the name of whatever block they are holding. It's really cute).

dkasufdhskauf live your dream

honestly seeing the writers write fanfic of our life series and drawing stuff for it is so fun i love it

[space-apples]

@hopepetal and @happy-hermit are involved in this post, but others have been mentioned.

context: zera is an eight year old prince, and jay is the new ruler of the kingdom. jay’s married to stiff there’s also magic, and space can read auras. it isn’t actual aura reading like irl, so take everything with a grain of salt lol. that’s all you need and that’s all i’m willing to give <3. skskjdodjs hope you enjoy <3

if i write more i’ll explain zera and jay’s aura in more depth lol

-

Space, like usual, had no idea what was going on. Their ruler was in the gardens, glaring at the pristine manicured rose bushes as if they personally betrayed her. Normally, this wouldn’t have bothered Space. Rose bushes hurt to run into, and he should know. What was strange was that neither Stiff nor Zera was in sight. Jay was normally not without the two, ever since— Well— things happened, and they had returned from the war. He couldn’t blame them, really. Jay never expected to become ruler so early.

None of them did. Jay had become one of the youngest rulers in history, yet no one batted a goddamn eye. She was a good, reliable ruler. Maybe that’s why Space’s heart hurt as much as it did. It wasn’t like Jay was twelve, but they were so young.

He didn’t know where Stiff was, but Zera was in their room. The tell-tale sign was the sniveling, the yellow aura emanating even from behind the door. This, too, was strange. Zera was crying. Alone. Jay was not with them, Stiff was no where to be seen.

He knocked gently, and the quiet sobs were immediately brought to a stand still.

“Go away, Jay, I don’t— I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Lucky for you, then,” Space said softly. “‘s just me.”

“…Space?”

Their aura sparked. Orange, blue, orange, red, red, red.

“The one and only! Well— technically there’s a whole lot of space, but—”

“I don’t wanna joke right now.”

“Okay.” Space frowned, but accepted the request nonetheless. “Okay, kid, that’s alright. Serious talk time. Could you let me in?”

Silence. Then the small pitter-patter of footsteps. Then the rustling of a doorknob. Then the door tentatively opening.

Zera wouldn’t look up at Space, instead, their gaze was aimed at the floor as if he was ashamed. Only a few moments later, Space was holding one of Zera’s bee plushies.

“Jay’s gonna leave soon, I think,” they blurted, shrinking into themself. “They love Stiff now and they don’t need me anymore.”

“I’m sure that isn’t true.”

“It is! It is! They’re gonna go and they’re gonna leave me like everyone else.”

“Well,” Space started. “Have I left you?”

“…No,” Zera admitted, his aura spiking green, orange, green, red, green, red, red, so much red. “But you almost did. And it was cause of me.”

Oh. Oh dear. Oh dear.

“Kiddo—”

“It was my fault!” Red, orange. “It was my fault and you don’t even know it!” Green, red, yellow, red. “You’re saying it’s okay when it isn’t! I don’t deserve it, and Jay—”

“Kiddo, you know I don’t normally like interrupting you, but please, hear me out, okay?” There wasn’t normally this much red in their aura. The red barely ever overpowered the yellow.

From outside the door, Space could sense the green and black warm aura, but he didn’t pay attention to it. This was more important.

Zera nodded, albeit hesitantly, and Space continued. “Remember what I said about the bad men?” He shook his head. “That’s alright, I’ll repeat it. The bad men didn’t care if you were the best or the worst, and they didn’t care if I was the best or the worst. They just wanted to hurt people to hurt them.”

“They hurt me, firefly. Not you. This wasn’t your fault, okay?” Zera’s frown grew, and Space quickly carried on. “And even if you were bad, which you’re not, who says bad people don’t deserve love either? You don’t need to be worthy to be lovable, kiddo.”

“But—”

“Again, your highness, you know I don’t like interrupting, but I want you to listen to what I’m saying, yea?” Another nod. Spikes of blue, green, blue, red, red, yellow. “You don’t have to believe me, but I urge you to consider it. You do not need to be worthy to be loved. And Jay? Jay’s heart is so so big, kiddo. It holds the kingdom and all the people in it. Stiff, Bee, me you— especially you.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door. The aura from before— dark green, black, splashes of what could only be described as warmth. Jay.

“It’s your sibling,” he whispered. “Can I let them in?”

Zera fidgeted with the bottom of his shirt. Red, red, yellow, purple. Instead of nodding, the prince got out of his bed, and apprehensively opened the door themself.

“Zera, I came to apologize to you,” she said immediately. Their eyes spiked in nervousness, in fear, in regret. Bending down to Zera’s height, her words became ever more soft. “You’re growing bigger. And I— well I didn’t think you’d want me around as much. I suppose I just thought because of what—”

“Please, I don’t want you to leave, Blue Jay,” Zera said. “Please stay, please stay.”

“Oh, love.” Jay wrapped their arms around her little sibling. “I wasn’t going to leave you, I was just— trying to give you some room to breathe.”

“So you— so you still love me?” Zera asked desperately, his voice trembling.

“I could never stop.”

Zera sobbed, and Jay could only hold him tighter. And Space— well, Space felt like he was intruding. So he tried to quietly get out of the room, doing his best to scooch out and back into the hallway. Before he could reach the door, a hand grabbed his arm, pulling him into the hug that he definitely didn’t think he should be a part of.

But it was nice, so he didn’t pull away. Zera’s aura (yellow, orange, blue, yellow, yellow, yellow) entangled with Jay’s (dark green and black shouldn’t have been as warm as it was, but Jay was living proof that it was possible).

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

Zera had basically fallen asleep in their bed, and Space couldn’t help but sigh fondly at the peaceful deep breathing the kid had started doing.

“Thank you.”

It was so random, so sudden that Space jerked back.

“For— For what, Your Majesty?”

“I think you know,” she said, smiling gratefully. “I— I heard what you were saying before, and just— thank you.”

“It— I mean— it wasn’t a problem. Zera’s a good kid.”

“He is.”

After a little while, Space leaves Jay alone in Zera’s room, turning left in order to go back to the knight barracks.

He was supposed to go to the right, and he came back a while later, itching his head, quite confused. Sheepishly asking Jay how to get back, she narrowed their eyes.

“I think it’s right.”

“Yea, I thought I went the right way, too.”

“No— Space—”

It took a bit longer to actually get back, to say the least. How Space managed to know so much emotional intelligence, yet still doesn’t know his left and rights will never not be a mystery.

[chemdisaster]

@stiffyck is refusing to leave the lads for me, the best marriage partner in the polycule. they will eventually ❤

"You know they're going to betray you, right?"

Stiff shivers. Chem circles them slowly, trailing a finger down their cheek, and purrs into their ear, "You can't trust them."

The cadence of their voice sends sparks down Stiff's back, and they force themselves to straighten up.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

They pretend that they don’t waver as they stare down their partner, but Chem only raises their brows, "Don't I?"

They grin, and suddenly Stiff is reminded that harpy eagles are, first and foremost, predators.

"What if I told you that it wasn't Melou who warned Star?"

Stiff's heart skips a beat.

"What—what do you mean?"

"Well," Chem drawls, looking away with a self-satisfied smirk, "you and I both know that Melou has no real loyalty to anyone—and wouldn't it be wonderful to have a green friend?"

There is no mirth in their smile. Chem spreads their fingers, dim light glints off—and oh, their claws are sharp.

"What are you suggesting," Stiff forces out through gritted teeth, trying to swallow down the sudden influx of fear.

"Nothing, nothing, just...what do you think will happen when every blue life outside of the valley runs out? Where do you think the bloodlust will turn then? Especially considering those...ah, urges of yours."

Ice shoots through Stiff's chest. Backlit by the moon, Chem looks terrifying, and Stiff shouldn't be afraid of being alone with someone they married, but right now it doesn't look like their partner is coming to save them from the monsters under the bed any time soon.

"You don't know," they repeat, voice quivering, "what you're talking about."

"Oh, but I'm sure Bee and Moth know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you think?"

Stumbling away until their back hits a nearby tree, Stiff suddenly understands—their partner is the monster under the bed.

They've married a death sentence.

"Blues stay with blues, after all," Chem sing-songs, "and reds stay with reds..." Abruptly, their tone drops, "what makes you think this is going to be any different?"

A claw drags its way up Stiff's arm and they gasp.

"Chem, I—" the claw twists, they whimper, "—I'm getting tired of these games."

Chem laughs a high-pitched giggle, "Oh, no, no—no games here. Just something to think about."

They let Stiff go, Stiff staggers forward and bends over. Gripping their knees with their hands, they're very aware of being watched, but the eyes on them bring no comfort. They need to make a decision. Now.

Meeting Chem’s mocking expression, Stiff sets their shoulders and lets conviction colour their words.

"I'm not leaving the Lads. Never."

The corner of Chem's mouth snaps downwards, something dark settling into the lines marking their face.

"Sure. Tell yourself that."

With a rustle of leaves, they disappear.

Trembling, Stiff brings a hand up to their chest. The jungle is silent, save for their quiet panting as they try to catch their breath. Exhaling heavily, they step back and let their head fall against the tree behind them, closing their eyes as they will their hands to stop shaking.

Chem is very obviously trying to manipulate them. Stiff hates that they seem like someone who would fall for it. They hate that it's working.

They don't go back to the valley for a while.

[chemdisaster]

so...i died. and, like a fool, accidentally pulled the cord of my computer, thus destroying all the footage.

but of course, what matters most is the good times i had while playing on 5llsmp. so in honour of that, i've written a little fic about chem dealing with the aftermath of their death and everything they did to get to that point.

i died to a warden btw. stiff's warden. thank you stiff ❤

None of it matters in the end. 

In the end, they die alone. 

They die, and their body disappears with them.

They die, and the enchanter is cold in their inventory. 

They die, and they die for nothing. 

Somewhere far away, a red poppy is placed down with shaking hands. 

Chem dies, and the world moves on. 

.

.

.

.

.

After it all, everyone hugs.

Chem doesn't join in. They've never really liked hugs, and that's what they try to tell themselves as they watch all the other members of the death game embrace. Tearful words being exchanged, all grudges are forgotten in favour of reunion and forgiveness.

Not for Chem. Never them. 

The feathers they give to every single person are an apology and a promise to do better. Melou burns his, but that is to be expected. Stiff nods and tucks the feather in their pocket, and they don't say a word.

Zera throws it in their face. Chem doesn't blame them. A ways away from everyone else, they sit on cold stone and dwell on their mistakes. 

The enchanter did nothing for them in the end. 

Neither friends, nor resources mean a thing in the face of a sonically-charged shriek. Death waits for no one, and Chem is special only in that they're a fool. They had the opportunity to make the most of being trapped by inevitability, and they dug themselves in a deeper hole instead. 

A pit. 

They were always going to end up alone, weren't they?

The voices are gone. It's just them and their own thoughts now. Chem has never hated silence more. 

Caught up in their woeful musings, they almost don't notice when Star sits down next to them, turning a brown feather over in their hands. 

Chem doesn't say anything, continuing to trace vague shapes in the stone with their eyes. Star doesn't leave, but does not break the quiet, either. 

Eventually, Chem sighs.

“I can’t cry, you know."

No response. For the first time, they look up, and there's a bitter kind of honesty in their voice when they carry on, "You can’t hug me and make it all better.”

Star gazes at the scene in front of them for a moment, then smiles. 

“I can try.”

Chem's breath stutters. They glance at them and the sincerity in their expression causes something raw and vulnerable to make a home in their chest. 

They can't cry, but their voice cracks anyway as they ask, "Why are you still here?"

Star meets their eyes. A flower crown of red poppies rests atop their head. 

"We're friends."

Suddenly, it feels like maybe the dried blood on Chem's upper arms wasn't for nothing. Shuddering, clawed fingers running over patches where majestic feathers used to be, their head drops. 

Star gets them. Star gets them and Star is still here and if they look far enough away, they fancy that they can almost see one of their many cracks start to fill with gold. 

Chem does not touch Star. But they do move closer to them. And they think that maybe they get that, too.

[chemdisaster]

was having an rsd episode, so i wrote another 5ll chem fanfic to feel better. apparently, plucking someone's feathers takes a toll on your mental health. who'd've thought

Pluck. 

No one likes them. 

An immature phrase, to be sure, but Chem doesn't know how else to describe their current state. 

When the excitement of a chase and the disappointment of a failed murder fell away, everyone returned to their bases to regroup and lick their wounds. Peace fell over the server. Chem was left alone. 

Well, not entirely alone. 

Pluck. 

Ripping out all of Zera's feathers, they were hoping that that would make the voices go quiet. After all, they asked for pain, and Chem gave them pain. They gave them pain and they gave them screams and that should have been enough. 

It didn't become quiet until the blood dripping off their fingers became their own.

 

Pluck.

Leaning against the wall of their Pits, Chem lets the warmth of the enchanter lull them into a superficial sense of calm. Voices gone, the situation they find themselves in is almost familiar, and they can't help but think back to their first week in this world.

 

Showing up to the world ready to take on all its horrors, confident that they were going to survive and thrive—Chem was never anything but a fool. 

Still, they hoped.

Now, however, having driven everyone away beyond repair, having hurt and been hurt, that first realisation rings all the more true. 

They're all alone. 

No one likes them. 

Pluck. 

Is there any point in trying? In continuing to lie to yourself when all it does is push away the very people you're trying to keep close, pretending that being told by your very thoughts that you're going to die unless you step on someone else's neck first is okay—

No. No there isn't. 

Pluck. 

The sound of laughter reaches their ears and Chem looks up. 

Somewhere above them, their neighbours are having fun—carefree, unplagued by memories and whispers that just won't go away. There's people there, and not a single one of them cares about Chem, not a single person on this entire fucking server does, they might as well just become red right now and end their misery—

Stiff is there.

Stiff doesn't care, either. They don't care, no one cares, no one cares—

Chem looks back down and viciously grabs another handful of feathers. 

Pluck. 

[hopepetal]

This was something I wrote after the first session after talking with @periwinklemoonlight about her red life skin, and she said that it would be funny if she was just seven feet tall lol. This is 100% noncanon but it is very fun.

Warnings for blood, violence, death, gore, Elle has a #girlboss moment

--

Jay, I'm going to go meet with Elle. She said she wanted to talk to me. Zera sent the whisper to Jay on their communicator, gripping their diamond sword in their other hand. They... were afraid, if they were being perfectly honest. The red giantess was scary, and their wings twitched apprehensively at the thought of going alone. But they refused to put their bluejay in danger just because they were afraid.

Their communicator buzzed; a sure message from Jay telling them to be careful, maybe even asking if they needed help. Zera elected to ignore it for now. They'd be back home soon anyway. Sure, it was probably bad to go meet a red alone, but Zera had weapons! They had armor and a shield! They'd be fine!

...and a not-so-small part of them still trusted Elle. Zera didn't want to believe that Elle was bad, that she had changed upon becoming red. Elle wasn't like everyone else. She was strong, and passionate, and kind and she was their friend, for goodness sakes! Zera just couldn't imagine her being like one of the other reds. They refused to.

It wasn't a short walk to spawn, not in the slightest. Zera was... directionally challenged, having never learned how to use coordinates. Compasses were easier, but they hadn't exactly had time to make one, let alone connect it to a lodestone. They'd been a little busy with not dying and keeping Jay safe. Still, they eventually made it to spawn, slightly proud of themselves for not using their admin abilities to see their way there.

Elle stood in the middle of that bedrock circle, one hand on her giant ax. The white blade seemed to glisten sickeningly in the light, and Zera had a sinking feeling that it wasn't made of iron. She had changed from her yellow dress to a floor length, elegant red gown that made Zera feel quite under dressed in that moment. But they supposed they had never been one for fashion, and with a shrug, stepped forward out of the forest. "Elle?"

The red name immediately turned, moving as though she was going to pull out her ax. Thankfully she didn't, but the tension didn't ease as the two stared at each other, hesitant to move first. Zera's hand was still tightly holding their shield, because for all that they trusted Elle this was still a death game and if Pearl had taught them anything it was to trust no one-

But you're not Pearl, a small voice echoed in the back of their mind, and Elle isn't like... them.

That little voice was what let Zera calm down, and they gave Elle an uneasy smile as they straightened, forcing their feathers to lie down flat. "Sorry about that. Did I startle you?" They hated how forced the casual tone in their voice was. What had made them this way, so quick to lose trust and forget friendships?

Elle seemed to relax as well, as much as a red life could, at least. She laughed, though the amusement didn't quite reach her eyes. They were a very pretty scarlet, Zera noted. In a horrifying sort of way, red suited Elle. At least she could be murderous in a colour that looked good on her. "A little. I have to be more careful now that I'm red, you know. One slip-up and I'm out for good."

Zera let out a soft breath, nodding. "Yeah, I get it. One of the uh, the Valley Lads went red. And Jay and I watched the whole thing from a distance." It had been a little heartbreaking, Zera couldn't lie. To watch an alliance- no, it was a family- be nearly torn apart by one unfortunate death. Despite their mixed feelings on the Lads of the Valley, Zera wouldn't wish that on anyone. "I think they're doing alright now," they recalled, "just a little shaky."

Jay was nervous as well, given that the Lads were their next door neighbors. They weren't really well-equipped to handle four people if the red of the team decided to target them. But they'd made plans, and knew what to do if the worst came to pass. All that was left now was hoping the worst wouldn't happen.

"Mm." Elle examined her fingernails, picking some dirt out from under them. Her tail flicked lazily back and forth. "Yeah, that's bound to happen when someone goes red. It all goes to-" She mimicked the sound of an explosion. "Well. You know how reds are." The smile she gave Zera was... unsettling. They shifted anxiously.

"So..." Zera glanced up at the giantess, "was there something you needed? I know you said you wanted to talk to me, but you didn't say what about." They laughed, nervousness bringing their voice up in pitch. "I trust you," they hurried to clarify, "it's just... I need to get back home soon."

Home. That was a strange word, for something that so clearly wasn't a home. It was more a hastily constructed base than anything, something Jay and Zera made at the start of the game and added more onto as time went on. They had a little area where they slept and kept everything, but it didn't feel lived in. It didn't feel like home. It was not safe. It was barely secure. It offered a fleeting promise of temporary sanctuary.

This entire server felt dead. And honestly, Zera wasn't surprised. No one here was really living. They were all half dead already, with how they resigned themselves to having one foot in the grave. But that was how death games worked. You survived, you fought, you killed, and you died. That was simply how it was meant to be.

"Oh, right!" Elle stepped forward, and Zera noticed the sort of maniac glint in her eyes. She put a hand on their shoulder, smiling down at the avian. "I was just wondering what you thought of my outfit? It's such a gorgeous piece, isn't it? I made it myself."

Zera let out a shaky breath, not wanting to shake Elle's hand off and be seen as rude. Was that really all she wanted to know? Their opinion on her outfit? Something felt very, very wrong, and Zera couldn't put a finger on it. They supposed they'd answer Elle's question, at least. "It's very pretty," they truthfully admitted, "You did an amazing job. It looks really nice on you."

Elle took a step back, taking her hand off of Zera's shoulder. She gave a little twirl, giggling softly. "Oh, thank you! I've always been a fan of the colour red, even if purple is my go-to. I'm so happy with how it came out... but I do think it's missing a little something."

Zera frowned, confused. It sounded like Elle was trying to imply something, but whatever it was went straight over their head. "Well, I don't really have an eye for fashion, Elle. This should be kinda obvious..." They awkwardly lifted their arms a little in a shrugging sort of motion. "I think it looks fine! Really, I don't think it's missing anything."

Elle hummed softly, the slight smile remaining on her face. "No, I think you're wrong. It's missing a bit of... flair."

Zera is not fast. They never have been on the ground. Their legs were too weak to carry them far, and running was practically impossible. Elle, on the other hand, has both the speed and strength advantage she needs to pin Zera to the ground by the throat.

Zera kicked frantically, their wings trapped painfully beneath them as they flapped in a wild, desperate panic. "Elle-" they gasped out, their heart skipping- once, twice, an uneven pulsing rhythm. "Elle, please don't do this-" They could barely even beg between gasps, struggling for air as tears began to form in their green eyes.

"You know why I called you?" Elle asked, an air of casualness around her as though she were discussing the weather. "Because no one else is as stupid as you are, to meet a red alone. You're too obsessed with your silly little bluejay-" Her voice took on a mocking tone with the word, and she leaned forward, her hair cascading over her shoulders. "-that you just forget how much danger you're actually in."

"You don't have to do this," Zera pleaded, "Please, Elle, we can talk about this! We're friends! We-" They splutter to a halt when Elle tightened her grip on their throat, cutting off most of their air. Their hands shot up to claw at Elle's arm, but the red life didn't seem to care about the angry marks left by Zera's nails.

"Don't you remember what happens when you become red?" Elle practically growled out, eyes shining. "All previous relationships mean nothing. Alliances are shattered. You only want one thing." She pulled out her ax, resting the sharp blade right on top of Zera's chest. "You want to kill."

Elle cut, and Zera screamed. It was eternity, it was too quick to process. It was agony, it was the creeping numbness that heralded the coming of death. It was blood, spilling out of Zera's chest and trickling from the corner of their mouth. It was red, red names red lives red hearts red blood red eyes, eyes shining with a thirst only blood could quench. It was hot tears streaming down Zera's face as their voice gave out from the screaming, it was hot blood pooling beneath them and spreading across the ground and-

Zera did not want to live in the same world as Elle.

In the end, their heart gave out before they died of blood loss, and Zera woke up at their base screaming. The pain wasn't fading, their clothes soaked with blood that stuck to their skin and their hair and it was all around them they could feel it-

"Zera! Zera, please, please calm down, it's okay, take deep breaths- Zera-" Jay. That was Jay. She sounded so frantic, so concerned, and when Zera opened their eyes they could just make out her blurry form standing a little bit away from where they were. "Zera? Are you..."

Zera went quiet, though their breaths still came in short pants and gasps. "Jay," they keened, a desperate cry for aid that just barely reached a whisper. "Jay, I'm so sorry."

"No, no, Zera... can I come closer?" Jay took a few steps closer, blue eyes teary. "Zera, I'm so sorry I let you go alone, I shouldn't have... gods, I'm so sorry. You have nothing to apologize for, it wasn't your fault..."

"I'm yellow now," Zera mumbled, a dull numbness creeping over them, "I'm yellow. If I die again- if I-" They took in a shuddering breath. "I'll be red. I can't..."

"May I hug you?" Jay asked, and wrapped their arms carefully around Zera when they nodded. "Oh, Zera... it's gonna be okay. We'll figure something out, alright? Don't you worry." She gave them a gentle smile, brushing the back of her hand against their cheek. "Boatem birds for life, right?"

Zera sniffled, nodding. "...boatem birds for life."

[hopepetal]

Some more writing, set during and immediately after the boogie kill :< this one has two endings because SOMEONE (@evenmoreevil ) was indecisive

@happy-hermit @melouthechalk

It wasn't going to last forever.

Zera would've been delusional if they had thought it was. Them and their bluejay, against the world? Ha. They couldn't even save themselves from falling into lava. They couldn't even protect themselves from the Watchers who kept a tight grip over their very life. Their heart, which beat erratically in their chest, was a clear statement of what they risked with every teleport and every use of their magic.

And yet... and yet...

There was something off about Melou. About the magic that warped around the blue life and seemed to corrupt their very being. It was powerful, so much so that Zera could see it without even having to open their other eyes. It didn't look like anyone else could, though, judging by the ease in which the lads welcomed the cursed individual into their home.

It made them panic when Jay got closer, their cries as Melou drew their bow going unnoticed by the blue name. Zera frantically drew their own bow, finding they were out of arrows anyway. Going to draw their sword, Zera didn't notice that Melou aimed the bow towards them, and then-

Thunk.

The arrow buried itself in Zera's side, and they screamed Jay's name as they fell, pain shooting through their body as they yanked the arrow out in a panic, watching as glistening gold blood stained the ground. They were only able to stare at it for a moment before they realized Jay, Jay was getting attacked by Melou.

With a cry, Zera ran after Melou and Jay, drawing their sword and pushing themselves to go as fast as they could, their legs aching and threatening dislocation. "No! No, Jay, run!" Zera shouted, "go, go, please-!"

Something slammed into them from behind, and Zera tumbled to the stone, their blood staining their clothes as they were pinned down on their back by Moth, who smiled down at them with a sick sort of glee. "Sorry, but Melou's our ally."

"No!" Zera's cry tore from their throat, tears hot and desperate pouring down their face. "No, no, please, Jay! Jay, run! Jay!" Their breaths came in panicked desperation as their heart beat erratically, faster and faster and they were seeing stars in Moth's blue eyes that were the blue of the sky and the seas and they were the same blue as Jay's and Jay was running Jay was running Jay was dying-

Jay was slain by Melou.

Zera's scream rang with aching grief, and they desperately fought to stand as they wailed Jay's name- or something that was meant to be Jay's name, as the cry was choked off by a sob as they devolved into a full on panic attack, clinging onto the only other person who was near in a desperate search for something to ground them. "No! No, no, no! Jay! No!"

Ending part one!

With a snort, Moth pushed them away and stepped back. "Come on, Zera. She's just on green now. It's not like she's dead. Get a hold of yourself."

Those words didn't even reach the teen, who desperately gripped their own hair and tugged as they began to rock, crying in pain and grief as their blood, golden and glistening, continued to seep from their wound.

Zera was left with their grief and their failures, alone on the mountain.

Ending part two!

To their surprise, gentle arms wrapped around them, pulling them close. "Shh. Shh, it's alright. Deep breaths, okay? Count with me. One, two, three... out, two three..." Moth took a deep breath, his exhale blowing soft and warm against Zera's hair. They followed suit, wings wrapping around them both as their arms wrapped around Moth's neck. They sobbed softly, burying their face against Moth's chest. "Good. Good. I'm proud of you. Can you take some more for me?"

Zera only weakly sobbed, nodding slightly as they tried to inhale deeply again. Their breath cut out into a wet sob of pain and grief, the feeling of their blood sticky against their clothing. "Jay... Jay died... why? Why didn't you let me die? Why didn't you kill me?" they sobbed, and Moth gently rubbed their back below their wings in a soothing motion.

"I want to kill you myself, sugar. And besides, Jay's on blue." His voice was soft, comforting, as if he weren't explaining something so horrible. "Killing you would've put you on yellow."

Zera just sobbed harder, tears clinging to their eyelashes. "No..."

[hopepetal]

Some writing I did immediately after the session ended!

@stiffyck @evenmoreevil

“Come on,” Stiff cooed, and the tone of his voice made Zera shudder. “I just want food. Give me some food, and I'll leave you alone.”

Zera was shaking, their hands trembling with each breath they took. They had done away with their two lower arms for now– didn't need them, so hidden under magic they went. Their knuckles were bone white with how hard they were gripping their shield. “Please don't kill me,” they whispered, the wind carrying their voice to the two lads standing across from them. “Please. Please, I don't want to die.”

“You won't!” Stiff chirped. “Just give me food.” He took a step forward, his iron sword gleaming with magic. Zera would know what the enchantments were if they just Looked– but they had already gotten a warning from Them. They couldn't risk it.

“I have–” Zera checked their inventory and mentally cursed. They had just eaten their last piece of melon, and had nothing to give. Their heart began to beat faster, stuttering in its irregular rhythm. “Um, I have, I have cows! I can show you where there are cows, they're hidden and alive and you can breed them and kill them!” They had promised Jay to keep the cows safe, but they didn't want to die.

Stiff thought for a moment, and then he smiled at them. “No.” The refusal made Zera's heart sink into their chest. “I want food now.” He licked his lips, and something about that– something made Zera feel so deeply afraid. They let out an involuntary whimper, and Moth laughed.

“We are quite hungry,” the blue chimed in, giving Zera an appraising look. “Food would be nice. You should listen to him.”

Zera practically sobbed. “I don't– I don't...” They opened their inventory again. “I have wheat! Here!” They almost dropped the bundles of wheat as they pulled it from their inventory. “Wheat! You can use it to make bread! Please!”

Stiff looked disappointed, if only for a moment. “...alright.” He took the wheat. “We'll leave you. For now.” He began to walk away, Moth following. Zera caught sight of Bee at the top of the cliff, looking down at them. “But don't get used to it!” Stiff called over his shoulder.

[hopepetal]

Wip that I don't think I'll finish

Jay was dead.

That was a fact that Zera knew, had to accept, something they knew was their fault entirely. They had failed, they had promised to protect her, and she had died. She had died while they had screamed and fought against hands that both held them down and held them close, that had been both rough and comforting. They had gazed into eyes the same blue as the sea and skies as Jay's eyes turned green, as they lost a life to the cursed one with the sword.

Another fact Zera knew was that they were bleeding, gold sluggishly seeping from the arrow wound in their side. They cursed themselves for pulling out the arrow– wasn't that the literal first thing they had been taught back in that snowy world, where only the undead roamed the streets? In the heat of the moment, they had forgotten. And Jay had died because of them and their failures.

Climbing back up into the tower was a nightmare, with legs that were still aching from their fall earlier and the wound that just kept bleeding. There was a trail of blood left behind them as they shakily pulled themselves up the ladder, whimpering and panting from the exertion and pain. When they reached the top, however, they didn't see Jay nor the beds that they had spent so long making the other day. It took a moment for them to realize that the lads must've taken the beds earlier. Which meant Jay was at spawn.

Which meant Zera was alone.

[hopepetal]

The fact that I can't go scrolling through the 5llsmp tag for hours giggling over art and fanfic and headcanons is a crime