#5. and my pet interest: going full-tilt down the rabbit hole of all of the ways IVF and artificial wombs can be used for evil

[cultivating-wildflowers]

What do you think of the pro life families who used IVF?

(sorry it took me a while to answer this. I had to sit on it for a spell and decide how detailed I wanted to get in my answer, and then that other ask popped up yesterday and I guess I'm in the mood to talk now)

I'll start by saying I have no intention of vilifying either the well-intentioned couples who have pursued IVF in the past or the many people who were conceived via IVF. It's a complex issue and there are a lot of emotions involved. I am in no way an expert on the subject and honestly, sometimes my answer is just "I don't know".

That said, I'm generally with the Catholics on this one. If a couple truly is pro-life and believes life begins at conception, and if they have been responsible and done their research, then they absolutely should not utilize IVF. Yes, even if they are as thorough as can be and don't allow for "extra" embryos to be created. (Not to dig out my tinfoil hat here, but who's to say the IVF clinic people would even bother to respect their wishes? We all know the total lack of transparency surrounding egg and sperm donation, donor conception, IVF, and surrogacy. We all know the horrible things that have happened behind closed doors. Do not get me started on egg and sperm donation.)

IVF in general, like surrogacy, needs to be done away with, not least because it would (hopefully) force doctors to actually address fertility issues instead. It's a horrible, predatory practice that creates so many victims and is the definition of unethical. It is way too easy to abuse. Children and families deserve better.

If your question is more about couples who have used IVF in the past and...moved on?...with their lives? That's where I move into "I personally don't know" territory. My heart says they still have a responsibility to any embryos--any of their children--who were left behind. Full transparency: I don't know what that looks like, realistically. There are a lot of factors at play. And I have no doubt that addressing this would uncover a lot of horrible secrets people do not want to acknowledge.

One hypothetical solution of late has been artificial wombs but, again, that could be a solution that solves one problem and creates a dozen more. If I think surrogacy and IVF are predatory and abusive, I can't even begin to name all of the ways artificial wombs could be used for horrible purposes.

From this point, if the next question is, "So you think couples who can't conceive naturally shouldn't try other ways to have biological kids?" my answer is "Yes." I don't mean to be harsh, but yes, if they honestly have no other options, if they have pursued every other route and they all lead to dead ends, then I'm sorry, but they have to accept that biological children are not in the cards for them. It's not the end of the world, though I know it can feel like it. Infertility is a horrible situation. I hate it. But--and knowing this sounds cold-hearted--that's life. There are places to go from here (and I do not mean the donor-conceived route). Heck, look into embryo adoption!