#5. I didn't even get time to look at and fully appreciate the other art that was there

[shanedoesdoodles]

I can't believe I chose to go to a school artshow over Six Flags that shit fucking sucked.

I think I would've preferred that sensory overload over the one I got there

[yourelliewillms]

the guy from the record

store wasn't a guy?

ellie williams fanfic

━━ chapter 1 wc: 1.9k

read the chapters here !!

you've recently discovered this record shop, the perfect place to find everything of the new kind of music you've just gotten into, rock. your friends wouldn't share this interest with you but maybe the cute guy from the store will.

━━ he/him pronous are used for ellie sometimes but it's for plot purposes i swear !!

BASED ON THE GUY SHE WAS INTERESTED IN WASN'T A GUY AT ALL !!!! i love that manga so much i needed an ellie version so i did it myself. of course this is going to be shorter and pleeaase go read it i swear you won't regret it <3 i hardly recommend you to listen to the manga's playlist too, i'll add some of the songs to this fanfic. literally all i want is my lesbians to have the recognition they deserve. ALSO green is the characteristic color of that manga so i'll be using it here too, everything will be green bc we love green lesbians.

another warning, english is not my first language so you may find some mistakes.

it's been a long day at school but at least the week of exams has ended and you've done pretty good. "i deserve a prize" you think to yourself while your feet guide you out of the building. certainly the exams drained you, the only thing you want to do now is take a long nap to catch up on sleep.

walking down the sidewalk, you put on your headphones which have been your best friends for the last few months when you discovered this band nirvana. it is in fact a popular band but in your friend group? no, not at all. your friends prefer other kind of music. pop, kpop, even jazz, but rock? impossible.

so you find yourself unable to share your new music taste with your friends. even if you beg them to give it a chance, they'll refuse it every time. this is definitely the worst, how are you supposed to fully enjoy this work of art only by yourself? they definitely don't understand what good music is, if only they gave it a chance you could-

just when the music from your headphones stopped, you could still hear one of your favorite songs smells like teen spirit coming from a... record store?

your mind is full of questions, since when has been this store here? this is just 5 minutes away from school and you've never noticed it. maybe this is the prize you deserve for having successfully passed all your exams. buying your very first vinyl will surely be the boost of serotonin you need.

you took off your headphones before getting into the store and quickly walked to check all the beautiful vinyls. the excitement could be seen in your eyes, all the vinyls of your favorite bands in one store and you're even considering finding a job, buying everything of this store is not a want but a necessity. this must be heaven.

after what felt like seconds but were actually 20 long minutes, you finally make your choice and find the vinyl that'll have the privilege to be your very first and most appreciated acquisition.

you turn around, walk towards the shop counter and just then realize how rude of you was not to greet the old man at the store. however, you don't care that much, he should understand that you were too excited to even speak and... was it an old man? did you even look at the person who was next to you the last 20 minutes?

"i'll take this" you place the vinyl on the counter before looking up at the person in front of you.

but now, you reassure one more time that you're not on earth anymore. this is definitely heaven, or maybe something greater because the angel in front of you isn't from this planet at all. green eyes, auburn hair drawn back in a messy bun, a scar on one eyebrow, black clothes with a nirvana t-shirt, an arm tattoo and a mask. this is the most gorgeous guy you've seen in your entire life and you were rude to him, you didn't talk to him for this entire time.

"i love this one" he gave you your new purchase in a bag "you have good taste" that raspy voice that'll live in your mind rent free for an eternity, you're sure about that.

meanwhile, your mind has been spinning for the last 30 seconds. a cute guy with a stunning style and majestic music taste, you've seen only his eyes but you can already imagine a life with him where you get married and play your favorite songs in your wedding.

"thanks, you too. bye" and just like that the conversation ended. you're definitely not the most flirtatious person but you didn't ask him anything, maybe it was too soon to ask for his number but not even his name? really? you can already hear your friends scolding you but at least you remember half of his face and that's enough to be delusional the following months until you find another crush.

8 in the morning and you've been talking for half an hour to your friends about this cute guy from the record store. of course they scolded you for not asking his name but your excitement couldn't be taken away that easily. no other boy from your school has ever made you feel like this, no one called your attention like he did.

"is there any possibility that you see your boy again?" dina, your best friend asked "and maybe ask him out"

"dina!" you frowned as if she had just said the craziest thing you've heard in your life "it's too soon for that. but as soon as i see him again i'll ask him his name" you started kicking your feet "and he'll fall in love with me."

dina and your bursted out laughing and spent the whole morning planning your future life with someone you saw once.

maybe you've been talking too loud or maybe she doesn't like you, but the girl next to you has been glancing at you and dina and she seemed a little too much interested in your conversation.

ellie. you've been classmates for almost a year but you two never spoke. she's like any other girl at school. she wears the same uniform as you, a white shirt and a gray skirt. she also wears these square glasses and she has her headphones on most of the time.

she seems like one of those nerds but one that doesn't participate that much in class. she comes to class, listens to the professors and goes home. you've never seen her talking to any other classmates but she seems comfortable only drawing on her notebook and listening to something on her headphones, it's not that you don't like her, but you haven't had the opportunity to get to know her.

but today she seemed quite distracted and instead of focusing on the class, she was focused on you. she seemed nervous, maybe she wanted to join the conversation and make some friends?

however, the bell rang. you were too busy talking about your new guy to try to figure out why ellie's been looking at you more than usual. you began to pack up your belongings; notebook, pencil case, some other books and, are you forgetting something?

the moment you're getting up from your seat, you can feel ellie's presence approaching you. you stare up at her for a few seconds and before you can say something, her hand reached your ear and put on one of your earbuds.

"you dropped this" your eyebrows furrowed, did she always had those pretty green eyes?

the song that you'd been listening on loop nothing at all was playing on your earbuds loud enough for her to listen to it "that song rocks, doesn't it?" and just like that she walked out the door leaving you completely confused. you're sure you've seen those eyes before, you think that maybe for a split second you stopped looking at ellie as your classmate and maybe... someone else.

on the other hand, ellie has been walking in silence staring at her feet while her mind is about to explode because the girl who sits next to her, her classmate and one of the most popular girls at school, has met and is interested in a guy who works at the record store. but no guy works there, just ellie.

she got a part time job and she's been working there for a few months but that was the first time she saw you there. you didn't recognize her though, since the style she has at her job is the opposite of the one she has at school.

probably the best option is to tell you the truth, the guy you're interested in isn't a guy and is actually the boring, nerdy girl from school, the girl you'd never talk to because that would only ruin your reputation, or at least that's what ellie thinks.

ellie thought that her job should be boring and only boring, she didn't want to have to deal with something else than that. and now that girl has a crush on her, or she has a crush on the person she thinks ellie is.

fortunately, ellie's job is calm. not many people visit the store so she spends her first hours of work tidying the place, not paying much attention to the store itself.

while cleaning at the back of the store, ellie heard the ring of the little bell on the door warning the presence of a client. she sighed and fixed her clothes before getting into the store again but got surprised when she noticed that the client was actually you.

if it weren't for the music playing at the store, the place would have been in complete silence. no one was on sight when you walked in so the sound coming from the back of the store scared you and you jumped. "you scared me, i didn't know you were here" you giggled nervously.

"have you been looking forward to it that much?" you were starting to stutter when the green eyed spoke in what seemed a flirty way. "no- i mean! the new foo fighters album" she interrupted herself "you were looking forward to it because you wanted to buy it, right?" she tried to hide her shaky voice, did she just accidentally flirt with you?

"i swear it's so good, you can hear it a thousand times and it'll still sound amazing. also, i know you like nirvana too because you bought the vinyl. you'll love it, i totally recommend it."

you were in a dream, did you just exchange more than two words with that guy? and he was showing a lot of interest it seemed unreal. you'd be a fool if you mess this up.

"i really want to buy it but uhm..." your pockets were empty, you spent all your money in that vinyl and being an unemployed student is not helpful to your situation "i'm a bit short of money right now" not to say that you're dry.

"i'm sorry but i-" yet she didn't let you finish your sentence "i bought this one for myself. you can have it and tell me your opinion when you return it."

he couldn't be more charming to you. only 5 minutes talking and you had already fell down on your knees. "thank you. you can give me your number so that i can bring it back." your hand sweating for you've finally made a move on who you thought was the guy from your dreams.

"no," no? he rejected you just like that, he didn't even a think a second to answer your question "it's just... i can't use my phone at work."

laying on the counter in front of you was a black ink pen which you quickly grabbed and started writing your phone number on his wrist next to his tattoo.

ellie looked at you stunned, she was glad she was wearing a mask because her cheeks had turned crimson. she noticed your hand shaking and that was the moment she realized the trouble she'd gotten into.

"i thought that if i wrote it on a paper, you'd lose it." the music playing in the background just made the atmosphere between you two dreamlike. you waved and smiled at him as you left the store hoping your burning cheeks would go unnoticed. not only did you have someone to share your interests with but also it was someone who you were crushing on really hard.

the first person on the taglist will be my editor/manager/first person who read this @ohnopoteito thank uuu 💋💋

[callsignfate]

Personal Exile Pt. 5

Day Four of Writemas/Birthday posts!

If you want to see the scheduled posts go here If you want to see more posts like this go here

TW: Self degrading jokes (you call yourself mutt), if I've missed any let me know!

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

Your sleep was cut short as your ass and back burned from the stagnant position you had stayed in for hours, sleeping sitting on the floor next to her in your bed.

You were exactly what the others had nicknamed you as 'Valeria's mutt.' You had learned after listening to it so many times that you ended up translating it for yourself one night out of curiosity and boredom. Sleeping at her feet on the floor now, no less. You chuckled at your own thought quietly before you slowly staggered to your feet.

The burning and numb feeling had turned into painful needles that stabbed all over your lower back down to your feet as you moved your painfully numb legs towards the door once you had grabbed your usual gear. You glanced back at Valeria, still sleeping soundly. You walked out into the hall and then outside into the quiet morning. If you hadn't checked the time, you wouldn't have known that it was early morning from how dark it was. You scanned the patrols, recognizing a few of the men, none of them interesting to you.

You paced the hallways endlessly, taking in the art and decorations as you mindlessly looked around. Eventually, the windows brightened, and the sun showed through them as you sighed and headed back towards Valeria's office.

The door was slightly ajar; you opened it fully to see Valeria sitting at her desk, looking between papers looking better than she did last night.

"Well, look who's looking better already," you said, pushing the door open and walking in with a playful smirk.

She didn't even glance up at you, as always. "Did you sleep in bed with me?" She asked, not taking her eyes off the papers.

"As if I'd dare sleep in bed with thee, El Sin Nombre," you said playfully, putting your hand to your chest and bowing as if she were royalty and you were a mere servant.

"Where did you sleep?" She asked, only glancing at you briefly after tearing her eyes from her papers.

"On the floor like your so-called mutt," you said, putting emphasis on your nickname that you knew Valeria had also heard of. "It fits—I listen to you while you hold the metaphorical leash you have me on. I do your bidding, sorry—biting, then I sleep at your feet like a dog," you continued, and Valeria's eyes finally tore away from her work, studying you carefully. The air in the room seemed to shift with the unspoken tension between you two.

The corners of Valeria's lips curled into a sly smirk as she leaned back in her chair, regarding you with a mix of amusement and something unreadable. "Mutt or not, you always come back."

You approached her desk, leaning against it with a confident grin. "Well, I have to stick around for my favorite tyrant. Who else would put up with your demands and your charming lack of appreciation?"

Valeria chuckled, a sound that carried a hint of genuine warmth. "Charming, indeed. But don't mistake my lack of verbal praise for a lack of acknowledgment, mutt. You know your place."

"Right at your feet, metaphorical leash and all," you retorted, enjoying the playful banter that always danced between you two.

She finally set her papers aside and locked eyes with you. "Did you at least get some rest?" There was a subtle softness in her voice, a rare moment of concern that betrayed a deeper connection than your banter suggested.

You shrugged nonchalantly, "As much as one can on a cold, hard floor."

A contemplative look crossed Valeria's face. "Next time, take the damn bed. I'm not going to have my mutt complaining and unable to do her job because of a sore back."

The sincerity surprised you, but you met it with a nod. "Sure thing, boss. Now, what's on the agenda for today? More biting or just general mayhem?"

Valeria's eyes gleamed with a mischievous spark. "Let's start with a bit of both and see where the day takes us. We've got some dealings with the rival gang this afternoon, and I want you on the front lines."

You feigned a dramatic sigh. "Ah, the front lines. Always my favorite place to be."

Her smirk widened. "You love it, admit it."

"I live for the chaos you create," you replied, playing along. "Anything else, or shall I prepare myself for the impending mayhem?"

"Actually," she said, leaning forward, "we've got a new recruit coming in today. Some fresh blood eager to prove themselves. Show them the ropes, teach them the way things work around here."

You raised an eyebrow. "A babysitting job? That's a first."

Valeria's tone turned serious. "This recruit has potential. Keep an eye on them, assess their strengths, and report back to me. Understood?"

"Crystal clear, boss. Babysitting duty it is," you said with a smirk, appreciating the trust she placed in you for this task.

As the day unfolded, you found yourself navigating the delicate balance of chaos and order that defined your world. The streets echoed with the sounds of the city awakening to another day, and you, Valeria's mutt, moved with purpose. The new recruit proved to be a quick learner, and you shared the tricks of the trade with a certain level of amusement. It was a different kind of dynamic, one that reminded you of your early days under Valeria's careful watch.

♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤~♤

A/N: Im sorry for this taking so long to post I spent so much time preparing for the birthday posts and 'writemas' that it ended up on the back burner but here it is!

If you want to see the scheduled posts go here If you want to see more posts like this go here

[retronator]

I never played Karateka in the 80s, but as a big fan of Prince of Persia and Jordan Mechner's journals, I was stoked to hear that an interactive documentary about Jordan's prototypical cinematic platformer was in the works by Digital Eclipse.

Released this week, The Making of Karateka on the surface looks like any other game you buy through Steam ($20, Windows-only), GOG, or whichever favorite store or console you prefer (available also for Xbox, PS4/5, Switch). Once the thing loads though, you really get 3 things: a documentary, the original Karateka, and a new remaster.

The documentary part is an audio-visual slideshow retelling Jordan's development story starting with his teenage years pitching his earlier title Deathbounce to the publishing house Brøderbund. It's an interesting look into the iterative process, seen through correspondence letters, journal entries, and many playable builds at various stages of completion. After we reach the eventual rejection of that title, Jordan comes back with a prototype of a visual-narrative experience unseen on home computers. We get to follow Karateka's full life cycle from pre- to post-production, ending with the conception of its sequel (which eventually turned into Prince of Persia). It's a real treasure trove! Fellow pixel artists will appreciate the many graph-paper sketches and interactive overlays of final game sprites compared to rotoscoped outlines and filmed footage. There are also video segments, from a comprehensive breakdown of the music to interviews with other developers reflecting on the impact Jordan's games had on their careers. You'll even encounter a fan letter signed by the one and only "John Romero, Disciple of the Great Jordan and worshipper of the Magnificent Mechner!" (I kid you not, you can't make this stuff up).

Perhaps just as crucial for an interactive documentary like this, you can launch any of the floppy disks in the emulator, trying out various iterations and ports of Karateka.

The emulation is fantastic and lets you fiddle with display settings (monochrome or color display, scanlines, pixel perfect or zoomed) as well as enhance the frame rate. You can even rewind the many deaths you will face if you've never played the game before (like me). If you spend some more time obsessing over the weird artifacts of the Apple II hi-res graphics, you might even go down the rabbit hole of realizing that on the Apple II you didn't really paint colors as much as you used different monochrome dithering patterns that the graphics display would then turn into 4 different hues. A fascinating learning experience if you include some of your own research online!

Add to this the Commodore 64 and the Atari 8-bit versions to compare how the graphics got adapted across the earlier ports and you have a nice way to relieve the mid-80s with a bit of help from modern emulation (I did beat the C64 version without rewinding though!). I'd love to see more art from the other remakes, especially the 16-bit Atari ST port, but I understand their decision to omit playable versions of those due to the lower quality on the gameplay side of the translations.

This brings us to the final part of the package, the modern remaster. Unlike the 2012 complete reimagining of the game (with 3D graphics and all), Digital Eclipse approached the remake as the ultimate port of the original to an imaginary system along the lines of a 90s VGA PC.

It's well done. Some of the fully-redrawn scenes are a bit overpainted for my taste (I'd prefer a pixel art rendition of the castle than a blurry photographic collage, although there were many games in the 90s that did take this approach), but the in-game graphics are really in style, including the smooth animations that are like one would imagine granted a beefier CPU. It's also a sort of director's cut with previously unseen scenes added, in particular, the battle with the leopard as a clever action-puzzle in the middle. The AI is unfortunately even less challenging than Jordan's implementation. As great as the 6-move fighting system could have been, you yet again resort to simply kicking away opponents as they tirelessly crawl into your range. There isn't even the nuance from the original where you were the one who had to approach some enemies with skilled timing. On the other hand, you now have optional goals and achievements that make the repetitive/easy combat work in your favor (stringing various combos, beating opponents or the level under a time limit …). As the Digital Eclipse president Mike Mika admits at the end of the welcome commentary mode, they didn't manage to achieve their perfect port, but they did come close.

In conclusion, I thoroughly enjoyed playing both the original as well as the remake and while the combat system lacks any sort of depth beneath its stunning animations, Karateka is instead a monumental experience for its presentation. Big characters with personality and realistic motion are displayed through cinematic camera cuts and story vignettes (3 years before Ron Gilbert came up with the word "cutscene"). There are details like animating the unfortunate falling off the cliff at the start of the game, or respectfully bowing to the first guard as they bow in return. Jordan's creative work is precious and worth the attention this release gifts it.

I highly recommend The Making of Karateka to all retro gamers and/or game developers for its immersive documentation which provides an experience that goes beyond the usual video documentaries. It's interactive—just like the subject it's talking about—something I want to see more in the future. And if the $20 by any chance seems high to you, consider that the original retailed at $35 (and that was in 1984 dollars).

[honoringthehorrific]

Is Late Night with The Devil worth tuning in for?

Don't adjust those sets...spoilers in 5..4..3..2...

First off sorry for not being able to find a gif from the movie! Tumblr gave me a real hard time with that one.

Second off I would like to say I do not support the use of AI art. I think it is abysmal. I watched this movie with my partner after saving up points at our local theater for free tickets. If this still supports the movies we see in some way please let me know and I will be sure to find another way to better watch these movies without supporting their actions...🏴‍☠️🦜 It just may mean you get your reviews a touch later!

Onto the movie. The aesthetics were very enjoyable I could appreciate the ties back to satanic panic and the fascination with the occult. The costuming, the filming of the movie, it all felt right and very few times did I feel my immersion in it break. I feel like maybe there were one or two shots where the actors looked too well made up if that makes sense.

One fun fact my partner pointed out was that you can see the twin towers in the opening shots and the city cut aways because they were built 4 years prior! I really liked that this movie didn't shy away from showing us the towers mostly because I feel like that's something that would have broken the idea we are in the 70s.

While the filming was fitting and awesome the effects were....I would say B tier at points. I think it adds to the charm of course I can always appreciate a homemade effect but it does slightly pull me out of this being something that really happened. Don't get me wrong I know it's not trying to be the next Blair witch "true story" but i feel like there is some level to this that wants the audience to feel that this is real.

My partner notes too that cutting it from a television camera view to the audience view might have helped as well!

Onto the fun stuff, we get hints throughout...sorry no, not hints...we get TOLD throughout the movie that our star of tonight's show, jack delroy, is in a fraternal organization...sorry, i mean cult. He is in the Bohemian Grove cult. We get told there are rumors of this in the opening almost documentary style retelling of Jack's fame and struggles with being as good as Johnny Carson. We'll come back to that.

Tonight is 1977. Halloween night. Sweep week. A night where Jack really needs to scrape in the views. He has no idea that the plans he has this evening will go awry...recently his wife madeline who will be reffered to by her "special nickname" mini has passed away from lung cancer. Tonight's show is also jacks first one back and man is it a doozy. We get to see how he banters with his co-host and honestly kind of berates him. I had this struggle with jack where I wanted to like him but every time I tried I just got these kicks and hints that he was kind of an asshole? But it's show biz, who isn't? His first guest is a medium who intends to commune with the dead. He seems like other shoddy Vegas types until he accurately assess a family who lost their son and brother to suicide. It's later revealed to be a bunch of hooey when the next guest a renowned skeptic chats with the family and realizes they were questioned prior to the show.

The first chilling moment we get that isn't the use of AI art is the medium seemingly becoming possessed by the grieving spirit of mini however no one claims the name and only later does jack reveal he thinks the message was for him.

I'm not gonna foot around it. The use of AI art while not overly used and egregious it's present. Personally it being present feels like an issue. It bugs me and it should bug you. I know many people want to cut it a break for being an indie film but it doesn't take much to put some money towards what was it? 5-6 pieces of art? Yeah some people will have higher rates for working on this but I'm sure they could have found someone to do the art if they felt theirs wasn't up to par. I don't think they're fully evil or anything for it. I don't support AI art but I can understand the other side of the argument. However when you turn a blind eye to one film and it does well it doesn't matter if it's an indie project or not. It makes the big guys think hey we like this. Give the devil an inch and he'll take a mile right?...

That all being said I could ignore the cut aways kind of??...I paid attention for mistakes the first few times before the sight of them just elicited an annoyed eyeroll from me.

As the movie progresses we meet the skeptic. He's offering checks to people who can prove without a doubt that they're the real deal and he says hes not lost a nickel yet. The medium claims he doesn't want the money and when Jack vouches for him and says the last message was meant for him the medium's behavior gets more and more erratic before he finally spews black vomit all over the studio including onto the skeptic.

Little do we know on the way to the hospital our medium turns up dead. This starts to brew panic in the crew and our co-host as our next guests are brought on. June and Lily. Lily was found as a 10 year old by the authorities as the only surviving member of a satanic cult that kind of parodies the satanic church and Anton lavey. Lily is possessed by a demon she calls mr.wriggles. mr.wriggles is an interesting one alright! Wether it's trauma, the demonic possession or my boyfriend's theory- autism. Lily exhibits off behaviors like staring directly into the cameras and seeming very monotone at times. It isn't until Jack pushes for and honestly...kind of corners June on live TV that June and Lily decide to showcase Lily's ability. Man does this demon have something to say.

The demon begins by noting that him and Jack know each other hinting at a tie between the Grove cult again. Before intent focuses again on June. Calling her out for her and jacks relationship and telling her to remember what happened to his last whore. Possession doesn't cease until June slaps the girl. Let me tell you I didn't trust this at all. June goes to undo the straps after some crazy electrical issues and levitation and I just felt uneasy the whole time. That typical feeling while watching these movies of "are you stupid??" Lily in my eyes had a very sinister look to her still that later gets touched on again. We then get the skeptics explanation and recreation with hypnosis. Making our co-host believe his phobia of worms is suddenly real life with them wriggling from his neck stomach and lastly eyeball. Only for us to cut back to reality with his activation phrase and see that none of it was true. They watch the tape back and realize that the whole audience was hypnotized because none of that truly happened on their TV sets. However when watching back what happened with Lily it triggers the girl.

She levitates and glows while her head splits open. She immolates the skeptic when he offers the hefty check in exchange for his life and hangs her guardian/doctor by the necklace meant to keep the demon at bay. And unfortunately our chunky loveable co-host gets his neck snapped when trying to "the power of Christ compels you" the demon away. It isn't until we get this gorgeous dream like sequence after Jack seemingly gets away. Him going through the routine of the show only to try and escape. Him telling us to turn off our sets and stop watching before we get a sequence with the cult and him drinking from a chalice as he meets his wife. She reveals that he sacrificed her health for fame. He didn't know. And this is where I felt sympathetic for him....the entire time he was unaware...he murdered her unintentionally. And so she asks him to murder her in the physical. Take the ritual knife from Lily's old home and finish her off before the cancer can take her....only for him to plunge the knife into her and reveal that the dream was fake. And he has stabbed Lily to death. He stands and we get a heart wrenching scene of him trying to say the skeptics activation phrase to wake up while surrounded by the carnage he somewhat unknowingly caused...

Overall I give this 3 worms out of 5.

The AI made my eyes roll and the effects were corny but the premise and scenery and aesthetics were beautiful. I sort of reccomend it if you can watch it in a non supporting way.

[raindingrandom]

4 Games that Define Me

So there was a post on my Twitter timeline that encouraged users to post images of four games that defined them, so I figured I'll post them here alongside the reasons for each pick!

Super Mario Bros. 3 for SNES via Super Mario All-Stars

While it wasn't the first Mario game I ever played, Super Mario Bros. 3 was the one Young RainDing played the most on the SNES All-Stars collection. And for good reason.

This game practically codified what a Mario game could be. A large variety of level types, lots of hidden secrets, new items, iconic music, and so much more.

While the first two Super Mario Bros. games were great too, I think this is the one that solidified my love of the Mario series, and maybe even video games in general!

Donkey Kong Country for SNES

As my Donkey Kong brainrot can attest to, Donkey Kong Country is a very important series to me. And while the 2nd game is my favourite of the SNES trilogy, the first game was how I was introduced to it.

The atmospheric music. The iconic sound effects. The appealing CG art style. The plethora of secrets. The engaging gameplay. The satisfaction of gaining a boost of speed from cartwheeling through enemies. This game DEFINED the SNES for me.

I was too young to understand how revolutionary the DKC trilogy's pre-rendered 3D graphics were at the time, but I didn't need this knowledge to appreciate the games. So whenever I see anyone say something along the lines of "They were overrated games that people only liked for the graphics", I know for sure that it wasn't the case for me.

Sonic Heroes for PlayStation 2

The first Sonic the Hedgehog game I ever owned. This game is extremely flawed, but I've always enjoyed playing it anyway. Yes, even with the PS2 version's lower framerate.

In addition to teaching me the basics of Sonic gameplay, the team formation mechanic was a lot of fun to use. And while some of the character dialogue can be cheesy, I can't help but find most of it charming. "LOOK AT ALL THOSE EGGMAN'S ROBOTS!"

Since I've played Sonic Heroes so many times, I know how to get around most of the game's jank, which in turn, lets me view the game more fondly than other people do.

Shantae and the Pirate's Curse for Wii U.

I found this game one day on the eShop. Since it was a platformer with a cute anime-esque aesthetic, I decided to try it, even if I didn't typically play metroidvanias.

Needless to say, trying a new franchise really payed off here. It had fun and addicting gameplay, great music, funny writing, and delightful characters. Shantae herself is an endearingly dorky and likable protagonist. (Special mention goes to her aborable pirate talk in this game)

While Half-Genie Hero and Seven Sirens were where I'd say I fully became a fan of the Shantae series, Pirate's Curse is what introduced me to it in the first place. (which is amusing since it's the most mechanically different out of the 5 games)

[scarletlilyy]

I can go on for days how much teenage boys treat girls they don't find attractive differently but here's my most recent experience

Okay first of all I just want to say the experience varies, some guys are only friends with girls they don't find attractive cus it's easier and they don't have to get nervous around them, these kinda guys r usually alr but sometimes they view u as a man/male friend and it can be very degrading

some guys are only friends with girls they find attractive and it's not necessarily always with the intentions of dating sometimes just for attention or a pretty face to look at imo. These kind of guys are usually not kind to girls they don't find attractive

either way the experience of girl, especially black girl, who's not conventionally attractive is not always a fun one.

Currently, I'm at summer camp and it's been really fun for the most part. Today we were doing some art group work thingy and I went to a group with two guys just to see their stuff. I stood there and asked them if I could see their stuff like 5-6 times and they just ignored me and didn't say anything. Like nothing like "no" or anything. It was until I went ahead to just peek at it anyway, just for one of them to say "you'll see it fully when we win"

that wasn't bad of anything but what really set me off is how they treat me differently compared to the other girls at the camp.

For example one of the guys I approached in particular has been very kind to some other girls, one time he pulled out a chair for one of my friends and even pulled the seat closer to him, some other girls were standing too but he only offered the seat to her and like was really nice to her. Then another time he named his first aid dummy another girl's name and ik this doesn't all sound super romantic, but they were really "bold" advances and some of the girls at camp agreed

I've engaged in conversation with him but I can tell he likes to talk to the other girls better and that whole ignoring thing was just so fucking embarrassing.

Also keep in mind everyone in my class is Asian but me, specifically the class is mostly Chinese. (No hate to Chinese people)

Sorry if it seems like I'm overreacting but I really feel like he wouldn't have acted that way if I was someone else

In the past I've had a lot of personality issues, like I've not always been the kindest person. I'm still not but I'm a lot better than I was back then, a lot of guys hated me back then and I really still think it was cus

1. I'm not conventionally attractive

2. I'm decently smart/high achieving in academics

3. I'm black, loud & opinionated

The attractive thing really plays a part cus the girls at my summer camp people showed interest in are extremely loud and rude. And I'm sorry if that sounds like a pick me thing but gosh there were a lot of moments I hoped they'd calm down and shush a lil bit

they were really nice to me and appreciate that a lot, they just openly talked shit about a lot of people

one girl would loudly talk about how she homewrecked a couple cus she thought the guy was too hot for the girl. The other would talk about she hated ppl who didn't have symmetrical faces and they were still desired by guys (maybe not the second one cus she was not really the standard beauty anyway, but that still proves my point)

so if they are desired when they r bitchy & loud? why can't I????

cus I'm black lol.

My bitchy was a lot different kind of bitchy, like not to justify it but my main issue was being very judgemental and always calling out racism. Ik the calling out racism doesn't sound bad but I just did it all the wrong ways, I'd legit curse people out and report them to teachers.

I was just an angry preteen but I really regret the way I went about justice back then, I've honestly learnt just to accept the racism cus ppl my age especially guys will never change their racist ways and If I fight back everyone's gonna hate me

sometimes I do set boundaries but arguing is not worth it anymore.

Don't forget I was also very judgemental. it's a bad habit of mine but sometimes stupid people really piss me off...

Another thing that contributed to why I was so hated was cus I was a smart black girl in a predominantly Asian school (grd 6&7 yr) I really didn't notice the racism from the Asians for a long time until one of them started being really forward about it and it suddenly made sense why I was excluded and didn't have too many friends when I moved to the school despite the fact I was very extroverted.

There was this one chinese guy in that particular class he questioned why I was so unathletic when I was black and why I was good at math

Cus apparently black people can't be good at math and suck at basketball. There was only really one other student who was openly (there were some undercover nerds imo) dominating academics as much as I was in that class and the guys would often use that against me and claim he was smarter than me

the funny thing is that the guy was really humble and did not care, but his insecure friends weaponized it so much.

I still would orather be in an Asian predominant school than white though. Cus in my grade 7 school and current highschool, white people are the minority but I can confidently tell you they are the most open about their racism cus they can get away with it (most of the teachers in my country r white)

After moving away from that school (the grd 6&7 school) to an even worse school, I made friends with the new kid that came after I left the school.

We were somewhat close online and we'd have friendly academic competition, even though we were in different schools. I apparently found out he had been leaking my grades to the boys at his school, even though he knew they hated me and would do anything to see my academic downfall

and I was just so devastated

anyways, I've gone a lil off topic but it all comes down to the point that things would have been majorly different in any school I've been too, if I was their type.

A lot of my past guy crushes or even just guys I've found attractive, hated/disliked me or just found me plain annoying.

At first I used to entirely blame them and everyone around me. Nowadays, I try to recognize the fault in my own actions and work to fix that. I'm not perfect, sometimes I slip in a few insults to men when they piss me off even the slightest bit.

Then I go ahead and overthink it for a little bit, then heavily regret my actions.

I've done that a few times at camp, like I'm cautious of the way I act and the stuff I say now cus I really don't want another class hating me.

It hurts knowing whatever I do will never be enough and any slight mistake I make will be their final impression of me.

In my current high school, I have a decent amount of male friends but they r the kind that are only friends with girls they are not attracted to. Which like I said is not a bad thing but sometimes really degrading cus I don't think they see me as a woman. Also I think my male friends are mostly there for homework answers but whatever lol.

But it's much preferable than to have so many guys hating on you lol, I don't feel male validation but I also don't want male hate.

[draceempressa]

When I read the translations of the newest update of EP 6, the thing that comes to mind in me is when Rook tell Ortho how regretful he was that he didn't notice Vil's pain that led him to overblot. However....

Rook Hunt: I sometimes jump out of my skin when I dream about that day when Vil Overblotted.

Rook Hunt: I thought I was staring at him closer than a mirror, closer than his five million magical camera followers. 

Rook Hunt: I was standing next to him, watching him.

Rook Hunt: I don't know if his overblot could have been avoided if I had reached out to him.

Rook Hunt: To think that maybe we could have saved them would be a terrible conceit.

Rook Hunt: Vil’s anger, his despair, and his loneliness…and everyone else’s too.

Rook Hunt: I'm here so I can say, "I did all I could do."

Rook Hunt: Oh. Not for anyone else. For my own aesthetics.

I really wanna point this out. Rook, I know he ain't a perfect friend, and I know this time he's trying what he can for Vil, and he finally get to point out his mistake in not seeing Vil's pain and do something about it, I appreciate that. I'm fully aware now he isn't that fully perceptive enough to know what people are thinking. 

BUT, he has no right to say he did what he could do. He did all what he can do just now, but I can't say the same thing back in EP 5. Cause honestly, he never really did anything to get Vil to at least pacify his insecurities, he literally just standing there watching Vil get eaten by his insecurities yet he never done anything. It's just like how Trey tried to ignore Riddle's tyranny all cause he has a strained past with his parents. Rook understands Vil's desperation in wanting to outshine Neige but he seems to fail to realize that Vil's self doubts of his own beauty is eating him away and he did nothing to stop him. He only acted when Vil loses it and attempt to kill Neige. I know Rook said that even if he tried to stop him, he won't make a difference, well even if Vil will end up being stubborn, that's his choice, at least Rook tried. But Rook didn't try, he literally did NOTHING to stop Vil. Only at the end where they lose (when Rook voted for RSA) is when he console him. 

But hey, this is just a game. Vil overblotting will happen, with Rook or the others interfering or not. I'm glad Rook get to realize his mistake and try to make up for it, even if his shenanigans just to show how he cares for Vil is too hard to handle. Here's what I can say, 3 years isn't enough to know a person deep down. 

--------------------------------------

I'll say the keyword here.

Rook Hunt: Oh. Not for anyone else. For my own aesthetics.

Look here. this one here. This is the keyword to the situation. Aesthetic. Rook, first and foremost, before everything, is an art connoisseur. Like sure, his definition of art isn't just about the physical ones, it does include personality, per se, but he clearly is that neurodivergent art connoisseur who see beauty in everything and the want to appreciate everything as if they are an art, even if they are living being close to him, more like, if they are living person near him. My homie, who is an art student, said, it would be hard to try to understand Rook if you're not an art person, who see beauty in everything.

But i will rebuke one point here. It's not that Rook didn't get Vil, no. But getting back to his "art person as his whole personality" idea, he finds beauty in the idea of being killed by Vil. Or the idea of the unyielding Vil finally breaks. He finds the idea itself artistic, you see. Not that he doesn't get Vil, no, he does.

Sure, as you say he finally realized his mistake.but it wasn't "he didn't realize Vil was breaking" per se, no, because he would have. It was more about "my selfish taste in aesthetic, wanting to see more sides of Vil is doing more damages on him in the long run and I would rather save him now rather than sating my thirst (heh) for aesthetic, so I can enjoy more of his aesthetic later" Different than Trey's coddling of "he already suffered enough so I don't call know how to call him out without hurting him", Rook's mistake is more "oh this is beautiful too . not bad to see vil sometimes like this, let us savor the aes tad bit more" , in the audience/artist sense.

Not that he enjoys vil's suffering per se, but for him, vil's overblotting is simply another struggle Vil have faced everyday and it's not any less beautiful even if tad bit more surprising. It's why he didn't try to pacify Vil, because the man himself doesn't exactly want help and Rook knows that much. Rook watched from the sidelines is out of his own artist/audience instinct as much because he knows Vil himself doesn't really want people to get too close and coddle him.

Trey is Riddle's friend, yes we know they are textbook osanajimi (childhood friends). But relationship between Rook and Vil are definitely not textbook friends, even if they ARE friends, they are more like relationship between the art and the artist (see also: pygmalion and galatea, those kind of stuff) .

Yes, all of this sounds so screwed up for a neurotypical, for our world' standard, and neither I will say Rook is right in letting Vil broke. I'm just here to explain his aesthetic, what he lives for , how he see things, and while he is wrong, not in the way you think he is.

[yourfaves-a-pokemaster]

Pokémon Teams: Dr. Strange

Stephen's team was surprisingly hard, and a few of his Pokémon even more surprising. I absolutely adore this team personally because it's a combination of everything that makes Stephen, well...Stephen of course. I do plan on doing the other variants, but where else better to start than our Stephen? Without further ado:

The Strange Team!

1. Decidueye

I personally like to think Rowlet was Stephen's starter Pokémon. It was his first caught and has been with him through everything. He's the most loyal of the team, and was already fully evolved before the events of the first movie. In a way, he was foreshadowing as to what he was meant to become. I know some people will think that hawk eye would be better trainer for Decidueye and maybe those folks are right, but I personally just really love the idea of Stephen with an owl like Pokémon. And no offense to fans of noctowl and hoothoot (I love them both) but they just look kinda goofy.

2. Arcanine

In the case of arcanine, I like to think he was actually a gift from Christine, who knew a breeder, as a sort of anniversary gift. He didn't plan to evolve the little growlithe, until, in addition to the watch, she also got him a fire stone to evolve it whenever he wanted. I don't think Stephen evolved his growlithe until after the events of the first movie, so he has a growlithe in the first one. Arcanine, like Decidueye, is loyal to the core and loves Stephen deeply. Besides, how cool would it be to see him ride around on this giant tiger-dog?!

3. Klefki

Caught and originally kept as a joke, I could definitely see Stephen buffing the hell out of this thing and making it stronger than it appears. Tony made fun of Klefki one time and one of his cars got keyed. Needless to say klefki is a little psychopath who hates just about everyone equally. It's mischievous but not lethal. Plus I also like to think Klefki has impeccable memory and reminds Stephen to do things as he's prone to forget. Klefki really likes America Chavez and she's probably the only human it doesn't prank.

4. Milotic

The first Pokémon Stephen caught after coming to Kamar Taj was feebas, and she served as a lesson of friendship, cooperation, and responsibility. Milotic is kind, caring and patient, the sort of mom friend of the Strange Team, despite not having been in it for very long. Probably not the best dragon for him, but Stephen adores her anyway.

5. Alakazam

At first, I was a little unsure about this Pokémon, but I feel it fits in here. It's extremely intelligent, and I think Stephen honestly appreciates and respects that. He doesn't get its obsession with spoons, but just goes with it. He doesn't use mega evolution, as he sees it as cruel because a Pokémon's entire existence becomes pain when mega evolution is used. Alakazam also may be the only Pokémon intelligent enough to also learn the mystic arts to a smaller extent, so in a way it's an equal.

6. Wooloo

I literally have no excuse for this, I just really think Stephen would absolutely love this Pokémon because it's soft and adorable, and he can appreciate that. Stephen tried to put it in the PC once...ONCE...and wooloo gave him the sad eyes and he gave in, allowing it to stay. It's more of a pet than a fighter, as it doesn't like conflict. That all being said though, it's not afraid to step up if it needs to. It will roll over anyone. Like a dog, when it hears Stephen return to the Sanctum, it rolls up to greet him, almost knocking him over. Also wooloo may or may not have tried to fly with the Cloak of Levitation at least once....

And so there we go, our Strange Team! I'm so pumped for the next one, as I believe I'll be doing defender Strange next. Will he have a wooloo too? Who knows! Maybe wooloo is a multiversal constant XD thanks for reading! :D

[hawksugarbaby]

Todoroki x reader- one hell of a reunion

Smut

Chapter included: hair pulling, loud sex, implications of cuckolding

Todoroki watched amused knowing it didn't matter who fucked you best, he loved you, and you loved him, it had been obvious since first year. He watched you be carried off by Kirishima on his shoulder and you cupped your hands around your mouth "YOUR A CUCKOLD!" you shouted to the heterochromatic and he shook his head. So immature. "I GET TO GO NEXT YOU FUCKING EXTRA'S!" "Kaachan the world doesn't revolve around you!" "QUIET DEKU"

The boys were gathered around a table staring at your silhouette talking to your former teachers who were asking about your studies in university. The hero course was having a reunion, 10 years after they left to go off on their own, some had gone straight to setting up their own agencies, some going on to be sidekicks for more popular heroes but you? You were a special case. You never cared for becoming a hero, mostly just following the path laid out for you by your mother so you decided that before you stepped into the mould created for you, you would go to university and study (f/s) much to your mother's dismay so that you had something to fall back on if you decided hero work wasn't for you.

You had always been attentive in class, never missing a note or a class and used all your free time to study, you were as sweet as a Carmel apple and always had a childlike innocence around you but it seemed like too much to many of the 1-A boys, even midoriya was sceptical of your innocence. Which led all the boys to tonight, each one determined to discover the real you. The girls always seemed oblivious to how sickly your personality was assuming it was just a purity no one else possessed but the boys knew it was saccharine.

"She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind closed doors she's latex and whips" kaminari took a swig off his spiked punch and all the boys nodded in agreement, well most of which. Todoroki didn't understand why everyone was so hung up on this, of course, you were the most gorgeous person in existence to him and your personality brought a liveliness to the room no one else could offer, so why did they want to discover if it was untrue? Why couldn't they let you just be sweet and innocent, honey voice and butterscotch smooth skin, you were so perfect. "Yeah, but how are any of us going to find that out?" Kirishima pondered and Mineta stepped into the conversation "didn't (y/n) have a huge crush on todoroki? Like unable to keep her eyes off him crush?"

The boys nodded remembering how often you had made conversation with him compared to the other boys and some scowled at the memory "but we don't know if she still does?" Kirishima added and midoriya cleared his throat grabbing the table's attention "your about to do some analysis shit aren't you" bakugo rolled his eyes and urged him on with his hand. "Sh-she's wearing red earrings and a silver necklace with red rubies in it the same as todoroki's hair, her dress is dark blue and silver like his hero costume and finally..." he pointed to your hand "she clearly has a shoto phone case and her ankle has a tattoo of a melting snowflake..."

The boys sat, stunned at Deku's analysis and todoroki turned a bright pink and drew his attention from you to the other boys at the table "I really don't want to be involved in this" he lied and a collective groan of annoyance was barely heard over the pulsing music "fine... but I have no idea what i'm doing so don't bla-" "just go you fucking lovesick puppy" bakugo pushed him forward and todoroki stumbled into the conversation with their old teachers.

You slowly turned to see him, your face slowly turning red from the unexpected intrusion of your longtime crush. "Ah! young todoroki, nice to see you join us!" all might grinned, his frail frame half the size of todoroki. "It's nice to see you too sir, I hope you're doing well," he said with a kind tone that made you swoon "hey todoroki, how's it going?" you asked hiding your nerves with a cheery tone, "i'm doing quite well, how are your studies going (y/n)?" he asked looking back to the table of boys who were staring intently at your conversation "they're going amazing! I never want to leave it's so fun and i'm learning so much" you gave a toothy grin and the boys at the table rolled their eyes not believing your desire to learn. "That's really good. I actually came over to ask if you wanted to dance?" he asked and pointed to the flashing dancefloor filled with students "wait you dance?" you giggled and he shrugged "not really but this punch is 100 per cent filled with alcohol" he chuckled and you chuckled waving goodbye to your teachers and getting swallowed in the crowd of dancing students.

At first, it was slightly awkward, neither of you sure how to approach each other but eventually you got more comfortable, the alcohol hitting your systems and the thumping music encouraging your bodies to move together "I never really took you as a reunions guy!" you shouted over the music "well there are some things I wanted to see again!" he shouted back, he gained some confidence twirling you so your back was facing him and he pulled you closer to him leaning into your shoulder "like what?" you grinned, grinding your ass against his crotch "mm, my dorm is looking pretty enticing right now?" he offered nibbling on the shell of your ear, he could see the boys watching with wide eyes and flushed faces out his peripherals and his hands travelled up your front resting just below the swell of your chest.

"Won't other people be living there?" you said reaching behind you to palm his hardening cock through his trousers making his face burn hotter than his flames "no, they scrapped the dorms once the league was disbanded, now they're all big empty buildings. But some of us asked to keep our rooms intact in case we need to do undercover work and can't stay in our homes" he explained and you nodded, swallowing thickly. His hot breath tickled your cheek and you span round wrapping one arm around his neck, the other continuing to palm his cock. "I see, and you just so happen to be one of those heroes?" you asked biting your lip, your eyes fell to his and he tilted your chin up looking at you with a soft smile but a deviousness glimmered in his lust glazed eyes "if you bite your lip one more time I'll bite it for you" he growled. His threatening words went straight to your throbbing cunt, his low voice making your stomach do flips.

"Let's check out that dorm room then huh?" you asked grabbing his collar and dragging him past the boy's table with an innocent wave. "I'll bring him back soon! I wanted to show todoroki something but I left it in my car" you fake pout and they slowly nod "and you need todoroki to go with you?" kaminari raised an eyebrow and tapped his foot "aw would you like to come too kaminari?" you teased glancing down for a split second before his mouth could open todoroki slammed the door open pushing you forward by the small of your back and a low growl urged you forward. "Sorry, maybe you'll take me up on that later" you shout "no she won't" todoroki argued and you left the building with a chuckle.

It was a good 5-minute walk to the UA dorms, the cold evening air flew through you and the lamplight glowed signalling moths to meet their burning demise. You opened the heavy door and you switched the unused lights on. The floorboards groaned and cobwebs lived in the corners stringing across the windows, the room smelled old and musky but the familiar memories of Christmas on the couch lived on as visions. He quickly led you to his room and opened the much more pristine door, his room was cleaner than the rest of the house and his bedsheets were folded neatly at the end of the bed. "Come here often?" you joked and he shrugged not fully understanding.

You didn't bother locking the door, no one else would be around anyway and you tugged the hem of his shirt "impatient are you?" he chuckled and pulled his shirt over his head throwing it in the corner. "Why would you ever think such a thing?" you gasped and stepped out of your dress kicking it near his shirt and you lay sprawled on his bed on your stomach "the fact you're already on the bed for me is a sure sign" he chuckled lowly and kneeled between your leg's rubbing you through your soaked panties "your dripping wet for me (y/n)," he said bringing his fingers to his mouth and sucking your juices off his fingers. He made quick work of your underwear and rubbed your clit slowly making you groan, your hips bucked and he snickered "you're so desperate, you look so pretty all laid out for me like this" he complimented and you bit your lip squeezing your eyes shut burying your face in his pillow.

He spread your legs further and pushed 2 fingers into your sopping cunt. They slipped in easily but it was a tight fit, your sighs were swallowed by the pillow and he drank in the sight in front of him appreciating the art that was your body. He moved his calloused fingers quickly dragging his fingers along your walls and flicked his thumb over your clit. He left wet kisses along your spine and nibbled on the lobe of your ear, your whines raised in pitch as he moved his fingers faster inside your hole, your slick dripping down his hands and he groaned at the sight. He fisted his throbbing hard cock with his other hand each moan and whimper going straight to his dick "do you think you can handle a third baby girl?" he asked. You mewled savouring the sounds of your new nickname "no but do it anyway" you urged.

Your conflicting words made him hesitate but he slid a third finger into your soaked pussy. It was incredibly tight, his fingers stretched you out more than you thought and you cried your hands fisted the pillows and he moved his fingers agonizingly slow but his thumb circled your clit at incredible speed. "Holy shit todo i'm cumming" you screeched fucking yourself on his fingers as he pumped them slowly. you convulsed under him and came all over his fingers, a sight etched into his memory eternally. "Look at that" he chuckled sticking his fingers out in front of you to clean them off, you swirled your tongue around his digits tasting yourself as he lined his cock up with your entrance.

The tip of his erection blushed pink and gleamed with the beads of precum pearling at the tip "are you on the pill?" he asked and you nodded. He guided his throbbing cock into your pussy and he groaned feeling the warmth swallow his rational thought "holy fuck" he groaned staying still for a minute "are you okay todo?" you asked, turning your head to see him better "y-your just really warm 'nd you're so fucking tight" his words left goosebumps on your skin and you gripped the bedsheets "god, fuck please move todoroki I need you so much" you begged, tears welling in your eyes and black drips of mascara smeared on the pillow.

He calmed his shallow breathing and began thrusting at a relatively slow pace. His hands gripped your hair and pulled slightly "ah! Todoroki! F-fuck please go faster" you cried moaning loudly. All your highschool fantasies paled in comparison to what was happening. He sped up his thrusts keeping his grip on your hair and you moved your hips back fucking yourself on his cock while he thrust quickly. He pulled your hair and a carnal moan was ripped from you, he had to stop and use all his will not to cum right then and there. That sound. That moan. He caused that just by...

he yanked your hair and you cried out again, the sensation was thrilling, your chest being pulled up and hair being pulled, it hurt, your ribs and stomach burned but it felt so good having him pull you back with just his hand, strings of moans escaped your lips and he licked his lips "you like that?" he asked and your heaved breaths were interrupted with soft whines "yes fuck yes please fuck me harder todo" you pleaded and his eyes shot open. His grip on your hair tightened and he slammed his cock back into you, he tugged your hair straining your neck as he pounded ruthlessly into your soaking cunt. He wore a shit-eating smirk excited about this new discovery, he leaned forward pulling you back like your hair was a leash and whispered and your ear "I can't wait to tell the rest of the boys about how good I fucked you, they'll never even get to experience it" his words made you tremble the pleasure he inflicted in your body bubbling in your stomach, your juices dribbled down his cock.

"Oh I don't know, kaminari might take me up on the offer" you teased, sewing seeds of jealousy under his skin, he growled his grip on your hair tightening with a vicious glare. His dual coloured eyes nearly swallowed by his pupils and he angled his cock so he was hitting your g-spot. The sounds coming from you were lewder than anything he had imagined, your moans filled the dorms the squelching sounds and the skin slapping on skin echoed in a perfect rhythm. "You think kaminari could fuck you like this babygirl?" he snarled (yes) moving his other hand to your clit flicking his thumb over it quickly and you gasped followed by a mewl "NO! God fuck no todoroki no one can fuck me like you do!" you bit your lip holding back your moans "what did I say about you biting your lip" he growled and turned your neck forcefully capturing your lips in his.

His teeth grazed your bottom lip and you moaned into his mouth. The sensation of him pulling your hair, biting your lip, and slamming his hips against yours, fucking you so carelessly became too much and you erupted. A sinful moan fell from your lips and a pathetic whimper of his name hung on the tip of your tongue, your mouth hung open and your eyes rolled back the rest of your body fell forward, suspended by his hand grasping your hair as you came on his cock. His fingers collected some of your cum and he sucked the nectar from his fingers. You uttered a string of curses as he continued fucking himself into your overstimulated cunt.

He buried his length inside of you and released with a guttural moan shooting thick ropes of cum inside you. He stilled catching his breath before pulling out and tucking his flaccid cock back into his boxers. He looked at you fucked out on the bed and chuckled lowly "was that good (y/n)?" he said wrapping his hand in your hair and pulling you back once again. You purred and attempted a nod "i'm babygirl now sorry I don't know who (y/n) is" your scratchy voice cracked, throat raw from screaming and he smirked "mhm you fucked me so good" you continued and pointed to your dress. "Wait you want to go back to the party?" he asked looking at the raving lights of hall Gamma through his window "mhm" you confirmed and attempted to stand only to collapse back onto the floor "I don't know how much more "dancing" I'll be doing though" you chuckled.

He handed you your dress and panties then a thought crossed his mind and he snatched his panties back off of you. Stuffing them in his pocket. "Todoroki... I need those back" you emphasised the need showing off your red pussy dripping with your combined cum "no I don't think you do" he gave you a lopsided grin and zipped your dress back up for you "you have to go through the rest of the party like this" he said and you panicked "consider it a punishment for flirting with kaminari" he growled and picked you up hoisting you onto his back, not caring about how much mess got on his shirt, he could just cover the mess with his jacket when he got back.

He set you down when you reached the doors and put his arms through his suit jacket to hide the wet patch on his shirt. He helped you into the building no one paying attention to your entrance except the table of boys who had been waiting impatiently for an hour and a half. All fantasising about what you were doing with todoroki, each wishing it was them, all hiding their lap with their jackets. They looked you up and down sucking in a breath at the sight of your exasperated form, completely fucked out and hanging onto todoroki like he was life support, all eyes especially attracted to the white fluid trickling down your leg.

Todoroki set you on the booth seat with the rest of the table and you prayed they don't put the UV lights on you curled up and pulled your fur jacket over your legs so no one would see the mess under your dress. "None of you. Will ever be able to fuck me like that" you pointed to the boys who collectively smirked "that sounds like a challenge sweet cheeks" bakugo's hands popped singing his suit jacket. You sat up slowly and squinted your eyes sizing them up. "Bring it" you muttered and it was a race to get to you first.

[thatonesadending]

Molly gets to finally see his room in Caleb's tower, and it was more than he could handle - Chapter 4

He didn’t know what he had been expecting when he first crossed through the Tower’s door, but it definitely wasn't this. It had nearly knocked him down when he entered that first floor, and then he looked up and felt as though he couldn’t breathe. Eventually, he found his words again and asked Caleb where they were and what this place was, even though he knew he couldn't really take in any more information. As it was, he was having issues keeping up with just the Nien’s physical changes, let alone their achievements. The ones they earned without him.

When Caleb had taken him to the level that was floor to ceiling filled with books, and massive creation of light and color that was obviously a representation of his own artwork, he simply lost all ability to process at all. He couldn’t take in the mixing of both of them. Of Caleb and Molly. Here in this man’s home. He stared for a long time at the glass, and how it made the books around it dance with life. Thankfully Caduceus, whom Molly was pretty sure was just a saint cover in velvety fur, came and saved him.

“They found me after you were gone, but they never forgot you. They all mourned in their own ways, but this -” The firbog pointed his staff at the stained glass,”- this was Caleb’s way of honoring you and the way you impacted all of them. Showing the others that he shared their pain, and joy. It’s really what this whole place is about, Caleb showing through magic what he does not convey through words, how much he loves his friends. I think …” Caduceus paused, considering his words, “I think that you never really stopped being with them, in a way. Something about you changed them all. I think you will find that out on your own, in time.”

Molly was thankful but overwhelmed by the man’s wisdom. He continued to ask questions of him, not really taking in most of the answers, but feeling cared for nonetheless.

It wasn’t until Caleb had said he had a room for Molly, and for some reason that had bothered Beau, that he began to feel uneasy again. Not unwanted or unwelcomed, just that he didn't belong. He still took the wizard’s hand, and they floated to nearly the top.

“Ja, so, I must confess I should have thought ahead and moved your room with the others. I promise the next time I cast it, I will.” Good to know that Caleb was still self-deprecating.

“Darling, I had to float here like a feather for what, 5 extra seconds? I think I will survive. ” Molly tried to reassure him, but Caleb just wrinkled his nose a bit before responding.

“Nien. It’s not that. Ah, well - this is your door.” He pointed to one that looked the same as the other 8 doors. “It will only open for now for me. But I promise that if you have one of the cats come to get me, I will open it immediately. That is if you choose to stay, that is up to you.” There were too many questions that statement produced for Molly. Why would it only open for Caleb? Cats? Why would he refuse a bed and clean clothes? He just wanted to lay down, try to sleep, but also try and not think about the fact that apparently, he had been dead not just an hour ago, and Lucien had been trying to kill his friends using his face. He was too over his head though to ask any of his questions and just nodded his head in acceptance.

Nothing could have prepared him for this next door. Molly knew he had almost immediately frozen on entering, and he could hear Caleb asking him if he was ok. But he couldn’t move or speak, just …. stare.

He had just walked into a beautiful circus tent, the fabric striped with cream and sun-faded red. The top of which was impossibly tall, and had a trapeze of sorts, like that he used to adore practicing on while Yasha spotted him. Underneath was a ridiculously large bed, almost as though it was a mat to catch him if he fell from the swing above, but it was big enough to hold all of the Mighty Nien. But it was the swirl of colors that really struck him.

The bed was not made up neatly, but rather a pleasantly lived-in pile of pillows of every texture and shape he could have thought of, as well as different blankets of different designs that all seem to somehow compliment and contrast each other perfectly. It looked like the perfect embodiment of cozy and sensual.

There was also an overly ornate armoire that was the boldest shade of red Molly had ever seen, matched only by its accompanying vanity with more little drawers than Molly could count in common, and a large dresser that held the promise of holding anything he could think of putting in it. However, despite all of these wonderful things, none if it is what really caught Molly’s attention

He hadn't even realized that he had drifted to the middle of the room, pulled there by magic or aw, he didn't know nor care. He was gazing at the far side of the room, where 2/3s of the tent stopped and were interrupted by the far most beautiful part of the tower he had yet to see.

“Ja, yes let me open it for you.” Caleb said from behind him, but Molly wasn't sure he wanted Caleb to touch the artwork he was looking at. “Give me just a moment darling.”He whispered, Caleb stopped and patiently stood by his side once more, and waited. IIt matched in style to the same stained glad he had seen down in the library, only this window stretched and arched to meet the top of the canvas of the tent, and seemed to glow with the almost holy light that backlit it.

The glass was mostly that of a night sky, unrealistically peppered with close together stars. However, where the stars would have gathered to be galalexies, Molly could see images. Depictions of memories.

He stepped closer to get a better look and was shocked at the emotion that shards of colors glass could remind him of. Some of the art was scenes of him and moments with the Mighty Nien. Him teaching Jester how to read cards. His swords out in front of him protecting Nott. Him pushing Caleb incredibly close to a wall in a sewer. A bowl of fruit covering his most intimate parts while a crown teetered on his head. Beau flipping him off in one of their regular exchanges …. And Molly kissing Caleb on the forehead.

That last depiction wasn't quite how he remembered it. Caleb had a far off, terrified look about him, which was accurate. But he did not remember placing a hand to the redded cheek he had slapped while kissing Caleb almost reverently on the soft skin of his temple. Of course, he remembers the strike to stir him, and the kiss to bring him back, but the closeness ... It was most certainly from Caleb’s perspective, but the intimacy was more than Molly thought it had meant at the time.

However still, scattered amongst all the scenes, were ones that he had never shared with the wizard. Scenes from his life at the circus. Scenes depicting the first time he balanced on a rope. His first Ale. His first piercing. Him and Yasha lounging in a field of flowers, swapping stories of whatever had transpired the night before. She was the constant in all of these images. These were the stories she must have shared with Caleb to make these memories dance with the light of the glass. She didn't share the dark ones of finding him alone, covered in dirt, unable to speak. All of the horrible times where he struggled to find a place in the world when he didn't understand how to eat, or bathe, let alone carry a conversation. She chose to remember him as vibrant, fully appreciating life, and he was filled with so much love that he could no longer see the glass in front of him. His eyes too filled with tears.

“Ok.” That was all he managed to say, after several long moments of looking at his life depicted in artistry through the haze of tears that he pushed back before they could fall.

Caleb moved slowly and started to part the panes of glass with handles Molly hadn’t seen before. The incredible work bent and moved much like an accordion, Caleb pushing each side to meet the tent, until Molly was covered in Moonlight. She glowed impossibly large in the night sky, and the light kissed every inch of the magical space.

“This was my best attempt at recreating her, of course, it isn't really the Moonweaver, but I had hoped - thought …” Caleb drifted off in his excuses for why this wasn't the most incredible sight Molly could be beholding. “It is just that, ah - I do not know if you are able to pray here, but it is what I - well, imagined.” Caleb festered to the floor in front of the window. Molly finally looked at the ground, he hadn’t given it a second thought, as everything up and around him was already so much to take in. But stretched from wear the glass doors parted, to where his bed was, there were incredibly soft overlapping carpets of differing shades of lavender, cream and lilac. They all looked divine to stretch out on, to bask in the moonlight, and even to kneel and pray to the Moonweaver.

Molly didn't know what came first, the hot fall of tears, or him wrapping his arms around his wizard.

“Thank you.” He couldn't manage much more than that, as much as he wished he could. Somehow, Caleb had found a way to capture not only everything he loved about his life, but why he loved it, and make it into a space just for him right as he needed it the most. Right as he was feeling out of sorts and like he didn't belong with the living anymore.

“Of course Schatz, Ich wünschte nur, du hättest früher hier sein können.” Molly didn't care that he couldn't understand what Caleb said, he was too busy sobbing into the man’s neck, clinging to the second chance of life he had been given.

[sinnabonka]

Hey Hun! Lots of love to you. For starters I wanted to say that there should be no cell in your body blaming yself in any way. You and your blog were hope for so many people. You were the "you are not crazy" of the final weeks, and I'm forever grateful to you. Instead of dying of anxiety I managed to have a blast in this time of waiting, thanks to you. I passed my master thesis, because you gave me strength to see past the fear. I laughed in those weeks more than in last 5 years, and all of it because of the hope you gave me.

The rest of the msg is going to be pretty emotional rant about the awfulness of it all, and I know my opinion doesn't matter to anyone but I wanted someone important to me to hear my thoughts, if that's ok. It's also ok if you don't want to read it ofc. It's like my breakup letter to the show.

I hear many people cheering for the finale and i find it really hard to deal with. I always considered myself an open person who fights for healthy love as the only redeeming quality of the universe. I could see people's point of view, even if it didn't sit well with mine, and I would always try to hear them out respectfully until they weren't being respectful themselves. That said, I'm fully unable to understand cheering for this type of spiteful content and hearing those cheers makes me feel like the entire world is listening to "this is how you treat your fans, this is how to abuse your power over naive sheep, this is how to keep dumb, hopeful minorities in check" and taking notes.

It also upsets me that the people who gave this show all of themselves and tried to understand it to the core are given no resolution, are spitted on and buried under the rug for doing their best to appreciate the art and the story it was telling. Yet people, who just hang around and watch the show doing the dishes, with no consideration to it's story or characters, got as nonsensical ending as their whole idea of character development in SPN.

I know people say that it was good enough, because it leaves space for guessing and own interpretation, but I feel it's really undermining the extend to which the finale was awful and hurtful to the fans. There is no end that realistically could stop fanfic writers from finding way around it in the world of Supernatural, so saying it was thoughtful of them Is like excusing abusive partner because "they could hit me harder, but they didn't. That means they care"

Lose ends, characters being written in a way that is totally not true to them and their development (personally my biggest allegation), dismissing years of story development, proving that it was all 'queerbaiting' in big part in the end (hell, even the whole "Cas is in heaven so do with it what you will" is a shameful way of appalling to LGBTQ community after using them so hard.

In the pie scene, the roles should be swapped, it's Dean who should say that Cas is on his mind and Sam explaining him that it's only right to keep on living doing good in their name. That's what Dean told Sam at the beginning of the season, when Sam lost Rowena, so it would be at least a bit poetic. This would at least give us some truth from Dean for once, but he died how he lived, in shadow of his fear to be true towards his feelings and needs. And as he died, he bound his little brother to the hunting till the end of his days, by guilting him into it on his deathbed. Guess Dean took after his father.

Have you realised what that emotional "love speech" from Dean to Sam resulted in? It was writers taking back Cas' confession after they didn't need our viewership anymore.

They basically gave us love confession to get us to follow the finale and when they didn't need us anymore, not only they didn't commit to the confession, but they undermined it by having Dean's speech to Sam go the way it did with obviously higher emotional charge, successfully taking back the value of Cas' confession and making it about a bait for "Tumblr idiots"

Finale killed my feelings towards Destiel, not because it wasn't confirmed canon, but because from what I see in the episode, they canonically confirmed that

- for Dean, Cas was only means to an end, which is such an awful way of ending Cas' character arc. They gave him everything he was scared of and nothing close to consolation price and they dare to tell us he had a happy ending, "because they said so". Well, I didn't see him being happy, and knowing what i textually know i can empathise enough to say that he faced a miserable finish. Even Chuck got an end that was better than Cas' fate.

- Dean, given power to do anything he could dream of, chooses to not even greet Cas, after Cas gave his whole life to Dean, told him he loved him and died for him. I know some people consider the little smirk of Dean confirmation of his feelings, but let's be real for just a second. If someone you deeply loved for years confessed to you, told you they thought you don't love them back, you would be freaking running to see them and tell them how much you love them. That smirk to me reads as "I'm relieved to know you're not going to spend eternity in mega hell that i left you in" and we really need to stop giving credit to writers for scraps like this when it's the last episode ever and we know this isn't going anywhere.

Not to mention that by having Jack bring Cas back behind the scenes it just highlights the fact that Dean didn't ask him to do that in episode 19.

As result, I'm unable to look at any Destiel scene and not think "in here Cas already loved him and in here Dean already abuses the power he had over Cas, because of his one-sided love"

And yet, the episode and endgames for everyone (maybe not Sam, but he was seriously pinning for Dean his entire life. Wincest much?) managed to be so bad, that not even bringing Cas back or following up on Destiel would make a difference in my eyes. I know you believe that Destiel would save it, but for me as much as it would be a redeeming quality, it wouldn't be enough to save this awfulness that writer doomed characters with.

And all the Wincest scenes in the finale... I low key expected them to make out and it made me feel physically sick. Also, cutting Misha out because of coronavirus is a cheap excuse. We all know better than to believe that, so let's not fall for the self pity play from the abuser.

If you managed to stay with me till this point, thank you so much for hearing me out. I hope i didn't anger you with my monologue. I will always think of the lamp when i think of you. The reality is that you were the lamp for so many of us in this darkness.

Love you so much, wish all the best to you, take care of yourself and stay safe!

Oh my god, if I didn’t cry with the final, I definitely am crying now. And now I have to explain my partner why I’m staring at my laptop and sobbing ugly. What have you done? 

First of all, I hear you pain, my friend! I share it! I didn’t spend a second after the final without the feeling of my heart being shuttered into million pieces, being stitched back just to break again, and so on and so on. 

I had my first panic attack in two years yesterday, when I kept thinking about the message the show sent to the fandom via Dean’s fate. I have a few posts in my draft on the matter, but I am not sure I will ever share them, because it is one strong depresso, and I don’t think people following me should see how fucked up it really is (if they didn’t get it by themselves, of course). 

I want to remind you, my gentle soul, that the story belongs to us. We know Dean, we know Cas, we know Sam and others. We know that the final is not who they are! I know it’s hard to ignore the text, the canon, because it’s kinda godsent, but the truth is essential. And the final is not the truth.

The truth: 

Cas loves Dean, he sacrificed himself for him, he saved his life on multiple occasions, he told all those beautiful things and he meant every word.

Dean loves Cas, he was on his lowest every time he lost him, Cas was his “big win”, his best friend, his brother, his white light that lead him out of his anger, hatred and despair. He took a dog and called it Miracle, he was looking for a job to retire from hunting, he didn’t kill Chuck - all of that, because the sacrifice Cas made was not in vain! The message was clear. 

I choose to ignore the “Carry on”, the only attention it is going to get is me creating 20 more mails just to put a one star review there and to drop some more salty or bitter comments with it. Maybe I will read through some reviews, too, add them to my collection. 

Maybe I will one day write here an article from scriptwriting perspective how fucked up in was, because that’s what I can do about it, without throwing up. 

If you can’t ignore it, I understand it. It is painful, it is disrespectful, I hate it as much as you do, probably. 

If there’s anything I can do for you to feel better, just drop me a message, we can talk about it. I am on the lowest, too, but maybe we can help each other.

You say I was your lamp. Let me lead you our of the darkness one more time <3 

CW can suck my metaphorical dick (I’m tagging every angry post with it), but Supernatural is not just the show on CW, it’s a big family. 

And you can’t give up on it! You can’t give up on Dean and Cas, you can’t give up on Destiel! It’s so much bigger then the show itself.

Rediscover the show for yourself, remind yourself that Dean and Cas are real, it was never one sided, it was always something amazing. 

What is real? We are.

Don’t you ever change.

I rather have you, cursed or not.

It’s love, hun, and love always wins. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again 😉 Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye

[elusive---ivory]

The Woman in Velvet pt. 7

This was tiring.., but it's here! Hooray!! I appreciate my bestfriend @princessgeekface for being my editor, please go check her out she really rules!!

Without a further ado.

PAIRING: Arthur Fleck x Oc

WARNINGS: Mentions of abuse, Self Inflicted Pain.

Taglist:

@gloomybih @princessgeekface @mijachula @memory-mortis

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

"Well as of right now, Mr. Wayne, I think we can close a deal." The man in the large black suit said over the telephone. "I'm sure she'd be happy to perform. How about next Tuesday? Great! I'll see you then." The man promptly hung up the phone.

The little girl sat in the far corner of the room.

"Good news, sweetheart. You're preforming for Thomas Wayne." The man said to the girl.

The girl's cheeks were red, and her eyes were puffy. Her lips were busted and bruised. She whimpered in the corner. "Great." She whispered to herself.

"You should smile, my dear. It's wonderful news." He walked closer to her. "I love you."

The girl turned away. "No, you don't." She growled.

"What was that?" The man walked up to her with a firing rage.

"You don't love me, Uncle Charlie. If you did, I won't play in these stupid shows." She got off her knees, shaking.

"You quit with this attitude, young lady." He hissed, grabbing onto her shoulders.

"I'm 16 years old, Charlie." She yelled. "Stop controlling my life."

Smack.

"Listen here, I've tried to be nice to you, but you really leave me no choice. Be a good girl, Sandy, and I'll reward you." The man gripped on tight to her large waist.

She pushed him off. "You can't do this to me. Just let me go." The girl screamed.

The man grabbed her by the throat. "Listen here, you fucking bitch. You're not going anywhere as long as I am still alive." He let go of her throat.

She fell to the ground coughing.

"Besides, Sandy, you're useless without me. Completely worthless."

'10:30 am? I guess it could be worse.' She slumped out of her bed, and headed to the kitchen. Sandy couldn't stop thinking about Arthur, and their little date. She didn't know why she was so heads over heels for this boy.

Sandy woke up in a cold sweat. 'Thank fuck that today's my day off.' She thought to herself. Sandy looked over at the clock.

Sandy smiled while stirring her coffee. She sighed dreamily like a schoolgirl, and pressed the button on her answering machine.

"You have (2) new messages." The autonomous voice said.

"Voicemail 1:

Hey, Sandy, It's me, Arthur. I'm heading to Wayne Manor today, and I've got some exciting news." His voice got closer to the phone. "Thomas Wayne is my dad."

Sandy eyes widened. She choked a little on her coffee. 'He's joking, right?' Sandy set her coffee down, and rubbed her temples. "Ugh, damn it, Art." She mumbled to herself.

Meanwhile the answering machine started playing the 2nd message.

"Voicemail 2:

Hello, is this the phone number of Sandy Dolere? I regret to inform that your uncle, Charles Paul Harris, has passed away as of last week. He was suffering from heart failure, and he was scheduled for an operation in December. Charles died in his sleep from natural causes. When you get the chance, please call us back at 467-286-7789."

Sandy looked at the machine. Her hand hovered over the delete button. Softly, she moved her hand and fell to the kitchen floor. Her loud sobs could be heard throughout the complex.

Her coffee mug was shatter with spilled brown liquid all over the floor. Sandy reached over the counter, taking a pack of cigarettes from of the counter. Gently, she placed in in her mouth, laying there on the floor. Sandy got up, finding herself a lighter. She looked over to the bottle of whiskey in the open cabinet. She turned away from it, lighting her cigarette. As Sandy took a long peaceful drag from the cigarette, she exhaled into the dreary morning. She took the cigarette out of her mouth and looked down at her bare arm. Sandy jammed the burning cigarette into her porcelain skin. Tears formed in her eyes as the ashes and blood dripped down her arm. She took the cigarette off and looked at the whole in her arm.

"Fuck." Sandy whispered, throwing her cigarette away. She went over to the bathroom to wash all the blood and sorrow away. She laid there in the bathtub. Hot water flowed out the faucet. She ducked her head under the water, holding in her breath. Whilst she was in her thoughts, she heard a knock at the door.

Quickly, she jumped out of the tub, and put on her lime green robe, usually she expected Arthur to drop by with a quick kiss or so, but to her surprise, it was two detectives in black.

"Good Afternoon, Ms. Dolere. I'm Detective Gordon, and this is my partner Detective Johnson." The detective known as "Gordon" turned to his partner.

"We're looking into the murders that happened on the subway. As you may know they were Wayne employees, and one of them just so happened to be your co-worker, Dennis Cullen." Detective Johnson said, as he stepped inside her apartment. "Nice place." He commented.

"Thanks." Sandy mumbled under her breath. "If you could give me a second, gentleman, I just got out of the tub." Sandy disappeared into the other room, struggling to find clothes.

Detective Gordon sat down on the couch.

"No worries. We'd like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind." Sandy reentered the room, fully dressed. She sat on the couch, taking a deep breath. She eyed the two detectives up and down.

Detective Gordon shifted in his seat, while Detective Johnson took out a notepad. Both detectives sat across from Sandy, who looked pretty annoyed at them for just being there.

"Where were you on the night the subway murders happened?" Johnson asked, eyeing her reaction.

"I was at home watching the TV. I had a long day at work, and I was unwinding." Sandy replied.

"Right." said Detective Johnson, writing down on his notepad.

"We had asked around about your relationship with Dennis, and they said that you two had a 'thing'. Is this true?" Gordon asked, putting air quotes over the word 'thing'.

"I had no relationship with him. He was just an asshole around the office. He was also the guy to make the most sales, but I saw no reason why he should die." Sandy replied with a stoic look on her face.

"I see. We've been asking around the building and we wanted to ask about your relationship with Arthur Fleck. The neighbors say they've see you get quite close these past few weeks, is that true?" Gordon took the notepad from Johnson, and looked over the notes.

Sandy froze for a second, continuing her stoic face, but with a red tint placed on her cheeks. "I'd say that yes, we've gotten closer. He's very nice to me. He's passionate about his comedy career, and I support him fully."

"Uh-huh." Johnson mumbled. "Did you two have any sexual encounters with each other?"

Sandy blushed madly, taken aback by this information. "That's none of your business." She glared at Johnson, crossing her arms.

"Alright, thank you for your time, Ms. Dolere." Gordon got off the couch, shaking Sandy's hand. Johnson followed behind him.

"Have a good evening, gentlemen." Sandy closed her door. "For sweet hell, it's already evening?" She said to herself, looking outside on the horizon. Sandy looked down at her scarred arm. She stared at it for a good long while, almost as if she was mocking it. Sandy smirked.

"Poor, poor Dennis," She mocked, lighting another cigarette. She heard a loud bang coming from the apartment downstairs. Sandy extinguished the cigarette.

She ran out of her apartment, and pressed the button on the elevator. 'What the fuck?' Sandy's thoughts ran a muck. The elevator slowly closed its doors as Sandy pressed down on Arthur's floor.

She hurried to his apartment door. As Sandy rapidly knocked on the door, she heard Arthur's mother screaming.

"NO, NO. HE'S A GOOD BOY! A HAPPY BOY!!"

Sandy's eyes got wide as she heard the screams. She slammed all her weight into the door, but as it swung open, her head hit the ground.

"Ugh. Fuck." She hissed.

Right in front of her laid Penny Fleck's collapsed body.

"Ms. Dolere, are you alright?" Detective Gordon rushed over to Sandy, while Johnson was tending Penny.

"I'm fine. What about her? Call a god damn ambulance." Sandy pushed the detective out of her way to the phone. She quickly dialed 911.

Arthur saw the scene just as he got home. Everything was a mess. He rushed over to the ambulance. As Arthur got inside the vehicle, he glanced over to Sandy.

Sandy had questions, tons of questions, but she knew that now wasn't the best time for them. She went over to Detective Gordon.

"I need a ride to the hospital." Sandy wasn't asking.

Gordon sighed. "Ok, sure."

He pointed over to a black car, parked on the side of the road.

Sandy sat in the back seat, glaring at the two detectives threw their rear view windows.

As the detectives pulled up to the hospital, Sandy noticed Arthur sitting on a bench outside the hospital, smoking a cigarette.

Sandy got out of the car, but stayed near it to observe the situation.

"Arthur Fleck, I'm Detective Gordon, and this is my partner, Detective Johnson. We wanted to ask you a few questions, but you weren't home, so we asked your mother." Detective Gordon said.

Arthur looked up at him, scornfully. "Did you do this?" Arthur asked, griping tightly on his cigarette.

"Oh no, you see she was hyperventilating and acting all hysterical." Detective Johnson interjected.

"Yeah, the doctors said she had a stroke." Arthur said, bluntly.

"We're sorry to hear that," Gordon mumbled. "We still would like to ask a few questions about the subway killings. Have you heard of them?"

Sandy watched in the distance the whole thing play out. Of course, Arthur had a lot of stuff on his plate and these detectives weren't making matters better.

"Yeah, they're awful." Arthur muttered.

"Well, we talked to your boss from your old job. He says you were fired for bringing a gun in the children's hospital." Gordon stated.

"It was a prop. I'm a party clown." Arthur said, annoyed.

"Oh, yeah? Then why were you fired?" Detective Johnson asked.

"They said I wasn't funny enough. Can you imagine that?" Arthur scoffed. He got off the bench.

"Your boss gave us this card. This condition of yours. Is it real? Or is it a clown thing?"

"A clown thing?" Arthur repeated. He tossed the cigarette to the ground. "What do you think?"

Arthur ran into the hospital door.

The two detectives walked away.

"Hey." Sandy called.

Arthur turned to Sandy. He smiled gently at her. His blue/green eyes full of admiration.

"Hey." Arthur called back to her.

"You do know it says 'Exit' on it." Sandy pointed to the letters above the door.

"Yeah." Arthur hesitantly held onto Sandy's hand as they walked into the hospital.

[badhebie]

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!

[03-07-2021] Return to the city, which I have left for several years. Bandung. A town I love, which never fails to impress me. The city always has something new around every corner.

Made an appointment to Meet an 'old friend' that I never seen or talking for many years. After talking with shitty and unnecessary chitchat then we moved to an old Kopitiam around Sudirman Street that still amazed me until now.

After many years passed, this old Kopitiam still impress me. The building, the wall arts, the decorations, the ambience, the lighting, even the people coming here still same as in the past. Many old guys and old ladies coming here only for playing capsa, chess or mahjong showdown while enjoying some Coffee or Tea with some Dimsum. They just playing happily with each other. They seems dont care that now already quite late at night. What a moments.. Reminiscing!

After feeling mesmerized, we order some of their Signature Coffee and some Dumplings. I'm shocked to know that their tastes of Coffee is consistency and never change! That's cool!

Because of nowadays I'm enjoying writting about anything, then I tell my friend that I will record all of our chitchat and conversation into an mp3 recording file. So I could make the convo's transcript to fill in into my blog :))

t r a n s c r i p t :

Me : This Kopitiam kinda reminds me about the old times that we always coming here for almost every week with our friends..

P : Ya Ya Ya.. indeed! It is not every week! But twice a week, hahaha..

It's been long story we talking about anything until I tell her about my problems.. she looks kinda shock hearing it all and seems not believe for what happening to me right now.

Yes I told her about my family's matters..

P : Oh.. ( I can see her eyes pouring some tears )

I cannot believe why you have to be an asshole by cheating to your wife? Do you know that what you have done is so heartless and hurts your wife so much? Oh ibie!! I really cannot believe what you have done!! really.. fucking asshole! (I can see some rage on her eyes!)

Me : Well, things happens! My life is fucked. And I really fully regrets! I dont know how to fix this.. Yes I know I have done something terrible.. But at that time, I feels like i lost controls to myself and everything. And at that time I feels like I dont understand myself too..

P : You dont need to make excuse for youself! Wrong is wrong.. You have no reasons to do all this fucking things!

Me : Yes I know.. and I admit that I was an asshole for doing this.. and now i really regretfully for what happened to my family..

at that time, I feels like sometimes my wife didnt love me and sometimes I feels like she never respect me.. I dont know this is only my feeling or my reasons, but yes sometimes i feels like that..

Maybe because Im an overthinker person, thats why that time I lost control to myself and doing all this bad things. But after that i feel regret.. really sad and sorry..

P : Whatever your reasons, bie! What you've done is unacceptable.. Oh I really speechless to you! fuck!

Then, have you apologize to your wife and ask for forgiveness from her? Have you explain everything to her? Are you really feel sorry now?

Me : Yes I do! As a man, I do apologize and ask for forgiveness from her. I even kneel to her to forgive me and give me chance. I dont know how to fix this.. I dont know how to make her forgive me and give me last chance and trust me again that I will never ever doing very bad mistakes again and broke her trust again.

P : Then? Did she forgive you?

Me : No, She is not. She said she cannot give me chance for now and ask me to clear my self out of problems.. at first I was so excited that I thought she is willing to give me chance. I'm doing my best effort to fix everything, I do my best to bring back her trust on me. Until one day I realized that she's only play with my guilt and probably just want to revenge to me. After knowing that, I feels numb and thinking that all my efforts was nothing. What am I trying to fix was meaningless.. Then its time I have stopped all my efforts to fix everything and stop expecting. I feel bad.. really bad!

P : Huh? What do you mean? I dont get it. Why dont you continue to fix with her? Show your fully efforts to brings her back!! Its all your fault then you have to fix!

Me : Yes, at first I will show her my fully effort and Im willing to do anything to fix all of this. Then one day I realized that she was looking for another guys or maybe now she probably having a relationship with someone else already. That day I realized that all she said by saying will give me chance after I clear myself out was only a joke, its fake and just an empty hope!

Can you imagine, if she said will give me chance but in reality she was in relationship with another guy? Then I have to fix what? I have to keep fighting to fix everything when she has already have relationship with another guy? It's unacceptable for me! If she said she will give me chance, she have to wait and look at my progress, she have to let me work my best and wait me until I clear myself out, but what she did is having another relationship with someone else! Then what she said will giving me chance was a fake and its all lie! Am I right? Thats why I'm stopped all of this!

P : Huh? Wait.. wait! I miss something here. So, she said she will give you chance but you have to fix yourself first BUT in reality, she was having relationship with another guy already? So, what I got here is she probably waiting you for fixing yourself but while waiting she has another relationship with someone else? She is having relationship while waiting you?

Me : YES! Exactly! I'm not sure she's already in relationship or still looking for another guy.. but this is so heartless and unacceptable for me! Why dont she just said NO MORE CHANCE for me instead of saying will giving me chance but having another relationship with someone else or looking for someone else? Its does not make sense!

P : If this is the case, then yes.. actually what she have to do is just saying directly to you that NO CHANCES for you. I dont understand her as well.. why she said she will give you chance after you clear yourself out but she is having or looking relationship with someone else.. Haha im curious about it! Well, then its your rights to stop or to keep fighting for her! But I understand you, you will feel hurt when you keep fighting for her while she was having relationship with someone else. Well, my advice is just follow your heart! But if the case is like this, you better pull yourself out of this situation and keep walking.. At least you already did your job, feels regret, apologizing, ask for forgiveness and trying your best to fix everything, eventhough in the end it didn't go as you pleased, but at least you tried. You did a great job, bie!

Me : Yes! I take my punishment already by cannot see and touch my son. As a man, I admit my big mistakes to her already! I feels fully regret already. I ask for forgiveness already, I promise to her that I will never ever doing bad mistakes and broke her trust anymore, I doing everything already to regain her trust! But she wasting all my efforts! She is playing with my feeling by saying will give me chance after I cleared myself out! She gave me fake and empty hope. So i pull myself out and stopped! At least if someday Mica grown up, I can tell him what I did. I can tell Mica that his dad already trying to fix everything but his mom is wasting my efforts and playing with me. So im gonna give up..

*She looks confused, sad, and crying..*

P : Do you still love your wife after what you have done?

Me : Yes I do. I love her with all my heart.. It will and always! I've been fully regret with what I did to her. If I could turn back the time, even it cost my life, then I would.. GIving up didnt means I didnt love her, I just feel tired hurt myself as well.. and I feeling hurts when my efforts wasn't appreciated. Been there, done that! But I will always love her with all my heart and I keep saying sorry to her in my heart and my prays..

P : Im sure you were really miss Mica and your wife.. I can see from your eyes.. it looks empty! You miss them so bad.. (*she looks crying again)

Me : I miss my son for every second of my life.. I never felt this way, missing someone til my heart aches! It really hurt deep inside.. Almost every night Im crying missing my son. What I could do only looking at Mica's photos on my gallery.. No father in this world who is strong enough to bear the pain of missing his child. Its really unbearable for me..

P : Do you try to call Mica everyday? You can video call to him to heal your wound.. Or ask his mom to video call to you everyday if posisble. Or ask her to send Mica's picture for you at least once a day.. Im sure it will not bother her at all

Me : Yes, I do ask her already to send me Mica's picture as much as she can.. but you know what, Pao? I think she trying to separate me with Mica as well..

P : HAH ??!! What do you mean??

Me : Yes, you heard it right! I think she trying to separate me and Mica as well.. Do you know why? I ask her many times already to send Mica's pic as much as she can.. and she said YES, she will try to send Mica's pic as much as she can. But again, in reality she was fake again.. she only send like every 4 or 5 days or even 1 WEEK and only send 1 photos or videos. Do you think its called "AS MUCH AS SHE CAN" ? send pic every 4-5 days and only 1 ? After waiting for every 4-5 days I only got 1 pic or 1 short video.. She can HATE ME as much as she want but she have no rights to separate innocent child to his father, right??? Yes you are RIGHT! Even 1 photo per day it will not bother her at all.. But she just dont want! But she probably busy looking and impress some guys out there instead of sending me some of my Son's photos that I always wait like forever.. sending some pic's everyday not wasting even 1 minutes of her time. But this is about WANT or DONT WANT!

P : WHAATTTT?! REALLY?? Sorry bie.. but in my opinion, no matter how bad the father, every childs in this world is have FULLY RIGHTS to know his/her father! If she doing that, she is FORCEFULLY take Mica's RIGHTS to know you as his father.. she is doing a bad parenting system! How heartless she was.. She take Mica's rights as innocent child to know his father. Well, somehow I feel bad for you bie. You are right, She can hate you as much as she wanted to, but she have NO RIGHTS to force Mica to not to know his father.. Oh my God! Somehow, I got your point when before you said you have your own reason by doing some bad mistakes to her.. Well, I dont know but I got the point somehow! Its only you can feel it.. But it doesnt mean you were right! You are still WRONG by doing the FUCKING BAD THINGS! But I know at least you did a great job by fully regret it, apologizing, and trying to fix with her, even in the end she wasn't appreciate you, at least you try.. a gentleman's job! Standing ovation for you bie..!

P : . . . .

P : As a man and as a normal human being, its OK for you to make mistakes. Learn from it, take lessons from it, and promise for you life that you will never ever do it again. Even you ever failed as a man and as a husband to your loved ones, Im sure that you have fully regret now. But you never failed as a Daddy! Im sure you were being a Super Daddy for Mica! And Im sure, Mica is super love you and proud to you as his Father! You will be a good Dad for him, Im sure of that bie..!

Me : Bad Parenting Systems? Probably yes.. She is forcefully take Mica's right to know me as his father.. Well, if someday Mica grows up, I hope Mica didnt grown up with rage and questioning where is his Dad! Because He will understand when he grows up.. And someday I hope I could explain everything to him what was happened.. At least I have tried everything and its gonna be my reasons to Mica..

P : I feel sad for you bie.. Keep strong and be patients! God will never sleep.. If you feel fully regret and promise to never ever doing bad mistakes again for your life, im sure God will always listens to you and helps you.. keep believe it! Im Buddhist too like her.. so Im sure we belief about Karma. You get your bad Karma already by doing bad on the past. And if she is proven trying to separate Mica from his Daddy, Im sure too she will get Karma too for what she did.. For now you better stand up and keep walking for your life. And love yourself more than before.. Last time we met you look so fat than now.. Now you look losing weight! Remember you have to keep healthy.. Overthinking will make you sicks! Try to forgive yourself.. Try to accept yourself back.. Try to love yourself again.. What's DONE is DONE! you cannot turn back the time, but you can fix it and make it better.. But first forgive yourself and love yourself, so you can stand up and walking again.

Me : Yes I try to walks again.. and now I almost can running again hahaha! But the pain is still unbearable for me for missing my Son every second of my life.. it hurts so much for missing him!

If you were her, would you like to give me second chance for me to fix it? I just want to know from other people's perspective..

P : HAH? If I were her? You mean if this bad things happens to me? Hmmm.. Well, If I was her and this is happened to me, for sure I will very angry, mad, and sad as much as she did, or maybe more than she did. But after that I will heal myself first and think clearly for what I should do. But in my opinion, every people DESERVE a second chance! Especially if we have childs already. For sure in the end I will give you a second chance and let you prove yourself that you will never ever doing bad things again and broke my trust. Because for me second chance is LAST CHANCE! So if this happened again, NO MORE CHANCES for you for your life! But yeahh.. for me every people deserve a second chance! Especially when I see you were really regrets and I can see your efforts to fix everything! Its for me.. But every people's have different minds, so my opinion cannot be used as a standard! But for sure If I were her and I already said I will give you chance, then I would really give you chance and see you progress first.. I will waiting how much you can show and prove yourself to fix and be a better person than before! But for sure I will not looking for other guys while waiting HAHAHAHA.. because I will be honest and pure from heart when I said i will giving you chance.. No FAKE FAKE woyyy! Hahaha..

Me : Here we comes the sarcastic moments, hahaha... But thank you for your perspectives! I hope she could do as you said,, but yeah every people is different!

P : Then dont be too worry bie.. I hope she could opened her heart soon and not thinking only about herself, but about Mica as well.. Mica is still really too little for this! He needs both his Mummy and Daddy on his side. Dont let innocent child be victims from the selfishness of their parents.

Me : Well, I dont know about that.. I feel too tired and almost fully giving up..

P : You can rest a while bie.. And I know for now you were busy and tired with your business hahaha.. congrats anyway! Dont give up bie! Move forward!! I will joins and helps your business.. your coffee bottle is super yummy and your cornflakes is good, especially the peppersalt one! I like it.. No one's here using cornflakes as snacks, thats why I think it looks promising business.. Just dont give up and keep walking! Thats my note! Dont feeling down when sometimes your business is going down.. You need to have a strong mentality build when you working on personal business. Up and down on personal business is normal..

Me : Hahaha thanks! Yes it starting to grows.. I will working hard for it! Woyyy of course its good, it has secret recipes from starbucks hahaha.. Yes yes you have to helps me extent and expand my selling hahaha.. just kidding, Pao! But thank you, you boosted up my mood haha..

P : YEEESSSSSS!!! hahaha sure I will helps you as much as I can, dont worry! haha.. And I will promote it anywhere haha.. soon you will need to open mini factory, hahaha Ameeenn!!!

And dont worry, when I said AS MUCH AS I CAN, I will do and act in real, not only words or FAKE!! hahahahahahaha..

*we both laugh hard on this*

Me : LOL hahaha.. Here we comes again for another sarcastic moments, Hahahah! But Ameeennnn!! Thanks, Pao! I feel lightly after I confess to you all my stories.. wish me better and better OK?

P : Sure!!! Im sure you can..!

The time has passed, It's been 02:50am already. Then I sent her home and I back home as well. Thanks for listening to my vent, Pao! What a day!! Ready to work again tomorrow ^_^

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Yeah, true.

Honestly, if the story itself is good and solid, I'll be willing to just take the current design.

Good design don't account for much if the story is junk. But, a good story can make up for odd design.

Like, for example, honestly, "Samurai Jack" is one of my favorite series of all time. I have the DVDs of the entire run, including the Adult Swim Season 5 run, and the limited release of the original cut of the pilot. I have seen every episode on it's original air date, I know every bit of lore inside and out. I even have the GBA game (my brothers made sure Mom picked that out for me instead of some generic cutsey game). I hold this series in high regard, and never pass up a chance to quote it or share something about it. I even once babbled on and on for two solid hours in great detail why the Scotsman is such a great character.

Would you believe that I originally did not like the art design at all? When the pilot first aired, way back when I was 11, I just did not like the art style. My older brother insisted that I catch the pilot film airing with him, and we made it a regular occurrence to catch it on Cartoon Network at all times, even reruns, as a sibling activity for us.

I just did not like the art style or the character designs at first. But somewhere along the lines, something clicked, and I realized: I liked the sound. I liked the long pauses between certain scenes. The witty banter. The creative worlds in every single episode. The recognizable voice actors. The colors were very pretty, the art was in fact stylistic, almost a dreamlike fantasy at times. There was funny episodes, serious episodes, downright scary episodes, but there was this unique story hidden in all this.

I did not like the art of Samurai Jack at first. It didn't have the thick outlines of other Cartoon Network shows I liked at the time. It didn't have the constant barrage of humor and slapstick. It wasn't fast and bright colors and loud.

But, I would like to recognize Samurai Jack is the first thing I recall that won me over with story first over visuals. It was not my style at first, but it steadily earned my admiration and affection. I now recognize it as a very artsy series, and viewing again with aged eyes, I can fully appreciate the level of thought and detail that went into each and every design of characters and environment.

That said, I would rather be entertained by a solid storyline that hasn't been done to death, than a movie that just "Looks Good"

If the Sonic movie has a good story already, then I won't complain too much about design inaccuracies.

If they nail the personality, then that's far more important than being a 100% visual recreation.

If it's a fresh plot and the jokes don't rely on pop culture references, and the movie won't be dated in a few years, then I can totally go for that.

I want it to feel like Sonic, not just look like him.

Boom!Sonic was originally poorly received, iirc, but I hardly hear anyone complaining about the blue arms and extra quills and long legs anymore. He feels just as "Sonic" as Modern and Classic, and any of the other beloved variations we have.

If he captures the essence of Sonic, that's all I really want. I'll take the weird humanlike features if it means that we still get a good story that makes a second or third watchthrough worth the effort.

THIS IS JUST IN: Jeff Fowler, the director of the Sonic Movie, said that “some changes” are going to be made to Sonic’s design in the movie, in order for it to be the best as it can be.

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