I'm about half an hour into the third episode, and I see a bunch of people in the chat saying that the Gods never explain themselves, which sure, could be a valid criticism. But they have said that destroying a God is different than replacing them via ascending because their mantel of power won't be upheld. The Matron killed/replaced/erased? the previous God of Death and took their place. It has been heavily implied/ basically outright stated that the Factorum Malleus (God Hammer) would not just be the end of the Gods, but the end of their domain which does NOT just affect said God, but also all mortals, who are their creations. The phrase "never have existed" has been thrown around a couple times. If the Gods never existed, with no one to take their place in the weave, guess what, neither has anyone on Exandria, ever. That's my read on the situation anyway. Cause and Effect: Gods create mortals, no Gods ever, no mortals ever. To use a pertinent quote, it's very Wibbly wobbly timey wimey.
They also said that there are things beyond our mortal comprehension that exist outside this world that would take the combined might of ALL the Gods to defeat. Now, that "beyond mortal comprehension" bit can come off as condescending for sure, but what if it's literally just the truth and they genuinely can't explain it to us more specifically than a general outline. Go back to the beginning of episode 1 of Downfall, we couldn't even comprehend their NAMES. They were/are impossible fractal patterns and balls of light and sensation and sound and thunder and fire. Imagine all the other things that we just physically cannot process.
Imagine trying to teach quantum physics to an ant. You like the ant, the ant is really cool, and charming, and fun to be around. You love the ant and think it's great. You're very proud of the ant's achievements. The ant has impressed you with its skills. You want to protect the ant and you also want to protect yourself. You aren't trying to be a dick. But it's still an ant. How ARE the Gods supposed to translate the untranslatable Eldridge Monstrosities that lurk beyond? The things that, were you to grasp a fraction of their reality, they would break your mind and leave you a drooling mess on the floor, clawing at your head with madness. Other than by saying; 'look, there are layers here you don't understand, and also threats that require all of us to combat. Shit's complicated, sorry.'
This is all in addition to the "the Gods are a fractured family and would rather put each other in jail than murder each other" thing. Which honestly, that's fair. If someone I loved went off the deep end and started killing innocent people, I too would rather put them in jail than murder them. And many things can be true at the same time. They can both long to be a family again AND have legitimate/strategic reason for not killing each other. Not wanting to kill your family doesn't automatically make you a liar or a bad person lol. The prime deities DID choose saving mortals over getting along at thanksgiving with the betrayers and a lot of people seem to be forgetting that. From what I can tell, it would have been super easy for them to be like, 'ah fuck it, fine. Have it your way bro. Smush the ants if it means that much to you.' But they didn't.
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Me messaging my boss usually: of no in sorry I haven't quite finished the 6 hour piece of work you gave me an hour ago!!!! maybe I could work late and finish it after work?
Me responding to my boss asking anything of me today, my last day and the day after they tried to discipline me for mentioning unions: do it yourself or fuck off and die lol, furthermore bosses get the guillotine
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small update
ok so um I got my number theory paper today, and the TA had cut marks for me because i left the answer at 66^2 and not 4356 (fermat's little theorem) 😔 I even wrote the full proof
my friend told me I should mail the TA about this, I got 14/20 and should be getting 17or18/20 😔
scores aside, number theory is so much fun, so much fun. the only good thing here is that I know the concepts well, and I fully knew the paper (still fucked it up, because I'm so frickin slow while writing and time). and it hurts worse because there's not enough proof that validates my knowledge. which in turn makes me question if i actually do have any.
I am, in general, a person who does well in concepts but screws up the exams (70% of the time) and I'm trying, I'm trying to get myself out of this "exam paniK" that I often spiral into, just minutes before the exam. I hope I change and grow; I hope, I hope.
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it’s 67°!! i took my trash out!! i have a load of laundry going!! i got a smoothie!!
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