#4/7 times it'll probably work.

[rpvlix]

//damn. Just realized like actually half of the siblings are attracted to conflict like moths to a streetlight.

Kenny likes fucked up little guys because they're incredibly interesting, lots of questions to be answered. Kym is only happy when she's pissed so she finds a fight everywhere she goes. Ast doesn't enjoy arguments but does enjoy having new gossip material and the fact that conflict makes life more interesting. Braso doesn't like it when people are mean to him but he's a competitive sort and doesn't mind a good natured tease or some trash talk.

[darishima]

oh also ! my twt is anisechewtoy ! I don't use it much it's just sorta there, I much prefer my tumblr idrk twitter etiquette or anything -🦴

i much prefer tumblr too but YAAAYY NOW I CAN STALK YOUR POSTS LIKE YOU STALK MINE IM OVERJOYED !! followed u on my extra super cool priv too btw :3 which has been abandoned for like... months... but its fine

[lostwords-found]

Oh no. Oh fuck. I am relistening to some of the earlier Protocol episodes, and I have a horrible, terrible, no good very bad suspicion about Gerry.

I could, I want to emphasize, be completely wrong! I could be wildly, hilariously, off the mark. But--hear me out. This is going to take some explaining about what I think is going on in the bigger picture worldbuilding stuff; hopefully it'll be coherent, but fair warning, it may get a bit long.

First: there have been a lot of cases that have boiled down to trying to keep only the "good"/desirable/etc aspects of things or events or people, and discard the "bad"/unwanted, right? We saw this happening very explicitly in episode 23 with Alesis Newman, and way back in episode 2 with Daria the painter, but a number of episodes have presented variations on a similar theme.

Two variations in particular that I've been thinking a lot about are the violinist in episode 4 and the gambler in episode 9. The violinist can play his violin beautifully, but he wants to be rid of the price in flesh and blood that it demands. Similarly, the gambler wants the rewards of rolling high on his magic dice, but wants to be rid of the misfortunes that come with rolling low. Crucially, both episodes make clear that in this type of balance--something unwanted for something wanted--you can't just make the unwanted piece vanish. It has to go somewhere, it has to happen. But you can make it happen to someone else, somewhere else. And when that's how the game works, one of the major questions for players who want to get ahead then becomes: "how do I make the bad stuff stay happening somewhere else, and keep reaping the benefits of the good stuff that balances it out?"

Here's where this gets wildly speculative and from here on I freely acknowledge that I may be talking out my ass:

I think the Magnus Institute was investigating that question. I suspect a great many alchemists before the Institute, probably going back to the times of Albertus Magnus, were investigating it as well. I think the Great Work they were attempting -- the "universal transmutation" alluded to in episode 21 as the Magnus Institute's aim -- was the exact opposite of Jonah Magnus's own "Great Work" in TMA. In other words, I think they were probably trying to make the world an eternal paradise, rather than an eternal hell.

But if you're getting rid of all the "bad" stuff, all the suffering and misfortune, it's got to go somewhere.

I think they were sending it through to other worlds.

I'm not going to get into all the reasons I think that right now, because that's a whole essay in itself, but basically--the Leitners in TMA? The artifacts? All the little bits and pieces of evil given physical form, that never had a clear origin point in the world where they caused so much suffering for so long? We've all been worried about them winding up here, post-Archives... but I think this is where they came from in the first place. I think they were sent away in the hopes that an increase in "bad" in other worlds would lead to an increase in "good" in this one. Remember all those books Albrecht von Closen found in the tomb in the Black Forest in TMA, that Jonah Magnus later stole and let loose on the world? Remember that Albrecht found a mysterious coin along with them dated 1279? Albertus Magnus died in 1280; I strongly suspect he sent those books from the world of Protocol to that of Archives shortly before his death, much as the world of Archives sent the tapes away centuries later. But I think Protocol's world kept sending things away, kept trying to export "bad" and import "good". Remember all those happy, laughing volunteers bringing strange and sinister items to the charity shop on Hill Top Road in episode 7? "All for a good cause."

Okay so. Now. With that bit of hypothetical framework for Protocol's worldbuilding in place, let's next go back to Alesis Newman of episode 23. Her expressed wish is to create a new her. "Someone better. Someone the pain can't touch." Someone who can be everything Alesis wishes she could have been. Someone "free of all (her) mistakes."

But increasingly it sounds like what she actually wants isn't to create someone new. It is to create someone who is only a part of her current self. Someone who, she says in one of her last few posts, will "just be the good parts of me."

And if that's the case, if what she's really trying to do is make someone who holds only the "good" parts of her, someone who can be happy and strong and perfect and loved by everyone forever... what happens to the bad parts of Alesis Newman, as she currently exists? What about the parts of her that feel pain and fear, the parts of her that make mistakes, the parts of her that she rejects?

One might assume, from the experience she narrates, that those pieces of her are simply being destroyed. But that doesn't line up with the suggestion we've seen from earlier episodes that there has to be some kind of balance maintained in these bargains. What she actually says is happening to her--and what the forum members have apparently told her will happen, through this process--is that she and this "new her" are "becoming one... and then two."

I don't think the "bad" parts of Alesis Newman are dying. I think they're also going to become a "new her"--they're just going to go somewhere else, somewhere the new, happy, strong, perfect version of Alesis Newman never has to see them.

Still with me?

Okay.

Now let's talk about Gerry. Let's talk about the smiling, laughing, irrepressibly happy Gerry Keay we meet early in Protocol. Gerry who seems to have everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives was denied.

Gerry who underwent tests at the Magnus Institute as a child, and who, per the static over his and "Gee Gee's" words, holds a few more secrets about what went on there than he let on to Sam and Celia.

Back when I first heard Gerry's appearance in episode 8, it sure felt like a narrative gut punch: This is who he could have been in Archives, if not for the presence of the Fears. This is what Jon and Martin's final decision threatens to destroy--for this safe, happy version of Gerry, and for everyone else in his world.

I'm now suspecting it might be significantly worse than that. I think the Magnus Institute might have done to Gerry Keay something similar to what Alesis Newman later did to herself: made him New. Kept only the good parts--ensured a happy, comfortable, good life for him. In which case, all the bad stuff--all the parts of Gerry Keay that would ever have to suffer from bad luck, to feel pain and fear and misery...

...well. They'd have had to go... somewhere else, wouldn't they.

Which would suggest I had the causality the wrong way around the first time I heard Gerry's appearance in Protocol: maybe it's not "Gerry has a happy life in this world because he didn't have to suffer everything that the Gerry Keay of Archives did."

Maybe it's "Gerry in Archives had to suffer everything he did because Gerry in Protocol was made to always be happy."

[brbsoulnomming]

Heart On Your Sleeve Part 7

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!

-----

Steve's half asleep on the couch when Dustin arrives the next day, and Robin lets him in.

“Hearts out,” Dustin demands immediately.

Steve winces. “Not a good idea, bud. My ribs are-”

“It's not your ribs,” Dustin interrupts. “You think I didn't see some blood when you were waving your heart around? Don't treat me like a baby, Steve, come on.”

Robin looks at him, and Steve shrugs.

“Okay,” he says, and Robin takes his heart out from her chest.

It looks better than it did yesterday, but it's still pretty pulpy, and Dustin goes pale.

“Steve,” he whispers, voice cracking.

“It's getting better,” Steve promises.

Dustin frowns, looking between him and Robin. “Are you having trouble breathing again? Why is Robin holding it?”

“It heals better when someone else has it,” Steve says. “Some kind of science thing.”

Dustin's frown deepens, then smooths out, and he holds his hands out to Robin. “My turn.”

“Dustin, I'm not going to ask you to-” Steve starts.

“You can't ask, I'm telling you I'm going to,” Dustin retorts. “I'm the first person who carried it, remember?”

Steve looks at Robin. She shrugs, and he can feel that she's not opposed to it, so he shrugs back. She hands his heart over to Dustin. There's some fumbling as Steve gives Robin's heart back to her and takes Dustin's instead, and then -

Huh.

Dustin is just as stubborn as he's always seemed, but underneath that is a quiet fear and a sense of love deeper than anything Steve's ever felt - other than from Robin.

“Come here.”

Steve gives him a hug - or as much of a hug as he can manage - then leans back on the couch again. “Breakfast's in the kitchen,” he says, already closing his eyes.

—

The next time he opens them, it's to the sound of half a dozen gremlins talking in what's probably supposed to be hushed tones.

“How did you all even get in here?” he asks.

They jump, then Dustin juts his chin out.

“I called them,” he says.

“We are here to help,” El says solemnly.

“Dustin told us what happened,” Lucas says.

Steve grimaces. “Look, you guys don't have to-”

“Will it work?” El asks.

Steve blinks at her. “Will what work?”

“If I try to heal your heart. Dustin says he looked it up, and it works best if it's someone you care about. Am I?”

Oh, that's just cheating. How is he supposed to protest with those eyes looking at him.

“Yeah, Ellie, of course you are. It'll work.”

She holds out her hands determinedly. "I don't have my powers. I couldn't save my - my dad, but I can do this. I can help you."

And that's that.

The next thing he knows, they've scheduled up a rotation along with Robin, and taken over his house, setting themselves up to watch TV or play games or do whatever else.

He finds himself alone with El, and he looks at her for a moment before asking, “Do you like cookies?”

Of course she likes cookies.

Steve can't actually do much work, but he can sit at the kitchen table and give directions, and she determinedly follows all of them as she puts together cookie dough.

He can feel the rough edges of her grief and her hopelessness, and he tries to give back as much support as he can.

She isn't alone.

“May I ask you something?” she asks, when a batch of cookies are in the oven and they're eating cookie dough.

“Sure,” he says.

“Dustin is not your brother.”

That's not a question, but he answers it anyway. “Not the way Mike is Nancy's brother or Will is Jonathan's, no.”

She frowns. “I don't understand,” she admits. “Mike says you are brave. That he likes you better now that you're not Nancy's boyfriend. I thought - you are like Mike.”

Oh, he is definitely remembering that for later. “Like Mike how?”

“Mike stepped off of a cliff for Dustin.”

Steve's brain screeches to a halt. “Mike what?”

“There were mouth breathers - bullies. They threatened to hurt Dustin if Mike didn't jump. He did. I caught him,” she's quick to reassure him, like that's what he's stuck on. “So - I thought you are like Mike. You protect your friends.”

“Like you, too,” Steve says, deciding to table the whole Mike thing for now. “You protect your friends.”

She smiles at him, a tiny, fleeting thing before her face scrunches in confusion. “But Max and Dustin and Lucas were not always your friends. Max says you jumped in front of a demodog the day you met her. I don't understand.”

Yeah, Steve's not sure he really understands either - a feeling she must pick up, because she looks even more confused.

“I just - wanted to help.” It sounds even lamer than it did when he said that about cleaning up the graffiti at the theater, but it's what he's got. “Maybe - we don't have to be like anyone, you know? We can just be like us. We can just want to help.”

Her expression smooths out, and he can feel - she kind of likes that.

“What I like,” she says, which is clearly a call back to something else with the way she's feeling, though he has no idea what.

It's okay. He doesn't really have to know what, he thinks - they understand each other.

And they have cookies.

—

He calls Mrs. Byers, just to make sure she knows where Will and El are.

She does, of course, but he also wants to check on her.

Her voice is unsteady and thick with grief, but she tells him not to worry about her, asks how the kids are doing, how he is.

He doesn't want to worry her, either, but he tells her what the kids’ plan is, how hard they're trying to help him.

How guilty he feels about it.

She's gentle when she tells him to let them help, that they care about him and they want to be able to do something good. He promises he will, and that he'll look after them.

He wishes he could do more.

—

Mike's up next, like he wants to get it over with.

Steve wants to tease him about the whole thinking he's brave thing, but when he's hit with everything Mike feels - worry and love and pride and protectiveness and how can I keep them all safe what am I supposed to do, he finds he doesn't want to give him a hard time.

Mike's angry at him, but he's angry at him because he's scared. Because he doesn't want to like him, doesn't want to trust him, but he does.

Mike likes him a whole lot, actually.

And Steve guesses that Mike can feel his own slightly amused fondness, because the kid scowls at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Steve replies.

He thinks for a while, while Mike sullenly sits at the kitchen table with him and pretends like Steve doesn't know that he actually has feelings.

Eventually, even though he knows it's going to get him scoffed at, he says, “Do you know why teams have co-captains?”

Mike rolls his eyes. “Because they're too stupid to figure out how to play themselves?”

He tamps down on his irritation, though he knows not quickly enough, because Mike looks smug.

“So there's more than one person to make the hard choices. So if one person can't be there, the other can. So no one has to be in two places at once. So one person doesn't have to be everything to everyone,” Steve continues.

Mike scoffs, but Steve can still feel that it resonates with him. “Your stupid sports game is way less important than real life danger.”

“Yeah, sure. But so is your dragons game, and you guys use that all the time.”

He can feel that Mike wants to protest, though he also reluctantly thinks that Steve's right.

“So, what, you think we should pick captains for our Party?” Mike asks.

“Nah. You're already the party leader, right?” Steve asks. He knows that's how Mike sees himself, knows that's the pressure he puts on himself.

Now more than ever.

“But last time and this time, we had to split up, right? And you can't be everywhere.”

“You don't get it,” Mike says. “It's my job to protect them. How am I supposed to do it if I can't look out for everyone?”

“You get some help. Look - that's what I'm here for, all right? Let me help watch out for you guys.”

Mike snorts. “You?”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, I think it's worked out so far.”

Mike glances away. Whatever he's thinking of, there's the faint memory of fear and an unbidden, reluctant wash of relief, of safety.

“Fine,” he mutters. “Whatever, you're in the Party.”

Steve doesn't point out that he's already been in it, according to some of them. He has a feeling that's the most he's going to get out of Mike, for now.

It's enough.

—

It's easy, with Max and Lucas.

Probably easier than it should be.

He and Max swap, and he sits with her angry, confused grief. He can feel her daring him to say something, so - he doesn't.

He opens his arms, and he says, “Come here,” and she's exhausted enough that she does.

He hugs her tight while she cries into his chest, angry with herself for crying and angry with Billy for being so terrible and saving her life anyway. Angry with Steve, too, but that one's too complicated for him to figure out with the echoes of the feelings he gets from her.

“I'm here,” he says after a while, even though it makes her cry harder. “I'm right here.”

He sits with Lucas, after, staring at the door where El and Max have retreated to try to get some sleep.

“I don't know how to help her,” Lucas says.

He doesn't sound lost, but his heart beats in Steve's chest, and he can feel it anyway.

“Me either,” Steve admits, because he knows Lucas can feel it from him, too.

“What am I supposed to do?” Lucas asks.

Steve thinks for a moment. “Be there for her. Don't push her, but make sure she knows you're there. That you're not going anywhere.”

Some of the helplessness fades, and Lucas nods.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

They're quiet for a little bit.

“I want to try out for the basketball team,” Lucas says suddenly, then shoots an almost shy little look over at Steve at his pleased surprise.

“That's awesome, man. You want to get some more practice in after a few weeks?” Steve asks.

Lucas nods, then hesitates. “I don't think that Mike and Dustin and Will are going to like it.”

Steve frowns. “They like me okay.”

“Well, yeah, but that's different. We used to think you were a douchebag.”

It startles a laugh out of Steve. “Wow, thanks, Sinclair.”

Lucas shrugs, unapologetic. “We know you aren't now. But they're going to think I'm abandoning them.”

Steve considers. “Are you?”

“No! I'll still play D&D and stuff with them, we'll still be the Party. I want to prove you can do both. I want - I don't want people to mess with them. I want to do what you did.”

Steve swallows, suddenly a little choked up. He wishes he could blame it on his injuries, but he knows damn well Lucas can feel how touched he is.

“You're gonna be great, man,” he says when he has himself more under control. “You're gonna be way better than I ever was.”

—

When Will's up in the little rotation the gremlins have worked out, he lingers a few steps away, hesitant.

"Hey, man, you don't have to," Steve says awkwardly. "I can tell the other gremlins that you're needed at home."

Will looks at him for a moment. "Do I count?"

"What?" Steve asks.

"You didn't hunt a demodog with me, or barricade a bus in a junkyard, or fight off a bully, or go to the Upside Down tunnels, or invade a Russian bunker. You just let me into movies for free and let me hang out at your house with everyone. Is that enough?" Will's tone had been very matter of fact, but it goes a little bit more tenuous there.

"Yeah," Steve says. "Yeah, it is."

Will comes up to the table, holding his hands out expectantly, and Steve drops his heart into them.

It doesn't hurt, but by now, he doesn't expect it to. Steve's not sure he'll ever be able to thank any of the kids for this, but if Joyce is right, if being able to do something helps them after everything they just went through, then he guesses he's glad for that.

The awkwardness lingers a little after they've exchanged hearts. Probably because now they can feel an echo of each other's feelings. It makes Steve scramble for a topic.

"Mike and Lucas apologize to you yet?" Steve asks.

Will looks at him in confusion. "What for?"

"You think I didn't notice they've been kind of shitty? My money's on Mike being more insensitive about it, but Lucas has been right there with him, you know? Ditching Dustin half the time since he's been back, and before that it was always you playing fifth wheel."

Will looks a little surprised. “How'd you even notice that?”

"Because the same thing happened to me," Steve admits.

"I doubt it," Will mutters.

"It did!" Steve insists. "I had two best friends growing up. Then in middle school, they started dating, and suddenly every time we hung out I was the third wheel. It drove me nuts at first."

Will frowns. "Wait, but. You were always dating girls."

"Well, yeah, because I knew I was supposed to. I did a lot of things because it was what I was supposed to do." Steve'd liked all of them well enough, enjoyed dating them - especially once he started having sex and realized how good at it he could be - but he's not going to pretend like there isn't a reason his relationships didn't last very long.

Nancy'd been the only one he could see a forever with.

The kid's brows furrow, like he's not really sure what to do with that information.

"My point is-” Steve points at him with his spoon. “-don't let them rush you, or make you feel like you have to do something you don't want to do just to fit in with them. They're a lot better friends than mine were; they'll understand."

Will considers that. "Jonathan says I should never like something just because people tell me I should. That it's okay that I'm a freak, because he's a freak, too.”

“Yeah?” Steve asks. “What'd you say back?”

Will scrunches his nose. “I asked if that was why he didn't have any friends.”

He shouldn't, but Steve gives a little snort of laughter. Oh, no, Will is funny.

“Your brother has friends,” Steve protests, to counter his laughter. “He's got Nancy and me.”

Will rolls his eyes. “Nancy's his girlfriend.”

“Point in your favor,” Steve admits. “Still leaves me. And Robin will be his friend.”

Will toys with an apple from the fruit basket on the island. “Are you and Jonathan even really friends? It's not like you guys hang out.”

“Ouch, Byers, I thought you were the nice one,” Steve says, giving the kid a fond little smile to show he doesn't mean it. “There's different kinds of friends, I guess. Did, uh. Did Jonathan ever tell you how I got involved with all this?”

“Not really.” Will says with a shrug. “Just that you and him and Nancy fought a demogorgon.”

“That's because your brother's a good guy,” Steve tells him, then nudges the chair across from him.

It only moves a handful of inches, making Steve grimace - he'd wanted to kick it all the way out from under the table, but clearly he's not at full kicking strength. Still, it does the job, and Will takes a seat.

“I saw Nancy and Jonathan together on her bed one night, when she and I had just started dating. She couldn't tell me about the Upside Down stuff yet, but I knew she was lying, and I thought they were seeing each other behind my back.”

Will's looking at him, eyes huge, and it makes guilt twist in his stomach at the thought of what he said to Jonathan that day.

“We got in a fight the next day,” Steve admits. “I was really mean to him. So I went to your house later to apologize, and that's when I stumbled in on him and Nancy setting their trap. I gotta tell you, it was a really rude awakening, getting my apology speech interrupted by a demogorgon.”

“Try getting your bike ride home interrupted by one,” Will says dryly.

For a moment, Steve wonders if he should feel guilty bringing it up and potentially traumatizing the kid, but - Will doesn't look like he wants to be tiptoed around, and he can feel the faint trepidation from the kid's heart beating in his chest. The fear that someone's going to treat you different.

So Steve snorts instead. “Okay, you've got me beat,” he concedes. “You win the gold medal of demogorgon attacks.”

“Thanks.” It's just as dry, but Will's smiling at Steve like he said the right thing, so he'll take it. “Do I get an actual medal?”

Steve gives a surprised little laugh. “You know what? Sure. Come on.”

His pace is slow as he heads upstairs, and out of the corner of his eye, he's pretty sure he sees Will's hands twitch like he's debating trying to help him up. Steve resolutely ignores it until they get to his room, and then he unearths his first place medal from the medley swimming relay in eighth grade.

“Hang on, let me-” Steve digs around for some duct tape and a sharpie, then slaps a strip of tape on the back of the medal, pressing it down to get it to stick well. He writes demogorgan attack on the tape, blows on it to get it to dry, then hands it to Will with all the solemnity as if he was actually presenting him with a first place medal.

“Oh my God,” Will says, looking a little gobsmacked. “You're a nerd. You're one of us!”

“Hey! You spread that around, and I'll take your medal back!” Steve threatens.

“No way,” Will retorts. “Come back when you get dragged into the Upside Down by a demogorgon for dinner.”

“No thanks,” Steve says. “It's all yours.”

Will is beaming at him, and Steve kind of hates to ruin the mood - but he also really has to sit down. The downside to having them all on a rotation of heart exchanges is that he can't hide when it gets really bad.

He sits down on his bed while he can still do it without just dropping down onto the mattress. Will watches him for a moment, then carefully sits on the bed too, a foot or so away from him.

“So - that's why you and Jonathan are friends? You apologized and you fought a monster together?” Will asks.

“Yeah, I guess so. Look, there's different kinds of friends, right? There's the friends you have because you share a class together, or the ones you play the same sport - or, uh, hobby with, or the ones you just hang out with sometimes. And then there's the good ones, the ones who know you. Jonathan and I might not hang out outside of school, but I know he's got my back, and I've got his. Any time he needed me, I'd be right there.”

His feelings about Jonathan are - complicated, but that's the truth. Whatever else, Steve cares about the guy a hell of a lot, trusts him like he trusts very few others.

Steve's not sure what Will can pick up from him, but it must be enough to convince him that Steve's sincere, because he just quietly says, “Oh.”

“That goes for you, too,” Steve tells him. “Okay? You need me, I'm there.”

Will's cheeks go just a little pink, and there's a faint flutter of some kind in his heart, but Steve can't really tell what it is. “Okay.”

They're quiet for a moment, but it's not really awkward anymore - or at least, not beyond Steve trying to figure out how long before he's going to be able to get himself back downstairs without leaning on anyone.

“Did you date Nancy because you were supposed to?” Will asks after a while.

“Nancy's different,” Steve replies automatically, hearing an echo of himself saying the same thing to Dustin the day they were looking for Dart, and knowing it's just as true now as it was then, even if he's over her now - or as over her as he thinks he'll ever be.

Will mulls that over. “So - I might find a girl one day that's different, even if I've never liked girls before?”

There's something about the way that Will says it that sends him back into the Starcourt bathroom with Robin, watching her stare at him as he said but Tammy Thompson's a girl, waiting for it to click into place for him, and -

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, he thinks he's accidentally implied something he didn't really mean to imply here. He thinks about trying to stutter out a clarification, that when Steve said he did it because he was supposed to, he didn't mean that he didn't like girls - he loves girls, girls are fantastic -

But.

But there's Eddie.

Will's voice had been so small, and whatever he can feel from Steve's heart in his chest is making his eyes go wide and scared, and it -

“Maybe,” Steve finds himself saying before he really knows what he's talking about. “But maybe not. And that's - that's okay. Whoever you like, or don't like, whoever you want to date or not date, it's okay.”

Steve pauses, feels like that isn't enough, and scrunches his face up. “Unless they're like, objectively terrible. If you get a crush on some little asshole, I can and will make fun of you.”

There's a ghost of a smile there. “Like Dustin and Suzie?” he asks.

“Way worse than Dustin and Suzie,” Steve says. “I had to be nice about Suzie, because everyone thought Dustin was making her up. I'm talking no holds barred here.”

—

"Do you think that guy's dead?"

Steve doesn't have to ask what guy Dustin means. He grimaces a little, because even if he wanted to, there's no way he can lie with their hearts in each other's chests. "We blew up their lab, man, I think most of them are dead."

Dustin frowns, looking like he's not sure if he thinks that's a good enough answer.

"I guess," he says finally. Then, so quietly Steve can barely hear it, Dustin asks, "Am I a bad person?"

"What?" Steve asks, thrown. "You've saved the world how many times now?"

Dustin gives him a look. "The same amount of times that you have."

Steve bumps Dustin's shoulder with the back of his knuckles. "Saved Nancy and Jonathan, maybe, but not sure how much world saving I did the first time. You got one up on me."

Dustin rolls his eyes. "Basically the same."

"All right, all right," Steve says. "We've saved the world a few times. Bad people don't usually do that."

Dustin fiddles with the hem of his shirt. "Billy did. Kind of. He helped, at the end. Does that make him a good person?"

Shit, Steve is way too concussed for this.

"No," he says after a little while. "I don't think so. Maybe if he had more time, but I don't think one good thing that he did while he was already dying makes up for all the other bad things he did."

Dustin screws up his face in concentration, then nods. "Me too."

Steve'd really like to just end the conversation there, but he's pretty sure Dustin needs him to keep going, and, well.

He's always going to be there when Dustin needs him.

"What makes you think you're a bad person?" he asks.

Dustin stares at his hands for a little while. "I don't feel bad."

Steve tries to make sense of that for a moment, then gives up. "You lost me."

"I killed that guy," Dustin says, looking back up at him almost defiantly. "And I don't feel bad. I'm not sorry he's dead."

Guilt stabs through him so strongly that he knows Dustin must feel some of it, and he grimaces a little when Dustin frowns at him.

"What was that?" Dustin asks.

"I'm sorry that you had to do that," Steve says. "It's not fair."

Dustin scoffs. "None of this is fair."

All right, yeah, Dustin's got a point. Okay, new tactic.

"Look at me, Dust," Steve says softly.

Dustin pulls a face. "I am looking at you."

"Ugh, no, I mean look at me." Steve waves a hand at himself.

"You look like shit," Dustin tells him.

"Exactly," Steve agrees. "You know why I look like shit?"

There's an echo of something remarkably similar to the guilt Steve just felt.

"Because of me," Dustin says, voice small.

Shit.

"What? No! How is this your fault?" Steve asks.

"I pushed the Russian message thing. You only looked into it because I wanted to," Dustin says.

"That's not - I looked into it for the same reason I helped you look for Dart, okay? Because I'm in this, and we're in this together, and if there's something out there, it's going to find us. That's not your fault."

Dustin doesn't look convinced.

"There is nothing that's going to keep me away from being in this with you, okay? Even if you didn't push me. Even if you didn't even tell me. I'd find out, and then I'd be mad." He pauses. "Like, really mad. Like telling your mom you ditched me and got in trouble so she doesn't let you leave the house for a year mad."

"Okay, okay," Dustin says, but he looks happier. "So what was your point, then?"

His point?

Right, his point.

"I look like shit because of the dead guy and his buddies." Part of Steve thinks he should hedge around this, try to sugarcoat it a little, but - treating Dustin like he's a kid who can't handle this isn't going to do anything. "You saw my heart, Dustin. You think the guys who did that were just going to let me walk out of there?"

Dustin looks at him, eyes big. "No," he admits quietly.

"The only reason I'm still standing here is because of you. I mean it, man - I'd be dead without you. And it sucks that you had to do that, and I wish I could have been faster or better, saved you from being the one that had to, but I'm not sorry that he's dead, either. Maybe that makes me a bad person. Maybe I'm a bad person because I would do the same thing, because I'd have killed all of them to protect you and I wouldn't feel bad at all."

Dustin's lip quivers a little. "You're not a bad person, Steve."

"Neither are you," Steve tells him.

The kid's eyes look suspiciously wet. Steve shifts, straightening up a little and lifting his arms.

"Come here."

Dustin drops down onto the couch, squished into his side. Steve drapes his arm over his shoulder, gingerly hugging him, and pretending that he can't hear Dustin's quiet sniffles or feel the shake of his shoulders.

"You're like the best person I know," Steve says softly.

"You too," Dustin replies, voice a little wet. "You're gonna be okay, right?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna be fine."

His heart might not ever be the same, but with all of them trying so hard to keep it together and help it heal - it makes him feel pathetic, but he kind of thinks he might be even better.

It seems a good enough response for Dustin, who stays tucked in against his side, eyes slipping shut like he's going to fall asleep right there.

Steve wants to bitch about it, but he also doesn't want to move, so he just lets it happen.

"I used to be so jealous of Mike and Will," Dustin mutters sleepily after a while.

"Yeah?" Steve asks absently.

"All this sucks, and they had Nancy and Jonathan," Dustin says.

"Mmm," Steve agrees, feeling pretty close to sleep himself.

"I'm not anymore though."

"No?" Steve asks.

"Nah," Dustin mumbles. "You're way better than Nancy and Jonathan."

This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!

----

Part 8

Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt @makewavesandwar @cryptid-system @ajeff855 @mae-liz @the-fantastical-asexual @jettestar @warlordess @persnicketysquares @samsoble @my-love-of-books @mydysfunctionallife @dreamercec @holyangelstudentuniverse @breealtair @shunna @xtraordinarally @thatdamnfan @justalittledrainbamage @strangerfolks @disrespectedgoatman @amber-ambience @anxietyfulloption @thepossummoldypasta

[libraford]

Multi-paper junk mini journal tutorial (low spoons version)

Last night, I mentioned that I like my blank books to have a combination of different papers: colored paper for sketching, blank paper for writing, dotted paper for lists, graph paper for schematics and maps, but there arent many manufacturers that make this. So I just make them myself.

And yall wanna know how to do that.

GREAT!

Here's the easy version. This is for:

-I want this for me, NOW, and I don't care what it looks like because I'm gonna cover it in stickers, and it's only going to be a few pages long. If it lasts a week, I'm happy.

You will need:

- desired papers, 8.5x11 inch regular ass sizes

- a piece of card stock or a thicker paper.

- stapler

- washi tape (optional)

- probably scissors

STEP 1

Take a piece of paper. Fold it in half. Tear or cut the paper along the fold line so you have two half sheets of paper.

If you want a larger book, you can just fold it in half and the book will be 8.5×5 instead of 5x3.25.

STEP 2

Fold the half sheets in half and crease them. Repeat this for every sheet you intend on using for the inside of your journal.* Try not to do more than 8 papers because it'll put stress on the stapler. The papers should now fit inside of each other.

*you could, if pressed, fold them all together in one big group. This is faster, however- if you've ever had a handmade zine that doesn't close cleanly it's likely that they stapled it together without creasing. To each their own. I don't run your life.

If there is excess on the ends that makes the book uneven, feel free to chop it off at this point.

STEP 3

Repeat step 2, but with the thicker paper, which is now your book cover.

STEP 4

Find the centerfold- which is the middle piece of paper. Lay it flat and make sure all the papers and the cover line up.

TIME TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH STAPLER!

Ah, yes- the zine-stitch. Three staples to hold it all together, one in the center and 2 an inch from the top and bottom. If you are doing a larger size, you may need more staples.

You can staple from the inside or you can flip it over and staple it from the spine. Stapling from the spine will make it smoother on the outside so if you're carrying it in your pocket it won't catch threads.

But sometimes stapling from the inside is the only method that works. I've got a fix for you at the end.

Stapling is easy because it's a fast fix, but you may find yourself wasting staples because they don't go all the way through. This can be that the paper is too thick or that there's too many papers. I have a more complicated version of this that's suited to this situation, which I'll write later.

Other, more obvious solution: better staples, better stapler. But I don't have that.

You can call yourself done now, or...

OPTIONAL STEP 5

If you stapled from the centerfold or if you plain don't like the way your spine looks, we're gonna use some washi tape.**

Gently find an unstapled flap in the cover and separate it so you can get some washing tape to adhere to the inside.

Run it along the spine with the book flattened.

Adhere it to the inside of the cover at the bottom and then fold.

**an advanced technique for this when you don't have washi tape: cut a strip of contrasting paper at least 1 inch thick and 2 inches longer than the spine (so in this case it would be 1 inch by 7 inches.) Coat the back of this paper with glue and then use in the same way the washi is shown. This will require extra curing time and you will want to put something heavy on top as it dries. Washi is just easier.

Now slap a sticker on it.

Nice!

And now you've got a little journal. Does it look great? Who cares? You don't have to look all over for a piece of graph paper when you wanna draw a map of something while you're out doing stuff.

It took me longer to write the tutorial than it did to make the thing. The hardest part was getting the staples to behave.

I have a higher spoons version that I will write up later, but this is the punkass way of doing something for yourself.

UPDATE: The tutorial for the nicer version is available here!

[whereserpentswalk]

Choose a transformation to permanently alter your body and remove your humanity.

1: get infected with lycanthrope (being bitten is the easiest way, but the curse can also be passed on through blood transfusions, or other bodily fluids). You'll be able to turn into a wolf any night when the moon shines, and you'll be compelled to when the moon is full. The other werewolves are likely to accept you into their community under most circumstances.

2: enter a local ufo to be turned into a cyborg. The visitors are dying to find a human who'll let you do this to them, and you might just be the one. Parts of your body will be replaced with strange and unknowable technology, thousands of years more advanced than what your backwater planet has. Who knows what you'll become, but it certainly won't be human.

3: allow a demon to possess you. While this sounds bad at first, most demons aren't actually sentient beings, but just semi sentient balls emotions. When they possess you it'll still be your mind and personality, just enhanced with the demon's emotions and desires, given its abilities. You'll also probably start looking more like what people consider a demon to look like after awhile, weather that be a body with horns and scales like the classic devil look, or something more animalistic, or even something more eldrich.

4: let the faeries play with you. This is a risky one but they're looking to be entertained by a cute little human to do things to. Who knows what they'll do to you, but we can be quite certain it'll be something very very interesting.

5: permanently psychically bond to a wyvern through the dreaming. For generations humans have done this to become wyvern riders, though rider is an odd term as your minds will be linked, you'll be able to know what it's feeling as well as it's sensations, and possibly even be able to control it directly with enough time, as easily as you'd control your own body. Though the wyvern and dreaming may effect you to, you'll likely become more creative and have more vivid dreams, at the cost of your ability to fit in with much of human society. Your body will also likely become more youthful, slender and androgynous, and may even take on wyvern like traits like slit pupils or sharp teeth.

6: permanently hybridize yourself with an animal of your choice. It's useally done with mammals for compatibility reasons, but it might work with anything. This is a slow process, involving weekly injections of Phlebotinum, and you'll get more and more like the animal you choose over the course of many months. There's no actual end limit to how long you can inject the Phlebotinum for, only a few weeks for some animal features, about a year for a 50/50 split, and if you never stop taking it ever you'll end up just becoming an animal of your choice. Be warned, it's a one way trip, so while you can always become less human, you can never reverse the changes.

7: be melted into a slime. Not much more to say about it. It'll probably be the most alien your physical form can become, as you'll have no solid body parts anymore, just an amorphous mass to move around. Natrual born slimes may be suspicious of you.

8: get bitten by a vampire and become a vampire yourself. You'll get most of the powers, from strength, to healing, to not needing sleep or food, along with the requirements to drink blood, and the weakness to silver and sunlight (you still can go out in the sun, but it won't be a pleasant experience). Your body will also change a lot, losing any sex characteristics, gaining red eyes and completely desaturated skin, and becoming extremely emaciated looking. Your mouth will also be able to shift at will between a humanoid shape, and a massive horrifying maw with huge fangs and strange mouth parts for drinking blood. There's likely a vampiric community around who'll accept you.

9: become a digital only being. You won't just be transforming your body, you'll be getting rid of it. Your entire vision will display what you'd usually see on a computer monitor, and you'll be able to type and move the mouse as easily as you can move your body now. You'll be entirely online without anything human to worry about.

10: become a spiritual being. Like a less online version of the last option. You'll become a spirit, without a body to worry about. You can't touch things, but you can move them psychically. You can also choose who can or can't see you, and how you appear to people.

11: have your entire body replaced by the cloth witches. They're always looking for humans to do this to. Every part of you will be replaced with artificial materials, usually you'll get a metal skeleton, stuffing for filling, and either cloth or plastic for your skin, like a doll of some sort but big and alive. You won't have to worry about a lot of the body things like dying or being tired or in pain, but be warned, you'll have to repair yourself with new material if damaged.

(Hey, I had to delete the first version of this poll and reupload it because of something on the old post setting off my silly little trauma. I feel like such an awful person for this, I'm sorry. But yeah, please reblog and interact with this version instead.)

[aesthetically-dying101]

Law of Attraction (Part 4)

A/N: i tried to make a bit of humor, it'll get serious again (tears will be shed) reader is just sad trying to 'fake it till you make it', making a lot of jokes to her own expense,which nanami doesnt get

(if u saw this post already, no u didn't, i had to reformat it, sorry)

Other parts: Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 5;

also this image is so silly i love it:

You and Nanami had fallen back into the rhythm of working, the quiet hum of focus filling the room, when—

BAM!

The door to your dorm apartment burst open with all the subtlety of a freight train, and Aiko—your best friend, your partner in crime—stormed in like a whirlwind. She was a colorful mess, of course, all highlighter pink and neon green with a side of attitude. Her gyaru style was loud, as always-like her.

"Oh my god, did you see the snow—?" she started, arms flailing dramatically as she stepped inside. But then she froze mid-sentence, her eyes landing on Nanami.

His stiff, formal posture, the way he was perched on your mismatched couch, scribbling notes... it was so not Aiko's scene. She blinked twice, one eyebrow creeping up her forehead.

"Oh?"

You recognized that look. Your stomach dropped.

"Aiko, don't you dare—" You were already getting up from your seat, but it was too late.

Without a second thought, Aiko's grin stretched wide.

"Use protection!" she shouted, completely oblivious to the death stare you were sending her way.

Before you could do anything, she whipped out a condom from her pocket—yes, a condom—and threw it at you with expert precision, like a damn grenade-who keeps a condom in her pocket???

It landed with a soft plop on the table between you and Nanami. You could almost hear the smirk in her voice as she yelled over her shoulder, "Take care of yourself, girl!"

And just as quickly, she slammed the door behind her, her laughter echoing down the hallway as she ran off, clearly on some mission to ruin your life.

You sat there, frozen, staring at the little condom package like it was about to come to life, grow little legs and start making its own bad decisions.

"Oh my god," you muttered under your breath, your face turning as red as Aiko's hair. "I'm so sorry."

Nanami hadn't moved an inch.

Of course, he hadn't. He was probably in shock, trying to process the fact that the girl he was partnered with in law class had a friend who was insane enough to throw a condom at her in front of him-for a fleeting moment, you wondered if maybe he was shocked because he was one of those guys. Maybe he was a virgin-nah, not with that sharp of a jawline.

"Right," you continued, trying to salvage what little dignity you had left. "That's just... Aiko being Aiko. Please, just forget that happened."

You glanced at him, expecting—no, hoping—he was going to ignore it, maybe pretend it didn't happen. But no, instead, he stared at the condom for a solid few seconds, his lips tight in the most unreadable expression you'd ever seen.

"...Interesting choice of timing," he muttered, a slight glint of amusement flickering in his eyes.

You swore you could feel your soul leaving your body. "I swear, I'm not like this. She just—she's my best friend, and she's insane. That was... absolutely ridiculous."

Nanami didn't say anything for a moment, but there was something about his quiet demeanor that made you feel even more self-conscious. You quickly grabbed the condom, throwing it into a nearby drawer like it might burn you if you held it too long.

"Anyway..." You cleared your throat, wishing the ground would open up and swallow you. "Let's just... get back to work."

You prayed that this would be the last awkward thing to happen for the next few hours.

Spoiler: It wasn't.

*-*

A little while you checked the time- 7 pm!! And the snow hadn't stopped, like at all, so he definitely be staying the night.

"Um..Nanami no offense, but i need a break, we've been at it for a while."

Nanami looked up from the document he had been reading, blinked once- you felt the heat rise up your neck. 

"Of course," he said finally, his tone as calm and even as ever. He leaned back in the chair, adjusting his tie like he was sitting in some upscale office and not your tiny dorm apartment covered in band posters and mismatched fairy lights. "A break makes sense."

"Cool." You tried not to sound too relieved. "Uh, tea? Coffee? I've got snacks somewhere, I think. Or ramen, if you're feeling fancy. Pizza that I bought yesterday? I also got some apples and banana's-"

Nanami tilted his head slightly, processing your rambling list of options like you were offering him a five-course menu instead of the odds and ends in your dorm.

"Tea would be fine. Thank you."

"Right. Tea. Coming right up," you said, a little too brightly, practically launching yourself toward the tiny kitchenette in the corner.

You busied yourself with the kettle, hyperaware of every movement. Nanami was still sitting at your desk, impeccably straight-backed as if he were sitting in some boardroom and not in your dorm that screamed chaotic individuality. You could feel his presence without even looking.

It was unsettling.

"Uh... do you like green tea? Or I have chamomile. Or Earl Grey, which is... fancy, I guess?" You called over your shoulder, fumbling with the cupboard door.

"Earl Grey is fine."

Of course, Earl Grey.

Because he's Nanami Kento, and Nanami Kento probably drinks Earl Grey while reading 18th-century legal texts for fun.

You huffed a laugh to yourself, setting the kettle on to boil.

By the time you handed him the steaming mug, the snow outside had gotten worse—thick, heavy flakes swirling under the dim streetlights. You glanced at the window, chewing the inside of your cheek.

"So, uh..." you started, awkwardly gesturing at the storm. "You're definitely not walking home in that."

Nanami followed your gaze, taking a measured sip of tea. "It does seem... unlikely."

Unlikely. Yeah, okay. Let's call it unlikely and not 'you'd freeze to death in two minutes flat.'

You nodded, rocking on your heels. "Right. So, uh, I guess you're staying here? Not like there's much choice. Unless you wanna camp out in the hallway, which—spoiler—gets super creepy at night. I swear the janitor has a vendetta against me for spilling coffee that one time."

He blinked at you, then set his mug down. "I don't mind staying, as long as it's not an inconvenience for you."

"Oh! No. Totally fine. It's fine. I mean, I've got an air mattress somewhere... I think." You scratched the back of your neck, already regretting every word out of your mouth. You knew for a fact you didn't have an air mattress.

The last one was popped by Aiko and her wonderful nails.

There was an awkward silence as you hovered, unsure what to do next. Finally, you blurted out, "Wanna... watch a movie or something?- I've got the Grinch if you want-"

"A movie," he repeated, his tone flat but not dismissive. "I suppose that could be... acceptable."

Act normal, act normal, act normal.

"So," you began, trying to fill the awkward silence, "do you actually like Christmas movies, or are you just humoring me because we're snowed in and you're stuck here?"

"Humoring you," he said smoothly, taking another sip of tea.

Your head snapped up, eyes wide, genuine fear and shame written all over your face. 

"I'm kidding," he added, his lips curving into the faintest hint of a smirk.

Was that... a joke? Did Nanami just joke with you? You stared at him like he'd grown a second head, fumbling the DVD case in your hands. "Okay, who are you, and what have you done with Kento Nanami?"

He raised an eyebrow, unbothered by your dramatics. "I'm not entirely humorless, despite what you might think."

"Could've fooled me," you muttered, popping the DVD into the player.

When the movie started, you realized two things:

1:You had zero chill. 

2:Nanami was entirely too composed for someone trapped in your dorm with you.

You almost wanted to walk outside into that blizzard, so save yourself the embarrassment.

You grabbed the nearest blanket and wrapped it around yourself like some kind of armor, sitting cross-legged on the far corner of the couch. He stayed at the desk at first, sipping his tea, but eventually—after what felt like hours—he moved to sit on the other end of the couch.

You stared straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge how close he was.

"Uh, if you're cold or something, I've got more blankets," you offered, barely glancing at him (hello kitty or horror themed, take your pick people).

"I'm fine, thank you," he replied, perfectly polite as always.

Of course you are, you thought. You're probably immune to the elements.

Halfway through the movie, you couldn't take it anymore. Your nerves were on edge, and the awkwardness of sitting in silence was unbearable.

"You know what? I need a drink. Do you drink? Or is alcohol against the Nanami code of conduct?"

He looked over at you, mildly amused. "I drink, on occasion."

"Oh, good. 'Cause I have, like... three beers and some cheap wine. Classy, right?" You pushed yourself off the couch and opened the mini fridge, pulling out two cans of beer. "Pick your poison."

Nanami took one without comment, his fingers brushing yours for a split second-oh god you were about to combust what the fuck. You tried not to let your brain spiral at the brief contact.

You plopped back down on the couch, cracking your can open and taking a long sip. "So," you said after a moment, "what's it like being the most put-together person on the planet?"

Nanami tilted his head slightly, considering the question. "I wouldn't describe myself that way."

"Sure," you drawled. "And I wouldn't describe myself as a walking disaster. But here we are."

He actually chuckled at that—a soft, low sound that made you glance at him in surprise.

"See?" you said, pointing your can at him. "You have a sense of humor after all."

"I never said I didn't," he countered, the corner of his mouth quirking up. "And you're not."

"Not what-"

"A walking disaster."

Oh that fucker.

*-*

A couple of hours later, and you were definitely tipsy.

Not that you'd admit it out loud. But it was hard not to feel a little loose when you'd finished that second beer and then polished off most of the cheap wine. You didn't usually drink this much. But Nanami had this... effect on you. This thing where he made everything feel so... calm. So controlled. Meanwhile, you were pretty sure your brain was starting to melt.

"Did you know," you said suddenly, slurring your words just a bit, "that the Grinch is basically a metaphor for social anxiety?"

Nanami blinked at you, mildly confused. "I'm not sure that's what the movie's about."

"Oh, please," you waved your hand like it was obvious. "The dude literally isolates himself, doesn't want to deal with anyone, and then—bam! He's forced to interact with people."

He paused, considering it. "You might be onto something."

You grinned, proud of yourself for impressing him with your insightful analysis of a holiday movie. "See? I'm not just a disaster. I'm a philosopher."

"Right," Nanami said, his lips twitching in that subtle way that made you want to both laugh and melt into a puddle. "A philosopher with very questionable taste in movies."

"Hey!" You leaned forward, narrowing your eyes at him dramatically. "The Grinch is a classic, okay? Don't insult it."

"I'm not insulting it. I'm just stating facts," he said, leaning back in his chair, looking entirely too comfortable while you were clearly losing the battle against your own brain.

You leaned back on the couch, arms spread wide as you stared at the ceiling, eyes half-lidded, completely changing the subject. "I don't know, man," you slurred slightly, "I think being an idiot is my superpower. I just do it so well. People should pay me for this kind of expertise."

 Nanami, who'd been sipping his beer quietly for most of the evening, looked at you with an expression that was so damn serious you almost choked on your own laugh. 

"I don't think you're an idiot." 

 You snorted, eyes widening as you realized what he'd said. "Oh please. I'm the worst. I'm like, the embodiment of bad decisions. It's like I was born with a talent for making things awkward."

 He paused, putting his drink down carefully, staring at you. His usual controlled, even-keeled gaze was softer now, his lips just barely twitching.

"You've done more than just fine on the project. I've seen the work you've submitted. Perfectly organized, well-researched—nothing about that seems idiotic." 

 Your breath caught in your throat. Wait. What? You blinked at him, brain scrambling for a response, but none came. Instead, you felt a deep, fiery heat crawl up your neck, and before you could stop yourself, your face turned bright red. 

 "W-What?" You could barely choke out the word. "Perfectly organized? Don't make me laugh. My notes look like a tornado hit them." 

You waved your hands around, trying to distract him from your flaming face. He tilted his head, the faintest glint of confusion flickering in his eyes.

"I'm not joking. It's all perfectly done. You've really put effort into this. I can see it."

 The room felt too small. Too hot. You should've said something clever, something to deflect, but instead you just stared at him like a deer caught in headlights.Finally, Nanami's lips twitched into a smile, not quite a grin, but still undeniably amused. 

"I didn't think you'd react like this to a compliment." 

 "...Thanks," you muttered, barely able to look him in the eye. Your face turned even redder, and you buried your face in your hands, desperate to hide. "Okay, stop. Please. I'm literally dying over here." 

 "You're not dying. You're blushing," he teased, his voice light, but still holding a certain warmth. Tipsy. 

But he wasn't letting up. He leaned back, casually adjusting his tie, and gave you a look—one that made your stomach flip. "Well, you've got this thing about you. I don't think I've met anyone quite like you before."

That made you pause. You looked at him through the haze of embarrassment, trying to gauge if he was just being nice or if there was something more to what he was saying.

"What, like a freak?"

"No," Nanami said quickly, shaking his head. "I didn't mean it like that." He shifted in his seat, suddenly more serious, and his eyes softened, almost like he was searching for the right words. "You're... unique. And that's not a bad thing. It's a good thing."

"Uh-huh." You raised an eyebrow, still unconvinced. "Well, you sure know how to make a girl feel like she's actually worth something, don't you?" You said it sarcastically, but there was a nervousness underneath, a weird hope.

Nanami looked at you for a moment, his gaze softer than you were used to.

"I'm serious," he said, the words coming out slower now, as if he was choosing them with care. "You're smart. You've worked hard. People like that are... rare."

You could feel your heart beating faster. Did he just call me rare?

"I don't know about all that," you said, forcing a laugh, but it didn't come out as smoothly as you'd hoped. "I mean, if I'm rare, I'm like that weird fruit you find at the back of the grocery store that nobody wants to touch."

"Maybe," Nanami said, the corner of his mouth lifting just a bit. "But if I had to choose, I'd pick that weird fruit over the ones everyone else grabs."

Oh, God, stop. You're going to die. You buried your face in your hands again, but this time, you felt a slight warmth inside you, something unfamiliar but welcome. 

*-*

Hours had passed, and you both were definitely tipsy now. Nanami had even undone his tie—he must've been feeling some kind of way, right? You couldn't help but notice how he absentmindedly ran a hand through his hair, and—okay, you definitely didn't stare at his hand a little too long, admiring the way his fingers moved.

Nope. Not at all.

You took a swig of your drink, hoping to drown the thought and focus on anything else. But of course, that wasn't happening.

"So," you slurred, trying to sound casual but failing miserably, "I still don't get it. There's no way you're just... perfect. Like, seriously. No one's perfect. You must have some insane kinks or something to make up for all this... perfection."

It was the alcohol talking, definitely. You didn't actually expect him to—oh god, what the hell was wrong with you?

Nanami's eyes widened as he sputtered into his drink, clearly choking on his sip. You blinked at him, suddenly realizing what you'd just said. Wait... Did I just casually imply he's got some weird fetishes?

He coughed, setting the glass down with an audible clink. "I—I'm not sure what you mean by that," he stammered, a rare crack in his usual composure.

Oh, hell yeah. That was the reaction you'd been waiting for. Your eyebrows shot up as your brain immediately jumped to conclusions.

"Oh my god," you said with a mock gasp. "You do have something weird, don't you? I knew it. I knew you were hiding some wild side." You giggled, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks but pushing it down with another sip.

Nanami cleared his throat, suddenly looking anywhere but at you. "I—I'm not sure I follow." He was stuttering. Perfect, calm Nanami Kento was stuttering. You could barely suppress the grin that tugged at the corners of your lips.

"You're just so... perfect," you said, trying to drag out the word as you grinned mischievously. "And I refuse to believe it. So spill it. You're into, like, bondage, a sensei kink?- or... I don't know, something, right?"

The moment the words left your mouth, you could see the change in him. His face had gone a little redder—just the slightest flush—and for once, he was trying to collect his thoughts, like he was having trouble finding the right words.

Oh, this was gold.

"I—uh, that's not..." He trailed off, looking completely out of his element. You leaned forward, eyes sparkling with amusement, already so sure you were right.

"Wait, hold on," you teased, narrowing your eyes. "Are you actually blushing right now?" You leaned back, crossing your arms, trying not to burst out laughing. "I knew it. I knew you had some secrets. You're too perfect. There's gotta be some dark side hidden away."

His face deepened into a shade of red that was honestly kind of adorable. "It's not... what you think," he muttered, trying to recover his usual level of composure, but it was clearly slipping.

"Oh, it's exactly what I think," you said with a sly grin, clearly enjoying this too much. "You totally have some weird kinks. You can't be this perfect without one."

Nanami looked away from you, his hands fumbling with his now-loosened tie, and the rare, uncharacteristic fluster on his face was enough to make you smirk with satisfaction.

"I really think we should change the subject," he said, his voice just a little strained. "You're... you're making assumptions, and—"

"Sure, sure, but c'mon," you interrupted, leaning back into the couch, suddenly feeling far too smug. "You can't expect me to believe that a guy like you—so buttoned-up, so... professional—hasn't got a whole other side to him."

Nanami's gaze shifted to you again, his eyes a little sharper now, a little more guarded. But his lips twitched upward, just barely, like he was holding back a smile.

"You really are something," he said quietly.

"Yeah, I know. It's a gift," you retorted with a grin. Then, just to throw him off completely, you added, "But you should know... now that you've said that, I expect you to tell me all your deep, dark secrets."

He just shook his head, still looking at you with that faint, amused smile—like he knew you were right about something, but he wasn't ready to admit it.

"You've had enough for tonight," Nanami said, his voice still holding that playful tone despite his best efforts to appear unbothered. "Maybe we should leave the dark side conversations for another time."

You grinned, but your cheeks were still flushed, your tipsy state just making everything feel lighter, easier. "Right. Keep your secrets, Mr. Perfect."

But inside, you were already mentally crossing the line of how much you wanted to know about him. And, honestly? You were starting to think he was maybe, just maybe, starting to enjoy this little bit of teasing.

Oh, Nanami Kento. You were definitely going to get to the bottom of this.

*-*

You handed Nanami the oversized sweatpants and sweatshirt, trying to act casual, but really? You were a nervous wreck. Who even does this? You were practically offering him your bed like it was no big deal, but internally, your brain was screaming, what is happening? Why is this normal?

"Here," you said, handing him the clothes. "You can change into these. I'll... uh, go do my skincare routine or whatever."

You tried to act like you were totally fine with this. It wasn't like he was going to be using your bed, right? You just offered it for practical reasons. Because, you know, you'd be sleeping on the couch, and size-wise, it made more sense.

Nope. No big deal. At all. Nuh uh.

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?" he asked, his voice polite, though there was a hint of confusion. "I can just take the couch."

You shrugged nonchalantly, though your stomach did some weird flip thing you couldn't explain.

"No, really. It's fine. You'd never fit on the couch anyway. Not that I'm saying I want to sleep on it, either, but..." You gestured vaguely, giving yourself a nice little internal eye roll. Smooth. Real smooth.

"Alright then," he said, taking the clothes with a tiny smile. "I'll take a minute."

You nodded and headed to the bathroom, eager to put some distance between yourself and the mounting awkwardness. You splashed some cold water on your face, scrubbing away your makeup like it was a shield you were throwing off. It wasn't like you wore a ton, but you still wanted to feel like you for a minute—no eyeliner, no mascara, actually you did wear a decent amout. Just you. Even if "you" was a person who had somehow invited Nanami Kento into her tiny dorm and handed him her pajamas.

God, this was weird. But hey, at least it was kind of fun to joke around with him. Sort of. Maybe. You tried to convince yourself of that.

After a quick skincare routine—your usual creams and moisturizers because you were basically living for that glow up—you stepped out of the bathroom and into the room, hoping you looked anything but like you were secretly dying of secondhand embarrassment.

You were in an oversized horror movie tee and Hello Kitty pajama pants. Classy and wooaaaa super sexy, right? It wasn't like you couldn't be comfortable just because he was here. You were allowed to be comfy. It was your space, for god's sake.

You found Nanami sitting awkwardly on the edge of your bed in the oversized clothes- well.. not on him, clearly not used to lounging in something that wasn't pristine and perfectly pressed. He didn't exactly look bad—of course he didn't, he was Nanami Kento, for Christ's sake—but there was something wrong about him in your mismatched pajama world.

He was too clean, too crisp, too neat.

"Uh, yeah, so, I don't know how comfortable this is for you," you said, gesturing at your bed, "but if you want, I can sleep on the couch and you can take the whole bed. I mean, I'm way more used to the couch than anyone should be."

He glanced over at you, expression as unreadable as always, though there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. "I'm fine," he replied, though his voice was just a little softer than usual. "It's... generous of you."

You rolled your eyes. "Don't worry, Nanami, it's not like you're actually doing me a favor. I'm the one who's getting the shitty end of the deal here."

Nanami gave you that look—the one that was so calm, so detached, it somehow made everything feel more intense. "You've been... kind to me. Even when you didn't have to be. I appreciate it."

You felt your face heat up. Why does he have to say stuff like that?

"Well, yeah, of course I'm being kind. You're basically stuck here because of the snowstorm, remember? I'm not that much of an asshole. I'm not offering you my bed just to be nice." You paused, barely holding back the dumb grin that was threatening to break free. "I mean, there are better options, but... hey, who else is gonna let you wear their stupidly oversized clothes?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Stupidly oversized?"

"Yeah," you said with a shrug, looking down- fuck that was the hint of a happy trail- you looked elsewhere.

For some reason, he laughed—a soft chuckle, but it was a real one. You weren't expecting that. The sound caught you off guard, making your stomach flip in an oddly nice way.

"Well, if that's the look you were going for," he said, "it's working."

You waved him off, still too embarrassed to even think about how ridiculous you must have looked. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

And with that, you flopped dramatically onto the couch, wrapping yourself in a blanket-hello kittie mind you- like it was some kind of shield from the weird tension that was starting to brew between the two of you.

It wasn't like anything had changed between you two. You were just two people stuck in a tiny dorm while the world outside was covered in snow.

No big deal.

A/N: i tried making this a bit funnier, bc awkwardness can be funny imo, i hope you guys like this! i kinda liked writing it, two more parts (that'll be pretty long)

:)

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters with Tamagotchi

Tamagotchi are little virtual pets: you have to feed them (but not overfeed them), clean up after them, and give them attention. Or else they die. How would Cosmere characters feel about having such a device?

1. Shallan

Shallan: Hey, my tamagotchi is doing pretty good! Shallan: I think I might be a natural, despite never having had one as a kid. Pattern: Never had one? What do you mean? Don't you remember the oth- Shallan: SURE LOVE MY ONE AND ONLY TAMAGOTCHI

2. Vin

Elend: Hey Vin...is your tamagotchi cleaning up its own poop? And feeding itself? Vin: Ha ha, yeah! Elend: But...how? Vin: Oh, I discovered the secret backdoor the Lord Ruler apparently created that allows you to make your tamagotchi do stuff for itself. Elend: ...but of course.

3. Raboniel

Raboniel: Die? No, my tamagotchi has never died. Raboniel: Sometimes I do get busy and then it reincarnates into a new body, but that's hardly DYING. Leshwi: I'm not sure that's the intended lore... Raboniel: Any day now the insanity will start to show...

4. Sibling & Navani

Navani: I can feel you staring, Sibling. Sibling: I don't like it. Sibling: It's trapped on that little screen. Navani: It's not actually sentient. It's a pretend pet. Sibling: Like I'd trust a human to know the difference!! Sibling: ... Sibling: It's cute though. You better take good care of it, just in case. Navani: Dont worry; I will.

5. Yumi

Akane: Wow! How many tamagotchi do you have, Yumi?? Yumi: Mmmm, I think I'm up to about 15 or so, why? Akane: How do you take care of so many?! Yumi: So many? I mean, I check in one each of them every 75 minutes or so, go through their needs & wants in turn, and then the cycle repeats. Yumi: Is it...hard? Akane: ... Painter: Trust me--don't even try to understand it.

6. Renarin

Renarin: It's nice that it has meters for hunger, happiness, and training. Renarin: You always know exactly what it wants and needs, just by looking. Rlain: Would be nice if people were more like that. Renarin: It would be so nice!!

7. Adolin

Adolin: You're such a good buddy, little Shelldon! Adolin: You're going to grow so big and strong! Shallan: You sure talk to your tamagotchi a lot, huh? Adolin: Ha ha yeah, I do! Adolin: ...I lowkey wonder if I talk to it enough if it'll turn out to be secretly alive, like Maya. Shallan: ... Adolin: P-Probably not though!

8. Lightsong

Lightsong: Ugh, it's just so NEEDY Lightsong: Beep beep! Feed me! Beep beep! Love me! Beep beep! Clean me up! Lightsong: Why don't you try WORKING for a living, you little leech! Lightsong: ... Lighting: Scoot, I am giving you SO many chances to jump in with a cutting remark about me and you're not taking ANY of them. Llarimar (perfectly seriously): I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Your Grace.

9. Lift

Wyndle: ...another one died, huh, Mistress? Lift: Yeah. Wyndle: I-I think you're overfeeding them. Lift: Don't be silly! Eating will make them stronger--I bet I need to feed them MORE! Lift: The deaths of Tama, Eggy, Gotcha, Omelet, and Togepi will not be in vain! Wyndle: ...You remember them all?!

10. Kaladin

Dalinar: Kaladin, we need to talk...about your tamagotchi obsession. Kaladin (eyes currently glued on the tamagotchi): What do you mean? Dalinar: You're bringing it to all of the meetings. You use Stormlight to lash it to you when you fly. Syl told me you wake up multiple times a night to check on it. Kaladin: Listen, the last three all died, but THIS one is going to make it. I can feel it. I just need to keep my eyes on it at all times. Forever. Dalinar: ... Dalinar: I don't know if tamagotchi are for you.

[ghostieyanyan]

One are you okay with writing NSFW and to please I beg of you more demon riddle I'd love him there is not enough content of him I love my sassy little gay man who would probably step on me if I stepped out of line

(can I be ♦️annon?)

~What's that little mouse?~

Yan!Demon!Riddle x mc

Warnings: yandere, demon, kidnapped/imprisoned, implied punishment

Yes you can be ♦️annon!!

And about the NSFW Writing, if I were to write it out, idk if I should do it on patreon (because patreon was a way for me to not get those "im underage and-" comments). i think what I'll do is post suggestive content (stories/writing) and you could get the full in patreon.

But im also worried on how to write them~~ (in, out, in, out) i'll try tho!!

Also im so happy how this came out!!! the drawing mainly lol

~~~

You were laying in Riddle's bed, staring at the ceiling. That's all you could really do...

Riddle was off for one of his house warden meetings and wouldn't be back for some time... you could try to escape...? But you knew it'll leave you more empty then if you just stayed.

You were stuck in Riddle's kingdom... if you even peeked outside, Riddle had order his card knights and report anything and everything they see you doing. Riddle will discipline you for just "looking at the roses on the top floor."

"You could have waited for me, I'd walk you there myself. You have to understand how dangerous it is for you out there... "

You turned to get in a comfier spot. Riddle did bring you thinks to do.. but could you imagine what he thinks are "fun things to do" in this room? He mainly just gave you school textbooks or books for academics...

"Thanks Riddle's mom... You've created a monster..."

"Haha!! just you wait to see her in person, she's much worst."

You didn't have to look at who it was. like clock work, Trey came in with your lunch. Riddle had you on a strict schedule and he order everyone in Heartslaybul to follow them.

~ you have an hour of walking around the garden while being guarded by 10 card soldiers.

~ you must have tea time at 4

~ you must wake up at 7 and sleep at 9

just to name a few..

you heard the clicks of the dishes that Trey has made for you..

"Please come to the table, Riddle will not be happy if he finds a crumb in your bed, heh."

"im not hungry..."

Trey sighs and walked to the bed . he sat down and started to rub your back.

"come on~ you know you'll get in trouble if you dont eat. I'll have to tell Riddle~"

you felt you blood boil. the worst part of trey taking care of you is that he knows how to handle little kids. So sometimes when Trey knows that you want to break a rule. he'll taunt you like your a kid..

You hear Trey sigh and stand up.

"I give the you the time for me to put everything back onto the tray and walk out that door. and when i do walk out that door, you'll not have lunch and i'll have to tell Riddle."

you didn't respond and watched as trey walked away. slowly placing each dish, back onto the trap, and heading to they door. he looked back at you, to give you another chance...

you just huffed and turned the other way.

you didnt even realized that you were holding your breathe until you heard the door click close and you let out a sigh..

you were in for it now...

~

It was late, Riddle should have been back now…

You felt the uneasiness in your stomach… You just wanted all of this to end. To be back where you were, without Riddle.

You were about to fall asleep but you were interrupted by a door slamming open. You jumped from where you were on the bed and looked at the door.

There was Riddle, a very unhappy Riddle.

~~~

~~~

[jenny-in-a-jar]

🖤💙 4 days until my Surgery 💙🖤

(Picture taken Dec 9th, 2023)

I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey 🏳️‍⚧️ So see part 7 below the cut.

Part 1 here

As the summer was ending, I got really lucky! A lesbian hairstylist (who helped organize the drag show I went in the last update) gave my name to this sales lady who sold accounting work to like companies and she needed help with researching CEO and CFO types. And she paid me out of pocket and honestly it was pretty easy internet research using Google. I felt like a little rat scurrying across the Internet 🐀 So, thank you lesbians 🙏🙏

(Picture taken Nov 6th, 2022)

Apparently I really impressed her so she got me hired full time as a sales admin for her company (I wouldn't have gotten with my lack of a college degree without her) and I've had that job since! And a lot of my transition wouldn't be possible without the pay and benefits of this job. Also this is my first job where I get gendered correctly and I'm slowly getting less anxious about going to the bathroom at work 🥰

She honestly mom'd up on me and bought me a bunch of new business casual clothes for the job. And here's an example of one of my new work outfits 😁

(Picture taken Nov 14, 2022)

Bc of the new job I was able to afford a lot more things for transitioning! Like voice training. I remember when I first cracked I tried to just teach myself using videos but I wasn't good at it 😅 Also a friend during the summer of 2022 helped me and I did make some progress with her help. But, I started making a lot more progress once I started seeing a speech therapist. But, there was a barrier since I could tell she hadn't worked too much with trans people. I went to a speech therapist bc it was covered by my insurance but she moved and then I couldn't find anyone for insurance covered speech therapy. So, I eventually just paid for lessons Your Lessons Now. And, honestly it's going a lot better! It's really nice to be able to talk about my frustrations with voice training with another transfem. The biggest thing I'm learning from here is how to break the bad habit of pitching up my voice by squeezing my vocal chords.

(Picture taken Sept 8th, 2023)

I had also switched to injections and I highly recommend it! A friend even made my first two vials into earrings 🔥

I also got a lot lazier with makeup 😅 I do eyeliner wings, mascara, and blush for when I go into the office. Which for a bunch of accountants means I do about as much makeup that is normal for the women in the office 🤷‍♀️

(Pictures taken October 31st and December 2nd of 2022)

These were two notable exceptions. I really love the makeup I did for the Halloween of 2022 bc I decided to go as a ghost-type trainer. And the one on the right is when I learned how to use concealer to cover my 'raccoon eyes' as my dad liked to call them 🦝

Also this would be a good time to mention something I probably should've mentioned earlier 😅 I never learned how to use foundation. I know it's easy but I have a weird mental block around it 🤷‍♀️ But, in the summer of 2021 I started doing twice daily skincare routine for my face. Which took me from a very acne heavy face to people being surprised I'm not wearing foundation. Also the routine is really nice. Would recommend to those who want to get rid of their acne (send an ask if you want to know specifics).

(Picture taken Aug 20, 2023)

Romance update since I've been doing that lol: Well, things ended with all the girlfriends I had so I am down to 1 partner. And I got caught in a romance scam for a few months 😭 However, I can't really complain because I got engaged!!! It was so sweet in cute. My partner and I had this date the night before Valentine's Day under a statue outside of a local art museum. We read sapphic poetry by candle light and then they popped the question 🥰🥰

But, I say another big part of this era was I made a lot more local trans friends. Went to a good amount of house parties which would've surprised pre-transition me! And I really love my community of queer people I've been building 🥺🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️💕

(Picture taken July 21st, 2023)

Oh yeah!! I also started laser hair removal at the beginning of 2021 as well. Which was before this era but time is a lie. But the new job definitely made it easier to afford.

The biggest step for my transition was getting my surgeries set up!! And my FFS (facial feminization surgery) marks the end of this era. Below was the last picture I took before my FFS.

(Picture taken Feb 17th, 2024)

So, in my next update, I'll be showing my post-op pictures once most of the swelling went down. See you tomorrow!! 😁✌️

Next Part Here

[knoxic]

A kiss may ruin a human life.

Oscar Wilde

-Masterlist- part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4

wc: 2,1k

warnings: miscommunications (but really there's almost no communication at all), self deprecating thoughts, mentions of death, ptsd, insomnia, anxiety, grief(?), angst,

i think that's it but please let me know if there's anything else!

a/n: this work implies that Hotch heard Haley's last breath. timeline is around season 6-7 but it doesn't really matter. this is heavily based on my own experience from death and hearing someone's last breath. Hotch is a little out of character but it'll get better i promise, this was supposed to be something just for myself but i decided to post it, that being said, im already writing part 2!

no use of y/n!

He was distant. 

He kept avoiding you, every day, even when you got back to the hotel and had no other choice but to be around each other, he showered and said some casual phrases that could damn well be said to a stranger.

You tried to understand, he was stressed and haven't slept well in days but, fuck, wasn't it happening to everyone else? And they weren't avoiding you...

Asking if he wanted something to eat or if he wanted that shitty coffee just got you a cold and empty answer. "No, thanks.", "I've had enough for today, thank you.", "I'll just finish some files," and etc. Sure he was polite, you don't think Hotch could be rude even if he wanted to, at least not with someone he was close to, but he was always so gentle and warm, had you done something to make him mad?

It started off just as every other day started, a new case in a city you've never been to before. Sharing a room with your boss meant a different routine than if you shared with anyone else in the team, late nights and early mornings, the sound of pen scratching paper being the first thing you heard when waking up and the last when you were drifting off, you wondered if he even slept at all.

The answer was no, he barely ever slept during a case, especially if he could hear you breathing all night. 

He was scared, scared it would happen again. It was unrealistic and he knew, it happened too many times already, but twice like that was terrifying.

Terrifying to the point he was paralyzed, every night you whispered that sweet "Good night, Hotch." and it flipped the switch, he would now spend the night awake to make sure that you would tell him "Good morning, Hotch" in a gentle yet strong voice. That whisper sounded enough like the gasp he heard that one time, and it always immediately set off every trigger he had of that unfortunate day.

Every night he spent with you in the same room he tried to distract himself enough not to hear your steady breaths, finishing random files that weren't so important and sometimes even going as far as writing them twice. When he got tired enough to pass out, he would lie down and hope that the second his head hit the uncomfortable pillow he would be asleep. 

It never happened.

He kept listening. You sometimes tossed and turned in your sleep, and he knew it meant you were probably having nightmares but it always soothed his mind. If you were moving it meant you were still alive, and the rustling of the sheets downed out the agonizing sound of your breath.

Sometimes he slept, but even when he did, he kept listening, gunshots echoed inside his head, his aching hands clad with blood holding her body, the sound... the horrific, terrifying, agonizing sound of her last breath.

He thought it had stopped, he has triggers of course but, it wasn't always that they were set off like this, usually it happened sometimes when Jack slept on his chest and that meant carrying him to bed, but he normally allowed himself a bit of self care and went to his own room, close enough from his child to hear if he called but far enough to not hear his steady breaths. Being stuck in a hotel room did not allow him that. He tried soundproof headphones after the second night they spent together a couple years ago, he quickly figured it was somehow more agonizing than being able to hear.

Now three days into the case, he was desperate for a night alone, to drown in complete silence and darkness. Thankfully, yet not what he wanted, you had gone to Emily's room to discuss something, he didn't know what it was and apparently you didn't care enough to tell him, or you just didn't want him to know.

He held himself from sprinting to bed right after you left the room, surely it wouldn't look so good if you were to come back because you forgot something or for any other reason, he let a couple minutes pass by, anxiously so, before he got up to take the fastest shower he could manage and jumped into bed, he almost decided against clothes before reminding himself that sooner or later you would come back. It took more time than he'd like but finally he was drifting off, quicker than expected.

"Emily..." you whimpered.

"Come on... it's Hotch," she rested a hand on your shoulder, "he's probably just going through something. I heard him tell Rossi last week that Jack was having some troubles in school, it might be that, right?"

"Yeah, but I feel like..." Emily was the only one who knew about your confusing feelings for Hotch and still you hesitated, "I feel like it's something else... he's been avoiding me and rarely looks me in the eye when we talk."

Emily went silent for a few seconds, looking away and seemed to be deciding carefully what to say.

"Listen, you know I love you and support anything you do, but..." oh God "You should talk to him, not me."

"I came to you exactly because I don't want to talk to him, even if I tried I don't think he would answer." You gave her the most pleading puppy eyes you could manage. 

"There's only one way to find out, honey."

After a few more minutes of licking your wounds you gathered yourself enough to face Aaron, walking a little too fast to your shared room just to make sure you wouldn't have time to back down and run back to Emily. Thinking too many things and nothing at all just to distract yourself you ended up opening the door loudly, scaring yourself when the lights were off and you could barely make out the person under the blankets.

Did you really just open a random door? Fuck! 

In your panic state your eyes caught a glimpse of Aaron's bag close to his bed, some files slipped out from it when he drastically dropped it earlier. Without realizing, you slipped into the room and closed the door quieter than you had opened it, unsure if Aaron was indeed asleep or if he was pretending just so he wouldn't have to talk to you, a shower seemed to be the best thing to do.

It was weird, a part of you knew he was tired, and going to sleep without someone else in the room is sometimes a lot easier, but, the bigger part of you kept thinking that he was doing this just to avoid you, to not have to force out a "Good night." when both of you knew it wasn't good for him, and it hurt.

Shower was indeed a good thing, the warm water doing wonders to your aching muscles and the sound of the water running was a good background for your mind to organize your thoughts. That same sound was what Aaron woke up to.

Looking around searching for what had woken him, he saw the light coming from the bathroom, the door didn't close all the way sometimes, you had to close it hard and he supposed you didn't want to make noise. He searched for his phone to check the time, see how long it took you to come back, but in his hustle earlier he had forgotten to pick up his phone, wherever it was he didn't feel like getting up to search for it.

In his sleepy state he had turned to watch the door, not really paying attention to what he was looking out for until he got a glimpse of you wrapping a towel around your body, he hadn't even that noticed the sound of the water had stopped, snapping himself out of whatever this was he turned away from the door, right before he saw the light getting brighter and your quiet barefoot steps getting closer, a zipper being opened, rustle of fabric and the zipper being closed, steps again but this time going away and the room getting darker again.

It didn't take long for you to come back, he could smell the soap you always used, it only took him a couple days sharing a room and a bathroom with you to know that every soap and perfume you used smelled mostly the same.

It almost physically pained him to not be able to smell it directly from your skin, he had hugged you and stood close enough to smell your perfume he knew it wasn't the same as your fresh out of the shower scent. It already smelled so comforting from this far, he was certain he'd go insane if he ever got the chance to hug you like this, out of any police department or hospital smell, just you. 

He was so lost in thought he hadn't realized you had already settled in bed.

"Good night, Hotch..." he heard you whisper, so quietly he almost missed it, it made his heart stutter and beat faster.

Did you know he was awake? Did you see him looking at you through the open door? He didn't see anything but the skin of your arms! Should he answer? No. Stop it, idiot.

You turned again, again and again. The mattress was hard, the blanket kept scratching your bare legs, the pillow made you feel like a stone would be comfier, not to mention the discomfort of having your mind tell you how uncomfortable Aaron must be that he even went to bed earlier just so he wouldn't have to see you. You must be so pathetic to even have wished him a good night when he clearly didn't want you here–

"Are you okay?" There it was, his husky voice, he was sleeping and you disturbed him. 

"Uh–yeah, sorry to wake you up." Wow, that came out so weak, he definitely thinks you're pathetic.

The sound of his body turning and his voice right beside your ear made you shiver. 

"You keep tossing and turning, your breath is faster than normal," he sighed. "So I'll ask again, are you okay?" It's now or never.

"Have you–you've been avoiding me." You could hear Emily's voice saying it wasn't so hard was it?

"No I haven't." That came out way too fast to be true, Hotchner.

"Yes you have, and you can barely even look at me when we're alone, you give me empty words and talk better to a rookie you'll never see again," you were rambling but now there was no way you would stop. "If I did something to upset you, please tell me. Because, I can profile you but I cannot read your mind yet, and I can't apologize if I don't know what I did wrong." 

"I-" God, you were so self deprecating. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way, you did nothing wrong." He spoke in a weirdly soft voice.

"That–that doesn't make me feel better..."

"I'm sorry... it's... not something you did..." Well, if you were talking then he should too, "It's you."

A couple seconds passed, they felt like minutes.

Your heart dropped, "What?" It couldn't be... you knew you weren't perfect but, to know your mind was right yet again felt... nauseous.

"Wait! wait," he was sitting up now, back to the headboard, making a calm down gesture with his hands, he did that once with a child, to make them stop their rambling, you really were pathetic.

"Not you, I meant... Fuck, it's complicated."

Now that you were already broken, you might as well just finish this, end what made you anxious for once, even if it meant losing your hopes of being with him.

Your breath was harder and lost its rhythm. You could be going into a panic attack right now but Aaron was relieved, after hearing the way your voice got so... pained, he thought he ended this, that you would get up and leave him. The memories came back in a rush that made him dizzy, but you were still here, and breathing hard, unlike the breath Haley–

"Then tell me, unless you have something else to do at 2am. I think we have enough time, tell me. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's not as complicated as what we had going on." Your voice was steady, no longer panicked and embarrassed like someone who just got rejected by their crush, that was the voice of a person who took down serial killers for a living, who could damn well talk face to face with him if they were to fight. Now he felt small, he could tower over you if you two were standing up but he knew you were the bigger person.

[cormorant-red]

I played 999 recently at @xivu-arath's recommendation, and I had so much fun that (inspired by that one polygon video) I illustrated my liveblog about it!

If you haven't played 999 and you are even a little bit intrigued by a puzzle/mystery visual novel with multiple timelines that all guide you towards wild plot twists...probably don't read the text! 999 is the kind of story that is best experienced with no knowledge besides the basic premise.

Transcript below the cut:

Cormorant: characters in this game really just say shit like "have you heard the story about the crystallization of glycerin?"

as a matter of fact i haven't, june, please enlighten me

Storm: "I know we're stuck in a freezer but. let's talk about weird mythical science!"

Cormorant: it's also killing me that junpei is dressed like marty mcfly and isn't sharing any of his jackets

-----

Cormorant: this game is leading me to arrive at mathematical concepts on my own. what the heck

Storm: kshgushhsg

I take it you're having a good time then

Cormorant: trying to check lotus's work and it turns out that no matter what group i arrange to take through a door, the people left behind will always have the same digital root

so to get through door 7 with snake missing, i could either send a group with sum 16 (junpei, ace, clover, and june) or with sum 25 (clover, june, seven, and lotus), but it doesn't matter because the remainder always have root 9 and can't get through doors 3 or 8! wild!

Storm: yeah the numbers and which doors end up barred to you is so cleverly deliberate

-----

Cormorant: i'm glad i finally checked what novel mode meant, because this is way more fun

Santa cocked his head to one side, like an inquisitive bird, and looked at them.

After several long moments, during which it became apparent that Santa had no idea what the cards meant, June took pity on him.

i'll have to go back and redo the beginning after i get to the first ending

Storm: oh yeah! as I recall that was done differently when it was originally a dual screen game... but it's much better when in novel style. gimme all the descriptions

-----

Cormorant: I had a long day of sitting though presentations and so I entertained myself by calculating digital roots

I discovered that adding 9 or any multiple of 9 to a number has no effect on the digital root, which is awfully interesting bc I got to the part where snake gets killed. Assuming door 3 was opened with 12 and not 21, the options are 7+3 (motive?), 6+4 (they’d both have to be REALLY good actors), or 9+1. And if bracelets work without a body attached, and if ace picked it up in door 5…

That would be a really useful tool to get around the 3-person minimum without altering the digital root

I’m also very intrigued by the theory that zero is also in the game but I don’t know what to do with that yet

Storm: forlornly having to keep myself from saying literally anything

Cormorant: Understandable, please don’t give me any hints! I’m just calling shots for the joy of being wrong

-----

Cormorant: and how do you know that, my traitorous friend?

Santa: “The RED doesn’t need a person, you know.”

Santa: “All I need is the bracelet.”

-----

Cormorant: y’know what i think he’s bluffing. he does need June specifically and that’s why he refused to consider leaving her when they first found door 9. if all he needed was a hostage, he could have grabbed junpei and forced ace to come along, and then he would be dealing with two people under duress instead of three

i peeked at a guide and apparently i found the ending adjacent to the true ending(?) first, oh well. time to see the others!

santa: i said i don't want to leave seven alone

me: bud you can't do a heroic sacrifice too, it'll mess up all the math

reader, he was not doing a heroic sacrifice

-----

Storm: got any character opinions or theories to share so far?

Cormorant: hmm I’ve got soft spots for santa and lotus maybe just because they were in the first group I went with. I like that the game makes a point of showing that lotus is quick with the math/technical knowledge. I warmed up to clover and seven more than I expected to! I have no evidence to mistrust ace….but I don’t trust him

Snake died before I before I could say two words to him

Or…didn’t. Forgot clover said he didn’t

I got info about the previous experiments from clover and I wonder if we’re like…reenacting the past somehow? Experiencing morphogenetic resonance with the last voyage?

Again no evidence i just wonder where the pseudoscience is going

Storm: santa was so my type as soon as I started playing that I just picked all rooms with him on my first run skugrhsghu

Cormorant: AHAHA that makes me feel better about going “yeahhh door 4 I like the cut of this guy’s jib”

-----

Cormorant: “the bracelet comes off when your heart rate reaches zero” interesting then that we’ve brought up cryostasis

-----

Cormorant: i simply don't trust him not to have a spare bracelet in his pocket!!!

They climbed into the elevator and Junpei listened to it creak and rattle its way to the bottom deck. Only Junpei, Ace, and Lotus were left.

As the elevator rumbled out of sight, Ace spoke.

Ace: “Lotus, would you be so kind as to go with me?”

Cormorant: “bad end” YEAH I’LL SAY

Storm: lkksghr yeah there's a few of those!

Cormorant: santa was really quick to declare that he, june, and seven needed to go with clover. waht's his game

june and ace could have done it just as easily

Storm: they could have! good catch

maybe he just thinks seven is cooler than ace,

Cormorant: i'm imagining clover taking all her grisly trophies to the door only to find it already engaged, because lotus needed no persuading,

and regarding the true ending requirements, it's also funny that santa's like "i hate this bookmark! get it out of my sight!" and this is a huge help in junpei befriending the girl who's otherwise about to snap

Storm: load bearing bookmark

Cormorant: good thing you threw that tantrum bud or you would have been killed with an axe

-----

Cormorant: in my suspicions i forgot a critical detail, which is that he didn't actually go into the door with the body this time

of course seven has been propping doors open, so it really could have been anybody

-----

Cormorant: "where have these 16 boys and girls disappeared to?" eight for each game and then an experimenter? again with the idea that zero might be in the game...

-----

Cormorant: bad endings complete! on to the normal ending, which hopefully has less of junpei getting stabbed to death

puzzling over who could have done all those murders, especially in the sub ending...or did everyone get killed? clover thinks that snake's death was faked. or did snake do all the murders, since he was the only one unaccounted for?...and then i remember what kind of game i'm playing. can't discount the ice mummy as a suspect.

Storm: you truly cannot ignore the possibility of the ice mummy

-----

Cormorant: ah no, so santa's sister was the kid that died...

i can't figure out the connection between events! why did the last games have the veneer of a science experiment, while this one has no context given? why was it all kids last time, and a random mix of ages this time, with some repeat subjects?

-----

Cormorant: called it!!!!

Junpei: “Ace, Guy X, and the 9th Man’s bracelet.”

Junpei: “That was all you needed to open door [3].”

Cormorant: called it before i even got to an ending ehehe

what i’ve been saying!!

Ace: “(9) is a potent ally in the Nonary Game.”

Ace: “Adding (9) to any set of numbers won’t alter the digital root.”

Ace: “As you can see, (9) is a very useful number here.”

Ace: “With it, one can go anywhere, with anyone.”

Ace: “It is, I suppose you could say, a game changer.”

-----

Cormorant: okay, normal ending finished! junpei did not get stabbed but we also didn’t resolve much…I’m now thinking that ace with his pocket drugs could have easily played dead in the sub ending

glad to see that snake is okay and hopefully can stay okay in the true ending. where did clover get that riddle, and will she still have it?

0=6. how much do I read into this

still don’t understand how we get from here to santa hostage situation. he’s been so consistent about not even considering betraying or abandoning people, so either he’s a better actor than ace…or it’s staged. are he and june in cahoots

Storm: augh so close now!! soon I can actually say things

-----

Cormorant: O FUCK

Seven: “Santa’s always in the room with her. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?”

Snake: “Yes, that’s right.”

Clover: “What about it…?”

Snake: “That’s quite simple, really.”

Snake: “You told me that the first time you came to this room…”

Snake: “…Santa was the first to refuse to leave June behind.”

Snake: “Now, doesn’t that beg the question “why?” Why would Santa do such a thing?”

Snake: “The answer is easy.”

Storm: B)

Cormorant: i've been thinking of them as a pair because it makes the math easier! if you've got 3 + 6 + 8, just cross out the ones that make 9 and don't even bother with the addition, your root is 8

Storm: B) B) B)

Cormorant: but god!! they are a pair, do not separate (or the jig is up)

Storm: they hid it soooo well

-----

Cormorant: was wondering when we would see the last cradle guy and oh duh, he was guy X

i did think it was odd that santa phrased it as "i need to leave two of you behind" rather than "i need three of you to come with me," but if he was responsible for everything (most things?), he knew that snake was there, and he was setting up a group that could follow him. excited to see where this is going!

[dreamy sigh] this game is so elegant. what a little puzzle box

Storm: yeah it is, it's just so wonderfully crafted. so little is wasted!

-----

Cormorant: oh boy [akane vision label]

"through the morphic fieldset we were resonant, and we were as one" i don't think i've mentioned it before but i'm constantly pleasantly surprised by the narration in this game. it's not flashy but it's evocative in a way that's really working for me

Storm: this is where the port falls short a bit of the original version... the ds really worked well with this aspect

-----

Cormorant: the number of times i thought "this will be totally wrong but i'll say it to storm anyway"

hello??? [arrow pointing back to the message “I wonder if we’re like…reenacting the past somehow? Experiencing morphogenetic resonance with the last voyage?”]

Storm: Y E A H

Cormorant: laser-guided spitballing

-----

Cormorant: man i said that 4+6 would have to be really good actors if they were the ones that opened door 3...and while they didn't kill snake, i sure underestimated our queen of the stage akane kurashiki

the baseline was NOT where i thought it was

Storm: no one does it like her

[d3adbr3inc3lls]

hi, I don’t know if you write for Friede, so no worries if you don’t, but I’d like to request headcanons for a gn reader who meets Friede and he offers to let them join the RVT? No pressure ofc! Love your work

Friede x Reader | Old Connections | Oneshot

I haven't written for him but I will try,,, btw I changed the story a bit so Friede and Reader knew of eachother in highschool, but they're kinda meeting again to an extent after not talking to eachother for years.

It was a miracle that you were talking to your highschool best friend/crush.

The two of you met accidentally as you were grabbing youur daily treat from the nearby Cafe.

Your partner pokémon was happily chewing on a poképuff as the two of you caught up.

"I've been good, the kids are now st-"

"You have kids???"

You and Friede were close friends in highschool, and you've had a crush on him ever since you were 17.

But to think that he had kids was insane, the both of you were in your mid 20's right now, and the fact that he has multiple was insane.

"Oh- no, no- not my kids, I-"

He took a deep breath before chuckling.

He used to be the most confident kid in highschool and you couldn't help but always wish to be him, or be with him.

"Well, you remember how when we first graduated I started a new project, turning gramp's old ship into something else?"

Of course you remembered. It's the one thing you often think back on when you missed him.

After the two of you graduated, you invited him over to your place to celebrate and he stayed the night. Most of the night was spent with him rambling on about his dream with the newly-caught Pikachu curled up on his stomach.

You've always wanted to confess your feelings right there and then, the lighting was perfect, and you cuss at yourself daily for chickhening out.

"Well, after about a few months or a year, I managed to get it sorted,"

His voice cuts through your thoughts, snapping you back into reality.

"And?"

"And what?"

There it was, the soft laugh that you adored, a boyish smile plastered on his face as he glanced away from you, acting as if he hadn't been staring at you this whole time.

"How is it? Did you get your boyband sorted?"

"It's not a boyband- we have a bit of everyone- you'll love the team,"

And there he went, rambling all about the people and pokémon who lived on the ship prior to it being taken down by Raquaza -which apparently was a shiny, so that was something new- and left everyone to go back to a more normal life.

The passion in his eyes was evident as he rambled on about his co-workers, their traits, and how they help out.

Suddenly, the boy man paused as he looked at you, his golden gaze gleaming with affection.

To an extent, you forgot that the two of you have been separated for years.

"You should join us, it'll be fun, I'm sure you'll love Murdock! He bakes the best sweets!"

His gaze was warm as he looked at you, and you swore you could feel your heart skip a beat.

It was hard to say no to him, not only because you've always had a crush on him (that at this point lasted for at least 4 years, which probably is more like 6-7 years), but because wanted to travel with a group of people.

Giving him a small nod, his grin widened as he lifted himself off the mahogany table and quickly embraced you.

"It's gonna be so much fun with you here, I promise you'll love it-"

As quickly as he began talking, he pauses, quickly loosening his grip before rubbing the back of his neck

--

"-when it gets fixed that is..."

I might write another fic about the graduation night, idek, lmk if you guys wanna see that !!

[riality-check]

tw for mentions of substance abuse (part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7)

ao3

Steve Harrington has been awake for fifty four hours. With luck, he'll be able to eke out another eighteen. Three days seems to be the sweet spot, even if he only makes it there half the time and, of that half, it only works half the time.

It's better than nothing.

Maybe four days is the sweet spot. Ninety six is close to one hundred, and that seems like a good omen.

Omens don't really matter though. What matters is staying awake.

So, Steve chugs his coffee and walks into the conference room. Coffee isn't enough, not nearly, but it'll do until he gets desperate enough to take something.

He really does try to only take them when he's desperate. It's easier that way, to just do it when he feels like he needs to rather than measuring dosages and remembering times. Hours start to blur around hour forty of being awake.

He walks in, sits down in the chair closest to the door, and is met with a withering glare from Eddie Munson.

Listen. Steve isn't happy about this either, but at least he doesn't look like he stepped in dog shit on the way here. Then again, Steve doesn't have the luxury of ever looking truly unhappy.

Eddie is a rock star. Mean is part of his brand, while mean is the antithesis to Steve's.

Whatever.

"Are you kidding me?" Eddie says, still staring at him, but Steve knows he's not who he's asking.

"He's the best person for the job," Chrissy, Eddie's manager, says.

"We don't need him."

Someone taps Steve's left shoulder. He turns to see Jeff, the lead singer of Corroded Coffin, give him a warm smile.

"Nice to meet you, Steve," he says, and Steve shakes his proffered hand.

"Happy to help," he says, and it's only half a lie.

The drummer and the bassist - Steve would probably be able to remember their names if he wasn't so exhausted - wave their hellos from a few seats away.

"Hi, Steve," Chrissy says.

He takes another swig of his coffee and gives her a little wave in response.

"We don't need a pop singer to write lyrics for us," Eddie says, still not letting this go.

"Yes, you do," Steve says. He sets his coffee cup down on the table and opens the folder he brought with him. "I read through the lyrics of every one of your songs."

"You didn't even listen to them?"

"Would have taken too much time."

That's a lie. Listening, even with the lengthy guitar solos, probably would have taken less time. But Steve needs something to fill the hours when he's supposed to be asleep, and reading, that slow process with its ample, awakening frustration, is the perfect thing.

"You became so much less interesting after your first album," he says. "Every one of your songs talks about the same thing. Conquering evil, killing demons, blah blah blah."

"That's what's in right now," Eddie snaps.

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve catches the drummer and Chrissy make the same motion. They pinch the bridges of their noses, clearly frustrated.

Steve sees why Chrissy wanted to talk to him.

"It is," he concedes. "But I also read the lyrics of every song by the bands with top ten hits. They don't talk about it nearly as much. They sing about other stuff. And they don't use an F major chord in every one of their songs."

"We don't-"

"We kinda do, Eddie," the bassist pipes up. "I'm a little sick of playing F."

Eddie takes a breath. Steve takes the opportunity to take a pill.

He found a way to make it less obvious for people who have something to say about it. Steve will take one from his pocket, yawn, cover his mouth, and swallow it dry. Easy peasy. They don't notice, he doesn't have to deal with people who don't get it making comments.

Except when he does, this time, Eddie narrows his eyes. Like he knows what he's doing.

Steve doesn't like that look.

"Have you read my stuff?" He won't ask if Eddie has listened to any of it. He knows the answer is no, if he keeps bringing up genre like that really means anything.

Eddie doesn't respond. He keeps those narrowed eyes trained on Steve and stays silent.

"Didn't think so," he says, and he slides over the thick stack of papers Robin stapled together for him last night. "Here's everything. Read it. Tell me if you like it. I'm only helping you if you give a shit. This goes two ways, and I don't want to waste my time if you think I'm wasting yours."

Eddie doesn't take the stack, but the drummer, sitting next to him, tugs them closer. "Thanks."

"Let me know tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Jeff says, eyebrows raised.

Steve forgets that most people don't actually take advantage of their twenty four hours.

"End of the week," he says instead, and he relaxes when Jeff does.

The drummer starts flipping through the pages while the bassist looks over his shoulder.

"Need anything else from me?" Steve asks Chrissy.

"I don't think so," she says. "I'll call you back to set up a time for Saturday."

He's amazed by the fact that someone as sweet as her works with someone as pretentious as Eddie.

"Sounds good," he says, and he walks out, trying to ignore the feeling of Eddie's eyes on him as he goes through the door.

It only halfway works.

The pill should kick in soon, within a half hour, maybe shorter because of the coffee. Maybe he'll write something. Maybe he'll work on the piano melody he's been tinkering with for the past week. Maybe he'll read the latest book Robin picked up from the library, something interesting enough to be worth the frustration of the moving letters, something that will still fill the time.

He'll make it to seventy two hours. Then he'll crash because his body is a worthless piece of shit, and he hopes this is the half of the time when he doesn't have any goddamn nightmares.

Maybe he should pop another pill, just in case.

[maspers]

Ranking the Miracucast by how well they'd cope with receiving a phone call from Marinette at 3 in the morning

Marinette: No, she's not exempt from this. She was most likely already awake, and knows that regardless of circumstance if another her is calling something Serious is happening and she will deal with it accordingly. But she would not be happy about it. 4/10

Alya: This poor girl puts up with so many late night Marinette phone calls. She is exhausted. But she takes it like a champ and routinely provides the support Marinette needs. It ain't much, but it's honest work. Someone please help her. 9/10

Adrien: Yes. 10/10

Nino: I can see Nino being quite the morning person. He would answer the phone and thoughtfully listen to what's going on. Then he would have absolutely no idea how to proceed from there. If Marinette is just calling to get some more Miraculous Muscle that's great, but if it's a problem that needs more brainpower then there will be issues. 6/10

Chloe: She needs her beauty sleep. If Marinette were to interrupt that sleep, the phone is going out the window. Screaming will be involved. Of course, knowing Marinette, Ladybug or Chat Noir is standing right outside to catch said phone to use in conjunction with a Lucky Charm to beat a supervillain or something. Ladybug knows what she's doing by now. 1/10

Sabrina: Would answer the phone thinking it was Chloe. Would be surprised to hear Marinette's voice instead. Sabrina is always eager to please, and would try to help... but most likely that help involves getting Chloe to do something. We will honor your sacrifice, Sabrina. 4/10

Mylene: For some reason I can picture Mylene being Absolutely Down to help Marinette hide a body, and would have the bag and shovel ready right as she answers the phone. I don't have any explanation for this. I really don't. I just feel in my heart it's correct? Mylene doesn't *want* there to be corpses to bury, and would sigh in relief when Marinette confirms she's calling for other reasons. But like. This still feels right. 7/10

Ivan: I don't want to say Ivan sleeps like a rock, but I think he sleeps like a rock. Sorry Marinette, that phone is NOT being answered. 0/10

Rose: Has custom ringtones for all of her friends and catapults out of bed the moment she hears any of those ringtones. Rose will immediately do everything in her power to help any of her friends at any time of day or night. Because that's what friends do. When Marinette asks her to do something oddly specific, she will do it without question and will assume it's Adrien related. She may or may not be right. 8/10

Juleka: Was already awake. May or not be aware of the passage of time. Her ability to function probably increases as the sunlight disappears, if we're being honest, so Marinette will be unnerved by this significantly more cheerful Juleka. This may or may not have an adverse effect on whatever Marinette was planning. 8/10

Kim: He will answer the phone before fully waking up. He will agree to anything Marinette says. He will say "okay, I got it" and then Marinette will hang up and Kim will finish waking up and he will have no idea what he's supposed to be doing. 2/10

Max: Marinette will be very frustrated with Max's auto-responder. Max would be happy to help, but Marinette can't figure out how to navigate all the weird options ("If you need help, press 2, if you need help with aliens, press 3, if you need help with homework, press 4, and if you need help with-") so it'll probably be a half an hour before he realizes he's being called. 3/10

Alix: Before receiving the Rabbit Miraculous, she would answer the phone and provide assistance with copious amounts of sarcastic remarks. Now that she has the Rabbit Miraculous, she gets her significantly more well-rested future self to answer the phone instead. And provide assistance with copious amounts of sarcastic remarks. Alix/10

Nathaniel: While he may not be crushing on her anymore, Nath would still be very eager to help Marinette. Unfortunately he is probably very tired and operating with a less-than-even temper so there will be problems. 4/10

Lila: The entire situation would be hilarious. She would not expect a call from Marinette this early in the morning, and would engage in Death Note-style mental gymnastics to try and figure out Marinette's goal. Does she need help? Why is she calling me if she needs help? Does she need something from me? She knows I would never help her, right? Or is she expecting me to not help and is just calling to brag that I'm not needed? Or, wait, um- Add this to the fact that she's probably very tired and not fully awake means her brain would probably short-circuit and she'd end up helping Marinette out before her thought process can catch up. 5/10

Luka: Oh, Luka, you poor, poor, boy. Marinette is not the only one who comes to you for late night therapy. So many people seek out your assistance at odd times and places, and you will ALWAYS help. You can function, and you do your best, but internally you're just a regular guy who's trying REALLY REALLY HARD to be cool and dependable. You desperately need a break, Luka. But for now I'll give you the credit you deserve. 10/10

Kagami: Her mother keeps her on a very rigid sleep schedule, so naturally she jumps at the chance to be more of a rebel and help Marinette out. Things will get broken. Even if Marinette just wanted to ask Kagami a question, there will still be property damage. 6/10

Marc: There is absolutely no way that Marc can function at all at 3 in the morning. He has been up all night writing, sustained entirely by caffeine and hyperfixation. His brain is starting to collapse from the stress and he can no longer tell fiction from reality any more. He would still try to help Marinette if she called him, but she's learned by now to just let him sleep for the sake of his health. -5/10, but like in a good way

Ondine: Probably wakes up at around this time anyway depending on which sports season it is. She can help just fine, but since she and Marinette aren't that close the chance that Ondine can assist with anything really important is low. 5/10

Aurore:

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng? Why on earth are you calling me this early?" "I need help." "What? I barely know you!" "I'm going to blackmail Alec Cataldi." "...I'm listening."

4/10

Felix: Look you just know he has the weirdest sleep schedule. He's either basically dead to the world or fully functioning without issue. He will help Marinette, though he might need to be coerced. 7/10

Zoe: She will do literally anything that Marinette asks her to. Marinette will feel very guilty about this. 9/10

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 60 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 3 | lesson 59 | lesson 60.2

the end of 5 years...so much time and some money spent on this game and i'm scared about how it's gonna end. ik for a fact we won't get proper closure and there's gonna be a fuck ton of loose ends that we never get answers to, but i've come to accept it bc there's nothing else we can do

onto lesson 60!

one part in and i'm already confused. why are we throwing curveballs in the last lesson of the game 😭 tf is a super moon and what does it have to do with mc

unless this has to do with sol and mc going back in time i'm not seeing the point. and even then is there really a point ??? we haven't touched on time travel AT ALL in season 3, not in any meaningful ways, and if this is how they're tying it in...that's an interesting choice

...this feels extremely low stakes

like yes this is a big deal and yes it could be disastrous, but the fact that we know it'll be resolved in less than one lesson just makes it feel forced and rushed

mc's power staging ? power gauging ? power grading ? whatever the term is, has always been inconsistent to the point that now they're basically god. like why should a human singlehandedly be able to stop the moon from colliding into the devildom

granted, they'll probably have help from the brothers through their pacts and diavolo & barbatos bc duh, but like...couldn't the brothers just use their powers on their own? idk it feels like a shoe horn

and i'm not surprised that it has to do with time travel. they had to talk it about eventually

with the way this is going i'm probably gonna be complaining a lot so fair warning 😭 i wish i could be more happy and enthusiastic but FUCK

thirteen crumbs. i'll take what i can get. i'm gonna miss her 💔💔💔💔💔

the fact that they had to use a scroll bar bc you could choose between all 7 of them 😭

obviously chose my fave. my man. the loml

and obviously the spell didn't work on the first attempt

WHAT

so he's on his deathbed damn near and we're supposed to just be fine with it and go to class like nothing is wrong ???

also the devs are evil for making us choose our favorite and having them get hurt to protect us 💀 why would they play in my face like that

my love :((((((( it's bittersweet to see her this much in this lesson when we barely see thirteen at all in the main story or the event stories. feels like a "here, damn" from the devs

oh so now we can say "i love you" out in the open 😑 yes i'm bitter.

this is vile 😭 not the brothers didn't even know. they got slapped in the face just like we did

.............

every bit of praise i had for the game is void. why would they do this. WHY would they do this. it's like we're back at the beginning of the game all over again

ik it's not "set in stone" or "guaranteed", but it's basically guaranteed. i know it doesn't set back his growth entirely but it feels like it. especially since we barely saw human simeon when he wasn't masking as an angel in og season 4, and he was depressed and sick for the entirety of nb season 3

like i can't even put into words how mad i am. i can't even put into words why i'm so mad. i'm just. sigh

THIS is how they end the game ??? i'm sick. actually. like i have no words

the lucifer fanservice is unsurprising but i didn't expect it to be THIS serious. like what. WHAT.

well. that's the game ig. lesson 60 was...something