#4 more years of the worst shit imaginable in this hell hole country

[midnightwind]

woke up with a headache and have felt like exhausted and meh all day and wondering why

fully forgot today was essentially National Background Radiation Day

[davidmann95]

What are some contenders for the definitive superhero comic book of the Trump era, now that it draws to a close? Not necessarily just the 'best' of the last four years, but the work that best articulates or speaks to the mood of this bizarre, terrible time in America?

I feel like #1 has to be Batman: Last Knight on Earth, which is nothing if not a primal scream of horror and rage at the election of Trump where the inciting incident of the end of the world is that humanity was faced with an ungarnished, unashamed choice between whether or not to fully embrace evil, and chose of their own free will to do so (which doesn’t exactly line up with a reality where Trump lost the popular vote, but it certainly captures the feeling of that moment).

Some other notable entries, however:

Midnighter and Apollo: A gay man is unjustly consigned to hell, and he and his boyfriend have to fight their way out against a monster of unlimited power who believes he is beyond consequence.

HoXPoX: “We...we lose?” “No. It’s much worse than that. We always lose.”

Wonder Twins: Teenagers dealing with how the generations before them have fucked the world to death on every conceivable level.

Lois Lane: Enemy of the People and Doomsday Clock: Unwittingly perfect representations of milquetoast liberal and centrist responses to Trump, respectively.

Klaus and the Crisis in XMasville: Set in the 80s, but a story of capitalism coopting everything we love into monstrosity and crushing the world down into a black hole beyond our capacity to imagine escaping from.

Superman Smashes The Klan: A story among other things about ‘who can you trust, and how much?’ and what kind of country we collectively want.

DC Nuclear Winter Special: A set of stories where everything’s gone to hell and we just have to ride it out together with some kindness and dignity.

The Immortal Hulk: Obviously, but particularly the Hulk vs. Capitalism chunk.

Far Sector: The pitfalls of policing and the ways those in power ignore and suppress the will of the people who elevate them across generations.

Dark Knight Returns: The Golden Child: Okay if you didn’t read this this must seem unhinged, but this is a comic where Joker goons storm and attack an anti-Trump rally and the media presents the Jokers’ victims as the villains of the day, and the last page is Darkseid about to be torn apart by antifa protestors led by Carrie Kelly. It actually rules? Miles from going “Frank the Tank is officially absolved and definitely cool now”, but between this and bits of Superman: Year One he does seem to have in some part realized “oh shit the kids were right” and this is the best thing he’s done since DK2.

Legion of Superheroes: A book that factoring in the Millennium prologue is about the cycle of ways we try and improve ourselves, fall back into our worst, and try to break the cycle.

Commanders in Crisis #1: Can’t say it for the series as a whole (yet) since all but that first issue come out after the election, but #1′s big reveals amount to “Final Crisis was wrong, Mandraak won, Super-President didn’t save the day and the backlash wiped away all we gained and so much more besides and we only have further to fall, but by god we have to keep fighting for what we have left”.

For me however, the definitive comic of the Trump era will always be All-Star Batman #4, released the day after the 2016 election. As a blinded Batman is trying to transport Two-Face cross-country for the latest attempt at a cure for his condition (guided by Signal), Harvey intends to have released all the blackmail information he has on people across the country if this happens but publicly promises not only not to do so if Batman is stopped but to wire half a billion to anyone who does so. Bruce believes that people are better than that, and as gunfire suddenly explodes on all sides through the walls of the room our three main characters are in, these are the concluding two pages of the comic I read the day after Trump was elected:

[zanybohbot]

The Outsiders: Camp Squit

The Outsiders: Camp Squit (Episode 4)

Published: 10-19-19 - Updated: 10-21-19

Squit planned an idea of what's happening in this weekend as he planned to go camping with Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko. Will the others ruin it for him? Will it cause cringy chaos? Read what happens and find out. This is the 4th fanfiction episode of The Outsiders.

Part 1: The Arrival

(Brain is driving in the woods with Squit, Pinky, Pesto and Wakko for their camping trip.)

Squit: As we're near, I thought I'd run through the itinerary for this weekend.

Wakko: What's an itinerary?

Pesto: (annoyed) Squit's way of taking the piss outta everything?

Squit: No, it's just a schedule of what we'll do and when we'll do it.

Pinky: Okay, item one, get your shit off my side of the car! (pushes Squit's suitcase)

Squit: It's not shit. It's essentials for everyone to make the trip more enjoyable!

Pinky: Oh, really? (Gets out Monopoly from Squit's suitcase) Monopoly?! Y'fuckin' serious?! This is tha most shitty-ass game you've ever bought! Look. All we need is beer and weed and I've got plenty of both.

Squit: Why have you brought a load of weed?

Pinky: In case I get lucky and stoned.

Squit: But we're camping by a lake near a woods.

Pinky: Listen, all these country bitches love some big city diugh.

Squit: You're not from the big city!

Pinky: Well growing up in da hood counts as a city to them!

Brain: (frustrated) Pesto, look at the map, please! Where is it?!

Pesto (checks phone) Uhhh...I dunno. It's around here somewhere. Th-the next left or something.

Brain: (sarcastically) And that's what Google Maps says, "The next left or something"?

Pesto: Sorry, dude, I'm running outta brain juice. What if I have to literally give birth with the babe from Walmart I had sex with? Can you imagine how fuckin' disgusting that'll be, watching that baby getting squeezed outta her ass?

Squit: Okay, I've got some news, Pesto. Do ya...

Pesto: Oh, here we are, B. Turn left.

(Brain turns left to the nearest forest.)

Brain: Oh, Jesus Christ, it stinks. Is it near a pig farm, Pesto?

Pesto: Sorry, that was me. It just slipped out.

(they all gag and moan by the smell)

Pinky: What?! (holds nose)

Brain: Ugh! I can't believe that's the smell of your ass!

Squit: I think I'm gonna throw up!

Wakko: I can fucking see it! It's like a brown mist!

(Squit N/R: Despite Pesto's anxious bowels burning our eyes and choking our lungs, we made it to the forest. I'd researched this place online and it certainly delivered. Secluded. Remote. Beautiful.)

(All 5 were standing in the forest.)

Pesto: So...where do we shit?

Squit: What?

Pesto: When we need to shit, where do we shit?

Pinky: Hang on, he's right. Where are we gonna shit?

Squit: Well, usually, you'd place a trench at least.

Pesto: Well, what trench, smart-ass?!

Squit: The toilet trench.

Wakko: Where you place the public bathrooms?

Squit: No, it's where you DO a public bathroom.

Pesto: (whacks Squit in the head) Fuck you, I'm not shittin' in a trench! Dafuq's the matter with ya?!

Pinky: Dude, you're fuckin' high.

Brain: I'm not going near a hole filled with your shit!

Squit: (rubbing his head) No. We each get our own trench. That's what I'm sayin'.

Brain: (sarcastically) Oh, OK. Yeah 'coz that makes sense!

Wakko: We're camping surrounded by shit?

Pinky: No! No-one's shittin' in a trench! That's disgustin', I'm not gonna do it! We'll have to drive to tha bar or a convenience store or something.

Pesto: Shit there?

Pinky: Shit there.

Wakko: Good idea.

Brain: Agreed.

Pinky: Then, that's decided, write that down, Squit, item two.

Squit: Could do. Or you could remember to shit in the bar when we're there anyways?! Now, c'mon. Let's get this tent up.

Pesto: I need to go now, tho.

Squit: What? Just hold it in!

Pesto: I can't, I get emotional.

Squit: We only just got here, Pesto! Camp first, shit second!

Pesto: I don't think I can, I'm honestly gettin' teary here, it feels like it's trying to push its way back up into my stomach!

Wakko: Great. I need one now, too.

Brain: What about that gas station we've just past?

Pesto: (panicking, holding his ass) Oh, God, the snake's out the cave!

Squit: Fine. Everyone, back in the car.

(They got back in the car and drove to the nearest gas station.)

(Squit N/R: So our camping trip was shortly delayed while Pesto left what he described as "King Kong's finger" in the Welcome Break bathrooms. Pesto genuinely felt better about life after unloading a massive turd. And now the car was unloaded, so did I.)

(Back at the forest.)

Squit: First need to clear the ground, make sure the site is safe and then put up our tent.

Pinky: Fuck dat, let's just crack open the beers and build a fuckin' massive fire up in this bitch!

Squit: You can't just build a fire. It takes preparation. I mean, have we even asked the landowner's permission?

Brain: (frustrated) Squit, c'mon! I didn't come here for a refresher course in the Countryside Code. I just wanna get pissed and have fun. Otherwise, I won't be able to do any of this in Wales.

Pinky: What, 'coz there's no fields?

Brain: No, 'coz I won't have any friends of my kind.

Pinky: You won't need friends. Welsh hoes are totally horny.

Brain: Are they?

Pinky: Yeah. Pretty much all British porn stars are Welsh, even though they are popular here in America. Most of them don't even get paid, they just do it for dick.

Brain: (sarcastically) Oh, OK, made-up sluts. Now I'm glad I'm going to Swansea. Oh, fucking hell, Swansea! I have to see my grandpa for a WHOLE WEEK in Swansea!

Squit: Fine, Brain, look if you really want, I'll build you a fire. Y'all put the tent up, I'll go and find some suitable wood and kindling.

Wakko: All right, Akela. HA!

Squit: But remember, fire is an element, it must be respected.

(He leaves to find some wood.)

(Squit N/R: Camping's all about self-reliance and teamwork. And I knew I could rely on myself to create the perfect camp and my team fucking it all up.)

(When he came back, he saw his stuff from his suitcase being burnt down with fire as his suitcase was open, it causes him to have a panic attack and drops all of the wood he just found.)

Squit: WHAT...THE...FUCK HAVE YA DONE!?

Pinky: Y'okay, Squit?

Wakko: (tried to hand Squit a cooked sausage) Want a sausage?

Pesto: Calm down. I just got it going and I didn't even need a fire gay's badge.

Pinky: Nah, just some diesel.

Squit: You put diesel on it? Wait a minute. Is that my fold-out table on the fire? (gasp) And my picnic basket?!

Pinky: I thought you said look for stuff to burn.

Squit: (getting angry) Wood, burn fucking wood, not my stuff! Oh, for Christ's sake! Why would ya do that?!

Pesto: Look, someone had to take charge of this weekend or it's gonna be all Monopoly and shitting in trenches!

Brain: Look, come on, sit down, have some weed, have a beer, have a sausage. Just chill.

Squit: I'll chill when y'all stop burning up my fuckin' valuable possessions to dust!

Pinky: (teasing) Oh, but I thought they were for "everyone"?

Squit: Yes, for everyone to use, not to burn up with! God.

(Wakko saw the fire going down so he puts Squit's fold-out chair on top of it.)

Squit: What the hell are you doing now?!

Wakko: Fire's going down.

Squit: (getting furious) STOP...BURNING...MY...THINGS!

Wakko: (angrily) Sorry, I forgot. (flips his chair off the fire) Jeez!

(Squit N/R: We were barely an hour from home, but somehow that meant that burning my possessions was not only OK, but hilarious.)

Part 2: R.I.P. Brain's Shitty Car

(Squit was sitting down still looking pissed off because of what happened earlier.)

Brain: Oh, come on, we're sorry. It was just a joke.

Wakko: We'll do whatever you want to cheer you up.

Pinky: Anything you like.

Squit: (smiled) Game of Monopoly?

(The others moan about this)

Pinky: Oh, fuck off!

Pesto: Boooooooooooooo! Y'suck!

Brain: Apart from that.

Pinky: Look, if you wanna play a game, I've got a proper game, not a shitty one, especially Monopoly. Though thinking about it, y'all might be too pussy to play.

Wakko: It's not that game that you used to play with your weird neighbour in his shed, is it?

Pinky: (looks nervous) Well, that never happened.

Wakko: Yeah, you told me about 8 years ago. Just after he moved away.

Pinky: No, I never. Shut up, dumbass!

(Wakko looks confused)

Pinky: OK, to start with, y'all have to swap phones. Squit, you swap with mine. Brain, I'll swap with your phone. Wakko and Pesto can swap each others and Pesto can swap with Squit.

(They all swap phones.)

Brain: Okay...now what?

Pinky: Now you text someone in their phone book. So when you text someone, they'll think it's from him.

Wakko: So does that mean I have to write it all posh and like all hurdy wurdy durdy?

Pinky: Nope. The only rule is you can write whatever you like and no-one can stop you.

Squit: I just wanna say, for the record, there's no way anything good can come outta this.

Pinky: Whatever. Ready? Go.

(They all text.)

Pinky: I've only got five numbers in my phone, and four of them are four of y'all, so do ya worst.

Pesto: Well, as long as one of the others is Squit's mama, you're still in trouble.

Squit: (looking disgusted) Pesto, come on, that's too much.

Pinky: Sorry, it's literally the point of the game, y'know.

Squit: Awww...fuck. Fine!

Pinky: Right, homies, finished?

Wakko: (finished texting) That's it, send 'em.

Pinky: Good, now swap back.

(They swapped back their phones.)

Pinky: Good, so I wrote, from Brain's phone to Billie, "Bills, I love you from the bottom of my ding-a-ling. The thought of leaving you is making me cum." (laughs)

Brain: (embarrassed) Oh, god.

Pinky: "And I'm using those tears as lube to jerk myself off with."

Brain: (sarcastically/disgusted) Gee, thanks, Pinky.

Squit: Don't worry, B, I texted Pinky's dad and wrote, "Dad, I'm just thinking about you."

Pinky: (whispered) Hmph, pussy.

Squit: "I'm in the bath and I'm hard." (laughs)

Pinky: (angrily) Holy fuck! Damnit, you've won this round!

Brain: Pesto? What about you?

Pesto: Fairly standard to Squit's mama. "Ma, it's been 29 years, but I'd love to have another go on your big fake-ass tits."

Squit: (embarrassed) God. No.

Pesto: "Then I'd like to smash in your back doors (anus)."

Squit: (sarcastically) So it'll come up that I've sent her a text, she'll think, "Good, he's just letting me know I'm proud of him," then she'll read that? Yep, thanks Pesto!

Pesto: No probs. Wak, who did you send to?

Wakko: I presume, your dad? I wrote "Your gay as fuck." HA!

(There was a short silence as Pesto looks pissed)

Pesto: (he snatches his phone back from Wakko) Gimme my phone back!

Wakko: Wait, I've also wrote for Saucy Walmart Karen.

Pesto: Wait, did ya?

Wakko: Hell yeah, I've written, "Karen, I love you and love that you are to be the mother of my child. Marry me?"

Pesto: Oh, c'mon!

Pinky: Nice.

Pesto: I only met her a month ago. She smells like cheese most of the time.

Pinky: What, 'coz of all dat dick she sucked?

Pesto: Yes...no...maybe...I DUNNO! God, I thought coming out here would take me mind off it, but the countryside's really boring! It's just a load of fields and rivers. And they don't do anything. They just sit there doing jack, it's not like The Blair Witch Project where people jump out at you.

Pinky: He's right, it is boring.

Wakko: Shall we go back?

Brain: Oh, no, come on, we could go for a swim? Skinny dipping? (The others look slightly disgusted) Yeah, you're right, probably be a bit gay.

Squit: Well, there's always Monopoly.

(They moan once again.)

Pinky: Fuck, fine, as long as I can be the dog.

Squit: Why?

Pinky: Reminds me of Benji.

(Squit N/R: This was great. Camping. Playing board games round the fire as the sun went down. It was like I was back in Cub Scouts, but without the unpleasantness.)

(At night, they were still playing Monopoly.)

Pinky: Miami, with a hotel, that's $1,500 you owe me, Top Hat.

Squit: Can I pay you after I pass Go? I'm nearly there.

Pinky: Nope.

Squit: (frustrated) Oh, c'mon. This is impossible. I can barely see. I've not been able to see anything for fuckin' hours! Let's just stop.

Brain: OK, we'll call it a draw.

Pinky: Fuck you, just because I'm winning and all you've got is just cities!

Pesto: I'm happy to call it a draw, y'know.

Pinky: Course you are, 'coz you were out four hours ago anyway, you fuckin' idiot!

Pesto: Y'all think I'm dumb, but I've got street smarts!

Brain: You got a woman from Walmart pregnant in her lunch hour.

Pesto: (pondered) Oh.

Pinky: I'll build another fire.

Squit: It's too dark to collect wood and you've burnt everything I own!

Pinky: Well, fine, I'll...I'll get Brain's shitty car and shine the lights over here.

Brain: Fine. Here ya go. (hand's Pinky his car keys)

Pinky: Thanks, mah boy!

(Pinky runs to Brain's car and turns on the headlights.)

(Squit N/R: This was embarrassing. I hadn't lost a game of Monopoly since I was 7. And yet I was about to be beaten by Pinky, a man who took pride in the fact that he couldn't count to 100.)

Squit: He really wants to win, doesn't he? I never knew he was so competitive.

Pesto: (eating sausages) I can't get enough of these sausages.

Wakko: (eating sausages) Yeah. I love 'em raw in the middle.

Pinky: Right, done. (he gets out of the car and shuts the door) Mission accomplished! Now you owe me $1,500. And you can pay me right fuckin' now!

(Brain's car was about to roll down into the lake.)

Brain: Pinky, my fucking car! (he stops his car from going down) Handbrake?

Pinky: Oh, shit, sorry.

Brain: Quick, everyone. Stop it!

(The others stopped the car except for Pinky.)

Brain: Pinky, help!

Pinky: Okay, calm your tits! (as he helped stopping the car)

Brain: (tried to unlock it) It's locked. Pinky, throw me the keys.

Pinky: I don't have them.

Brain: The fuck are you talkin' about, what do you mean you don't have them?!

Pinky: I gave them to you.

Brain: No, you didn't.

Pinky: Yeah, I did.

Brain: (getting angry) No, you fucking didn't!

Pinky: Brilliant, someone's gone and lost the fuckin' keys.

Squit: (looks at Pinky while being concerned) Yes, you. You've lost them.

Brain: You must have locked them in the car. (he panics) Oh, God! Oh, God!

Squit: Sorry, Brain. We'll have to smash a window or something.

Brain: (furious) Pinky, you dolt, Imma kill you for that!

Pinky: It's not my fault.

Brain: It is entirely your fault!

Pinky: I always lock my car like that!

Pesto: But yours must be different.

Wakko: It's shitty, for one.

Brain: (sarcastically angry) Thanks, Wak!

Pinky: If my lil' bro was here, he'd be able to get into it in two seconds flat. He used to jack Ferraris in New York City for the Mafia.

Brain: (bops Pinky in the head with a pencil in anger) How is that total bullshit helpful?!

Squit: Enough! OK, you three hold it. We'll go and find something to smash a window with.

Pinky: (rubbing his head looking dizzy) Hey! Why do me, Pesto and Wak have to hold the fuckin' car?!

Squit: Well, obviously, because you three are the strongest.

(Pinky, Pesto and Wakko hold the car.)

Pesto: Huh. It's true, we are.

Brain: What the fuck, why are there no rocks?! It's the countryside! Why aren't there any fuckin' rocks?! What are we gonna smash the window with now?!

Squit: Well, I dunno. Pinky's face?!

(Brain and Squit leave to find the rocks.)

Pinky: My arms hurt. I don't know why they're bothering to get rocks anyways. The way I look at it, it's inevitable that the car's gonna dive into the lake.

Wakko: I suppose it's nature. You can't fight nature.

Pesto: Exactly.

Pinky: It's going in anyway, I'm legitimately sweatin', my arms achin', we might as well just let go.

Pesto: Do you think Brain will kill us all?

Pinky: How can he? He hates it anyways. It's logical. We can't stop it.

Wakko: We are stopping it now.

Pinky: It's inevitable, Wak, trust me. We'll let go after three, do ya hear?

Pesto & Wakko: Gotcha.

Pinky: One, two, three. Go!

(They let go of the car as the car starts rolling down again. Brain and Squit finally got some rocks but Brain saw his car going down as he panicked and dropped the rocks.)

Brain: NO! Oh, God. Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

(The car went into the lake as there was a short silence, then Pesto picked the rock up and smashed the back window.)

Brain: Why did you do that?!

Pesto: You said smash a window. Look, there ya go!

Brain: NO! No, no, no! (Brain went into the lake and tried to get his car out and shortly gives up, looking at Pinky, Squit, Pesto and Wakko furiously) You assholes. You total pair of fuckin' scumbags!

Pesto: Relax, B. We'll just wait 'til morning and rescue it when the tide's out.

Brain: It's just a fucking lake, Pesto, the tide isn't going out! (He emotionally tears up) I've wasted my whole 14 years hanging around with you fuckin' morons! I wish I'd never met y'all at all! I can't wait to move to Swansea! I fuckin' hate you, fuck you! FUCK YOU!

Squit: Come on, Brain, come outta the water and dry off, you could get sick, I'm sure we'll think of something.

Brain: You never think of anything. You've just got an accent that makes us think you're clever, but you're not, are ya?! You're just as much of a fuckin' idiot as these three!

Squit: (he frowns) Wow, harsh.

Brain: You scumbags, you total, total scumbags! (he continues to get the car out) Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! (he gives up trying to get the car out)

Wakko: Do you want a lager, B?

Brain: Yes, please.

(Brain got out of the lake as they all go back to the camping area.)

Pinky: (he took Brain's keys out of his back pocket) Oh, shit! I did have the keys.

Squit: Uhhh...yeah. Probably wouldn't mention it. Like ever!

Pinky: Y'right! As a matter of fact! (he throws the car keys into the lake and leaves)

(Squit N/R: So, Brain's shitty yellow Fiat was gone forever.)

The Final Part: A Disgustingly Happy Ending

(But look on the bright side, at least Pinky did beat me at Monopoly now despite I've lost $1,500. But the last thing I wanted to have is Pesto burning my $10,000 suitcase for fire.)

(Squit and Brain watching Squit's suitcase being burnt down.)

Squit: Hey. Which do you think burns better, B, my suitcase or my dignity? Heh, heh, heh, heh. (sighs all sadly)

Brain: Yeah, ha-ha. Nice try, but this is now officially the worst night I've ever had. Let's just go home.

Wakko: How?

Squit: Call your dad, B. If you think about it, it's sort of his fault we're here anyways.

Brain: Ha, sorry, no chance. He's gonna go ballistic about picking us up at 2 in the morning. What about your lil' bro, Pinky?

Pinky: Nah. He's out with my dad, private poker tournament in Las Vegas with Danny Dyer and the Krays.

Squit: Wait. Aren't the Krays dead?

Pinky: No! That's just a cover story cos they done a bunk from prison. They're holed up in one of me dad's warehouses.

Brain: Of course.

(short silence)

Pinky: Shall we swap phones again to cheer us all up.

Squit: Sure, why not.

(They all swap their phones back to their previous precision)

Pinky: (reads text) Oh, Brain, you got a message for your insurance company, they said, "We're sorry about the car. One of our retarded staff sended you the wrong car. Just burn it, dump it, kill it with fire. We're sorry for the delay for the last 2 years. Your old one will be back in 2 days." Hmph, looks like you're not in trouble at all, Brain.

Brain: (confused but relieved) Huh, that was anticlimactic. Plus, I knew they tried to rip me off anyways.

Squit: (reads text) Oh. Looks like your dad and your brother are taking a break from that made-up poker tournament, Pinky. Your dad's just texted you back.

Pinky: Oh, shit. What did he say?

Squit: "You're sick, son. Your ma was right about sending you to that shrink."

Pinky: (looks nervous) What's he on about, that fuckin' asshole? Talkin' jack-shit as usual.

Wakko: (checks phone) You got a text, too, Pesto. It's from your babe. Maybe you should read it. (gives phone back to Pesto)

Pesto: Oh, thank you, God. Thank you.

Pinky: She said yes to the marriage proposal?

Pesto: Even better. It says, "You dopey prick. Not pregnant. Tested positive for" What's that say, Squit?

Squit: (read carefully) "Chlamydia."

Pesto: Nice! (short silence) Dafuq's chlamydia?

Squit: Well, how shall I put this, Pesto? You no longer have a child on the way but you do have an STD.

Pesto: (celebrates) I got an STD! Yes, an STD! Whoo!

Pinky: (continues to reads texts) Oh. It's from Billie and your dad. It says… (Brain snatches his phone back from Pinky) Douche!

(Brain reads the text from Billie and his dad, then suddenly smiles.)

Pinky: (curiously) Well?

Squit: Shall we go to bed? It is getting late.

Wakko: Yep, good idea.

(They all went in the tent.)

Pinky: Well...what did it say?

(Squit N/R: Brain was never this cagey. When it came to Billie or his dad, he normally wore his heart on his sleeve and his boner in his pants. Maybe he had other things on his mind.)

(Brain looks at the light in the tent while he was lying down.)

Brain: (slightly annoyed) So we had a light this whole time?

Pinky: Oh, shit, yeah. Forgot about that one. Sorry, man.

Brain: So, my car went into the lake for no reason?

Pesto: I'm upset too, B. I got my first hand job in that car. Who's gonna wanna gimme a hand job when I'm a dad?

Pinky: You're not gonna be a dad, remember, Pesto?

Pesto: (pondered) Oh, yeah!

Pinky: Whatever. Look, even if we did get it out, I doubt it would work anyway. I think the engine's flooded.

Brain: Is that supposed to be funny, Pinky?

Pinky: Did I say it was funny tho?

Brain: (pondered) Good point. I also felt happy I'm not going to Swansea next week. My grandpa cancelled the trip because he was broke.

(They all laugh.)

(Squit and Wakko came into the tent looking disgusted.)

Brain: How was the trench?

Squit: (looking disgusted) Wakko and I had to wipe our asses with leaves.

Brain: (disgusted) Jesus.

Squit: And I think there were some ants in there, so I now literally have ants in my pants. And soil, and some earwigs.

Wakko: I never wanna do that again.

Pesto: Hey. Do you remember that first time we slept in a tent in my back garden and Pinky pissed himself? (laughs)

Brain: Yeah, we had to come in the house at about midnight because Pinky got scared. (laughs)

Pinky: Yeah, I was scared that Pesto's dad was about to come out and rape us!

Pesto: (furious and disgusted) Just...go fuck yourself.

Squit: And on that familiar note, it's good night. (lies down in his sleeping bag) Sorry about your car, B.

Brain: Doesn't matter. It was a piece-of-shit car, anyway. Thanks for the send-off. For the last 2 years, I always knew they were trying to scam me in the first pla... (holds his nose) Jesus, that stinks, Pesto, was that a fart?

Pesto: Nah, Wakko and I burped. It ain't great, though.

Wakko: Yeah, I think it's them sausages.

Brain: Whatever. Good night.

Pinky: Well, I'll get the fuckin' light, then, shall I? (turns off the light) Night, mah boys.

(long silence)

Wakko: B, I was wondering, when you die?

Brain: Yeah?

Wakko: What do you want us to do with Squit? Like, look after him and stuff?

Squit: I'm not a stray cat, Wak.

Pinky: Yeah, but you do shit in a hole in the ground tho. (laughs)

Squit: (sarcastically) Gee, thanks.

Wakko: I just worry about you, that's all.

Squit: I think I'll be fine. Good night. (lies back down) Thanks, though, Wak.

(Wakko suddenly vomits on Squit)

Squit: (furious/disgusted) UGH! FUCKIN' HELL, IT'S IN MY HAIR!

Wakko: (feeling dizzy) I think it's the sausages.

Pinky: (panics and turns the light back on) Fuck dat! I've gotta get out. I've gotta get out!

Brain: (disgusted) Oh, God, the smell. It always makes me puke.

Squit: Please don't puke in here.

Brain: Oh no. (vomits)

Squit: (disgusted/annoyed) Oh, you have.

Wakko: I don't feel well. (vomits again)

(Brain pukes again)

Pesto: Help me! (vomits so much)

Pinky: Oh, shit, the smell. Oh, God, doublepuke!

Squit: JUST GET THE FUCKIN' TENT OPEN, PINKY!

Pinky: (tries to find the zip) I can't find the zip! I can't find the zip! Oh no! (vomits on the tent zip)

(Squit looks at his mini-blade as he knew what he had to do.)

Squit: (angrily) Great!

(Squit rips the tent with the mini-blade and got out, so did Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko. They started walking away together abandoning a damaged tent, a burnt suitcase and Brain's shitty car in the forest)

Squit: (reads text) Oh, my mom's texted me back.

Brain: Is she up for some back door action?

Squit: Nope, it said, "I love you too but I think you're on weed. No offence."

Pinky: If she's up for it, Pesto should get to do her, cos it was his text that got her kinky.

Pesto: True.

Squit: Obviously she's not up for it.

Brain: How do you know?

Wakko: Does it say that pacifically?

Squit: Specifically.

Pesto: Are you sayin' she only likes it in her axe wound? Ha.

Squit: Seriously guys, c'mon, we've got a long walk ahead of us, I'm covered in puke, can we just drop the "yo mama" jokes?

Pinky: I'd like to drop yo mama's jokes. Get it?

(They all laugh while they were walking away from the forest.)

Squit: Okay, that's brilliant, I give ya that! Heh, heh!

(short silence)

Pinky: (putting on his fake Cockney accent) So what are we doing now, Brain?

Brain: The same thing we DON'T do every night, Pinky! Try and call my dad 'coz we're fuckin' lost! (laughs)

Pinky: Yep. Good idea.

Squit: Yep.

Pesto: Yep.

Wakko: Yep.

Brain: (relieved) When I get home, my dad's gonna kick...my...ass!

THE END!

This is the 4th fanfiction episode of The Outsiders. Thx. Hope you liked it. 

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 1 Part 1

Hello guys ! Here we are with my new long (very long) story ! To be honest, I have so much things I want to happen in this story... it will be a huge work :D I hope I will be more steady than with HSG.

Soooo, this story is about... Liam ! It take place 1 year after HSG, when our young hero starts College ! We’ll see some old character, some new... in a very different environment... I hope you’ll like it !

Liam Monday September 4

Monday. Monday and the return from the summer holidays. A mortal combination for the young lad. He was lying onto is bed, under his sheets. His alarm clock had already rung ten times this morning, but he wasn't brave enough to stand up. Unfortunately, today, his sister wasn't here to tire him out until he goes to the bathroom (yeah, when he was in highschool, she had always been there to wake him up). (He wasn't proud of this, but please, no judgment). Slowly, Liam turned his head on his pillow, and rose his duvet. He was so fine here, drowsy, warm and without any problem. (It definitely was one of his favourite feelings). But obviously, it wasn't endless... (the boy would have love to be infinitely drowsy, warm and without problem but yay, that's not life).

"Dude, you gonna be late." laughed his roommate. "When you told me you weren't a morning person, you weren't exaggerating."

Liam mumbled something imcomprehensible.

He had moved in town two days ago, for the university beginning, and had met in this way Nicolas Lawson, aka Nick. This one was a friend of his bestfriend Nate, who fortunately went to the same university and owned an appartment in the student accomodation. Not directly in the campus, but close enough. Because college was far away Liam's home and state, his mother asked Nick's parents to let her son live here, and there he was. All that because there were no place left in the dormitory. The two boys didn't know each other very well, but it appeared they shared severals interest in common, and Liam thought this apartment share would be fine. However, they got a different point of view about mornings, obviously.

Groggily, the brown lad sat up straight and looked at his roommate, who was in the living room eating breakfast. Am I smelling pancakes ? Shit. I told him I hate theses craps. Liam just stood up, and ran into the bathroom in order to escape the aromatic flavor. Pancakes were his worst nightmare. A forbidden thing. To be honest, he hated food in general. At least since bad things had happened in 12th grade. Anyway, it wasn't the most important today. Liam took off his pajamas, and looked at the mirror. In order to be good-looking for his first day at college, he had exercised during the whole summer, and he was rather satisfied with the result. Standing up at 183 cm (6'0"), he had a nice and slim body. No six pack, but a flat stomach, with a strong chest, which he shaped by swimming the last five months. Indeed, he had stopped soccer during his 12th grade, because his friend and captain left, and the team had changed, becoming less interesting for him. With some of his buddies, he tried some sports, before choosing swimming. However, Liam didn't like to think about this part of his life, because it ended bad (no detail).

The young boy dressed up with jeans and a sweater. He greeted the unicorns under his bed (yeah, don't ask) and then joined Nick, who waited at the door.

"Are you seriously going to the opening course without taking breakfast ?" asked this latter.

"Yeah, I'm not hungry yet, I'll take some dietetics things later."

His roommate nodded silently. He can't understand... I mean, I don't want to have anything to do with food anymore... I'm eating only because it's obviously necessary, that's all. They walked together towards the amphiteater B, where took place the introdutive lesson. Meanwhile, Liam looked a bit more to Nick, letting the dark-haired boy walk in front. Probably around 180 cm (5'11"), he was a twig, without neither muscle nor fat, but only skin and bones. Maybe not as much as... whatever, maybe not enough to be called anorexic, but he was quite thin anyway. During those two days, the brown lad had understood two things : Nick loved to speak about everything, without any awkwardness (which was making Liam blush often, because himself was a prudish boy), and he loved videogames. He brought with him a whole collection of games and consoles, and played like ten or more hours per day. That was probably why when they entered in the amphiteater, they both knew no one. Well, at least they didn't see anyone they knew, and they just sat together, next to a bunch of girls and boys. There were around a thousand of students, from everywhere in the country and maybe beyond that. Who expected economics studies to be so attractive ? And they told me it's a small college. It was so big compared to highschool (to be fairly honest, Liam felt like a little tiny 8yo boy lost in a crowd, and it was scary). Anyway, the head of the faculty was making his speech, barely listened by overexcited students, and the young boy couldn't hear a single word. And for almost two hours, it continued like this, with a boring hubbub. Eventually, after the head of economics department's speech and the head of professor team's speech, they allowed a break. (There were head of somethin' everywhere). Following Nick, Liam went outside, and sighed with weariness.

"I thought it would be boring, but not that boring dude." he mumbled.

"You think so ? I found the speech of the head of the students department about the canteen rather interesting. She said we can eat whatever we want for low price, and it's sound good, isn't it ?"

The mention of food made Liam's belly gurgled loudly, and he blushed when several other students stared at him.

"Told ya it would happen." stated Nick. "You should have eat this morning dude..."

"Quiet, I'm not that hungry." lied the young boy, knowing perfectly he was starving.

Back in 11th and early 12th grade, food had been his weakness, and he had loved it. He even had been named the black hole, because he had been (and he still was) able to eat a lot before feeling full. But this was an old story he didn't want to remember. Some experiences were better to forget...

At noon, the two roommates decided to try the canteen. (Ok, Nick wanted absolutely to, and Liam having no willpower, he came with him). Anyway, it was a buffet, except for the meat, and they could pick whatever they wanted after paying a few dollars. He's right, it's cheap as hell for this food... That could explain the rumor about the freshman 15, but Liam didn't feel concerned. He chose some fried chicken, french fries and water, and then sat on a table. His roommate joined him with a bit more food, but not that much, and they started to eat in silence. The brown lad finished quickly, and while he was waiting for Nick, observed nearby. Here and there, people he had already noticed from his promotion were eating in groups, manifestly knowing each other. According to Nick, there were several parties the last week, but Liam had family issues, and he moved in town only two day ago (sad story, nobody wants to know). He had tried his best to avoid the forces of evils since. (Don't ask).

Suddenly, he glimpsed a familiar face walking outside, with blond hair, but he didn't get time to think about it, because next to him, his roommate finished a sentence by saying his name. Curious, Liam turned his head, and stared at the boy Nick was speaking to. Certainly older than them, he was around their heigh, but with a well built body. He worn a bermuda short and a vest, showing his strongs arms and legs. However, he was rather V-shaped, with a large chest, and Liam judged he probably did swimming.

"Nice to meet you two boys." smiled the newcomer. "I'm Theo Meyers, by the way. Sorry to interrupt your lunch, but I saw you and I could not stay overthere without saying anything."

Creepy. He sounds like a stalker. Just, Liam knew some shit about creepy stuff. Parents of his ex were a witch and a serial killer. And they hated him, so he was like an expert about creepy stuff (he had a quite good imagination, but his ex's parents were seriously scaring). Anyway, Theo continued :

"I'm the head (again, the head of something) of the swimteam, and when I noticed you, I immediately knew you were made for the pool."

Nick opened his mouth, but Liam replied faster :

"Thanks man, and you're right, we want to be part of the team. But I thought enrolment would only start tomorow ?"

His roommate looked at him, surprised by this uncommon motivation, but Liam just smiled. Dude, I trained hard for this. Before, he was doing sports with his friends in order to make a physic activity (and because his highschool was like the main place to practice soccer), but now, he needed that to clear his mind.

"That's true, but every club is trying to recruit before." confessed Theo. "You'll see, to be part of the club, it's quite easy : just come to the campus pool tomorow, and ask Laura. Okay ?"

"Sure."

Nick tried again to say something, but didn't get the time to, because Theo stood up and left them with a last smile.

Rebecca Monday September 4 – Tuesday September 5

With meticulouness, the beautiful girl took a little medal out of her cardboard box, and put it on her desk. She smiled with pride when she glimpsed the cup in the box. She won this one last january, for her last tournament as an highschool student. Rebecca dropped it off next to the other, and then stood up to admire her whole collection. Being a national runner had led her to win a lot of reward, and it was one of the thing she decided to bring with her at university. Well, it also allowed me to earn a special scholarship for economy. That was why, in contrary of the others students, she got an appartment for her, and her shedule was modified to let her train. Slowly, she headed towards her bedroom and took off her clothes. It was already 11pm, and after the introductive conference this morning and her exercising this afternoon, she felt exhausted. She lay onto her bed, but heard suddenly a loud voice swearing.

At start, she tried to ignore it, closing her eyes in order to get some sleep. But the boy (she was pretty sure it was a boy) continued to scream, and she could also hear the music of the game he was playing. Jeezus, did I seriously need to do this the first night ? She moved this morning in town, because of organisation issue, and never met her neighbors. It was a college facility, but out of the campus, with bigger apartment. However, Rebecca wasn't a shy girl, even far from it. And she was restless. Definitely restless. When the boy shouted again, saying something like "fuckin' noob", she decided it was enough. The girl stood up, put her clothes back on and went out angrily. She knocked strongly to the next door, and heard someone coming. Eventually, a boy (as she said) opened, quite surprised by this impromptu visit.

"Hi ! I'm your unlucky neighbor." she stated openly. "Sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to know if you can shut the fuck up when you're playing video games ? Some people try to sleep when it's late."

A swear word resonated in the flat, revealing she was not talking to the right boy. By the way, this one looked at her absent-mindedly, and he didn't seem offended by her rough attitude. A bit taller than her (she was 181 cm or 5'11"), and broad-shouldered, he worn a striped pajamas, and was probably trying to sleep too. He had dishevelled chestnut hair, and tired eyes. Anyway, he seemed to realise she was speaking about the other guy, because he yelled :

"Nick ! There is a girl here who want you to stop shouting ! Get it dude ?!"

You probably are waking up the whole floor man... Sometimes, boys were just idiot. But the named Nick replied that he understood, and it was all Rebecca asked for. She was about to leave when the lad continued :

"Did I already saw you somewhere ? You look familiar to me..."

Curious, she looked at him. For her tournaments and running, she travelled the whole country, and met a lot of people, but she did not remember him. However, his face lit up, and he exclaimed :

"You're this champion of athletics who won Shirley every year at the tournament in our town. My sis' Chloe is a huge fan of you !"

"Chloe Strucker ?"

It was the only Chloe she knew, a young girl who was rather gifted for running, like her. The lad nodded, enthusiastic. Well, and I remember Shirley Vince too, she was a good opponent last year...

"Rebecca Bab." she introduced herself. "Despite the circumstances, glad to meet you."

"Liam, Liam Strucker." he replied. "Nice to meet you too. Anyway, I should let you sleep, shouldn't I ?"

The young girl smiled. This boy looked a bit odd, but he was certainly sympathic. She may have misjudged her neighbors, after all.

The next morning, Rebecca woke up excited. Today, students were all invited to visit the campus and discover the differents clubs and places. Obviously, because she already had athletic every afternoon during at least 3 hours, she was not supposed to join another club, except, according to her trainer, a sport club. That was why, once dressed and ready, she headed towards the hall 5, where were all the university's sport facilities. Here and there, she glimpsed some students who were in her promotion, but she was too fascinated by the sophomores and juniors which were pluging for their clubs. She glimpsed the cheerleaders and the football clubs, which attracted most of the students. No way. I don't want to be a fuckin' dancer. She hated cheerleading since her mother forced her to try. And obviously, football club looked more for boys than girls. Rebecca went to the fitness club, and then the tennis one's and then, headed towards the swimming club. The town wasn't famous for swimming performance, and the freshman were few. But... according to Bob (her personnal trainer) a bit of swimming would be good for me... She came closer, and looked to the brochure. They asked freshmans girls to join the sorority Alpha Delta, which was the smaller of the campus, and freshmans boys to join the fraternity Theta Omicron, which was also small. But anyway, she didn't care about sorority.

"Hey you. Wanna some information ?"

Rebecca turned towards the boy who talked to her. Smiling, he was wearing the jacket of the swimteam, and held in his hand a brochure like the one she had just read.

"Well, I wanted to know when and where are the training, who is the trainer, how much competitions are you doing and how many girl there are in your club."

(Yeah, she was direct, and she wanted a lot of things. When she started a new sport, she liked to be aware about every detail before). The boy frowned, and answered slowly :

"The pool is open every night, so it's up to you to come training as much as you want. The trainer is Theo, a junior in law pretty good at swimming. You can do as much tournament as you want, and there is at least five girls, without you."

She smiled. Five girls... that's a few. Rebecca got a pen out of her bag, and asked the boy where she was supposed to sign. He showed a little girl next to them, and added :

"I'm Pete, by the way. I have to go or I'll miss registration for the cooking club, but I'll see you tonight for the club party, I guess."

She nodded and then called the girl in order to join the club.

Pete Tuesday September 5 – Wednesday September 6

"Here are the lockers." announced Laura. "Right for boys, left for girls. Please, don't get the wrong one's."

Some people laughed. The young boy, as for him, looked in the large mirror next to him, lost in his mind. For the party, he decided to worn a flowery cool shirt, and0 black jeans he loved. His blond hair were cut short, and he got blue eyes. Eventually, I'm not that ugly... His mother had told him he was ugly just before he moved in town. She also had said he was a fucking little selfish asshole, and a cheese cake (yeah, when she was upset she often said nonsense). Of course, he wasn't an Apollo, unlike several other new swimmer recruit, but whatever, he was fine with himself. The lad followed the group behind Laura, who was presenting the pool's facilities, when he heard someone whisper to his ear :

"You lied to me dude, I thought you were a sophomore or junior, but it seems like you're a freshman..."

Turning back, he ran into Rebecca, the black girl taller than him and way more impressive. She was wearing a sweater and sweatpants, and looked at him with a bit of aggresiveness. Okay.. I shouldn't have talk to her at first place I guess...

"To be fairly honest, I didn't say I was a sophomore or whatever..."

"Yeah, you said nothing. Look, I'm not searching problems, but if you're a pervert or something, just don't try it with me, am I clear ?"

Wow... She's crazy... a pervert, me ? No way, absolutely not. Actually, he talked to her only to be polite. Fortunately for him, Laura called the group to show the pool, and they all joined her. According to rumours (yeah, Pete listened to rumours since the first day), the small girl was Theo's girlfriend, and a pretty bad swimmer, but everyone loved her.

"Just look to the water." she ordered. "You'll see how transparent it is."

The lad believed hear a bit of humor in her voice, but he watched the water anyway. Suddenly, he could feel someone pushing him, and he fell into the pool with a scream. Around him, freshman were all jostled while the olders members were laughing.

"Hello everyone !" shouted the team captain. "I'm Theo, the swimteam leader, and tonight, we're here to welcome the newcomers ! Let's have some fun !"

They were supposed to have a lesson in five hours, at 8 am. But a lot of them were still having fun, like asked Theo. Pete was strating to feel a bit exhausted by this long and hectic party. He wasn't drunk, unlike the great majority of the students, and the heat in the pool added to the brouhaha and his moist clothes made him feel bad. (Honestly, Pete wasn't used to parties... In highschool, he was quite solitary and unpopular). Anyway, the lad went discreetly outside in order to take a break, and once alone, sighed with release. From his position, he could hear the different parties taking place everywhere, according to the club and the fraternity joined. University, the start of something new... He dreamed about this moment during the whole summer. There was something different between the atmosphere here and in highschool. People are not looking for popularity anymore... We're so many... I'm sure to find somes dudes like me here... His mom had always been telling him he wasn't ready to university. That he would come back home in no time, and take a year to make things the right way. But he already survived one week without her. One entire week ! Pete glimpsed a lad sat on a bench not far. I didn't notice him before... He's discreet... Coming closer, the young boy released he was one of the swimmer freshman. Half naked, because of their unvoluntary bathing, he only worn gray sweatpants, and Pete could admire quite a good physic. Light brown-haired with almost grey eyes, the freshman was tall, and well-builded. No abs, but a nice V-torso body, with strongs arms, and a beautiful chest. When he saw Pete, he raised an eyebrow and smiled prudently.

"Hi. Name's Liam. Am I doing something bad ?"

"What ? No, absolutely not. I... I just saw you alone on this bench, in the dark, and I thought I would come to see if everything was fine."

The named Liam had a comforting voice. The more Pete stared at him, the more he found him cute. What am I doing ? I don't even know him... Far away his thoughts, the chestnut boy smiled.

"There is no problem." he assured. "I don't really like parties. Not anymore at least."

"I understand. Too noisy. But you don't have to stay alone for all that, you know ?"

Holy shit. (Just, one of the reasons why Pete was not popular in highschool was quite simple : he was gay. And he decided to join the swimteam in order to... okay, check the boys out). (In other words, this situation was kinda awkward for him).

"I like solitude." stated Liam. "I feel better without people surround me. I can think peacefully. Anyway, thank you for being that polite."

"Well, you're welcome. Being nice is one thing my momma taught me."

Am I serioulsy speaking about my momma ? My mother. Jeezus. Shame on me. Fortunately, the light-brown haired lad didn't seem to note, and he just smiled sadly. Damned... He's so cute when he's doing this... (Pete was the kind of people to get turned out fast. Really fast). However, he had to keep calm. Firstly, because he didn't know the sexual orientation of Liam. Secondly because a young boy smiling sadly had necessarily problems, and Pete didn't want problems. Luckily, Theo saved him from this embarrasing situation when he hurtled and shouted :

"Boys here you are ! You must come ! Come ! We have something for the news recruits ! Come !"

Needless to say, he was heavily drunk, and while speaking, he tried to grabs theirs hands but only caught a bush. Liam as Pete decided to follow him before he pull the poor vegetable off, and the trio went inside.

The whole swimteam was gathered around an enormous cake. Laura handed paper plate and spoon out to every freshman while the other were yelling something like "cake, cake, cake". (They were so drunk that Pete was understanding "coke, coke, coke"). Anyway, once every new recruit had a plate, Laura served piece of the cake, and they all started to eat. Strangely, when the young lad took a large mouthful he didn't recognise the taste of chocolate he expected. Even more, he felt something weird. Seing he was hesitating, Theo just took his spoon, and stuffed it in his mouth.

"You'll see, it's delicious ! With awesome effect ! Just swallow it !"

Having no choice, Pete obeyed easy. At first, he felt nothing more than this weird taste, but soon, he starting to sense at ease. And he enjoyed it. Slowly, like a robot, he turned his head towards the captain, and asked :

"What the hell did you put in this cake ?"

"Why are you talking about cake ?! We told you it was coke dude ! Have a good trip !"

Pete wanted to say something, but only smiled. Damnit, it feel so nice...

To be continued

Well, there are our three mains characters for Chapter One. This is an introduction to the College Society, where a lot of shit will happens. And don’t worry, weight gain will obsviously happen :)

[hanilesofi-blog]

Mirror mirror on the wall,

When I was a kid, I always wanted the perfect family, the perfect grades in school, the perfect fashion sense, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect wedding at the most perfect beautiful venue, the perfect kids 1 boy and 1 girl, the perfect health, the perfect kind of body shape too, the perfect kind of set of clique to be hanging out with where the jocks the nerds the popular the rich the poor the braniacs will actually kill to just sit with me and my crew you know what I mean?

I always envisioned myself to be making it as well and successful for my future. I damn hell, seen it, I damn hell even dream about it. It comes to a point that I was as confident that nothing will ever go wrong in my life. Because I was that, certained. That, determined.

Here I am now after 26 years, sitting infront of my bedroom mirror and looking back at myself. You would be wondering wether I am a famous author now? Or maybe a teacher of a literature subject? Or maybe even a doctor or a lawyer? But hell, none of it was even close.

I flopped in my grades, I rised again when I pursued my Diploma, I got myself entangled with boys and than kept getting my heart broken over and over and over again. I picked up dancing and grew to love it, got deeper into it and committed myself to it, wanted it as my career but than reality kicks in and in the country I am living in Arts is not really recognized as well in America, etc. I mixed with all sorts of people from all different walks of lives, trusted people too fast and gave my all without any hesitations to a point of losing myself and my temple, when I meant temple, its the most greatest and respectable part of a woman, the whole of a woman, a woman's body, well been touched in the ways i never imagined nor was I giving it away to ever have to be the victim, went through trauma and bad anxiety and sucks that I got deeper into a heller pit till I certainly got too strayed to a point I don't even remember who and what I was really living for whereby not long after I went in prison for 6 months seen the other side of the world that I never expected I would ever have to see, met all sorts of people that had their own individual different reasons of their sentences and well when you bumped into an old friend outside or whatever it would be on the normal daily basis kinda questions like "what you having for lunch?" Or "how are you? How's the party coming along? And your new job?" but instead it was "how long you in for?" Or "whats your offence?" In prison you don't get to even see the buildings, you don't get to breathe the fresh air, you don't even get to see the sun from where the rays is shining from, you dont get to eat on a table or take your food from a tray its from a door hole at the bottom like how a dog is being fed for their meals. Sure, you pay for what you did. Whatever shit you did, You gotta face it. I well aware of.

Coming out from prison was a relief yet it was a nightmare, it was scary to not see the trees nor grass at all and you are...finally being able to see and smell that its just refreshing but the challenges are surreal that it seems never ending. Again my heart was as open and ready, I dated and tried, dated and tried, got my hopes up and its still not right. Failed relationships were never ending. It hurts to be honest cause its not fair, you're just in it a 101% because its for fucking love man. But people play you like a card of tricks, this motherfuckers aint got shit on me. But yet they managed to break my heart because I allowed them to.

But I'm gonna stop right here, losing your partner infront of you is 1 thing, being assumed and talked abt is another, wishing you could have done shit sooner is also another beating yourself up about it is also another but taking in every single shit that life throws at you when you're out living on the streets alone is another, the challenges like I said were never ending its like a triumph. There is so much more than just dwelling about whatever has happened they say, certain things I have let go. But when you look back and you start to have that late night self thoughts, you're just overwhelmed with emotions because you never expected shit to be shittier as you grow older.

They say that's life you gotta suck it up, but here is the thing my heart can only, take so much at one go, my heart can love and hate in a split of a blink moment but will my heart be able to take hold and withstand more challenges that would be coming my way in the long run? You know there is so much only one can take. There is points of time where I would consider taking my own life. Have I done it? Yes? Did i try? Yes? Was I suicidal to a point I would google the ways to actually end my own life? Yes? Was it worth it? NO.

This post is only 2/4 of my life that I've faced and there is another 2/4 that I've not shared. Maybe I will? When I am ready. Maybe I'll find my happiness again? Maybe I will be better in time to come? Maybe I will be able to surpass all the bad that has happened to me and change it to a positive outlook of it, only when I am ready, will I be ready to face life as what life will offer me in the future. But for now, honestly, I am tired. Grieving is one thing, thinking of my future is another, numbing this pain inside of me is another, pretending I am okay is another, acting like I am sane and composed when actually my mind is going crazy and I'm waiting to burst, hunger for my passion is another, trying to be strong everyday isnt easy too thats another struggle, you're just lying to yourself you're okay everyday till you actually just believe you are okay to a point that you don't even know if you really are really okay? You see dealing with foul mouths and shitty people is also another? But tryna become a better person by heart and character is also another.

I could type it all out here, leave it on the net for yall to binge to, have a thought or so? and have you in my shoes for a couple of minutes really livin through the shit I went through. Reading could be exhilarating but living through what I went through would be another crazy, and damn this emotions.

Sucks honestly but everyone has their own different stories to tell. Some has it worst too. You could only imagine when you read my post, have you imagined living in it?

Mirror mirror on the wall, I am looking right through my eyes through this mirror, and I feel there is more to come and if god thinks I am strong enough to handle shit, than I shall be strong but I am only human and I need to rest too. I need to easen my mind. I need people to be more positive about life and their perspective of whatever shit they feel or think. I need people to be people. To be the ones with a bigger of hearts and a strong support system.

I am getting so emotional. But I feel a tinge of relief airing it out on my iphone and I hope you readers, reading this, would feel a thing or two and start tryna be able to make a change in yourself for a better change to how you react to situations.

Love, Me.

[letsplayscrabble-blog]

feels like the first time. [ch. 4]

author's note: hi all, here's the fourth chapter! as of right now, i'm just trying to get this story out there and i don't have a set time frame for when each chapter will be out. i'm just trying to grow the following for it at the moment- so thank you thank you thank you for taking the time to read this story! hope you enjoy and don't forget to tell me what you think. (: (also, strong language is included in this chapter!)

The wind nipped at his ears and his nose and his fingers and if the chill was already seeping in past his army issued, heavy duty coat and his padded gloves he couldn't even bear to imagine how she spent her frigid winter nights on these streets covered in a mere pair of jeans and a baggy sweatshirt that had more than likely ended up on her shoulders out of pure chance rather than anything else because over the course of the past few minutes of him listening to her footsteps trailing just a few paces behind him as they walked he had concluded that this intense, dirty, intriguing woman had no place to rest her head for the night. He had come to the conclusion that there was no way in hell that she got a rush or a thrill or any sort of joy from selling those pills or offering up herself to strange men because he had recognized the good, and the pride, and the desperation in her eyes because he'd also seen that look staring back at him in the mirror far more often than he'd like to admit.

Jay Halstead was a brave man. He was strong in every sense of the word except that he wasn't. He did what the job demanded except that was what made him weak. He killed people, he ended their lives. He shot and pummeled and beat people if he was commanded because he had taken an oath and sworn to protect this country and he had been raised by a father that demanded him to be tough, and solid, and capable, never once wavering or showing emotion because 'that's not what men do' or 'that's not what is expected of us' and maybe after so many years of his father's belligerent screams it should be cemented in his brain and branded into his thought process but as only Mouse knew he curled into a ball and sobbed at the loss of one of his brothers and as only Mouse knew he considered offing himself every single sunrise because there was another day left of living in hell and fighting through the demons that came back with a vengeance every single damn night.

So maybe that's why he'd been so persistent with this stranger back at the bar, pursuing her when she'd ducked into the kitchen obviously attempting to keep a distance between herself and the new, rowdy bunch that had entered and ruined what had more than likely been her only meal of the past few days. Maybe that's why he'd bought a stash of her livelihood, not even caring that her price was ridiculous and ludicrous because how in the world could she have known that he grew up on the wrong side of the neighborhood that they were currently walking through and knew exactly what the price should be of what she was offering but she was so blatantly in need of help he didn't have the heart to turn her down. Because he saw himself in her, in the way her hazel eyes now refused to meet his gaze every single time he dared a glance over his shoulder, in the way she kept her arms crossed and her expression closed off and suddenly he would give anything for another one of her growled 'fuck yous' because at least he would hear her voice and hear her determination and he would know that all these men that paid to sleep with her and all these drugs she had to sell to keep herself at least somewhat afloat in this damn dark hole of a city hadn't completely broken and shattered her will to do better to pieces.

She didn't bother to look at him until he was standing at the front desk of a pretty shady and skeezy lobby of a hotel, cocking an eyebrow as he turned and held out a room key in her direction and didn't shift until she reached out to grab it, shoving it in the back pocket of her jeans without a nod of thanks or really even more than a instant of eye contact. She couldn't have known he had considered taking her to his childhood home just a few blocks down the street instead of this dump of a place, maybe introducing her to his mother and maybe letting her cook up a famous pot of her chicken noodle soup that had been his favorite growing up to ease the rumblings in all of their stomachs and recount embarrassing memories of his childhood because isn't that what you did when you brought a lady home and Jay Samuel Halstead had never, not even once brought a woman home- even that one mistake of a steady girlfriend he'd had during his last few years of high school.

She noticed he suddenly looked nervous as he shifted his weight back and forth between his feet, trying and failing to stop his brow from creasing before he finally decided on a course of action which happened to be motioning for her to follow him to the room he had booked, sliding in the key card and revealing the sad excuse of a queen sized bed, a loveseat, a horrible maroon colored wallpaper and an even nastier green and gold speckled carpet. The TV set was dark and cold and quiet and she hastily slipped past him and into the room to pick up the remote, to turn on a program to some stupid game show and to maybe stop the silence looming between them she was suddenly so afraid of.

An hour tops, she decided to herself, while she took advantage of the shower he had just paid for so she could wash off the dirtiness he was about to trail all over her body and then she'd never have to see him and his perfect blue eyes again but suddenly she couldn't quite stomach that thought either and she wished she could be anywhere but right here, in an empty hotel room with a stupidly handsome Jay Halstead but this was her life and she didn't really get much of a say in it anymore except when it came to asking her mother for another few baggies to go sell out on the street.

"Cat got your tongue?" Erin stated, though it lacked her usual spunk and challenge and fell flat instead and it nearly sent his hand straight through the ugly wall in a pure burst of frustration because she didn't deserve this life and she didn't deserve the way she had to make a living and he wasn't exactly sure why he felt the need to hold her then but it was there and so he crossed the threshold to her and he tried to ignore the way her body tensed and she dropped the remote in a panic as if she tried to prepare herself for what was to come but he couldn't ignore the way she instantly wiggled out of his embrace as angry tears welled in her eyes and she fought fiercely to get away from the strong frame of his body.

He kept a safe distance from her then, a frown creasing his brows once more as he studied her, hating himself for the way her body shook and her hazel eyes pierced through him and he was confident right then and there he was never going to find anyone else that could do that with a certain look ever again in his lifetime.

"You paid for half an hour to fuck me, Jay. That's all you get. No funny business, nothing else. You have two seconds to get on with it or I'm walking the hell out of here." She spat the words at him, able to hold back the tears that she hadn't even realized had emerged because damn she really hated herself for this and she hated that she had to be the worst version of herself in front of him but he'd shown her he wasn't any different from the rest by bringing her here and he didn't deserve her tears and so here she was, waiting and ready but she hadn't been prepared for him to lie down in a heap on the bed, running his fingers down his face in frustration as his legs dangled off the edge without moving any closer to her and his blue eyes suddenly disappeared from view under the palms of his hands.

"Tell me your name," he mumbled into his fingers because the fact that he didn't know this little thing about her was actually killing him and because maybe if he knew her name he could try and reason with her which had been his plan all along and because he hadn't been planning on sleeping with her, no not at all- he had simply wanted to get her out of that bar and away from his friends and maybe give her somewhere to get a good night's sleep because you had to be a damn fool to not figure out that she was homeless and cold and alone and shit out of luck.

She stayed near the window but managed to relax her muscles a bit, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she finally let her eyes wander over his sprawled out body because he couldn't look at her and couldn't see what she was doing and she never in a million years would've given him that satisfaction while he was standing in front of her because she was damn sure he didn't need any more of an ego boost. "Erin," she murmured simply, her voice softening a bit though she still couldn't quite figure out where he was going with all of this. Why exactly he stopped, why exactly he wasn't even looking at her.

"Erin," he repeated, his hands falling from his face as he shifted to his side to meet her gaze, the tiniest hint of a grin on his lips as his elbow and then his hand propped up his head and all she could manage back at him was a quirk of an eyebrow because she was still pretty sure he had an ulterior motive and she was still pretty sure the initial plan had been for him to use her body and she was still pretty sure if she gave him much else she would end up divulging far more than she felt comfortable with because those eyes of his could melt her walls if she let them and she didn't deserve getting to unload all of her shit on anyone except maybe her mother because she was a dealer and a mess and a criminal and she should probably be in prison except for the fact a cop took pity on her and in the end she'd fucked that up too.

"Jay, what the hell are you-"

"I want to help," he cut in, and her eyes widened, taking another step away from him because of course she should've figured it out sooner and of course this wasn't going to be easy and of course all he was going to give her was his pity and that was even harder to stomach than she had anticipated. But he kept babbling, ignoring the way she began to pick at that damn string of her sweatshirt or the way she began to gnaw on her bottom lip because all she really wanted to do was dash for the door but she was almost certain he would catch her and she really didn't want to feel any part of him touch her again because she was dirty and disgusting and truth be told she didn't want anything to do with the likes of Jay Halstead any more.

"Stay here tonight. I can run home and grab some of my old clothes for you to put on, at least a decent jacket I'm sure I have lying around there somewhere. You can shower here, sleep in the bed. I booked the room for three nights, Erin. Just stay and you can come and go as you like but at least you have a roof and four walls to come back to."

But she wasn't even listening. Her blood was boiling and her shame was raging and her cheeks tinged red though she wasn't sure if it was because she was embarrassed or because she was furious but that didn't stop her from shaking her head ferociously back and forth because the only person she had ever accepted help from she had ended up disappointing and the way Jay was looking at her now sent waves of self-hatred through her entire body and it was then she ducked her head and lowered her gaze but she should've known he would notice the way she clenched her fists in fury and fidgeted as if she was going to burst because he was up from the bed in an instant and it took all she had in her not to slap him because he had tricked her into coming here and though there was a huge sense of relief rolling through her at not having to sleep with a stranger of a man he had still tricked her and lied to her and she absolutely couldn't stand the pity rolling off of him in waves.

"I'm not a damn charity case!" Erin bellowed, her hazel eyes finally finding his blue ones again as she looked up from the floor and he almost let out a sigh of relief because her spirit was back and yes she was screaming at him but here was the Erin he'd seen in the kitchen for those three minutes and here was the girl who knew she could do better than drugs and booze and disgusting men and damn it he would give anything to scream that back at her to maybe get it through her thick skull once and for all but instead he bit his tongue and let his hands dangle uselessly at his sides because it was then he realized he had gone about this all wrong and she was going to bolt and there was nothing he could do to stop her.

"Erin, that wasn't what I-"

"Screw you, Jay Halstead. Screw you and your damn high and mighty act like you're so goddamn put together and perfect. I was doing just fine without your damn hand outs." she spat, daring to take one step closer to him as her eyes narrowed into slits and her fingers trembled at her sides before she managed to dig every bill he had shelled out to her out of her back pocket and tossed them all on the carpet not even bothering to watch them all float to the ground.

She was out the door and gone before he managed to move, bending down to pick up the cash and fighting back the urge to scream.

[tsushini]

get to know the blogger

so, I just wanna do this because I feel like telling more about myself today because maybe some followers of mine want to know more... dunno, hope you don’t mind it. I’ll add a read more just to shorten things up. Here’s the link for the original post.

1. If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? That sounds awful but maybe work harder? Write more, work out, improve myself? or maybe just nextflix and eat lel.

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned? I love t-shirts but my favourite right now is this panda hodie I have that have a hole for my thumb on each sleeve, it’s pretty cute.

3. What hobby would you pick up if time & money weren't an issue? Dancing. I already play the guitar, write and do a bunch of art and editing stuffs but I’ve always wanted to learn how to dance, seems fun. I’ll try it soon.

4. What does your perfect room look like? My room’s pretty nice now but I’d like a room on the attic or something with some big ass window so the sun is always shinning through it, a small ladder to climb onto the roof, plants, one of those mattresses on the floors instead of a bed, a nice and clean bookshelf... something nice and peaceful.

5. How often do you play sports? That’s a good joke.

6. What fictional place would you like to visit? All of them? I wanna be a wizard tho... maybe Hogwarts.

7. What job would you be terrible at? Client support, telemarketing and anything that will make me deal with annoying shitheads being stupid.

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree? God, dunno... when I was really young? I should climb more trees...

9. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for? Eating chocolate. Running away from crowded places. The Olympic metal for the one that’s always late, but I’d never show up to get my gold metal.

10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have? I have the worst habit of overthinking and putting other’s needs in front of mine and some people have the habit of taking advantage of my bad habits.

11. What job do you think you'd be really good at? I have no idea, I usually think I’m pretty bad at everything but I would be really good at sitting in the office doing my job and minding my own business but anyone could do that.

12. What skill would you like to master? WITCHCRAFT! Just kidding, I wanna kill it on the dance floor and draw well.

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? Realistically it would be really nice to just leave any worries behind, drive for as long as you want and then explore that place for a day or two. My parents and I did that when I was really young but they stopped wanting those type of trips, now they plan everything. But fictionally, imagine a land full of mystical beings who are friendly with anything and everyone. That would be the best.

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like? Something rustic. I like nature and plants so maybe a simple house with a nice front porch with a few plants I can take care off and stuffs.

15. What's your favorite drink? Lemon Iced Tea from Lipton. I used to drink 2L of that a day! Now I can’t drink it. lel

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to? I’ve only been to Spain and I live in Portugal... but I’d really like to go back to Porto, it’s so awesome.

17. What songs do you have completely memorized? All of them. Every single one.

18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in? Scott Pilgrim vs The World. Imagine bumping into one of your friends playfully and accidentally starting a battle.

19. What do you consider to be your best find? I don’t understand this question but I’ve found some pretty neat rocks.

20. Are you usually early or late? Late.

21. What pets did you have when you were growing up? I had a dog for about 15 years that died about 2 years ago and a cat that didn’t live that long and died way earlier than the dog because of cancer. Now I have about 6 or 7 cats and 1 dog so...

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with? Advice, editing, creating a logo, photoshoots, music classes for kids, playing some concerts, a one night stand... Shall I continue? People ask me for a lot of shit.

23. What takes up too much of your time? Breathing and writing.

24. What do you wish you knew more about? Some cultures that I know very little about. Recently I’ve been looking into Japanese and Korean cultures but I’m very uncertain about what I’ve learn and I’d like to know a lot more about Indian culture, Chinese culture and any African culture because I know nothing about them. If you know anything about or are part of any cultures at all then please teach me. I am actually asking you.

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being frozen for 100 years? “What the fuck?”

26. What are some small things that make your day better? Water, sweets, seeing that the people I love are having a nice day and feel alright, the sun and my animals.

27. Who's your go-to band or artist when you don't know who or what to listen to? Right now it’s BTS, I really love them a lot. They’re pretty amazing artists. But I like rock a lot and jazz and it depends on how I feel at the moment. but yeah I’ll probably listen to BTS anyways.

28. What's the best way to start the day? Not getting up.

29. What TV shows do you like? I don’t watch tv much but I do use netflix and I’ve just finished Stranger Things s1, Rick and Morty s1 and I’m watching Jessica Jones. I also like Sherlock even though I’ve missed maybe the last 2 seasons... ups.

30. What TV channel doesn't exist but really should? An Adult Swim tv channel.

31. Who has impressed you most with what they've accomplished? I’ll be honest for a second... My friends impress me a lot on a daily basis.

My best friend hates college but never gave up. He gets up every day, rides the bus and takes the metro in the city which is tiring as shit, goes to those classes he hates, goes to the library to study even though he hates it and comes back home tired as hell but still plays a game with me and our friends and talks for a bit before going to bed. Every. Single. Day. Except weekends, but you get it.

My friend moved from Protugal to England, had a really tough time in London but still studied what she wanted, moved to another city 4 hours away from london to study what she wants, lives alone in an unknown city on an unknown country and keeps getting up every day and doing everything on her own even if things get tough.

And there are many more stories I could tell but those things really impress me because I can’t leave the house without panicking and they do it and even more on a daily basis. I can barely leave my room and they leave their house and walk into the middle of an unknown city every single day and that’s fucking amazing. My babies are fucking amazing.

32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently? 17. Not an adult but not too imature. I could still get a part-time job and party without anyone bothering me or asking questions about children and marriages.

33. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? Any horror stuff.

34. What's your ideal way to spend a weekend? Reading, writing or doing whatever I want without anyone annoying me.

35. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don't think you could live without? There are a lot of things that are considered a luxury in my opinion since there’s a lot of people who can barely get something to eat in my country so... everything I own, including all the food on my fridge, is considered a luxury in my opinion. But if I need to say something, probably my computer.

36. What is your claim to fame? I don’t care.

37. What is something you enjoy doing the old-fashioned way? A lot of things but there are things that I like to do like my grandma taught me like tea with natural ingredients instead of buying the bags in the store, some gardening tips, some food, the cleaning with my own too hands and sewing... You get it.

38. What's your favorite book or movie genre? Fantasy, super heros and romance, I guess. But no clichés, I hate it when I can guess what will happen.

39. How often do you people-watch? A lot... It sounds creepy but as an artist I like to draw from life even if I’m not too good at it so... Every time I get a chance I either stare at someone and draw them or stare at someone and make up a story about that person in my head.

40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? Music from other countries. I thought that listening to kpop would be weird but nope. They’re so awesome, they’re beating american artists, to be honest! They dance, sing, act, compose, they do so much shit!! I can’t believe they’re this awesome and I thought it was weird.

41. What's the best day of the year? None? I’m the type of person that hates Christmas so... Maybe the first day of Summer.

42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of? As mentioned many times before... Kpop and Korean and Japanese culture.

43. How do you relax after a long day of work? Watching something on Netflix while cuddling with the closest animal.

44. What's the best book series or TV series you've ever read or watched? I really like John Green’s book “Looking For Alaska” because there’s no chapters, there’s just a countdown to eminent doom and a lot of stuff I can relate to in between, and I love Mr.Robot. It’s the best.

45. Where is the farthest you've ever been from home? 180km? About 4 maybe 5 hours? Sevilla, Spain? I think that’s it.

46. What's the most heartwarming thing you've ever seen? Cats maybe. Oh and the other day my dad offered some cake my mom made to a friend of his, and the expression that man had on his face was so pure as he looked at my dad and whispered “it’s actually good...”

47. What is the most annoying question people ask you? “why are you nervous?”

48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation? A lot of things... I know a lot of shit and I talk a lot about lots of shit... I could give an hour presentation about how chocolate is nice if I tried hard enough and felt like it.

49. If you were the dictator on a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? I would make people be nice, never fight and never scream out of rage at each other and watch how many people would fail on the first day.

50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? To not give a fuck.

51. Would you rather go hand gliding or whitewater rafting? Neither but hand gliding sounds nicer.

52. What's your dream car? Volkswagen Kombi

53. What's worth spending more on to get the best? Tough one... Concert tickets if it’s a once in a life-time opportunity, something that would make you happy and satisfied if you can keep it and, in my personal opinion, plane tickets to Seoul, South Korea.

54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get? Getting a lot of money and quick. I can’t understand why everyone wants so much money but then don’t pay attention to their loved ones and end up damaging their health for money and hurt who they love because “they need money”... I can’t understand.

55. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? When I get to eat chocolate. hehe ＼(￣▽￣)／

56. Where is the most interesting place you've been? North of Portugal. “Parque Nacional da Peneda-Gerês” it’s beautiful, it’s big and has a lot of “secret” waterfalls that aren’t marked because they don’t want people to ruin them but they do anyway.

57. What's something you've been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to it? Soy milk and vegetarian food. I’ve drunk chocolate soy milk but not normal soy milk and I’m curious about vegan food.

58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week? BTS tweeted “obrigado” which is Thanks in Portuguese and it really warmed my heart and soul. Also I decided to start warking out and start a new diet and that was pretty cool. Oh yeah I went to this international Tourism fair they do every year in Lisbon and got a bunch of maps from Japan, Taiwan, Cuba I think and some other places. That’s cool.

59. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind, only to experience it for the first time again? Either 3D Movies or Music Festivals.

60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have? I’d want to be the same thing I’ve always want to be, a writer, a song-writer or maybe a composer or dancer. Even if this jobs had the same pay rate and hours, they require a lot of skill, effort and even luck sometimes, so don’t go around judging jobs by how much your paid, artists deserve a lot.

61. What amazing thing have you done that no one was around to see? I have a weird skill at catching things I drop mid air before they fall or break but I’m not that clumsy around people so...

62. How different was your life 1 year ago? Not that different but it had a lot less pills, a lot less happiness, less music and less determination.

63. What quirks do you have? I have no idea... I really don’t, sorry...

64. What would you rate 10/10? BTS 12/10 STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN HELL YEAH THEY FUCKING RULE REALLY

65. What fad or trend do you think should come back? The way people dressed in the 50s was pretty cool and that hippie trend about peace on hearth and rock’n’roll was also pretty awesome.

66. What is the most interesting piece of art you've seen? I’ve always loved some of Frida Kahlo’s paintings and her story as well (what a hell of a woman) but I love “Composition II en rouge, bleu et jaune“ by Piet Mondrain because it’s so simple and yet it’s one of the most famous paintings in the world.

67. What kind of art do you enjoy most? I enjoy paintings and going to art museums and all that but I’m mostly into photography than any other form of art.

68. What do you hope never changes? Me mostly but also my cats. Imagine them getting even more lazy... how awful...

69. What city would you most like to live in? I haven’t been too far, I’ve only gone to Spain so as far as I’m concerned I only know 0,1% of the world. With this in mind, fuck this I’m moving to either Tokyo, Japan or Seoul, Korea.

70. What movie title best describes your life? I can’t believe this is the hardest question ever... “Into the wild”

71. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? I’m not working currently, I’m helping everyone around me for free and for fun.

72. What's the best way a person can spend their time? Doing what they want and love

73. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make? A lot of shit, a box at first, then bts stuff, then I’d do diy stuff, then props from sci-fi movies like thos guys on youtube... The sky is the limit...

74. Where is the most relaxing place you've ever been? A waterfall in the middle of nowhere at Parque Nacional da Peneda-Gerês.

75. What's the luckiest thing that has ever happened to you? I probably don’t remember. I dunno.

76. Where would you rather be from? Korea, Japan or somewhere where respect for each other is kinda important.

77. What are some things you've had to unlearn? Oh boy... How to use Adobe Illustrator, Flash and Dreamweaver, how to play the piano and read music sheets properly, how to dance ballet and ball dances (I had a few classes when I was younger)... How to properly take a picture, how to capture an event by filming and photograping it, you get me... a lot of shit...

78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months? Peace, quiet and the results of my new diet.

79. What website do you visit most often? Youtube and Tumblr.

80. What one thing do you really want but can't afford? I’d say travel but I’d really like to strart some kind of project alone like selling my own art or do youtube or something like that but I’m really unsure about everything in life and I don’t have a job so it’s pretty complicated.

81. Where do you usually go when you have free time? Bed.

82. Where would you spend all your time if you could? Bed.

83. What's special about the place you grew up? I don’t have one place I grew up in because I was always going from my grandmas house back to my parents house and back to my grandmas house so...

84. What age do you want to live to? I'll die when I die, dude.

85. What are you most likely to become famous for? Jesus, dunno... being a bitch? I’m my best friends photographer, I do a lot of editing, I play guitar with an orchestra and I write a lot of shit so... I don’t even know.

86. What are you absolutely determined to do? Oh boy, am I determined to breathe!

87. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? Disappoint people? I’m not impressive.

88. What do you wish you knew more about? Again, I want to know more about other cultures and I want to try and understand them all.

89. What question would you most like to know the answer to? Is my anxiety going to disappear.

90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person? I usually ask if they put the cereal first or not.

91. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major? I’m always changing my opinion on a daily basis because I acknowledge that I too make mistakes and I too sometimes am wrong.

92. What's the best compliment you've ever received? Someone told my I can captivate other people with the way I talk and that my company makes them happy, best compliments ever.

93. As the only human left on earth, what would you do? Steal a lot of shit and try to travel as far as I can go without knowing how to fly a plane or drive a boat? (do you drive boats? I don’t even know.)

94. Who inspires you to be better? BTS and my friends. They’re always doing their best all the time.

95. What do you want your epitaph to be? brb.

96. What haven't you grown out of? My parents’ house.

97. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in? In public alone or when people are talking about something I don’t know or like.

98. What's the dumbest thing you've done that actually turned out pretty well? I went to Porto to meet someone, it’s about 3 to 4 hours driving depending on how you drive and that person was too busy to meet me so I got to know the city and I loved it. Best weekend ever and didn’t even care about that person.

99. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about? Some weird ass shit, let me tell ya.

100. What's something you will never do again? A lot of stupid shit.

101. How do you hope you'll change as a person in the future? I hope I change for the better but I’ll definitely get thinner and healthier.

102. What keeps you up at night? Netflix.

103. What's the most surprising self-realization you've had? That all I need in order to get better is myself and that I don’t like and I don’t feel the need to have a person close to me as in more than friends as in relationships as in I don’t like people getting too close and it’s not a problem to me so... yeah.

104. What is the most illegal thing you've ever done? Smoke weed? Smoke some kind of other drugs? Drinking underage at 8am in a public space near a school? I think I stole something once... can’t remember. I went through a weird phase.

105. How do you get in the way of your own success? By thinking I can’t do it by myself.

106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you? My fears, my anxiety, my craziness and everything bad in me.

107. What is your biggest regret? Starting this no sweets diet.

108. What do you look down on people for? Being ignorant as in doing something bad and not caring about it or as in being racist or homophobic or as in offending someone and not caring about them. disrespectful people are the worse.

109. What bridges do you not regret burning? Let them burn. All of them. No regrets.

110. What lie do you tell most often? I’m fine. Everything’s fine.

111. What would be your spirit animal? A Sloth or an Elephant. Both of them are pretty cool once you learn about them.

112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older? The best is doing what you want and the worst is the responsibilities they just drop on you on your 18th birthday like you know everything now.

113. What are you most likely very wrong about? About how cool and nice Japan seems, it sounds too good to be true. People actually wait for other people to exit the train before entering?? that can’t exist...

114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it? Nothing because I’m too lazy to design it.

115. What's happened that changed your view on the world? Life and anxiety happened and fucked me up. And this shitty teacher was an asshole as well.

116. What is the biggest lesson you've learned? If a teacher fails 24 out of 25 students, the teacher has a serious problem.

117. What is the most immature thing you do? I pout and whine a lot and I hide my hands on my hoodie sleeves and then hide my face, that’s very child like.

118. What are you famous for among your friends & family? I painted my hair blue once.

119. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be? Various flowers blended together.

120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn't have? I hate that I’m the one cleaning and cooking and all of that and that I’m the one my dad comes to talk about the problems he has with my mom. He screams a lot about it, I end up just nodding my head for an hour straight and I hate that it feels like a responsibility to hear his problems.

121. What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die? All I want is to feel happy, no anything, just whatever makes me happy.

122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self? Do not steal your friend’s Barbie’s clothes even if she’s a bitch and she didn’t invite you to her birthday party.

123. What's the best thing you got from your parents? Everything I own except my life.

124. What's the best thing about you? Dunno, I help anyone that needs help without asking for anything back.

125. What blows your mind? BTS and how strong they are.

126. Have you ever saved someone's life? I kinda did since me and my friends are all some depressed little shits and I’ve met a lot of people who had a lot of problems and thought about suicide a lot and we are all still little living shits, I guess you could say we all saved ourselves.

127. What are you really good at but embarrassed to be good at? Doing extremely explicit research for writing certain things about certain types of people... I’m good at finding stuff...

128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like? A short man with really dark skin, long hair, an athletic body, confident and pretty dumb I guess.

129. What are 3 interesting facts about you? I love every single animal in the world, all of them. I love reading not only romances but also poetry, I own a book about the history of haikus and Matsuo Bashô who kind of created them I guess. And, even though I hate spiders and other bugs, I refuse to kill them or harm them except the occasional spider I vacuum when I clean the house.

130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? I have one on my leg I got when I was younger while trying to iron a skirt that my dad refused to let me use so I told him I didn’t need him for anything and did it myself and somehow ended up touching the side of the iron on my leg and hurting myself.

131. What's the title of the current chapter in your life? “This should’ve never been written”

132. What were some of the biggest turning points in your life? When I decided to start seeing a psychologist.

133. What's the hardest lesson you've learned? Rather their family or friends, people are people and they will disappear eventually. Either voluntarily or not.

134. What do people think is weird about you? I’m 100% weird. There’s nothing that isn’t weird about me.

135. What mistake do you keep making? Trusting people.

136. What have you created that you're most proud of? A few videos, a few photos, a few drawings... I’ve done a few things now that I think about it. Good question.

137. What do you doubt? Myself.

138. What are some of your morals? I like to respect everyone even if they don’t respect me or if they have different opinions from mine. I like to be respectful to older people the most because where I was raised everyone who is an adult would take care of you. That’s not the case any more though.

139. What do you want to be remembered for? Being nice, helpful and weird.

140. What do you regret not doing in your childhood years? Having fun.

141. What is your favorite fragrance? I like sweet smells like strawberry and roses.

142. What do you think your last words will be? ups.

143. Who or what do you take for granted? My family most likely and my best friend.

144. Why would you be annoying as a roommate? I listen to music loudly, I sing all the fucking time and I’d prank my roommate every week.

145. What is something you're insecure about? Is this a trick question?

146. What's the best & worst piece of advice you've received? Once my uncle gave me a potato for my birthday and I, as the 5 year old child I was, cried my heart out. After I stopped crying, my uncle sat me down and told him that I shouldn’t judge his gift so harshly. He told me he’d plant that potato and grew it just to give it to me for my birthday. He taught me to never judge anything that is given to me because I’ll never know how hard the person who gave me the present worked to give it to me and that I should accept everything as long as it is given to me with love and care. Afterwards he gave me a radio and it stopped working a few years ago but I still have it. Since then I’ve always hated when people gave me anything stupid and without any care or love put into it, like socks on Christmas. The worst one was when someone told me to just relax and to not be so stiff and I stopped studying and dedicated my life to drugs, alchool and stupidity. Way to go, dude.

147. What irrational fears do you have? The fear that people are always staring at me no matter what. If I go out in public I will feel like everyone is staring right at me, judging me.

148. What makes a good life? Happiness.

149. What's the last adventure you went on? There was this event last week that seemed like a fucking journey. It was a tourism thing and there were so many people from so many countries showing their culture. It was pretty neat. I also went alone to an appointment I had with a specialist to help me with my diet and that, for someone with anxiety, was an adventure and a half.

150. What is the most memorable gift you've received? A potato. Since that day I’ve always hate receiving gifts.