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narizaki · 2 months

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video calls & sick days ― s. kiyoomi

tags manager!reader, gn!reader, fluff, sickfic, post-timeskip

notes wc is 1.5k, thanks for 2 hunnid enjoy :p

over the few months you’ve been sakusa’s manager, you’ve ingrained daily video calls into your schedule.

it wasn’t hard to tell that sakusa thought calls were inconvenient, to say the very least. the slight tick of his eye and the clench of his jaw were difficult to miss, even if he bit his tongue in the name of professionalism. you understood, really. no one would want to be disrupted early in the morning, especially when they’re someone who has a carefully crafted routine like sakusa — which is why you insisted on aligning these calls with his schedule, instead of deciding for him. it seemed to satisfy the spiker enough, seeing that he appeared much less tense almost immediately after.

however, you’re starting to regret not bringing it upon yourself to dictate a time — especially when the back of your eyes are burning and it’s hard to breathe because it’s six in the morning and you’re sick.

“good morning, sakusa,” you groggily greet. you internally cringe at your voice, scratchy and making your throat hurt. you’ve opted to have your camera off just this once — you prefer to keep it on, as it makes these exchanges a little more humane, but you think your appearance is far too unfortunate for someone else to see right now. your hand runs through your hair, and you wince when your fingers get caught in a knot.

sakusa’s camera is on, however, and the sound of pots clinking against one another fills the air around you. when he re-enters the frame, he’s focused on the meal he’s making, only mumbling a short greeting back.

you take a swig of water and clear your throat, hoping that it helps with the ache, before beginning with sakusa’s schedule for today.

“let’s begin,” you start, “you’re free until 1 this afternoon, where you have a promotional shoot with hinata, bokuto, and miya. it should last until 3 or 4, depending on how long they take to prepare the four of you.” your words are curt and straightforward, and you hope that sakusa doesn’t notice. typically, you’d attempt small talk with him, but you’re currently trying to savor the last of your voice.

“knowing miya, he’ll probably manage to drag it until 6 in the evening,” the spiker grumbles, and you can’t help the raspy (and tired) laugh that leaves you. a cough follows soon after, and if sakusa wasn’t able to tell that you were sick before, he definitely can now.

you watch as his eyes flit to his phone, a questioning look on his face. they roam around the screen for a moment, and you nervously wait for his reaction.

“are you sick?” sakusa bluntly asks. his eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s stopped stirring whatever he’s preparing on the stove. despite the fact he can’t even see you, you abashedly look away from your screen.

you’re tempted to deny it, but you know it’d be a futile attempt anyway. so, you relent, sighing out an affirmation. “yes, i am. i won’t be present at the shoot today, but you can expect the other three managers to be there. if you need anything, you can call me.”

“no, i’ll be fine, but you shouldn’t be doing anything if you’re sick.” sakusa replies, turning away from his phone to move his food onto a plate. selfishly, you allow your eyes to rack down the wide expanse of his back, appreciating the way his compression shirt hugs his figure. it becomes clear that you were staring for too long, though, when sakusa turns back around, plate in hand and waiting for your response.

you have it in you to feel the slightest bit embarrassed, even if he can’t see you.

“sorry,” you sheepishly murmur, “i can assure you that i’ll be okay, sakusa. i’ll be working from home today.”

“again,” he says, voice a tad harder than it was before, “you shouldn’t be doing anything if you’re sick. even if you’re working from home. is that everything i have on my schedule for today?”

you’re not sure if sakusa’s being so insistent out of genuine worry for your health, or if he’s concerned that you’ll get him sick if you come to work in your state. “sakusa, i promise you that i’ll be okay in a day or two. and even then, i’ll make sure to wear a mask,” you say, assuming sakusa’s worried for his health. “moving on, though, i believe that’s all on your schedule for today. tomorrow you have your shoot with calvin klein, but i’ll remind you tomorrow morning. you have some pr, too. i believe a brand sent you pickled plums, which are your favorite, if i remember correctly?”

you watch as sakusa shakes his head, sighing through his nose. “i’m not worried about me. i know that you wouldn’t get me sick. but if you keep on working instead of resting, you’re going to get worse, and you’ll be out for longer.”

you’re beginning to become slightly irritated — a mix of tiredness, sickness, and sakusa’s nagging (even if it comes from a good place) beginning to annoy you. regardless, you try to pay no attention to it. once you’re done with this phone call, you’ll rest for another hour or two before doing whatever work you can from home.

“i’m glad that you’re not worried about yourself, but as i said earlier, i’m sure i’ll be fine. i can take care of myself, sakusa,” you curtly reply, hoping that the spiker leaves the topic alone.

thankfully, it seems like he does, because he relents and asks you to give him the pickled plums later on in the week. a few minutes later you’re greeting sakusa goodbye and hanging up, slouching into your mattress and performing a futile attempt at staving off the ache in your temples.

you wake once again hours later to the incessant sound of your doorbell ringing. it’s certainly at least mid-morning, considering the way sunlight is filtering into your room, making your eyes ache.

you stumble over to the door, paying no mind to your appearance and throwing the door open. to your surprise, sakusa is standing in your doorway, impatiently waiting for you to let him in, a plastic bag in hand.

“sakusa?” you gape. if you were being completely honest, he was the person you were least expecting to see right now — especially because you’re sick. he’s staring at you incredulously, like it’s not insane for him, out of all people, to willingly be around someone else while they’re ill.

“you’re sick, right? i have soup and medicine,” he grumbles, “are you going to let me in or not?”

you blink, before barely coming to your senses enough to open the door for him to step through. he does so immediately, taking long strides towards your dinner table to set the food down. then, he turns to you, and you have to resist the urge to curl into yourself. your head is pounding, you can hardly breathe through your nose, and you’re sure you look absolutely terrible right now. fuck professionalism, i guess, you sarcastically think. you’re not sure if you’ll ever allow yourself to live this moment down, even if you spend hours trying to forget about it.

“you didn’t…have to do this, sakusa,” you murmur, still somewhat in shock. and it seems that he’s just full of surprises today, because sakusa laughs, and you’re as surprised as you are annoyed because he’s laughing at you.

“you’re my manager, i can’t have you dying on me,” he nonchalantly replies, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “now get back to bed. i’ll prepare the soup for you and get you some medicine.”

you’re tempted to cuss at him, but decide that your entire body is far too weak to stay standing anymore, so you listen and make your way towards your room. sakusa doesn’t take very long, coming back with the items he promised and a damp towel — where’d he even find that?

and you think you’ve never seen sakusa so gentle before, placing the towel onto your forehead and handing you the warm soup. you eat it all in one go, not having realized how hungry you truly are, and graciously take the medicine sakusa offers you once you’re done.

“...thank you, sakusa, you didn’t have to do this,” you say, feeling rather guilty that he took it upon himself to take care of you.

sakusa only scoffs in reply. “you basically decide my entire life. everything would be thrown off-course if you weren’t able to work for even a week.”

his response makes you laugh weakly, and you promise him that you’ll be back and better soon.

“i have to go now,” sakusa says, glancing at his phone. you nod, remembering about the photoshoot you reminded him of earlier.

he awkwardly stands still, before his hand comes to rest on top of your head in a strange head-pat. sakusa’s face is slightly flushed pink, an obvious show that he’s flustered.

“feel better soon,” he mumbles, and you thank him with a smile.

(sakusa was ten minutes late to his photoshoot. when asked why by his teammates, they gave him teasing looks when he said he dropped a few items off by his sick manager’s house.)

(he thinks he may hate his team.)

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #sakusa kiyoomi fluff #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa fluff #sakusa x reader

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2thingscanbetrue · 11 months

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2 THINGS CAN BE TRUE (LYRIC BOOK)

(* = cut for time)

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SIDE A: PRXTTY 1) XGLY 2) BXCK XN 15TH 3) GRXWXNG PXXNS (feat. Paris Jane, KrisSoap & Chris Barnett) *4) TRXNA (feat. Vellum Bristol) 5) GXXD (feat. logan.jpg, Madi Laughlin, Keo, Paris Jane & Morgan Alexis) 6) PLXXN HXNDKXRCHXXFS 7) WXXT (feat. FAT MAMA & Vellum Bristol) 8) GXLD (AN ODE TO THE NORTH $IDE) 9) PRXTTY

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XGLY

one time in middle school this white girl named kacee called me ugly...she a crackhead now bitch where? i never seen ugly in my life, they tried to play me left cuz i didn't have the nikes, blue 32 but we wasn't yellin hike > & they stayed in my dad's trunk for a hunnid nights, ADHD in the hall i'm dancing, mr. mammoth ask if i want them fancies, everybody in the teacher's lounge is laughing, meanwhile i'm at the crib gettin my ass beat, ran to plainview one day, i did the track meet > soundtrack dave hollister & blackstreet, light blue shorts on, a nigga was matching, nothing but a beater & a napsack ask me, where i'm headed...ion't know > anywhere but here, where do i go? had headphones but they didn't relax me, pop had me fearin that the villians would catch me, every single time i would sit in the backseat, i be in my mind till a nigga attack me, the shit ugly but we keepin it handsome, lewis hubbard's favorite grandson helllll yeahhhhhhhhhhh >

when a nigga flip the script in yo face (it can get ugly 2x) when the chips is down and them niggas get gone w/o a trace (it can get ugly 2x)

when all you need is a shot but it's easier to keep you down (it can get ugly 2x)

couldn't prove it before, but everybody know about it now (it can get ugly 2x)

dumb ass niggas left to fend for themselves, see 6ix9ine, free YSL, never been down with a bullet in ya crown > so ya can't see how you'd ever need clientele > so yeah, i wire never been on me for my intel > but every time i'm in jail i get bail, the coins is different, & i'm harvey dent if i get tails > these niggas don't really know what life entails > on a cold wichita knight all i got is L's > niggas say life's a bitch? well shit i couldn't tell > stare blank at the black screen & pray they couldn't tell, where tf were you niggas when they needed help? > always wanna wear the pants when niggas needed belts > you'll hold it in ya hands just to give a nigga welts > always prayin for the juice GOD give a nigga welch > GOD give a nigga wealth right? nah, give a nigga SELF (don't nobody wanna hear that bullshit man!)

when a nigga flip the script in yo face (it can get ugly 2x) when the chips is down and them niggas get gone w/o a trace (it can get ugly 2x)

when all you need is a shot but it's easier to keep you down (it can get ugly 2x)

couldn't prove it before, but everybody know about it now (it can get ugly 2x)

i guess it ain't cold if the carots ain't froze, since when should my black thoughts be jack frost? when niggas say it's cars, clothes, money & hoes, i just look at em like "you hit it on the nose!" > that's all that these niggas want, get it on the poles! "get it on the flo, get it on the flo" pancake, chicken noodle soup on the stove, Boo tellin me deandre over hov > & to this fuckin day (deontay) on my soullllllll > i play that shit like it just came out, said it before, real shit don't play out, been there before, laid on the floor wantin my head banged out > still never once strayed from the course > and one day we gonna make our way out, the shit ugly but we keepin it handome, annie hubbard's favorite grandson hellllll yeahhhhhhhhhhh

when a nigga flip the script in yo face (it can get ugly 2x) when the chips is down and them niggas get gone w/o a trace (it can get ugly 2x)

when all you need is a shot but it's easier to keep you down (it can get ugly 2x)

couldn't prove it before, but everybody know about it now (it can get ugly 2x) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BXCK XN 15TH

it was always raised eyebrows whenever eye'd lash out told to keep my nose down not even cracked smiles i flipped the whole classroom around w/ my blackouts took four police officers fore i'd tap out nigga i ain't never duct nothing my eyes wide shut cept for prima at the bar when them guys lined up i just wanna be left alone, this nigga wanna fight > and it's prolly cuz he feel like niggas left him alone > and we did, you niggas is cheeks, and i got tired of turning mine, my back on the street face to the sky, labeled a thief no one believing the lie, we all know you was just cap thru ya teeth, only niggas who had yo back on 15th, rhyming like i'm back on 15th...

you told niggas you'd keep me off every stage in the city then proceeded to stay off every stage in the city, you ain't really known for shit in the city, when i say yo name it's just who's like a a grinch in the city, don't ever talk like you gon get me pinched in the city, it's lies, the scent and it's shitty please be advised, you played me like a fool and looked me between the eyes, then tried to play it off like you the one who survived all them late nights workin this like 9-5 > bustin live other side butterflies shuck and jive yhm folded who needed to come alive, and the whole time tryna give niggas my number 9 > it's cool tho, niggas is cujo, but i ain't finna run and hide > and the truth gon always come in time, i never claimed it tough but you ain't never sonnin mine nigga,

this is word to charlie mae rippin they lash out 4 in the morning when a nigga would crash out cooler and cookies i made a million in that house mice w/ no heat shit felt like a trap house nigga tried to scam us so we armed it to blast out said electric bill when it really was taxes patience is a skill right? we waited for that shit tried to intimidate when we was on rap shit, writing messages on windows > nervous of the crescendo, knocked my dad out and thought me and you would be ten toes 😂 y'all niggas smoking crack on 15th videos look like y'all back on 15th bet y'all wish y'all had a nigga back on 15th... i ain't spoke to tez since back on 15th tell em how yo cousin beat yo ass on 15th nigga

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GRXWXNG PXXNS (feat. Paris Jane, KrisSoap & Chris Barnett) (paris jane)

Complicated tough love runs down the lineage Any form of self love Sent on a pilgrimage Tried to find refuge In people much Less like you Come to find I couldn’t get past the residue And now it’s like Paris Jane think she better than us Nah you just think I’m better than you In actuality Ain’t That what Im supposed to do? Been scrapping barrel bottoms Ain’t a come up long overdue? But I gotta stay close under your thumb right? Can’t find myself runnin too Far past ya limelight. Just an extension of who you are I guess Then you cuss me out When I say I want some respect I can’t accept No more of you projections Acting like it’s a form of protection And i know i can’t blame you for the Mess we in But by now I feel like it ain’t a Question

You should grow up Still hurting from all the day I wished your love would Show up And when i started speakin for myself you fake Choke up Never understood that you hate how I Turnt out Tried to find my value in work Now I’m burnt out I pay my own bills and seem to always make it Work out No matter how solid the argument You ain’t Own up Mad at what you can’t control You should grow up. You really need to grow up

(marrice anthony)

i been everything under the sun but great > crumbling under the pressure blowing my lungs to say > fuck it, and now we at over a hunnid days with nothin, that picture of you holding me up collecting dust, still haven't talked cuz ain't much to discuss > you got numbers like i do, i ain't got shit but pressed buttons & haiku's, how is we rivals, bitch i'm in high school, bringing down something that was living inside you, now my daughter 7 and her daddy is like you, exited couldn't handle it but was prideful, had it up to here with the extra shit > when she ask why i ain't thug it instead of leavin i tried to > demand,

she gon grow up hating me baby i understand > fuck txny being man enough baby i'm not a man, say it in a letter to me, & i hope one day you grow up to be better than me > cuz i'm to up, still tryna keep shit tall but can't grow up, just wanna rest my head but can't slow up, somebody stop this train it can't hold up, all a nigga had was one job and i blew it, i can't say i knew it but a nigga kinda knew it, now instead of facing all my problems i'ma roll up > today was kinda hard, give that shit to God > or whatever for tmrw, nigga you needa grow up,

(krissoap)

Shit you do, I could never… .. I’m lyin’

Ain’t get my shit together…..

I’m tryin’

I used to let y’all irk me,, Now, I don’t really mind it.

I’ll only front like I’m at peace until I really find it.

I hold some principles I keep pretty simple Like, Whatever situation rent or Mortgage I’m into.

If you come up on my property Alarming my kinfolk, Yo dumbass gon have to pardon me discharging my pistol.

Up is always up Side-to-side is always side-to-side, no matter How you skew it or what portions you divide it by.

Pops and I a lot alike, Tho I’m not tryna ride a bike My son got my support, Whatever way to go he might decide.

miss me w/ the hypotheticals That might arrive.

Agree to disagree when shit Can’t be seen, Eye-to-eye. As far as petty preference shit?? Gotta leave it nappy,

If you caught up w/ some evidence,

Holla @ ya pappy.

Now l try not to show it.

I Keep scrapin by, I’m livin Check-to-check, it’s bogus

Opt to swap the focus. Cus shit done got redundant All this going through the motions, Got me down with my emotions. But To hell dat Emo shit.

Ima hold ya mama down As long as she devoted.

Ima put the effort in to raise you. You da motive.

You my son. You da homie. You just two, So you don’t know much

But ima watch you grow up Days why tf I show up

(chris barnett)

Never tried to be father of the year. Never thought that The Huxtables we're real. I only wanted to ensure that my children would never say that their father wasn't there.

My grandfather was my only example. Perfection, in my eyes, I could never amount to. 4 kids and I don't know what I'd do with you. We ain't perfect parents. Still tryna figure it out, too. More questions than answers. I ain't talking bout kids. That's for the parents. I ain't grow up in the world that they live and that's apparent So if I can't bring my kids the solution, I'll bring the effort. There's a lesson in love. I love the lesson. Our kids teach us so much but we miss the message. One thing that life taught us Is the greatest men are also active fathers.

And I'm just steady learning. Ways that I thought we're effective just isn't working. So I change up my approach cause they deserve it. Will I ever be perfect? Absolutely not. But I'ma give it everything I got And honestly, I may never get it right. There ain't no GPS for navigating life. Try to be patient with me. If something is wrong then we gon work it out as a team. Love.

*TRXNA (feat. Vellum Bristol)

TRXNA

now this is a story about how > my abusive stepmother got punched in the mouth, he shouldn't have hit her shit i ain't cappin bout it, but she treated me like shit so i was happy bout it, half the summers i would visit, i'd be in a cage > on punishment every day she loving me under foot > and i'm always lookin for marvin to whisk me away,\ liberation delayed, unexplainable rage > them ridgewood walls heard niggas argue every day, wonder what went awry, honeymoon hit the gate > no longer husband and wife more like angry roommates, would look at that lil rifle and dream of the day, only for a couple summers they would need me to wait, don't remember the year but it's like it was yesterday when yellin sprayed from front door all the way > to the bedroom, hearing expletives over marrie's oxygen tank, marvin called her a slut, i'm like "that's not cool" > she said "yep suckin and fuckin just like you", can't hear johnny tsunami, over mommy and papí, hurling insults and jumpin octaves > point of reference, one day i'm just doing my bid, tally marks on the wall, seriously i'm a kid, trxna walks by like "you done w/ this shit? clean the bathroom we'll act like this doesn't exist" i jump up out the bed, swirling around my head > all the episodes of batman beyond i've prolly missed > Levar in the other room w/ my sisters kickin it strong, up until this day i just sitting here alone so shit i'm hummin s club as i scrub the sink and, mother sneaks in like "are you singing?" i'm like yeah, and do you know what she did? told me cuz of that i was back on punishment, i'm two feet tall i was helpless and shit whack, so now i'm countin on marvin to get me my lick back >we switch back,

now they in the kitchen center of attention > trippin gettin intense and from a distance > we hear, they around the corner so it's only jeers, symone never seen this before so she in tears, monét got her face at the door the shit is fear, these niggas didn't know they parents and it was CLEAR, nobody figured how this incident would go, hand on his neck and she stepped on his foot tho > she 6'4" he 5'7" he couldn't have that, told her he would count before he turned it to mad max > flashback,

trxna's sprite just disappeared > house rules no soda less it's right before bed, house rules after dinner it's that or ice cream instead > and house rules don't ask who did it marrice did > so i'm behind the front door just doing my biddd > facing the wall a couple hours of this, my dad walks in almost hits me w/ the shit > turns to trina like "wtf this lil nigga did?" > she like "drank my sprite" he, looks back at me then her, then back at me > like, "nigga that was me!" she go oh my bad and send me back to my room > "my bad? bitch you owe me bout a hundred afternoons" seething! couldn't wait to send that bitch to her doom > STOP BREATHING, you gon be meeting the devil soon > and BOOM,

my dad's counting "get offa me trxna" she still talking, marvin: "get offa me trxna" > still barking, "one more time, get offa me trxna" > she kept scoffin and seemingly squeezing harder, then all of a sudden, the countdown ended then thud, marvin damn near knocked trxna out her scrubs, flew into the wall w/ her mouth drippin blood, she hit the bedroom and we knew what it was > and that's prolly why it took me so long to dip,| as a child retribution was hard to get > sorta like compliments > i ain't really understand it fully, i just know that my dad took down my biggest bully > after that everybody went to jail, trxna got out first she was done, i could tell, judge gave her the house for a week, my dad took me and we OUT, 9th and grove grandma house >

and that's it, i been tryna think of morals to this story > but the more i try to form it it feels forced, it isn't just to shit talk this memory's important, put it on wax cuz i didn't have the chance > to say this fore you passed > and i'm torn cuz niggas is sad, your kids are shattered here w/o you missing you bad > so on one end i prolly could leave this in the past, but on the other end it happened fuck if niggas is mad, just be thankful that i'm gifted with gab, keep in mind some years later had to fend off a lynch with a stab imagine dealing with this shit then forced to listen in class, so when i think of your mouth shining crimson i laugh, i don't condone violence against women but i must > say that that one day i liked it > and i ain't even want you to hurt you had to vibe us, push us to the side cuz wasn't room in the five > well now niggas is live wit a story that's all about how > my abusive stepmother got punched in the mouth > never forget that image of you slumped on the ground > hoping you finally felt the way i felt on the ground > with your foot on my back, you could never let me out > living hell back-to-back with the devil in my house, my dad's a piece of shit for that i'm leveled with it now > but at the same time i'm glad he took you down, 2 things can be true,

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GXXD (feat. logan.jpg, Madi Laughlin, Keo, Paris Jane, Morgan Alexis)

GXXD

i've tried everything, kept it calm when you were meddling > stalled on ever making them calls it never meant a thing, made a pause for niggas never involved, but when it came to us being dawgs > my phone didn't ring, what's the problem if it isn't me? thought we started talkin explicitly? i thought we'd open our hearts so we could to keep it peace? when really i give you my heart for you to keep a piece so in response i, give you the italy, STEP, giving space for the rememory, WRECKED, that's why i keep shit outta the songs i sketch, cuz these niggas treat it as simile > when really it is the centerpiece, the reason i'm still fighting to find this inner peace, and for a second i started to think it's in a piece, i gave you way more rope than i should > you left me laying there flat on my face, i'm good

we good

new heart new mind new life who dis, fallback champion baby i do this, throw a block party for y'all put you behind a wall > everything after that is shrugs and dubbed calls > tried everything, begged and copped pleas > unsettling, how i'm on my knees > and all fingers pointin down on me, not a woe but whoa > w/ all fingers you could count on me! bloodsucking like the count on me, either that or niggas playing like my daddy > spared the rod on me > on God on me, i was rock bottom w/ the rocks on feet, and you gon still say it's all on me, yeah, i won't even get hood on y'all i coulda, knocked you down and stood on y'all > but the best revenge is no revenge > the door is hinged, disrespectfully i'm good on y'all, i'm good,

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PLAIN HANDKERCHIEFS

i been opressed before i made a fist, thought my daddy was evil til he showed me his plain handkerchief, slavin on a hot stove while these niggas beggin me for ladle sips, everything was lit when it was bars over cadences, she don't know what the difference between rich & famous is > and i'm frustrated tryna explain the shit, you can keep the looks long as it look right where the changes sit, it don't even sound right how you niggas is phrasin it,

permanent marker, since you niggas like erasin shit, i know to the naked eye i prolly look like baphomet > and i'ma keep sayin it, you a undercard givin underhanded compliments, we just spinnin wheels till we clickin like the consonants, baby i just dominate that's how i show my dominance, still ain't got no time to die i know you niggas clockin it, heart can't ever regulate, beatin on that section 8,

raps look like essays, never have a weak day they start to call me tesfaye, and plus i'm short so i never trip on leg space, on my bitch's sunny side turnin down them egg whites, strong in my calcium, black woman breast fed, you can't get no soul from no muthafuckin website, i be in the clouds while you niggas like a test flight, press me on my dash & it's lit up like them check lights, fuck around & find out pussy this ain't sex ed, gave them niggas green lights got turned around & left read, steady tryna turn this negative into a positive, had to quit my day job & dealt with the consequence, workin out the kinks so i guess it's what you label it, never sober always out the way, what i make of it, for the last year i just been lowering my tolerance > they kicked it till they couldn't then they backed out like rhonda did, shootin for the stars until the moon feel like commonplace, i been on the road with my soul in a briefcase, i'da told diddy suck my dick on that cheesecake, i been on the grind do yo muthafuckin research, even if i fell i got up like i'm t-top,

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WXXT (feat. FAT MAMA & Vellum Bristol)

settle down, gotta bring my power level down, pick up the pot and put the kettle down,, my false starts had full stops, had to lay my head on level ground,

what do it mean when your words don't mean much, i been like a fiend, and shit been serene until it steamed up, tryna keep it a bean and clean cut but seems we at the seams tough i can't believe much,

that's all i'm tryna say, all i'm tryna, all i'm tryna say, i'm mad right now but i'ma stay,

harsh words don't soothe me much, act like i'ma leave but that's tubi, you do me how you do me, and truly, scoop me up, even when i'm parked at goofy, where tf you finna go, no other nigga had that smile as toothy, early in the morn w/ my jaw on bruce lee > you see sum that make you wan get fucked to sleep

all i'm tryna say, all i'm tryna, all i'm tryna say, i'm mad right now but i'ma stay,

dis ain't nothing i want, screaming at the phone, tryna act cheese while she's w/ nothin on, capiche she unleash the beast it's sum strong, flesh it out please believe i want it strong, but i ain't got the beats when grief's up in the home, believe me at least you see it's not for long peach i'ma beat but first i need it right, big ole prrr not curbing it for life, hurt has resurfaced first let's make it good, i ain't just into coolin it for the night, we just yelled at each other until you cried, sorry if i'm not concerned w/ laying pipe,

all i'm tryna say, all i'm tryna, that's all i'm tryna say, if it's whack rn then i'ma wait,

(FAT MAMA)

is it me, if i was there would you kiss me, is it me, if i was there,

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GXLD (AN ODE TO THE NORTH $IDE)

feeling like, fab & lil mo back in 03, > like we hit roll bounce for the soul tie, back when the thirst traps was in lofi, had me buggin on the gram wit it OD, i was tryna be the nigga with the most likes, at ya crib but ya mama didn't know me, one day go inside when ya folks slide, tho you couldn't keep quiet it was lowkey > madison, right up the, street from grove, white impala but it ain't 4 4's, most won't but my bitch gon go, damn they don't make em like this no mo, she don't give a damn that my wrist don't glow > that my hair ain't combed that my ribs don't show, cuz her nigga ain't worth shit so she like, long as i ain't gotta deal with this no mo and i got ya,

wait up, i gotta get my weight up, this gon make up for all of em them hours that you stayed up > and when i do, i choose you, like you chose me, i choose you, like you chose me,

feeling like, kid n play with the top fades, just when we stop worryin bout top 8s, i was linkin with a shorty with the box braids, over at mcadams by the bypass, she was cooler than the girls up in my class, i banged lupe & they ain't really like that, she was up on the science of the wu-tangs, show me poems that she wrote just to proof read,, but she didn't stay on the block > so them days without her felt grey on the block, wind didn't hit the same way on the porch > with them long ass legs in the way of it > AM to PM, even still today i be banking to see em > just prayin for a meet up, mighta moved around to the other side of town after while > but i always remained your vegeta, you know it right

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PRXTTY

it ain't pretty, whatever you think i am i ain't nigga, i don't even speak to fam we ain't cordial, way too much time i've spent, can't afford it, we ain't even entering into the same portals, you can see my side or not i can't force you, you ain't gotta cap my nigga it ain't for you, if i talk about you it's prolly cuz you was hatin, i don't got the mental to be frontin on no basic, saying the same shit, i got a life dawg, you got a side bitch, i got a wife dawg, you just a timestamp, get with the times dawg,,

it ain't pretty, coulda took my daddy out this bitch with that knife dawg, nigga kept beatin on my scalp on some bullshit, socked me out my mufuckin shirt at the bus stop, told me somebody always gonna control you, how ya own pop the first time you been gut punched, i be in my room dawg i ain't even do shit, father figures busta rhymes lu & q tip, ye jigga slaughterhouse nas & dilla dawg, niggas hit the superman i couldn't get wit y'all,, devon turned my song off in weights class, turned around & shit his basketball shorts in the hall, niggas couldn't take that i was flowing they hate that, now every time my shit drop i think of dawg,,

boy it ain't pretty, pops said somebody always gonna control you, i ain't felt controlled since sittin in home room, you from a place where yo children should owe you, wtf you mean dawg i don't wanna be here, fuck them high standards you be having me held to, FOR THE LAST FUCKIN TIME I HATE FOOTBALL, tellin everybody it's i don't wanna get hit, WHEN THE FUCK HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ME PLAY FOOTBALL, rap city 106 & park on the big screen, rocsi & julissa look good but i miss free, i know more jay-z verses than bible ones, couldn't even tell you who the last winning title was,,

nigga it ain't pretty, on the real y'all why our parents ain't fuck with us? never show us love but they tell us to toughen up, niggas bragging in they raps how they ain't got friends, yeah cuz the way you was livin done fucked you up, till you get some therapy and weed it will not end, yeah i smoke now i really used to be straight edge, life started lifing and a nigga said FUCK THAT, me and my baby mama ain't been on good terms, but she got me my first pack bitch i love you, michael took the kids and he put you on payments, bet you glad now that i shot him the fade huh? ya mama prolly chatting like it was my fault > well i ain't on the birth certificate, so SHUT UP, heard about them motions & you told niggas tough luck, till these niggas get it i'll be missing you butt head,,

it ain't pretty, i ain't punch this nigga to be daddy on weekends, this enough to put my fuckin neck in slipknot, i can't get my daughter so i'm fathering hip hop,,

nigga it ain't pretty,,

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side b: so yeah...now we don't talk 1) fuck you too! 2) two weeks 3) l&f (feat. Tangerine) 4) JAM!!! 5) sofia rose//2ND PLACE 6) my last song 7) ily 8) gn3 9) h&f (feat. Tangerine) *10) GET YOURS!!! *11) WICHITA!!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

fuck you too!

fuck you too

some things be needed but prolonged, i already gave you the singing and slow songs, but how i'm sposed to see you & greet you with both arms, when you got alla that & ion't mean you no harm, even when it's dark out i give you my best, if it's outta pocket i'ma hold it to the chest, cuz i know you don't like, critique, and i know you won't bite so it's me, toxic but i'm like adjustments is key, the roughness is just the mystique, once you're accustomed you'll see, that Mother is struggling with things > and it must be you, but then i'm like...

if it's fuck me, then it's fuck you

don't trip you did it so don't start, you can stop feeding me bullshit go starve, i done hit the tipping point, it's yo cause, and if the fall break me in half it's yo cost, stupid, piece me back, go ahead push me off just to need me back, couple weeks then we relapse, then repeat, on my leash you feed me scraps > toxic but i'm like adjustments is key, the roughness is just the week, but then i'm like,

fuck you too,

huh, this nigga did, every single thing to make this nigga dip, jumpin on the scalp like this nigga wig, need to be mad at what this nigga did, every single day it don't stop,, start to make a nigga go sick in the head, keep the harsh shit to my thoughts,, so know that i'ma call you a bitch in my head > speak freely, used to think forever was a thing now a nigga on the fence like feeny, can't be both iron man and mcdreamy specially for a bitch who hate making things easy, i just need weed sad songs and a lil sangria, blockin out the world with my mufuckin feet up, AH, since the lot don't care, i'ma just go fuck off somewhere, i'm talkin no service on a boat, i just need to be somewhere and not somewhere, but you gon turn that river to a moat, and remind me that i ain't really got nowhere,, you got me by the throat, i keep saying if it's fuck me it's fuck you too > all them words you been throwing out cut like a knife > keep playing one day i'ma cut you loose,

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two weeks

you been on my mind erday, i just can't rewind enough times in a day > without frying the tape, i been tryna find why the Guy in the sky > would align us to skate, prior to __ the prime was escape, i wasn't hiding or trying to cake, shyly replied to a "hey", after a night i was like i done found me a bae, privately dying to say, this too good to be true and, pardon the enter-rusion, i'm under the influence of you and, i'm mostly likely to ruin > so sure you're not an illusion? > i'm fluent in rejection and i'm > worried bout feeling stupid, nothing at all, took me on a date lil something to drink > they had me stumbling and wantin to fall > twirling my hair in my hand > had me feeling like we the only ones in the bar, drunk in lyft junkin the car, hit the crib in a jiff it was tongue and a bra, 2 am they was hittin they man > but we was lunchin tmrw, couple dates it was great then it fuckin dissolved, left me irate wondering the cause like,

dag, that hit me where it hurt baby i won't act, i know i'm not the best but am i so bad, i thought we had a thang how can i go back, only been two weeks why am i so sad?

so what happened thought we was feelin some magic? don't know how this thing goes am i out of practice? so i'm askin i'm askin is it it or me? at least then i can sit or sleep and it's only been two whole weeks > so i can't rely on our history > and ion't even know what to say now, room got quiet for the breakdown, niggas wanna know what happened, i'm like you gotta ask them, had a nigga feelin like a rebound, couldn't even catch it on the back end, had me on the floor with the madness, so ion't even know if i can reach out, ion't even know...

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l&f (ft. Tangerine)

it's hard right now, ion't really wanna talk right now, small dog light bark right now> is you crying? lie me out to chalk right now > senses heightened, scrambling for a thought right now, & i thought i was a bison, heavy to the ground > now i'm lying on this mound hands tightened, right in, your lost and found...

wondering, why you got me doing all the guessing? chano said he ain't wanna write him a confessions > why is my development arrested > & why i can't imagine you invested > you told me you'd be straight up > but why i'm feelin slanted every second? on my way out but you had me intercepted, yeah, you had me in a second, round of applause, you had me in a mess with, my head down making thousands of calls like... wow, she gone? how? we was bound to the arm! in the ring shop browsing the jawns! now it's insom, nia denouncing the calm, i just wanna take you out like it's prom, but maybe it's too late for that > before i fade to black you'll be my channel orange,

but what i found is, what we founded, can't be lost, i'll pay the cost > you can count it, cuz when this hothead defrost > it's easier to get this shit across, but...it's hard right now, ion't really wanna talk right now > but even after all that i'ma be right here, cuz you all that i got right now,

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JAM!!!

i'll send out a message, don't need to hear back, if you put some distance, keep shit where you at, don't be running game just to try and run it back, jumping out the blue finna make a nigga black, shortness in this fuse i refuse to interact, 30 in my groove i'm just moving with some tact, but i ain't holdin shit and if you swing i'm swingin back, and you need it vertical then it can just be that, THAT'S A FACT

like damn, niggas really hate me bro i do not understand, if i say that i'm the best it's cuz that's what i am, no need to explain it we can come to understand, that your silence is dope to me, that shit is my jam,

i am not yo nigga, i do not play fakes, you put hands on women, i do not save face, we can keep it pigeon, you can play it safe, but if this shit go south we givin alabama shakes, this ain't dr. phil this ain't montell or ricki lake, bitch i said it and i meant it this is not up for debate, nigga show got canceled playing like commercial breaks, pussy we been onto you, you the one who late, YOU A PLATE,

OH DAMN, nigga tried to bait me musta forgot who i am, nun my niggas stingy even passed it to the fam, nigga tried to take a stand and got turned to a SCRAM, niggas put the beats on you and that shit was my jam,

yes, floss it if you bossin niggas besta come correct, word vomit got you with them faucets in yo neck, you was outta pocket and i put yo ass in check, THEN I KEPT ON BARKING CUZ I GIVE YOU NO RESPECT, niggas got it twisted shits don't even touch they neck, ______ this the sound of all the niggas at yo set, we movin the needle now, you niggas can jet, and say it to yo audience before you try to flex, man that shit look hot up there, you could use some fans, i ain't see nobody there, shoulda called the fam, them niggas talk down to me and forgot who i am > keith sweat track 11 nigga THAT SHIT IS MY--

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sofia rose//2ND PLACE

sofia rose all this back & forth keeping me on my toes, tension thicker than sofia rose, and here i am forgetting codes, all combos to stop from throwing bows > Mama wanna find ctrl but it ain't sos > more like, soshana, watching it burn, pocket the ash you got what you earned, all this theater for it to be bombed in the rows > the clock in my sock the shots at the do', we about to bring it all home,, put it by the bedside, you feel that fireball in yo chest on the left side? ain't no horizon in that, this is pride & you can have it i ain't fighting for that,,

set drama the lights not up,, admonish my best i'ma,, get gonna and let shit line up > i'm just tryna, find us, higher ground but, you'd rather be my hell on high water, kept it 5'2" and not an inch taller, must've found the heart of dumballa > the switch, overall shed light on you doll, yeah we family & that family made me rival you dawg > look like my mama so it's trauma at the site of you dawg it be ya own blood stumping out that family tree, cuz when the shit cut down it don't matter the rings, extended an olive branch it's like walking a tight rope, cuz one slip of a line and i fall in the street, look inward n word, accountability is hard to find, i'm sure you've had the thought a thousand times, but the crowd favorite never gotta compromise, saying dumb shit but people view you calm & wise, on your end i'm sure the story has been falsified, you had your take so how i'm wrong for mine? you got that monkey on ya back & then that mufucka started flying,

___

put ya hands on me out of emotion,, in this divide what is the quotient > got ya best friend stepping in, outspoken, might've been off but couldn't focus > all i know is you view me as a threat cuz i'm bigger than you, i'm not wrong & i refuse to be the villain for you, or stifle feelings to hit a low ceiling for truth > and all them cards & calls you sending isn't a truce > all this, verbal & mental abuse > college grad so it's malicious you being obtuse, i expect the world leave me out to cold but it's bold > when those you held down the ones who did it to you, all this back & forth keeping me on my toes, tension thicker than sofia rose, cuz in front of the lens it's one thing > but you know how it goes, if you know you know

my last song

can't let my 30's be the lot of my story, might have to debo God + ask what he got on my 40 > poorly handling every misstep skipped prep + floored it > my former, not at peace penalized + underfed, only decompression i ever got was a beat, so i rapped about rapping as far as the eye can see > i'm sane since thirteen i'm the same right? capiche > analyzed the whole crowd every time the pastor preach like, that man is abusive, rap hands still exclusive, can't stand on my two since, i'm a child > black hands on my noggin, sagged pants got suspension, feel like jail in this kitchen, every morning is tension, all my woes weren't mentioned, i just sat in my room, cries + pleads for attention, turned to sleep in detention, when i put it on my wall it wasn't cuz i was a teen, it was cuz i just wanted to be seen, but you never saw,

you loved your women, you loved your cars, you loved your brown cigarettes + medals for your cause, you left me in the hospital stitches + gauze,

+ honestly i ain't even that strong fr i'm just tryna make it back home fr, but if i don't get right, i think this might, fuck around + be my last song fr

all i wanted was my stereo + sneakers, all you wanted was appearances + features, all you talked about was war, 17 in the force, meanwhile i'm 15 staring at you while you speaking like, what are you saying to me? i'm not a parent but then apparently, neither are you, you wasn't ready for this + still you seeing it thru, just a house full of strangers your bedroom was a commute >

my only solace was compiling it in song, until you came along, i had a fuckin mountain, so now when, i think about the therapy you sent me to, white man little water fountain > i clown it because the truth, only therapy i wanted you would take from me, i still carry it around + it's aging me > the only boy in the blood + couldn't even get a hug > i just wanna know the reason why you hated me cuz,

you loved that navy, you love yo friends, you loved my mama, + i can't win, i see my future, + that shit spent, i ain't had it good since i was ten, that ain't even that long fr i just hope you miss me when i'm gone fr, cuz if i don't get right, i think this might, fuck around + be my last song fr

the young boul that you couldn't love, i'm good despite never being good enough, the young boul that you couldnl't love, you think it you but you shouldn't love, i'm sorry you wasn't good enough, but if you here then you good enough,

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ily

there's a reason why i don't call ever, to hear you talk about the fall weather, or jump states to cut cake > my whole life you felt like a pump fake like we ain't fam, playing favorites mocking me every day it seems + till this day you treat me like i'm a kid i just be asking you for help but you be giving me shit, eyes rolled like here we go same song + dance i know how to get a job i'm a grown ass man but in that vein i gotta thank you cuz your hurt helped me stand out, i never ask for a hand out i don't have much but i work hard for what i need & never give up, i fall just to get up, i'm tall in my spirit cuz in flesh you always cut me down i made peace w/ neglect on them cheyenne steps > w/ respect you suck highkey, but i just wanna say i love you, even tho i know you never liked me, i take mental snapshots of me seeing you ill then couple that w/ fond memories of cleaning your grill + mowing your lawn at 10, having to keep my head off the seat after a trim, looking at my uncle + the pain in his eyes like he's losing a friend, wanting to know why i ain't feel like him, the emotions cold then a flashback to 12 years old, when you i told me killed my mama now i know why you never put me first, even at your hearse i'm thrown in like "here nigga damn", watching my sister, + my cousin crumbling at the stand, meanwhile yet again i'm left off the program but cool,

i take the hint in death, the feeling's mutual some gon say i ain't have the chance to get used to you i could've done it spiteful but nah, i say this w/ a broken heart that i love you, even if i ain't like you,

this might be the realest shit i ever wrote, lookin at my mama thru a telescope, smoking cigarettes at her vanity, the only time i was like "this is family", this city burned down my home so i can't remember, now all that's left is these faded pictures, + this dining room that shook when i paraded in it silence in the living room looking out the window of the babysitter's, when does mom come home, that golden cavalier pulling up in the driveway now it's just a garage space, w/ a shiny blue light to make the night quake, nowadays it's just not worth the time change, took a moment, to lay this out in white chalk, we might talk but we know what it is sleeping under detroit's night fall hurt, cuz i know i love y'all to the moon + back, but i don't like y'all,

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gn3

i'm pretty sure you heard this whole thing before i wrote it, you know my thoughts before i say em but i never told ya, how sorry i am for running you up the wall > w/ a million other things on your plate, i never saw > how hard you worked, the stress lines when my principal would call your work, marrice trippin again, tried therapists + riddlin > the pews to the belt ain't make a difference > nigga just wasn't listening > now it's too late to buy you flowers, or pay for ya car, send you off to a weekend w/ ya friends to the spa > to make up for it, it came w/ a cost, you off in paradise while i'm stuck missing your calls > my phone don't ring no more, at least not the same, sometimes i wonder even if you even miss me, w/ no direct line to speak to my sunshine, i really just pray that you forgive me, cuz i'm not sure,

i got my ass straight up whooped ain't no timin out, now i know it's abuse but i was wylin out, soccer games + t ball, church every sunday > n64 + power rangers galore > in this little house, rode in betsy like a jet ski, 2004 i started to be a chore, sent me off to kansas now i'm left at the morgue, w/ a shell of a woman who really couldn't afford > to be dealing w/ a failing marriage, + a headstrong boy who's acting out > i needed that cap + gown > but i made you feel like a bad parent, like you fuckin failed, 18 years later i'm still dumb as hell, but w/ that tho i live in regret, i know down in my heart that i'm doing my best > + that's all you ever expected so until i'm dipped > buttered in heaven, may the Lord keep you rested cuz i'm not sure,

i haven't spoken to you in ever, in voice or in heart > even forgot how you sound + it tore me apart, way before the touch screens you'd dearly depart > clutch dreams to see my spitting image in a feminine > cart,

my God, she is the seamless version my guard, ian > ang is living in my stars > my reason to resist death, resend my regards to the chef > my enlarged kept beating, lying on the floor > counting dots on the ceiling, crying out for more > you appeared in a breathing vision straight from michigan's core screaming,

get up + so i got up > + made a promise to never lay back down > in style of, your determination, you deserve amazing, i feel you slipping + i'm scared to be w/o, just keep me close till i make it out,

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h&f (ft. Tangerine)

sorry baby i know i'm not real communicative, number one rule of thumb and i scraped it, maybe i need a satellite signal, broadcast to all my old favorites, "i'm not mad just hurt, save a place for me", when it's squared away i'ma circle back, i'ma always try, even if it's tri, still gon light yo phone up even when it's dry, your fingers in my palms felt like sandpaper,, you must be nervous i can see it in yo eyes, showed up to the set lookin pretty in white dolo, lookin like a cup of bobo with cinnamon thighs > my feminine side, sensitive to seeing you, wonder if you seeing me or seeing thru, didn't put that ice on that wound like i needed to, now i just want you to say my name like it's beetlejuice >

i made you a plate, and you barely ate, you said it was great, you even stayed late, made another plan for a date then ghost, pick it up from my lens, what the fuck you mean healing and friends?

opened that chest up but then i sealed it again, every time i think i'm numb i start to feel it again, went to reach out i'm blocked so i conceal it again > hey bloody, here i go rappin bout bitches again > maybe they ain't get my first message, i'ma send it again > fuck, blocked on both pages can't spin it again > i think it's me, then remember that it isn't again > still i'm defeated, head down timid again > reminding myself, action vs intention again, see you out and it's tension, averting eyes, you ain't gotta play i know that i was lookin fine, and you know i got it hot when it was cookin time > house special, the way i, made them little legs shake i, had you thinking this dick was AI,, and not just cuz i crossed over they eyes, it was too good to be real, guess chivalry was killed > and i brought it back like a séance, after that it got darker than draymond or djimon > a lovebomb, maybe they just needed some dick > to ride on, hold on, got this clown suit i'ma try on > cuz i waited a week, just tryna feel it again, opened my chest up but you sealed it again > cuz it was phony, you pulled up put the pussy on me > then told me you had to focus on healing & friends,

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GET YOURS!!!

nigga i'm deceased,, i ain't seen a dollar in about a couple weeks, hand over the counter tryna counter the receipts, finger to the timer lil mama needin sneaks, sorry baby daddy gotta figure out the lease, happy that i showed up to yo mama's w/ the least, i ain't have the commas i been off tryna release, had to find a balance i been back n forth w/ balance > for a credit score yellow or red like the chiefs, ain't no tippin on 4's i was slippin on 3's, never hit the goal i'ma flip it in the streets, clickin in the code but they sayin it's a breech, sayin it's a reach if you sayin issa beach i'm just sand > hard pebbles in the feets > underground till the ground have me sleepin under sheets, nigga i been eatin cheese and crackers for week, you really on my bumper for a beat?

i ain't bullshittin i'm just takin my time, you gotta be patient when you fuckin w/ mine, you really gotta get it, my nigga i'm tryin, it ain't like you ain't comin w/ me we on the climb > but this type of thing happens all the time, you gotta get yours and i gotta get mine

i'm not tryna be an asshole i just want the maxo, cream i can lasso > pushin up to onyx w/ the dash glow, but it's all a gimmick w/ no cash flow > so i'ma channel my best jigga until they say the jig is up > the finisher: zero point zero on the points > got me reachin for the indica, i ain't got a moniker or emblem > they crying bout promotion > well nigga i been tryna get the word out by knockin it on seneca > and harry and grove it's scary to know > my very, existence depends on the ascension > i'm missing the soul, siftin thru songs like "what did i get wrong?" > i'm runnin out of stones > w/ the snap of a finger i'ma be lifted out of robe > to a seat at the table w/ the suits spinnin the globe > as i'm sittin there at my best, i already know > what one of em finna say before i get my coat

like here's the papers nigga when can you sign, a couple little swoops for the money and shine > you don't wanna miss out you come a dollar a dime, you're not the only talent we just happened to find > you know this sort of thing happens all the time, you gotta get yours and i gotta get mine, this kinda thing happens all the time, i gotta get yours and you gotta get mine >

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