#3x11 adam's ribs

[letters-from-the-4077]

3x11: Adam's Ribs

Dear Dad,

Remember that flu season back in ’32? When it felt like you were gone every night jumping to every single household with a kid in it because everyone all got sick all at once? And how it was after mom died but you decided that I was old enough to stay home alone, only for you to come back on that Tuesday to find me throwing up my guts all over the floor?

Good times. Terrible times, actually, but despite my pacifistic tendencies, I’d fucking kill to go through that again than the fresh hell that is my current hell. I nearly wrote you this letter from the latrines, which is terrible on multiple levels, especially considering I was actually looking forward to write to you this time.

I’ve said before that one of these days I’m finally going to snap, and even though I’m still in one piece, I’m not convinced that it’s an uncracked one. Eleven days. Eleven straight days of liver of fish, making our own damn never ending season of seafood up in Maine truly dwarf in size. Eleven straight days and I’m half convinced that each subsequent day was just the previous one’s leftovers! The fact that they’re serving us kidney at all blows my fucking mind, and over a week and a half of it for every meal has me half convinced that I’ve dreamt it all up.

They don’t tell you about how every grueling day feels like a dream, same motions, same food, same jokes, just different supporting actors underneath my scalpel. 

On the seventh day God rested, and on the eleventh day Hawkeye Pierce fucking cracked. Like I said, there’s only so many days where a man can eat liver of fish. Trap and I made this ridiculous plan—honestly, dad, I didn’t think about it working or not. I just needed something to break up the monotony. Anything. ANYTHING.

You know the place in Chicago I told you about however many years ago? The one that had the best barbequed ribs in the entire country? Couldn’t remember the name at first, but it’s Adam’s Ribs. 

Adam’s Goddamn Ribs.

A couple of pulled strings and a hell of a lot of favors somehow managed to bring us back to Chicago. Or I guess Chicago to us. It doesn’t matter- the only thing that mattered is that we somehow fucking managed to get Adam’s Ribs in the worst corner of all of Korea and Igor cooked them up and hell dad, they were the best damn things I think I’ve ever smelled in my life. 

Course, ambulances poured in the second I had my hands on them, but it made for a hell of an OR session. That’s how they should be teaching speed for MASH surgeons. Nevermind the live rounds and constant shelling, just put the idea of tantalizing, edible food on a stick right above a surgeon and you’d get the fastest cutters in the West. East.

But, oh father, I know what you’re thinking now: why the reminder of the great flu season of 1932 when so far the only thing your dear child has spoken about has been spare ribs from the great state of Illinois?

Here’s where the story gets good. And by good, I mean fucking terrible.

Great OR session, by the way. Took out enough shrapnel out of intestines to build a full new bomb, and not a single patient lost. Igor reheated the ribs for me and Trap and we had what could only be described as the greatest midnight snack in the history of the entire war. Or not just in the war, but in the history of the entire world. We headed back to our bunks more full than after a Thanksgiving spread, and not even Frank’s sniveling could change a thing.

That is before a solid and conscience five minutes had passed.

Five minutes. Five lousy minutes of euphoria that just nearly made me forget about the terrible place that I’d been forced into. And then I spent the next hour and a half, throwing up every single bit of edible food. Made the worst flu pale in comparison, I’ll tell you that much. Couldn’t even make it to the latrine the first time, and I think I scared the wits outta Trapper since it probably sounded like I was vomiting up my organs right outside his side of the tent. 

He’s a good man, Trap. Picked me up off the ground like you would’ve and helped me stumble to the latrines where I could continue throwing up every bit of goodness that I had managed to make for myself in this camp. Practically held my hair back like I was his girl, believe it or not. 

I’m writing this letter from post-op, you know. Trap’s got himself convinced that I managed to get food poisoning from the long trip that the ribs made in order to get from us. Not sure how he’s reached that conclusion given that he has exactly zero symptoms, but hell, I’m not volunteering any other explanations to him.

Between you and me, I think I’ve become a bit of a cuckoo, if you can read between the lines there. 

I mean, what sane person would practically stage a mutiny just to get food from a specific restaurant that he couldn’t even remember the name of in the first place? If Henry was just 2% more done with my shit, he could’ve gotten me in real trouble. Hell, if Henry was any other CO, I’d probably be on trial with a death sentence looming over my head for the shit I pulled just to get the first real food I’d have since stepping foot on that plane. 

All that just to throw it up a few minutes later. I may not have snapped quite yet, but I’m cracking, dad. 

I hope next flu season is kind to you up there.

Love, Hawkeye

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[wellntruly]

MASH doctors be woken out of a dead sleep by corporals in the middle of the night and dozily hanging on to their wrists for 4-12 television seconds, and it's something like more than I can say idk

M*A*S*H, 3x11 ‘Adam’s Rib’ / 4x05 ‘The Late Captain Pierce’

[kermits-cup-of-tea]

Now you've got me excited for S5. I'm used to some of the expected sexism crap from older shows (mostly from old Trek), though the Callahan and Captain Sherman scene wasn't great. Do you remember if there's anymore scenes like that? I'd rather avoid those.

I got lucky, I didn't even know there was supposed to be a laugh track to the episodes, so I guess I found the trackless ones in my search. Think I definitely prefer it without them too

yah theres a couple rough episodes like that, lemme send the list just so you have it in case it gets old. i cant remember if there are many more like that one, but i know margaret gets a few really rough episodes (same in the movie so heads up if you decide to watch that) the ones with double stars are particularly important/good

oh hell yah, you hit the jackpot. the laugh track is fine but it takes so much away from important moments, glad you found the non-laugh track version first!

1x01 pilot

1x02 to market, to market

1x03 requiem for a lightweight

**1x04 chief surgeon who?**

**1x06 yankee doodle doctor**

1x07 bananas, crackers, and nuts

1x08 cowboy

1x10 i hate a mystery

1x12 dear dad

**1x15 tuttle**

**1x17 sometimes you hear the bullet**

1x19 the longjohn flap

**1x20 the army-navy game**

**2x01 divided we stand**

**2x02 5 o’clock charlie**

2x04 for the good of the outfit

2x05 dr pierce and mr hyde

**2x06 kim**

**2x10 the sniper**

2x11 carry on, hawkeye

2x12 the incubator

2x15 officers only

**2x22 george**

**2x24 a smattering of intelligence**

3x04 iron guts kelly

3x05 o.r.

3x06 springtime

3x09 alcoholics unanimous

**3x11 adam’s ribs**

3x12 a full rich day

**3x14 private charles lamb**

**3x17 the consultant**

**3x18 house arrest**

3x19 aid station

**3x21 big mac**

3x23 white gold

**3x24 abyssinia, henry**

[leonardcohenofficial]

two observations about this scene: 1) “big fella” is extremely obviously dubbed in later which begs the question; if not then why 2) use of the phrase “big fella” precedes the nickname “big john” as described in 3x11 adam’s ribs by over two seasons which means that the MASH writers needed us to know that john francis xavier “trapper” mcintyre has a huge cock from the fifth episode of the series

[onekisstotakewithme]

Hi there! I'm hoping you can help me. I want to introduce my girlfriend to MASH, but I haven't actually watched it in so long. I have access to the first three seasons on DVD. Do you have any top episodes from those seasons that I show show her???

Hello! Yes! For sure. Though I think I’ll cheat the rules a bit and give you a (personal) top 5 for each of the first three seasons.

Season 1:

Chief Surgeon Who (1x04)

Yankee Doodle Doctor (1x06)

Dear Dad (1x12)

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet (1x17)

Dear Dad... Again (1x18)

Season 2:

5′O Clock Charlie (2x02)

Kim (2x06)

Dear Dad... Three (2x09)

Deal Me Out (2x13)

Crisis (2x21)

Season 3:

Check Up (3x07)

Life With Father (3x08)

Alcoholics Unanimous (3x09)

Adam’s Rib (3x11)

Aid Station (3x19)

As I said, these are only my personal favourites, so if anyone else wants to sound off in the tags or anything...

[buckbylightning]

because i'm not gonna stop pushing you all to watch mash, here's a non-comprehensive list of (mostly) early episodes to get you into it:

bolded ones are especially good 

start with the 1x01 pilot 

then watch 1x02 to market to market

i now encourage you to watch them a bit out of order if you feel like it

1x05 the moose

1x06 yankee doodle doctor

1x09 henry please come home

1x12 dear dad

1x15 tuttle

1x17 sometimes you hear the bullet

1x19 the longjohn flap 

1x20 the army navy game

2x02 5 oclock charlie

3x11 adam’s ribs

you have to watch 3x24 and then 4x01, 4x02 and 4x03 before watching anything past that

if you thought it was gay before, it gets really gay now folks!

4x05 the late captain pierce

4x07 the bus

4x25 the interview

5x01 and 5x02 bug out pt 1&2

6x07 the light that failed

6x11 the m*a*s*h olympics

7x08 they call the wind korea

7x11 point of view

8x22 dreams

if you’re not in love at this point i can’t help you

[gaysails]

as promised here’s the final installment of gaysails approved mash prequel episodes: s3 edition!! bolded ones are what I would recommend for the season highlights, the rest were not as overall quality but still had many good things to offer

3x02 The Rainbow Bridge

3x03 Officer of the Day

3x04 Iron Guts Kelly

3x05 O.R. (sidney appearance in this one)

3x09 Alcoholics Unanimous

3x11 Adam’s Ribs

3x13 Mad Dogs and Servicemen

3x14 Private Charles Lamb

3x16 Bulletin Board (a must watch for the tug of war scene alone)

3x17 The Consultant

3x19 Aid Station

3x20 Love and Marriage

3x21 Big Mac

3x22 Payday

3x23 White Gold

3x24 Abyssinia, Henry

also two additional episodes come with content warnings, 3x07 Check Up has the best “hawkeye is in love with trapper” content but margaret’s b plot is atrocious and very triggering for eating disorders 😡 also 3x18 House Arrest has some good scenes but you HAVE to turn it off around the 21 minute mark (right after hawkeye and radar’s conversation). the rest of the episode after that goes downhill straight into the trash because they decided it needed r*pe jokes for some unfathomable reason. but overall the back half of the season is pretty solid

[carryonhawkeye]

The Twilight Zone 1x08 Time Enough At Last || M*A*S*H 3x11 Adam’s Ribs

[hhawkeye]

Horny 'non back again with the Suggestive Hawkeye Noises Reel. Fun lil gem in 3x11 at 9:13, courtesy of Adam's Ribs.

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