#39;Naked Selfies Until I Die&

[justwritethatdown]

Ahm. .39 please? Thanks!*

39. “Please come home, I miss you”

First of all thank you so much for sending me this, it was my first prompt ever! I really hope you like it, it came out way longer than I expected 

WARNING: this was written listening to ‘Lover’on shuffle, so read it at your risk

Mostly based on Taylor Swift’s ‘False God’ but honestly it’s inspired by Taylor swift in general 

Words count: 4809

Rating: I’d say a light M, there’s no smut but sex is mentioned and implied many times, also there’s a bit of cursing…

We still worship this love

Beca was on her first (of many, hopefully) Europe tutor. After signing with DJ Khaled two years before, her career in pop music took a leap and she had published two albums already, the first one took her around the US for a sold out tour that set the ground for her second one to be a worldwide success, which lead her to Paris, Nice, Rome, Milan, Berlin, Dublin and currently London. She had still two cities in the UK before moving to Holland, Spain and finally head back home, home where her girlfriend was waiting for her.

Since they got together Beca and Chloe had spent more time apart than in the other’s presence; the two best friends had very recently found the words and the courage to talk about what their feelings for each other really were and Beca had to leave for her tour almost immediately after that.

-

Beca didn’t really think about the consequences when she wrote a painful song about pinning / unrequited love, way too detailed for Chloe or any of their aca-friends to have any doubts on who the person she wrote it for was, and the release of said song as the first single of her newest album lead to their group chat blowing up for a day straight and a sobbing redhead showing up to the front door of Beca’s apartment in the West Village. Beca feared the worst at the sight of her friend that upset about her feelings, but she soon found out that those feelings were the same ones Chloe had bottled up for as long as the brunette did. 

They spent the night together, kissing and exploring each other’s bodies, learning how to please one another, discovering how it felt to be with a woman and how it felt to be with someone they both had spent years fantasizing about. In the morning, when Beca woke up curled up to Chloe’s naked back and realized it wasn’t just another one of her dreams, she felt an happiness she’d never felt before, it was like she’d been asleep for this whole time and she was just now seeing the daylight.

She felt the redhead stretch in her arms and turn to face her with a soft, calm smile “good morning” she whispered before gently kissing her “I love you" answered Beca after their lips parted, which caused Chloe to kiss her again, more firmly. It wasn’t the first time any of them phrased her feelings like that, they shared many ‘I love you’s during the night, but it still sounded new to them and made both of their hearts burst out of happiness. When their kiss came to an end Beca pushed back a little to be able to look at Chloe, the golden morning light illuminating her face and body made the petite girl think she didn’t want to see anything else for the rest of her life. Just Chloe.

The group chat was still blowing up, ignored from the both of them until then. “Oh my God, when are they going to calm down?” groaned Beca and Chloe giggled shifting under the sheets to reach for Beca’s phone on the nightstand before going back to snuggle into the brunette, she made sure to cover every ‘indecent’ part of their bodies before snapping a selfie of them and sending it to the Bellas chat “DUDE!” gasped the brunette grabbing her phone but it was too late, the photo was delivered and their friends were already starting to completely lose their minds about it. “Why did you do this?” she whined staring at her screen filling with celebrative messages and a ‘FUCKING FINALLY! Pun intended 😏😏 ✂️✂️✂️✂️’ by Stacey that made Beca’s mouth fall open and go incredibly dry, while she was blushing in horror and embarrassment. “To answer to all their questions at once” explained Chloe taking the buzzing device from Beca’s hands and abandoning it somewhere on the bed before starting kissing along the brunette’s neck making her inhale sharply “yeah, o-okay but… we better put this away" she observed escaping from the redhead’s arms and putting her phone back on the nightstand “…unless you want to send them a video too" she joked with a fake annoyed voice that made Chloe giggle and move to straddle the brunette “Nope. This is just for us" she purred pushing her back on her back, looking at her with the sweetest sexy expression Beca had ever seen. She’d never wrapped her mind around the fact that Chloe could be so incredibly hot and adorable at the same time, it took her breath away.

“I have to take off next week” sighed Beca sadly; they were still laying on her bed on top of each other, Beca’s right ear near Chloe’s navel while the fingertips of her left hand traced random paths on her abdomen “I know…” huffed Chloe, gently stroking dark locks of hair.  

Suddenly Beca sat up straight startling the other girl a little “we can do this, right?” she asked panicking “hey…” whispered Chloe sitting up and cupping Beca’s cheek “…I’ve waited too long for this to let it go now, we’ll make things work" she assured her “I want to be with you and a couple of weeks apart won’t stop me" she added “it’s almost a month Chlo… with different time zones and-“ Chloe cut her off with a kiss. Beca was always the pessimist between them and the redhead was used to having to convince her things were gonna be alright, but this time she felt like her life depended on that. “Listen to me, do you trust me?” she asked “always” answered Beca without losing a beat “then would you close your eyes and just jump in this with me? I know it’s gonna work, I feel it" she begged her touching her own chest “can you do it for me?” she added swallowing, it was barely whispered, so quietly that Beca wouldn’t have heard it if Chloe wasn’t basically sitting on her lap. The brunette delicately wrapped her fingers around her wrist, gently tugging at it and lacing their fingers together “I would die for you" she assured looking into the watery blue eyes in front of her with such a seriousness that let Chloe knew she really meant that, it made her chest rise and a hint of a smile appeared on her face “please don’t ever do that" she breathed out resting her forehead on Beca’s.

-

“We were crazy to think Crazy to think that this could work Remember how I said I’d die for you? We were stupid to jump In the ocean separating us Remember how I’d lie to you?”

Things went downhill pretty quickly when Beca left. The two girls were just in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and only the fact of not being able to be all over each other the whole time was enough to drive them crazy. To worsen the situation Chloe had her finals at vet school and Beca had those goddamn paparazzi following her everywhere.

The petite girl was always very closed up and kept her personal life super private, she never thought about officially coming out because it was nobody’s business and she couldn’t see why that mattered. She told her friends she was bisexual a few years ago and was pretty sure her father always knew. None of them made so much of a deal about it, as it should be, but the most obsessed fans were speculating on her sexuality and constantly talking about the fact that choosing George Michael’s ‘Freedom! ���90’ as a debut song was a pretty clear statement and her not mentioning a man in the single nor in the whole album just increased their theory about her being gay. Some of them even guessed the song was about her former college friend and co-captain Chloe Beale, stating that they always had good chemistry during the Bellas’ performances, but they were wondering why she wasn’t on tour with her (like if she had nothing else to do with her life). So yeah, everyone was up in her business and she hated it. They were constantly taking pictures of her making up stories about her and Theo or her and some member of her security team or her and some random people she didn’t even know.

Beca and Chloe were constantly fighting about nothing; their conversations usually started with the right foot, but as soon as one of them said something that wasn’t exactly what the other wanted to hear things escalated quickly.

“are you still or already awake? These time zones are messing with my brain. Anyway I just got to the hotel room after the concert, I really wish you were here with me right now" lamented Beca through the phone “how’s the study going?” “ugh it’s so boring, please come home, I miss you” whined Chloe in response “baby…” sighed Beca heavily “you know I can’t do that, there’s a contract and… and even if there wasn’t one, there’s people who’s been waiting to see me for months, they look forward to this! I can’t let them down like t-“ “you mean you don’t want to” interrupted her Chloe. Beca wasn’t that keen on the idea of having screaming people who worshipped her and would do anything to see her, but she felt the sense of responsibility that came from all of that and she didn’t want to disappoint anyone. After a pause Beca cleared her throat and replied “no… no I don’t want to, that would be rude and unprofessional.” “of course you don’t” stated the redhead “why should you? You’re living your best life, sorry for being so boring that I have to study to be a vet and can’t be your groupie” “excuse me? My what now!? Where did that come from?” exclaimed Beca outraged.  

“And you can’t talk to me when I’m like this Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you You’re the West Village You still do it for me, babe They all warned us about times like this They say the road gets hard and you get lost When you’re led by blind faith Blind faith”

After not getting a response she scoffed “you know what Chloe? I can’t talk to you when you’re like this. Call Amy or Flo… see whoever’s in New York and go get some fresh air because these fucking finals are driving you insane" “yeah sure, blame it on my exams, on the fact that I’m stressed out, say what you want. The truth is that our lives are different, you should just break up with me… I’m just a burden for you, you should be out there enjoying your celebrity life" Beca knew Chloe wasn’t serious about that, that she was just trying to provoke her for some reason, to scare her maybe, and in all honesty she succeeded. Only the thought of not being with Chloe, to lose her, knocked all the air out of Beca’s lungs ‘Chlo, you know you’re everything to me, don’t say things like that please’ was what she wanted to say, but instead what came out of her mouth was “bullshit! Stop throwing your fucking insecurities at me Beale, it’s not my fault if you think that of yourself” and then hung up.

She knew she screwed up, if Chloe was insecure about their relationship her job was to let her know how solid it was, how deep her feelings for her were, not to yell at her like that, but Beca was like a wild animal (a rather small one, like a raccoon or one of those flying squirrels) and as such she tended to bite when bothered. Fighting with Chloe was the absolute worst, no matter who ‘won’ the fight, she always ended up wounded or at least bruised, it pained her to hurt Chloe just as much as it did when Chloe hurt her. She knew it was the situation they were fighting, that they didn’t really mean any of the things they said during their fights, but it hurt all the same.

Aubrey warned them, she flown all the way to New York, sat them down one evening before Beca left and told them it would have been hell, that they would have been frustrated most of the time, that Beca would have hated the tour and Chloe wouldn’t have passed her exams as brilliantly as she could have. But they (Beca actually) fought her about it, explaining to her how what they had was stronger and different and that they would have been okay, that she knew that. Chloe’s heart felt so full seeing her girlfriend, who was so pessimistic about it only a couple of days before, so sure about them; just because Chloe promised her that morning they spent in her bed. And she believed her, she believed her like people believed in God, with no proof, just blind faith.

“I’m not saying that I have doubts about your feelings for each other, I saw this grow before my own eyes, I’d be a fool to doubt that. I’m just saying that this is the worst way to start a relationship. You should wait until the tour is over and you’re both in the same city again" stated the tall blonde standing in front of them in a power pose with her hands on her hips “Aubrey, I feel like I’ve been waiting for my whole life. I can’t wait anymore.” At that confession Beca made looking into Chloe’s eyes Aubrey let her arms fell on her sides with a sigh “okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you"

“But we might just get away with it Religion’s in your lips Even if it’s a false god We’d still worship We might just get away with it The altar is my hips Even if it’s a false god We’d still worship this love We’d still worship this love We’d still worship this love”

The night after the fight Beca was a wreck and her concert wasn’t as good as the others. When Chloe read about it on the online gossip magazines she felt terrible. She hated it when Beca was upset and knowing the reason was her, destroyed her. She wanted to support Beca and celebrate her and be there for her, not bring her down and less than anything she wanted to set her free like she told her the other night. When she knew Beca had arrived in Manchester she sent her a text

Hey babe, give me a call when you’re settled? Promise I won’t pick up another fight. Love you xx (♡C)

Love you too (-> ♡C)

Was all Beca replied, she was tired from the sleepless night and still grumpy from the fight but she appreciated the message and didn’t want to make things worse by ignoring it or replying something stupid. Chloe took her reply as a win, at least the brunette still felt like letting her know she loved her.

Chloe let out an heavy breath running her fingers through red locks, she couldn’t wait to tell Beca how sorry she was and how much she loved her. The sudden buzzing of her phone made her jump and then smile “hey b-“ “I was an idiot” Beca’s voice through the phone interrupted her and she raised her eyebrows in surprise “I don’t know why I always do this” continued the brunette “maybe it’s some sort of self destructive behaviour or maybe the trauma from my parents’ divorce” she scoffed “but anyway… I tend to break the things that I love, but I won’t do that to us. I-I don’t wanna hurt you, like… ever! It’s the most painful thing for me to do. And I don’t want to lose what we have” she stopped to take a breath and Chloe took the opportunity to jump in “Becs that’s… that wasn’t your fault, I’m the one who should apologise for being an idiot and saying stupid things” “Chloe… you and me, that’s my whole world. That’s what I should have told you instead of snapping at you okay? I should have told you that I count the days and the miles that separate me from you and even if this life is crazy and exciting, I don’t want it if I can’t share it with you" “Beca…”  “and I am so proud of you for graduating at vet school baby, don’t ever think I’m not, okay?” she added with a soft voice “Beca I love you so, so much. I don’t… I don’t know what to say y-your speech was…” sobbed the redhead “you don’t have to say anything I just needed to make sure you knew exactly how I feel" “I do. I know how you feel because it’s exactly how I feel Beca, I-I love you more than anything in the world and I just want to make you happy” Chloe wasn’t crying anymore but she still struggled to keep her words even “you do, more than anything” answered Beca with a smile.

They talked for hours until Beca had to leave to get the last things ready before the sound check “have fun baby, I love you" “oh I will, Amy is coming to see me, she asked me three VIP passes and I’m not sure what to expect from her… oh by the way she said she’s streaming the whole thing live on her Instagram… so you can try to watch some of it maybe? Though I know it’s a crazy time for you so if you’d rather sleep is okay, don’t worry" “I wouldn’t miss it for the world” said Chloe before hanging up.

“Hi guys, thank you all for coming! Uhm… I know most of you have the setlist for this and I promise you, I’ll sing all those songs, but tonight I wanted to open with a song for my girlfriend” at that the fans went crazy, some of them screamed so hard that Beca feared for their vocal chords. When the crowd calmed down a rearranged version of ‘The Only Exception’ by Paramore (that Beca had mixed in half an hour before the concert) started playing.  

After the concert Beca found a lot of texts from her friends who had apparently been watching Amy’s live:

BECA THAT WAS ACA-AWESOME OMG SO ROMANTIC!!! 💕💕💕😻 (Legacy)

I love you. You’re worth the risk too baby ♡ call me when you can, I’ll be awake (♡C)

I am proud of you Mitchell! And for the first time, I’m glad I was wrong ;) (Posen)

OMG Beca did you just came out to the world like this!?!? You’re such a rockstar!  (Jesse)

YO GIRL, the concert was amazing, as usual 💥💥💥 (CR)

Someone is whippeddddd 😜😜😜😜 proud of you, babe 💋 (Stace)

Love wins!! 🌈🌈🌈🦄🦄🦄🌈🌈🌈 (Jessica?Ashley??)

Wow Beca, amazing concert! Didn’t expect that first part 😍 (Flo)

Love wins!! 🌈🌈🌈🦄🦄🦄🌈🌈🌈 (Ashley?Jessica??)

Hey I saw the live, it was great!! (Benji)

👏🏼👏🏼 💪 (Lilly)

She only quickly replied to Jesse and Stacey before calling Chloe immediately

Wow dude, I was actually gonna call you tomorrow about that… I mean, I didn’t want to erase our story or anything… that song was a bit extreme… (-> Jesse)

Shut up bitch! (-> Stace)

“Hey baby, you should be sleeping” “how am I supposed to sleep after that!?” asked Chloe, her voice was bubbly and Beca could hear how wide her smile was, it made her smile too. To make Chloe happy was what she was in this World for, she was sure about it “that was the most romantic thing anyone ever did for me! I don’t know what I did to deserve you, honestly” “must have been something bad…” joked the pop star “so you’re not mad, right?” she checked even though the answer was pretty obvious “mad? Beca, the only mad I am is mad for you" “cheesy” laughed Beca “said the girl who just dedicated a love song to me during her own concert” scoffed Chloe “look babe, I gotta go, Amy decided we have to go get drunk to celebrate… in the end the one pass was for her date, he’s not that weird this time by the way, and the third one was for a dude she paid to hold her phone the whole time so she could enjoy the concert, can you believe that?” asked Beca laughing again “…I mean yeah, that’s totes something she would do" replied Chloe giggling “go have fun baby, I love you" “love you too, goodnight”

All cool. I know what we had and I know she’s something else, she always has been. I’m happy for you (Jesse)

🤐 (Stace)

Thank you Jesse (-> Jesse)

-

After that night to her concerts started to appear pride flags and Beca had to admit it felt nice, but what really got to her was one girl in Spain that stopped her on the ‘Ramblas’ while she was visiting Barcelona “hi you’re Beca Mitchell, right? I don’t wanna bother you I just wanted to thank you for what you did in Manchester. I am a lesbian and to know that my favourite female singer has a girlfriend makes me so happy, you have no idea how much this means to me. You have given me the courage to come out to my best friend and to my brother” Her eyes were watery as she spoke and Beca just looked at her speechless “representation matters, and I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart” she concluded and Beca, for the first time in her life, felt the need to hug someone who wasn’t Chloe, maybe it was because the girl must have been thirteen years old or maybe because she was so considerated to respect her space and not asking for a hug or a photo, but she decided that it was almost certainly because of what she said, because she’d never thought about being a role model or someone that made others feel like they belong, that there is nothing wrong with them “uhm, you want a hug?” she asked screwing up her face cause she knew how awkward she sounded “oh ohmygod really?” answered the girl over the moon “c’m here" she said hugging her.

-

Beca couldn’t wait to be back home, before leaving she had given Chloe the keys of her apartment and she knew she would have founded her there waiting for her. What Beca didn’t know was that Chloe had organized a little ‘welcome back’ party with all the Bellas, only Amy, Flo and Stacey could make it but it was still something.

The pop star didn’t see that coming and she had to admit it was a nice surprise to have a small reunion with some of her best friends after being far from home for so long, but despite their presence in her apartment and the scare they gave her screaming “surprise” when she opened the door, the first thing she did was to go hug Chloe, who met her halfway. The two girls hugged for a long time whispering how much they missed each other and how happy they were to be in the same room again. After a while Beca pulled back to look at her girlfriend, still holding her waist while Chloe had her arms wrapped around the brunette’s neck. They were looking at each other with so much love and happiness in their eyes that the room was frozen, their friends were standing there looking at them with proud expressions, and then  there was Amy who was taking pictures of them, the two girls didn’t notice any of it, they were too busy staring at each other’s lips licking or biting their owns, until Chloe made the smallest move towards Beca, knowing that the girl didn’t like pda she was being very careful to any sign that the brunette made to understand if she was okay with kissing in front of their friends, even if she really wanted to. While Chloe was worrying about that Beca crashed their lips together and the two girls shared a passionate kiss that ended only because  the ‘woop’s and wolf whistles coming from Amy and Stacey were starting to piss Beca off.

Only when she was satisfied with how she greeted Chloe, Beca went to say hi to her other ‘guests’. They spent the evening drinking and chatting, but even if they were socializing with their friends Beca and Chloe were never far for too long, they would lean over the other to pour a drink or brushed their hands on the other’s back passing her while moving around the living room or less subtlety going to sit on each other laps every time one of them was chatting on the couch. At dinner time they decided to order Chinese food and eat it sitting in circle on the living room floor like they used to do in Barden (even if Beca’s dining table was more than big enough for all of them). This time Chloe was sitting between Beca’s opened legs and the brunette was leaning towards not to be cut out of the conversation. It wasn’t the best position to eat, but the two girls needed to be as close as possible. After she finished eating Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe and leaned her forehead on the taller girl’s shoulder yawning “girls, I think this is our clue” stated Flo starting to collect the food boxes off the pavement “oh no leave it, I can take care of that" said Chloe starting to move “nonsense” stopped her Stacey helping Flo “I’m not throwing you out guys, I’m just-“ another yawn cut her off “just very tired” she added rubbing her eyes “don’t worry shawshank” said Amy suspiciously gently “we know you can’t wait to have us out of the way” she added with a wink and a way exaggerated bite of her lip that made Chloe laugh “I think I’m gonna take her to bed tonight, but there will be no funny business involved this time" she said still laughing and Beca just hummed, too tired to form words.

As soon as the girls left, Beca and Chloe were laying in bed curled up together. “I’m sorry there’s no funny business… I really want it to be but I am literally dying” apologised Beca snuggling closer to the warm body beside her “hey, it’s totes fine. I’m happy to just be able to hold you right now, I don’t need anything more than this" assured her Chloe before kissing her forehead.

The next morning Beca woke up much earlier than Chloe, due to the jetlag and decided to wake her beautiful girlfriend up by going down on her. Chloe appreciated it so much that they stayed in bed until noon having the best sex Beca ever had. They were about to get up when both of their phones buzzed, it was the group chat. Amy had sent a bunch of photos of them hugging and kissing writing ‘BOOM’ under the last one

Oh come on Amyyyy! Now I have to worry about paparazzi even in my home? WTF ( -> Bellas💕)

Beca was nervous. They had just finished lunch and she decided it was a good time to ask Chloe to move in with her. She tried to dry her sweaty palms on her jeans before hugging her from behind while she was washing the dishes “stop this" she told her placing a soft kiss under her left ear “I’m gonna finish it later, you don’t have to do it all" she added letting the tip of her nose brush on the shell of that same ear “okay" shivered Chloe drying her hands before turning to hug her and kiss her slowly “so, I was thinking…” started Beca biting her lip nervously “I know this might sound crazy but… why don’t you move in with me? You’ve been basically living here already and I know you love this place! Maybe this is soon but… we didn’t really follow the rules since the beginning so… why start now?” “yes" “I mean we’ve lived together already and it only made me fall harder for you if anything, I know all your habits and I learned to live with them and you did the same with mine and-“ “Beca. I said yes” repeated Chloe with a wide smile “yes?” echoed Beca excited “yes” whispered again the redhead.

They were lying on the couch and Beca was staring at one of the pics Amy sent them, the one that captured the moment right before their kiss, it was the quintessence of happiness “can I post this on my Instagram?” she asked turning the screen to let Chloe see it “I would love that" answered the redhead with a wide smile “is this about what that girl told you in Spain?” “Mhm” nodded the brunette “and this would make those stupid paparazzi stories stop” she added and then stopped to think “but it would put YOU on their radar… are you sure? Do you really want to live in this fucking fishbowl with me?” “baby, I want to live with you I don’t care about the paparazzi” she assured her and Beca kissed her before posting the photo with the caption ‘finally back into her arms 😍’.

[agentkgent]

Fic: If You Want It Back

Chapter One: You’d Probably Think (Tumblr | AO3)

Chapter Two: If You Knew | Read on AO3

(This is a short chapter, mostly establishing that our boys are on opposite sides of the country as adults; They do not remember each other and they are not happy; this isn’t necessarily a HAPPY chapter, but it’s setting up for some cavity-inducing sweet fluff heading your way!)

- - -

Eddie | 39

“Eddie, there just won’t be enough room for all of this!” Myra insists, gesturing to the boxes of clothes.

Eddie gives a half-hearted chuckle and runs a hand through his hair. “Sweetheart, I need space for my stuff, too.”

Myra quirks her eyebrow at him and continues to argue. “This is my closet. That was the deal.”

“Honey, it’s attached to our bedroom.”

Myra turns icy at his response. “It is my closet. We’re in this tiny apartment that you wanted, that you said was so important, and I said I need my own walk-in closet. That was the deal.”

“Myra, this apartment is hardly tiny. And I have to be able to put my clothes away.”

“There’s a dresser over there,” she points.

He looks for a moment. “How can I fit all my things in three drawers?”

Myra shrugs carelessly. “And I didn’t get my craft room. Figure it out, Eddie.”

He sighs in defeat. “Yes, dear, I know.”

Eddie and Myra Kaspbrak are finally moving into their first home in New York - an apartment just south of Midtown Manhattan. It’d been a long time coming, a lot of long, frustrating conversations on home amenities and proximity to the airport. He had to do a lot of traveling, after all.

Eddie knows this isn’t what Myra wanted. What she wanted was a two-story, four-bedroom, two-bath modern home and a fucking jacuzzi in the backyard. If he had a nickel for every time he had to say, “I just don’t make enough money, sweetheart,” or “That’s too far a drive from JFK,” and “We may need to move, I can’t get locked into a mortgage just yet.” He mine as well have been negotiating with his mother. (God rest her soul.) Myra only understood that Eddie made “good money” with the insurance company. To her, that meant they made “plenty of money” to afford whatever she wanted.

He pulls off his jacket, and pulls up his long sleeves to get to work on his boxes of clothes.

“Eddie-bear, you know you don’t need all those clothes. Just get rid of some things,” Myra says from inside her closet. He refuses to turn around and watch her carefully placing her designer handbags and shoes. “Just keep work clothes out and leave the rest in storage.”

“Sure and I’ll just sleep in my work clothes, too.” He says quietly to himself. He carefully cuts open the first box and looks over the stack of nicely folded shirts in air-tight bags, organized by color. He pushes the box to the side and moves onto the next box, that reads “Eddie: Miscellaneous” on the side in marker. This one might actually contain stuff he can get rid of to appease his wife.

His wife.

Eddie loves Myra. Of course he loves his wife. Eddie is a good man with a good job and goals and loves his wife very much. Myra was the perfect woman for him, exactly his type. He enjoys kissing her. He enjoys sleeping with her. She takes care of him. She loves him. Not a lot of people love Eddie, but Myra does. She’s his better half. She keeps him in check. Keeps him focused on what’s important. ...Which, would be her, he guesses?

The key to a healthy, successful marriage is repeating these things over and over again until they’re real, right?

He hears his lovely, selfless, caring wife strut out of the room towards their new living room.

He cuts open the “miscellaneous” box, full of clothes that are not in air-tight baggies nor are they organized by color. He can already smell age on them, possibly dust and mildew from sitting in his mother’s storage. He pulls a few items out, looking at them and then back inside the box. There’s not too many things in here, but it’s obvious they are not from his adulthood. He then examines the few clothing items he’s pulled out - an old fannypack (From when he was a kid, always carrying his meds around. That can go;) an old pair of pajamas (Myra will yell at him for wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajamas like a teenager. These can go;) a couple old polo shirts (From college, probably. And probably too small by now. They can go;), a zip-up hoodie…

The hoodie looks like it might fit. (But he never wears ash-gray, it’s too cheap-looking for his tastes.) It is a jacket hoodie, might be nice for layering in cold New York winters. He looks over its condition. It’s very worn, almost like it’s supposed to look vintage. One of the wrist cuffs is ripped open at the seam, like someone’s been shoving their fingers through it, something only an annoying kid would do. There’s also a rusty brown stain on the opposite cuff, which is undoubtedly blood. Ew. He looks at the zipper of the jacket, which is missing a metal tab, and extra difficult to zip. Okay, well that’s great. There is no size or manufacturer tag, it’s apparently been ripped out. The strings coming out of the hoodie near the neck are discolored and dingy, and ...are those bite marks at the plastic ends? Disgusting.

There are dark, hard spots around the edges of the pockets on the front. He rubs his thumb across them gently, and knows. They’re cigarette burns. Wow. Well, this definitely wasn’t his, he’s never smoked a day in his life. He would really like to not die of cancer, thank you very much.

His thoughts are abruptly cut short when Eddie subconsciously catches a whiff of the jacket. Undoubtedly, he smells cigarette smoke. Maybe even marijuana, which he’s never touched. But there’s more than that. He pulls the jacket closer to his face, closes his eyes, and smells.

Body spray. Not the nice cologne Eddie wears, but some kind of cheap, douchey-smelling body spray meant to impress girls. Wood. Burning wood, like a bonfire. And… sweat. Someone else’s sweat. Which really should be gross, and it sort of is first, but he keeps breathing it in. It’s an unidentifiable, masculine smell from someone this hoodie belonged to.

There’s something warm in his chest. His heart is pounding as he inhales the jacket’s bouquet over and over again.

“It’s one of my faves.” He can hear a voice say quietly, from somewhere dark in his brain.

His hands are shaking as he sets it down and wipes his hand across his mouth and nose, fidgeting. His mind is racing to identify where this jacket came from, but he can’t complete his mental search. There’s like, nothingness where he expects to find answers. He can feel sweat forming on his forehead and his throat getting tighter. What is happening? Is this an asthma attack? He hasn’t had an attack in years. He puts his hand on his chest and forces himself to breath at a steadier pace, in and out, in and out.

“Eddie-bear, you ok?” He’s startled for a moment. How long was Myra standing there?

He clears his throat. “Yes, dear, I’m okay.” Gotta make up something to throw her off, he doesn’t want her thinking he has ever smoked. She’d never let him live it down. “Just trying to figure out if this is clean or not.”

Myra rips the hoodie from his hand, Eddie grasps at it pathetically. “Why? What does it smell like?” She holds the hood of it up to her nose, then scrunches her face at it. “It doesn’t smell like anything. Just smells dirty.” She tosses it back to him. “Also, it’s torn up. Why do you still have it?” She steps across the wood floors back towards her precious closet. “Just throw it out.”

He knows already this isn’t even his jacket. He just… doesn’t understand why he has it. What he does know is getting rid of it is not an option. He needs this. He’s… supposed to return it, he thinks.

He decides that there is room for it. So he folds it tightly and sticks it in the back of his bottom dresser drawer, where he hopes Myra won’t ever notice it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Richie | 39

Richie wants to fall asleep. Everything will be easier if he just falls asleep. Everything will be over sooner if he just falls asleep.

He looks at his smart watch. It’s 2:40 a.m.

He’s lying on his bed in his LA home, naked except for his boxers, next to a stranger he has just had sex with. The sex was fine, pretty standard. She wasn’t interested in foreplay, which he doesn’t mind because he’s not good at pretending to enjoy it. He’s not really interested in her. She’s not interested in him either, he thinks. She’s probably just interested in writing about it on one of those bullshit ‘celebrity sex review’ blogs. A part of him kind of hopes, actually.

He’s sure of one thing: he wants her out of his home so he can continue to be miserable in peace.

The bed is shifting and he can feel a hand on his chest.

“You okay?” The stranger asks in an innocent voice that fools no one. She’s pretty enough. Rich, dark hair and brown eyes. Tanned skin and a nice body. He doesn’t remember her name or if they even actually talked at the bar. She knew who he was, and that was enough.

“Fuckin great.” He fakes a smile at her. She starts to snuggle against him, which is not the response he wanted. “Hey, listen, this was awesome, but I’m flying out early tomorrow.” He had really hoped to just doze off and deal with this in the morning. But his favorite lie usually worked to get these types of strangers out of his home, out of his life.

“Oh. Where are you going?” She rests her chin on his chest.

“...Chicago.”

“I love Chicago!” She giggles.

Another fake smile, but more difficult to pull of. “Yep.” And he gently moves from under her, leaning away.

“You should totally go to the giant silver bean and take selfies by it-”

“Listen, I gotta get up super early, so I’m gonna call you an Uber.” He lifts himself from the bed and walks across the bedroom to pull on a t-shirt.

“Oh? Okay.” She responds too happily. It’s irritating that she isn’t taking a hint. She gets up and begins pulling on her shorts and heels.

Richie heads to his nightstand, where he picks up his phone and requests an Uber to his Hollywood home. “‘Jerry’ will be here in six minutes in his ‘2015 Toyota Camry.’ He’ll take you wherever you want.” He’s not very good at hiding the fact that he doesn’t really care if she gets home, just as long as she goes.

He hears her ridiculously tall Stilettos click behind him and feels hands on his shoulders. “My number’s in your phone. Call me when you get back?”

Goddamn it, just go already. “Sure.”

Her arms drop to her sides and she makes an annoyed noise. She just got the hint.

His sexual guest struts across the living room towards the entryway, holding her bag and jacket. Richie can’t help but examine her ass as she walks, even though there’s no longer any mystery to what lies beneath her shorts. He scans the room for anything missing (he’s been robbed by a hot woman once or twice) and sees a bright pink bra and lacy top still lying on the couch. He  sees that she is wearing his shirt, on her way out.

Nuh-uh, no, NOPE, they are not playing this game. “Uh, sweetheart.” He whistles. She stops and turns to him, and he responds by eyeing her up-and-down. “Can I have my shirt back?”

She tests him with a coy smile. “Well, maybe I’ll bring it back to you?”

“No, no no no no no no, you can wear your own clothes home. That’s my favorite shirt.” He extends an arm and is flexing his fingers in a ‘gimme’ motion.

She’s taken aback, but comes back towards him to take off the shirt. Slowly. Presenting her tits.

They’re not that impressive. And she’s being annoying, so he’s done pretending to be charming.

He smirks, snatches the shirt from her hand, and then walks back towards his bedroom.

He can hear her shuffle to pick up her remaining clothes, her heels clicking across the floor. She scoffs. “So, that’s it?”

He doesn’t face her, he just raises a waving hand to gesture ‘goodbye.’ “That’s it!”

“Wow. Fuck you.” She spouts.

Richie tosses his shirt on his kitchen counter. Bless his open floor plan. “Yeah, thanks for that.”

She mockingly laughs and opens the front door. “You’re an asshole. And you’re not funny.”

“Okie dokes!” He says casually at her.

The Uber driver pulls up behind her in the driveway. “ASSHOLE!” She shrieks, and slams the door shut.

He slumps onto his stupidly-expensive couch and exhales in relief. “Yep. I sure am.”

He doesn’t know why he allows himself to get used by every horny fan he meets. (And “fan” is a generous term. None of them even give a shit about his comedy, they just know who he is and that he’s got a couple specials on Netflix.)

He should be grateful. He’s got everything he could ever want and need. He’s got a huge house, plenty of money, 156K followers on Instagram, more comedy special gigs on the way, may even go on tour with some big names. He’s got a shot at Saturday Night Live, his manager tells him. Not that Richie wants to move to New York. He doesn’t know anyone in New York.

Not that he knows anyone in LA, either. Just horny fans he meets in sleazy bars.

He should be grateful, and he knows that. But he’s just miserable. And alone.

He rubs his eyes under his glasses and lets them fall back onto his nose before he stands up to march himself to sleep. He grabs his shirt on the way back to his empty bedroom.

“Bitch thought she could take my favorite shirt.” And he flicks off the lightswitch.

[scrumptiousdonutangel]

All :P

The meaning behind my url:

there isn’t really one

2. A picture of me:

I’ve posted enough selfies, y’all are tired of my face by now

3. How many tattoos i have and what they are:

zero

4. Last time i cried and why:

I cried yesterday just thinking about some really cute cats??????

5. Piercings i have:

just one in my ears

6. Favorite band:

Sleeping at last

7.Biggest turn offs:

someone who is rude, people who don’t know how to take a joke

8.Top 5 (books):

Throne of glass, Odyssey,  percy jackson, lockwood and co, and literally any book on psychology

9.Tattoos i want:

I really want to get a smaller version of my grandpas arm tatoo 

10.Biggest turn ons:

when someone is super dominant and/or knows what tf they want, when someone has their shit together, when someone isnt afraid to be feminine, when someone is super open about liking you a ton

11.Age:

bout to turn 18 boiiiiiii

12.Ideas of a perfect date:

honestly just chilling at home is perfect for me

13.Life goal:

make as many people as happy as possible

14.Piercings i want:

I want to get a few more in my ears next

15.Relationship status:

Single but currently talking to someone serious

16.Favorite movie:

tangled

17.A fact about my life:

it has been cat filled therefore good

18.Phobia:

heiGHTS

19. Middle name:

L (das all you gettin)

20.Height:

5′2 but ready to fight you at all times

21.Are you a virgin?

depends on your meaning of the word

22.What’s your shoe size?

like a 7 i think

23.What’s your sexual orientation?

bi/pan

24.Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

drink, but thats about it

25.Someone you miss:

My boyfriend, I haven’t seen him in like four days

26,What’s one thing you regret?

Not buying more candy as a kid

27.First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive:

TOM HOLLAND

28.Favorite ice cream?

I’m allergic to dairy ;;-;;

29.One insecurity:

My bigass thighs

30.What my last text message says:

“GET IT GIRL”

31.Have you ever taken a picture naked?

no?

32.Have you ever painted your room?

nope

33.Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

no ;;-;;

34.Have you ever slept naked?

yea and i hated it

35.Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

yeaahhh…..

36.Have you ever had a crush?

boy have i

37.Have you ever been dumped?

not really??

38.Have you ever stole money from a friend?

hell nah

39.Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

friends of friends I guess

40.Have you ever been in a fist fight?

not anything serious

41.Have you ever snuck out of your house?

mmm kinda

42.Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

hahahahahahhahahahahahayesahahahahha

43.Have you ever been arrested?

nope

44.Have you ever made out with a stranger?

nahh

45.Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

yes? I do have friends you know

46.Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

yeah, but half the time i dont think they notice

47.Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

the guy im currently seeing is actually my neighbor

48.Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

I’m homeschooled, there is no escape please send help

49.Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?

thats like every sleepover ever

50.Have you ever seen someone die?

no

51.Have you ever been on a plane?

yeps

52.Have you ever kissed a picture?

do posters count cause i think i kissed one as a joke when i was little

53.Have you ever slept in until 3?

hELL YEAH

54.Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?

missing someone hardcore rn

55.Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

most relaxing thing in the world

56.Have you ever made a snow angel?

every winter dude

57.Have you ever played dress up?

yeee

58.Have you ever cheated while playing a game?

monopoly, constantly.

59.Have you ever been lonely?

my life in one word man

60.Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?

not yet

61.Have you ever been to a club?

nope but i wanna check one out sometime

62.Have you ever felt an earthquake?

not that i know of

63.Have you ever touched a snake?

yeps

64.Have you ever ran a red light?

…maybe…

65.Have you ever been suspended from school?

again, NO ESCAPE

66.Have you ever had detention?

*cries in homeschool*

67.Have you ever been in a car accident?

yeah

68.Have you ever hated the way you look?

constantly

69.Have you ever witnessed a crime?

probably

70.Have you ever pole danced?

no but id like to learn how just for fun

71.Have you ever been lost?

i have horrible sense of direction, so a big yes

72.Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

no, but id love to

73.Have you ever felt like dying?

very much so

74.Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

big oof, yeah

75.Have you ever sang karaoke?

fuck yeah

76.Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?

all the time, I’m really spontaneous about rule breaking too 

77.Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?

mhm

78.Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?

NOPE, at my age thats like a jail order 

79.Have you ever kissed in the rain?

no but it sounds super romantic

80.Have you ever sang in the shower?

absolutely

81.Have you ever made out in a park?

nah

82.Have you ever dream that you married someone?

you betcha

83.Have you ever glued your hand to something?

I once dropped hot glue on my hand if that counts?

84.Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?

nope

85.Have you ever gone to school partially naked?

i mean technically i guess????

86.Have you ever been a cheerleader?

no

87.Have you ever sat on a roof top?

yeps

88.Have you ever brushed your teeth?

I SHOULD HOPE SO

89.Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?

yeah… dont judge me

90.Have you ever played chicken?

nope

91.Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

no, i would murder someone

92.Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

yeah

93.Have you ever broken a bone?

nope

94.Have you ever been easily amused?

im a giggly shit so yeah

95.Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

all the time

96.Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

nope

97.Have you ever cheated on a test?

a spelling test when i was little

98.Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

more like when havent i

99.Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

yes

100.Give us one thing about you that no one knows.

sometimes I’ll just lay in my room with music playing and not think for a bit