#326 episodes and 15 years is a lot of time to get to know people lol

[zmediaoutlet]

Happy WW! 💜

Do you have a pet headcanon that is consistent in your interpretations of wincest, that isn't necessarily explored in canon?

hello, and a happy wincest wednesday to you and yours <3

This is a ponderer! Especially because I try to lift from canon as much as I can, lol. Like I was gonna say our running joke about Dean reading mommy blogs, except -- whoops, that's canon, he does read mommy blogs.

Maybe I'll say, since I literally have sat here for fifteen minutes thinking and can't come up with a better answer -- the way that Dean really, really resents his parents, and yet of course also loves them, and feels a massive sense of obligation to them and to what he imagines they would expect of him and at the same time has this nagging sense of 'fuck you two, you did this to us.' Which I know does come up in the show, but it was kind of depending on the writer and moment -- whether Dean's insisting his dad was the best dad to ever dad, or whether he was telling Mary that he hates and loves her and then it ends in that doofy hug scene. Eeesh. I really hate that scene, haha.

But! The reason I bring it up is that this multifaceted indefinable mass of Feelings about the parents necessarily hovers over how the wincest starts and goes on, and that tangle of FAMILY can't be extracted from how Sam and Dean lay in a bed beside each other. That resentment-but-devotion is such an integral part of how Dean thinks about himself, too -- that he's failing to live up to an ideal, and at the same time is better than the generation that came before, and yet he can't think about it that way because without the pedestal of expectations how can he even define who he is, and yet how dare they expect this much -- and so on, and so on. And then what does that mean when he reaches across a few inches of mattress and touches Sam's big sleeping body and Sam grunts and it makes Dean's whole body relax, even as he's rolling his eyes? How does that integrate with who Dean Winchester, Son of John and Mary, is meant to be?

That stuff. I guess I think about that.