#31: RICE 🍚😫😫 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

waitingformyfavoritesongs · 2 years ago

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6:55 am pdt 4 January 2023 Wednesday

minutes ago it felt that incubus stabbed probably intestines and I felt tension or pressure that hurt 😖😖😖😖😵😵😵😵 at least 4+ spots. Incubus is probably trying to give me leaky gut. Are different rice 🍚 and still giving diarrhea. 😵😵😵😵🥺

I believe he had a secret relationship with Sierra LaMar, and kidnapped her. and he’s trying to kill me bcz I’m similar to her: she was 5’2”; I was 5’1.5” before 2017. We both are half Asian and half white. We both have dark hair and brown eyes 👀? We both grew up with a sister. Dads are white. Moms are Asian. I talked to someone online who offered to buy plane ✈️ tickets 🎫 to meet him because he liked me so much is what he said.

Sierra LaMar was active on the internet/Twitter. I found something online, I hope 🤞 I was not being gas ⛽️ lit 🔥. There was a rumor she had a secret? Boyfriend. I think they got the wrong guy. 7:06 am pdt Sierra and I are both born on Saturdays too I think 💭? We are also complementary astrological zodiac signs 🪧 ♎️ Libra. She’s born year of the rat 🐀 and I’m year of the ox 🐂. Sie air ah. Sea 🌊 air 🌬 7:10 am pdt she was a cheerleader 📣? And then she stopped 🛑 ✋??? When she went missing she was wearing a sweatshirt (sharks hockey 🏒). I had hypotheses but I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if I researched enough to see if it could be true. If Sierra had a secret boyfriend, did her grades drop too much bcz of him and had to drop out of cheerleading? We see stuff about was it ecstasy? Alcohol 🍷 drinking? Where did she get those and how? Was she getting allowance enough to buy? Even though she’s no longer in cheer , was it bcz of bad grades ? Would her parents still give her allowance if she had bad grades?? Did the secret boyfriend give it to her? Was he a drug dealer? An addict? If he was the one, how did he afford the drugs? It’s a rock and roll 🎸 kinda lifestyle to do drugs, no? 7:18 am pdt

is it possible the secret boyfriend got her pregnant 🤰 and she was hiding it? Did she put her trust in the wrong people? Were they rich drug dealers who had friends in Saratoga California? Did the cops hastily assume it was a hoax and that she was dead ☠️ without finding her body? Is it not a huge disservice to those that are missing to be assumed dead ☠️?

looking back at crimes such as Jaycee? Dugard? And Elizabeth smart, we know that there was a lot that wasn’t done before. I read they interviewed past s*x offenders, but was that a waste of time? Aren’t they more likely to be watched? Therefore less likely to do something again? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ I would think so. Why is it that people who live in a rich 🤑 area with probably high income would be overlooked? When they probably have the most free time and resources to be organized high crime? 7:28 am pdt I guess we should look at uvaldi ? Shooting as a clue. Maybe some cops 👮‍♀️ are scared shitless 💩. 7:29 am pdt or maybe they’re involved with prostitution and they assumed prostitution is ok. 👌 PAIN 👂 ear 7:30 🕢 am pdt

7:31 am pdt if incubus is their god, then I guess so! 7:31 am pdt

7:31 am pdt I once saw online antolin’s birth year is goat 🐐. Trying to remember if I saw 👀 his month and day. 5 years difference between Sierra and Antolin. Same difference btwn me and the guy I first assumed was the one I was talking to when I found a social media profile years later with the same email address that was used to talk to me. 7:34 am pdt a lot of sirens 🚨 passed and incubus is still roasting me in the rib cage area/making me 😷 cough. I read recently Antolin was a father and lived with the mother of his children? 👶 at the time. 7:37 am pdt do you think 🤔 he could have done it? 7:37 am pdt

10:42 am pdt I fell asleep 😴 and woke up to my right hand 🤚 being roasted alive!!!! 🧐😞😖🥵😤😫😭🥺😱😰 why are they doing this to me?!?!?!?!?! They are always actors trying to pretend they are decent when they are not! DONT be fooled by they’re innocent 😇 looks and talk every thing he said about being hot 🥵 was directed towards me and immediately before all the news came out about cheating on behati prinsloo he was trying to convince me that I am the mother who’s children and his real wife!!!!! So within the last 24 hours when I found a reel on Instagram it read the note 📝 and the way it sounded suddenly felt it was directed at me when they read the I should not have spoken to anyone else but my wife...!!!! I guess sumner and Maryka are his wives already and I’m not even though he tried to put in my head that we have 3 kids already together. 10:52 am pdt. I never said to his Sagittarius ♐️ friend that I liked him. He moved too quickly into kissing 😽 me for that to happen and once it happened I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ I seem have difficulty falling in love. I fell in love with guys I never kissed 💋!!!! But once the relationship moves too quickly into the physical I tend NOT to fall in love. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if it’s a curse, or coincidence (HOT left side lung 🫁 cough 😷), I seem to fall into a weird mental and weird emotional situation/phase that it makes it even more difficult for me to be myself when I already have a curse on me/my feelings/ automatic negative thoughts 💭. He’s REALLY trying to kill me. He made my body look 👀 absurd and unrealistically HOT 🥵 scar tissue that I wish you saw 👀 (not saw 🪚!!!!) 🎶🎼🎵 red hot chili 🌶 peppers 🌶 11:02 am pdt 😭😱😭😱😭😱😭😱😭

when I was seeing Sagittarius ♐️ Friend of incubus I remember him asking, probably before he forced me to have sex with him, he asked if I liked him, in the middle/in between making out with him, I remembered looking 👀 away and feeling shame and guilt that I was not able to feel more than physical attraction him at that point. I remember not replying!!!! And the silence should have been the answer within itself. And I think I remember we might have continued making out again. I recently thought 💭 I remembered being the car 🚗 with him sometime maybe 🤔 was it days after, laying in the back seat 💺, probably before he forced me to have sex with him (please refer to prior posts for more details) in his bedroom 🛌 , he was on top of me and he pulls his dick 🍆 out of I think 🤔 was it sweat 💦 pants 👖? And I asked him something like this : are you ready for little feet 🦶 of scotties (he goes by middle name Scott, like it’s his first name) to be running 🏃‍♂️ around? Translation: are you ready for Scott junior or babies 👶 - for me to be pregnant 🤰? He had a weird eyes 👀 staring off as if he was a deer 🦌 in headlights kind of look 👀 in his eyes. No answer verbally so I pulled his pants 👖 up probably gently too over his dick 🍆. And I think 🤔 it happened before? He forced me to have sex with him ? (I f I say no the first time - don’t FORCE me to change my answer 😡🤬) it’s as if he decided to have amnesia. 11:17 am pdt

I never said to any man I had sex with that I was pregnant 🤰. I heard some cultures you know what happens if you are caught in bed 🛌 together doing it the parents will force the man 👨 at gun point to marry the daughter. I’m glad I’m not married NOW. 😡🤬 that actually happened to my mom’s ex-boyfriend. And before she found out, the promise ring 💍 he gave her fell off her hand 🤚 and into a river. 11:21 am pdt it was a sign 🪧 from god that he cannot keep his promises. That man 👨 was rich and he was 25 years old when she was 16 years old. My mom said she wanted/needed finish her education FIRST Before getting married (marriage = pregnancies 🤰 ). I see a lot of weird accounts on Instagram come up 🆙 saying Adam Noah Levine is their baby daddy 😱🤯😱😭😖🥵😤 it’s so weird to me that it’s very likely TRUE that he is a father to multiple women’s babies 👶 and he probably doesn’t really care about any of them. I was going to type something then I suddenly forgot. Herschel walker? Was it ? His son, Christian walker? On Twitter I found him complaining that his father is the father to other children after him and that he’s not a good father and he pretends to be. Makes me think Adam Noah Levine thinks he’s special and exempt from being monogamous. My mom grew up 🆙 around the Catholic Church ⛪️ she said they gave free cookies 🍪. She said even if you are divorced god still only recognizes your first marryiage only. When 2 become 1 🎶🎼🎵 spice girls. 11:31 am pdt imagine how difficult it is to raise a child 👶 as a single parent needing someone to help watch the kid 🧒 who you can trust who you hope cares as much as you do as the mother, but you don’t Bcz he ran off to father another baby 👶 with a different woman 👩🏻? Can a man 👨 ever love ❤️ a child the same as a mother when she grows the baby 🍼 in her own belly? 🛎 if you watched Ellen with behati prinsloo as guest to save the rhinos 🦏 you might have seen and heard 👂 her say she can’t do 5, even if Adam wants it she has to carry it herself. It’s a big deal if a man wants to be “Don Juan”. But you know what? Don’t try to change them. Let them be. 11:38 am pdt it seems like a nice, fairy 🧚🏽‍♀️ tail/tale idea 💡 that there could be a lasting romantic friendship love 💕, but is it only a figment of our imagination 💭 that men are willing to participate in the SHORT RUN 🏃🏻‍♀️? Not the long, genuine, monogamous devoted marriage ideal? 🃏 joker clown 🤡 to contribute as an “actor” in a temporary fantasy? 11:42 am pdt 😔😞😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😖😭😖😭😖😭🥺😰

this is a frightening world we live in, where the “friendly” faces we see are all acts. Especially on a big stage. 11:44 am pdt

men are frightening. And this is their world. They own us and abuse us and make it harder for us intentionally, in all sorts of ways from conception and birth to pregnancy and old age. I accidentally put an emoji after age 😏 that one. I don’t have this on my face now and I don’t think I will ever naturally smirk like that about old age especially with what I have been going through. 11:47 am pdt 😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😤

11:48 am pdt hungry 😞 . if it’s a joke to sumner and Maryka and Alyson that I’m burning 🥵 to death ☠️ which I’m starting to think 🤔 and feel now after a lot of reviewing, I feel very disturbed and disappointed at the world 🌎 we live in and who we call gods. I do feel guilt and shame every day of my life and it helped kept me celibate on some days which add up to a lot of days since I have been celibate for more than 10 years by choice I had believed. I really had to swear off dating permanently to enable this to be a reality. When someone is addicted because of demonic forces, like alcoholism I think some people really have to stay away from it physically? My mom dated someone who had a history of being an alcoholic and when the 3 of us moved in together she made me carry a wine 🍷 bottle to a neighbor and gave it to her for free. 11:55 am pdt sometimes people are more sympathetic to other people’s curses. Probably generational curses, too. 🧙‍♀️ 🧙 Merlin 🧙‍♂️ incubus offspring. Working for kings. Maybe kings of alcoholic beverages? Fueled capitalism. Their god = devil 👿? 11:58 am pdt

5:30 🕠 pm pdt 5:31 pm pdt 5:33 pm pdt I think I hear 👂 rain 🌧 tummy ache 😖 stomach pain incubus hurt 😞 me . I really believe he’s raping my cousin. 🤢 gross 🤮. Dispicable. He gave me signs 🪧 to mislead me. He made me hot and he made all year hot 🥵 here. And last year, too. These last 5 years he has been robbing me of strength. In 2019 I found online 60 year old woman 👵 body builder with awards/or trophy 🏆 for strength competitions. At beginning of year I was scared 😱 I think I remember and then they made me fall backwards on my back ribs against the coffee ☕️ table = it was strong 💪. Now it’s weak. They were conning me, tricked me into thinking they were strengthening it now with the thoughts 💭 they gave me rather than tell me word for word with their own voices what they were doing. That’s their psychology. They will use all sorts of ways to lie to you. Incubus once teeeted everything he says is “bullshit” probably x3 it’s gone now. Twitter.

5:44 pm pdt they heat me up 🆙 to rob me of strength and killl me. I think I heard 👂 them make me believe I heard on the radio 📻 I will die in the morning the lyrics are there will be joy in the morning. He made my middle finger 🖕 move, then he hurt my left hand knuckles. 5:47 pm pdt.

5:56 pm pdt I read a few times online, hopefully he wasn’t gas ⛽️ lighting me back then,( but everything he seems to do seems to be to gas ⛽️ light, but idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ mayb what I read is true) that mr. incubus was fine when his parents divorced. Pain jaw bone 🦴. I probably read it around 2014, and then I read stuff that he was thinking that he wasn’t going to get married . And then I heard? Him say once that he thought it was going to make him look 👀 like a creep if he didn’t get married? Or something like that? It was weird the tone the delivery 🚚 as if it was meant for me to hear 👂 for some weird reason. 6:03 breathing out extremely HOT 🥵 air 6:04 pm pdt.

knuckles = nuke????? 6:04 pm pdt

6:23 pm pdt there was something I did on accident but the incubus was trying to make me believe it was not. Probably bcz he made me do it. He can make your body do and say things like a puppet. And he can trick you into believing it was all you. He choreographed everything. He will give you feelings that feel genuine/real and give confusion with quick changing thoughts and feelings and with hold memory, so you are left feeling with what he wants you to remember. I remember pausing a lot and quick changing thoughts and emotions and immediate forgetfulness but somehow I did not completely forget but somehow made to forget in the moment. I don’t recall moving fast. I remember pausing in between thoughts 💭. I remember moving to stretch my legs 🦵 when I pedaled the tricycle. How did I fit on that thing? I don’t remember how tall it was, but these were big enough for a bunch of young men also to ride. I remember pausing in between pedals each moment. I nitially I did not recall moving quickly on that thing. I am sorry 😞 if I did. I was very gungho in thinking 🤔 that I didn’t move /pedal faster . I think 🤔 it was also probable that the boy who was probably 8 years old? On a tricycle ahead of might have also simultaneously started slowing down now that I think 🤔 about how it was probable that I caught up 🆙 to him! And somehow with out trying much , I thought I remembered but now my mind wants to believe I sped on a tricycle. Was it possible? Now I don’t know for sure. Incubus has been cutting my legs 🦵 a lot and may have shortened legs 🦵 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵

Pain! 😖right inner ankle bone 🦴. In 2009?? David clay diamond 💍 diamonds 💎 dash I hurt myself. I think it is karma for the tricycle incident. Also when I was about 12 years old I flew over my bicycle 🚴🏼 while trying learn to ride with out training wheels and almost landed 🛬 on my head but instead landed 🛬 on my shoulders. Also around that time we are hit by a woman?? driving a car 🚙 it was my mom’s first car 🚗 and it was white. My sister hears a voice that told her to switch to the middle seat 💺 in the back of the car before the accident happened, within minutes at a stop light 💡 . I believe it saved her life and she did not tell me until around 5-6 years ago. 2016/2017 ish? It was before we moved to alum rock 🪨, before 2019. 6:49 pm pdt when I hurt myself in 2009? I used my left heel to stop 🛑 the razor scooter 🛴 directly onto the ground which was paved black, I was going fast 💨 Down a relatively steep hill in a park in San Francisco. It did weird things to my heel that seemed to slosh and move like jelly years later, and it hurt a lot for a while immediately afterwards . I t felt like my hip and butt were not in proper alignment anymore. I did not go see a doctor 👩‍⚕️ for it. I was shy again? And it was troublesome already? With previous experiences of going for my chronic eczema and infections on the same university’s medical insurance. This was before I got a job. Because my motive for applying was to hopefully 🙏 win the ring diamond 💎 💍 so I can pay 💰 off bills 💸 from school 🏫. It was stupid though because I was completely unprepared and unmatched to the competition. There were questions you had to find/solve using physics I think I recalled one ☝️. It was irrational of me to sign up 🆙 but I did. Nausea. And vertigo. 7:01 pm pdt.

7:03 pm pdt I remember he cried when the tricycle I was pedaling made contact with him. It might have touched his left ? Hip. The fooot I used to stop 🛑 the razor scooter 🛴 was my left foot 🦶. I stood for a minute probably, thinking 💭 what should I do . I consider staying and in my mind the thought 💭 enters (vertigo stop 🛑 making this harder for me to type) coughing and peeing. Pain head. Difficultly breathing started still hot 🥵 left side ribs hot 🥵 air. 7:09 pm pdt that I should only stay if everyone else stays. I think I did not want to face it alone. There was a part of me that wanted to leave , I don’t remember if it was an immediateinitial feeling but I didn’t move for about a minute pondering 🤔 what am I going to do? I did not plan on doing anything like this at all. Then a guy who was on a tricycle, who I don’t think 🤔 did anything wrong at that place, screamed at me “RUN!” I still don’t know why he felt compelled to yell it at me at all . I don’t remember even talking to him much before that. It was all VERY STRANGE. But I comply and I ran. This was around early 2006, before April. There was something I was going to type but incubus is withholding my memory again. I remembered gung-ho thinking 🤔 I did not pedal that fast 💨 on a tricycle. And then my memory thereafter was me being very fast 💨 and I think that was not physically possible for it to have happened that way. He made me feel like I’m lying 🤥 and bad. Oh, a lot of times within last 5 years things would fall and hit me and it would hurt a lot! Like a pick comb falling on my leg 🦵 I realized this week that maybe 🤔 it should have not hurt that much the way it did and I realized they were choreographing inflicting more pain with the object falling and touching/hitting me. I cannot say for sure but if I did not go fast enough to really feel like a big impact on the boy’s hip that maybe the pain was not 100% because of me and the tricycle. I t might be wishful thinking 💭 that I didn’t hurt him but idk. I believe that the demon lord sometimes talks to some men directly if they have a covenant. I f they don’t have a covenant then he would use people’s brains 🧠 and body against their will like a puppet but use a lot of psychological tactics. I felt guilty and shame for hurting him, and even more for running 🏃🏻‍♀️ away. It wasn’t long before that I had tested for a learning disability. The test giver said my left brain 🧠 worked slower than my right brain 🧠 so the communication between the two halves are slow is what I recalled him saying. The disability test was through exams on abilities. Math 🧮, probably memory recall? Other stuff I have difficulty remembering. 7:31 pm pdt. 7:32 pm pdt felt my eye 👁 sight get fuzzy for few seconds. I don’t believe I m apart of a covenant. I think demon lord probably told me in 2018? While he inflicted a lot of unbearable PAIN on me, my bones and flesh. I felt like I was dying with every hit/cut. 7:34 pm pdt and I felt like I wanted to die. 7:35 pm pdt. If I was a billionaire I would repay that boy 👦🏾 For whatever damages I may have caused. When Adnan pushed me when I was about 9 years old after my birthday I think? And I landed on my wrist and it broke I don’t believe my mom asked what happened but she might have overheard something and met me more than halfway down the stairs and asked me if it hurt and it did. I don’t believe adnans family knew. Refugees from Europe forget which part Soviet Union or something. The devil made me say something I didn’t mean to say and I was surprised that I said it. He’s making me feel like a liar about that every time I recall it. He is trying to alter my memory and he’s almost successful, he made me doubt myself a lot. I asked my mom a minute ago if she knew and she didn’t. They never paid for breaking my wrist. The doctor put a cast on it. 7:53 pm pdt I think it was about a year ago when we went to a laundry 🧺 mat there was a thing on tv 📺 that there are people who survived being run 🏃🏻‍♀️ over by cars 🚗. Sometimes god prepares us for events he planned to happen. Demon lord. 755p

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