#3) (hopeful) it's such a batshit insane ship it may cause people to take shipping less seriously

[lonelyslutavatar]

There is exactly one entry in the Martin Blackwood/Mr Bonzo tag. This is unacceptably low.

[caepaecaesurae]

> Bad jokes, Bad Times, Bad understanding of computers, Good Talk

palteringcecutiency Would it satisfy your curiosity to know that a majority of said jokes are indeed morbid in nature, and more than likely not to your liking? caepaecaesurae I suppose it wvould. I'vwe a decent resistance to some morbid jokes, but a bit of a wveakness to others. palteringcecutiency I don't believe any would stray into your weaknesses, but there are not many who get the darker areas of my humor, nor laugh instead of fuss and worry. caepaecaesurae .. I accidentally startled the hell out of Nadaya recently wvhen he wvandered too deeply into one of my tags.

caepaecaesurae My terrible fashion tag contains this post, from before our revwivwal : http://caepaecaesurae.tumblr.com/post/55680186325/devotedharlequin-eeeee-3-3-my-ghb-and-his caepaecaesurae Also knowvn as the period in wvhich Arlequin and I wvere still insane ghosts. I wvent back and tagged it manually though. WVith the fashion forwvard bit at least. palteringcecutiency Lord, and I thought my time in the bubbles was questionable. Congratulations, you two win on most gruesome fashion accessorizing, and will be holding that for quite a number of sweeps, unless someone spares a corpse and a distraction for the fussers for a while. caepaecaesurae He thought it wvas vwery funny at the time. I, somewvhat less. Anywvays, savwing That in my fashion tag is my idea of a morbid joke. palteringcecutiency Quite understandable, I consider myself lucky that I have absolutely no clue what happened to my corpse, and have no desire to find out. ...a great deal of my morbid jokes are helming based, or rather death based I suppose I would call it. If you spend long enough waiting for death, it stops being such a serious subject, I suppose. palteringcecutiency At least it has for me. caepaecaesurae There wvas a time wvhen I tried helming jokes to get a rise out of people.  I'vwe stopped, since.  I think Sparks still hasn't forgivwen me for one of them. My death wvas a sore topic for the longest time, since it wvas both unwvanted and early.  I felt as though my potential to become or do anything had been stolen from me, I suppose. I'm not entirely sure wvhen I managed to start taking it wvith a grain of salt. Perhaps wvhen Arlequin and I buried the hatchet, so to speak, and squared up matters. palteringcecutiency ...potential being stolen I am quite familiar with. ...and I admit some envy at your hatchet burying, though I do not believe I would do it if the opportunity was presented. But helming jokes always pique interest, pray tell, however did you offend Artiifex? caepaecaesurae I think I'll forevwer owve you apologies for stolen potentials.  One of the fewv upsides to the honorbound rigidity wvith wvhich both Arlequin and I are plagued is that it offers vwery clear resolutions to some issues, if one holds traditions close enough to heart. There wvas a time wvhen his cut hair and metal hand filled me wvith a spiteful peace, though it's finally wvearing through to something more apologetic. ... Are you absolutely sure you wvant to hear an offensivwe helming joke? caepaecaesurae It's not evwen particularly clevwer, and the punchline is that helming is unpleasant. palteringcecutiency Tch. It was not you who stole my potential, I got away from /you/. ...though I admit curiosity for a moment for your dusty traditions: if you were in my place, what would you demand of Her? Or yourself, or Makara? Cronus, I absolutely doubt you could offend me about helming. I give you full permission to tell me without consequence, and you can screenshot this if you must. caepaecaesurae I suppose it depends wvhat crimes you hoped to erase, wvith Her or Makara.  I suspect I'd take a fewv pieces off of her so her ghost wvould lack them and kill her flat out. Hands come to mind. palteringcecutiency I'd hardly think that would be effective, I didn't have mine for millennia and I was just fine. caepaecaesurae She could probably use an eternity wvith a set of nubs. You'd be surprised howv attached most people are to those things. Imagine the wvhining. "Someone, refill my glass" caepaecaesurae "Anyone" "Where is everybody" "Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh" palteringcecutiency Her whining is rather enjoyable from a distance, I must say. caepaecaesurae ... So, I wvas in my Orphaner phase, wvithout any Beforan memories, and wvith sevweral centuries of solitude under my belt and a tendency to push people awvay on purpose.  If they Could be offended, after all, may as wvell get it ovwer wvith. So in a group chat, I made a fewv comments including the wvords "vwroom vwroom" at some helmsmen. Sparks told me that wvas inappropriate, and so I apologized... ..and in that apology, I promised not to make any further sarcastic engine noises -- like "help" or "please". ... And then he banned me from that chat. palteringcecutiency ...oh my god. palteringcecutiency That is absolutely beautiful. God, I have nowhere to use it but fuck if I want to find one. caepaecaesurae I'm glad, if bemused, that you approvwe. palteringcecutiency More than approve, that's absolutely hilarious. Awful, terrible, you probably deserved the ban but /hilarious/. caepaecaesurae Oh, I knowv I deservwed the ban, I had to apologize on and off for nights and I still need to apologize occasionally. palteringcecutiency Yes, of that I have no doubt. Artiifex does not seem to have that particular area of humor, thank god. caepaecaesurae "Howv many pilots does it take to ____", "One, evwery fewv hundred thousand miles" caepaecaesurae ... I'm glad he doesn't.  Grim humor is its owvn art, but not evweryone needs the perspectivwe that allowvs one to appreciate it. palteringcecutiency "Why did the engineers have to patch the security on their own?" "The helmsman had their hands full with the rest of the system." ...I agree, the fewer who understand and the more who get angry is far better for everyone. caepaecaesurae ...Fuck, that's a sharp one, isn't it? Good showv. palteringcecutiency c; caepaecaesurae I'm impressed, I'll remember that one. palteringcecutiency In the beginning, it was my favorite thing to tell Her when She wanted me to do something. "I'm ever so sorry, I've my hands full with" whatever boring background routine I was processing at the time, as technically said as possible so She lost interest quickly. I'd ask you to refrain from sharing with him, but occasionally Kankri sets up opportunities as well and I cannot help myself. caepaecaesurae Sensible. I'll try not to share in any context that wvould make him sad. palteringcecutiency Thank you, it is appreciated. ...he worries so much about me as is, I do not want to cause him more with a misunderstanding. But it was fucking hilarious to watch her be so unaware of her own ship's systems that I could convince her I was completely occupied by keeping track of time, for example. palteringcecutiency [[ Her** x2 ]] caepaecaesurae I used the oblivious highblood routine myself on occasion, to convwince others not to bother me wvith things I didn't care about. palteringcecutiency I have no doubt, it's a handy trick to use, and even handier to take advantage of. caepaecaesurae "Handy" indeed. Did she evwer notice the pun? palteringcecutiency ...it was not so much that She noticed that pun in specific, or any of them really. It was more She noticed my general... attitude, and found it... lacking, especially in respect. And then She fixed it, so it was no longer a problem. palteringcecutiency There was a while though, that she thought I was obedient and faithful. That was a great deal of fun. c: caepaecaesurae Perhaps there's something fitting in the fact that she, immortal queen of life, is the only troll denied this wvorld. ..I'm glad only her Beforan half exists. caepaecaesurae I'm glad you had fun mocking and toying wvith her. I'm sure you used it to its fullest. (( *used the opportunity )) palteringcecutiency Of course. c: I gummed up so many of Her works, and I /know/ She did not discover them all, that quite a few were still active when the Empire died. A quiet double bird lingering in the distance. caepaecaesurae Hah!  Good. Not so good for Empire, and I hope you didn't harass too many undeservwing trolls wvhile you wvere at it, but.. Good. WVhat sorts of things did you leavwe behind? palteringcecutiency I am very unsure who was undeserving at that point, and god knows some of my actions reached others. ...my favorite was creating a private, secured chat room for helmsmen, after they'd put enough security measures in that I was forced to leave them alone from direct action. caepaecaesurae Across the fleet, or in your ship?  If there wvere others. ..Either wvay, good showv. palteringcecutiency Across the fleet. c: There were no others in the Battleship with me, they could put in enough securities to keep my claws out of other ships' helmsmen eventually, but the Battleship was mine, and my reach was everywhere. caepaecaesurae The ability to speak to others is... important.  I'm glad you could givwe them that. palteringcecutiency So very important. I... could not help, after a while, but they could help each other, or at least listen and understand. caepaecaesurae You helped, by movwing things into place so that those wvho could act had the resources to do so.  WVithin their limits. palteringcecutiency It's my favorite for a reason. c: caepaecaesurae I'd be proud if I managed it too, especially if it stayed secret all that long. Or in action despite a lack of secrecy. palteringcecutiency It was most definitely secret, She would not have suffered Her engines retaining their trollhood, and even less the talk of rebellion that came to the surface from time to time. I hid it far too well and secured it even moreso, and the others grew into their own moderators in my absence. Not every helmsman got in. Quite a few were loyal to the Empire, or loyal enough. palteringcecutiency Some were batshit already and could not be trusted with such a secret, nor honestly contribute much. palteringcecutiency ...some end up husks, with no one hive. It took some sussing out, but if one read between the lines in reports, it could be figured out. caepaecaesurae Fair, if unfortunate. Did you?  Or did she miss a fewv spots? palteringcecutiency Unfortunately no, I was still quite aware, though I cannot say I was hive often. Makara apparently thought I did after a while, but I was spending most of my time out of my meat and in the system instead. caepaecaesurae WVas there much to explore, in the system? palteringcecutiency Yes and no. There were updates constantly, input added and deleted, the whole thing a shifting creature of sorts. But I spent two thousand sweeps in that ship, I know it better than I know myself. Surprises stopped coming after a while. palteringcecutiency Being the ship had its advantages over being meat, however, and it was far easier to watch the crew if you didn't have the wetware's resistance to seeing through cameras. caepaecaesurae Wetware? palteringcecutiency Ah, pardon, the helming term for my body. Hardware is the metal machine parts, bioware the organic ones, software is the code, wetware is the troll. palteringcecutiency I cannot even remember if it was the official name, but it's what it was called. palteringcecutiency It was easier for engineers to call it euphemisms than acknowledge the fact that they'd grafted a person to a system. caepaecaesurae Euphemisms -- and the lack thereof -- are an underappreciated wveapon. The body has some resistance to wvatching through cameras? palteringcecutiency It does. A vast majority of trolls are biologically designed to handle two visual inputs, or two eyes. It's how we're wired as a species, it's how our pans work. There are /thousands/ of cameras on a ship, let alone on a ship the size of the Battleship, and the pan wants nothing to do with that. caepaecaesurae ..Ah. Ah, I see. Yes, that wvould be disorienting. ... I can access the internet wvith my mind, nowv.  For some fool reason. caepaecaesurae I can't See any of it though.  I keep havwing to display it on a screen. On an object around me. I can't seem to manage it internally. palteringcecutiency Your godhood, I assume? Unless you've been grubnapped and fitted with Mm. Probably should not help. caepaecaesurae Godtier, aye. No? palteringcecutiency With spelling out what cybernetics you'd need. God knows you'd hope them into existence by accident. ...using your pan to access technology, yes, I could help with that, if you want it. caepaecaesurae Tsk.  I'vwe enough familiarity wvith howv I wvork not to imagine myself into anything I can't imagine my wvay back out of.  One of the fewv things I learned in the bubbles. caepaecaesurae ... I wvouldn't mind the advwice, if you don't mind givwing it.  It sounds like you havwe a perspectivwe I lack. Unsurprisingly. palteringcecutiency I certainly have that, yes. c: palteringcecutiency I would be hesitant to call any data I viewed as being 'on a screen,' that is far too static and unmalleable, like a projection on a wall across the block. caepaecaesurae Literally something I do. palteringcecutiency Most likely because that is how you are used to interacting with computers. They've, until now, been separate from you, and of course you'd continue thinking of them as separate. I do not recommend changing that but merely... blurring the lines a little more than you already have. Think of the internet as a stream, and instead of pulling up a web page to plaster on a wall, reach in and catch a fish of information. palteringcecutiency If you catch enough fish, you can put them together to /understand/ the web page, rather than just /see/ it. palteringcecutiency With understanding, comes the ability to mentally imagine the page as it would appear on a computer. Just taking out the computer part. caepaecaesurae I havwe the added exciting issue of "Howv do I knowv I'm getting the correct information, and not my imagination" caepaecaesurae I'm..  Occasionally fighting that still, evwen wvith the "functional" (?) imaginary computer. palteringcecutiency Hm. That is certainly a challenge I never had to face. And I suppose if you're struggling with this, you do not know very much coding. caepaecaesurae WVould you like me to image search a hacker gif from a movwie, because I'm sure I can find one that wvould make you wvince. Coding makes things, and you click on the things, and they wvork.  And that's as invwolvwed as I get. palteringcecutiency Oh good lord. caepaecaesurae I can hack things by imagining that they givwe me the "Okay, you gavwe the right passwvord" prompt instead of the one they're supposed to. WVhich, wvhile handy, is not... I'm not techy.  That's wvhat I'm saying here. palteringcecutiency I've picked up that subtle hint I believe. palteringcecutiency Lord, and I thought the fish metaphor was dumbing it down to troll level. palteringcecutiency The easiest solution I can come up with right now is 'learn code first' followed by /maybe/ 'trial and error with a real computer nearby to check against' but caepaecaesurae I understood the metaphor, I'm just not sure if that step is wvithin reach. ..Also, the computer wvill say wvhatevwer I expect it to say, wvhich is howv I got into this problem in the first place. palteringcecutiency ...that seems. Extremely unsettling. caepaecaesurae WVelcome to my life. caepaecaesurae Ask Sparks about tech support on my tablet sometime. palteringcecutiency I'm rather sure anything I'd say you are already firmly aware of. I'm not sure my curiosity outweighs my cringing horror. caepaecaesurae So, to vwiewv a wvebpage, you'd...  pull up the background color, and the text in any boxes, and the pictures, and just hold them all separately in mind? caepaecaesurae Howv do you knowv wvhen you'vwe gotten the entire thing? palteringcecutiency You could, and I certainly would, and I might not even bother with some of it depending on what I was there for. God, how do I describe this. caepaecaesurae Precisely my question. palteringcecutiency The code of a web page is like a list of instructions on how to build it. It tells you precisely everything, from what size the font is, to how big the margins are, to colors and shapes and where the pictures are and where they're from. Every single detail, spelled out at length. caepaecaesurae And howv do you knowv if, say, the middle third of the page is missing? palteringcecutiency It'd turn into a jumbled disaster of garbage. Code is not written in order, "first you paint the background #6a006a, and on top of that you put text boxes 500 px wide by 300 px tall..." If they were, dumping out the middle third would get you missing pictures, or missing header changes, or god knows what. No, code is nesting and segmented and arranged in either a specific order it needs to be in or at the whim of the coder. Missing the middle third might eliminate all the font. Or leave everything fine but the containers the posts are in. Links might not work. Icons might be gone. Probably all of them at once, if I am honest. caepaecaesurae That sounds dreadfully exciting. So it's all inter-related and things don't spontaneously go missing. It's all or nothing. palteringcecutiency Unfortunately yes. Even if one line goes missing, things explode into nonsense. caepaecaesurae So howv does one reach in and grab just a small piece? palteringcecutiency In your case, I wouldn't advise it. I would have you aim for the big fish with the entire list on it until you get adjusted to doing that, as much as you can with the metaphor falling apart. caepaecaesurae So... Just try to grab the webpage and put the entire thing in my pan. And poke at bits of it. And see wvhat happens. palteringcecutiency A lot of trolls learn html that way, albeit without the pan part. caepaecaesurae Html? palteringcecutiency The name of the coding language typically used for the internet. caepaecaesurae Ah, I see. palteringcecutiency If you go onto a new post on Tumblr, and click on the gear on the upper right corner, there is a thing that has a dropdown list next to a 'text editor' label. One of the things is HTML, which lets you look at your post's code before you post it, and also tinker with it if necessary. caepaecaesurae WVhat's  ? I'm seeing a lot of <p> and <br> and </p> caepaecaesurae The internet says something about non-breaking space. WVhat's a breaking space? caepaecaesurae WVait, no, I found it. ....That's almost clevwer. caepaecaesurae Of course typesetting wvould be invwolvwed. palteringcecutiency Of course, why wouldn't it be? Text on a website needs to look just as nice as text in a book or on newsprint. caepaecaesurae And all the differences are invwisible to the reader. palteringcecutiency To the average reader, yes. To those who know what is going on behind the scenes, you can spot these things when they are or, more often, aren't there. caepaecaesurae Hm. palteringcecutiency If you have more questions, you can leave them here, but I am going to sleep. caepaecaesurae Rest wvell, and..thank you for talking. I appreciate it. palteringcecutiency ...and I appreciate someone to listen, quite a lot. So thank you in return. caepaecaesurae They are in short supply sometimes.  ....Anytime, chief. palteringcecutiency Sleep well when you get there, Cronus. c: caepaecaesurae And you, Mituna.  Until next wve meet.