#3 days of non-focus yeehaw

[painted-bees]

wahahay what do I gotta do to get my brain back on task lol

[bosspigeon]

How is your Tav and Durges' relationship to the other companions? Are they close with any of them, other than their LIs? What is their dynamic like?

Bonus: Do they have any notable relationships among the other non-companion characters?

HELLO I AM FINALLY GONNA TRY AND ANSWER SOME OF THESE YEEHAW

As I love literally all the companions, bc they are all so messy and beloved to me, most of my characters tend to have that disastrous found family dynamic that I adore <3 but ye I think they've all got their own relationships with each other them

I think Pyre gets along really well with Karlach? Which I imagine surprises the others, somewhat. But they're both soldiers, at the end of the day, and there's a comfortable familiarity in that dynamic for both of them. Karlach, of course, is somewhat irreverent when she responds "Sir yes sir" to Pyre giving her an order, but he finds her energy and zest for life really refreshing? They both know what it's like to be a prisoner, after all, and to cherish the freedom they have, knowing what it's like to claw your way out of hell.

He gets along with Lae'zel for similar reasons in one direction, and Wyll in another. He and Lae'zel talk shop and strategy a lot, and she respects his shrewdness and forceful decisiveness, and he her focus, determination, and discipline.

With Wyll, once things come out about Mizora, there is definitely an uncomfortable familiarity for him, and it makes him determined to help Wyll escape the contract however he can.

I feel that Pyre feels much older than the rest of the party, save Astarion and Halsin, and it's sort of given him a reluctant dad vibe 😩 Well, he acts gruff and reluctant, but I think deep down he enjoys having this sort of close bond with them all. He's been alone for so long...

As for non-party members? He and Zevlor get along fairly well, even though I feel like it doesn't seem that way to most who see it. I can definitely see some history between the two of them, and I think they interact exactly how you'd expect two gruff old men to interact.

NOW FOR MOSS

With Moss, I think the rest of the party wind up very protective of him. He's so open and earnest, and also just... doesn't understand a lot of the intricacies of the world around him. He's very clearly completely lost, with no memories to speak of, not even a name at first. Still, he's determined to survive same as they are, and he becomes... terrifyingly loyal to them, very quickly.

They have to help him a lot with just becoming a functional person? And tbh I feel like some of them take that duty VERY seriously. Gale for sure. Especially bc Moss will happily listen to him explain magic things for hours on end just staring at him like 🥺. He and Shadowheart bond over that shared amnesiac trauma, and also later on the fun Abusive Parent situations. Lae'zel admires his power and brutality when it's necessary, and his struggle to resist that brutality when it isn't. Wyll just admires how honest he is about what he is and what he's feeling, and how empathetic he is when he has absolutely no reason to be.

Karlach has decided she's his big sister, even if he is A Good Bit Bigger Than Her. She cannot wait until it is safe to put him in an affectionate headlock and give him a noogie 😩

Halsin takes on a mentor role as a fellow druid because there's a lot about being one that Moss, oddly enough, doesn't really understand? Moss respects him enormously.

At the end of the day, Moss would tear out the entrails of any who dared hurt any of his friends and eat them bloody (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

[joychords]

gradblrchallenge: the end!

hello! sorry I wasn’t as active in this challenge as I hoped I’d be. august was chock-full of stuff, and even if a lot of that stuff wasn’t stressful at all, it was still...stuff. like, stuff that takes up time and energy. I knew a lot of it was coming, too, so I think this is a lesson I’ve learned for the next time a challenge like this comes around. don’t sign up for more stuff if your month is already full of stuff.

anyway, below the readmore you’ll find some academic and non-academic thoughts about the last week, or the last month, or the last 24 hours. thanks for being so welcoming, grad student tumblr. best of luck with all your stuff, academic or otherwise. <3 

I had a meeting with my supervisor that went pretty well, and she told me I’m good at this and if I wanted to go for a PhD she’d support that idea. 

she also mentioned that scholarships are a thing. yeehaw.

honestly I don’t know whether I’d want to go for a PhD. I get all uncomfortable about falling behind what I perceive to be the standard for my age group; just look for a full-time job, jules, just leave school behind already. (plus, every now and then I think about how I’ve been in school non-stop since I was five, and it weirds me out.)

(a musicology PhD would be a great excuse to keep writing more and more about music, but then again there are other excuses.)

there are surely more thoughts I have about the concept of a PhD but I’ll leave it at that for now because there are other things to talk about.

things like pokemon go! honestly such a nice way to spend my winter free time, and such a good excuse to walk around and explore new places. if I didn’t have friends playing it this time around, I bet I’d have stopped playing like I did in 2017, but the community made all the difference. and now I have a celebi! 

today I went on a date with T for the first time in a while, and we heard weird whistling/bell noises coming from the metal railings of the balcony over the beach. it was so cool. 

finally tidied up my desk and made it more of a working space again!

don’t usually get much recreational reading done but I reread a TON of books in august, which was admittedly sometimes just another route to hyperfocus city but overall was very refreshing.

bought a semester pass to the uni gym and started going to yoga two mornings a week with T, and it’s been hellish and great and I never wanna stop. 

spent an uncomfortable amount of money this month for someone whose grad school stipend ran out six months ago. gotta stop buying so much food at uni. 

this week is going to be hard because it’s the anniversary of me losing a close friend - of the whole music community at uni losing someone we loved - but I’m going to be gentle with myself and try not to be frustrated if I can’t be a blazing fire of energy & focus. grief is weird and big and it exists.

today I finally started writing/editing notes on my audio & video sources!!

generally very grateful to still be alive & kicking, and determined to slam a finished thesis into the submission tray 57 days from now.

[daylighteclipsed]

nemesisadraste: Emotions aren't rationnal. Even when they have to devirtualise themself but "killing" each other (unless is for saving someone from the virtual sea) they have to plan it out to fell good about it.

I know. I was more poking fun at the fact that Ulrich and Yumi get so caught up in things here they seem to forget the other will be fine haha. Or they seem to care so much it doesn’t matter that the other will be fine. There are some episodes they react with reason, like in Saint Valentine’s Day when Yumi slips through Ulrich’s grasp and they’re not sure if Jeremie’s going to devirtualize her before she hits the digital sea, or in Franz Hopper, when XANA bugs up the program so devirtualization = death and Ulrich gets hit and both Yumi and Odd cry out because they don’t know that Jeremie fixed the program in time. But in Guided Missiles and Kadic Bombshell there’s no ‘serious’ reason for it.

In the earlier episodes, Ulrich and Yumi don’t react at all to seeing the other non-lethally devirtualized. It’s near the end of season 2 into season 3 that Ulrich starts showing Yumi’s general devirtualization bothers him, like in The Key. He’s holding Yumi’s hand as they’re both hanging off a ledge, and when she’s devirtualized he actually reaches for her hand as it disappears (and her fingers seem to reach for him too). Then his hand curls into a tight fist.

In Straight to Heart, Yumi’s devirtualized, and Ulrich turns and shouts her name, and Odd has to scold him because Yumi’s virtual death is distracting Ulrich that much.

“Forget it! Concentrate on our monster friends!”

In William Returns, Yumi cries Ulrich’s name after he’s blown up by a mine (that sounds really violent written out jfc). I hate to keep referencing Ulrich, but he’s the one who shows it bothers him the most, like in Opening Act, William takes Yumi out and Ulrich growls, “If you’re trying to get a date with Yumi, I’m not so sure that’s the right way.” Or in Distant Memory, similar to The Key, Ulrich immediately notices Yumi’s been devirtualized, and he glances back, glaring.

Then in Guided Missiles and Kadic Bombshell you’ve got the shouted “No!” from Ulrich and Yumi respectively when they see William ‘kill’ the other.

Yumi’s shout is more dramatic imo because it ends up getting her killed right after Ulrich rip. (“Ulrich, no!” is also a really mean parallel to Fight to the Finish when William, on Earth, throws Ulrich across the room in what should be a lethal manner. Ulrich’s skull and spine should’ve cracked against the wall, and Yumi doesn’t just shout, she screams, shrieks, “Ulrich, NO!”)

But I’m pretty sure Ulrich gets killed here in the first place because he’s distracted by Yumi struggling in battle. 

Ulrich’s looking aside a bit, I think over William’s shoulder, and William takes advantage of it. He catches Ulrich off guard, and then Ulrich’s kind of forced to retreat back until he’s cornered against the wall. Too bad Odd wasn’t there this time to tell him to focus. 

Ulrich and Yumi don’t shout or express concern/emotion when their other friends are devirtualized unless it’s dire, and it’s interesting how early on in the series they don’t even express that concern for each other unless its dire. The emotion just kind of starts showing over time, which is a little funny cause you’d think they’d get used to watching each other virtually die as the story progresses but instead they seem to get more discontented with it. Probably because they’re falling in love. Not the childish crushing that’s going on for a good chunk of the story, but deeper, more adult love. Actual love.

And it shows in other ways besides devirtualization. For ex, the Ulrich of the earlier seasons would not get killed on Lyoko because he’s distracted by Yumi. He would not be so focused on getting to Yumi on Earth that he completely forgets his own life points (Crash Course). I don’t even know if the old Ulrich would admit he wants to be the one who helps Yumi in that situation. He certainly would not swallow his jealousy, would not let the extent of his distress for Yumi show around others, would not let emotional truths slip out on accident or otherwise (”What wouldn’t I do for you?”; “What a nightmare.”; “Better believe it!”).

The Yumi of the earlier seasons would not go out of her way to be physically affectionate with Ulrich. She wouldn't be brave enough to kiss his cheek, his forehead. She definitely would not pretty much admit to Ulrich’s face that she’s into him by saying he doesn’t have to do anything to get her attention, because he already has her attention--she already thinks about him all the time--and she definitely wouldn’t insinuate that she wants him to talk to her about it/make a move (”Next time, try talking to me instead of doing something so dumb.”). The old Yumi would sooner pick a big fight than admit any of that (Routine). She wouldn’t let her feelings show. She wouldn’t (finally) answer Ulrich’s soft gaze with one of her own, which is why this is one of my favorite parallels ever:

(I can’t even express to you how desperately I wanted Ulrich to touch Yumi’s face the second time, brush his hand against her cheek or something. If there was ever a moment for them to kiss (or almost kiss again), honestly, it’s here. Look at how soft he’s gripping her shoulders. Their faces are so close, expressions so tender. I could stare at these pictures forever. I’m dying.)

And I could get more into their relationship, totally break down when/how/why things change, but this post has already gotten away from me. So: Yes, emotions aren’t rational, and Ulrich and Yumi express more emotion toward the other’s devirtualization as time goes on, and this correlates with other emotional behaviors they start exhibiting later on, which matches with how I personally interpret the course of their falling in love throughout the series. But I can’t say it was done on purpose, that the writers had this all mapped out. Maybe. Probably not. And I’m not going to touch on devirtualization being likened to death here because I’ve already got a separate post started about that in my drafts. Yeehaw.