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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 2 years ago

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1:55 pmpdt 1 April 2023 Saturday 🪐 sabado

1:56 pmpdt incubus/miñion wa (see that green auto saved box under keyboard ⌨️ on screen pain flesh? Bone 🦴 right bottom head 1:57 pmpdt) wants me to believe I’m too greedy and selfish with food and money 💰, that I should have been more charitable to my cousin, aunt, uncle; that I psychologically? Tortured? My cousin. You had to be there to know. I wrote about it before. Maybe I should have been more giving financially. I think it was 2011? My mom bought a tv 📺 and wanted cable for it. I told her if she got that I would become addicted and I would not get reading 📖 done. I hmmm 🤔 am I wrong about it being 2011? Maybe it was after the lay off. I remember it was October coincidentally someone’s birthday 🎂 that I didn’t talk to anymore. Maybe the tv 📺 was b4, and the cable was a lot later? Anyway, I guess incubus wanted me to pay 💰 for my cousin’s dinners maybe more. I remember sometime btwn august? September? 2011 and November? 2014 b4 moving in together my aunt over the phone ☎️ asks for math 🧮 homework 📚 help to get my cousin’s homework done. I remember her tone grumbly? Communicated to me with her words that I was obligated to and it was my responsibility to help with it. It seemed at the time that she was getting it done for her? I think I reminded her what to tell my cousin so she can do it herself? I think it was very late at night. Bcz she was not at our place I’m thinking Bcz I don’t remember the math 🧮 questions that maybe this was after my cousin punched me very strongly amazingly, painfully in the head that renewed and extended my troubles again from my previous trauma/concussions? (Left hip bone? 🦴 pain 2:14 pmpdt) I don’t think 💭 anyone but me and my 9 year old cousin knew. That was October 2011. So the pizza 🍕 thing could have been September? I don’t remember. 2:16 pmpdt I’ve given a few dollars 💸 and a few (vag pain was that flesh ripping? Stung 2:17 pmpdt 😖😭) 2:18 pmpdt snacks away to random people on the streets in Berkeley who asked. Half were nice, and the other half scared me a little into it. Or maybe one time I was maybe unnecessarily scared. And another time maybe I was necessarily scared Bcz of the way it happened but they didn’t use any physical force or threatening devices. For a lot of my life I was easily a pushover I guess, even though I probably too easily got a few things I wanted like a few times I got free ice cream 🍦 from my school 🏫 mate in the 6th grade. She asked me maybe 3 times? If I wanted ice cream 🍦? And I said yes. And then with the ice cream 🍦 in my hands 🙌 I asked do I have to pay 💰 you back (and I was wishing that I didn’t have to) and she said no. Later I told mom and mom said you’re supposed to pay 💰 her back but I rebutted. To me I didn’t bully her. But she, maybe she really was expecting to be repaid. I checked on her during COVID, she had been collecting gently used eye glasses frames to donate to third? World 🌎 countries. 2:28 pmpdt I should have paid her back. But maybe 🤔 her family was able to afford to be charitable. My dad couldn’t find a teaching job anywhere else but (throat pain 2:29 pmpdt) Oakland at the time being a math 🧮 science teacher 👨🏻‍🏫 for learning disabled high school 🏫 kids. We never lived in Oakland but he moved close to it. I guess in that way we were lucky 🍀. When my mom separated from my dad she initially moved us into a neighborhood that had one bedroom apartments. The car 🚗 got broken into and damaged. (2:38 pmpdt botched? Stereo theft assumed crowbar in tape deck probably attempted to pry it out and my mom reported the stench of beer 🍻 on the seats 💺 2:39 pmpdt) And the park not too far away someone was found in the trash can murdered.

I don’t know if I was shielded from other things that happened or if those were anomaly for that neighborhood but my mom and the next door 🚪 neighbor talked about moving. 2:34 pmpdt my mom still hated me though it seemed. She told me don’t make that face you look like your dad, when I was upset/angry. 2:35 pmpdt (left nose 👃 nostril pain sharp sting) also felt possibly acid on my butt that I’m sitting 🪑 on. Cutting pain vag 2:37 pmpdt). While we lived in this apartment my mom used my birthday money from grandparents to buy a microwave and an elementary school crush named adnan pushed me when I was on Barbie roller skates and I landed on my wrist and it broke (sharp pain left side bottom back had. More pain right side front forehead area etc. 2:42 pmpdt) and had to get a cast on it. 2:43 pmpdt

2:44 pmpdt I didn’t know my aunt and uncle’s financial situation. Maybe I should have asked. Maybe I should have assumed they needed help. When I was at UCB a housemate I was randomly hanging out with for the first time asked to borrow $10 for ice cream. She never paid me back and avoided me ever since. 2:47 pmpdt she talked a lot to guys at the house we were living in. 2:48 pmpdt (tummy ache). Karma again. 2:48 pmpdt

2:49 pmpdt my aunt had recently bought a new car at the time. Maybe my uncle did, too? For some reason I thought it was a Prius but maybe I’m wrong. 2:50 pmpdt presumptuous. 2:51 pmpdt I don’t remember when she bought it. I only remember she had it as far back when I lived at the apartment I lived in btwn march 2011 and November? 2014. 2:53 pmpdt I still feel bad. But this feeling of bad is different than how I usually felt previous years. My cousin was very strong. She had a little Nintendo ds lite was it? With a pet cat dog game for kids. 2:56 pmpdt she could fit my shoes at the time she said. She said someone at the shoe store told her she can wear women’s shoes. I guess I had small feet but by middle school age 2015? I think she had size 10 adult shoes? I am trying to remember. She grew up to a few inches taller than me but she probably could have been taller Bcz her dad was a giant to me. 2:59 pmpdt I don’t think she was deprived. She was confident for her age I think. She liked Nikki Minaj and danced and when we were both at my mom’s laptop she tried to find out the password and take control of it even though I told her no. 3:02 pmpdt She mentioned sometime that her dad didn’t want her to be a kid so they watched I think she mentioned family guy. I don’t remember the year she mentioned that. I don’t remember if she was 9 or 12 years old. When I was invited to go hiking she wanted (acid pain brain skull 3:05 pmpdt) to go with me. When I was doing something in my bedroom she walked by multiple times saying “hi (my name)” minutes apart. When she was 4 years old she was already afraid to touch my guitar probably Bcz her dad had a guitar she said had butterflies on it when she was 9. But when she was 4 years old she played with the guitar stand - the bottom part was spin able so she spun it for minutes? At a time. One kids movie played repeatedly all day when she was 4 years old. If I tormented her psychologically I don’t remember how, incubus. We watched videos on YouTube together when she was 9 years old. 3:11 pmpdt when we lived together in 2015 and it was only the 2 of us left alone I let her do what she wanted and she usually brought a whole package of cookies or crackers and ate most of it herself in the bedroom with her smart phone with the door closed and I heard her laughing probably watching family guy cartoon. I felt like I had no power so I let her do what she wanted. 3:15 pmpdt

3:16 pmpdt pain I did put parental control on the tv but I thought that would block adult content. I think we did hip hop abs once together or I showed it to her-3:21 pmpdt there was a part that was only hip hop dance- and I did pikachu impression once I guess to try to amuse her. But I guess incubus is right maybe I still did somethings that I should not have maybe those things were psychologically torturing? Trying to remember specifically what those were. 3:20 pmpdt 3:22 pmpdt I let her borrow my laptop one night for homework. I helped her make a maze on excel and tried to encourage her to make it using it. A back of cereal box project. 3:25 pmpdt I tried a lot to be nice to her even if I maybe (acid pain brain skull 3:26 pmpdt) had feelings to not be? But I was harder on my aunt. Maybe subconsciously it was Bcz her daughter strongly punched me in the head. 3:27 pmpdt but in the conscious part of my mind it was about self preservation and control- not allowing her to walk all over me? Financially? Maybe it was greed. B4 (vag pain 3:29 pmpdt) we moved in together I was thinking about paying off loans, or going to amen clinics, or moving to New York. 3:31 pmpdt

3:38 pmpdt sharp thick stabs back of head flesh . I guess? I understand their logic? Reasoning . Why they don’t blame themselves for the bad things happening to me. But if you had the intention of hurting me so that’s why you punched me can you really say you’re great? When I never physically hurt you? 3:41 pmpdt did you have the intention to murder me? 3:41 pmpdt

3:42 pmpdt (acid? Pain back mouth throat & tongue 3:43 pmpdt) karam?

3:45 pmpdt on Wikipedia years ago I read that there is an opening? In the top of the skull. Now this moment I question if it’s true. But did my cousin at the age of 9 and karam a 7th grader have been instructed based on this information that there was a weak spot at the top of the human skull Bcz of a artery/vein? Which I believed for years after I read it. Or is incubus gas lighting me? 3:49 pmpdt was incubus trying to drive a wedge socially btwn me and my cousin and my aunt and my middle school? Was he trying to make me angry with lies? Was it a coincidence and not thought out? Idk. 3:52 pmpdt if not, if it was believed, then does that mean they intentionally thought they could kill me that way? And that it would be hard to detect Bcz it’s covered by hair and a lot of people who have concussions forget they hit their head but suffer a lot of after effects afterwards? One of those is was it memory loss? And difficulty keeping relationships long term. 3:56 pmpdt in an amen book I read ≈2010? Or later, an identical twin girl fell out of the top bunk. The twin who didn’t fall out from a tall height was normal probably happy and excelled, and the one that had a concussion didn’t remember she fell out and a lot of problems afterwards. 3:59 pmpdt they say it’s Bcz of the concussion. 3:59 pmpdt idk .

4:03 pmpdt my bones including my skull are probably very weak now. I don’t desire to test it unless it’s an inescapable Armageddon. 4:04 pmpdt

4:05 pmpdt which would probably conveniently reinvigorate the oceans supply. Or I will probably die of a plane crash into the ocean. 4:07 pmpdt 😞lightheaded. 4:07 pmpdt

4:37 pmpdt 4:38 pmpdt why did my aunt need my help for her math homework? Maybe it was algebra and she forgot how to do it? Do pharmacists need algebra to comput doses? I guess not? 4:39 pmpdt (pain left hand flesh and left big toe ballish area. 4:40 pmpdt

4:59 pmpdt

6:50 pmpdt I guess In reality I’m not a great person. I think the incubus gave me a sign via the news that I’m being dumped. I wonder if the world is coming to an end. It’s fine if I get marooned/left behind. I don’t think I would be happy living much longer if incubus is god. 6:53 pmpdt

7:26 pmpdt I feel like I do remember that I did give some people verbally? A hard time and maybe it was psychological. I don’t remember the specifics of what I did. But I feel like It could be true. I can’t remember the details though. I remember once I gave my mom a hard time ≈1996 when she was outside our new apartment with her boyfriend who was younger than her. Bcz I gave her a hard time she told me they broke up Bcz of me, (left hip bone pain 7:30 pmpdt) even though they probably really broke up Bcz he wanted to have kids and she was 39 years old already with 3 kids. Her sister had my cousin when she was ≈40-42 years old, and she told me recently that the father of her daughter said b4 they got married: you have a beautiful body and I will not let you go. My paternal? Grandma had my uncle when she was ≈35 years old. And my problems started summer 2017 (right hip bone pain 7:34 pmpdt). When I was 32? 7:35 pmpdt

7:38 pmpdt maybe this isn’t what the incubus was thinking about when he pointed it out. Bcz it had something to do with keys I think I said she couldn’t have it back Bcz she was doing something outside with him. I said it Bcz dad complained like he was upset that mom was moving on but he probably should have mentioned all the stuff he did and take responsibility for the end of the marriage, too. I’m not going to write it here at least for now. Maybe I will say he did once openly try to date another woman while married to my mom. They talked on the phone and when they met in person for dinner, my mom told me recently that he took her out for an expensive dinner something about lobster or crab and it was the first time meeting up. It’s sounds so stupid it sounds like fiction. He should have walked away rather than going through with it. He told my mom that the woman he went On a date with was fat and he got stuck with the bill. And that he was shocked that she was fat. I guess she had the gift of gab. But my dad was very picky and has said b4 he prefers women to be slender. My dad is cursed I guess. Dumb. And I think he knows it. That he’s dumb. And it was probably a lesson he learned..? Lesson is don’t date when you are married with young children and a teacher with not a big income. My mom said he had a savings but spent it all stupidly probably taking pictures at I think I was told uc Santa Cruz? It’s like he was possessed to do stupid stuff. 7:51 pmpdt 7:54 pmpdt I guess my dad regretted stuff at that moment enough to cry about the chance he lost with my mom. 7:55 pmpdt Bcz he knows he was stupid and cursed? 7:56 pmpdt

9:50 pmpdt my dad also made things with wood. I only know of a coffee table and a yellow wood kids table. 9:50 pmpdt

11:15 pmpdt it’s really mean that he would lie about that. The incubus. I can’t believe anymore. To mess with me like that. That’s horrible. After the second guy (February-March/April 2006 (11:22 pmpdt)) which happened only one time through clothing I was celibate again. Until Scott happened summer 2007. 11:18 pmpdt someone is driving crazy outside. Pain for several minutes left eye area. The part of my skull next to my eye seems very thin. Is that normal? Right side ribs pain when I breathe and coughing. 11:21 pmpdt I didn’t feel org*sms 99.999999999% of the time I think, no matter what (and I think it was simply that they weren’t the right fit. 11:25 pmpdt )

12:11 am pdt I probably only org*smed 2 times. In my life. 12:13 am pdt

That’s excluding times I m*sturbated by myself/alone. 12:15 am pdt my fingers aren’t long enough. 12:16 am pdt

12:36 am pdt I guess I was stupid to believe what I read on Wikipedia. 12:37 am pdt but those punches seemed to have a big effect on me. 12:37 am pdt

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hakesbros · 2 years ago

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#real estate

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thesearchexperience · 2 years ago

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5 Things to Know Before Moving to San Francisco

San Francisco and Silicon Valley are naturally dream living destinations for people all over the world.

I too had that dream and in 2015 it became a reality when I relocated to launch a recruitment business. Four years later, and with a new wealth of experience, I often reflect on the initial year and recall the things I wish I’d known before I made the move – not things that would have changed my mind but rather help me prepare and settle in.

In a bid to pass on some seeds of wisdom, here are my top tips for anyone looking to relocate to the Bay Area.

1. Credit is everything and everything needs Credit. When I moved from Sydney to Silicon Valley, I became painfully aware of the need for a credit score and just how much it can impact your ability to get a cell phone, car, apartment and credit card. Prior to moving to San Francisco, a friend recommended that I apply for an American Express card (because of its universal nature). After 3 months I was then able to transfer that to a local American Express and it helped build a credit score and history far more quickly.

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3 Brace yourself for the cost. I know, I know, it is cliched to say that San Francisco is expensive, but you don’t realize just how expensive until you move there. San Francisco will be found on any list discussing the most expensive cities in the US and even the world. With a median rent price approaching $3500 for a one-bedroom apartment, San Francisco takes it’s ‘pound of flesh’ from its residents. With a near zero unemployment rate and a subsequent talent war that has driven salaries higher than any other city in the US, San Francisco’s rental market is just as competitive, and landlords have capitalized. If your company is relocating you to the Bay Area, ensure you negotiate a San Francisco premium for your salary. Rent, transport, restaurants and bars are all more expensive than almost any other city in the US, including New York.

4 Karl the Fog. “Microclimate” was a term I was unfamiliar with before arriving in San Francisco, but I quickly became acquainted with. As the hot inland air rises the cool breeze from the pacific creates the iconic fog that locals call Karl (named after a giant who's misunderstood in the Tim Burton movie “Big Fish”) which cools down the city significantly compared to the East or South Bay. With a short Bart ride (subway) over the Bay from San Francisco to Oakland (we’re talking 5 miles over the water), you’ll often leave behind a chilly 65 degrees Fahrenheit (18 degrees Celsius) and emerge from the tunnel to a lovely 85 degrees (29 degrees Celsius). Even the temperature in SF itself can change within minutes so always be prepared with layers to add or take off.

5 Tipping and Sales Tax.Meals and shopping will always be more expensive than the menu or price tag suggests. Sales Tax is added to the bill at the end of a meal or at the till in a shop so don’t be surprised when you’re asked to cough up more than you thought! There is also a huge tipping culture in America and for the vast majority of servers and bartenders, tips make up a substantial part of their income and in general you are expected to tip 15 – 20% of the bill. The same goes the same for hotel bell staff, beauticians, tour guides and taxi’s, etc.

Despite this, San Francisco is an incredible city to live professionally and personally. You will find more networking opportunities here than any other city in the world and people are always happy to stop and help you out. You’ll be hard pressed to find bad food and if you love the outdoors you will never grow tired of your surroundings (skiing, hiking etc), but the biggest benefit for me is the sports culture. The Warriors, Sharks, Giants, 49ers, Raiders(for now), Earthquakes, A’s….I could go on. The Bay Area is spoilt for choice where professional sports are concerned with all 4 major US sports having a presence in San Francisco. And, depending on the time of year buying tickets is relatively affordable (even by SF standards).

Source URL : http://bit.ly/3Xny9fb

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rajproperties-blog · 7 months ago

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Apartments For Rent In East Oakland- 1, 2, 3 & 4 Bedroom | Raj Properties

Find apartments for rent in east Oakland at Raj Properties. Choose from 1, 2, 3 & 4 bedroom apartments, luxury and cost-effective in the finest neighborhoods.

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#apartments for rent in east oakland

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alameda-ca-near · 2 years ago

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Alta Star Harbor

Finding an impressive townhouse for rent inAlameda is easy with Alta Star Harbor. Their one, two, or three-bedroom contemporary apartments in Alameda, CA all come with luxurious amenities to suit the modern-day living. They have rooftop sundecks with waterfront views to offer residents a relaxing atmosphere. The pet friendlyapartments in Alameda also come with a state-of-the-art fitness center and yoga studio. The wifi lounge with workspace booths, butterfly package rooms, complimentary coffee bar, and clubroom with community kitchen are very attractive for those who want to socialize with other residents. The onsite maintenance and management of these Bay area apartments Alameda also ensure quick response in case residents encounter any issue with their pet friendly apartments in Alameda.

Alameda, CA

Alameda is a moderately-sized city in California that offers an urban suburban feel. Most of the residents come from varied ethnic background. While the cost of living is high, the median household income compensates for this. At $83,000 annual income, this is 50% higher compared with other US cities. For families with children, the educational system in the city is another attractive option. There are also several recreational venues that are kid-friendly. If want a sunny weather, Alameda is also a good place to live. With more sunny days, you can enjoy outdoor activities year round. Overall, living in Alameda means experiencing the best of what the modern world can give.

Downtown Alameda

If you want to experience Alameda in one seating, you should go to Downtown Alameda. This is a commercial, historical, and cultural center of the city boasting over 450 shops. It is conveniently located near San Francisco Bay area and only 10 minutes from the Oakland International Airport. Visitors love the old fashioned architecture and you can just walk along the street lined with restaurants, cafes, and shopping boutiques. Because it gives you the local feel, you will be able to experience how people live, work, and play in this district. You will need to allot 2-3 hours in this urban environment to fully enjoy all its attractions.

Update on Alameda’s District Attorney Race

Terry Wiley is winning the race for the Alameda County Chief Deputy District Attorney. Wiley is leading by more than 5000 votes against his contender Pamela Price. While mail-in ballots are still being counted, it seems clear that the Black American man got the favor of the majority of voters. Wiley is a veteran prosecutor and endorsed by outgoing district attorney, Nancy O’Malley who did not seek re-election. On the other hand, Pamela Price has no prosecutorial experience but a seasoned civil rights attorney. The election is historic regardless of who will win since the winner will be the first Black district attorney in the county.

Link to Map

Driving Direction

Downtown Alameda Business Assoc.

2447 Santa Clara Ave #302, Alameda, CA 94501, United States

Head northwest on Santa Clara Ave toward Park Ave

1.0 mi

Turn right onto Grand St

0.3 mi

Turn left onto Eagle Ave

276 ft

Turn right onto Hibbard St

344 ft

Hibbard St turns left and becomes Clement Ave

Destination will be on the left

0.3 mi

Alta Star Harbor

1518 Clement Ave,

Alameda, CA 94501

#Bay area apartments Alameda #townhouse for rent in Alameda #contemporary apartments in Alameda CA

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cotty14u · 26 days ago

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"EARLY MORNING OPEN HOUSE" Riverbend #79 Sat. 10/19 10:30-1:30PM

#79.

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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 2 years ago

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15 fe bru ar y 2023 Wednesday 2:23 am pdt

Incubus is mean enough to lie about children. He made me think gio is my daughter & the new born is my son. I think I have been burning up too hot all last year to probably be able to conceive. 2:25 am pdt I just can’t believe anymore. Did anyone else see gio’s baby reel of her crying when they turn off Adam’s music? Did it first look blue then it looked brown? Her eyes? I don’t believe 2 blue eyed or green (brain pain 🧠 cutting I don’t like the way they cut it 😖😭🥵😱😰😞I don’t know if it got cut off! Chopped off!! 😭😰😱2:29 am pdt) they cannot make brown eyes 👀. If you have painted 🎨 you know you need an extra color to mix in to get brown. 2:31 pmpdt b4 news 📰 of the baby 👶 welcoming they made me hear 👂 a baby 👶 cry 😭 (hunger 2:32 am pdt) & yesterday & day b4 made me smell 👃 like baby poop 💩 & diapers. They’re really BAD. When I barricaded the bedroom 🛌 door 🚪 last year Bcz I got distressed? At how they were hurting me? I think? They played a baby crying sound in my head to make me think gio was crying & wanted 2 see me. 2:35 am pdt he did this also by showing a black haired little girl laying lazily tired 😴 in the sand at the 🏖 beach as if she was tired Bcz she was up all night visiting me. 2:37 am pdt I don’t believe them (head pain 2:38 am pdt) anymore. They’d say & do anything to make me believe them. I can’t stand ‘em. 2:38 am pdt

2:46 am pdt 2:47 incubus attacked my intestines? Or flesh area (neeart autocorrect nearby beware authorities 2:49 am pdt are u saying police 👮‍♀️ are here? Probably same police 👮‍♀️ who said Sierra LaMar s account was hacked/hoax asking for help In Saratoga? They liars 🤥 those police 👮‍♀️ are I bet 2:51 am pdt I bet they’re kidnappers 2:51 am pdt & car 🚗 thiefs)

2:55 am pdt 🤯wow I found an article back dated to April 19 2012 about the hoax I never found b4 saying they traced it to the Philippines 🇵🇭???? I skimmed it. Mayb I should look at that again. & something about “by the way, we do punch” ??? I need to look at that again nbc. I need to write the url Bcz I looked at a lot of articles & I think I would have recalled such a bizarre article b4. Wow. Must be the real kidnapper hacking nbc. That’s weird. 2:58 am pdt

3:02 am pdt https://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/detectives-seek-to-find

-Sierra-lamars-hoax-tweeter/1944744/

3:04 am pdt

4:13 am pdt they’re incubus being extra jerks again. Extra extra. They make me cry 😭 & then they manipulate me. Flip flop 🩴. Mean, then flip to manipulate me using love 💕 💗such as a baby 👶 cry, Etc. 😖😭incubus put hard painful balls of air coming up my throat when I try to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ in, even though I have to cough b4 I can breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ after they burn 🔥 me. 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵🤬😫😖😭😖😭😖😭😖😭😵😵😵😵 4:18 am pdt

4:50 am pdt I don’t believe in the walking 🚶🏿‍♀️ through fire 🔥 & surviving. It might be a mirage at best 😱😰.

4:52 am pdt I guess people are afraid to help me Bcz of ghost 👻 ship 🚢 fire 🔥 in Oakland December 2, 2016. A david died, uc Berkeley graduate 👨‍🎓 I think double major? I remember 2 guys names caught my attention but I don’t remember exactly anymore. Incubus has burned my skin so it looks sunburned. Any hotter & I will be gone/dead. 4:55 am pdt David = dowd = Susan boyles. I guess it is a threat to me. 4:56 am pdt one of the guys was a brother of an aqauintance I met @ uc Berkeley. 4:57 am pdt I don’t think 🤔 they would have known anything but who knows, maybe they did. 4:57 am pdt & incubus killed them off as a warning ⚠️ to me. Warning ⛔️ wore I think I looked it up last year or the year b4 & saw it used to address ? sailboats ⛵️ ... apart of original family name. Peter Pan ride at Disney land was my favorite ride when I was a kid. 5 am pdt I don’t recall what abba means when I first looked it up but that was part of the name (right side too hot 🥵 nauseas b4 writing felt acid 2xs this morning touch inches at a time of intestinal wall. 😱😰😞😖😭😤🥵😤🥵🤬 I don’t like them they’re all conceited jerks 5:03 am pdt) of the yeshua who was forgiven & allowed to live even though he murdered people & was violent while yeshua son of Joseph was crucified that’s what I read online. 5:04 am pdt listening 👂 to something random my mom picked from online. 5:05 am pdt

5:15 am pdt the spikes feel too big wide. Reminds me of tenderizer meat 🥩 hammer 🔨 into my brain 🧠. They hurt what’s in the inside Bcz it’s more destructive. More death ☠️. 5:17 am pdt

they set up a pattern of lying 🤥 to me flip flopping to normalize it & to accept it. It buys them time for false promises. It is deception. They should not be trusted. Not trustworthy . I don’t trust them. They’re dead? ☠️ found dead bodies right? 5:20 am pdt

5:22 am pdt they rely on my naïveté? Naïve ness to trick me. They want me to believe they rescued them from the fire 🔥 5:23

5:24 am pdt brain 🧠 hot 🥵 they really are sacrificing me. This economy is evil 🦹‍♀️ & will continue to be evil after I’m dead. Rape & murder & torture will continue for the masses all 8 billion. 5:35 yyoutr all wicked evil fucks. 5:25 am pdt

5:35 am pdt Jesus was said to be sacrificial lamb 🐑. Are lambs gentle? Gentlemen? So some stuff is fake news 📰 theme saying otherwise but he’s a lunatic for believing goodwill save him? Even though he put him prob through hardship being a carpenter & having to hide himself from baby killers like herod. Lived in poverty & probably chaste? Pious? What does pious mean? Life growing up w/ Virgin Mary & churchy? Saintly? Grandparents & parents? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ still need to read more! 5:39 am pdt you sacrifice lambs & keep the bad for 2000++++++ years? Humans around for how long? 70000 years???? 5:39 am pdt I don’t get it. He wants to burn my brain now cuz he labels this as haughty Bcz he wants most of us to be satisfied with less nearly povert level living torture abused existence 5:40 am pdt he doesn’t want anyone to be smart enough to know what’s happening is all wrong? But some people do know it’s all wrong & do stuf anyway such as child rape! 5:41 am pdt justify it now! Tell me why now! 11 years old! Masturbating next to elementary school caught b4 it happened! Rape of a 14 year old!!!! Ignored by society!!!!! That means doctors 🥼 are guilty? 5:43 greedy fucks?????? Burning 🔥 hip right side. I warned my cousin when she was 9 years old to watch out for “confused adults.” Some people become confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ & easily manipulated by the devil. Some people are the devil 😈. 5:46 am pdt

7:55 am pdt had heart ♥️ pain minutes ago. Ok big reveal biggest reveals that I’m a sum bag dirty cheat greedy whatever: I once tried to get my sister to agree to a bad deal when we were elementary school aged? I remember it was at a person s house that I played w/ Barbie dolls ... & across the street from this house b4 fourth grade photos I fell from the tallest bar attempting to do a cherry 🍒 drop (brain pain 😖😭😤🥵 7:59 am pdt) but failed! It was probably sometime after this that I wanted to play with some specific pieces of LEGO’s . That’s right, LEGO’s! I wanted to see what I could build with this pieces so I tried to make a deal, u can play w/ those pieces & I can play w/ these & then tomorrow we will switch. But I probably had bad intentions of hogging all the pieces the next day. I don’t remember, I feel like that was in my head. Somehow I think she figured out it was a bad deal immediately and said “i don’t care” I guess I’m a mean kid Bcz I think what I did next made her cry. Maybe I took the pieces forcefully 😓 then the lady who was watching us called me a “pig.” & I don’t think I did it again. I feel like there were a lot of times I was greedy with toys 🧸. Although I think I have memories of also being nice. I feel greedy. & mean. Once we did cooperate b4 my parents separated & built a woman’s restroom out of tinker toys 🧸 that was supposed to kick 🦵 out men. 8:07 am pdt we did not know about cross dressers & transsexuals then. 8:07 am pdt we played dolls & video games together & watched cartoons together. & when inspector gadget came on we hid behind the couch 🛋 together to pop out & surprise dad when he came home. 🏠 maybe I am bad. 8:11 am pdt I guess I did it the wrong way. I wonder 💭 how Ivanka trump managed to take the whole set of LEGO’s to build a tower w/ press on nail glue. She didn’t upset her siblings when she did it? I guess maybe they had more than one set so she didn’t have to fight over anything with them. 8:13 am pdt I should have never made my sister cry. Happy? Karma for not letting her borrow my if (identification 8:16 am pdt) card is I lost it ≈2020. 8:13 am pdt

9:44 am pdt I think I omitted a detail: LEGO’s pieces I was going to let her use were not very good pieces small type probably trying to remember. 😓😬 9:46 am pdt

9:56 am pdt Instagram suspended my account again. I don’t know why 🤷🏻‍♀️

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shewritestheblues · 4 years ago

Text

The Elevator Bae x Chapter 5

Chapter FIVE

Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)

----------------

Phoenix checks her phone. It’s a little after midnight. She has a few notifications from her social media but nothing important. This is her third day in a row that she’s been in the studio. She hadn’t been home except to sleep and shower and she’d be right back in the studio. Thank God for DoorDash because leaving for food was out of the question. All she could do was make music. Trap, R&B, Soul… she was making some of the best music she’s ever created. This was the most she’s used her own voice to sing on some tracks.

Her and Coby were currently working on their fourth song of the night. As Phoenix sings along to the beat, it feels like the base is moving chills through her soul. It takes her over and she does something she’s never done before. She opens Instagram, swiping right. Her tired, yet satisfied face pops up on the camera. Holding the screen to record, she lets her voice ring out. Without a care that maybe someone would disapprove. She didn’t even bother to listen back. She posted the video on her story and got back to work.

Whenever she would get stuck writing, her mind would wander off to her last moments with Erik. Their talk, their small moments of touching, that feeling, the look in his eye. He would be just what she needed to find the words needed to make her music. Coby would add a few bars in and Phoenix took note every time. She was waiting until she had used all of her inspiration to ask him about her best friend.

As the night continued and more music is being made, Phoenix saved a few songs to keep just for her. She wasn’t sure just yet what she’d do with them but she felt way too connected to them to send them to some other artist to sing. Anything else was fair game. She let one song play. It wasn’t one she’d keep but she still liked it. She played it on repeat trying to figure out who she could picture singing it.

“Yo, you know who would do right by this?” Coby asked. He leaned back, sitting on the table that sat next to Phoenix. She was so into the song, she didn’t notice he had moved from his seat on the other side of her. She stops the song, relaxing into her chair.

“Who?”

“LaShay. The one with the purple hair.”

“Yeah, I like her. She’s out of Atlanta right?”

“Yup. I’m cool with her manager. I could send it to them and see what they think.”

“Cool.” Phoenix hit play on the song again. Just listening and trying to picture the new singer’s voice. A thought hit her. Her and Coby make some amazing music together. They have never made something that flopped. Every song, every beat was always a hit.

“Coby,” she stops the music, turning her chair to him. “Have you noticed that whenever we work together, we don’t miss? Like we both have made some shit songs on some solo shit, but together, it’s always good.”

He definitely noticed. “Yeah. We’re like a dynamic duo or some shit like that. It’s funny you mention this because I was just talking to Ava about how I think we could become like a producing team. Me and You.”

JACKPOT! Phoenix’s smile grew at the sound of her best friend’s name. he brought her up so this was her moment to ask him about it.

“We could definitely pull that off. We could have a cool ass name too, like--- Or like-- Okay, I can’t think of nothing right now but we can put a pin in that. What we can talk about is Ava.”

“Oh my God, Philly! Don’t do this.” He walks over to get water from the mini fridge and sitting back in her chair on the side of her.

“We’re doing this. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What was there to tell?”

“Umm, I don’t know Coby. Maybe tell me that you like my best friend and that y’all are hanging out.” She makes quotes with her fingers.

“I’m sorry, Phoenix. I’ve been hanging out with your best friend.” he says very sarcastically.

“You are such an ass.” He shrugs. “I don’t care to know about those other girls you mess with but Ava.. that’s my girl. You know how I feel about her.”

“Yeah, I do. Which is why I was trying to wait to tell you. I already knew you were gonna be on ten about it. I wanted to see how serious this was going to be.”

“Serious? So wait, like y’all are dating, dating?”

“To me, we are. I mean, we’re still getting to know each other but so far, I like what I know.”

Phoenix squeals, pinching at Coby’s arms. Coby shakes his head, trying to hide the small smile on his lips.

---------

Erik sits in his office, staring at the book in front of him. It was his father’s book. He studied this book, front to back. He sat here, doing it again for the second time this night. He moved the ring on his necklace around his finger as he read. His breathing picked up and he could feel his anger rising quickly as he sat there. His thoughts taking him back to the very day he saw the bright lights in the sky. The day he ran upstairs to find his father dead. That day was why he is who he is today. Everything he’s done up to the point and going forward was because of that day and because of who he KNEW killed his father. It’s not everyday that someone is killed with panther claws in Oakland. He knew. Never speaking of that day with anyone. He silently planned how he would handle it.

He slammed his fist on the desk, pushing the book on the floor. Breathing heavy, he got up and headed into the kitchen. He drank a bottle of water in what seemed like one gulp. He needed air. Stepping out onto his balcony, he sat in one of the black, cushion chairs. They were modern rocking chairs and the motion of the chair moving back and forth as he closed his eyes, soothed him for the moment. The breeze hitting is bare chest cooled his hot blood. The small sounds of the night life filling the air. He rocked and rocked, until his phone buzzed in the pocket of his joggers. An unknown number texted him.

Unknown: Next Tuesday two weeks. Heading out 600hrs.

His jobs were becoming longer. Before he would be able to handle his work in a matter of days. Now, they were lasting a week and now two weeks.

With his phone now in hand, he absentmindedly goes to Instagram. At the very top of his screen, Phoenix’s profile picture glows red and orange. He taps to watch her story. He was expecting a cute picture or maybe even a boomerang, because damn that girl loves making boomerangs. But his eyes caught her in all black, her face so clear in the video as she sings. This was a few hours ago. The next part of her story was, of course, a boomerang. She was sticking her tongue out as Coby laid back against her chest, not paying any attention to the camera. Erik bit his lip and tapped the screen to go on to the next story. He couldn’t identify the slight tightness of his chest when he watched the short video. Was this jealousy? Why did this nigga have to be all up on her like that? Why was this even bothering him? Phoenix wasn’t his girl. They were just scratching the surface as neighbor friends. Erik wasn’t too familiar with jealousy. He never cared what the women he involved himself with were doing after him. He took what he wanted and that was that. There were never any feelings left for him to feel. Maybe that one time in high school, his crush had a crush on someone else but that only lasted a few hours because he found himself having sex with her friend by the end of the day. This was a new one for him and he wasn’t trying to feel that shit again.

He put his phone away, going back inside his place. Sleep wasn’t on the menu but he needed it. He took two melatonin pills and made himself get the rest he needed.

-------

The bright clock sitting in the studio read 3:45. Cobi and Phoenix were wrapping up their session. Phoenix sat on top of the large speaker, swinging her feet.

“Are you coming out to Camren’s birthday party?” she asked Coby.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Are you coming with Ava?”

Coby cuts his eye at her, catching her making kissing faces.

“See, this is why I didn’t tell you anything. But NO! Y’all coming with Ava.”

Phoenix jumps off the speaker and gathers her backpack and making sure she has everything. “Will you be coming to my show Sunday?”

“Didn’t know you had one. Where is it?”

“It’s at X again. I guess they loved me that much.” Phoenix follows Coby out of the studio, closing the door behind her.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. You know I got you,” He puts his arm around her shoulder, walking her out to her car. “You make sure you text me when you get in.”

“Okay. Night.”

He closes her car door and makes sure she’s good before getting into his own car. Being so late, Phoenix was able to get home in record time since there’s no one on the road. 15 minutes to be exact. When she made it into her apartment, she wasn’t sleepy at all. It’s after 4 am and she wasn’t sure what to do with herself. She scrolled up Instagram, she couldn’t find any interesting YouTube videos to watch. She was just up and bored. Well, until she thought about what she was going to wear for Camren’s party. She searched through her closet but she wasn’t focused on that at all. Her mind wandered to thinking about her hair. She looked at herself in her full length bedroom mirror at her curly ponytail. It’s been three days since she last touched her hair. She’s been sporting this pony under a dad hat since the night her and Erik went to the studio. She forgot to put on her scarf that night and woke up to dry, matted curls but refused to do anything to them.

What if I straightened it? She thought. It had been over a year since the last time she’s put any heat on it. Her curls had grew long and she was definitely curious on how it looked straight now. That’s what she was going to do. She headed to the bathroom, turning on the shower. She finally set her hair free of the ponytail and got in. She washed and conditioned her hair. She left the conditioner in while she washed her body and got out. She put on some fresh clothes before rinsing the conditioner from her hair. Now it’s time for the toughest part of straightening her hair… blow drying it. Having so much hair and it being so thick, Phoenix had to part her hair into six sections to properly spray her heat protectant in and fully blow dry her hair. This alone took an hour.

The sun was coming up now and Phoenix’s arms were ready to fall off. She still had to actually flat iron her hair. The went out to the kitchen to get some water and a few Oreos to push herself to finish. Coming back into the bathroom, she looked at her wild hair in the mirror and smiled. “We’ve come a long way hair.” She picks up her phone and takes a picture. She sends it to her friends group chat. ‘Ya girl got inches.”

She swings her hair around, dancing in the mirror, practicing what twerking would be like with her hair swinging around. She had to admit to herself how goofy she looked doing this. Once getting that out of her system, she finally began flat ironing her hair. It didn’t take as long as she thought it would. About another 45 minutes. Phoenix wrapped her hair as best as she could. It’s been over a year so her hair wasn’t really having it with her trying to comb it into a circle. But she combed and combed until she ended up with her head tilted to the side and using her whole left arm to hold most of it down. She used her right hand and front teeth to hold her scarf in place so she could slip her left hand from its secured spot and tie it around her head.

Finally getting that done, it was now well into the morning and her phone was barely surviving on 1%. She did her face routine and headed into her bedroom. Putting her phone on charge on her nightstand and climbing into bed. She laid in the middle of her six pillows and her casper mattress seem to engulf her body. This was heaven. She curled up under her thick comforter and rubbed her feet in bliss. Within minutes, sleep had taken over her.

-------

Phoenix is woken up by the sounds of construction outside. At the same time, her phone starts to ring. It’s Mica.

“Hello.” Phoenix says into the phone. Her voice is raspy and low.

“I know you’re not still sleep.” Mica’s voice sounds like she’s standing on top of phoenix.

“I’m up. I just got up.”

“What time are you going to pick up the cake?”

“Damn it!” Phoenix sits up, rubbing her face. “It’s supposed to be ready at 4.”

“You know it’s 3 o’clock right?”

“No, it’s not,” she takes the phone from her face, looking at the time. It’s for sure 3 o’clock. “Oh, it is. Shit! Okay, I'm gonna leave out now.”

“Okay. Just take it to the restaurant. Don’t worry about anything else. Me and Ava got it. I know you probably got in late. I want you to have enough time to get ready.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, dinner starts at 8. We’ll be there around 7 to pick you up.”

“Okay. I’ll text you when I got the cake.”

“Okay.”

Phoenix ends the call and jumps up from her bed. She changes into some leggings and a cropped t-shirt, completely forgetting her scarf on her head. She rushes out and magically the elevator was just opening, letting someone off on her floor. She gets in, hitting the garage button. The cabin stops and she rushes out, getting into her car and driving out.

Traffic is ridiculous as she tries to get to the bakery. Her patience is running thin and the feeling of having to rush is triggering her anxiety. Phoenix has been doing well for months with managing her anxiety. She has learned ways to keep herself calm but moments like this where she isn’t able to grasp some type of control over how things are going for her, she doesn’t do well. One second she’s hot as hell and turns her air on blast and the next minute, she’s freezing.

She been in traffic for 3o minutes, but the bakery is only 20 minutes from her apartment. Just when she thought she had come to terms with LA’s traffic, she realizes, she never will. She can feel the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Her palms are sweaty. Phoenix doesn’t want to be the reason that tonight is a fail. But she can’t help but think that she will. Her thoughts are moving a million miles a minute. She should have set an alarm. She shouldn’t have stayed at the studio that long. If things don’t go right, Camren will hate her. Phoenix takes a few deep breaths. “Relax, Phoenix, relax.” she says to herself.

Traffic began moving a little bit faster and Phoenix could finally catch her breath. She made her way to the bakery and picked up the cake without any more issues. Thankfully, Phoenix knew a back way to the restaurant to drop the cake off.

------

Ava and Mica did their best to keep Camren out of the loop by having her girlfriend, Tiana, take her out for a spa day. Camren kept texting the group chat asking questions. What are yall up to? What are we doing tonight?

Phoenix, Ava and Mica all ignored her, keeping the plans for the night in a separate text.

Ava and Mica were at the restaurant setting up decorations when Phoenix walked in with the cake. Phoenix let the hostess know she’s there to drop off the cake for later. The hostess took the cake in the back and Phoenix lead herself up to the rooftop where the dinner will take place. Walking up the stairs, she could hear Ava and Mica laughing.

“What y’all up here laughing about?” she yells, catching their attention.

“Phillyyyy!” Mica sings, walking up to her and hugging her. They rock back and forth before Ava yells out. “Cut the lovey dovey shit and help us finish so we can all go get ready.”

“Damn girl, you literally rolled out of bed didn’t you?” Mica pointed to Phoenix’s scarf.

“Yeah. I forgot I was wearing it.”

“I can’t believe you straightened it.”

“IF Y’ALL DON’T BRING Y’ALL ASS!” Ava yelled out.

An extra set of hands helped get the decorations done quick with enough time for the three of them to have time to get ready.

Phoenix made her way home. She came in and immediately connect her phone to her bluetooth speaker. Music blast through her apartment as she went into the bathroom and started the shower. She raps along to Flo Milli’s x Beef as she undresses herself, stepping in the shower.

I like cash and my hair to my ass

Do the dash, can you make it go fast?

Fuck the fame, all I want is them bands

If she keep on muggin', I'ma steal her man

She made her shower quick to make sure she didn’t sweat out her hair. She got out still singing along to her music. She covered her body in shea butter and danced around her her towel. She made her way into her room, going through her closet. Phoenix wasn’t feeling any of the items she had until she noticed a shopping bag on the floor, all the way in the back. Grabbing it, she pulled out an orange, latex dress. She had completely forgotten that she bought this dress months ago and it was perfect for tonight. She paired it with some clear, strappy heels. She struggled for a moment trying to get the dress to move over her thick thighs but being that she has had these thighs her whole life, she has a few stretches and tricks to get them to act right.

Ari Lennox - BMO starts playing on the speaker as Phoenix begins doing her makeup. She stops to sing her heart out in the mirror.

“Break me off

And gitchi gitchi yaya

When the lights is out

I'm summertime crushin' put that game on pause

And do it how I like it

Baby, nice and slow

Break me off--”

Her singing was cut short from her phone ringing. “Yo, who in the hell is this? Messing up my song.”

Picking up the phone, it’s Mica.

“Hello!” Phoenix barks into the phone.

“Damn, what’s wrong with you?”

“You calling me and interrupting my song.” she walks back into the bathroom to do her makeup, putting the phone on speaker.

“Well, excuse me. I was calling to tell your dusty ass we’re on our way.”

“Ya’ mama dusty.”

“Oh, bitch. I’m telling her that when I see her.”

“She won’t believe you.”

“Whatever,” Mica laughed. “You got 20 minutes. Be ready.”

“I’m doing my makeup now. I’ll be ready.”

“K.”

They hang up and BMO starts blasting through the speaker again. Phoenix moves her hips as she finishes her makeup. She didn’t do too much. A simple beat with mink lashes and a glossy, nude lip. She finished her look with some large, gold hoops, a few layed, gold necklaces and a gold watch. Satisfied with her final look, she unties her scarf, combing down her tresses. You could never go wrong with a middle part, so that’s what she did, pushing her hair behind her ears. Phoenix was more than feeling herself. She walked into her bedroom to get a full view of herself in her full length mirror… taking a few pictures of course.

Ava text her.

Ava: We’re pulling in the garage.

Phoenix: Coming down.

Phoenix puts her necessities into a small, nude clutch and heads out the door. She pushes the call button for the elevator and hums as she waits.

DING!

The doors slide open and standing before her is Erik Stevens. Phoenix couldn’t contain the smile on her face.

“Hey Erik.” she waves at him as she steps into the cabin.

He smiles and nods, “Sup, Philly,” he looked her up and down. Taking note of how the orange dress hugs her curves in all the right ways. “Damn.” slips from his slips. Phoenix pushes her hair back behind her ear, blushing at his reaction.

“You looking good tonight. You got a date or something?” he asked.

She looks up at him, “Thanks. But I wouldn’t wear this on a date though. It’s my friend’s birthday.”

“I wouldn’t mind you wearing that on a date.”

“Where could we go with me wearing this?”

Erik smiles at the thought of them going on a date. He shrugs, “A nice dinner or something.”

“You wanna take me out to a nice dinner, Stevens?”

“If you want me to.”

The elevator stops and the doors open. Erik motions for Phoenix to step out first. She does and her follows. There’s a Jeep Wrangler parked near the entrance of the garage with Ava and Mica waiting.

“You have a good night, Philly. Have fun.” Erik starts walking to his own car.

“Hey, Erik,” he stops and looks back to Phoenix. “Are you busy Sunday?”

He smiles at her and starts walking closer to her. “That depends. What’s going on, on Sunday?”

-----

Ava and Mica are watching from the truck. “Ain’t that Erik?” Mica asks.

“Yeah. What you think she just said, ‘cause you can see all this nigga teeth from across the street?”

“Shit, i don’t know. But we’re gonna find out when her ass get in this car.”

-----

Erik holds one hand in his other in front of him waiting for Phoenix’s answer. She tries to avoid making eye contact with him by looking around him and at the floor. “Well… I have a show Sunday night, if you would like to come. If you’re busy, you don’t have to worry about it. Just figured I’d ask--”

He cuts her off, “I’m free.” He holds his hand out and motions to her phone in her hand. She looks confused, looking at her phone and back at him. She gives it to him, not fully sure of what he’ll need it for.

“Unlock it.” he laughs, handing it back to her. She unlocks it and gives it back to him. He types in his number and saves it as ‘Erik😛’ and gives it back to her. “You can send me all of the details later.”

She looks down at his contact name, eyebrows raised. “Tongue out emoji?” she asks. She was curious.

“I have my reasons.” he licks his lips as Phoenix watches him. He smiles, showing off his golds.

Ava honking her horn, scares Phoenix. She almost jumped into Erik’s arms. Ava and Mica laugh hysterically at her reaction.

“That shit ain’t funny. Fuck y’all.” Phoenix holds her chest.

“I don’t wanna hold y’all up. Have fun, baby girl.”

Phoenix walks to the car cussing Ava out for her bullshit. “Y’all get on my damn nerve.”

They were still laughing as she got into the backseat of the Jeep. Ava starts the car and pulls around and as they pass Erik’s car, Mica rolls down her window, “Byeeeee, ERIK!”

He waves at them, laughing.

“You bitches are annoying.” But Phoenix had to admit, it was funny. She found herself laughing with them.

“You gave him your number didn’t you?” Ava looks back at Phoenix.

“Nope, he gave me his.”

“Wait… what happened?” Mica says turning her whole body to face Phoenix in the back.

Phoenix tried to hide her blush, covering her face with her hand, “I invited him to my show, Sunday.”

“BITCHHHH!!!” Ava and Mica screamed. “Just wait until Cam hear about this in the morning.”

Mica put on their ‘Hot Girl Summer’ playlist and they all rapped along as they set out on their way to pick up Camren and Tiana and make their way to Camren’s surprise dinner.

-----------------

#the elevator bae #erik x phoenix #shewritestheblues

37 notes · View notes

navarrotm · 4 years ago

Text

* . ◞ 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 , 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐨 . * .

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

full name: matías ( gift of god ) , sebastián ( mother’s brother’s name ) , fischer ( fisherman ) - navarro ( person from navarra , region in northern spain ) . legally changed his last name from his father’s to his mother’s maiden name , navarro , on his 18th birthday .

nickname(s): matty , navarro .

age: twenty - two .

date of birth: november 12 1998 .

birth chart : scorpio sun , aries moon , scorpio rising ( 💀 ) .

hometown: oakland , ca .

current location: chesterfield college ( location tbd ) .

ethnicity: spanish , german .

nationality: american .

gender: cisgender male .

pronouns: he , him , his .

orientation: heteroromantic , bicurious ( has never been with a man or non - binary person , but has a closeted intrigue about it ) .

religion: raised catholic , non - practicing . only attended church on religious holidays , yet still wears a cross necklace that belonged to his maternal grandfather .

political affiliation: democrat , left - wing , anarchistic tendencies .

occupation: literature & composition student , junior year . underground chesterfield college drug trade mastermind .

living arrangements: a small , on - campus studio flat , sponsored by his academic scholarship to chesterfield . overcluttered with books , cheap worn - out furniture , & a lack of personal items .

language(s) spoken: english ( fluent ) , spanish ( fluent ) , german ( novice ) , latin ( novice ) . learns languages for fun .

accent: west coast , spanish inflection on certain words .

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥

face claim: aron piper .

hair colour: black , fluctuates between longer curls & buzz cut .

eye colour: dark brown .

height: 6′1″ .

weight: 160 lbs .

build: thin , non - muscular .

tattoos: X , X , X , X X .

piercings: silver hoop in right ear , helix stud in left ear .

clothing style: click here for pinterest board .

usual expression: calm , disinterested , observant , thoughtful .

distinguishing characteristics: moles , stark tattoos against pale skin , long lashes .

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐡

physical ailments: none .

neurological conditions: undiagnosed adhd , undiagnosed mild depression , undiagnosed schizoid personality disorder .

allergies: none .

sleeping habits: goes to sleep late , usually gets 5 - 6 hours .

eating habits: ( tw eating disorder ) inconsistent eating habits , usually buys pre - made or microwave meals , puts hot sauce on everything , dislikes fruit , forgets to eat or replaces meals with coffee , then binges until overfull .

exercise habits: never intentionally exercises , walks or bikes everywhere .

emotional stability: very stoic & not easily emotionally - roused . emotionally detached , though fairly stable because of this .

sociability: does enjoy time spent with those he considers his inner circle , but can only withstand a few hours of socialization before becoming irritable & needs solitude to recharge . will choose to be alone over being in a group , unless he needs something from someone .

body temperature: extremities are cold to the touch for others , though he hardly ever feels cold himself .

addictions: none . contrary to popular belief , matias doesn’t use drugs , but will occasionally smoke a cigarette or drink wine if he feels like it .

drug use: none . occasional cigarette smoker .

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

label: the miscreant .

positive traits: fastidious , charismatic , highly intelligent , loyal , flexible , tenacious .

negative traits: self - focused , grandiose , all - or - nothing , individualistic , manipulative , reckless .

goals/desires: to own his own apartment in new york . to travel the world & visit historically - important sites in literature . puts more value on living in the present than on dreaming about the future .

fears: falling in love , rejection , becoming unable to be completely independent .

hobbies: cooking , reading , visiting museums , watching true crime documentaries & podcasts , tattoos .

habits: drinks at least 3 coffees a day , always submitting meticulously revised assignments early , stickler for grammar , always carries hand sanitizer , showers every morning & night , doesn’t use social media ( besides snapchat for rp purposes ) for fear of being tracked by the government , handwriting that is very small & neat , zones out in group settings & instead thinks about his favourite poetry or books , forgetting that his blatant honesty paired with stoicism is often read as passive aggression .

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬

weather: rain or fog .

colour: pale blue .

music: r&b , hip hop . favourite artists include frank ocean , the weeknd , the internet .

movies: documentaries , historical dramedies .

sport: none . he keeps track of the golden state warriors because they’re his father’s favourite team .

beverage: black coffee , seltzer .

food: carbonara , anything spicy .

animal: crows .

𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲

father: stefan fischer , 55 . public relations staff for the golden state warriors . matty was never close with his father , as his father was often traveling & matías was extremely shy .

mother: maritza fischer , 49 . stay at home mother . matías was closer with his mother than father , but still managed to slip through the cracks as the second - youngest in a chaotically - large family .

sibling(s): gael navarro ( 32 , half - sibling , divorced , mechanic ) ; paloma voland ( 28 , married , aesthetician ) ; francesca ‘ frankie ’ fischer ( 26 , single , currently in rehab ) ; alejandro ‘ alej ’ fischer ( 26 , engaged , construction worker ) ; jonas fischer ( 25 , single , gang member & aspiring rapper ) ; elena fischer ( 20 , single , student at san francisco state university studying education ) .

children: none . has 7 nieces & nephews .

pet(s): family’s pit bulls , rocky & hazel .

family’s financial status: low - middle income . they relied on their father’s salary as matías was growing up , which meant money was tight with seven children in a 3 - bedroom home .

𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐫𝐚

aesthetics : the deep - toned greens of a forest after a rainstorm , the scent of weed & overpriced cologne mixing into an alluring concoction , a wicked grin paired with honeyed - yet - empty words , old , yellowed books scattered around a nearly empty apartment , the sound of tires on a wet road , r & b music playing behind a closed door , scintillating dark eyes , ink - stained fingertips .

inspirations : rio ( nbc’s good girls ) , shane madej ( buzzfeed unsolved ) , grizz visser ( the society ) , klaus hargreeves ( umbrella academy ) , jj maybank ( outer banks ) .

mbti: intp - a .

enneagram: type 5 , 8w7

temperament: phlegmatic & choleric : 16 , melancholic : 6 , sanguine : 3 .

hogwarts house: ravenclaw or slytherin .

moral alignment: chaotic neutral .

#* . ◞ 𝐌. 𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐎 › 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 . * .

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rajproperties-blog · 1 year ago

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moshus-blog · 4 years ago

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Taking it back..Story of an East Bay Punk Grrrl.

It's been exactly 20 years and I am still very emotional over the whole thing. I am going to try and tell my story, to the best of my memory. My therapist said many of these memories have been repressed because it was absolutely abusive behavior, and I was so young. My Corbett story: How he quickly became my 'best friend'.

Technically I was 13 years old when I went to my first Gilman show. It was an early, all weekend showcase for SPAM records - Geekfest 1999. I met many folks there who are still my friends to this day. I met the owner of SPAM - Corbett. His band was headlining. He basically asked me what I was doing there and if I had a good time. He said he was stoked to see young folks get involved in the scene. He told me to come back and volunteer. It was exactly what I needed in my life at the time. A music oriented community. Sooner or later he invited me around SPAM records office when they first moved into East Oakland. I spent the next several years basically attached to this man's hip.

Helping the record label, going to shows, and basically hiding out at the office space. He had a partner at the time so I thought I was just part of the family. He and I talked on the phone when I was at my parents house. He walked me to and from BART. He called my mom to let her know I was in good hands and I was a huge help. He told her he would pay me what he could - and it was like a job. He would let me send emails and contact some of the folks that did distro for the label like Tobi Vail. He asked me to do it because he knew I loved Bikini Kill. He was so supportive, or so I thought. I honestly can't say I'd be the same person without him. But as time went on, things changed...and it got weird and very uneasy. Also changing me as a person.

I was never romantically or sexually attracted to Corbett so I thought it was OK. He had a girlfriend, I had a friend in him...until it became apparent to everyone around us he was obsessed with me (for lack of a better term). He gave me old pictures of himself from when he was a kid. He told me his life stories. He told me his dreams for SPAM and Bobby Joe. But as this went on, I felt like it was so weird for this way older man to have a real close '15 year old' bestie while having a relationship. It got weirder and weirder for me, but by this time I had made a circle of friends who quickly became my family. It was more or less brushed under the rug by myself.

I wanted to get out of my parents house, I wanted to be a part of something more. I knew this was my way out, and my new way of life. Fast forward to looking for the SPAM warehouse (now I am 16). I helped him find a space to rent. It was a proud and exciting moment for us all. Corbett moved into a small room above the practice rooms in the warehouse. It was loud during the day, and his health was declining (Drugs? Alcohol? Mental illness? Unsure). His teeth were rotting, he was vomiting frequently - I always thought he was sneaking drugs, but something was else off. He would take 1 hit of pot and his eyes would go crooked. He stopped making sense. His emotions were out of control. I did a lot of research and concluded his melatonin levels were so low so drugs or alcohol of any kind would turn him into a babbling cross eyed frenzy. I was unsure what it was exactly, but I was highly cautious of him at this point.

I finally moved into the warehouse. He borrowed a van, packed up my things from my parents house, and drove me to East Oakland. He couldn't afford his rent, so I took over the small room above the practice spaces. I thought it was helping him and the space. But people were mad at me about it. They thought I was taking advantage of him. It was awkward because they were basically my roommates. I was too young to know any better. I just wanted to get out - and again, he told me I was helping him and not to listen to anyone else. He stayed on the couch right outside of the room. His emotions/actions got crazier and crazier. One night, he half shaved his head, walked to the overpass over the Oakland freeway, threw his new cell phone over, came back and started screaming. Babbling. Incoherent. I was by "my room" and he was down the hallway. He gave me a strange look and charged at me like a bull. I don't exactly remember what happened, but my body ended up against a wall (I think I was thrown off my feet). 3 large folks had to subdue him and hold him down. I ran and hid in a bedroom downstairs for hours until he found me.

I realized without his words - he wanted to be with me and he knew I never, ever would. The age difference was enough to make it unrealistic. It started to feel very dangerous. When I dated other guys, he got jealous. I realized he couldn't handle me being around at all. The whole thing was a horrible idea in retrospect, and I blamed myself - as my 'roommates' also blamed me. The folks I dated felt uncomfortable around him, and that I was so close with him. I should have listened.

I moved out within the month to SF. He moved with his family to get better. He was mad at me the entire time. He yelled at me over the phone, screaming. He wrote me long letters (I might even still have one or two). He professed his love for me and then quickly started dating someone from around where he was staying. I thought the heat was finally off of me. They moved into an apartment on Telegraph months later. He threw a party and decided to invite me. I thought it would be fine since he had a girlfriend. "Maybe we can make amends" I thought. We started hanging out again. He apologized for everything. He said he was a changed and sober man. They broke up and she moved back home. I didn't realize until later, but it was because we were friends again. She even felt weird about it. But I think a huge part of me felt sorry for him - and he was ultimately like family.

At age 16/17, I got a job on Telegraph in Berkeley, and he said I could go to his house so I didn't have to commute from SF, if I needed to. I was there often enough, but I still felt weird about it. THIS is where my memory gets foggy. I have faint memories of me waking up with him on top of me. I honestly do not remember what happened before or after. All I remember is no lights were on, the sun was going down, it was so dark, and I ran like a bat out of hell, straight to BART/SF. After that, I broke off all contact with him. He turned into that big ball of rage all over again. Yelled at me over the phone, calling me over and over just to scream at me. He said he could not handle me not wanting to 'be' with him. I stopped answering my phone. I quit my job on Telegraph and stayed in SF for several years. I wrote him off forever.

I cannot help but think he took advantage of me. He primed me. It extremely affected who I was and how I had friendships and relationships with men. He knew I had a rocky relationship with my parents, and he took full advantage of it.

I didn't want it to happen the way it did. I didn't want to admit he was priming/preying on me. I recently found out he had done the same thing with other women, all under the age of 18 at the time. I've told a very similar story to that group about 2 years ago, but it was in a vacuum.

He needs to apologize to his victims. He needs to admit and he and his friends were wrong.

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