#2am for me and pathetically enough I might still be awake and working to catch it

[alienssstufff]

2pm EST incredible news everybody 😏

[nervous-ninja]

Untitled (for now)

Kind of a part one of a one-shot. The second part of this is currently locked on a bricked coputer that I am hoping to be able to recover before I start rewriting it. 

Forgive me, I have not written like this in a long time. This is entirely for fun so not to be taken too seriously. 

Mew was trying for very hard to convince himself everything was fine. It wasn’t fine. 

“Cut!” Pique, the director, called out. “Again please.”

Another take. Mew took a deep breath and exhaled slowly though his nose. The scene that should have easily been done in two takes had somehow dragged into double digits. There wasn’t anything complicated or difficult about it. A short and simple shot of Tharn and Type at home in the evening. Type was supposed hold Tharn’s face, “I missed you” he would say, then cue a kiss. Nothing overly intense or complicated. A scene of domesticity punctuated by a kiss to communicate the particular sense of comfort and familiarity, the way messy and clumsy passions of early relationships ebb into something more deeply rooted, familiar, uncomplicated….

“Goddamnit!” Gulf cursed and let go of Mew’s face.

“Cut!” The director called again and an audible collective grunt of frustration resounded through the set. “OK everyone, let’s take five.”

Gulf slumped over, his face buried in his hands to muffle a flurry of mild curses, his right leg rapidly tapping the ground.

“Hey…Nong” Mew began, instinctively reaching a hand to rest on Gulf’s back, but his next words stuck in his throat as Gulf recoiled from him and abruptly stood up.  Without thinking Mew grabbed his wrist. “Gulf!” he exclaimed, his voice a lot louder than he meant it to be.

The younger man hesitated. He stared at Mew’s hand on his wrist as if at some strange animal. It occurred to Mew then that the whole set had gone quiet and were conspicuously avoiding looking in their directions.  “Let go please, Phi” Gulf said stiffly without meeting Mew’s eyes. His tone so uncharacteristically cold that Mew, startled, complied. He watched wide eyed as Gulf stormed off towards Mame and Pique. 

---

For three days Mew tried to convince himself there was nothing wrong and that he simply needed to stop overthinking things. When Gulf’s responses to his LINE messages became unusually short and perfunctory, single word answers, punctuated by long, painful waiting for any reply at all that sent Mew’s stomach into knots, Mew told himself it was fine. They were busy after all. Busier than they had ever been. More and more they were each branching out on their own. Between that and the shooting starting for season 2 they barely had time to catch their break. Mew himself had been more tired than usual. That’s all it was. It had to be.

When every call made went to voicemail and every attempt to do a video chat was rejected with a polite reason through text, like:

-- Sorry Phi, still at dance practice; Sorry Phi, dinner with family; Sorry Phi, need to sleep -- Mew told himself these were all perfectly reasonable excuses. Reasons, rather. They were very good reasons.

Don’t overthink it, he told himself again and again, even as found it harderand harder to eat. You know him. You trust him. He kept reminding himself as he compulsively shut down and restarting his LINE app just in case.

If something was wrong he would tell you. He tried to convince himself even as the lump in his throat became a rock in his chest and kept him awake and tossing into early hours of the morning.  

Calm down. He urged himself even as he rewound days and weeks in his head looking for clues to what he might have done to cause this. Terrified he missed something crucial. Terrified he messed up...again. Three whole days of this.

Last night as he lay awake at 2am he tried to convince himself it would all be fine. It was just that they hadn’t seen each other in far longer than any other time since they start their roles as Tharn and Type. He missed Gulf. He was looking forward to the next few days of shooting. They were scheduled to be on set together the whole time.  Once they saw each other finally things would be like before.  He couldn’t wait to fall back into their familiar patterns: their teasing and laughter, the way they always knew what the other was thinking with a single look, the easy way they fell into and around each other and how those moments felt like home. There were other things he looked forward to, things he often stopped short of dwelling on because these thoughts lead to rooms in Mews heart he wasn’t strong enough to go looking in, like:

The way they sometime abandoned themselves to their roles until the roles just became convenient excuses for….

Gulf’s over eager, hungry kisses that Mew relished and reigned in with reluctance before he lost himself completely and….

The way his Nong shyly broke eye contact after an intimate scene because the feeling overwhelmed him and it was all Mew could do not to…

He shook his head to clear it.

It was nearly 4 am by the time he finally fell asleep. Though calling what he did sleep would be somewhat generous.

In the morning Mew dragged himself to set. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this tired. For a moment he thought only of finding Gulf and taking him into his arms. This eagerness was quickly replaced by dread when he finally found him, but instead of coming to meet him, Gulf turned around and walked out of the room. 

When they were finally all but forced to be face to face because that is what the scene called for, Gulf greeted Mew with all the warmth one might show a store clerk. Yet still, Mew told himself that he was reading too much into things.  He tried to ignore the way his head ached, and his jaw tightened and his heart lurched when Gulf stiffened the first time Mew tried to touch him. 

Whatever flimsy wall of denial Mew had tried so desperately to build up till now had crumbled into a pathetic heap as pulled away from him with again.

 Something was wrong. Undeniably, unmistakably wrong.

“Wait!” Mew shot up and quickly closed the distance between them, interrupting the conversation Gulf was having with the director and Mame. He saw them both notice the way Gulf stepped back from him when he came close and it was all he could do not to panic. “Um, can you give us a second?” He asked politely of the two seniors.

“Will you tell me what the hell is going on?” Mew demanded, as soon as he felt they were out of earshot. The pleading in his own voice surprised him. “Would you look at me, please?” he added, fighting to restrain the tremor in his voice as he fought the muscle memory to reach out to him. 

Finally Gulf raised his eyes and for a moment Mew thought he saw Gulf’s face soften before he seemed to recover himself.  

“Nothing is going on. I asked if I can have a few minutes with the acting coach.” Gulf replied with feigned ease. Then, as if remembering, “You did great today.” he added and made such a poor attempt at a casual smile that Mew would have laughed if it hadn’t felt like a punch to the gut to realise Gulf, his Gulf, was lying to him. Mew opened his mouth to speak but could find now words.  Before Mew could protest, Gulf turned and walked off the set.

“Mew?”

It was P’Mame. She looked concerned.

“You ok?” She asked “I’ve been calling your name.” She said. “You’ve just been…standing there for a solid minute.” She added carefully. 

“Oh. Sorry. Yes I’m fine.” Mew gave a quick bow. “What’s going on?”

“Did N’Gulf tell you already?” She asked.

“Tell me what?” Mew asked, running a shaky hand through his hair. He was beginning to be very tired of being confused.

“We are not going to do any more takes of this scene today. He asked if we could shoot this one tomorrow.” She glanced at her watch “Since we don’t have a lot of time left today for anything else, P’Pique wants to do a few pickup shots of you from Scene 14. Is that alright?”

Mew looked at her for a moment, his mind turning over the last few minutes, waiting any of this to make sense and for the rushing pounding of blood in his ears to subside.

“N’Mew? Are you sure you’re ok?” She asked gently, putting a hand on his arm.

“Yes. Fine. Of course.” Mew stuttered a reply.  

When Mame narrowed her eyes at him and did not let go he tried again. 

“I’m fine. Really. Just…you know…. “ He trailed off hoping she would fill in the blanks and flashed what he hoped was a reassuring smile. He couldn’t be sure, but her expression suggested that whatever he looked like, reassuring was far from it. 

“Really. Just tired.” He said awkwardly. “I’ll go change now.”

“OK. One of the PAs will get you in five minutes for makeup.” She said, resigned.

Mew was grateful that these were only pick up shots. He tried to focus on the work and fought the urge to keep looking around or checking his phone every chance he got. Gulf never came back on set. As soon as Pique called it a day Mew catapulted off, rushing through his thank you’s, apologies and goodnights. He caught one of the PAs as she rushed passed him.

“Excuse me, Phi. Did N’Gulf go back already?” he asked her.

“I don’t think so. He was back there with P’Mame watching the dailies last I checked” She replied,nodding in the direction of the editing room. When Mew got there, the room was empty. 

There were no messages from Gulf and for a moment Mew reached for anger to try and dull the ache that was quickly becoming too steady in his chest. It hurt less to be angry. It worked for only a moment. When he saw no sign of Gulf’s things in the dressing area either, the anger he was holding on to gave way to simple, clear, sharp dread.

He paced the room as he dialled Gulf’s number. The call went straight to voicemail. Fuck. Mew thought

-- Mew: We need to talk.

He quickly typed into LINE and watched the message status change to read. He waited. Deciding suddenly to sit down before standing up again almost immediately. Time seemed to slow to a crawl.

-- Mew: I can’t make it right if I don’t know what I did.  He added when he could no longer bear the wait. Seconds felt like hours.

The “read”  confirmation hung there, mocking him.

He was about to send a more colourfully worded message when he saw the indicator that Gulf was typing a response.

-- Gulf: Can I stay at yours tonight?

Mew blinked in confusion and reread the message. “Gulf.” he groaned with annoyance.

-- Mew: We. Need. To. Talk.

He replied. This time the answer came quickly.

-- Gulf: Not like this. Tonight. Can I?

Well, Mew thought, at least they were getting somewhere.

-- Mew: Yes. Fine. Where are you?

-- Gulf: In the car. I took your keys.

Mew shoved tomorrow’s call sheet into his bag and all but ran towards the parking lot.

To be continued....

Update: part 2 now available here

[altonajitzu]

Superflowers Ch. 2: Mina

Mina didn’t talk much. Yet among TWICE members, she was the most expressive. She always stayed loudly silent, so to speak.

Whilst making less than no sense, the oxymoron became quite clear once one got to know Mina a bit more privately. The resident penguin had, unbeknownst to herself, mastered the skills of non-verbal communication; other members could read her like a book without her saying anything, much to her dismay.

When she was sad, she would be pouty. “What’s wrong?” someone would ask, and they would give her a bucket of icecream.

When she was irritated, she would puff out her cheeks and cross her arms. Someone would be quick to apologize.

When she was happy, she would hum, and her body would sway lightly from side to side in her seat. Someone would be there just to behold the embodiment of cuteness known as Myoui Mina.

The best part was, she never knew what she did. Mina was always lost in her own mind, that she could barely care what she was showing to the world. Which was a lot, unfortunately.

“How can you guys possibly know what I think all the time?” She had asked in frustration. Jihyo only answered with laughter and a big hug.

Mina and Momo arguing was always a scene to watch, with the two of them jumping on top of one another, pinching and pulling on each other’s clothes, hair, or cheeks- anything they could grab, while bickering in a language that- according to Sana- was barely intelligible even for a Japanese. 

With that said, it did not take long for Jihyo to realize something was going on. Something was off with Mina since they woke up that morning, and she tried to hide it so pathetically that even a blind person could notice.

“Good morning Mina-yah. You’re up early today.” TWICE’s leader sleepily greeted her roommate. It was not common to see Mina up and about at 7 in the morning; left to her own devices, the girl never saw fit to get out of bed before the clock hit double digits. Yet today she was, neatly folding up her mess of pillows and blankets. They did not have any work schedules for today, so Jihyo had every right to wonder.

“Morning Jihyo! It’s a lovely day, yes? Perfect for going out right?” Chirped Mina in a voice that Jihyo perceived as overly cheerful, if not somehow suspicious.

“Yeah… you’re going out today Mina?” She inquired quizzically. Yet another abnormality- Mina was the last person she’d expect to look forward to going out. There had been instances where they all went out the whole day, coming back only to see the girl at the exact place they left her in, surrounded by snacks and engrossed in video games.

“Yes! I mean, no. I mean, probably. Depends.” That was the worst answer to a yes-no question, and naturally it did not serve to satisfy any of Jihyo’s demands.

“That was a terrible answer Minari.” She was not hesitant to deadpan her opinion either.

Mina pouted. She sulkily ran out of the room, only to crash into the door to Jihyo’s amusement.

This unusual clumsiness continued for the whole morning, before Jihyo could not take it anymore.

“Mina!”

“Uuuuu…” Came a pained reply. The resident penguin had yet another accident, and she was now nursing her sore foot with which she just kicked the table leg.

“You’ve been acting weird all morning.”

“I do?” Mina perked up, surprise clear in her voice. It seemed that she yet again wasn’t aware of how awfully bad she was at hiding her predicament.

“Yes. Tell me what’s on your mind, would you?”

The penguin fidgeted. She was waiting for the right moment, but at this point it seemed right to just spill the beans right away.

“Jihyoahwouldyougooutwithmetoday” Mina squeaked, then hit herself on the head. Way to fucking go, Myoui Mina.

“… Come again?” As expected, Jihyo did not catch one word of that.

A few minutes and a lot of stuttering later, Jihyo finally got the idea.

“Ooooh so that’s what you mean. Of course Minari, why not? I wanna enjoy the outdoors today too. Let’s go!” Jihyo exclaimed, then instinctively braced herself.

Her situation in the Twice dorm was, for lack of better words, extremely volatile. If, God forbid, any other member managed to overhear her acceptance to Mina’s invitation, she would surely get in a lot of trouble from jealous supergirls. Being crushed beneath a sulky Tzuyu and spun around at Mach 7 by a frustrated Momo was never fun to say the least.

To her surprise, nothing happened.

“Eh? Where is everyone today?” Only now did she notice the unusual absence of the remainder of TWICE.

“I… may or may not have made them think they had some important business to take care of first thing in the morning.” Behind her, Mina timidly disclosed.

“Mina!”

_____

Standing at the front door, Jihyo could only stare in disbelief at the pouring rain.

“How can this be… The weather was so nice just now.”

“Now we can’t enjoy anything outdoors… and just going out is troublesome. Why even bother?” Mina murmured.

They looked at one another, mirroring the other’s disappointed look. It might not be the nicest thing to think, but Jihyo always thought Mina was the most beautiful when she was sad. The melancholy within those crystal irises was simply out of this world.

Lost in her thoughts, Jihyo never noticed the sound of rain coming to a halt. She only jerked out of it when Mina excitedly shook her shoulders.

“Look Jihyo! The rain stops!”

Dazedly tearing her gaze from Mina, Jihyo looked out to find out that the weather had indeed cleared up. The cloud had scattered, giving way for sunlight to shine brilliantly.

“Eh, really? Wow…”

“I guess we got really lucky. Let’s go?” Already standing outside, Mina extended a hand, which Jihyo gladly accepted.

“Say, Minari. Are we on a date?” Jihyo decided to ask as they were striding towards their destination.

“Depends how you think about it. If you want to, sure.” Came the mischievous reply.

_____

The so-called date was phenomenal. 

They went straight to Lotte World, where they had the time of their lives just having fun and enjoying each other’s company. Jihyo was glad to see Mina in her bright carefree mood, playing her heart out at the arcade and screaming at the top of her lungs on the rollercoaster. Of course, she did as well. The couple had such a blast together, they barely noticed time passing by; only when Jihyo noticed their dark shadows on the ground, draped by golden sunset glow, did she realize the day was coming to a close.

“It’s getting late Minari. We should head back soon.” Jihyo observed sadly.

“Not so fast Jihyo-ah, we have a movie to catch in ten minutes.” Mina cheekily said, whipping out a couple of tickets from her pocket. Jihyo’s mood brightened immediately.

“Oh my gosh, are those for ‘District 9’ premiere? I’m dying to watch that movie!” She gushed with excitement. Mina nodded, proud of herself. “How do you even get the tickets? I heard they’re sold out in like one hour!”

“I have my ways. Are you coming or not?” Mina playfully waved the tickets in front of Jihyo’s face.

“Of course I am. Let’s go!” Linking her arms with Mina’s, Jihyo all but skipped towards the grand cinema.

As it turned out, she did not notice much what was going on during the movie- both of them were only pretending to be focused; rather, they paid more attention to where their hands were touching- and what part of their body was being touched.

They did not get home until late at night.

_____

Among the group, Mina was probably the most advanced with her powers. It was not in regard to strength, seeing as all of them were quite powerful in their own ways, and Jihyo forbade any kind of sparring to let them find out who was the strongest- this had sparked quite a few times, with only a simple ‘hey, wanna fight? I wanna try something’ and things went south as quickly as Momo. She knew she couldn’t physically stop them once things started, so it was best not to let anything go off in the first place. She also knew she’d probably limit their growth by not letting them test out new things, yet it was something they were fully able to do by themselves and not on others, and Jihyo was not about to let her precious members get hurt due to reckless experiment.

Except for Mina. Her time spent alone was more than enough for her to explore every obscure corners of her prowess, and no one could tell if she’d employed her powers or not- it affected the mind, with little to no visible changes to one’s body, so it was difficult to discern for sure whether Mina had done something to someone.

That said, Mina could very well hypnotize Jihyo into someone she wasn’t- from a loving girlfriend to a passionate lover, or even a helpless suitor, following the Japanese like a whipped dog- to her own satisfaction, or merely to get a kick out of the other members. Yet she never did. 

“I’ll never try anything on you Jihyo.” Mina had declared, in the most resolute tone she could muster.

Because she loved Jihyo way too much for that, though this part she did not mention. She never dared say something so outrageous out loud.

And Jihyo was thankful. Still, if she was completely honest with herself, she was sometimes afraid- or, at least, apprehensive, of the fact that she was completely at Mina’s mercy.

_____

When Jihyo opened her eyes, it was dark. Reaching for the phone, she groaned when it showed 2AM. Being a deep sleeper, it was rare for her to wake up in the middle of the night like this. They were always so busy with their schedule; therefore, they could ill afford to waste precious sleep on random jerk-ups at night. Nevertheless, Jihyo felt wide awake, as if she had been asleep for much longer.

Glancing around at the barely visible bedroom, Jihyo raised an eyebrow when she saw Mina’s bed vacant. Normally it would be hard to tell, but the neatly made bed gave the clear indication that its owner hadn’t come around since the morning before. 

“Where is she…” Jihyo wondered. She decided to go look for her in the living room. Their front door made quite an obnoxious creak when it opened, so it wasn’t likely that Mina had snuck out.

Upon entering the common room, Jihyo was startled the soft, almost imperceptible sound of sobbing. Sure enough, Mina was there all by herself, crying her eyes out while burying her face in open palms.

“Minari…?” She called out tentatively. The crying ceased right away, and Mina looked up from where she was sitting, her eyes puffy and red.

“Jihyo-ah…” Mina tried her best to sound casual, yet the cracking voice betrayed her, and she could not continue.

The leader did not push for an explanation. Instead, she sat down next to Mina and offered her a comforting shoulder- like she always did. 

As she was embracing Mina and drawing comforting circles on the crying girl’s arm, Jihyo caught sight of something unexpected on the table.

Lying there were four familiar-looking tickets. To be more accurate, two couples of tickets, one for the Lotte World and the other for the movie ‘District 9’. All four were in brand new condition, not stubs- meaning, they had not been used, which would be indicated by the cashier’s ripping.

And Jihyo understood.

“Minari… Our date, it never happened, did it?” She whispered the all-too-important question. “You put me to sleep with the scenario you thought of. That’s why I felt like I’d slept the whole day, because I really did. And it can’t just up and stop raining like that, now that I think about it.” Everything started to fall into place.

Mina did not reply, but her silence was more than a verbal confirmation.

“Look, Mina-yah,” Jihyo heaved a sigh. She admittedly had mixed feelings about the revelation, but right now, Mina took top priority. “There’s no need to cry over spoilt milk. We can go out any other day, tomorrow if you want. So please cheer up, I’m sad when you’re like this.” She tried to console Mina, and while it did little to actually improve her mood, it managed to halt her crying enough for conversation.

“It’s not that Jihyo-ah…” Taking a deep breath, Mina continued. “I was really looking forward to this date. We were supposed to play games together, watch movies together, and m-maybe something else. But above all, I want you to be happy with me. So… even though we were not able to go, I imagined a day where we did- then hypnotized you into thinking that. I made you fall asleep though, so it was more or less a controlled dream.”

A choke, suppressed with difficulty thus far, finally escaped Mina’s restraint.

“It’s my fault. You probably hate me now. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, Jihyo-ah.” 

Glistening tears threatened to fall from Mina’s eyes again, and Jihyo would not have that. To Mina’s shock, the leader pushed her down on the couch, their faces only inches apart.

“J-Jihyo?” Far from accustomed to such compromising situations, Mina stuttered, her depression momentarily forgotten. She was painfully aware of how close they were to each other; the heat from Jihyo’s body was sending waves of butterflies to her stomach, almost as much so as her intense, mesmerizing orbs.

“Minari… I don’t know if you’re doing anything to my mind right now, but there’s nothing I want more than to take a bite on those delicious-looking lips of yours.” While normally that would sound tempting and Mina would immediately accept, she was feeling naught but scared at that moment. So she chose to shake her head vehemently. Little did she know, that little action only served to make her seem even more vulnerable- and, to Jihyo, adorable.

“You’re so sweet and kind, Mina-yah. There are many things you could have done with your powers. You could force me to go out with you even if it was raining, hell, you could even make me take off my clothes for you right then and there without any dates.” Mina blushed furiously at this. She would never have enough gall for that. “But you didn’t. You made me happy at the expense of your own satisfaction. If that isn’t the sweetest sacrifice ever, I don’t know what is.”

“But, I did not keep my words…”

“If everytime you break your promise you can make me this happy, then please, break it as many times as you can.”

“Jihyo… I…” Feeling the uselessness of words at the moment, Mina decided to throw caution to the wind. She lifted her head up, and their lips met.

Mina didn’t talk much. Yet among TWICE members, she was the most expressive. Her kiss, albeit soft and shy, was burning with unbridled affection.

____ 

“Let’s go back to bed, shall we? You need rest.” Mina obediently nodded, still feeling light-headed from the kiss. She barely felt her feet when they walked hand in hand back to the bedroom they shared with Nayeon and Sana. What she did feel however, was that her heart dropped as Jihyo left her personal space and made for her bed.

“Wait…” Fortunately, she was still close enough to hold Jihyo back by the hand. The leader turned back with a half-puzzled, half-expectant look, her eyes glimmering in the semi-darkness that shrouded the room.

“Sleep with me tonight.”

“You know I can’t. The others won’t let me hear the end of it when they wake up and see us.” Jihyo replied regretfully.

“Let me come over to your bed then, I’ll take the blame.” Mina decided to follow through with her sudden bout of boldness. It was, after all, a small price to pay for that warmth she missed already. “They won’t even know, I promise.” She winked meaningfully.

“You know I didn’t give you permission to abuse your powers right?” Chided Jihyo playfully, pinching Mina’s dainty hand.

“But it’ll make you happy right~?” Jihyo had to concede to that. Silently they tiptoed to her bed and lay down. It was barely large enough for two people, so they settled in a spooning position.

Sleepiness soon clouded Mina’s mind, and the soothing presence of Jihyo, who was breathing rhythmically into the back of her neck, provided an profound sense of peace that no plushie could ever match.

“Mina?” Amidst the fog of drowsiness, she heard Jihyo whisper her name.

“Yeah?”

“You talked a lot tonight.”

“Hmhm.”

“You were really bold. Almost as bold as the Mina you pictured then put in my head. I like it.”

“Oh, shush you.” They shared a light laugh.

“Good night, Minari.”

“Good night, Jihyo.”

With that, Mina drifted off to blissful unconsciousness.

As she held the peacefully sleeping Mina in her arms that night, whatever doubt or fear Jihyo might have had with the girl all but evaporated. Sure, she did break her promise, intentionally even. But the sweet little penguin would never hurt her, and no amount of hypnosis could possibly alter her trust.