#2271 words for some random interaction because i wanted to give someone a gift

[chofitia]

Fuck it. I’m liveblogging rereading this cringe. No, I’m not going to link to where it is. If you’ve built up my social links enough, then I’ll think about it.

Dedication: Why in God’s name did I say that something in my OC’s POV was for someone else? I think it’s the dynamic within the fic? I know I’ve done that shit before: “Hey, my OC’s interactions with this canon character reflect how I think our interactions are!”

Paragraph One: This... actually isn’t too bad. Still overwrought, but the scenario itself has some promise. (Sephiroth and some other Firsts taking over someone’s house in Wutai as HQ. The inhabitants within are Not Happy.)

Paragraph Two: Uh, I don’t remember all of this lore.

Paragraph Three: Okay, so the build up here is also decent (The POV character is going over all of the rumors she’s heard about Sephiroth, and now this fucker is in her house.)

Paragraph Four: Oh, hello, one-sentence paragraph subversion! I’ve apparently been using that trick since...  2002, at least?!

Paragraph Five: It isn’t a Chofitia old-fic if there isn’t some purple-ass prose description of Sephiroth’s appearance. Actually, I think the only fics where there aren’t one is the ones from the proto-Genesis POV. Because antagonism. Also, I have this thing about Sephiroth being able to speak different languages flawlessly. You could probably justify it as Jenova’s shape-shifting mindfuckery being able to make language learning a lot easier for longer. Eighteen-year-old me would’ve probably just justified it as “smart people are multi-lingual”. Also, I’d forgotten that this OC and Sephiroth were supposed to be the same age, for Reasons.

Paragraph Six: Okay, so here’s my subconscious manifesting itself. The idea of “I know a bit of this, but not as well as you. I know that you’re going to dismiss my attempts, but I’m still going to try.” Ugh, and I forgot that I’d made up weird-sounding surnames before settling on looking up actual surnames for my OCs to use. I do remember the lore here, but I’ve since streamlined it.

Paragraph Seven: And Sephiroth is civil, because I stan.

Paragraph Eight: More lore that I’ve forgotten! I think that someone could do something with the “Turks assassinated Godo’s dad in order to force a young, untried leader to rule, thus causing political instability” thing.

Paragraphs Nine and Ten: Ugh, more lore/OC things that I’ve forgotten and are cringe. Also, OC, you are not going to get close enough to stab him before he disarms you. Please stop.

Paragraph Eleven: Did I seriously imply shit about the Honor of a Soldier four years before Crisis Core? Then-me would’ve just shrugged at this whole “I’m not like the others” thing Sephiroth has going.

Paragraphs Twelve to Fourteen: Girl, no. At least you’re aware that you’re being tsundere and need to back the fuck off.

Paragraphs Fifteen to Seventeen: More lore that I’ve forgotten! Again, there’s an idea that people could work with: “Both sides hype up their own senses of honor but are not above doing ruthless, dirty shit because they want to win.”

Paragraph Eighteen: More lore that I’ve forgotten, and then the set-up for some Doylian funny.

Paragraph Nineteen: “I am no god,” he said. Grand humor of the I-see-what-you-did-there variety.

Paragraphs Twenty and Twenty-One: The fuck are these obscure references to lore only eighteen-year-old me knew?! The worst part of it is that I didn’t find the need to write outlines or anything because of course I’d remember it all! Also, you know what’s more fun than trying to stab the enemy commander that’s taken over your house? Maneuvering the enemy commander that’s taken over your house to kill off your family’s political opponents! (Holy fuck, Purity Sue is all Sansa Stark over here.)

Paragraph Twenty-Two to Twenty-Five: Okay, here we are: lore that I can actually trace to the influence of others. References to Hel, which, as all FF7 olds know, implies a link to Nibelheim and therefore Cloud.

Paragraph Twenty-Six to Twenty-Eight: More lore that I can trace to others, because this fic is supposedly within the confines of the ‘verse of the author to whom this thing is dedicated. I’d forgotten that the author’s OCs had supposedly wandered around the world. Also, Tragic backstory is Tragic, because I’m me.

Paragraph Twenty-Nine to Thirty-Three: And now we start talking about religion and faith. I’m sure that eighteen-year-old me knew this was all Deep and Meaningful, but now I’m all. “No, this conversation would never happen. Doesn’t matter that this ‘verse’s Sephiroth is different.” I’m also chuckling at myself because there’s this line, “Phantoms fight against us.”, that I know is supposed to foreshadow one thing in my lore but now can be interpreted as several others.

Paragraph Thirty-Four to Thirty-Six: And now we veer into a conversation about “History is written by the winners”. And I also kind of like Sephiroth basically saying “I’ll never forget [the war with Wutai] because I’ve been traumatized by it.” No, he wouldn’t say that to some rando Purity Sue, but he’d think it.

Paragraph Thirty-Seven: I’m trying to be clever by having Purity Sue freak out that Sephiroth can read minds. Girl, he’s got enough emotional intelligence to read you.

Paragraph Thirty-Eight to Forty: Okay, so Sephiroth wants to go rogue. Again, I love that I was figuring out the plot to Crisis Core before it was a glimmer in Nomura’s eye.

Paragraph Forty-One: “When he spoke so, it seemed almost as if he saw himself above humanity.”  One: Holy God, “seemed almost as if”. Hrm. How would I write this now... “He isolated himself with his words, dwelled in a place where he looked down on all others.” Two: I’m really beating the reader over the head about the OG plot.

Paragraph Forty-Two and Forty-Three: “Wow, we really seem to be interested in going back and forth defending and trashing our respective cultures.” Also, no, OC, he’s reserved for Cloud in this ‘verse. Also, more stuff that’s supposed to be foreshadowing of my own lore. And there’s some abilist shit I’d forgotten about!

Paragraph Forty-Four to Forty-Seven/End (with a back-track to Forty-Three): And more foreshadowing about the OG game and this ‘verse’s post-game shenanigans. Basically: “Shinra won’t last forever.” “No, but I’d really like them to fall while I’m still alive.” (This is actually me trying to be clever, because it won’t happen for either speaker.) “Same, tbh. I’d want to meet whoever it is that manages to take them down.” “You’re either going to be fighting alongside them or trying to kill them.” (PORQUE NO LOS DOS?! Actually, this whole section can be porque no los dos when it comes to the foreshadowing.)