#22 my beloved.......this ugly little beautiful thing gives me so much hope

[vonlipvig]

if you hate this thing then you hate me personally

[diveronarpg]

Congratulations, HONEY! You’ve been accepted for the role of PARIS with a faceclaim change to Luke Pasqualino. Admin Jen: I had high expectations for Priam as he’s such a nuanced, multi-faceted character but you exceeded them by leaps and bounds, Honey! You captured all the concepts that I was hoping to see someone explore and unravel such as his identity, search for purpose and moral ambiguity and you added all these little details that built off of that but also made the characterization wholly yours. My favorite one was the detail regarding his knack for fixing up cars and the backstory you built off of that in terms of his family’s corporation. I can honestly keep going for hours because there was just too much to love about your app. It’s left me absolutely thrilled to see how you’ll develop him on the dash! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Honey

Age | 22

Preferred Pronouns | She/Her

Activity Level | I’m a final year college student who’s doing a short film as my final project, which might take up some time. But I’m taking less classes this semester so that kind of evens out the workload a little. I’d place my activity level at about a 6 (maybe even 7 if I’m feeling particularly inspired) out of 10.

Timezone | GMT +8

Current/Past RP Accounts | apcstasies.tumblr.com

In Character

Character | PARIS ; Priam Taravella (FC: Luke Pasqualino)

What drew you to this character?

The fact that everything about Priam is manufactured, a carefully curated collection of personality traits and mannerisms that he can turn on and off at will whenever it suits his purpose. By all intents and purposes – be it business or personal – Priam is a self-made man. But even though his perfectly-crafted veneer is his greatest strength, paradoxically, it is also his biggest weakness. There is a void inside him, a hollow point that eats away at him. It is a slow decay, but it consumes nonetheless. Personally, I feel that this emptiness he feels is a lack of human connection, and for all his ambition and apparent desire to rise to power, what he truly seeks is a sense of belonging. Priam wants so badly to be seen, but ironically the way he makes himself visible is by putting on a mask.

I feel like he probably struggles a lot with his upbringing and his resentment towards his parents. On the one hand, he’s very aware that as far as childhoods go, his isn’t terrible. He grew up extremely privileged and never wanted for anything (besides his parents’ affection, but that’s besides the point). Sure, it sucked that his parents were distant and that he’s had all these expectations placed on his shoulders from such a young age, but Priam is very aware of the fact that there are many people who would give anything to trade lives with him. He was deeply unhappy with his life growing up, and when he was younger he had been more inclined to complain about how much he hated his life, as children are wont to do, but then everyone around him constantly reminded him how lucky he was and so he learned to bury his discontentment. He carried his unhappiness inside him like a cancer, letting it fester until he was sick with it.

I also find his potential struggles with self-identity to be a compelling part of his character. At what point does the mask become the man? When does the line between the part he plays and his true self start to blur? Does he ever catch himself in the middle of a moment and think–– am I still pretending, or is this truly the man that I have become?

+ Bonus: I just find it amusing that he’s named Priam.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character?

TENDER LIKE A BRUISE

Love is an abstract concept that Priam can’t quite grasp and it shows. Still, there is a part of Priam that believes in love. Perhaps it is because he’s never had it that he wants it this badly, or perhaps it is the way he’s heard Julianna speak of love. Romantics talk about all-encompassing love, the kind of love that consumes you until you can think of nothing else except your dearly beloved and being with them. Priam is no stranger to being consumed, except it is poison that fills his veins and a monster within that eats at him inside out. As a teen, he’d thought that he could fill the void inside of him with love, only he never quite understood what love meant. He’d confused love with lust and, sleeping with girls, and boys, and girls and boys, but even if it kept the hunger at bay for a little while, the emptiness alwayscrept back in. Whether Priam realises it or not, he wants Juliana to be the one who might finally be able to carve a home in his ribs. Maybe they’re not in love, but when he’s with her, something in his chest settles, and maybe, maybe, maybe, that will be enough.

WE MUST BE KILLERS

Priam’s never had much of an appetite for violence, but if there’s anything he’s learned from his parents, it’s that the means are always justified by the ends. And if that’s the case, then what’s a little bit of spilt blood in the grand scheme of things? But just because he can understand the necessity for violence doesn’t mean he’s any more willing to be an active participant. He’s a hypocrite and a coward; he may not ever be the one pulling the trigger, but he is the one who looks away and lets it happen. It makes the ugly parts of the job easier to stomach, soothes his conscience some. But things are changing, tensions are rising, to remain passive is to bare your neck your enemy and pray they won’t tear your throat out. Priam is a survivor, and if it comes down to killing someone or being killed, he knows which side of the line he wants to fall on. He’s a liar, he’s manipulative, he’s ruthless –– he’s never been a killer, but perhaps it’s time to change that.

SHIFTING IN THE LIGHT

Despite being neck-deep in the corruption of Verona, he likes to think that he has some morals, or at least a sort of ethical code that he follows. People like him are the worst, criminals who refuse to acknowledge themselves as such. For Priam, part of the reason is pride, but fear is a factor as well, even if he won’t admit it. He had been the one to go to Cosimo, and the man has always treated him as something of a son, but sometimes he does wonder if he’s sold his soul to the devil and it’s days like those that he can’t bear to look himself in the eyes. But Priam can’t run from the person he’s become forever. One day he’s going to look in the mirror and not recognise himself, and he’ll wonder if maybe the mask is stuck, or if he’s just become the mask. He’s grown into a man, hardly recognisable as the little boy he used to be, and only time will tell whether that’s a good or bad change.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character?

Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve killed off one of my characters : )))

(That means yes, please feel free to kill Priam.)

In Depth

In-Character Interview:

• What is your favourite place in Verona?

“My favourite place?” Priam echoes. The slight twist of his lips hints at amusement, but it is the sort of indulgent humour one might direct at a particularly precocious two-year-old. It’s an expression that borders on condescension, but the reporter is either oblivious to it or doesn’t much care, continuing to watch him with expectant eyes. Over the years Priam has found that people are usually too enamoured by his pretty face to really notice the ugly parts of him that lurk underneath the surface, and it feels like a challenge, almost –– sometimes he toes the line just to see how much he can get away with by virtue of being young and beautiful.

“You’re standing in it,” he finally answers, the words accompanied by a vague sweeping gesture of his hand, inviting the reporter to take a proper look at the garage they’re currently in. This is the first time anyone other than him has been in there, and a part of Priam tingles with the wrongness of a stranger in a space that had before this been only for him. Still, it’s a small sacrifice he has to make. People love to be reminded that the rich are regular people with regular hobbies behind the glamour of wealth, and if Priam throws them a bone now, it’ll keep them from digger further into other truths he’d rather not divulge. “I apologise for the mess, by the way,” he adds, allowing a sheepishness he doesn’t actually feel to seep into his voice, “I probably should have cleaned up a little, but it slipped my mind. Don’t usually let people in here, y’know?” Hook, line, and sinker, Priam thinks, watching the man flush slightly at the implication that he’s the exception.

• What does your typical day look like?

“A lot of paperwork,” he answers with a laugh, and then, “No, really. I left Taravella Corporation because I got tired of sitting around in an office all day. Albeit it was a very nice office, but I’ve always been more of a hands-on kind of guy.” He pauses to pick up a wrench from his worktable, pretending not to notice the double entendre, or the way the reporter’s gaze catches on his fingers as they wrap around the shaft of the wrench.

“I traded aerospace for automotive, thinking with a smaller company I’d get to be more involved with the actual manufacturing process, but I still spend most of my day signing papers.” He looks up from the car then, sharing a wry smile with the reporter before adding, almost cheekily, “Except now I get to do it in a smaller office.” Despite the reporter being the only other person in the room, Priam lowers his voice anyway, letting the reduced volume provide the illusion of candour. “Some might say it’s a downgrade, but it’s nice to have a space that finally feels like it’s mine. It sounds silly, but back at T-Corp, I always felt like I was just messing around in my old man’s chair.”

“Anyway,” he says, talking normally once more, “After work I like to grab some drinks with my friends, maybe dinner with my fiancée if I end early enough. I’m really not all that different from other guys in their twenties.” If other guys his age routinely met up with members of one of Verona’s most well-known mobs, of course, but he decides to leave that last bit off the record.

• What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

“I accidentally wore mismatched socks to work once,” he deadpans, and then more seriously, “I suppose it depends on how one defines ‘mistake’, but to me, a mistake is something you wish you could undo.” He ducks under the open hood even as he continues to talk despite previously having made it a point to make eye contact whenever he answered a question, knowing that the reporter will interpret it as him feeling more comfortable being honest when he’s not actually looking at the person he’s talking to.

“For a while, I had wondered if leaving the family business had been a mistake,” he admits, sounding genuine even as he lies through his teeth. Priam had never been more sure of anything, determined to forge his own path to the top without the burden of his family’s legacy weighing him down. “But that worked out pretty well for me, I’d say, so no regrets there.”

• What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

“Picture this––” he starts, “You’re five years old and your father brings you to work.” It’s perhaps his earliest memory of his father. Before that, the man had been a mere spectre in Priam’s life, the bogeyman that his nannies had used to keep him in line. Your father wouldn’t want you to use that word, or keep your voice down, your father’s resting in his office. That day at Taravella Corporation’s main office had been the first time they’d spent more than half an hour in the same room. Back then, Priam had thought it had been some sort of a father-son bonding experience, but he knows better now.

“He showed me around, brought me to all the different departments before he took me to his personal office. There, he said to me: this will all be yours someday.” On some nights, he can still hear his father’s voice, still remembers grappling with the realisation that he’s not so much a son as he is the heir to an empire he never asked for. It’s not a happy memory, but he recounts the tale with a carefully calculated smile that’s just this side of sheepish and a half-shrug, proud and self-deprecating all at once, “That’s quite a lot to ask of a young boy, don’t you think?”

• What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues?

War. It’s such an ugly word, but there’s hardly any point debating the reporter’s choice of words when it’s the truth. Priam is under no illusions –– while the interview might have been disguised as a spread on one of Verona’s most successful young entrepreneurs, this one question is the true crux of it all. But he wouldn’t be such an invaluable piece on the Capulets’ chessboard if he hadn’t been well-versed in the art of lies and half-truths, and that ability is sure to serve him well now.

“If you think that I have anything profound to say just because I’m engaged to Juliana, then I’m afraid you’re mistaken.” He places his wrench back down, walking away from the open hood of the car to lean against the passenger side door instead, allowing the reporter an unobstructed view of him. His stance is carefully neutral, arms at his side, nothing in his posture to suggest that he has anything to hide. “I’m a businessman, I make and sell cars,” he starts, but knows that there’s no way he can get away with not commenting on the issue at all. “That being said, my family has always been close to the Capulets, so. Whatever Cosimo and Juliana are doing, I trust that they’re doing the right thing.”

“Speaking of my fiancée––” Priam straightens up suddenly, his tone returning to it’s earlier light-heartedness as his lips pull into a grin. “I’m supposed to meet her for lunch today, and I should probably wash off all this grease before I do that. I assume we’re done here?” It’s phrased as a question, but combined with the slight raise of a single eyebrow, it’s clear that it’s a dismissal more than anything else. The reporter’s smart enough to catch on, nodding in agreement as he thanks Priam for his time.

Extras:

Taravella Corporation is an aerospace engineering company, mostly dealing with the manufacturing of commercial planes, but they have the occasional military contract as well as an R&D department that’s looking into space travel

After leaving T-Corp, Priam went and set up Argentum, an automotive engineering company that produces some of the most innovative luxury cars in the world

In his youth, Priam had a brief stint with street racing. It had been an attempt to distract himself from the gnawing emptiness inside of him, and for a while it worked. Now, occasionally he’ll drive over the speed limit, but he’s not nearly as reckless anymore

Really good at poker but we’ll probably never actually get to see this in a thread (besides maybe a passing mention) because I have no idea how to play poker despite having been taught multiple times

Sexy and he knows it !

I wish I could end this app on a more coherent and/or profound note but it’s 4 in the morning and I just want to write a fake ass hoe whose entire existence can be boiled down to: was unloved as a child and now has no idea how basic human emotions work

He tries though, really

[gaynoctgar]

Thoughts about Prompto’s arc in “Brotherhood”

The real title, for now, is something like “Prompto being formerly fat was not even remotely necessary and was offensively handled” or “Haley rants about Brotherhood because it’s so fatphobic”

TW: eating disorders, fatphobia.  

It’s also incredibly long, but I really want to share my thoughts.

Update: 10-4-2018: inspired by comments and tags, I added more examples of dialogue that exemplifies the problem

Update: 22-4-2018: accounting for the new “official profiles”...it got worse, everyone.

Oh Prompto.  Prompto Argentum.  My beloved, sweet, beautiful bi boy who could have had a much more satisfying arc.  They really tried, didn’t they?  They tried to give you a touching backstory and instead exposed their fatphobia.  And as for the bi part, well, that’s another essay in and of itself....stay tuned everyone. 

Yes, this is one of those posts.  That’s why I put all of this under a “Keep reading.”  It’s just something that has been subtly bothering me for a long time and I thought I’d give this short essay format a try.  There will be a TL;DR at the end, I suppose, but please read through this if you are interested in this aspect that I feel is both underexplored and overexploited about my most favorite character in anything ever.

A bit about myself before we begin: I am rather chubby.  I’m 5’4” (162cm) and 220 lbs (100 kg), and I have struggled off and on with eating disorders since I was in high school.  I do realize this makes me “obese,” but this essay isn’t about that.  Rather, it is about how fatness and obesity is often portrayed in media as a character flaw, or something to overcome, and my own feelings about why this is harmful. To be clear, I want to make two major points with this: 1) Prompto being “formerly fat” is not something that was even remotely necessary for his character arc and its inclusion and resolution are nothing short of fatphobic and; 2) the fact that Prompto receives his character development via losing weight in Brotherhood is emblematic of every problem I have with how media chooses to include fat people.

These points are incredibly intertwined, so let’s start by exploring what was intended by the episode.  I want to be clear and demonstrate that I fully understand what the episode intended to show, and I will continue to acknowledge what the likely intent was.  This essay/rant is critiquing the execution.

If the point of Brotherhood was to suggest that Prompto had a lonely childhood until he met Noctis, that’s great!  I understand that that’s what Brotherhood was showing.  HOWEVER. I have been sickened, from the moment I saw his episode, with how his journey to lose weight was correlated with his journey to “be good enough” to be Noct’s friend.  Let me be clear.  I understand that we are supposed to interpret this as a character flaw on Prompto’s part, and we see in the gayest scene the rooftop motel scene that losing weight did not resolve Prompto’s self-confidence.  I know that.  What I am saying is that him losing weight was in no was necessary to include, at least not in the way that they did.  There are some ugly implicit implications here, not least of which is that eating nothing but salads is, I would argue, just as unhealthy as what he was doing before. The show treats it as a positive good that Prompto appears to be starving himself and thinking obsessively about losing weight, and that is what I am taking issue with.

I, personally, detest the “formerly fat” trope and all its incarnations.  Wouldn’t it simply have been enough to say that Prompto was painfully shy (he was) and very lonely (he was)?  Why do these feelings have to be justified via his body?  Was there no other way you could justify Prompto simply being too shy to talk to Noct? Noct’s the prince, Prompto is a commoner who feels that he’s nothing particularly special…would this not have been enough?  Doing it the way that they did implies that being fat is a moral and character flaw that needs to be corrected in order for you to be seen as a hero. That is what I am taking issue with.

And yes, I realize that the “weight loss journey” is jump-started by the fact that babby Noct says “heavy…” when trying to help Prompto to his feet.  Believe me, I understand first-hand how much that hurts. I faced many similar instances in my own life.  I can’t blame him for saying it, he’s a kid, but I do want to point out that Noct never apologizes for this.  You could say “he didn’t realize he was wrong” but maybe you could have had a scene where Noct wonders why the cute boy with the camera is avoiding him, and Ignis can say something like “well, did you do or say anything that might have upset him?” and Noct can actually apologize for hurting Prompto’s feelings.  This is not unreasonable to expect.  When I was a kid and people were avoiding me, my mom always asked me to think back on why that might be.  It’s part of growing up and learning that your words and actions have consequences.

TO BE FAIR: I do think the motel scene was an attempt to rectify all of this in the game.  While Prompto formerly being fat is not explicitly mentioned, he is mortified that Noct remembers him back in elementary school.  Now, I love Noct, but he’s stupid sometimes, and not very intuitive. This is, however, in his character, and I will allow it because the very next thing he says is “You should have said something sooner.”  This shows Prompto (and the audience) that Noct doesn’t give two shits about how Prompto looks, now or ever, and I am happy that this was included.  However, there is no given reason behind why Noct couldn’t simply talk to Prompto himself beforehand.  Like I said, Noct is an idiot, and also a lot more shy and awkward than he lets on. But this moment was sweet between them, even if you don’t ship promptis, and I do think it is fair to mention it.

However, coupling all of this with the fact that the “character sheets” show us that Prompto does, canonically, have a fear of gaining weight, as well as these little snippets of dialogue…

Prompto: Hey, let’s hit up the Crow’s Nest!

Ignis: If you wish to put on weight? Certainly.

Prompto: *sighs* Yeah, I know…

(I swear to god every time I get this dialogue I SCREAM at Ignis, how is this even remotely okay to say to your friend who you damn well know has problems with his weight and there’s no way you don’t know this--)

EDIT: The addition of this quote is based on the tags from @gentiuna, I knew I was forgetting something!

Noct: Why is your face so fat?

Prompto: I’m NOT fat!!

(I swear to Jesus you’re on thin fucking ice with me Noct, that’s not even remotely funny and you need a time out to think about what you’ve done--)

This one I have only gotten once in my ~400 hrs of play but I swear I didn’t make it up; if anyone finds the specific words, I will correct it:

Ignis: talks about food and how it’s “anything your heart wants” or something

Prompto: Yeah, it’s the wanting that’s the problem.

I think this was intended to be a nod to Brotherhood but (and @bernielu can back me up on this) I SCREAMED when I heard it. How is that REMOTELY okay?  Nobody even REACTS to this, or asks if Prompto is okay, or ask him why the FUCK he would say that.  

This is when it becomes pertinent, I think, to discuss my own experience with eating disorders.  I have wonderful friends and family, and I’m well on the road to recovery, but back when I was in high school, I just straight up wouldn’t bring food to lunch.  Retroactively, I realize they all brought extra, hoping I would get just hungry enough to pick at the scraps (I usually did), and that was their way of helping me and showing me that they cared.  It can be hard to want food sometimes.  As offensive as I find its inclusion, I do think that’s an accurate way of representing how it can feel: you know that food is good, and you know that you are hungry, but it’s wanting to eat it that’s a problem.  Here’s my issue: that should have raised everyone’s red flags, and the fact that nobody, NOT EVEN NOCT, WHO WE CAN EXPECT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS, says ANYTHING about this, and the game writes it off as another one of its Infamous Banters ™….it’s not looking great.  It’s not looking like representation, to me.  It’s looking like erasure and fatphobia.  

Babby Prompto is supposed to be viewed with pity but also, I think, with disdain: by the audience and by Prompto himself.  I’ve noticed in many fics that the fans like to almost romanticize this aspect of him, and explore that he has an eating disorder which is…I don’t’ like it because most of these fics come to the same conclusion: Prompto ends up skinny anyway and it’s just a quirk about him.  This is what I meant when I said that I feel this is overexploited, earlier in the essay, but also underdeveloped in the sense that they basically, in my opinion, show this as something that Prompto had to “get over” to be a real protagonist. They don’t go into how fucked up Prompto’s psyche must be from this.  It’s just kinda…ignored.  

UPDATE 22-4-2018: I’ve got to get this off my chest, the new “Official Works Profile” for Prompto made all of this worse.  It literally outright states that, after rescuing Pryna, Prompto “decided “to become the right sort of person for a Prince” and worked to change himself. It also refers to Prompto having a “pudgy youth” as if that were a bad thing.  It also says “Incidentally, Prompto’s photography hobby developed when he was dieting and took photos to record his weight loss progress.” Not gonna lie, this one made me physically ill.  There was literally no reason for that other than to imply that being fat is somehow immoral.  Why is Prompto’s “personal resolve” equated to losing weight? Why couldn’t it simply have been to be more outgoing? I’m fucking ANGRY, I’m done being polite about this.

My solution, then? Well, one of two things: 1) don’t make Prompto fat to justify his bad childhood if you know you’re just gonna make him thin and completely ignore that he was ever different, which is my preferred solution, or 2) have at least one character be bigger and that’s just how they are and it’s not made into a plot point or anything.  

A final note: I KNOW people can and do drop tremendous amounts of weight, and I want to be clear that I am not suggesting this is bad or that people shouldn’t do it.  A person’s weight and their relationship to it is their own business, and as long as people have a healthy relationship with their body, I’m not one to judge.  I know that we are supposed to see Prompto’s weight loss as heroic and a strong example of his dedication to Noctis.  And sure, we get that.  But maybe I have convinced you that the development we get comes at the cost of fatphobia, at least in terms of how it was portrayed here.

TL;DR: Prompto didn’t need to be fat to develop his character, and its inclusion and treatment in the narrative of Brotherhood suggest an uncomfortable degree of fatphobia.

If you stuck around for the whole thing, thank you so much for reading my thoughts.  It’s something that has been bubbling up in me for months, and now I am finally able to put it in words. <3

[yuki-d-raizel-blog]

Hero

Chapter 24/??

Relationship: Todoroki Shouto x Reader (Your/Name), (Full/Name)

Summit: It all begin at the Sports Festival when Shouto’s other half met Endevour by mistake. The student never thought to see his partner fight against his father just to show him that he is wrong. It started from that instant, Shouto’s new path started exactly from that moment thanks to his friends and his beloved one.

---

When you hear the gate being closed, you lay your back on the wall and slide down, keeping your knees in your chest. Staying like that for a few minutes, you swear and walk away. Shuu goes downstairs, meanwhile, his friends move to another room where the garden on the back is fully visible. Waiting patiently, after a bit, you walk barefoot on the softly grass, holding your violin in a hand and its stick on the other. The girl stands still looking at the sky while Shuu stays far from her, he’s there to wait the right moment. Slowly, (Y/N) plays the violin producing a sad song, that her childhood friends recognize almost immediately.

<<That melody, eh? We were wrong about her dream.>> whispers Joel, <<Something bigger is tormenting her. Maybe we need to investigate deeper about Miraje’s family’s request.>>

<<What’s that song means?>> asks Shouto concerned, Lenka said to him to not go now, Shuu will think about her, so he sticks around with them to understand his girlfriend better.

<<That is the last song that (Y/N) wrote for Yamato.>> Tenka’s eyes are watering, <<She always play it when she wants to feel or talk with him. We rarely saw her so vulnerable, what the hell did she dream about?>>

<<♩ I pray to God for the rain, because when I look at the sky, it'll hide my tears; but instead there’s snow piled over my head, becoming the pain you're looking for... ♩>> she sings with a sorrowful voice, <<♩ I can't take the pain of crying anymore; but there’s no way to fight back my tears. My tears, will flow down, quietly... ♩>>

<<(Y/N)…>> Shuu felt something that moved his feet and forced his voice to call your name.

You stop playing and hang your arms along your sides. Turning towards him, you show your tears and an ugly smile, it’s sad, regretful, that doesn’t suit you at all, <<♩ My tears are stained, but I still crack a smile... My tears will just flow quietly down my face…♩>>

<<Stop hiding your pain from us, we can still feel it that something is tormenting you.>> the man hugs her and stroke her hair gently, <<You dreamed my brother? What he told you?>>

<<…I never had a nightmare like that…>> Shuu’s arms trap you inside, <<I achieved my dream, I was adult and married, with a family… the moment that I started to feel the happiness, a black light passed through my sight and everything was ruined… My family, my friends, my coworkers, the city… All was destroyed and I was the only survived…>> you suppress your crying and your fear trying to explain it, <<I was confused and suddenly, Yamato appeared singing a creepy song, asking why I left him left behind or why he was so blind… He said that he cuts our ties because he sees my lies…>>

<<It was a nightmare, my brother would never do something like that, blame you either.>> “It’s different, this time is much more in the future. So, it’s different from Miraje-san’s one.” <<Sometimes your existence gives hope to one person. Your smile may be a pearl form someone. Your presence might be the desire of the one who loves you dearly, so value yourself. Those are his words, right?>>

<<…Yeah, they are… He gave to me the image of my hero…>>

<<The best thing of falling down, it’s that there is only a way out.>> he picks you up and lays you on his big shoulders, <<Upon us!>> he grabs the violin and walks slowly to make you feel the wind, but when you slapped yourself hard, he stops worried.

<<Crap, I forgot how damn tall you are.>> you rest your forearms on his head, <<I was so happy because I could do our shows yesterday, and today I had a breakdown. I fell again, how lame.>>

<<No, you are not.>> Shuu goes to put the violin back and walks again, <<Our hero is not lame.>>

<<Yes, I am.>> , <<No, you aren’t. Fight me on this.>>

Protesting against each other, Shuu runs fast to make you fall and surrender to his idea, but it ends that both are playing like children and laughing.

<<Why (Y/N)-chan does shows for children?>> asks Midoriya, <<I mean, is really admirable, but it’s not hard for her when she have school and study to be a hero->>

<<What does the word “hero” means for you, kids?>> responds Tenka looking at his little sister smiling happily again, “This era lost the origin of that word.”

<<…I want to be the number one hero… like All Might…>> , <<I just want to be a hero who can save the people that I love.>>

<<Midoriya…>> Lenka leaves the spot on the window to face the student, <<I’ll be very honest… Every child dreams of being All Might. Everyone looks up to that incredible powerhouse… The term “Hero” was meant to mean “one who saves others” but has twisted to mean only “one who fights villains.”. Nowadays, being a hero is not the same, they just fight villains and want fame for what they did, only a few heroes are still like the old generation.>>

<<We must fight villains, people can’t do it…>> comments Shouto, but Lenka corrects him immediately.

<<Wrong.>> he says with a strict tone, <<You must fight to help people, to give them the peace they want, not just because the evil is your enemy. A hero fights for the weak ones, a hero fights to make people believe, a hero is the bearer of hopes and dreams, a hero mustn’t pull back in front the danger, not matter what, and he is not afraid to give his life. Being a hero is a deal much bigger than you think.>>

<<No, wait (Y/N), don’t do it!>> Shuu is panicking when you put your head between his legs, <<You’ll hurt your back!>>

<<Nah.>> you stand up grabbing his thighs, <<Oh fuck, you’re heavy.>> moving with Shuu on your shoulders is not possible now, if you do it, both will fall.

<<(Y/N) me too! Me too!>> Tenka runs towards you and jumps on your arms princess style, <<Yay!>>

<<You guys… are too heavy….>> while the green twin says that he wanna try something, the others look at the group with a little smile on their lips.

<<You just described (Y/N), blondie.>> comments Joel looking at Tenka sitting on your shoulders while Shuu is the base of the tower, <<Indeed, (Y/N) is that type of hero. You know, Tenka is a big fan of heroes, he wanted to become one, but since he is quirkless, he was sad because his dream was broken. (Y/N) saved him, and all of us, with just a few words: “You don’t need powers if you can make people smile. People needs to smile to erase what is tormenting them, if you can do that, you saved a person. You are a savior even without a quirk, everyone can be a hero, with or without powers.” She was 9 years old when she said this to us.>> those words somehow hit Izuku deep inside his heart, he didn’t remember that those people are like he was before meet All Might.

<<She needed a hero, and that’s what she became.>> Lenka climbs on the edge of the window and looks at the others, <<I don’t know about you Joel, but I’m going to play with them.>>

<<You’re 22 years old, what are you doing?>> says the glacial man, <<Your brother is an exception though.>>

<<The oldest one is doing it, I can do it too.>> he jumps off and the U.A students see how agile he is, he is not injured and he just jumped off from the second floor… Is he Spiderman? <<I want some attentions girl, let me play too!>>

<<Do you see them, Yamato? Well, I assume that if you were here, you were the first one to play like a child.>> the man closes the window and faces the two students, <<I’m sorry that you came again for our (Y/N), Izuku. I apologize for the trouble.>> he bows sending Midoriya in his panic mode.

<<A-absolutely, don’t even say that Joel-san!>> he blushes and moves his hands quickly, <<I’m sorry that I couldn’t do anything to help her or Todoroki-kun, but I would come as many times as you need, I care a lot of (Y/N)-chan, she was the first one who fought back a friend of mine when I couldn’t, she is so caring and a lovely person… Helping her is my duty as a friend and a must if I want to be a hero… If I can’t help my friends, then I can’t be the number one.>>

“This kid… is dangerous.” <<I’ll escort you back at home as thanks.>>

Midoriya couldn’t say no, Joel is persistent so the freckled boy accepts his offer and greet Todoroki, saying that if something happens, he can call him since he lives not so far form there. Once they leave, Shouto sits on the garden and look at the little family playing stupid games, like throwing each other as high as possible and do as many acrobatics as they can.

“Shuu-san calmed her easily and I spent the entire night to do what he did in a few minutes. I guess it’s normal since they are together for a lot of time, but how they learnt to do that? She is smiling like nothing happened, how they did that? I wanna know it too… I want to be more reliable for her, I want to be strong enough to help her anytime…”

<<Honey, come and play with us!>> you stop in front of him, but he is thinking too hard that he doesn’t notice you at all, “I made him worried again… Ok, from now on, stay strong as always!” <<Guys!>>

<<On it!>> Tenka and Lenka pick the student and throw him in the sky, <<Do some cool moves kid! You were pretty athletic in the festival!>>

“How the heck they throwed me so high in the first place?!” when he’s in their arms again, he grabs their shirts so they can’t do that again, <<Do not->> Lenka and Tenka didn’t even listen to him and gift him with another trip, <<Listen to people when they talking to you, god damn twins!>>

<<Shouto!>> Shuu waves at him and points in a direction, <<Behind!>>

<<Boo.>> (Y/N) grabs him and stands still in the middle of the air, showing those beautiful blue wings, <<How is my prince?>>

<<How should I feel? I feel freaking useless…>> ok, that’s not what you thought.

“Light up the mood!” <<You surprised me yesterday when you danced with me.>> you smile at him with a cute blush, <<You are the most elegant dancer I’ve seen in my life. You were pretty neutral about the dancing at first, but you started enjoying it more as you got into it. I was happy that I didn’t bothered you.>>

<<Thank you…>> he looks at the view of the city from that high, <<You didn’t bother me at all. You were really beautiful in that dress; that was the first time that I saw you with pastel clothes, high heels and wearing make up, you surprised me too. And they way you danced, something about your entire body moves…>> he hopes that the dark night actually hides his blush, <<Just mesmerized me…>>

“Did I do it?” <<The children were so happy to see you, “the great U.A student with a beautiful and cool quirk came here?!”. Seeing all those little kids smiling so happily really inspire me to do more… Next time, I want to bring the entire class and All Might-sensei too. How they will react?>>

<<They were a little disappointed that I was the only one that came though.>> “Ok, now or never…” <<(Y/N), am I not reliable enough for you?>>

<<What are you talking about?>>

<<I mean, you never share with me your problems, and I can’t understand how you feel yet, so I appreciate if you clearly tell me if something is wrong, I want to help you as much as I can….>>

<<I tend to hide everything inside me because I’m afraid. I involved Yamato and how it ended? I don’t want to lose you too, not even if the world would end.>> you caress his forehead with your cheek, <<This huge fear forces me to do what I did, and I confess only if I can’t hide it anymore… It’s not because you’re not reliable, if you weren’t, I wouldn’t have told you my past, about Yamato or that stupid greedy family. I am just so scared to lose someone again, I know how fast is too…>>

<<Even if is painful or scary, tell me it anyway, we can find a solution together. I won’t leave you and I will try to open myself more too. Let’s do this new step together, ok?>>

<<Ok, then…>> you smile and spit out the first secret, <<I saw you singing and trying to play the piano.>>

<<Wha->> since you turned off your quirk, both are falling, “This girl will be the death of mine…” Shouto holds you and uses his ice to make a ramp and skates on it, but something goes wrong and now, both roll on the soft grass until everything stops.

<<Hahahaha, that was cool! Let’s do it again!>>

<<Let’s not…>> “Wait, the grass wasn’t so soft… Fuck, not again!” <<Sorry!>> he raises from your chest and tries to formulize a phrase, <<I, um…>>

<<Stay.>> little arms close around his neck and push him down again, <<You don’t like it?>>

<<…..It’s better….>> he grabs one of your hands and poses it on his head, like the other is intertwined with his, <<Like this….>>

“This voice that calls my name as if desperate to hear proof that I am here. Someone this strong and competent needs me…” you stroke his hair gently looking at the stars, “I didn’t have people I could call friends for a lot of time… When he shows me that he likes this kind of me, it feels good… At the same time, I can’t help but fell as if this is only a dream. I don’t know how much time I have to spend with him, I must treasure him and not let him see my weak side.”

<<Hey, your hands are magic or something?>> Tenka approaches you whispering, <<He is completely gone.>>

<<Eh?>> you raise a little your head and see Shouto sleeping peacefully, that’s why it was a little heavier, <<He is my soulmate, he can feel the love I put in my actions.>>

<<Take him back to the bed, he must be tired.>> Shuu holds the two twins since those are starting their stupid scenarios, <<Good night, (Y/N). Sleep well this time, that face was really terrible this morning.>> he leaves and drags the brothers along.

<<Yup, night to you too guys.>> moving slowly, you managed to put Todoroki on you back and give him a piggy ride to the bedroom. “He liked Joel’s songs… Today let’s put them then.” you change the CD on the stereo and press the play button.

---Continue...

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 21.5, 22, 22.5, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, Last Chapter

[lifechangerforchrist-blog]

You Are So Valuable, and until You truly comprehend this, You won’t be walking in Your full potential that God has for You. This is deep my friends, but it’s from the Heart. <3</p>

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and welłl-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12 Then you will call on Me and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear [your voice] and I will listen to you. 13 Then [with a deep longing] you will seek Me and require Me [as a vital necessity] and [you will] find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

In my mind as a child, I only saw myself as a survivor. Every day was another day to wake up and Hope and pray that I and our family would be able to have somewhat of whatever you would call a normal day. Which to us the norm was not your typical norm.

You see coming out of an abusive environment your self-worth, well to be quite honest with you, I really didn’t see any Value in myself. My thoughts were very poorly how I viewed who I was as a person. And to be quite frank about it, I lost my identity as a young girl. when you’ve been abused you seem to go into survival mode grasping at anything that will make you feel better, for me that was wanting to be anyone but “Ginger.” Always looking to others finding out what good qualities they had, so that I could take on those traits because know you everybody else was better than me. At least that's how my mind thought anyway. I always thought of myself as someone that was, less than, not enough, helpless, stupid and even ugly... Yes, that was the old me. Sad but very true. 

It wasn’t until I found JESUS, and started learning about what His word said about me! I never really understood How valuable of a person I was. It had to be revealed to me. Now, mind you, it didn’t happen over night. I had to dig deep and press in for several years until one day I really starting comprehending it. I diligently read it in FAITH until It became a Revelation to me!

 I encourage you to dig deep, get into God’s word daily, stay plugged into a good church that will teach you the infallible doctrinal truth of the word of God. Stay connected with people of Faith and in an environment where you will learn and grow. It isn’t always easy hearing the plain Truth, but my friend that is what it takes for your life to change.

People that genuinely love you, they will encourage you, pray with you and tell you what you need to hear not what will tickle your ears for a moment, you know the FEEL GOOD message. I thank God for all of those pastors, teachers, mentors, and people he put in my Life over the years that Helped me by praying with me, standing with me when I needed it the most. And now I can add Dr.s to my life! The Lord will put you on the right path where He will use those in your midst to help catapult you to the next spiritual level that he has for you! Don’t get weary keep pressing in. He sees where you’ve been and sees where you are, but better yet, He knows where you're going and what you are BECOMING IN HIM! PRAISE THE LORD!

One of the many things I’ve learned over the years is that CHRIST died for all! Once a person accepts Him as “Savior into their hearts, they receive His forgiveness and unconditional Love! “ Man, I can’t even describe How beautiful this new ground will be as You walk in His ways, and learn what His calling is for your life. Because there has been No Greater Joy, than serving my Savior! 

You see I have been bought with a price. I am no longer the same old Ginger that I once was. I have become a New Creation in Christ. I see myself differently than through the eyes of a little-broken girl, that thought there was no Hope for me. Who thought,  I had no place in this world or that I could be rewarded for anything that I could possibly make a difference in. That my friends is... so far from the Truth.  God’s rewards are rich and His blessings are continual to the overflowing and His Love and Blessings never run dry.

God has a plan for each and every one of us. He knows what we're becoming, we just need to trust Him and follow His voice and go where He tells us to go. We are “Life changers!’ I encourage you to stir up the gifts that He has so graciously placed inside of you.! You are important to the father, you are loved, you are treasured and He has so much in store for you. Don’t let anything deter you from that truth. <3

We might see Failure, other people might see failure, But God sees VICTORY because He see’s Beauty, Christ gave us Beauty for Ashes. Start seeing yourself the way God see’s you.”

<3</p>

Ginger Miller

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17  

 But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, 1 John 1:12 

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.  Ephesians 2:10

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  Romans 12:2

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Romans 5:1

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philipians 4:13

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.  John 15:16

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:20

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son,  Colossians 1:13

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

In whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him. Ephesians 3:12

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him. Ephesians 1:4

And who has also put his seal on us and given us his Spirit in our hearts as a guarantee.  2 Corinthians 1:22

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.  Ephesians 6:11

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life— the life was made manifest, and we have seen it, and testify to it and proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and was made manifest to us— that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete. This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. ... 1John 1:10

1John 5:14-15

  I do not boast on my thoughts or what other people say of me. My total confidence is In the one that bought me with a Price, His own Life He laid down. 

It totally disturbs me when I hear people talking about me, myself and I kind of success and having confidence in self. I mean we need to be built up and encouraged Lord knows we all need that. But our true self-worth only comes from who’s we are and who we are in CHRIST.