#2023's read harder is kids' play what is this
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wordsgood · 2 years ago
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you know you've been doing book riot's read harder challenge for a while when all of the challenges start to look like your average reading year anyway
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trashcatsnark · 4 years ago
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NGL I love how much you have embraced the silverv stuff here - its so nice to read. I submit for consideration, Rogue notices the tattoo while on the disaster date and both Johnny and V play it off as a joke and holy shit poor rogue stuck in a room with two morons.
Also - V getting dressed for that date and realizing they just MIGHT be a little jealous with a side of some thoughts of "Oh God Johnny Would NEVER Feel That Way About Me Gotta Bury This Deep So He Doesn't Know"
Johnny notices the anxiety but is very dense about the cause.
Oh hell yeah, I have fully embraced it and this ship; I was writing SilverV porn before the game came out, like I knew what my ship for this game was gonna be from the second I saw gifs of
“You’re a dick, Johnny” 
“And you’re a cunt, so maybe we’ll fit together after all.” 
That banter sealed my fate and I’m fairly sure I had named and created my V then wrote porn of her with Johnny literally a week later. The devil works hard, but my brainrot works harder and faster. 
Spoilers! 
Okay, so I’ve thought a lot about that date in both a silverv context (and largely how it fits with my V, Aidan and her fic) I’ll try to stay general though. 
Firstly, I whole heartedly believe Rogue sees through their bullshit. Not only is she just good at that, but Johnny even states she has MRE’s (?) and can see through people, like her eyes can pick up on signs of lying. And usually, thats not an issue for when V talks to her, but when she asks about Johnny and their relationship with him. Its a mess. And when Rogue asks Johnny about it, its a mess. 
And when Rogue notices the tattoo it’s like Oh... I get it . And Johnny is of course like, “hahaha, yeah I thought that’d be so funny, the kid hates it.” But Rogue isn’t stupid, she knows a lovey dovey heart with their names, something that looks like someone doodled it on their third grade notebook about their crush, is not really typical of Johnny’s “joking” She knows that if Johnny is not really the kind of guy to hahahaha its so funny to make it look like we love each other; he’d be more likely to get a dick tattooed on V’s arm if it was just to mess with them. For gods sake, look how many people didn’t pick “the other one” because they were convinced it was gonna be a dick. That’s a Johnny just trying to fuck with someone move. So, she doesn’t buy it, but doesn’t push it...with him. 
She asks V about and of course they play it off as “Yeah, Johnny thought it’d be funny, what a fucking asshole, its so fucking dumb, I totally fuckin hate it.” 
“So, why not get it removed?” 
“Uhhhhhhhhhhh, well you see what had happened was, um, I, just uhhhh, never been enough time, I guess yeahhhhhh.” 
Cause lets face it, in cyberpunk universe, getting a tattoo removed should be easy. If you can get blades in your arms and can have a completely newly reconstructed body in like an afternoon; you can get a tattoo removed in like twenty minutes. So, V still keeping it, says volumes about how they really feel.
Now, V’s jealousy and the date. 
I do absolutely agree that any anxiety or ill feeling V might have up until the date; Johnny is gonna feel, but not realize where it’s coming from. I think if anything, he’s gonna chalk it up to V being anxious about giving him control again and he’s gonna be like worried that maybe V doesn’t trust him as much as they let on. 
And I do think a V who has feelings for Johnny, would not be able to help feeling some jealousy regarding Rogue and Johnny. Just because jealousy is natural thing to feel and while you can debate if they were ever a good or healthy couple, you can’t debate they shared very real feelings for one another. And I think a lot of V’s jealousy would come from just how much Johnny seems to first think of/go to Rogue. When he needed to save Alt, first person he turned to, Rogue. When he wanted to bomb Arasaka tower (going by his memory of it and ignoring that the event was probably actually planned by Morgan Blackhand), who’d he go to? Rogue. When he becomes determined to get Smasher, who is he determined to get him with, Rogue. When he first decides to atone for his past mistakes, who’s the first person he wants to make up with, Rogue. When at the rooftop, who does he want to go grab to help him save V, Rogue. 
If you got feelings for someone, that’d hurt, I think it’s impossible for that not to spark some jealousy. And V if anything is also mad at themselves for having those feelings, because they like Rogue, she’s a badass, a legend, they respect the hell out of her. And of course they have feelings for Johnny and they wanna help him make shit right and they wanna give him a chance to enjoy himself. But this stupid reptilian part of their brain is screaming but i want to be the first person he goes to, the first person he thinks about, which they know is also stupid cause for fucks sake the man literally lives in their brain, they’re as close as two people can be and literally when Johnny has the power to go to someone for something, he can’t go to V because they’re reduced to sleeping essentially until Johnny hands back the reigns. Yet, feelings aren’t aren’t always, rational, sadly. 
And to Johnny’s credit, he probably doesn’t even give it that much thought. Rogue is a badass, someone he cares for, someone he can depend on and someone he hurt really badly. The two people he can and always has been able to depend on the most (other than Alt prior to her death) have been Kerry and Rogue. And, bless his heart, the fuck is Kerry gonna do? Kerry ain’t a merc, Kerry isn’t gonna bust into Arasaka Tower or plant a bomb. Kerry doesn’t have the connection to Smasher. So, of course, Rogue is gonna be his go to. And in terms of making things up to people...he literally cannot really do much to make things up to V, not the way he can for Rogue or Kerry. Cause, when him and V are both conscious, he can’t do much beyond touch and talk to them. Hell, even with Rogue and Kerry, he relies mostly on V to help him do anything. Even with people he can interact with and do something for; V is doing all the nitty gritty work for him. V drives Rogue to the theater, V breaks into the theater, V gets the projector going. V breaks into Kerry’s house, V disables the security. V gets in contact with Nancy. V gets Nancy out of Totentanz in one piece. 
Which probably if V actually thought about it critically, does mean he’s going to them and relying on them more than Rogue, but they’d probably dismiss it out of it being for necessity and not because he cares about them and feels he an depend on them. 
Anyhow, Johnny would probably love to do some nice gesture to make up for his bender to V, hell they probably were the first person he wanted to make things up since they are his catalyst for changing. But what feasibly can he do for them? Anything he’d want to do with/for them, would just be asking V go do this thing and i’ll also be here. Anything that would put them in public interacting is out, unless they want MaxTac called on V for looking cyberpsychotic. He can’t even do an at home date, because he can’t cook (engram or not) and he can’t buy them anything nice he has no money and also doesn’t technically exist. He could try to do so sneakily while he’s in control...but he’d be using V’s money so they might as well just buy it for themselves. he can play music for them,,. but that doesn’t seem too special and more than a little egotistical to think it’ll make V feel better about what he did... So... all he can really do, is prove he’s worth trusting by being on his best behavior and more importantly do what he can to save V’s life. 
Then there’s the date. And as usual, I have some opinions and feelings about a thing.  Like, okay, I’ve seen some people (aka Gamer Bros on Twitter) being like, Rogue is Johnny’s girl. Wanting to date either of them is wrong because they like each other. (then you also get the BUT ALT crowd, but rants for another day.) And I can’t help but ask, did we play the same date? Their entire date is about how they’re both desperately clinging to the past. Rogue is trying to reclaim 2013-2023 Rogue and Johnny just wanting for a night to feel like the world and his place in it haven’t been completely rearranged. And it ends with Rogue telling him, she is not that girl anymore, she can’t pretend to be, and frankly she doesn’t want to anymore. She wishes she could be, wishes she was still that tall haired street punk who’d never dream of working with corps or being a fixer, but she’s not. Her and Johnny are no longer the same people who met back in to 2010’s. Doesn’t mean they don’t care about one another and doesn’t mean what feelings they had weren’t real or important; but they’re just not those people anymore. Rogue more so than Johnny since he’s freshly on the course of change.   
Something else in regards to the date, that I think is important to talk about and how it relates to silverv and its something I personally have very conflicting feelings about. The fact that Johnny can initiate some physical intimacy with Rogue. See, I have never chosen the option to kiss Rogue during the date and actually did not learn until relatively recently, that if that choice is made it goes a biiit further than a kiss. I have watched the scene now.
And god I have mixed feelingssss. Like, I get it, but I’m not sure I like it. And I know full well, my silverv bias impacts my feelings on the matter, it’s be disingenuous to say otherwise. But I don’t think the ship is purely my reason for having these feelings. But at the end of the day, its all opinions. So, I get from a character perspective that Johnny and Rogue are trying so hard to reclaim their past and what they use to have that they get caught up in trying do what they would do if this was the 2010’s. And Johnny’s relationships as we’ve seen are very physical, sexual chemistry and attraction are major factors in his relationships because he kept things very superficial most of the time. He even says part of the issue with his relationship with Rogue is at the time he didn’t realize he could let her see the true him and still hid behind walls, kept things at a distance. So, the idea that’d they fall back into the old habit of trying to just be physical and ignore their feelings, isn’t out of character. 
However, and Johnny even seems to acknowledge this issue when Rogue interrupts it, they’re doing this with V’s body. V...who did not consent to sexual contact. They consented to a date and while one could logic that this would mean everything a date could entail up to and including physical intimacy; I would argue that that is something that would need further conversation to have clear consent. And like again, this might come down to boundaries and personal feelings. Because I go back to the bender and what’s been interesting to me is too see different opinions on it; some people weren’t actually bothered at all by Johnny’s bender in V’s body, some people were bothered by the drugs and alcohol specifically cause their V is straight edge. Me, personally, it was the sexual content and the endangering of V’s life. Like, it was mostly funny and oh yeah, I expected that it’s bad but eh I’ll move on, to me, until he started getting sexual with people in V’s body. Like that to me is not just crossing the line, it’s catapulting over it. 
And like I said, Johnny even responds to Rogue’s “this isn’t fair” with “what, you mean it’s not fair to V?” which she says she meant it isn’t fair to Johnny. (Which viscerally upset because you nearly used V’s body for sexual gratification without their consent and you’re worried about Johnny, which tbf Rogue has no way of knowing what V has and hasn’t consented to, so its not on her but that was my knee jerk thought). So, he has some awareness that maybe that was a bad move. 
And yeah, it definitely to me and my V would be a very bad move (unless he explicitly talked to them beforehand and got consent). And in general, it made me feel like, dude, you just promised you’d be better and not break V’s trust but again not a day later you’re nearly using them to have sex. It felt like a backslide, which isn’t necessarily unrealistic, cause change and growth is not always linear, people can commit to changing themselves and still fuck up and not get it right; in fact it’s rare for them not to have any sort of backsliding or repeating of mistakes. 
Again, I will also give credit that he could have been assuming that given V consented to the date, they assumed or were cool with their being physical intimacy between him and Rogue. He also generally, might not have really planned for it to happen, because I don’t think Johnny plans a lot of anything. It very well might have just sort of happened. Also, V doesn’t clearly communicate if the sexual component was an issue in the bender. All V really seems to have an issue with in game is the very general thing of; he misled them and used them. So, he might have assumed that wasn’t ever an issue. And hell, if you wanna go full meta, the player is technically the one who makes that choice and V is largely an avatar for the player, so that alone could be seen as whether or not V would/does consent. 
But, from a story perspective, removing the player choice element. I think how that’s handled would have a huge impact on silverv and where it goes from there. 
Because if V and Johnny did talk about consent prior and V did consent while having feelings for Johnny, god I’d have to imagine they’d still feel pretty hurt, but feel it’s irrational to feel that way and have put their own feelings aside because clearly Johnny cares about and wants Rogue and they should ruin what could be his one chance to make things right. 
If there like in game was no talk of consent and Johnny ends up kissing and touching on Rogue and V finds out or has memories of it surface,that could be devastating for them. Not only from their own feelings for Johnny, but this since of betrayal and hurt. Was the oil field conversation just a lie? A manipulation? V might feel like they were used; that Johnny never gave a shit about them or how they feel. And Johnny would have to deal with the realization that intentionally or not; he earned back V’s trust just to destroy it again. He fucked up again, he ruined everything again, he got his second chance and destroyed it…. And he doesn’t know how, if he can, or if he should bother trying to ask for a third. In general, I do think, V would come out of the date assuming (naturally so) that Johnny really only has romantic feelings towards Rogue, that they’re just a friend at best, a host to be used at worse. I even in my own universe with my V have them after everything is better, everyones got a body, expects Johnny to start pursing Rogue and trying to swallow their own feelings and be a supportive friend, try to encourage and push him to do it and Johnny’s just like please stop, Rogue is this close to murdering us both.
I was gonna add more funny stuff to this and include a shitposty interaction he has with my V over them dressing up for the date and shit, BUT HOLY FUCK THIS GOT LONG AND SAD????? I’M SO SORRY.
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buckysbitch107 · 4 years ago
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Home Isn’t Just A Place Part 2 | Steve Rogers x Reader
Summary: Life in 2023 is very different from your old life 80 years ago. Steve has caught you up on some of it, but there’s still so much for you to find out.
Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Slight Allusion to Habits of an Eating Disorder, Fluff, Nudity?
Word Count: 2.6K
A/N: Here’s part two of this small little series. Hope you like this one and I hope it meets your standards! I deeply apologize for not being active for a while. I am going to attempt to upload on a schedule, but school and mental health and COVID are all impacting my life in a negative way at the moment. I have been struggling with my bipolar disorder and depression, so I am in fact trying my best.
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“Winnie the Pooh.” Steve calls out, bending his head over the back of the couch to project his voice across the common room. A small gasp and running footsteps are the only sounds heard on that floor of the tower before your figure appears in the doorway of the kitchen and living room.
“POOH!” You squeal, throwing your arms up in the air, the material of Steve’s sweatshirt flopping over your hands. As soon as you found out that wearing your partner’s clothes in the 21st century was acceptable, you practically pillaged Steve’s closet of all sweatshirts and shirts in general. The past two and a half months have been full of learning pop culture and getting caught up with the 78 years you skipped, which included all things Disney. Nat giggles at your response to Steve’s words, and he holds up a finger before leaning his head back again.
“Y/N, what’s the most wonderful thing about tiggers?” He asks, a small smile forming on his face as you gasp and your eyes light up like a kid in a candy store.
“Well, the wonderful thing about tiggers is, that tiggers are wonderful things.” You explain, the smile sticking on your face as you continue reciting the song. “Their tops are made out of rubber, their bottoms are made out of springs. They’re flouncy, bouncy, trouncy, councy, fun fun fun fun fun! But the most wonderful thing about tiggers is that I’m the only one!” You flop down onto Steve’s lap as the finale to the song, and he quickly wraps his arms around you to protect you from falling off the couch.
“Told you she’s obsessed.” He mumbles to Nat, a frown appearing on your face as you overhear his words.
“Not my fault Walt Disney’s a genius.” Natasha silently agrees with you, the small nod she gives you making you pump your fists in victory. As Steve and Natasha continue their conversation, you lay in Steve’s lap and play with the dog tags hanging around his neck. He runs his hand through your hair, slowly lulling you to sleep.
~~~
“But-”
“No! I am on my break!” You exclaim, finishing your extra assigned duty of organizing the different bandages and gauzes.
“Y/NNNNNNN-”
“NO! How many times have I told you? Steve’s shield should not be used as a frisbee, and Redwing should not be used to divebomb your friends.” You screech once more, attempting to brush off the three dipshits you call friends, all with different ailments caused by the shield and the tiny robotic bird. 
“How did you know about Redwing?!”
“Part of Redwing is stuck in Buck’s arm.” 
“Ah.” Sighing once again, you motion to the table and try not to laugh as all three of them try to fit on the medical bench at once. The three men somehow all fit, squishing each other a little bit but eventually sitting normally. You look at the clock and sigh, knowing your break only lasts for another fifteen minutes. You start with Steve, cleaning off the bruises and cuts on his face, even though they’ll heal in a moment. Moving to Bucky, you pull his arm forward and begin carefully maneuvering the broken piece out of his upper arm. You tug. He flinches. Finally, the piece comes out of Bucky’s arm and the man sighs. 
“Thank you.” Bucky mumbles, flexing his fingers to make sure everything is still intact.
“Yeah, yeah.” You say, brushing him off with a small wave. “Don’t thank me until I’ve fixed the only purely human person in your idiotic triad.” Sam looks down at his feet and you chuckle, grabbing an antiseptic wipe and attempting to clean the cut from Steve’s shield.
“OW!”
“It would hurt less if you stopped moving!” This continues for what seemed like hours but was only a few seconds. You were finally able to clean and bandage the cut on Sam’s forehead and hand him some Tylenol for the other bruises after he stopped whining like a four year old. The three of them sat there for a little longer while you finished cleaning up and they thanked you, one by one heading out of the medbay. Steve lingered, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
“You’re adjusting really well. I’m proud of you.” He whispers.
“I know! I barely say gas anymore!” Steve smiles and kisses you once more before walking out after the other two. After putting away the bandages and tweezers, you sit down to actually enjoy your break, now shortened to ten minutes instead of thirty. You pick up the nearest magazine and start reading. Everything is going fine, until you reach the advice section of the magazine. And I thought the 40’s were harsh about women.
~~~
What you read in that magazine shook you a bit. You knew that beauty standards had changed over the years, but you didn’t know that they changed THAT much. Women were expected to be so much skinnier and healthier and plastic. After overhearing Steve tell Bucky he’d always liked a girl with a “good figure”, you began striving to look like the girls on the pages of magazines. Cooking healthier meals, working out more, even skipping meals sometimes to not pile on carbs. You realized it wasn’t the healthiest, but it seemed to be working. And yet every day, you looked in the mirror and loathed yourself a little bit more. On this mediocre day, you had just finished a run and were now looking for food when Wanda walked into the kitchen. 
“Hey Y/N!” She exclaims, walking over to you as you dug through the fridge. “What’cha making?”
“Oh nothing, just grabbing an apple for lunch.” You say nonchalantly.
“For lunch? Aren’t you gonna eat more than that?” She looks at you worriedly while you shrug and she sighs, pulling you closer to her so she can look at you head on. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“What do you mean?”
“An apple for lunch, working out when just three months ago you mentioned loathing it, and you’ve been skipping dinner with the team a lot. What’s going on?” You shrug once again and she pulls you over to the couch on the other side of the room before staring at you and gesturing for you to talk.
“Well- the future is really new and exciting, but it’s also scary. I picked up a magazine a while ago and it talked about body figures. And I know I don’t have the prettiest body but the future seems really harsh and then I overheard Steve talking to Bucky and saying he likes a girl with a good figure and I’m chubby and-” At this point, you begin to cry and hyperventilate as you vent your feelings to Wanda. She listens quietly as you rant about how you feel overweight and unlovable in the future, and how you think Steve is getting sick of you and might leave you for a different woman. A modern woman. A skinnier woman. 
“Oh you poor thing.” Wanda whispers, pulling you into a hug as you cry harder. She turns her head, a certain blond-haired man catching her eye as he stands quietly in the doorway. You continue to sob as Wanda glares at your still-fiance and rubs your back. They seem to communicate telekinetically before Steve nods and walks away, leaving Wanda to calm you down.
~~~
You slowly walk into the apartment you share with Steve, your medical bag slung over your shoulder. You slam the door behind you and take off your shoes, setting your bag next to the door. You’re about to stand up when a pair of hands clamps around your eyes. Gasping, you’re about to fight back when a familiar voice begins to shush you.
“It’s just me, it’s just me.” Steve whispers, causing you to relax a little while Steve loosens his hands a little bit. You start to speak as you attempt to pry his hands off your eyes.
“Why didn’t you say that? You nearly gave me a heart atta-”
“Don’t open your eyes!” He exclaims, scaring you once again. Steve can practically feel your heart begin to race once again. “I-I have a surprise for you.” You nod and he stands you up, leading you blindly further into the apartment.
“Should I be nervous?”
“I don’t think so.” Steve answers, leading you a little bit further before taking one of his hands off your eyes, sliding the other to cover both. You hear the balcony door open and wind rushes in as Steve leads you out onto what you assume is your balcony. He removes his hand and you quickly gasp as you look around you. The tiny balcony that had once only contained a single light was now covered in soft yellow fairy lights, a rug placed down instead of the harsh concrete and soft music playing. You quickly recognize this as the song you two danced to the night he proposed. The night he left. Turning around, you find him standing there with one hand out to you and a grin on his face. “May I have this dance?”
“Of course.” Steve quickly grabs your hands and pulls you closer. Resting your head on his shoulder, the two of you slowly sway to the beat of the song, the calming chaos of the streets of Manhattan now just a background noise in your tiny little bubble. You look up at Steve and he’s smiling down at you, occasionally mouthing along to the song. Quietly laughing once more, you decide to focus on the man in front of you, starting with his eyes. “Have your eyes always been this blue?”
“I mean, I think so. Kind of hard to tell.”
“Well they’re pretty.” He smiles at your compliment, and Steve hears you mumble something else. He doesn’t quite catch it all, but he does hear one word. Kids. The two of you dance for a little while longer before it starts to actually get cold, and the two of you head inside.
“I have one more thing.” He says, taking your hand and leading you to the bathroom. The two of you stand in front of the mirror as he slowly starts to undress you, and your mind goes in a whole different direction than what he’s planning. Steve finishes pulling off your clothes and instead of kissing you like you’d hoped, he moves you in front of him so you’re forced to stare at your reflection. You start to squirm as he looks at you, a small frown resting on his face. “I hear you talking to Wanda today.” He starts, immediately being cut off by your gasp.
“Oh god. I’m so sorry. None of that has to deal with you, it’s just me being stupid and-” You quiet down when Steve gives you that look, and he soon resumes talking. 
“You’re not stupid. Your reasoning is valid, but I want you to know that you have nothing to worry about. I will always choose you.” But what if you don’t? He can practically see the doubt on your face, so he pulls you closer to him and begins his original plan. Steve kisses the top of your head, lips pressed softly against your hair. “I love your hair because it’s part of you. It’s gorgeous and always seems to look perfect, no matter how much you criticize it.” And he continues doing that. Going slowly down your body and pointing out what he loves about every single part of your being. Once he reaches your thighs, however, you start to grow more self-conscious. How could he love something like that? It’s all cellulite. And yet he carries on.
“I love your thighs because they’re perfect to hold. Whether I’m dancing with you in my arms or having them squeeze my head, they’re perfect in every way. They’re perfect for me, because they’re a part of you.”
Every single body part, from the hair on your head to the feet attached to your legs (he didn’t kiss those, he said no thank you), was properly adorned with love from your fiance. By the time he finishes, there are tears in your eyes, and he stands up with a goofy smile on his face.
“I want you to know this, Y/N. I mean every word I just said. I love every part of you.” You nod slowly and he finally does what you’ve been waiting for. Steve kisses you softly before pulling away and beginning to run a shower. You stand there quietly until he’s done, and he motions for you to join him. Once the shower is warmed up, the two of you make your way in, simply staring at each other for the time being. Steve wraps his arms around your shoulders in a hug, the two of you just standing there silently under the water.
“I love you.” You murmur, some of your words blocked by his chest, the others getting through to him. Your fiance smiles and looks down at you, similar to the way he did outside.
“I love you too.” He gives you a kiss on the forehead before reaching behind you, grabbing your bottle of body wash and squirting some on his hand. Confusion crosses your eyes before he begins washing you, something he does every once in a while on special nights. Your fiance carefully moves his hands around your body, his actions calming from the very hectic day you had. He continues to do this with your shampoo and conditioner, movely slowly in order to not pull you from the beautiful land between sleep and consciousness. Once he finishes with you, Steve lets you rest against him as he takes care of his own shower routine. The one time he moves you is to rinse out your hair, making sure everything is out in order to not have to do it again. He knows how much you hate being woken up. 
~~~
Grabbing a towel, he carefully wraps it around your body, drying you off before repeating his actions on himself. The two of you exit the bathroom and you stand in the middle of the bedroom, your fiance moving around somewhere off to your right. Steve returns with his shirt and boxers for you to where, along with some boxers for himself. After getting dressed, the two of you brush your teeth and get ready for bed before finally falling into the wildly-made bed from this morning when the two of you were late. You cuddle into Steve’s side and wrap his arm around your shoulder, the man chuckling at your actions. The two of you sit there for a little longer before Steve turns to you.
“Y/N?”
“Hmm?”
“What did you say about kids earlier? After you asked about my eyes?” You stare up at him as you start to blush, and Steve nudges you to explain what you said.
“I said-” You pause. “I said that I hope our kids have your eyes.” You hear Steve gasp and you look down at his chest, the two of you never having the conversation of kids before.
“You-you want kids?” He asks, sitting up to be able to look you in the eyes.
“Of course I do! I’ve wanted them since forever, but back then, you said you were scared of them having your medical problems. And now it seems we kind of don’t have time for them with the whole saving the world thing and-” Steve cuts you off with a kiss, the both of you smiling and he pulls back first.
“I will make time for them.” He whispers, kissing you once more for good measure. “So,” He begins, sitting up a little straighter. “When do we want to start trying?”
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