#2018fics masterlist

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written in 2018 (2) Masterlist

part one

A Price to Pray - placingglaciers

Summary: In which Phil has a massive cliché crush on his writing tutor, the most popular guy at college, and gets invited to one of his legendary parties. One requirement though: Phil needs a plus one.

a stranger in a bar on valentine's day (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: it’s valentine’s day 2009 and phil meets an attractive and mysterious man at a bar

(TW) Angels In Your Room (ao3) - letspartyrightnow

Summary: Dan ran away from what he wanted because he was afraid and it was probably the biggest mistake of his life.

antisocialites watch a wilting flower (ao3) - throughtheirsnoses (det395)

Summary: Phil's an emotionally attached and loving vet and Dan's the drained receptionist with no dreams at the animal shelter who reconnect over the poor, hurt puppy dropped off. Dan's boyfriend is their boss.

Act Naturally (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Phil has a quiet life studying film at university and some small dreams of being a director he's mostly ignoring, but his whole life is turned upside down when his roommate signs him up for a game show and he meets the famously arrogant movie star Daniel Howell

call it fiction (ao3) - writtennotsung

Summary: Dan works in bookstore and Phil comes in with a request that makes Dan want to learn more about him.

Commas and Ampersands (ao3) - obliviongrace

Summary: Several lessons in grammar and linguistics from Phil. When Dan’s grandma dies, Dan and Phil must put their work on hold to travel to his family’s house, causing them to ponder on their choices.

Crushing On The Bad Boy - dxnhowell

Summary: In which Louise tries to help her best friend out by setting him up with his biggest crush, Phil Lester, the bad boy Quarterback on the football team. They’re total opposites, but Louise thinks Dan has a chance with him. However, things don��t exactly go to plan.

Fresh Paint (ao3) - freckliefeeling

Summary: "It’s just a house, they have to keep reminding themselves. Just a house, but it feels bigger."

From London to Paris (ao3) - animad

Summary: Dan and Phil meet interrailing through Europe.

Give Yourself A Try - analester

Summary: Phil Lester thinks he is straight. At least until he gets to uni and meets Dan Howell. Being gay is extremely frowned upon, so Phil tries his best to stay away from Dan, but it becomes difficult when his professor asks Dan to tutor him. Afraid of being shunned by his friends and family, Phil tries his best to suppress his feelings, but how can he when Dan is so pretty?

How To Be A Sexy Nerd (ao3) - adorkablephil (kimberly_a)

Summary: “If you want something, just do it, Phil.”

If You're In (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: On Skype in 2009, Dan starts asking Phil questions about what it's like to be with a man.

i'm giving you all of my love (ao3) - localopa

Summary: phil is 5 years sober and dan thinks it's just a party to celebrate it.

Keep It Down (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase (BirbWatcher)

Summary: Phil wants a quiet life. That's all he's asked for. He doesn't want the new neighbour to blast music at him at 2 in the morning, so if he would kindly stop then that's all Phil needs

lost but found (a fanfic that lowkey sounds like smut on the downlow but isnt i promise) (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: dan loses his soulmate, phil never had one but he's trying his best, the following is what ensues, its p gay.

Over The Edge. (ao3) - heyitsnxel

Summary: Who knew that falling in love would end up being something so literal?

Phil's Victory (ao3) - Do_it_with_the_Howell_Lesters

Summary: Phil is bad at Fortnite so Dan tries to motivate him with a one-night only offer.

Properly (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Dan's been trying to take advantage of the all-hours pool for a late night swim, but some guy always shows up before him.

Red letters and Love confessions - philbyte-fanfic-blog

Summary: Dan has been writing letters to Phil for many years, so what happened when Phil comes across one. 

Red, Lies and ‘I Love You’s (ao3) - philsdrill

Summary: Phil and trans!Dan are at Playlist Live and run into a complication when Dan gets his period during a meetup. Phil and Louise come to the rescue.

Repose (ao3) - Allthephils

Summary: Phil’s spent 5 years trying to forget about the time he spent with Prince Daniel. When a generations old curse leaves Dan vulnerable and in danger of being lost forever, Phil may be the only one who can help him.

scratches on your body so you can take me wherever (ao3) - yoongioss

Summary: "Oh, your nails are really long? Are you growing them out?"

Dan glances down at them and raises his eyebrows like he didn't look at them just this morning.

Speaking Truthfully (ao3) - Junebug1312

Summary: The universe decided it was time for Phil to start telling the truth. No matter if he wanted to or not.

Stray Cat (ao3) - Elleberquist6

Summary: Phil Lester believes that if he does good things then good things will happen to him, so on one of the worst days of his life he invites a rain-soaked Neko boy named Dan into his home. Phil has never met a Neko before and he knows nothing about the dark system that has molded Dan. Dan is part of a repressed population with few rights, and as Phil gets to know him he can’t understand why – Dan is the most amazing person he has ever met.

Sweet Tooth (ao3) - phantasizeit

Summary: Searching for a new beginning in London, Dan stress-bakes to cope with his blundering through the adult world. Luckily, his hot, older neighbor, Phil, has a sweet tooth.

take me out to the ball game - jilliancares

Summary: Dan finds himself shown on the kiss-cam with the man he’s just decided he hates.

The One Where Phil Teaches Dan to Skate - gorgeousdan

Summary: Dan spends a summer week in 2010 with the Lesters.

Wait For Me to Come Home - manchestereyes

Summary: The story of Dan and Phil, as told by their Starbucks sofa. (Or, the bits of it that the sofa could catch anyway.)

We Made These Memories For Ourselves - sleeplessnightwithphan

Summary: Phil had only just gotten to meet Dan, had just has the best days of his life with him. Now, he has to watch helplessly as Dan has to get on the train to go back home, go away from Phil once more.

[themculibrary]

Fics Written In 2018 Masterlist

A Marriage of Inconvenience (ao3) - WhinyWingedWinchester loki/tony, natasha/thor, odin/frigga M, 80k

Summary: Forced into an arranged marriage with Prince Loki of Aysgarth, Tony knows that he is not the ideal husband to the son of a king, but he still hopes that he might find true love with his husband like the stories he loves to read of adventures and happily-ever-afters.

Prince Loki, however, does not wish to be married, and he makes this clear to Tony even after their vows have been said before the priest. Life is no better for Tony in Castle Aysgarth than it was back in Iron Reach - he is as unwanted by Loki as he was by his father.

But slowly, things change. There is a steadily growing affection between them, something that might, perhaps, grow into more and Tony can only hope his love for Loki might one day be returned.

But then an assassin strikes unexpectedly, pirates attack, and Tony very well might be living an adventure from one of his books, but it looks like happily-ever-after might be too much to hope for.

At Face Value (ao3) - lambchop33 steve/bucky E, 64k

Summary: Steve Rogers is leading what he thinks is a pretty normal life in Sanctuary, a bustling city with a large population. And a big wall around it. He has a good job and good friends. Totally and completely normal--except for the face he sees in his dreams. Every night. The face of a stranger. One he's hopelessly attracted to. When that stranger unexpectedly drops into his life in the form of Bucky Barnes, Steve's got to figure out what it all means, and how to handle it when his totally normal life suddenly is anything but that.

Can We Bring Yesterday Back Around? (ao3) - glitterfics clint/steve E, 39k

Summary: When he got back from New Mexico, Clint was given the incredibly boring task of watching the newly defrosted Captain America adjust to modern life. He didn't expect it to lead to a misunderstanding, an impromptu make-out session and a blown mission. But that's alright because he was unlikely to run into Steve Rogers again. Right?

Fate Will Play Us Out (ao3) - steveandbucky steve/bucky M, 30k

Summary: Bucky has landed himself a job with Stark Industries. He doesn't know yet that the job is actually being the PR manager for the Avengers.

Bucky has also started dating Steve Rogers. He also doesn't know yet that Steve is Captain America.

Bucky's life is about to get a whole lot more exciting.

Finding Home (ao3) - ruffaled rhodey/sam T, 5k

Summary: The world is ending. Again. And after being on the run for three years, as an internationally wanted fugitive, Sam Wilson finally gets to go home.

Forms of Love (ao3) - bear_bell bucky/tony E, 33k

Summary: Months after the Avengers' dispute in Germany, the team returns to the US and moves back into the tower. As always, everyone pretends that nothing happened. Tony is just fine with this. He's used to pretending, and he'll be damned if he lets any of them see him flinch.

Tony's the bad guy, after all. He's used to it. He's fine with it. He's good at it.

Only now, there's something far worse loitering around the tower - The Winter Soldier. No one notices the guy at first, but when they do, Tony figures that he should have the soldier's back.

Birds of a feather should flock together, and the bad guys should start a book club.

Let it Be (ao3) - lucifersfavoritechild tony/stephen T, 15k

Summary: While dealing with his son's car accident and a rapidly-dissolving marriage, Tony is drawn to Peter's surgeon, Dr. Stephen Strange.

no one id rather be stuck with (ao3) - angelheartbeat bruce/thor G, 4k

Summary: Whilst on a diplomatic meeting with government officials, Thor and Bruce get stuck in the building elevator.

One Hell of a Show (ao3) - MillyVeil pepper/tony E, 44k

Summary: Tony gets kidnapped for ransom and Clint gets nabbed with him. It’s rough for them both.

Raise Your Glass (ao3) - minkeys steve/bucky E, 10k

Summary: Bucky knows Steve in ways that his 21st century friends could never even begin to imagine. Or at least, they couldn't until tonight. It's about time somebody corrected all those historians that painted Steve as a straight-laced, God-fearing soldier, and what better way to do it than over a harmless game of "Never Have I Ever." What's the worst that could be said?

Rise Up (ao3) - Wix stephen/tony N/R, 52k

Summary: Tony leaves the Avengers in the wake of Ultron when he refuses to standby and approve of their choices. Fate's quick to step in though and show that where one door closes, another one just might open.

Showdown (ao3) - shatteredhourglass bucky/clint, steve/tony T, 13k

Summary: Bucky was happy for Steve, he was. But did he and Tony have to be so disgustingly romantic all the time? // In which Bucky is tired of Steve and Tony's antics and Clint suggests revenge, which turns out with an additional bonus.

Some Great Reward (ao3) - Kiyaar steve/tony E, 5k

Summary: After the events of Captain America: Civil War, Tony and Steve come to an agreement. It doesn't involve affection.

Tribute Given, Treasure Gained (ao3) - sphagnum steve/tony E, 12k

Summary: “Steve,” the Captain said, hand over his chest.

Tony licked his lips. Was he supposed to give his name, or remain silent until he was asked a direct question? The Captain--Steve, apparently--already knew his name, he had to, it had been included on the settlement he and Stane had signed. Was this a test? Time was passing and Steve was still waiting with his hand on his chest but Tony had to figure out the right answer fast or when Steve moved he might--

“Tony,” he blurted.

“Tony,” Steve repeated. He hadn’t come any closer. He said something short that might have been pleased to meet you or you look good on your knees. Tony had no way of knowing and he wasn’t going to risk echoing it. He kept quiet. See, Howard? I do know how to shut up when my life depends on it.

what if there is no tomorrow? (ao3) - iron_spider pepper/tony

Summary: "Tony, talk to me. What's going on with you? You're freaking us out."

Tony keeps making his snow angel. He moves his arms and legs back and forth and stares up at the bright blue sky until Peter moves a little closer, eclipsing the sun. He narrows his eyes and stares down at him like he's insane.

Because he is insane.

"Peter," Tony says, beginning the conversation he's had so many times before. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course," Peter says.

"We're in a time loop. I'm Bill Murray. I remember everything, you guys don't, we're...we are trapped. We're trapped, buddy. I've done this over and over. And over. And over and over and over. I don't know how to fix it. So I'm...giving up. I make snow angels now. And that's it."

Who Saves The Hero (ao3) - CamelotQueen T, 15k

Summary: May brings home her new boyfriend. Something about him makes Peter feel nervous, but he makes May happy. And if May's happy, then Peter is happy.

Then it escalates.

worth fighting for (ao3) - icoulddothisallday, TetrodotoxinB clint/natasha E, 13k

Summary: Clint and Nat decide to take their relationship to the next level. It doesn't go like either of them had hoped.

Wrapped Up In Clover (ao3) - FestiveFerret steve/tony, clint/phil T, 54k

Summary: It's been seven years since Steve and Tony split up, and Steve's sure he'll never see Tony again. He's finally managed to put their failed relationship behind him and move on, focusing on his friends and building his business. But then his best friends, Bucky and Clint, decide to get married, and their wedding week at a cabin resort in Vermont turns into a minefield of heartbreak for Steve.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written In 2018 Masterlist

Always gonna want you back (ao3) - bewareofcamels calum/ashton G, 4k

Summary: They called it a "mental-health" - break over social media, even though it was more of a "Ashton broke up with Calum and now we kind of have a problem band wise" - break!

Burn My Lungs, Curse My Eyes (ao3) - orphan_account calum/ashton T, 7k

Summary: "I've been trying to help him quit, though."

or, the one where ashton helps calum quit smoking.

Chasing White Light (ao3) - merlypops michael/ashton, luke/calum, michael/luke M, 89k

Summary: In his fight to discover the truth about their new home, Michael must do everything in his power to stay sane... but when holding onto his fragile sanity means letting go of Ashton, Michael isn't sure it's worth the cost.

fool’s gold (ao3) - orphan_account calum/ashton, michael/luke, calum/oc M, 28k

Summary: the one where Calum is struggling with an abusive relationship and all he can think about is Ashton, who is across the world and probably doesn't even remember making Calum fall helplessly in love with him when he was sixteen.

Kiss Me Like You Love Me (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke M, 9k

Summary: Luke is super heartbroken about the relationship michael and he shared years ago. He writes and writes but he can't seem to find it in him to write what he means. aka how Why Won't You Love Me was written

Life of the Party (ao3) - NamineNobodyKiari luke/calum M, 82k

Summary: Ashton Irwin was in love with his cousin’s best friend, Michael. The problem with that was that Michael only saw him as one of the guys.

When Ashton comes back from summer vacation with a brand new look, suddenly he is catching the eye of everyone around him, including Michael. Soon Michael shows just how jealous he can be, causing Ashton to pull farther away.

After attending a party thrown by someone he just met, Ashton finds a new group of friends, as well as a new romantic interest. The more time he spends with these new friends though, the more jealous Michael seems to become. And why is he just now finding out about things that his original friends have apparently been keeping from him?

Follow Ashton Irwin as he struggles to deal with life as a high schooler, new and old friends, as well as trying to stay mentally stable.

Made For Fevering (ao3) - Anonymous michael/luke, calum/ashton, ashton/luke, calum/luke M, 13k

Summary: "It was easy, making Luke blush. Michael loves it." / Muke-centric one-shots with some Lashton and Cake tossed in. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

perfectly fine… (not) (ao3) - lovelymuke michael/luke T, 7k

Summary: In which Luke is sick, stubborn and trying to deal with his problems on his own. Michael is unaware, exhausted and honestly kind of, just a little bit, sick of Luke’s shit.

right in no time (ao3) - lovelymuke michael/luke T, 6k

Summary: Michael’s sick and he stumbles into the middle of a family gathering in the Hemming's household on a hot summer's day.

Luke tries his best to take care of him with tea, soup and bubble baths, because isn’t that what boyfriends are for?

Run. (ao3) - JetBlackSunshine M, 18k

Summary: Late one night in the pouring rain a train creaks to a halt altering the course of the life everyone once knew. Suburban streets become battlegrounds and passing strangers become allies. Sometimes all you need to do is run.

Silver Ecstasy (ao3) - lonik michael/ashton E, 4k

Summary: “Can I just,” Ashton starts. He’s never asked for this before. It always seemed weird, to want something in his mouth with no intention of getting anyone off. It seems almost counterintuitive to what he’s been taught. But the thought of it, of having something in his mouth of Michael’s that he doesn’t have to work to maintain, makes Ashton's head spin. Michael, though, will always give Ashton what he needs.

Valentine (ao3) - gardener luke/ashton, luke/omc M, 8k

Summary: Luke was always crying about Valentine, and angry with him. He was always yelling on the phone, whenever the man had fucked somebody else, and would cry and cry and cry until the tears were just… gone. Ashton couldn't take it anymore. He needed this to change, needed everything to be okay again.

War of Hearts (ao3) - dontpanicmuke michael/luke N/R, 9k

Summary: Then Luke finally let go of Michael and it felt like his head had been dumped in a bucket of ice cold reality. Luke said, “You were unbalanced and your back was exposed. You opened yourself up to an easy attack,” Luke took Michael’s sword from where it dropped to the floor, “I think that’s it for today. We can continue some other time.”

Michael stood there with slightly shaking legs as Luke put the swords away. Noticing the way Luke’s white tunic stuck to his back due to sweat. And the way he’d opened a few buttons down the shirt to expose a slightly hairy chest.

Luke walked back brushing slightly past Michael, who caught a slight scent of rosemary, “Follow me to my bedchambers. I think I’d like help getting ready for bed tonight.”

It was a miracle Michael’s legs didn’t collapse right then and there.

where the angels sing (ao3) - fermentedpotato michael/luke N/R, 79k

Summary: the one where Michael's illness gets in the way of almost everything and Luke takes a long time to open up

You Lit a Match with Your Nails on my Back (ao3) - macandgay michael/luke M, 3k

Summary: Michael snickers, “Shut up. I don’t fucking know. I never scratch peoples backs.” But he follows Luke’s request anyway, almost digging his nails into the cool skin and gliding them down his best friend’s side.

“Mhm.”

“Don’t bust a nut on me.”

“Shut up dumbass,” Luke snorts, blushing immediately. He was glad it was dark or Michael would probably tease him even more. “Just feels good. Don’t stop.”

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written In 2018 Masterlist

Links Last Checked: September 14th, 2022

part one

A Kiss In The Dreamhouse - allthephils

Summary: Dan’s not worried about the dreams he’s been having. He’s got them all figured out. It’s simple really and it’s definitely not anything that he’s kept buried for years, nothing that he’s afraid to face.

Bury Your Flame - botanistlester

Summary: (tw) After receiving a dragon egg when his grandfather passed away, Phil is forced to ask for help from the local dragon tamer. As he soon finds out, Dan Howell is nothing he’s been expecting. Infuriating, ludicrous, and completely lacking respect, Dan is everything Phil hates. But Phil will do anything to make his grandfather proud, even if that means getting help from the local cluck.

Flares - huphilpuffs

Summary: Dan’s body has been broken for as long as he can remember, and he’s long since learned to deal with it. Sort of. But when his symptoms force him to leave uni and move into a new flat with a stranger named Phil, he finds that ignoring the pain isn’t the way to make himself happy.

Learning to Love, (Again) (ao3) - wekingsandprettythings

Summary: Dan was made a single Dad when he was just 16. Nearly 11 year later, after putting his love life on hold, he meets another single and super hot dad. Somehow a sleepover for their kids leads to something neither of them expected.

Love Yourself - imnotinclinedtomaturity

Summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut.

Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista.

Palpitations (ao3) - ordanary

Summary: Dan and Phil meet as neighbours, grow up as best friends, and mature as something more. Knowing that things change and people grow, Phil isn’t at all scared for what the future may have in store for them.

Six Ravens (ao3) - iihappydaysii

Summary: Dan meets Prince Philip at a cyberbullying campaign, but what starts as a working relationship grows complicated when Dan realizes he’s falling for the prince and maybe, just maybe, he’s not alone in his feelings.

Slow-Closing Doors (ao3) - knlalla

Summary: SECRETS, DRAMA, BETRAYAL (okay no betrayal dw).

Phil's agreed to be an RA for his floor this year at uni, and he's determined to be the best RA ever - after all, this is these students' first year, he wants them to have the best year ever.

Some Kind Of Folliful - danfanciesphil

Summary: Dan has one friend, and only because he was forced into it. Phil is loud, excitable, and irritatingly happy all of the time. Phil seems to find Dan's perpetual attitude funny, and despite Dan's best efforts to shun him and everyone else, wants to be around him all the time. That is, until Phil starts talking about Amanda Jones.

St Anthony's Secondary is a school divided by class. Their town is split down the middle, quite literally, by a railroad that separates the affluent families from the destitute. Dan is on the very outskirts of the poor side. He has one friend, and no desire to make any more, nor to buy into the sickening popularity and wealth contest of his peers. He thought Phil felt the same. And then, out of the blue, Phil develops a worrying obsession with a girl from the other side. She embodies everything Dan hates; he tries to explain this to Phil, to no avail. As his obsession with Amanda grows, as does Dan's loathing for her. Still, it shouldn't bug Dan this much to see his friend pine some braindead bimbo relying on her boyfriend's wallet. So why does it?

Strangers (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: dan is new to london and living in a mostly empty flat, desperate to forget the mistakes of his past. he’s all alone – until one day he gets a piece of mail addressed to someone in the neighbouring flat, one mr. philip lester. he can’t exactly not return it, can he?

Teenagers (ao3) - dizzy, waveydnp

Summary: When Phil's family packs up and moves to a new house in a new neighbourhood, he's fully prepared to be lonely and miserable. And he is.

Until he meets the boy who lives across the street.

The Boy and The Girls Are In, I Mess Around With Him (ao3) - wekingsandprettythings

Summary: Dan’s always been a bit of a slut and Phil’s always wanted to fuck Dan. When Dan finds out Phil also likes boys, he takes him to a gay bar to find someone to take him home, only it doesn’t quite end up the way they thought it would. Song fic from Harry Styles' Medicine

The Path of Righteousness (ao3) - TwistedRocketPower

Summary: At six years old, with his parents by his side, Daniel Howell was led through the entrance of the spiritual society God's Guard. Raised under the leadership of The Chosen One, Joshua, this community was all Daniel knew. No matter what anyone said, God's Guard was not a cult. It wouldn't matter if it was one anyway, because there wasn't anything or anyone who could take him from this place.

"The Perfect Match" (ao3) - mollieblack

Summary: Just because Phil is an Alpha doesn't mean he's obsessed with finding an Omega. In fact, he believes strongly in true love, and has no wish to 'peruse the selection' of Omega slaves in this society that views them as nothing more than property.

Unfortunately an Alpha child of a rich family can't put off bonding forever, and when Phil's mother has had enough she decides to send him to an island where he will compete on a Reality TV show to find his 'Perfect Match'.

What should happen when he runs into the one Omega who seems to want nothing to do with him, and says that love doesn't exist?

The Pianist Everyone Is Talking About… Is My Husband (ao3) - natigail

Summary: YouTuber pianist Daniel James Howell is thrown into mainstream media’s awareness with the release of his first album. Phil works at BBC Radio 1, who increasingly play Dan’s songs more and more often, and he couldn’t be prouder of his husband. However, no one knows that Dan and Phil are married as they have chosen to keep their relationship private.

By accident, Phil is thrust into his husband’s fandom when his colleagues learn that he likes the pianist. Phil isn’t sure how to tell everyone that he’s actually married to the guy everyone is either praising or swooning over.

Too Tense to Be Undone - auroraphilealis

Summary: Dan’s never had an orgasm before. Despite being in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend for three years, he’s just never been able to finish. The doctor’s don’t know what’s wrong with him, so Dan’s mostly put it out of his mind. Until his gap year, when he starts talking with AmazingPhil, and accidentally admits that he’s never come before. Phil’s happy to help with more than just convincing Dan to post YouTube videos, if Dan will just give him the chance.

Tumble Into His Arms - nebulous-frog

Summary: Dan is a swing dancing instructor that teaches a confused and clumsy Phil how to dance. Cue tripping and falling, flirting, and some teasing from some friends.

What Dawn Brings Us (ao3) - watergator

Summary: After the events of a devastating apocalypse, Dan and Phil learn that in order to survive, they must leave the comfort of their home and venture out into the new changed world to start their lives over. together.

What day is it? (ao3) - knlalla

Summary: It's the first day of the semester, and it's already gone to shit: Dan's late to his first class, finds out his mortal enemy, Phil Lester, is the TA, and gets rejected by the girl of his dreams, but at least tomorrow's a new day...right?

Aka the one where Dan and Phil are stuck reliving the same day over and over and can't figure out why.