#2018 at 10:27PM

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Trumpland

Trump’s New Brand of Woman is Mean, Loud and Ugly

FROM THIS...

Once he had a Praetorian guard of 5-foot-ten blonde relatives. Things have recently taken a turn—and not for the better.

Nell Scovell

Updated Sep. 17, 2024 2:28PM EDT Published Sep. 17, 2024 1:27PM EDT 

The last time a woman said “I love you,” to Donald Trump, his wife Melania was probably miles away.

More likely, these three little words escaped from the cartoonish lips of Harley Quinn’s less sane sister Laura Loomer. A recent guest on Trump Force One, Loomer is quick to express her deep love for the “greatest president ever.” Then again, she also once believed that “bad fajitas. . . will kill you faster than COVID.”

Trump, the great dealmaker, has truly traded down. His 2016 women’s circle fell in line with The Trump Organization’s corporate branding as “bold, beautiful and glamorous.” Sure, Melania was a birther, but she didn’t shout her opinions. There was a quiet elegance to the former First Lady’s racism. And while Ivanka never deserved the job of Senior Advisor to the President, she showed a polish that made it seem like she could hang with world leaders even as they rolled their eyes at her.

Loomer Denies Affair With Trump in Toxic Rant Against HarrisLOOMEY TUNESWill Neal

Still, “bold, beautiful and glamorous” was exactly what Trump hoped to project in June, 2015 when he floated down to earth from his penthouse triplex with his model wife Melania perched on the escalator in front of him like a Rolls Royce hood ornament.

In that announcement of his candidacy, Trump said point-blank, “I’m really rich.” He also said horrible things about immigrants.

The image he presented was clear: he was a man to be feared…and envied.

When Trump announced his run in June 2015, waiting for him at the bottom of the golden escalator was a family entourage. Now only Lara (second left) remains.

Christopher Gregory

Former model Vanessa Trump, then married to Donald Trump Jr., stood in the background, forcing a smile for the camera and all dressed in black. A cry for help? Perhaps. By 2018, Vanessa Trump had filed for divorce.

So apparently unaccustomed to his wife’s presence was he that when she appeared on stage at the RNC, Trump seemed surprised.

Marco Bello/Reuters

The loss of these three women has left an approximately 5’ 10,” shapely hole in Trumpland. Nature abhors a vacuum and into those breaches have ridden the three horse-faced women of the apocalypse: Laura Loomer, Lara Trump, and Kimberly Guilfoyle. Suddenly, Trump’s brand of “bold, beautiful and glamorous” turned loud, mean and unappealing.

In head to head comparisons, they show how Trump’s standards have dropped. And as Trump heads into the final sprint of 2024, it is fair to say that in this election, he is feared more…and envied less.

From Ivanka Trump to... Lara Trump

Where once it was Ivanka who boasted about demale empowerment at his side, now Trump has no public support from his daughter and instead it is his daughter-in-law Lara who speaks up for him.

Ivanka Trump walked into the White House vowing to increase jobs and opportunities for women. Instead, her administration wiped out almost two generations of women’s progress and (thanks to the justices it appointed) stripped away reproductive rights. In her defense, Ivanka always looked pretty.

The new model of Trump woman is loudly, literally, in her support of the former president, physically demonstrative, and definitely less discreet (in every sense) than their predecessors.

Like Trump, Lara enjoys calling attention to herself. She has shared videos of her fitness routine and an a cappella version of Tom Petty’s “Won’t Back Down” that she sang on Australian TV. On that show, Lara claimed that she was not “seeking a music career” (wise!) but has since released another music video with Madeline Jaymes (unwise!) “Hero,” a tribute to firefighters, is a cringey mess where Lara sings, “You’re climbing up the ladder/And the screams are getting louder.” “Ladder” and “louder” do not rhyme and this lyric should be considered a crime against Stephen Sondheim and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

With Lara representing Trump womanhood, the poise is gone. Elegance has been replaced by mud-slinging. On her internet talk show “The Right View,” Lara read out a viewer question that accused her of being stupid. She clapped back, “What is stupid is voting for a party that hates you and hates this country. What’s stupid is voting for a party that ultimately wants the destruction of America.”

In a sense, she’s right.

From Melania Trump to... Laura Loomer

On the left, an immigrant-turned-First Lady who kept the racism in the background. And on the right, the woman who denies an affair with Trump and for whom the racism is the point.

At past 9/11 memorials, Melania has stood by her husband and looked sad. She is very good at that. But last week, Trump ditched Melania and brought crackpot conspiracist Laura Loomer to a 9/11 event at Ground Zero. This was a new low for Trump who once falsely boasted that after the destruction of the World Trade Towers, he now owned the tallest building in Lower Manhattan.

That same week, Loomer accompanied Trump on his private jet to the debate and joined him in the spin room. Trump later claimed on Truth Social that “Laura Loomer doesn’t work for the Campaign,” which suggests she was traveling with him for personal reasons, perhaps as a friend or as Bill Maher has conjectured, a friend with benefits. (Loomer has denied that she and Trump are lovers.)

Loomer traveled with Trump on his private Boeing 757 to the presidential debate in Philadelphioa; his wife Melania did not. She has not been seen at his side since the RNC in July.

Loomer bragged that Donald Trump Jr. has floated her name for press secretary which she said would be “great,” but what she’d love even more, she explained, was “some type of position where I could vet people.” See, Loomer’s praise for Trump is boundless—he’s “brilliant,” “generous” and “loyal,” but, as she notes, “nobody’s perfect.”

“He doesn’t necessarily always have the best judgment when it comes to the people he surrounds himself with,” Loomer told James. “Because we saw a lot of grifters.”

That’s why Loomer wants to vet people—to keep away the grifters and, as she said, “Show them, ‘No, you’re an opportunist…or you’re married to this person who’s actively working against Donald Trump.’” (Shiv to Kellyanne Conway. Ouch.)

Loomer isn’t shy about telling Trump that she loves him. And he has returned Loomer’s love, showering her with accolades, letting her know she’s “fantastic” and “amazing.” He’s even offered the highest praise that Trump can give to a woman, singling out Loomer in the crowd and telling her, “You look so beautiful…as always.”

She may not be blond or tall, but Loomer is definitely Trump’s type: unapologetically racist.

From Vanessa Trump to... Kimberly Guilfoyle

As his father’s female entourage has degraded, Don Jr. has gone from having his wife Vanessa quietly at his side to being the fiancé of Kimberly Guilfoyle, best known for the sheer volume of her public speaking.

Vanessa and Don. Jr. split in 2018 after 12 years of marriage and five kids. Vanessa continues to support her ex-father-in-law and showed up at the RNC to cheer on her 17-year-old daughter, Kai. Nine months after the breakup, Don Jr. started dating Kimberly Guilfoyle, the attention-seeking, liberal-hating former wife of California Governor Gavin Newsom.

Like Lara and Loomer, Guilfoyle revels in the spotlight. As the national chair of the Trump Victory Finance Committee and self-described “proud Latina,” she is often called upon to give speeches. Her style is distinctive. She starts at full volume and rises from there. She ends every sentence with an exclamation mark. She could wake the dead.

This was Guilfoyle in full flight at the RNC in Milwaukee, belting out her love of Trump and the MAGA creed.

That’s ugly behavior and, sadly, no cosmetic procedure can reverse it.

Now according to The Daily Mail, Guilfoyle appears to be on the way out with reports that Don Jr. has been spotted kissing socialite Bettina Anderson. Anderson is a graduate of Columbia with a degree in art history and a megawatt smile. On her IG account, she posts old jokes from Reddit as if she thought of them herself: “Me at a cocktail party: “Do not touch” would be scary to read in braille don’t you think?”

In another IG post, she writes, “having adhd + anxiety is RIDICULOUS bc I just got lost in a reverie about whether I could make & sell butter from scratch and then I was like WAIT... what was I spiraling about before I got distracted by butter???? oh yeah, whether I’m capable of love 🙃“

It sounds like Anderson will fit right in with the Trumps and give the campaign a shot of glamor which they need.

And if Anderson doesn’t pan out and Guilfoyle takes off humiliated, the campaign could always call up Trump’s other daughter Tiffany. She’s right there... waiting in the wings...desperate to get the nod and prove to her father that she can be dreadful, too.

[gesau-it]

✉ ●̮̑۰۰̮̑ URGENTE! Nuovo RICHIAMO per i gruppi “Gesù all'umanità” e per i soldati di questa Missione Per saperne di più https://messaggidivinamisericordia.wordpress.com/2018/10/11/%db%b0%db%b0-urgente-nuovo-richiamo-per-i-gruppi-gesu/ ºººº — █ █ July 26, 2023 at 02:27PM

[instawom]

Back to the hat. https://ift.tt/2MpFDsb

[corishadowfang]

30 Questions Tag

Tagged by @strangerays--thanks for the tag!

Rules: Answer these 30 questions and tag people you want to catch up with!

1. Name/Nickname: Cori/Kayla (One tends to get used more online and one offline, haha.)

2. Gender: (pronouns) she/her

3. Star Sign: Scorpio

4. Height: 5′4″

5. Time: 3:27pm

6. Birthday: Nov. 7

7. Favorite Band: Red, Skillet, and Citizen Soldier are at the top at the moment!

8. Favorite Solo Artist: UM...uh, I’ve been listen to a lot of Nick Pitera recently?  So probably him for the moment, haha.

9. Song Stuck Stuck In My Head: This version of Hallelujah.  I have listened to this so many times over the past few days...

10. Last Movie: Raya and the Last Dragon

11. Last Show: Loki

12. When I Created This Blog: April 2018?  I think?  It was sometime in early 2018, in any case.

13. What I Post: Lots of stuff about writing, haha!  Mostly reblogging funny posts/advice/encouragement, with a couple of posts about my original stuff/fanfiction.

14. Last Thing I Googled: I think it was the TV Tropes page for ‘You Can’t Fight Fate,’ but...I also Google a lot of things...

15. Other Blogs: I attempted to have a fandom blog for a while, but I haven’t really...kept up with that.

16. Do I get asks? Occasionally.  Always happy to hear from more people!

18: Following: 125

17. Why I Chose My URL: This has basically been my username everywhere online since 2009, haha; I’m too attached to use something else at this point.

21. Lucky Number: 11

19. Followers: 165

20. Average Hours Of Sleep: Somewhere between five and seven, usually?  I sometimes get more on weekends.  (And sometimes less during the summer; the longer days are not really...good for getting a lot of sleep.)

22. Instruments: I used to play trumpet, but I’ve kind of fallen out of practice.

23. What Am I Wearing: Gray t-shirt and black shorts.

24. Dream Job: I’d love to be able to write stories full time!

25. Favorite Food: Popcorn!

27. Nationality: American

28. Favorite Song: UM.  That’s hard because...there are a lot of songs that I really like, and my favorites tend to change on a regular basis.  Right now, we have the cover I listed above and Meet Me in the Woods by Lord Huron.

29. Last Book I Read: Just started reading Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo!

30. Top 3 Fictional Universes I Would Like To Live In: Both the Pokemon and Digimon universes would probably be pretty cool.  As for the last one...hmm.  I don’t...I don’t think I have a good answer for that, haha.

I’ll tag @siarven, @phoenixmakeswords, @create-and-procrastinate, @gotchaocha, and @zmlorenz, if any of you want to do this! 

[sweetjaegerlove]

by NoShipsLikePartnerships

This place is cute, quaint, simple, and the Precursors wouldn't have stayed here in a million years. And that? That is exactly what Newt needs, as he tries to figure out who he is now, without the war, without the Precursors in his head—so much of his adult life had been spent with one or the other.

(or, a few months post-Uprising, Newt and Hermann rent a cottage)

Words: 10060, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Pacific Rim (Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Newton Geiszler, Hermann Gottlieb

Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb

Additional Tags: Post-Movie: Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018), Established Relationship, Drift Compatibility (Pacific Rim), Drift Hangover (Pacific Rim), Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Panic Attacks

pacific rim August 31, 2021 at 10:27PM via AO3 works tagged 'Pacific Rim (2013)'

[narcissasdaffodil]

Thank you so much for the tag @kiki-the-creator also tagging @ravenadottir

As usual, slight ramble below, but you should know what you’re in for by now, there’s a slight running commentary appearing occasionally. I’m not sure if anyone else tagged me in one of these though!

1) Name/Nickname? - Iris. My real name isn’t half as interesting, I’ve only told a selection of people that though.

2) Gender? - Female

3) Star sign? - Pisces sun, Aquarius moon, Virgo rising.

4) Height? - 5′7

5) Time? - 8:27pm

6) Birthday? - 22nd February 2001

7) Favorite bands? - ABBA, Arctic Monkeys, Vampire Weekend, The Fray, The Beatles, Simon & Garfunkel, Fleetwood Mac, TOTO (my taste in music is so random, jeez)

8) Favorite solo artists? - Hailee Steinfeld, Sabrina Carpenter, Lorde, Taylor Swift, Mat Kearney, Shawn Mendes, Mitski, Paul Simon, Dodie (yup, again, I’m a mishmash, but at the same time, I struggle picking favourites and shit, so had to hunt through my Spotify.)

9) Song stuck in your head? - Currently, alternates between Sweet Child O’Mine, Lily the Pink, Bright and a lot more! I went through a phase of replaying certain songs so I’ve memorised a lot.

10) Last movie? - All The Bright Places, yet again need complete silence to watch stuff and need to be focused enough. Both criteria are rarely met.

11) Last show? - Santa Clarita Diet, yes it was the same the last time I did one of these, problem? I’m in a really sarcastic mood currently and think I’m so funny, so yeah. But short answer, attention span is very messed up, most of the time can’t focus without floating off, so most of the time can’t be bothered watching stuff, and need subtitles on all TV, can’t always pick stuff up if there’s background music/extra noise or other people. Need complete silence to watch stuff, which is so rare that I just don’t, or look up spoilers so I know what’s happening.

12) When did you create this blog? - 19th Oct 2018 (That’s probably when I started being more active, did make it before then, but lurked for quite a bit x)

13) What do you post? - LITG, positivity and whatever the heck else I want to dump into the void.

14) Last thing you googled? - Anya Taylor-Joy fansite is my most recent Google.

15) Other blogs? - N/A

16) Do you get asks? - Yep, it’s mostly @kiki-the-creator @oneflewoverthecuckoos and @hyperspacial along with a couple of others. I don’t get many anons, and asks themselves are usually pretty rare if they’re not from my core group of askers!

17) Why you chose your url? - I had a Lauren Orlando fan account on Instagram in 2017, which went through a lot of name changes. That ended up being lovely.Laurennoelle, then bubblelaureno eventually. Then made another Instagram the same year, called that ultravxlet, then changed to laurelcstillo, then needed another switch, so bubblelaureno it was! Then I just changed nearly all my accs to the same user so I could keep track. Bubble came from the trend at the time of making all users something laureno in the fandom, so I thought of bubblelaureno.

18) Following? - 3362 (Yep, it’s a ridiculous amount, I know, nope I don’t keep up with everything!)

19) Followers? - 231, which is so much more than I expected, what the heck!

20) Average hours of sleep? - Eh. That varies between 4-8/9. Depending on depressive/anxious spirals, then my sleep amount rockets up.

21) Lucky number? - 22

22) Instruments? - Nope. Can’t even play the recorder, my fingers aren’t engineered for instruments, not having straight fingers means that’s not possible. I’ve tried it, but nope.

23) What are you wearing? - Lemon T-shirt, black jumper, black jeans. I’m pretty much the princess of darkness, or that’s the aesthetic I’m going for.

24) Dream job? - Librarian, or copy editor.

25) Dream trip? - Slightly stereotypical, but New York or Paris. I’ve also always wanted to go to Canada too.

26) Nationality? - Welsh

27) Favorite song? - Oh dear. I hate picking favourites, so have a few:

Heather: Conan Gray, Washing Machine Heart: Mitski, Long Story Short: Taylor Swift.

28) Last book read? - Exciting Times, got it for Christmas.

29) Top three fictional universes you‘d like to live in? - Harry Potter will always be a major one, can’t think of others at present.

30) Tagging? - @lucas-koh @bubblybabynailpolish @charlie-in-a-beanie @venueska

[werejusttouchingeachother]

SEOUL 2018 [August 10th, 4:27PM]

Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 T/W: angst - mentions of abuse, depression, suicide, cursing Words: 4171

It was almost two months later when you finally met Baekhyun again after the night he left New York. He’d been at the dorms and you’d felt more terrified than you had been when you first launched your boutique.

Manager had ushered you inside quickly, immediately making you feel awkward as your eyes met Junmyeon and Sehun who were sitting on the couch and watching something on the television.

“Y/N,” Junmyeon called your name in surprise as he quickly stood up, wide eyes exchanging glances with Manager behind you. “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I don’t think anyone did, Hyung,” Sehun mutters, giving you a small smile. “Hi, Noona. It’s been a long time. I missed you.”

You smile fondly at that, tense shoulders loosening at his contagious warmth. “I missed you too, Sehun.”

“I’m mad at you, though.” He crossed his arms. “You never called. Or responded to my texts.”

You flinched, expecting this accusation from the youngest member who’d always had the most fun teasing you and who you knew would take your silent treatment the hardest—not when you’d spent days and nights sending each other funny memes and pictures of dogs with bad haircuts almost on a daily basis only to suddenly ghost him.

“Yeah, I just…” you trail off and shake your head, knowing excuses were in vain. “I’m sorry. I should have replied.”

Sehun blinks at your sincere apology, not having expected it and his face clouds over with worry at your seriousness.

“Sehun,” Jun says, nudging him. “You can catch up with her later.” He gives you a meaningful look as he asks, “Y/N, aren’t you here to—?”

“Yeah, I’ll go check,” Manager says, turning to your left in the direction of the rooms. You grab his arm to stop him.

“Does he…?” You trail off and Manager hesitates before nodding.

“I told him that you landed here today morning.” He pauses before saying, “I think he’s expecting you.”

You waited in the hallway then as all the members slowly filed out of their rooms, giving you polite formal smiles (Jongin, Yixing and Jongdae), wary looks (Minseok and Kyungsoo) or blatantly ignored your presence (Chanyeol).

You didn’t say anything. If any of them knew what had exactly happened, you were sure that it had to be Chanyeol.

All of them joined Junmyeon and Sehun in the hall, the farthest room from Baekhyun’s to give you as much privacy as they could within a dormitory. Bowing your head in thanks, you walk past Manager and head for the right door at the end of the hallway.

Taking a deep breath, you raise your hand and knock gently on the door. You can hear the silence of the usually noisy dorm and it doesn’t help the way your heart is pounding against your rib-cage, your stomach twisting with anxiety.

The door opens then and your breath catches as your eyes fall on Baekhyun.

His hair is dishevelled and his clothes are drabby, hanging off him in a way that you knew all too-well that he had been wearing them for a while. His cheeks are hollow and your eyes run over his clothes, growing frustrated when you realise they’re too large to figure out whether he’d lost weight.

“You haven’t been eating,” Baekhyun says, his tone flat and your eyes fly back up to his face in surprise. You feel your skin rise with goosebumps at hearing his voice after so long and your eyes sting with unshed tears that you have to forcibly blink back.

“I…” You clear your throat before raising an eyebrow at him. “Neither have you. Your face has grown thinner.”

“What is this, a competition?” He rolls his eyes, stepping away to let you in.

“If it is, nobody is winning!” You hear Sehun shout from the hall, making you roll your eyes.

“Sehun, shut up!” Baekhyun yells as he closes the door behind him. You bite your lip as you look around the familiar room that was almost a home to you at one point—a point that seemed entirely too long ago now.

“Did you wear lipstick? Or did you chew it all off?” Baekhyun asks, pointing out your usual nervous habit and your gaze shifts back to him as he sits in his gaming chair, opposite the bed that looked unusually tidy.

He hasn’t been sleeping.  

“Did you sleep at all this past week?” You shoot back, crossing your arms as you sit down on the bed and cock your head at the neatly made sheets. “Or leave that seat? How long have you been gaming in those clothes?”

“Why do you care?” Baekhyun snaps and you sigh, leaning back as you square your shoulders and remind yourself not to follow his childish antics.

“I didn’t come here to fight, Baek,” you start, trying to gather your thoughts. “I—”

“Y/N.” His voice is sharp enough that you stop, eyebrows rising as he inhales deeply before saying, “If you’re here to break up, just leave. I haven’t processed a lot since New York but I’m not numb enough that I can sit here and listen to you end everything. Being here in Korea must be killing you anyway so just leave and I’ll consider it the end. Let’s not make this any harder than it—”

“Shut the fuck up, Baekhyun,” you snap, eyes narrowed in disbelief as you gape at him. “Is that what you want to do? New York to be our last conversation? Just leave a two-years-long relationship like this?” You shake your head, holding up your hand to stop whatever he was going to say as you interrupted, “I’ll leave soon, don’t worry. As soon as I’m done telling you what I have to tell you.”

He falls silent, eyes watching you carefully and you take a breath before starting. “I told you something that night two months ago. Before you said that I shouldn’t be feeling that way. Something about my childhood. Do you remember?”

Baekhyun nods slowly. “You said that you’ve never been enough for your parents from when you were young. And I made you feel like that again, yeah, that’s burned into my memory, don’t worry.”

You shake your head, shooting him a look. “That first part, yes. The second part, no. This is what I flew out here to tell you, face-to-face. What I should have told you that night.”

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip as you take a second to muster the courage to say what you’re going to say. Baekhyun immediately notices your hesitation, his eyes clouding with worry at the obvious storm raging inside your mind right now.

It almost makes you smile—the fact that he could still read you like an open book. Despite all the pain, all the misunderstanding, all the conflicting emotions that were stirred up amongst both of you, he still worried about you, your thoughts, your nervous habits and your weight.

“My parents came from well-reputed families,” you started, leaning back against the wall. “It was an arranged marriage, a union that was more of a business deal than that of love. They weren’t chaebols or anything but they were well-off and had a long uninterrupted line of sons on my father’s side that always took over the business and carried it forward.”

Baekhyun’s face falls at this, already knowing where this was headed as you continued, “They wanted a boy. When I was born, it was more of a shock than anything. They tried a lot for a second child but my mother had some health issues and there were complications. So they were stuck with me and I was… never enough. I did everything they wanted me to do, always obeying their insane rules and never had any fun the way other kids did. I used to draw a lot from when I was a kid and they would rip my drawings apart, throw my colours away. I’d get into trouble if I didn’t do the homework or scored anything less than hundred on tests. I used to cry at school and my teacher told me that they do it because they love me, because they care. That most parents are strict so the kids will grow to be really smart.”

“So I studied hard. Began to buy separate notebooks to draw in and hide them where they wouldn’t find them. I lived by the rules they made, all through middle school and high school—it was always hell, I was always wishing to get away. I never even dared to like someone as a teenager because I feared what would happen at home if they found out. I didn’t have any friends because they discouraged it, said it was a distraction. They’d decided on the day of my birth that since I couldn’t take over the business, I’d follow the highest position for a woman—medicine. Their words, not mine. So then, I joined medical school and when I had to draw more bodies and organs than the clothes that went on it, I snapped. I had a phase where I stopped attending classes, where I failed all the exams and almost got suspended. It was a highly prestigious school so they called in my parents and they paid heftily to keep me at school, promising that I’d make up for it.”

You pause then, lowering your head and taking a breath since the next thing was particularly difficult to voice out loud.

“That was the second time my father hit me,” you say in a hoarse voice, clearing your throat before continuing, “The first time was in elementary when they found my doodles for the first time on my books. The teacher had sent a note to them, suggesting to join an art class because I drew more than I wrote notes and they beat me till I was black and blue. They told me that art was for idiots, that things like drawing, writing, acting and singing would never get me anywhere in life. After that was when I started my preparation for medical school. After I failed that too, I thought they would understand then or at least try. But they beat me again. And I thought I’d kill myself so, I ran away from home.”

You glance at him, smiling slightly. “That time we were at Tokyo, you were so surprised when I didn’t want to take pictures together under the cherry blossom trees. It’s not because I was cold that night—it’s because cherry blossoms always reminds me of that night I ran out in Korea. They were all I could see when I looked up and they were so pretty that it felt like they were mocking me. That was the first time I wished I could look up at the sky and see the Eiffel Tower, wish that I could be at Paris where I could draw freely and just live for myself.”

“And that’s when I realised that I was going to kill myself when I hadn’t ever lived. Not once, not even for a day, had I lived for myself. It was always for my parents and they never even appreciated my efforts or tried to understand me.”

You look up then, smiling although you couldn’t see him because your eyes were tearing up. “The only time that I lived was when I designed. I had nothing to lose. There was no one to please so I thought I’d fully meet the criteria of such a worthless disappointing child. I started dreaming about Paris and my boutique—I started dreaming of skies where I could look up and see the Eiffel.”

Baekhyun’s expression is unreadable but you continue, “You know the rest from here. I lied about going for classes and instead worked many part-time jobs. I saved up just enough money for one of the cheapest flights to Paris but it wasn’t enough, of course not. I got kicked out of school and I didn’t wait to get kicked out of home too—I used all the money I’d saved to move out instead and started working at Korea. Three years later, about the time all my friends were graduating from college, I finally had enough to go to Paris. For seven months, I struggled and starved and almost died because of how poor I was before my designs finally caught the eye of someone who saw my potential. I became his apprentice.”

You take a deep breath and grabbed the pillow from his bed, hugging it in your lap because your hands were shaking.

“I have a lot of issues with my parents, Baekhyun,” you state aloud, looking at him. “My childhood was traumatic for me and there’s a lot that I’ve been suppressing from when I was a kid. I’m insecure when people show me affection because I’m not used to receiving it, I have anxieties about whether they will leave so I think I should leave first because I always tend to think I don’t deserve whatever love I get. Seoyeon is a clear example of that as my only friend—the only one I’ve trusted enough to get close to me.”

“I moved out of the apartment after you left.” His eyebrows rise at this and you explain, “It felt lonelier when you were gone. It was too big and memories kept haunting me, I was always going crazy with my own thoughts so I decided to move into a smaller place.”

You paused then, inhaling softly as you felt your shoulders lighten like you’d just lifted a burden, one that had been weighing down on you for almost all your life. Feeling your heart race slightly because of the next thing you were going to say, you mentally prepared yourself for all the negative possibilities before continuing.

“I’m going for therapy,” you declare, watching his eyes widen in surprise at this. “Seoyeon told me that if I never deal with my past, it’s always going to affect any relationship that I have. I started almost as soon as you left and all these things I told you, Baekhyun, they’re-they’re just the surface of it. You know that I hate coming back to Korea even though you didn’t know exactly why. Same with the cherry blossom trees. There’s a lot more that I can’t tell you, a lot that I can only tell my therapist because it’s difficult for me to admit it openly, even to myself. But at the same time, these are the things I should have talked to you about, like you told me that night at New York. I let my insecurities get to my head and projected it onto you which was unfair.”

You place the pillow back and stand up then, looking down at him.

“I understand and accept everything you said that night,” you state, Baekhyun gazing up at you unblinkingly. "We don’t have to go public. We never do. I don’t care about that and I don’t think I ever did. The party that night, the way everyone was so welcoming… it made me question if I was even worth standing around such people. If I was worthy of your love and care.”

“And that is not your fault, Baekhyun,” you clearly enunciate, knowing he was going to interrupt with the opposite statement. “Those are just my fears stemming from my shitty childhood. Apparently my first instinct when shown love is to fight and then flee. But I know now that it’s not a matter of worth—you’ve only loved and cared for me, unconditionally, even when I’ve been closed off and so difficult.”

“I…” You trail off, heavy emotion weighing down on your chest suddenly and making you choke on your words as you hoarsely say, “I’ve only known darkness, Baekhyun, so when you shone down on me with all your light, I got blinded. I was an idiot and I fucked up something that was beautiful and the best thing that ever happened to me. But I can see clearer now for the first time in my life and I know better. And I know that I love you. So much that I am even willing to be mysterious Mrs. Byun X forever. No one has to know about us or me and I couldn’t care less.”

You take a breath then, meeting his gaze. “I’m opening the door again, Baek. And I’m giving you the same option I did last time except now, I can promise you that I do not care about being hidden and I also promise to try and fight my demons from wrecking what we have. If we have it again.”

Baekhyun blinks at you, pouty lips parted open as he gapes at you like a fish and you nod, stepping to the door slowly.

“You don’t have to answer right now,” you reassure him, forcing yourself to smile even though you were beyond terrified. “I know it’s a lot to take at once. Manager has the address of my hotel and I’m staying for a week. Or you can just text me, if you don’t want to see me. He has my number too.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say a word and you feel your heart crack slightly in your chest as you nod, biting down on your lip and turn to the door.

Swallowing heavily, you mutter, “Goodbye, Bae—”

You’re spun around by a death grip on your arm then, eyes widening as you look up at Baekhyun standing right in front of you.

“No,” he said, shaking his head as he dragged you back to the bed. He placed his hands on your shoulders and pushed you down forcibly, ordering, “Sit.”

“How can you leave like that?” Baekhyun asked, disbelief colouring his tone. “I didn’t even speak yet.”

You blink at his glare, stammering, “I mean-I just-I didn’t want you to feel pressured—”

“Y/N, it’s been two fucking months,” he snorts, shooting you a look. He retrieves his hands from your shoulders and lowers himself to the floor at your feet.

“You know that you can just sit beside me?” You ask, glaring down at him as a sudden memory flashes vividly in your mind. “Or back on that seat across from me?”

He shrugs as he sits cross-legged, looking up at you. The room’s light was right behind you and it shone down right on his face that made it look like he had stars in his eyes and you wondered if it was bright enough to hurt him.

“I want to look at you,” he says quietly.

“You’re sitting the same way you did that night,” you remind him softly, biting down on your lip.

His eyebrows furrow in confusion before he realises, eyes softening as he takes your hand from your lap slowly.

“I’m not leaving this time,” Baekhyun assured you gently, giving you a small smile as he played with your fingers. He raises his other hand to your face and tugged your lower lip loose from your teeth, shaking his head at you and giving you a warning look, the way he always used to whenever you kept gnawing at your lips.

He sits back and gives you a cheeky smile then. “Technically, I can’t. You came here to the dorms so I don’t really have anywhere to go from here—”

“I missed you,” you blurted, unable to stop yourself. His smile freezes at your words and you blink back the tears gathering furiously as you corrected in a softer tone, “I miss you.”

“Me too,” he murmurs, intertwining your fingers together. He grips your hand tightly and seems to struggle as he forces the next words out, “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you. Therapy and dealing with everything from your past can’t have been easy. I should have been there, I shouldn’t have left—”

“Baek, no,” you grab his hand holding yours with your other hand, shaking your head vehemently at him. “It’s good that you did. I needed to get my shit together—about me, about us. I needed to do it, it was time.”

He looks into your eyes, voice meek as he asks, “Are you okay?”

You start to nod and he tightens his grip on your hand again as he repeats, “No, Y/N. Really… are you okay?”

You pause, swallowing slightly as you look down at both your hands. “It’s… a lot. There’s a lot that I’m remembering and reliving that I don’t want to. But that’s how I can make peace with it, how I can stop—” You take a shaky breath, choking as you finish, “—stop hurting myself. And stop myself from hurting you.”

“Oh, god, Y/N.” Baekhyun lets go of your hands then, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You still at the sudden unexpected embrace and he pulls you down from the bed onto his lap, hugging you tightly to him.

Your entire body seems frozen as you find yourself on the floor with him, his arms clutching you tightly to him.

“Baek,” you whisper, practically trembling in his arms when you feel his warmth singe into your skin. He is as warm as you remember him and when his scent, your instant comforter, flooded your nose after missing it for what felt like forever—you’re almost ready to cry.

He pulls away to look at you, shaking his head as he whispers, “Please don’t cry, baby, it kills me.”

His hands cup your face and you close your eyes, leaning into his touch as you sigh softly. You open your eyes and almost melt when you see the way he’s staring at you.

It reminded you of Paris—the way he looked at you every night when he said ‘goodbye’ at the door of your hotel room, a gaze that lingered and that you were reluctant to break away from.

Despite saying it already, you repeat, “I miss—”

Baekhyun closes the gap between your mouths, his plush lips pressing against yours tenderly as he held your face in his hands. You closed your eyes, responding instantly while your hands fist into the front of his shirt, clutching him tightly as if you were afraid he’d slip away.

He kisses you back just as fervently, holding you gently as if he didn’t want to break you. The kiss tastes as sweet as the first, your heart thudding against your chest and butterflies erupting in your stomach as if it was your first time.

You pull away to breathe with your eyes still closed and he presses his forehead against yours, feeling your breaths intermingle. Your eyelids flutter open and his thumb wipes a stray tear that had streaked down your cheek.

“I missed you too,” he breathes, pressing another kiss to your mouth. He lingers before pulling away, lowering his hands from your face as his eyes meet yours with determination before muttering, “Fuck it.”

You blink. “What?”

“Fuck it. I love you. We’ll make it through this, through everything—my job, your past, everything. We walked into this thinking our biggest problem would be the distance and we’ve overcome that. It’s… it’s fine. I can’t lose you again, Y/N. These two months have been hell, I’ve just been going crazy in here.” Baekhyun takes in a shaky breath, grabbing your hands from his chest and staring at your joined fingers. “Hyungnim told me that you needed some space and I thought it was over so I broke down but then he told me to wait, that you just needed some time. I thought you’d made your decision and the reason you weren’t reaching out was because you didn’t want to… be with me anymore.”

You shake your head and lean forward, kissing him. “That’s not… you know I can’t leave you, Baekhyun.”

“Then don’t.”

You smile, nodding slightly. “I won’t.” You hesitate, biting your lower lip as you ask timidly, “Does this mean that you’re walking in through the open door again?”

He smiles then, cheeks puffing and eyes shining as he replies, “Well, you know what they say. Love is an open door.”

“Literally betrayed her and left her to die but okay, Hans,” you tease and he rolls his eyes.

“Fine.” He grins, releasing your hands and wrapping his arms around your middle, pulling you into his chest. “Then… oh, right. Paris. Love is your open arms.”

You roll your eyes teasingly, snorting, “Always so cheesy.”

“Shut up, you love it.” Baekhyun drops a kiss on the top of your head and you close your eyes, smiling at how much you’d missed the gesture—genuinely smiling with your heart feeling full for the first time in months. Your veins that had gone numb after so much time apart finally felt alive, filling with the ethereal golden rays as he basked you in his contagious warmth.

Your sunshine.

[thingsadamsendsme]

7/31/2018, 10:27pm

[bienu]

a short story

22nd September 2011. You get into your parent's car after a relative's party. You ask to sit in the front, but you end up in the back. You wave to your cousins as the car pulls out of the driveway. Later, you rest your head on the seatbelt, staring at the raindrops race to the bottom of the car window. Streetlights periodically flash by, replacing the deep orange of the distant city glow. Two people talk about politics on the radio, and the hum of the engine blends with the outside traffic. You drift your eyes to the clock, and 10:27pm flashes in red light. On the window, you write your name with your finger, and then scribble in condensation. You close your eyes, and hear your parents talk about how cute you are, and how much they love you. You wake up the next morning in your bed, not knowing how much you would think about that night 10 years later, lying in bed, listening to the other orphans sleep.

14th March 2014. Your 9th birthday. You and 3 of your friends are going paintballing. In one car, your dad drives with you in the front seat and your friends in the back. You watch the sun flicker between the trees, looking at the storybook clouds, one looks a bit like a tiger. Your friends talk about pokemon as the car slows down at an intersection. At the red light, your dad looks to you and asks if your alright. You smile and say yes, and he mouths out the words "i love you". The light turns green, and as he starts going again, you see that behind your dad, out the window, is a red sedan speeding towards you. Someone screams, and the car slams into the side of your car, flipping your car over. You wake up in a hospital bed, faintly remembering fire. Family is by your side. "Your dad is dead."

27th November 2015. Your in your room, sitting on a tear stained pillow. You just had an argument with your mom about going to school on Monday. You stare at a pile of clothes on your floor. "Can you come down for dinner please?" You slump down the stairs to sit at the table. Its dark outside. You avoid looking at your mum and instead try and look out the window. A man sits on a bench across the street. A black car pulls up next to him, and two men get out. They hand the man on the bench a mask, and both put on one themselves. "Mom?" "What honey?" "Who are they?" The three start walking towards your house, and pull out guns. "Get upstairs and lock yourself in your room. NOW." You leave your macaroni and cheese and run up the stairs, but turn back to your mum. Shes on the phone to the police. Theres a knock at the door. You go into your room and lock your door. You hide in your closet. Downstairs, glass shatters, and you hear screaming. You grab a shirt and hold it tight. You hear gunshot. Footsteps rise up the stairs and pass by your door. You hear the doorknob turn, but before they can enter, sirens arrive outside the house, and the footsteps become frantic and distant. The police ask questions but they ask the wrong ones. They ask what the men looked like. I just want to know why. Why me?

21st July 2018. Other children would be on vacation right now. Other children are lucky, other children aren't grateful. You would be, if things turned out differently. If dad had survived, if they had chosen another house. Saturday morning cartoons play in the common room. You go out with your friends "to the skatepark". You sometimes still talk to your old friends, but they treat you differently now. At least your friends at the orphanage don't do that. They know how it feels. You meet up with a guy in his late teens in an alleyway a few minutes away. You hand him crumpled notes, and he hands you a bag. You start to leave. "Wait," He calls. "I have something else." "What is it?" You never speak with emotion anymore. "I'm going clean now, and you've always been my number one client. Have the rest of my stuff." He hands me another bag, a syringe with something in it, and a piece of paper with a number. "People tend to like this, so if you want more, call that number."

16th April 2020. You've had to go a month without heroin. Every night, you still sweat and shiver in your bed. "Your 15, and your going to throw your life away" you think. The clock's ticking echoes in your head. You can barely read the hands, 4 something? You look at the mask on your desk and compare it to the one of the man who killed your mother. One stops you being sick, one stops you being seen.

22nd September 2021. You lie in your bed, listening to the other children in the orphanage sleep. You think back to that day, 10 years ago. You wish so badly to go back that it aches. You get up and walk out of the room. You meander through the hallways until you go out through a window that leads to the roof. Tucked in a corner outside is a box. You take a deep breathe of nighttime air and look at the moon through the chimney smoke. You open the box and take out a flask, a knife, a pen, and paper. You write about a few days that you always remembered. You open the flask and drink the whole thing in one go.

Mary, I'm sorry. I know that you always wanted to help people like me, but I guess I was destined for this the moment I saw that red sedan.

Jamie, please don't go down the same road as me, you have potential, and I know you can become something amazing.

Everyone else, I hope this can mean something for you. Even if you didnt know me, maybe one day we can meet.

You take the knife and bring it to your neck, knowing that slitting your wrists never works.

-- This message was found written on a piece of paper found in the pocket of a 16 year old kid the morning after he died. Suicide kills thousands every year, please don't go down the same path as this soul.

~ Granton Orphanage

[geraldlunaria]

We Were Kids In Love 💓💞

Credits: BiyooteeTV

A post shared by Gerald (@geraldlunaria) on Oct 26, 2018 at 3:27pm PDT

Kids in Love - Kygo

It was Thursday on the night of October 25, 2018 when I attended my first concert in the Mall of Asia Arena. I still remember the time when I burst with joy because I saw the announcement that Kygo is having an Asia tour for his album entitled “Kids in Love” for the first time. The event is about to happen during my birthday so I have high hopes that my mom would allow me to attend as a gift even though I’m 16 years old during that time. I showed her the advertisement and asked if I can buy a ticket to attend the event and I even requested if I can go on my own. Thankfully, she allowed me to go with the condition that my older brother will accompany me because I have to travel via commute.

I woke up the day of the event very excited and I started the day by attending the class and after that I went to a barbershop to get a new haircut. The gates will open by 9:00 PM so we started our trip by 6:30 PM. We rode a van routed to Trinoma then we traveled from North Avenue station to Taft Avenue station via Manila Metro Rail Transit System (MRT) and lastly, we rode a jeep bound to SM Mall of Asia. We arrived by 9:30 pm and my brother escorted me until I entered the arena. 

A post shared by Gerald (@geraldlunaria) on Oct 26, 2018 at 2:47pm PDT

Without You - Avicii (Kygo’s Avicii Tribute)

Finally! My long awaited event is about to happen. I can’t contain my joy and excitement during that time. I see a lot of diverse people on every floor. I used the escalator and every floor there are people welcoming us and giving us glow sticks but I didn’t accept it because I’m an environmentalist during that time. Even though it’s my second time to attend an event inside the Mall of Asia area, I had difficulty in finding the area where I belong. It is so huge especially when you are inside because it’s a five-level venue and it can accommodate a seating capacity of 15,000.

By 10PM when the pre-party started and the guests DJs played their set. It’s cold inside and I find myself sitting comfortably and lowkey vibing in the music because I don’t want to spend most of my energy and end up exhausted when Kygo performs his set.

By 10:30 PM when I grabbed a snack because I haven’t had my dinner yet. I went into the Food Alley to find food and as expected, the food was costly. I only bought a soft drink and a hotdog sandwich even though I also wanted a beer inside the typical red and white plastic party cup that time. I didn’t buy it because I thought it was not worth it for it’s cost but now I regret that because I could take the cup with me along with the glow stick as a souvenir for my first concert. After the set of the last guest DJ, I’m lowkey worried because it’s 11PM and I have exams tomorrow and Kygo is not performing yet.

A post shared by Gerald (@geraldlunaria) on Oct 26, 2018 at 2:54pm PDT

First Time - Kygo

By 12 AM of October 26, 2018 when Kygo started to perform his set. I find myself along with the crowd dancing and singing our favorite music. It’s fascinating and amazing to see such a sight. It had great visuals and Kygo was joined by Justin Jesso and Bonnie McKee in performing some of the songs. Kygo is a good pianist and he even brought a music ensemble with him to join him in performing some instrumental parts of the set even though his genre is Electronic Dance Music (EDM). The concert ended by 2AM and I went home grateful and joyful with a beautiful memory that I will never forget. I really love music and I think many of the best places in the world are concert/music grounds, music festivals, raves, and theaters where you can see your favorite artists performing the music you love. 

Here’s an incomplete video of Kygo’s set made for fans who couldn't attend the concert.

Credits:BiyooteeTv

[gesau-it]

◇◆● ● ◇ Volantino sull'Avvertimento - da diffondere, Per favore diffondete questo volantino il più possibile, attaccatelo nella via pubblica, o chiedete permesso nei negozi e così via. Gesù vuole salvare tutti! https://messaggidivinamisericordia.wordpress.com/2018/04/20/nuovo-video-il-potere-della-preghiera-nuovo/ ºººº — █ █ March 10, 2023 at 02:27PM

[meraki19]

Mi ancla.

Eres esa fuerza que le da estabilidad a mi corazón.

May 6th, 2018 10:27pm

[elceeu2morrow]

By MARK DAVID FEBRUARY 25, 2019 12:27PM PT

English pop megastar Louis Tomlinson is not only trying to keep songs from his unreleased debut solo album from being leaked online — fans shut down a Twitter account last week that attempted to leak a single — he’s getting serious about selling a sprawling compound tucked into the rugged mountains between Calabasas and Malibu, Calif., hacking an eye-catching $1 million dollars off the original price in one single swipe of the price chop machete. First listed more than a year ago with a great deal of publicity and a too confident asking price of nearly $14 million, the resort-style estate is now available for sale at just under $13 million as well as for rent at $40,000 per month.

Tomlinson, who returned last year as a judge to the original, U.K. version of “The X Factor,” the televised talent show from which he and his former One Direction band mates rocketed to international über-celebritydom in 2010, purchased the property in the fall of 2015 for exactly $10 million. Alas, the 27-year-old former boy bander soon caught a classic case of the Celebrity Real Estate Fickle and, after he shelled out $7.3 million in the fall of 2016 for a glammed up Spanish meets Georgian villa in a famously celeb-filled neighborhood of the Hollywood Hills, he put his semi-remote Calabasas compound up for sale in early 2018 and a couple of months later the property popped up for rent at $60,000 per month.

Sequestered near the end of a slender, tree-covered private lane, the gated driveway curves through a thicket of trees and over a stone pillared wooden bridge to a circular drive surrounded by rolling lawns in front of a sprawling, 9,659-square-foot Santa Barbara Spanish-style main residence. Marketing materials indicate there are a total of five bedrooms and eight bathrooms between the main house and the almost 4.75-acre compound’s handful of outbuildings that include a guardhouse, a detached garage, two guesthouses, a fitness pavilion and a Japanese-inspired tea house/meditation pavilion perched atop a serene knoll next to a koi pond.

Grandiosely proportioned interiors feature glossy polished walnut floorboards, flamboyantly high ceilings with alder wood ceiling beams and a whole-house audio system. A barrel-vaulted foyer passes between two stout columns before it steps down to a capacious formal living room that features a massive arched window and a humongous, tile-accented carved limestone fireplace. There is also a not particularly spacious formal dining room with fireplace, a dark-paneled, double-height library ringed by a second floor gallery and a high-end kitchen that features every culinary bell and whistle money can buy plus a unique fish tank built in to the custom cabinetry. A semi-circular separate breakfast room is lined with a trio of arched windows and a grandiose, double-height family room is overlooked by a wrought iron-railed catwalk while a state-of-the-art screening room offers a wide-screen projection system and a basement entertainment space contains a games room and a wine cellar.

Extensively landscaped and fastidiously maintained park-like grounds feature a rock-lined brook that weaves and waterfalls a serpentine path down landscaped hillsides and across rolling lawns shaded by mature trees. Al fresco lounging and dining terraces outside the main house includes a built-in barbecue area and, on a flat, sunny plateau above the house, extensive flagstone-cut limestone terracing surrounds a mosaic-tiled swimming pool and spa next to a fitness pavilion and guesthouse.

Newly signed with Arista and recently spotted in the U.K. where he’s rumored to be making a video for his upcoming album, the two-time Teen Choice Award winner also keeps a six-bedroom home in a semi-rural pocket about a dozen miles north of Central London in the Borough of Barnet he reportedly acquired in 2012 for about £2.25 million.

[food-log-life]

キャンプファイヤー🔥#キャンプ

[soul2soulmates]

https://ift.tt/2S0XCZi

[alternative-eyes]

http://projectcamelotportal.com/wp-content/uploads/J.FETZER@4-480x270.jpg JAMES FETZER PHD presents: The Kavanaugh Conspiracy: Weaponizing #MeToo against a Supreme Court Nominee SPECIAL NOTE:    THIS SHOW WILL BE MOVED TO BITCHUTE AFTER BROADCAST. PROJECT CAMELOT. BITCHUTE www.bitchute.com/channel/3WVlkUJ93jEe/KAVANAUGH AND BLASEY FORD PSY-OP WITH DR. JAMES FETZER http://projectcamelotportal.com/2018/10/19/kavanaugh-and-blasey-ford-psy-op-with-dr-james-fetzer/