#2017 great christmas gifts

[world0fmadness]

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ✩ ˚ ALL IS FULL OF LOVE

max verstappen x musician! reader x ( platonic! ) oc daughter

featuring: teenage love and online dating

faceclaim: mako minami

୨୧ fluff overload! max and reader are both 17 in 2015, 18 in 2016 and so on! obviously max was nowhere near as famous when he was 17 so there isn’t any fan comments! i imagine reader to be around the same size of an artist as mako minami too, small but passionate

reading music recommendations: all is full of love by mako minami - chocolate by mako minami - virtual kiss by mako minami

2015 - kawaiikittiieyn: love life ≽ܫ≼ ! i love mine

maxverstappen: liefde! don’t drink so much, i am not there to look after you 😅

> kawaiikittiieyn: it’s apple juice :3 wish you were here maxie

> maxverstappen: wish i was there too yn… one day, soon, i promise 💞

2015 - kawaiikittiieyn: cats and friends and totally me and max in the third picture ฅ^._.^ฅ

maxverstappen: me and you forever 💕 🐈‍⬛

> kawaiikittieyn: forever and ever <3 🐈

2015 - kawaiikittiieyn: happy christmas to you all ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

maxverstappen: happy christmas liefde! i hope you liked my gift to you 💝

> kawaiikittiieyn: happy christmas maxie ^_^ i loved your gift to me, did you love mine to you?

> maxverstappen: more than i can put into words 💓 my most favourite gift i’ve ever gotten from my favourite person

2016 - kawaiikittiieyn: hello kitty you’re so pretty ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

maxverstappen: pretty just like you ��️ looks very “ kawaii ” ! i hope you had lots of fun liefde 💖

> kawaiikittiieyn: ^_^ it was very kawaii maxie <3 we will go together when you visit

> maxverstappen: we will 💞

2017 - kawaiikittiieyn: finally together, forever and ever ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა

maxverstappen: the feeling i got when holding you in my arms was like nothing i’ve felt before… i’ll love you forever and ever liefde 💓

> kawaiikittiieyn: being held in your arms felt like heaven, love you more forever and ever maxie ୨♡୧

2023 - kawaiikittieyn: some last studio work before i will be going on a break ^_^ princess is practicing her drawing skills for a future friend

loveuyn: a future friend… ?

> ynsteponme: another cat maybe?

> loveuyn: mmm… no… i’m sensing something more…

maxverstappen ✔️: her future friend will love her drawing skills liefde 💞

❤️ liked by kawaiikittieyn

> loveuyn: why are they being so cryptic 😭

> maxverstrapon: yeahhh… i feel like if this was just another pet they’d be much less cryptic

lewishamilton ✔️: can’t hair to hear the new music yn, no doubt it’ll be great as usual ❤️

❤️ liked by kawaiikittiieyn and maxverstappen

iluvf1: okay i know we’re all going batshit over what this “ future friend ” is but can as appreciate how good she looks? she’s glowing

> oldf1lvr: right… max you are one lucky fella

> loveuyn: you know why people “ glow ? ” it’s a word that begins with p…

2023 - kawaiikittiieyn: ‘ all is full of love ’ is out on all platforms now ^_^ i found out i was pregnant months ago now and started working on this song, sang with so much love from the heart to reach the womb <3 please listen here

lewishamilton ✔️: congratulations love! you’ll make a wonderful mum, absolutely beautiful song ❤️

❤️ liked my kawaiikittiieyn and maxverstappen

loveuyn: I KNEW IT!

> loveuyn: mom and dad are expecting an ACTUAL baby now omg… 🥹

> loveuyn: listening to the song, sobbing… this is too fucking sweet and god these pictures are beautiful

maxverstappen ✔️: i already know you will be the best mother our little dove could ask for 💕

❤️ liked by kawaiikittieyn

> kawaiikittieyn ✔️: as will you be the best father maxie <3 i can’t wait to see you holding her

❤️ liked by maxverstappen

> loveuyn: a little girl… i can’t 😭

> maxynforever: their little dove 💔

landonorris ✔️: right… fight for the favourite uncle begins now, congratulations max and yn!

> lewishamilton ✔️: no need to fight, we all know it’ll be me 🤷‍♂️

> danielricciardo ✔️: yeah right

> maxverstappen ✔️: you people are pathetic… checo is winning

> sergiochecoperez ✔️: 🙂

maxynforever: we’ve really seen them go from two lovey dovey teens to future parents 🥹

2024 - maxverstappen and kawaiikittieyn: our little dove, finally in our arms 💕

comments on this post are limited!

loveuyn: god… they’ve grown up for real now 🥹

lewishamilton ✔️: little dove is finally here! congratulations mate, gift basket should be there soon

> kawaiikittiieyn ✔️: we’ve already got so many gifts from you guys! we don’t have room for more but thank you lewis <3

> landonorris ✔️: mmm… that’s too bad because mine is on the way too…

> danielricciardo ✔️: and mine 😬

> sergiochecoperez ✔️: i have sent some more things for baby dove too max ���

> maxverstappen ✔️: yep… looks like i’ll be off building even more storage then, thanks mates 👍

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

little dove decked out in sanrio and lewis still fighting to be the favourite uncle

maxverstappen uploaded to his story!

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Writing Challenge Entries from an old blog

I've been snooping around my old URLs and found TONS of old writing challenge entries that I wanted to bring back to life. This list (which isn't finished) is a mixture of all types of writing challenges that I had hosted on an older blog back when Tumblr Culture was rampant with people being interactive with each other. As I locate more of these, they will be added. Currently, I've found things from the years 2017-2018ish. if y'all have any more from my older challenges, let me know, and I can add them to the list!

updated September 2 2024

I'm still missing a bunch of these entries. Check your blogs for either this URL or @caplansteverogers.

The Cookie Baking Disaster || Summary: You forgot to bake your famous cookies when Christmas dinner is at yours and Sam’s house, but trouble comes from your forgetful nature @anaboo-thewriter

Frozen Date || Summary:  You ask Wanda to build a snowman with you and that leads to an interesting result @kjs-s

Would You Just Listen To Me || Summary: Reader found out she’s pregnant and Bucky is to busy to hear the important news from his soon to be wife. @buckys-other-punk

Holiday Magic || Summary: Summary: Christmas is a magical time of the year. Bucky and Y/N meet under odd circumstances. A friendship ensues! With the new year, there’s a possibility romance will bloom! @buckybarnesappreciationsociety

Please Come Home || Summary: None @meganlpie

The “Unexpected” Christmas Gift || Summary: You are ER Nurse at Stark Hospital & friends with EMT!Bucky. Bucky harbour’s a crush on you but it is brought out accidently by his friend. @lostinthoughtsandfeelings

"My dog ate your christmas present” || SUMMARY: Bucky's dog ate the present for reader. Bucky had to invent something ad hoc. @thepaperpanda

Hooky || Summary: It was a long day at work and Reader and her friend decide to unwind at their favorite dive bar, until the friend brings up something that Reader had forgotten. @ruckystarnes

The Duchess || Summary: The Duchess of Manhattan likes her men regal. Y/N Stark grew up loving the king, but when the tables turn and the lovers are torn apart, she aims her arrows at the second in line for the throne. @hellomissmabel

Line of Duty || No Summary @maggyme13

Unhappy Memories || Summary: Love was a mortal concept, so the poets said. @writeshite

Sugar, Spice || Summary: Summary: Frank Castle x reader. This is based on the scenario prompt: “I’m a waitress and it’s busy. Thank you for being kind.”  Frank notices his favorite waitress having a rough time, and even though things aren’t going great in his life either, he offers up some solid company and a listening ear. @emotchalla

I'll Drink to That || Summary: Prompts: “Did you spike the hot chocolate?” & “What? You don’t like eggnog?” @buckys-other-punk

I Just Want to Be Like You || Summary: (y/n) is working for the Avengers. She didnt want to bother the others and so she got in a bit of trouble. And all of that because she just wanted to be a bit like Natashe

A Spot Shaped Like You || Summary: Tony Stark loves you. You’re a mystery to everyone, you keep to yourself, and you always wear clothes that swamp you. Peter expresses some concerns to Tony one day, which prompts him to ask, “what are all these scars on your body?”

A Thousand Food Dates || Summary: Waking up next to Loki has never been this sweet. @hellomissmabel

Simple Mornings || Summary:  After admitting your feelings for Wanda you two spend an amazing night and quiet night together. @supersoldierslover

Mistletoe || Summary: The team goes out on a mission, leaving you alone to decorate for Christmas with Loki @faithers10911

Love Story || Summary:  Your whole life you spent doing what is right and pleasing your parents, But one day you face one of the hardest decisions of your life. (MODERN ROYAL AU) @supersoldierslover

Razzy || Summary: “I’m gonna be a dad!” @thesharkapologist

Aerials || No Summary @aikibriarrose

When I Was Your Man || No Summary @winterschild999

To Whom It May Concern || Summary: How Steve Rogers meets his soulmate, you. Set to To Whom It May Concern by The Civil Wars @thesoftdumbass

Memory || Summary: Steve Rogers and his wife recall special moments during an anniversary party. Written for Caplans Drabble songfic challenge. Story based upon the George Strait song “Rockin’ in the arms of your memory tonight”

Commercial Break || You just couldn’t remember what he reminded you of, but corny, repetitive holiday commercials had a tendency of sticking with you forever. Especially when they were so memorably relevant. @antivigilante

Sunshine || No Summary @me-a-hopeless-romantic

Ask Me How I Know || No Summary @winter-time-writing-blog

You vs. Ice || Summary: You are last-minute gift shopping on a very snowy day when you slip and face plant right into a national figure. @your-highnessmarvel

The Calm After a Storm || Summary: Reader was excited for a couple days of peace as everyone leaves for a mission. But the storm was not the only thing that caught her by surprise as a shy Steve confesses the reason why he stayed behind. @steve-rogers-personal-hell-blog

Choices || Summary: Steve finally takes the courage to ask [Y/N] to marry him - only to learn he’s out of time.

Desperate Prayers || Summary: With the recent death of his mother, Steve feels so alone.  He desperately prays for someone to understand and love him like his mother did. @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics

Jingle Bell Hell || No Summary @haven-in-writing

The End of Love || Summary: Summers in New York are magical. It’s a time for new beginnings and adventures. This new beginning is coming to an end, whether you like it or not. @haven-in-writing

Starlett || Summary: Stars are so beautiful.  They’re even better with the love of your life right next to you. @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics

Ring of Fire || Summary: AU. An all-consuming love like theirs can either keep them warm at night, or burn everything they know to the ground like a wildfire. @justsomebucky

Quick, Kiss Me || Summary: Agent Peggy Carter is on a mission, finding out what are Daniel and Agent Thompson doing. They are always sneaking off at odd time together. @superfandomdqueensnook

Blue Christmas || Summary: No friends, no family, and nothing to do make for a really crummy Christmas.  Good thing the Brooklyn boys have a big soft spot for you. @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics

Come Home || Summary: you and your girlfriend had a big fight and she stormed out.  Now you’re worried she’s hurt!

A Monster Like Me || Summary: After an incident, a young man remembers how he met his fiancée and the hard path they had that led them to that moment. @writing-mermaid

Risky || Prompt: “I will protect you.” @smoreal

Sick Day || Summary: You fall ill and Bucky leaves his mission to make sure you have the best care possible. @faithers10911

Untitled Fluff || SUMMARY: Reader is having a stressful day at work, but when she gets home her boyfriend surprises her @ruckystarnes

The Big Gesture || Summary: Making first public appearance with your date, at most anticipated movie premier, you thought was a Big gesture. But your date makes even Bigger Gesture by surprising you @lostinthoughtsandfeelings

Would You Mind If I Kissed You? || Summary(which I suck at sorry): Steve finally convinces Bucky to attend one of Tony’s parties. Bucky isn’t too happy about it until he meets a woman who has a less than ordinary request. Maybe this night will be more interesting than Bucky thought. @workingforthewidow

Anyone Who Knows What Love Is || Synopsis: Clint comes home after a long mission with a simple request. (Italics is flashback, per usual) @fan-maddson

Trouble || No Summary @kaunis-sielu

The Brit || Summary: After a dreadful day at work you hope to spend time with your boyfriend Bucky but things REALLY don't go as planned. @kaleenjackson

What Makes a Hero || Summary  Steve found you on the rooftop during a party celebrating a successful mission and tried to find out what’s wrong. @kjs-s

Chapter 1: The tour || Summary: Have you ever wanted something so much that the fear of not getting it makes you wonder if you ever should have wanted it at all? Steve Rogers is the last one of the royal lineage. The moment he got crowned King, the court and his mother pressured him to get married and have an heir. But he wants to find love in this cold world where everyone is moved around like a chess piece. @randomstoriesofabunny

Disappeared || Description: This is another writing challenge! Basically, it’s ‘How to train your god of mischief’ @battlechicklovefanfic

“Ew, that’s disgusting!” || Summary: You learned your soulmate wasn’t from around here. Never would have guessed they’d be an Alien, but when SHIELD knocks down your door and doesn’t give you a choice in the matter, you know you’ll just have to follow along until they figure out if you hate humantiy. So, what happens when your first meeting doesn’t go as you’d dreamed as a child? @haiky-u-lously

With You || Summary: Loki is being his usual grumpy self and you do everything in your power to make him smile again. @your-highnessmarvel

Boundless || Summary: Sweet loves with a bittersweet ending. || modern au @captainmarvels

Bitter Christmas || Summary: I’m out shopping at the worst time of the year and I see you with your new gf at a jewelry store AU

Side to Side || Summary: With your loud music playing, you wake Bucky up in the middle of the day but the song seems to grow on him. @buckysmetallicstump

Miláčik || Summary: Pietro x Reader. You met Pietro in what had to be the most hopeless place @witchymarvelspacecase

Naught Girl || Summary:Bucky's fiance' has a special surprise planned for him when he arrives home from his mission. @laprofesoratinacita

Bridge to Forever || Summary: Bucky and Y/N reminisce about their relationship. Everyday wasn’t wine, roses and caviar. In the end, the unshakeable bond they shared prevailed. @buckybarnesappreciationsociety

Dirty Laundry || No Summary @thefandomimagines

Talk Dirty || No Summary @buckysmusculararm

Shape of You || Summary: It was one of the many parties Stark liked to organize. The motive behind it was simple, he is and I quote: ‘A genius, billionaire, playboy and a philanthropist,” so he could throw all the parties he wanted. Sam spotted a beautiful woman at a party and he fell in love with her. Inspired by the song Shape of you by Ed Sheeran. @randomstoriesofabunny

Blue Ain't Your Color || Summary: Tony walks into a bar and finds himself in the presence of an angel. If only he could get her to smile. @haven-in-writing

Bad Things With You || No Summary @axidental-pol

What About Us || Summary: Based on the song ‘What About Us’ by P!NK. Here’s a link <3 @jennareedus

I'm Yours || Summary: Out at the bar, with karaoke @superfandomdqueensnook

Sorry Not Sorry || Summary: You live in Asgard and are the daughter of an esteemed general. You have to go to a banquet being held by Odin. Loki just broke up with you, and you’re feeling insecure. After talking with your friends, they convince you to go to the banquet and just to ignore him. However, that’s not what actually ends up happening. @xx-multi-fandom-fics

Accidentally in Love || No Summary @lostinthoughtsandfeelings

Vienna || Summary: Sebastian and Y/N are taking a time-out while Sebastian finishes up filming for his new movie. They’re not splitting up for Sebastian it feels that way and in one final attempt at making amends, he shows up unexpectedly at Y/N’s door. @hellomissmabel

Jealous | No Summary @buckys-other-punk

Amnesia || Summary: You and Bucky have broken up recently, however, he can never forget the relationship you both had.After you suddenly move on he’s is hurt about you finding someone new, and wishes to wake up with amnesia to forget the pain it is causing him to see you with another and regrets ever hurting you. @skywalkerwitch

Only You to Trust || Summary:  All the glitz and glam that LA was known for only served to hide the painful truth about people. Based on the song ‘The Hills’ by The Weeknd. @justanotherbuckydevotee

Turf Wars || Summary  You found out your girlfriend works for the mobster queen of your part of the city after an attack on your old neighborhood @kjs-s

Puppy Love || Summary:Pietro talks to the reader about the girl he just met making them jealous but they are up for a surprise. @kjs-s

A Marshmellow World || Summary:  In which being caught in an embarrassing moment by your crush leads to a date with him. – Steve x Reader

Sandcastles and Dreams || Summary:  Just after he was finally ready to move on Bucky starts getting vivid dreams, about the life he always wanted with you. @lostinthoughtsandfeelings

Unbreak My Heart || Summary  Steve found you on the rooftop during Peter’s birthday party. @kjs-s

Secret Santa || Summary & A/N: This was part of @caplansteverogers Christmas Challenge – my prompt was “they did secret Santa at work, and I got you and I have no idea what to get you so I’m pretending that I’m not stalking you when I am and I learn all these cute things about you.” So here it is!

Because I Really Like You || Summary: The reader moves to New York, knowing no one. Until her handsome neighbors makes an appearance and shows her she is not alone anymore. @americaswritings

Failed Movie Night || Summary: You fall asleep on the couch after a full day with Steve Rogers. He helps you out and carries you to bed when you tell him it’s too cold to get out from under the blankets on the couch. @surrounded-by-superheroes

Love Wins ||  Summary: A drunken night out, feelings and make up sex in the kitchen. What could be better??? @prettyyoungtragedy

“I would have did anything for you...” || Summary: Sometimes love just isn’t enough to keep the pain at bay, sometimes it better to love someone from a far. @prettyyoungtragedy

I Miss You || Summary: Three little words have always held so much importance for you and Bucky, and in the end, you’ll miss him more than you could’ve ever imagined. @beefybuffybucky

His Best Friend || Summary: Takes place during Civil War. The reader had been friends for a long time with Steve. He has told her about the Winter Soldier but ever since the day that she met him, she couldn’t get him out of her mind. @xx-multi-fandom-fics

Piece By Broken Piece || Synopsis:The reader has been released from your duties as a H.Y.D.R.A. agent, the contract agreed upon by your father fulfilled. Now free, you have found yourself living at the Avengers Compound, piecing your life together with the help of Tony Stark and B.A.R.T. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but coming face to face with Bucky Barnes, the man who trained you, was a massive bump in the road to recovery. To your surprise, Bucky remembers you, the life you had together. And he is wracked with guilt, blaming himself. @fan-maddson

Puppies Summary: The Team was gone on a month long mission, and y/n was finding staying in to be boring. But when she finds a box by her coffee shop, she can’t wait to show her girlfriend, Nat, what surprises await. @emergenciesstory

Him & I || Summary: You and Bucky Barnes have been dating for a few months and developed a bit of a routine. Who knew Rory Pond would help you realize your feelings? @nosleeptillbucky

Love Me Like You Do || Summary: Bucky Barnes is the bar manager where you work as a bar maid. You’ve had a decent crush on him since he started working there. It’s karaoke night and the bar is almost empty. What could happen? @ela-loves-you

A Piece of You || No Summary @ellaxvasiliev

Control || Summary: Loki’s wife comes home to a quiet house, far too quiet. @kaleenjackson

Why Are You Wearing My Sweater? || Summary: Lance's girlfriend finds a way to "keep him close" while he's away @laprofesoratinacita

Bad Bitch || No Summary @buckysforeverprincess

One Call Away || No Summary @nerdy-bookworm-1998

New Rules || Summary: The aftermath of your break up with Pietro @kjs-s

Here || Summary: You’re at a club that you didn’t want to go to in the first place, but a man named Steve makes things better. @anaboo-thewriter

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 16/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016 2017 2018 2019 2019-redux

Many thanks AGAIN to @celandinebergerac, @phisworld14, @redfurrycat and @nevergettingoverit for being my sounding boards as I hashed this out. First chapter was 2nd April, and four months later it's all done. THANK YOU.

EPILOGUE

                The last year has been good. Bits of it absolutely great and he no longer keeps second guessing or waiting for something terrible or bad to happen. Maybe he’s finally used up his allotted lifetime amount of bad things. He and Mav have mended their relationship, definitely helped along by Penny, Amelia and Jake, carrying conversation and easing lingering awkwardness when it happens. Then Mav had asked him to be his best man at his wedding to Penny and that had been a whole other experience. It had been a December wedding, their leave period finally not getting sabotaged by new assignments or natural disasters. Instead they’d found themselves working together at the Hard Deck for two weeks while Mav and Penny had a honeymoon and then spending their first Christmas together.

                His morning coffee cup now has a photo of his original morning coffee cup on it. Everyone had thought it was a gag gift at Christmas, but it hadn’t been. A picture of a cup just says I’m thinking of you, Wish you were here, I’m sorry, I miss you. It covers a multitude of things and it’s one of his most prized possessions. Jake’s family has become his family; Mav, Penny and Amelia are an extension of that for Jake as well. Amelia has helped stop Jake almost hero-worshipping Mav at least, calling Mav out on his stupid shit and then looking to Jake for back-up, clearly not expecting it from Bradley. Despite the fact that Bradley agrees with her all of the time his relationship with Mav still feels a little too fragile to withstand constant poking and prodding like what Amelia seems to take joy in.

                Amelia and Susie get on almost too well, something that terrifies Jake. Amelia had said she’d always wanted a sister; Bradley had been dumb enough to ask if she’d ever wanted a brother. She’d just rolled her eyes, asked why she’d ever want one of those and he’d shut his mouth, ignored the silent laughing coming from Mav’s corner of the living room. Why indeed. His life feels full to brimming, and he cannot wait to get back to them now, but especially Jake.

                Although he’s a little confused and more disappointed that Jake isn’t there to meet him when he gets off his flight, but he’d told Bradley he’d be waiting for him at home. He’s tired, has missed him and cannot wait to crawl into bed with him. He doesn’t care if it’s for sex or sleep right now, although he does hope it’s sex and then sleep. It’s been a three-month separation, definitely not the longest they might be apart, but definitely the longest so far since they started afresh with all cards on the table and no more secrets between them. Or simply things they’ve never mentioned, like names.

                He drags himself toward Jake’s condo, his own house filled with Daggers. They’re still a squadron, however they’re often used in training exercises now and split in half as and when needed. He’s been in the middle of the Atlantic along with Phoenix and Bob, Halo and Omaha and Fritz. He knows his next deployment is with Jake and he cannot wait, and it’s not only to prove to the higher ups that their relationship isn’t of any more concern than Javy and Natasha’s, or Bob, Rueben and Fritz. Although he’s not sure if the higher ups are aware of that one or are taking a very firm head-in-sand approach because they don’t have the forms and paperwork that would encompass what they have. Not his problem he reminds himself as he turns the key and pushes the door open.

                Jake is standing there in his dress whites, looking absolutely fucking gorgeous, well rested and suddenly every nerve in his body is wide awake, sloughed off and away with the sight in front of him. They’ve talked about this, not recently, but in the last year it’s definitely been raised, usually when they were apart, but sometimes when they’ve been wearing them, Jake has given him a slow sly look. The fantasy of fucking in their dress whites, well, more Jake being fucked while wearing them. He thinks he might have swallowed his tongue, ability to talk completely gone as he takes in the sight; he’s into it more than he thought he would be, the time since he’s been with Jake definitely adding to his arousal. He’s not in his whites, definitely not his blues, just his khakis, but Jake knew that and he’s pretty sure Jake doesn’t give a fuck about what Bradley is wearing, it’s all about him.

                “Welcome home.”

                The door swings shut behind him as he steps forward and drops his duffle, the peak of Jake’s hat bumping his head and they’re kissing, hands grasping at each other with the desperation that only separation or danger brings. Holy shit it’s just as well he didn’t come and pick him up, they’d both have ended up under review and facing disciplinary action for ungentlemanly behavior. Fucking your boyfriend in public is definitely not allowed.

                “Jake…”

                “Please.”

                “Fuck. Don’t need to tell me twice.”

                His cock is already half-hard, and if he’s developing a conditioned response to seeing Jake in his whites then that’s going to be a terrible problem for future-Bradley. Then Jake drops to his knees, his mouth already pressing against the fly of his pants and Bradley groans. He takes off Jake’s hat and tosses it toward the sofa, and they’re definitely going to need to pay special attention to cleaning everything later but right now there are more pressing matters at hand.

                “What do you want?”

                “Going to get you hard with my mouth, then I want you to bend me over the sofa and fuck me. Okay?”

                “Yes sir…” Bradley says with a smirk, because Jake’s acting all demanding but nothing he’s said is a hardship in any way. He is so onboard with everything, and Jake isn’t going to have to work to get him fully hard at all. “God I’ve missed you.”

                Jake’s crinkling eyes tell him he’s smiling against his cock, his fingers working the zip of Bradley’s fly down and Bradley works at his belt buckle, carefully pulling it free and undoing the button, shoving his pants and underwear down, his cock springing free and Jake simply opens his mouth and starts sucking. No tease, no finesse or any slow introduction. Not that he needs or wants it, more than okay with Jake directing the show, just runs his fingers through Jake’s hair and lets himself enjoy the hot tight suction for what it is; a means to an end that Jake has been fantasizing about for years. It’s not even a couple of minutes before Jake in rising to his feet, his hand curling around Bradley’s cock and he’s leading Bradley by his cock toward the sofa. He can’t help the little laugh, loves that they can be silly with each other like this, his awkward shuffling walk because his pants are still on, although they’re slowly falling with each step.

                He takes in the throw over the back of the sofa with a smirk, already knows it’s there to cover up stains and to stop more stains. Like they already know exactly how the height of the back of the sofa is perfect for being bent over, a happy coincidence considering Jake’s sister had bought it. Jake is reaching for something, coming back with lube but no condom. They still use them occasionally, have stashes of the latex-free type in the glove boxes of their vehicles, wallets, bathroom, bedroom… he’s probably never without one except when he’s in his flight suit now that he thinks about it. At home like this though…

                “We making a mess Jake?”

                “Yes. Yes we are. You leave those pants around your ankles. I want it hard. Want to feel it later.”

                “Yeah?” Bradley asks, and his cock jumps at the thought and Jake’s hand squeezes around him in response.

                “Yeah. Think you can manage that? Not too tired?”

                Bradley rolls his eyes, reaches to slap him on the ass over his pants but then grabs a cheek firmly, rubbing his palm in a circle and then grabbing again and pulls him in closer

                “Never too tired for you.”

                “Promise?”

                “Promise.”

                Then he’s pushing his hands under the jacket to get to Jake’s buckle, flicks it open and reaches his hand inside, runs his fingers over the hard flesh of his erection, rolling the underwear down slightly. Steps forward to capture Jake’s mouth in a filthy slide of lips, wants to get in as much kissing as he can while they’re facing each other like this, Jake pushed up against the sofa but not yet bent over it. Then Jake is spreading lube on his cock and Bradley groans, feels the head of his cock rub against the rougher fabric of Jake’s pants and god he must really not care about getting them messy. He pulls them down carefully, easing the tailored fabric over the bulge of his erection and swell of his ass cheeks. Jake rolls his hips and Bradley shifts forward, wraps his hand around Jake’s erection and his own, encourages Jake’s fingers to do the same and swallows the gasping breath made against his mouth.

                He’d prefer to be naked, to have Jake naked, but he is also all about fulfilling all of Jake’s wants and needs. Is glad Jake’s not holding back going for what he wants and knows it’s because they’ve got a decade of open and honest communication as a foundation even if their few later years of communication weren’t quite up to the same standard. He thinks they’re both there now. He runs his other hand over Jake’s ass, glad it’s bare now, runs a teasing finger between the cheeks, fully expects to feel lube but more surprised by the feel of firm silicon. A plug. He groans and pushes on it, feels Jake’s body jerk against him, his smile against his lips.

                “Oh my god Jake…”

                “Told you. Want it hard.”

                “Yeah. Okay. Fuck. Turn around.”

                He pushes Jake so he’s bracing himself on his forearms, ass sticking out, a strip of flesh framed by his jacket on his torso and covering his flank and most of his ass, the pants tight around his thighs where Jake has spread his legs to stop them from falling but also to give Bradley some room to just look. The plug is dark blue and he taps at it, wonders how long Jake’s has had it in. Waiting for him to come home.

                “Fuck.”

                He tugs on the plug, pulling it so the broadest bit is stretching Jake’s hole, then he pushes it back in, rubs his cock against the swell of Jake’s ass cheek and swallows roughly.

                “Fuck you’re gorgeous like this.”

                “Want to be gorgeous on your cock, come on…”

                He huffs in amusement but he’s achingly hard now, wants to press into the tight heat and give Jake exactly what he wants. Just because he needs to, for his own peace of mind, he drags the plug all the way out and then pushes it back in, over and over, watching with hypnotized fascination as Jake’s body opens and then closes around it, all while Jake swears at him and thrusts against nothing. He grabs the lube, uses it on the plug and spreads more on his cock, isn’t going to give Jake any warning.

                On the next pull out he presses in with his cock, feels the resistance give way to slick tight heat and he moans Jake’s name as he pushes forward, fingers digging into Jake’s ass, little circles of white looking like halos around each fingertip as he just keeps pushing and pushing. He pulls back slowly, controlled, and Jake lets out a shuddering breath that is partly his name. He presses forward again, leaning forward with his entire body so he can kiss the side of his head, whisper into his ear.

                "Going to mess you up…"

                "Please…"

                He moves firmly, not slow and soft, but it’s also not as fast as Jake likely wants, not yet. There’s a difference between hurting him and making sure he feels this later though. He curls one of his hands in Jake’s hair, the other squeezing an ass cheek possessively, Jake’s legs spread as far as they can within the confines of his pants, probably stretching the limit of the cotton holding the seams together. He knows Jake probably won’t care if the pants rip a little, not at the seams. Those can be mended.

                It’s only five or six firm slides, his pelvis pressed tight against Jake’s ass, balls catching on his bunched up pants than Jake jerks and presses back with more force, little grunting sound the tell that Bradley was waiting for. He’s glad Jake can’t see the smug grin on his face, wouldn’t at all work in his favor right now. He pulls back and snaps his hips forward, knows that this is what Jake was angling for, digs his fingers into the flesh of his ass and hips, pulls him toward him as he thrusts forward. Knows he’s likely leaving little bruising marks, that’s also part of what Jake wants.

                He lets himself lose it a little, the feeling of Jake around him and under his fingers, the sight of his cock sliding into his ass and the ass almost hidden by the crisp white fabric, doesn’t know if he’s imagining the smell of starch used to make them stiff, the sound of flesh slapping but also muffled by the fabric. His khakis are sticking but he doesn’t care, can feel his orgasm approaching in the tight twirling sensation in his gut, building heat. Sex with Jake always makes him feel so good, glad to be alive all over again and that they found each other.

                Jake is making little gasping sobs, none of the half-formed words he’s managing are coherent. He’s dropped to his chest against the back of the sofa, pressing his ass back and Bradley knows he’s close, his body taut with pressure. He's gorgeous. His. He moves faster, pace increasing as he watches and feels Jake’s body tighten, tighten, tighten. He moves a hand around to Jake’s chest, presses his fingers into the ribbons there. He pulls back and thrusts in deeper, repeating the movement, using the full range available without pulling out completely.

                “Bradley… ah…ah…"

                “Come on Jake. Make a mess.”

                He increases his pace, can see Jake’s arm jerking, meaning his hand is working his cock, pumping furiously, and then he's coming, hand still moving as he comes and Bradley doesn't stop, keeps thrusting as he watches Jake’s body jolt and twitch and then feels the sudden crest of his own orgasm wash through him and he groans loudly, presses against Jake and moves in slow grinding circles as it shudders through him. He kisses the side of Jake’s face, wraps an arm around him and he smiles, lets them have the quiet for now. Know the snark will start back soon enough, although if he’s fucked Jake well enough he might be spared a few hours or even a day.

                “You know, if this is the welcome I get every time I get back from being deployed I’m going to start looking forward to leaving you. Only so I get to come back to you.”

                “Mmm,” Jake says and Bradley grins so wide he has to smash his lips together to hold back the little bubble of laughter that wants to escape.

                “Sleepy huh?”

                “Yeah. I’ve been looking forward to that for weeks and been fantasizing about it for years.”

                “Oh… sorry I made you wait so long. You think we should invest in a set of uniforms solely for fucking around in?”

                “No. I want you to look at me and know you’ve fucked me in it.”

                Bradley groans, his groan echoed by Jake as he slowly pulls out. He steps out of his pants after toeing off his shoes, feels weird being half-dressed. Then he rubs his hands down Jake’s back and thighs, gathers him up and directs him toward the bedroom. Yeah, he’s definitely going to end up with a conditioned response to seeing Jake in his whites.

                “I might need to invest in some sewing lessons.”

                He bullies Jake into the shower with him, amused that he’s so soft and tired, kisses him and lets his hands roam everywhere under the guise of getting clean. It’s nice and reaffirming after their months apart and feels like a type of homecoming.

                “Thank you…” Jake murmurs, forehead resting against his neck and Bradley doesn’t hesitate in kissing him again.

                “Mmm, such a hardship. You really put me out having me do all that.”

                “That was so good.”

                “Come on, bed…”

                They dry off, and he’s well aware that there are pieces of various uniforms strewn through the house, but it’s a tomorrow problem. He lies down and pulls Jake into his arms, lets himself be bullied into rolling so Jake can spoon up behind him and hold him, reaches over to turn off the bedside light.

                “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you,” Jake says quietly against his neck, voice so quiet like he doesn’t want to wake him. As if he’s ever fallen asleep that quickly.

                “You literally just thanked me…” Bradley says, amusement lacing his voice because Jake gets loopy when he’s tired and he’s not the one who has been deployed.

                “Shut up. I’m being serious. I mean back in the beginning. Like when we first started chatting online. I’m thanking you for that.”

                “Oh.”

                “Yeah. You were… nice. And good. You made me feel less alone in the world. So thank you.”

                “You’re welcome,” Bradley replies quietly, because they’ve spoken about it obviously, often and it’s something that they sometimes fall back on, writing things down when they’re feeling especially vulnerable. Written words carry more meaning for them, heavier with more thought and intent. Their tempers making spoken words too harsh, spoken too quickly. They know this about each other now and it fills him with confidence that they can overcome anything and everything thrown their way.

                “You look really good in your dress whites.”

                “Mmm. So do you,” Jake says and Bradley has to grin again, because he wasn’t even wearing his whites.

                “Thought you didn’t have a uniform kink.”

                “I don’t. I have a you kink.”

                “Oh. I see. Good to know.”

                “Next time we’re both in our whites will you fuck me again?”

                He groans, yeah, definitely going to have a conditioned response.

                “You don’t want to fuck me instead?”

                “I don’t care, just… can we?”

                “Of course. You know that.”

                God, he’s never going to be able to say no to him.

                “Promise?”

                “Promise.”

THE END

[allieshouts]

SCOTT THE WOZ necessary lore videos

dedicated to my friend @coolboy12345. exclamation marks denote videos of absolute critical lore importance. if a video has no blurb / explanation, assume it is important. it is recommended you watch all of these videos.

I'm sorry for throwing a todolist-shaped rock at your head, coolboy. I really am.

THE INTERNET AND YOU -- not canon, but it's Scott's first true masterpiece and it features a lot of his friends who you will see later

FIRST TIME VAPE SHOP -- Scott introduces Joe, Dom and [Sam]. contains the first instance of the phrase "Hey all, Scott here!"

NINTENDO SWITCH WISH LIST -- the first traditional video in the "Scott the Woz" format

NINTENDO SWITCH PRESENTATION 2017 -- pepto bismol

HISTORY OF SMASH BROS LEAKS -- Critique That Leak & Dick Vitale

TINDER -- really funny

A LOOK BACK AT THE NINTENDO 3DS -- This game blows!

BREATH OF THE WILD ISN'T PERFECT -- Scott ruins his credibility

POLYBIUS -- a pivotal moment in Scott's production value

! A VERY MADDEN 08 CHRISTMAS -- introduces a majority of the main cast

THE GUY GAME -- I just think coolboy will like this one

THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES I , THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES II , THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES III , THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES IV , THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES V -- optional

GAME COMPILATIONS COMPILATION -- send-off to Old Location McGee

SUPER MARIO GALAXY 2 -- introduction to New Location McGee

! GAME STORES -- introduction of Chet Shaft

AS SEEN ON TV -- funny

! IT'S AWESOME BABY!

! HOMECOMING -- introduces new main character

SHOVELWARE VARIETY HOUR ROUND 2 -- provides a good introduction to Data Design Interactive. also, as a side note for coolboy, this is the episode that got me to buy Truth or Lies

! THE GREAT MYSTERIES OF GAMING -- major character deaths, both temporary and permanent

! IT'S A BARGAIN BIN CHRISTMAS -- continuation of murder arc

ANIME GAMES -- battle between Scott and Dr. Anna May

WE DARE -- establishes link between DKBB and anti-virginity

! THE DARK AGE OF NINTENDO -- introduces new main character

! THE DARKER AGE OF NINTENDO -- introduces new main character

! THE DARKEST AGE OF NINTENDO -- introduces new main character; conclusion of "This game blows!"

GAME SHOW GAMES -- my personal all-time favorite episode

! THE TRIAL -- "concludes" murder arc

MARIO PARTY -- very funny romp with Scott, Jeb Jab, and Rex Mohs

! MEMORY CARDS -- major character death

! SPEED DATING -- introduces new main character

! YOU'RE NOT AN RPG GUY -- whole gang get-together

! BORDERLINE FOREVER -- critical to lore

RIDE TO HELL RETRIBUTION -- Scott plays a terrible biker game

! MOBILE GAMES ON CONSOLE -- beginning of robbery arc

GAME BATHS -- funny

! GAMING REVIVALS -- resurrects a few characters, sets up some stuff to be revealed later

TOYS TO LIFE -- very funny romp with Scott, Jeb Jab, and Rex Mohs

MARIO PARTY 2 -- very funny romp with Scott, Jeb Jab, and Rex Mohs

! THE FUNERAL -- sees off a main character

! THE GIFTS OF GAMING -- whole gang get-together with some lore additions

DONKEY KONG BARREL BLAST -- Scott finally faces his virginity

IT CAME FROM THE NINTENDO ESHOP -- introduces Prison Employee

BOARD GAME VIDEO GAMES -- very funny romp with Scott, Jeb Jab, and Rex Mohs

THE COMMERCIAL FAILURE -- ends with a stellar musical number

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DATA DESIGN -- whole gang get-together

CANDY GAMES -- whole gang get-together with temporary character death

! HAVE A BOOTLEG GAMING CHRISTMAS

[sparrow-flight]

Rough Beginnings

First | Prev | Next About the Flight | List of Stories

This was originally a piece of flash fiction. You can read it under the cut. Enjoy!

---

[444 words, 2 minutes]

7 January 2017 Winnipeg, Canada

A little sparrow pit-pats to the front of their father’s bedroom door. They stand outside, small and penguin-like with how their limbs are pressed to their sides. Inside, their father’s ears perk. Gavrill stops his long-overdue unpacking to look at his child.

“What’s up, Hrodwyn?”

Hrodwyn’s lips press together. Their turquoise eyes fall to their cupped hands.

“...Um. I have something for you.”

Gavrill’s eyes light up with his smile. “What is it?”

He stands to walk over. Hrodwyn’s lips remain pursed, small. “We weren’t able to visit in December. I was going to give you this for Christmas.”

They raise their cupped hands and open them. A small crocheted sparrow sits in their hands and they look up at their father with big eyes.

"Oh, Hrodwyn!" Gently, Gavrill scoops up the sparrow in his hands. He strokes its soft head and back with a finger. "Oh, my sweet sparrow, thank you." He pulls Hrodwyn into a hug, squeezes them, and kisses the top of their head. Hrodwyn is tipped over and their face plants straight into their father's chest. They remain there and smile, speaking with a muffled voice. 

"You're welcome. It matches Merethel’s and Hygd's."

"That's very sweet of you. Always so thoughtful," another kiss on the head before Gavrill leans back a bit to peer at Hrodwyn. "What about you? Do you have one, too?"

Hrodwyn leans back and looks up. "They're Christmas gifts, for you guys. I won't make myself a Christmas gift for myself."

"You should! We can have a little sparrow nest," Gavrill chuckles. "One for each in the family, hm?"

Hrodwyn makes a sweet, childlike smile in polite response to their father's childish tone. "Maybe, if I have the time. Mm! I can attach a keychain to it, if you like. I did the same for Merethel and Hygd."

"Sure! Then I can take the little friend wherever I go. Should I give it back to you?"

"Mmhm," a smile and a nod as Hrodwyn scoops the sparrow back in their hands. "If it breaks, tell me and I'll fix it again."

"Mmhm. Thank you, Hrod," Gavrill says again, ruffling their hair. He stands there looking at his child for a while.

So what have you been doing—

Can you help me unpack—

Do you want to help me unpack—

He doesn't commit to an excuse fast enough before Hrodwyn, with the little sparrow nestled in their hands, pit-pat-pit-pats away to attach a keychain. He watches them go, takes a deep breath in, and sighs.

—Hey, don’t worry, she would say. It’ll take time. You’re doing great.

Оh God, I hope so.

[la-femme-au-collier-vert]

From the Library of Anne Rice (Part 2)

Cherubs Angels of Love.  Boston: Little, Brown, & Company, 1994. Inscribed. 

Horst His Work and His World.  New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1984. With a note. 

Arroyo, Raymond. The Spider Who Saved Christmas.  Sophia Institute Press, 2020. Inscribed. 

Chester, Laura. Free Rein. Providence: Burning Deck, 1988. Ownership Signature. Inscribed. 

Frankel, Ellen. The Illustrated Hebrew Bible. New York: Steward, Tabori, & Chang. 

Hendrick, Susan & Vilma Machette. World Colors Dolls & Dress.  Grantville, Maryland: Hobby House Press, 1997. Inscribed.

Kepler, Lars.  The Sandman.  New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2018. With a note. 

Laughlin, Clarence John. Ghost Along the Mississippi. New York: Bonanza Books, 1961.  

Link, Luther. The Devil Mask without a Face.  Reaktion Books, 1995. With a note. 

Lopez, George R. and Perron Andrea. In a Flicker.  AuthorHouse, 2015. Inscribed. 

Nelson, Robert S. and Kristen M. Collins.  Holy Image and Hallowed Ground Icons from Sinai.  Los Angeles, J. Paul Getty Museum, 2007. Inscribed. 

Pearson, Dave. Byzantium and Beyond. The Dave Pearson Trust, 2012. With a note. 

Riesem, Richard O.  Mount Hope.  Landmark Society of Western New York, 1995. Inscribed.

Penny, Louise. The Nature of the Beast. New York: Minotaur Books, 2015. Signed and inscribed by Penny to Anne Rice.

Penny, Louise. A Great Reckoning. New York: Minotaur Books, 2016. With Anne Rice ownership signature and inscription.

Penny, Louise. Glass Houses. New York: Minotaur Books, 2017. Advance reading copy. Signed and inscribed by Penny to Anne Rice.

Penny, Louise, Kingdom of the Blind. New York: Minotaur Books, 2018. First edition, signed and inscribed by Penny to Anne Rice.

Penny, Louise.  A Better Man. New York: Minotaur Books, 2019. Signed and inscribed by Penny to Anne Rice.

Cazeau, Jean-Louis and Rick Knowlton. A World of Chess. Jefferson, NC: McFarland and Company, 2017. Inscribed by Knowlton to Anne Rice on the half-title: "You have given me many hours of pleasure with your vampire series! May you enjoy this peculiar corner of world culture I have been exploring...."

Brown, Nancy Marie. Ivory Vikings: The Mystery of the Most Famous Chessmen in the World and the Woman Who Made them. New York: St. Martin's Press, 2015. With Anne Rice ownership signature and annotations in red ink throughout.

Chernev, Irving and Kenneth Harkness. An Invitation to Chess. New York: Fireside Book, 1985. Minor annotations in red ink by Anne Rice throughout.

Ackroyd, Peter. Dickens. [New York]: HarperCollins Publisher, 1990.

Ackroyd, Peter. Dickens. [New York]: HarperCollins Publisher, 1990.

Bloom, Harold, editor. Charles Dickens. New York, Philadelphia: Chelsea House Publishers, 1987.

Cotsell, Michael. Critical Essays on Charles Dickens's 'Great Expectations'. Boston, Massachusetts: G.K. Hall & Co., 1990.

Dickens, Charles. A Christmas Carol. New York, London: W.W. Norton & Company, 2017. Gift inscription on the flyleaf. 

Dickens, Charles. American Notes. Mineola, New York: Dover Publication Inc., 2017.

Dickens, Charles. Bleak House. New York: Everyman's Library, 1991.

Dickens, Charles. Great Expectations. New York: Barnes & Nobles Classics, 2004.

Dickens, Charles. Great Expectations. New York: Everyman's Library, 1992.

Dickens, Charles. Great Expectations. Norwalk, Connecticut: The Easton Press, 1979.

Dickens, Charles. Hard Times. [New York]: Penguin Classics, 2011.

Dickens, Charles. Little Dorrit. New York: Everyman's Library, 1992.

Dickens, Charles. Nicholas Nickleby. New York: George Routledge and Sons, [1880].

Dickens, Charles. Oliver Twist. New York: Everyman's Library, 1992.

Dickens, Charles. Our Mutual Friend. New York: Everyman's Library, 1994.

Dickens, Charles. The Mystery of Edwin Drood. New York: Modern Library, 2009.

Dickens, Charles. The Old Curiosity Shop. Mineola, New York: Dover Publication Inc., 2003.

Dickens, Charles. The Uncommercial Traveller and Reprinted Pieces. Oxford, New York: Oxford University Press, 1989.

Forster, John. The Life of Charles Dickens, Volume 3: 1852-1870. [Cambridge, England]: Cambridge University Press, 2011.

Goodheart, Eugene, editor. Critical Insights: Charles Dickens. Pasadena, California and Hackensack, New Jersey: Salem Press, 2011.

Hammond, Mary. Charles Dickens's 'Great Expectations.' [London]: Ashgate, 2015.

Ingham , Patricia. Dickens, Women & Language. Toronto, Buffalo: University of Toronto Press, 1992.

Jordan, Joseph P. Dickens Novels as Verse. Madison, Teaneck: Fairleigh Dickinson University Press, 2014.

Jordan, John O. The Cambridge Companion to Charles Dickens. [Cambridge, England]: Cambridge University Press, 2001.

Nelson, A.N. The Mystery of Charles Dickens. [New York]: Harper, 2020.

Pykett, Lyn. Critical Issues: Charles Dickens. [New York]: Palgrave, 2002.

Slater, Michael. Dickens and Women. Stanford, California: Stanford University Press, 1983.

Slater, Michael. The Great Charles Dickens Scandal. New Haven and London: Yale University Press, 2012.

Tomalin, Claire. Charles Dickens: A Life. [New York]: Penguin Books, 2011.

Tomalin, Claire. The Invisible Woman. New York: Vintage Books, 1991.

Wilson, Angus. The World of Charles Dickens. New York: The Viking Press, 1970.

[archduchessofnowhere]

“A portent of the catastrophe in the making”: on sources and misquotations regarding Rudolf’s last Christmas

In my post about Rudolf’s last present to his mother I told you I had a second post about the Christmas of 1888, which turned out to be the last Christmas of Rudolf’s life. This post is, however, a little different to the Heine one, since this time I’ll be talking about the sources themselves. Please bear with me because this will be long, and probably also kinda dull.

To be honest I was not planning to write this post. But when I was preparing the Christmas posts I shared the 24, I came across a quote from Greg King and Penny Wilson’s Twilight of Empire I had shared previously on this blog two years ago:

Three aromatic blue fir trees, branches alight with wax candles and bedecked with gilded ornaments, stood over tables crowded with gifts when the imperial family gathered at the Hofburg to celebrate Christmas. Rudolf had bought toys for his young daughter at Vienna’s traditional Christkindlmarkt, or Christmas market; for his mother he had purchased some original letters written by her favorite poet, Heinrich Heine—a thoughtful gift that the empress all but ignored [71]. Indeed, Elisabeth seemed most taken with showing off her latest, unlikely acquisition: Much to her husband’s horror, she’d had her shoulder tattooed with an anchor [72].

Smiles and gifts couldn’t conceal the undercurrent of tension. Something was so obviously wrong with Rudolf that Elisabeth pulled Marie Valerie aside and again warned her of her brother’s malicious behavior. Then she turned to her son. After making him promise that he would be kind to Marie Valerie, Elisabeth embraced Rudolf and said that she loved him. Hearing this, Rudolf collapsed into agonized sobs; his mother, he cried, hadn’t said those words “for a long time.” [73] Franz Josef and Elisabeth were embarrassed at the display; neither recognized their son’s emotional breakdown as a last, dramatic cry for help as Rudolf slipped ever closer to the edge of an abyss. (2017, 98)

And I realized that there is a huge misquotation here. King and Wilson explicitly cite “73. Marie Valerie, diary entry of December 24, 1888, in Schad and Schad, 164-65” as the source of Rudolf telling his mother that she hadn’t sad to him that she loved him “for a long time”. But I have the very same edition of Valerie’s diary, and this is what she actually wrote down (on January 3, recounting the events of Christmas Eve):

Rudolf and Stephanie left with the King [?] before seven o’clock and Mama promised to come over with us as soon as it was done. When the three of us were now in Mama’s toilet room, Papa said he was surprised that Stephanie didn’t find it offensive that Rudolf had been taken into confidence [regarding the engagement] before her… they should get him. Mama hugged him and said with sisterly tenderness: “I love you so much.” I can’t say how happy that made me, because it made him feel so good, he hugged her and asked with great emotion: “No, really? It hasn’t been for a long time.” Excited as I was, I immediately began to cry and yet I was doubly happy that it was Franz [Salvator, Archduke of Austria-Tuscany]’s and my bond of pure young love that had brought my parents this sacred and beautiful hour of union.

Like, she clearly is talking about Elisabeth telling Franz Josef she loved him, and is he who replies that she hadn’t say that “for a long time”. Rudolf had already left when this happened, and Valerie explicitly states she is talking about her parents (“that had brought my parents this sacred and beautiful hour of union”). I couldn’t understand how this error even happened; they are literally citing Valerie’s published diary, the mistake is just baffling. Could they really have read the diary so badly? What was going on?

Since just one mistake in citation is enough to make you doubt an entire book, I started to double check the other two sources King and Wilson cite for this passage:

71. Hamann, Reluctant Empress, 339; Listowel, 207; Morton, Nervous, 177-79; Salvendy, 144-5. 72. Morton, Nervous, 179.

Hamann is obviously the source for Elisabeth ignoring the Heine letters (as I wrote in my post about the present). As for Listowel and Morton their books simply describe the Christmas trees and presents, mention Valerie’s engagement, and finally note that Rudolf “hugged his future brother-in-law. When he put his arms around his mother, there broke out of him a sudden sob” (Morton, 1980, 170) and  “solemnly promised [to look after his sister], but with such a sad expression that Valerie felt almost frightened” (Listowel, 1986, 207). No source cited by neither of them.

Not a great start for my misquotation hunt. But my luck changed when I looked up John Salvendy’s work. The book that King and Wilson cited is Royal Rebel: A Psychological Portrait of Crown Prince Rudolf of Austria-Hungary, published in 1988. Sadly this book isn’t on the archive but after a lot of perseverance I was able to get a peak at pages 144-45 through Google Books. And guess what I found out:

Rudolf’s last Christmas, that in 1888, had a crucial effect on his assessment of his mother’s inclination towards him. Valerie described what happened following Rudolf renewed reassurance to Elisabeth of his benevolence toward his younger sister and her future husband: “Mama embraced him and told him affectionately how much she loved him… he was so moved and said that he had not heard it for long time”. [54] (144)

Reading this passage felt like being a school teacher that catches a student cheating on a test because they copied the same mistake as their seat neighbor. Now, I’m not saying that Greg and Wilson never read Valerie’s diary, but they absolutely were quoting Salvendy instead of the published edition of the diary when writing the Christmas Eve passage of their book and forgot to double check it. This however opened a second mystery, and one that will remain open for the time being: how did Salvendy make this mistake? Because he also cites Valerie’s December 24 entry as the source:

Which is just wrong. Google books didn’t let me see the bibliography page so I don’t know where did Salvendy got Valerie’s diary, because by the 1980s the original manuscript wasn’t available to the public anymore. But until I can see the bibliography the mystery will remain open; as of know, I’ll consider him the sole responsible of the misquotation.

By this point in my journey of double checking sources I started to wonder which are the sources for Rudolf’s alleged breakdown on his last Christmas, because at no point in the whole entry of December 24 Valerie mentions such thing (you can read it fully here). The only thing that she wrote about her brother was “Rudolf was watching her [Empress Elisabeth], then me, and was very friendly”, and again, after she got engaged “It may have been 8 o’clock when we went over to Rudolf’s, Papa and Mama in front, Franz [Salvator] and I behind - arm in arm. He gave us a very friendly welcome and even kissed Franz” (1998, 164, 166). No word of the supposed breakdown.

So does this mean it didn’t happen? Not necessarily. Brigitte Hamann, in her 1978 biography of Rudolf, quotes a second account of the Christmas Eve of 1888: that of Countess Marie Festetics, lady-in-waiting of Empress Elisabeth. In 1909, Festetics was interviewed by historian Heinrich Friedjung, who wrote of their talk:

However, the Empress knew about the Crown Prince’s shattered health from the scene at Christmas before he died.… On Christmas Eve, the Empress led Crown Prince Rudolf to his sister, the bride, and told him that she hoped that he would always look after his sister with kindness after the parents had passed away. At this point, the Crown Prince flung his arms around her neck and burst into lengthy, uncontrollable sobbing, which alarmed her greatly. This was a portent of the catastrophe in the making. The Empress and the Emperor, too, burst into tears. Immediately after this scene, Countess Marie and the adjutants were called to the Christmas tree and found the members of the Imperial family still tear-stained and emotional. One did not give his remarks that he was nearing his end the importance they deserved, remembering them only later. (2017)

Festetics account seems to be the main (and so far, also only that I could find) source for Rudolf crying in front of his family on December 24 of 1888. But how can we reconcile this statement with Valerie’s diary? Whose words weight more, Festetics recounting an event twenty years after it happened, with the hindsight of knowing that Rudolf took his own life less than a month later? Or Valerie’s account, written a few days after the event but biased by the happiness of her engagement?

A possible answer to this dilemma may be found on a previous entry from Valerie’s diary, dated December 16:

After dessert, Mama asked Papa to entertain Stephanie while she called Rudolf into her toilet room with me to “tell him a secret.” He seemed excited, even frightened, by this and I don’t think he was pleased. But he wasn’t unfriendly at all and so I felt encouraged to throw my arms around his neck for the first time in my life… Poor brother, he also has a warm heart in need of love - for he embraced and kissed me with all the intimacy of true brotherly love - and again and again he drew me to his heart, you could feel that it did him good that I showed him the love that had been almost suffocated by fear and shyness for so long. Mama asked him to always be good for me, for us, once we were dependent on him, and he swore and affirmed it simply and warmly. Then she put the cross on his forehead and said that God would bless him for it (and it would bring him luck) - she assured him of her love and he kissed her hand fiercely and was deeply moved. I thanked him and embraced Mama and him in a hug, saying almost unconsciously, “We should always be like this!” (1998, 157)

Doesn’t this sound almost identical to the scene Festetics described? Couldn’t it be that she is actually misremembering the scene that took place December 16 as happening on Christmas Eve?

I’m reaching to the end of the post and I don’t really have an answer. This started simply as a “double checking King and Wilson because they misquoted something” then it turned into “tracking down accounts by people that saw Rudolf the Christmas Eve of 1888” and finally into “contrasting the only two accounts of said day, which actively contradict each other”. And even after all that, I still can’t tell you for sure whether Rudolf actually cried or no in front of his whole family on December 24. Personally I feel more inclined to believe that Festetics misremembered the dates, but who knows, maybe Valerie actively decided to omit any unrest that happened during the day on her recount, remembering only the happiness that she thought her “pure young love” brought to her family.

Writing this post made me reflect a lot not only on the importance of sources, but also of the importance of sources in its original context. Because neither of the two accounts that we have now come from the hands of Marie Festetics and Valerie themselves: we have what Friedjung wrote down of his conversations with Festetics, and we have the copies made by Corti and Sexau of Valerie’s diary, not her original manuscript. Which opens a lot of more options as to why the two testimonies don’t match. Either way, is disappointing that almost no book about Rudolf and Mayerling notice this contradiction, and instead inadvertently (or not) repeat the same information, sometimes with the same mistakes.

Sources:

Hamann, Brigitte (2017). Rudolf. Crown Prince and Rebel (translation by Edith Borchardt)

King, Greg and Wilson, Penny (2017). Twilight of empire: the tragedy at Mayerling and the end of the Habsburgs

Listowel, Judith (1986). A Habsburg tragedy: Crown Prince Rudolf

Morton, Frederic (1980). A nervous splendor: Vienna, 1888/1889

Schad, Martha and Schad, Horst [ed.] (1998). Das Tagebuch der Lieblings Tochter von Kaiserin Elisabeth. 1878-1899

[cherrybombfangirlwrites]

my writeblr (re)introduction

Hi, I'm Anna. I've been on the writeblr side of tumblr since June last year, and I figured- new year, about time for a new intro. I'll be doing new WIP and character intros as well very soon.

About the Author

20-something years old / She/Her / Aroace

A burntout gifted kid, (sorta late diagnosed) Autisic and ADHDer

my sideblog for nerdy and fangirly stuff (mainly about my ocs and fanfics about them) is @cherrybombfangirl that i'm currently trying to revive

Favorite Movies: Captain America: The Winter Soldier /// Wonder Woman (2017) /// Wonder Woman 1984 /// Lilo and Stitch /// The Amazing Spiderman 1 & 2 /// Black Widow /// Ghostbusters (the entire franchise, all of it) /// LEGO Batman /// Megamind /// Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy (what other two movies?) /// How to Train Your Dragon Trilogy /// The Nightmare Before Christmas /// Coraline /// Boxtrolls /// Enchanted /// The Little Mermaid /// Maleficent /// Princess Bride /// The Great Mouse Detective /// Anastasia /// Ocean's 8 /// Kung Fu Panda 1 & 2 /// Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves /// Dead Poet's Society /// Puss in Boots: The Last Wish /// Rogue One: A Star Wars Story /// Nimona ///

Favorite Books: Trollhunters /// Land of Stories /// Micheal Vey /// Percy Jackson series /// How to Train Your Dragon series /// Peter and the Starcatchers /// Cry of the Icemark /// Reflection by Elizabeth Lim /// The Unwanteds /// Alex and the Ironic Gentleman /// The Hunger Games Trilogy /// Mysterious Benedict Society /// Dealing with Dragons Series /// Cry of the Icemark by Stuart Hill /// Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Xhao ///

Favorite TV Shows: Tales of Arcadia: Trollhunters /// Tales of Arcadia: Wizards /// How to Train Your Dragon: Race to the Edge /// Supergirl /// Ninjago /// The Mandalorian /// Kenobi /// Lockwood and Co. /// A Series of Unfortunate Events /// The Dragon Prince /// She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (ND Stevenson’s Reboot) ///

I like to write big casts, with lots of diversity

My characters tend to be very aro/ace coded and adhd/autism coded because I like to project onto my characters a little bit too much

been dreaming up little worlds with little characters in my head since i was little, started writing fanfic at 12, and finally started to draft out my ideas last year

I love love love fantasy and sci-fi, especially the more high stuff, but i like low/urban fantasy and sci-fi. more realistic fiction isn't really my cup of tea, if there's no fantasy or sci-fi elements it doesn't do it for me

My WIPs

Fractured Stars Falling

Intro /// Playlist My dark fantasy, 9 book series of very queer retellings. Including people of color, mentally and physically disabled, and many flavors of queer representation. Themes include trauma and how we deal with it, and tropes include magic that can kill you, chaotic found family, and 'i would kill for you' romances. And it's possibly going to have a prequel series about my thousand year old wizard who is an AuDHDer and a burntout gifted kid and how she got to where she is in the series. Tags: #wip: fractured stars falling

The City is Ours

Intro /// Playlist My low fantasy, 5 book series about a bunch of chaotic teenage superheroes. More people of color, physically and mentally disabled, Jewish and Muslim, and lots of different queer representaion . Themes include forgiveness, are you the hero of the villain, and tropes include domesticity between the action, teenagers being teenagers, and the checkov's civilian. Tags: #wip: the city is ours

Galaxy Destroyer

Intro /// Playlist Previously known as Before the Stars Burn Out, this is my high sci-fi book series about a bunch of morally gray criminals and the "i tried to kill you" to found family pipeline. Like my other wips, lots of representation, including people of color, disabilites of both the physical and mental, and different kinds of queer representation. Themes include what really defines good vs bad, what to do when the system is broken and the two solutions you are presented with suck, and tropes include space criminals accidentally adopting a baby, humans being space orcs, and cool laser gun battles in space. Not sure if it's going to be a trilogy or duology yet. Tags: #wip: galaxy destroyer, wip: before the stars burn out (for older stuff)

unnamed witchy wip

Intro (coming soon) /// playlist (coming soon) a one-eyed (and it's actually disabling) aroace witch. her two familiars, a white cat and blue crow. on the run from a cult of witch hunters that are taking control of the realm by storm. she befriends an undercover witch hunter, no knowing his identity. the witch hunter has an arc with their faith crisis and getting a redemption arc where they end up saving their new friend the witch. Themes include the abuse of religion and finding friendship (but on a very personal level), and tropes include snarky familiars, very personal stakes for the characters, and platonic soulmates. Probably going to be a standalone. Tags: #unnamed witchy wip

unnamed historical fantasy vestal virgin wip

Intro (coming soon) /// playlist (coming soon) it's a baby wip that I don't much on yet. All I know is that it's going to be about one of the vestal virgins in Ancient Rome actually making contact with Vesta (the roman version of Hestia), they become besties and end up protecting each other both from the human and mythological. Also I'm going to get dragons in there somehow. much platonic soulmates <3. Probably going to be a standalone as well. Tags: #unnamed vestal virgin wip

edit: i removed taglists from this post because there is a tag limit, i have them saved somewhere else tho!

[oscarpiastriwdc]

thank youuuuu my beautiful eve @bright-and-burning for the tag 💕 mwah

star sign: triple gemini baby!

favorite holiday: 16 de septiembre for the food!

last meal: i had a mini strawberry swirl cheesecake and a vodka tonic for dinner... very nutritious, i know

current favorite musician: in case you haven't noticed from my main url paramore is the great love of my life. other than them, i've been listening to a lot of talking heads, i saw slaughter beach, dog last weekend, and i'm excited for willi carlisle's album coming out later this month!

last song listened to: hallelujah by paramore

last movie watched: rewatching Thoroughbreds (2017) as we speak. one of my absolute favorites! (let's be friends on letterboxd)

last tv show watched: i watched the finale of The Curse tonight! deeply weird, 10/10 would recommend

last book finished: Welcome to the O.C.: The Oral History by Alan Sepinwall (a christmas gift from @liamlawsonlesbian)

last book abandoned: The Garden of Eden by Earnest Hemingway (lol)

currently reading: just started a reread of Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond

last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: stigmata

favorite online fandom memory: the night paramore played all i wanted live for the first time and everyone i know and love collectively lost their minds

favorite old fandom you wish would drag you back in/have a resurgence: when i start TSN hyperfixating again it's over for you bitches

favorite thing you enjoy that never had an active or big fandom, but you wish it did: speaking of Thoroughbreds (2017)... it's such an underrated movie that didn't get a wide release and i mourn more people aren't obsessed with it

tempting project you don't have time for: i've been kicking around the idea of organizing a little valentines fic fest but i'm working on a zine that we're publishing around the same time so :(

no pressure tags if you want to share: @creabirds @breathofnyx @liamlawsonlesbian @formula1forfishsticks

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

Today, June 22, SHINee celebrated its 12th anniversary in Japan!

Thank you so much, SHINee WORLD J, for always supporting and loving SHINee! Since today is our anniversary, I want to go back to the memories of SHINee's live tour in Japan with SHINee WORLDJ.

First of all, 'THE FIRST JAPAN ARENA TOUR — SHINee WORLD 2012' which was SHINee's first tour in Japan!

The members were nervous about the first tour in Japan, but they prepared hard, saying, ' We want to show you a great performance!' They were able to complete the tour with cheers and enthusiasm, ^^ It was hard to believe that it was our first tour, so they finished it with cheers and enthusiasm

And at the National Yoyogi Stadium Jeil Gymnasium performance on June 23, there was also a surprise for the first anniversary of Japan's debut! Surprised members enjoy a cake of celebration or take a commemorative photo saying "Let's take a picture with everyone!" ♪

At SHINee WORLD 2013~Boys Meet U~', the second tour had many "challenge" performance as well and on the last day of the tour, it was impressive that they appeared in the form of Christmas ♪ Santa, making the venue noisy!

In 2014, the venue changed from a hall to an arena, and furthermore, SHINee WORLD 2014~I'm Your Boy~, at the end of the Tokyo Dome performance, the members shed tears of joy at the surprise from the venue where the letters "THANK YOU" and "WE LOVE YOU' appeared. The members were a little anxious about the big stage Tokyo Dome, but I think your gifts really gave them a lot of strength.

For you, the performance of the members shining on the stage is engraved in your memories. ^^

And "SHINee WORLD 2016~DxDxD~" were held in 8 places, and the performances were directed from one to ten! In 2016 we were dancing from beginning to end as the title goes!

SHINee and SHINee WORLDJ became one and it was a tour filled with enthusiasm! In "3.2.1", we played on the stage, took pictures in various positions, and each performance was full of charm and smiles. ^^

And in "SHINee WORLD 2016~DxDxD~Special Edition", we changed the set list and finished with "Special Edition" performance!

In "SHINee WORLD 2017~FIVE~", the pose of "the stage prepared because I wanted to do a new challenge" and the fifth tour in Japan was delivered in a variety of different directions! Isn't it the 5th tour where you can feel the charm of the new SHINee with overwhelming performance? ^^

And in Aichi concert, we looked back on the memories with pictures of the venue and the members of each concert to commemorate the 100th concert in Japan! Celebrating by sharing beads with gratitude for being able to perform 100 times ♪ The final of this tour was the National Yoyogi Stadium Jeil Gymnasium, where SHINee held its first concert in Japan.

It's an unforgettable memory for SHINee and SHINee WORLDJ! I hope we can make more memories with you in the future♪ Please continue to support SHINee!

[lola-andheruniverse]

🎄 Caryl Fanfiction Rec - Christmas Edition 🎄

God bless tumblr gifmakers! 🤣 Merry Christmas, dear fellow carylers! I hope you are feeling happy, loved and well-fed, wherever you are! Our caryl fandom love this time of the year! There are dozens of great Christmas fics out there, so I had a hard time on selecting just a few to rec. I hope you like my little list just as much as I do. 🥰 Blue Christmas by @rhinozilla [ 9 Lives ] Summary: Daryl abided by her request to be left alone for two months. Maybe that time has changed both their minds. Anonymous prompt from Tumblr based on "Blue Christmas" cover by the Lumineers.  Rated: T / Teen and Up Audiences Published: December 13, 2016 Caroling Out in the Snow by @spanishrose2002 [ 9Lives | AO3 | FF.net ] Summary: Caryl, Caryl and Lydia.  ZA.  Oneshot.  Carol and Daryl sneak away to make their own Christmas traditions.  Rated: E /Explicit Published: December 07, 2019

Minding by @imorca [ 9Lives | AO3 | FF.net ] Summary: Traplines, the winter solstice, and missing the ability to imagine that comes with the "magical" time of year. Rated: G / General Audiences Published: December 13, 2014

Snickers by Fairies Masquerade [ 9Lives ] Summary: Daryl gets his first Christmas present. - My Caryl Secret Santa gift to grayhairedqueen on tumblr. Rated: G / General Audiences Published: December 26, 2014

The Perfect Gift by Trogdor19 [ 9Lives | FF.net ] Summary: Daryl finds Carol the smallest, most perfect Christmas gift of all, when the first post-apocalyptic Christmas finds Team Family holed up in a Payless Shoes. Between Season 2&3. Rated: G / General Audiences Published: December 25, 2017 

[timeduchess]

Russell T. Davies 2005-2010 Era

What is this? Overall Marathon Post

Steven Moffat 2010-2017 Era

Chris Chibnall 2018-2022 Era

Russell T Davies 2023-Present Era

Episode List Below

DW S1:E1: Rose (First episode of new DW)

DW S1:E2: The End of the World (Relationship development; establishes more of the Doctor's backstory)

DW S1:E3: The Unquiet Dead (Establishes facts relevant to DW: Boom Town and T)

DW S1:E4-5: Aliens of London; World War Three (Introduces Harriet Jones; introduces the Slitheen; relationship development)

DW S1:E6: Dalek (Introduces Adam Mitchell and the Daleks; reveals more of the Doctor's backstory)

DW S1:E7: The Long Game (Adam Mitchell character development; establishes facts relevant to finale)

DW S1:E8: Father’s Day (Introduces Pete Tyler; major character development; Relationship development)

DW S1:E9-10: The Empty Child; The Doctor Dances (Introduces Jack Harkness)

DW S1:E11: Boom Town (Character development)

DW S1:E12-13: Bad Wolf; The Parting of Ways (Finale; major character development)

DW Children in Need 2005: Born Again Minisode

DW 2005 Christmas Special: The Christmas Invasion (First episode with [spoiler]; Establishes facts relevant to series 2 and 3 finales)

DW S2:E2: Tooth and Claw (Introduces Torchwood Institute)

DW S2:E3: School Reunion ([Re]Introduces Sarah Jane Smith; character development)

DW S2:E4: The Girl in the Fireplace (Just a great episode)

DW S2:E5-6: Rise of the Cybermen; The Age of Steel (Major character development; [spoiler] introduced)

DW S2:E9-10: The Impossible Planet; The Satan Pit (Relationship development; also great episodes)

DW S2:E13-14: Army of Ghosts; Doomsday (Finale; major character development)

DW 2006 Christmas Special: The Runaway Bride (Introduces Donna Noble)

T S1:E1: Everything Changes (First episode)

T S1:E2: Day One (Major character/relationship development)

T S1:E3 Ghost Machine (Major character development)

DW S3:E2 Smith and Jones (Introduces Martha Jones)

T S1:E5 Cyberwoman (Major character development)

DW S3:E4: Gridlock ([spoiler] development; will come up in finale; relationship development)

SJA S1:E0: Invasion of the Bane (First episode)

SJA S1:E1-2: Revenge of the Slitheen (Introduces Clyde Langer)

T S1:E5: Small Worlds (Just a great episode)

DW S3:E5-6: Daleks in Manhattan; Evolution of the Daleks (Plot development; events effect later episodes)

T S1:E6: Countrycide (A great episode; major relationship development)

T S1:E7: Greeks Bearing Gifts (Major character development)

DW S1:E7: The Lazarus Experiment (Relationship development)

T S1:E8: They Keep Killing Suzie (Major character/relationship development)

DW S3:E9-10: Human Nature; The Family of Blood (Major character development; establishes facts used in finale)

SJA S1:E5-6: Warriors of Kudlak (A great episode; minor relationship development)

T S1:E10: Out of Time (Character/relationship development)

SJA S1:E7-8: Whatever Happened to Sarah Jane? (Relationship development)

DW S3:E12: Blink (Just a great episode)

T S1:E11 Combat (Relationship development)

SJA S1:E9-10: The Lost Boy (Relationship development)

T S1:E12 Captain Jack Harkness (Reveals more of Jack's backstory; also a great episode)

T S1:E13 End of Days (Finale; major developments)

DW S3:E12: Utopia (Introduces [spoiler]; major character development)

DW S3:E13-14: Sound of Drums; Last of the Time Lords (Finale; major developments)

DW Minisode: Time Crash 2007

DW 2008 Christmas Special: Voyage of the Damned (Just a great episode; Introduces Wilfred Mott)

T S2:E1: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang (Introduces John Hart; Major character/relationship developments)

DW S4:E1: Partners in Crime (Major character development)

DW S4:E2: Fires of Pompeii (Establishes facts used in finale)

T S2:E3: To the Last Man (A great episode; character development)

T S2:E4: Meat (Major character/relationship development)

DW S4:E3: Planet of the Ood (Major plot developments)

T S2:E5: Adam (Reveals more of Jack's backstory)

T S2:E6-7: Reset; Dead Man Walking (Major character development)

T S2:E8: A Day in Death (Major character development)

DW S4:E4-5: The Sontaran Stratagem; The Poison Sky (Establishes facts used in the finale)

DW S4:E7: The Doctor's Daughter (Character development)

T S2:E9: Something Borrowed (Major relationship development)

DW S4:E8: The Unicorn and the Wasp (Great episode)

T S2:E11: Adrift (Great episode; minor character development)

DW S4:E9-10: Silence in the Library; Forest of the Dead (Introduces River Song; great episodes)

T S2:E12: Fragments (Major backstories reveal; major plot development)

T S2:E13: Exit Wounds (Major character/relationship/plot development)

DW S4:E11: Midnight (Great episode)

DW S4:12-14: Turn Left; The Stolen Earth; Journey's End (Finale; Major character/relationship development)

SJA S2:E0-1: The Last Sontaran (Major character development)

SJA S2:E2-3: The Day of the Clown (Introduces Rani Chandra)

SJA S2:E7-8: The Mark of the Berserker (Clyde's family appears)

SJA S2:E9-10: The Temptation of Sarah Jane (Major character development; major backstory reveal)

SJA S2:E11-12: Enemy of the Bane (Plot development; Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart's only appearance in New Who)

SJA S3:E1-2: Prisoner of the Judoon (Events effect future episodes)

SJA S3:E3-4: The Madwoman in the Attic (Major character development)

SJA S3:E5-6: The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith (Major plot development)

DW 2009 Special: The Waters of Mars (Major character development)

T S3:E1-5: Children of Earth (Major character/relationship development)

DW 2009 Specials: The End of Time (Major character development)

[kart0]

Today was not a good day and my mood is terrible and I have no money and I am barely surviving

I have been planning on opening commissions because I really, really need money. All I have, literally, is $0,053. I am not joking. I have R$0,29 ( my currency ). That's all I have on my bank account. and I refuse to use credit bc I know myself and I don't want to owe money. I'm already owing $40 to my mom, bc I had to prepare for a con, which ended up being very bad and I made no profit whatsoever. I borrowed $100 from her and all money I got, I used to pay her back. And I still haven't paid it all.

And I am. Desperate. I have to buy clothes ( haven't gotten new clothes since 2019 ) and I need new shoes ( I always ask for shoes on my birthday, bc I don't have money to get new ones by myself so I use my birthday as an excuse ) and I plan to save money to buy a new computer. I have a notebook that doesn't work, takes around 3 hours. THREE. FUCKING HOURS. to turn on and work properly. I've been meaning to switch to drawing on a pc because my ipad can only do so much ( and it does a lot, I love it, but it doesn't have a lot of options. I can't get clip paint studio on my ipad cuz it's a subscription and it is expensive. I have clip paint on my notebook tho, but it just doesn't work cuz it's too heavy, and I like working on big canvas )

Last year I was looking for a display drawing tablet ( I bought myself a Wacom intuos in 2017, but I couldn't adapt. I am not very coordinated. At that time i would prefer to draw traditionally, and if digital, on my phone with my FINGER. ) and my dad ended up gifting me one that I really loved ! I had been looking for good and cheap alternatives to wacoms, and I was so dedicated into finding one that I'd be able to afford and he ended up gifting me one !!!! I was over the moon !!!! It was pricey, so I got it as a birthday, and Christmas gift combined. My birthday is in August btw so it was toooootally fine. I don't usually get any Christmas gifts anyways. At least not expensive ones, I usually ask for underwear, or socks, or pajamas. Things I need.

I opened the display tablet and then it dawned on me. My notebook suuuuuuuucks. It will be such a hassle to work and just inconvenient. Why would I spend 3 hours turning it on when my ipad it's already there.

Ugh I am sorry I am getting so out of track, I just. I need to explain why, this matters so much to me.

The actual upsetting thing:

I will open comms, and I have been struggling to price my art because. I don't want to fail, and not get any customers cuz it's too expensive. But I can't work for free, lately I've been spending at least 2 hours on every bust I've drawn. And I know it's not the cleanest or sharpest artstyle out there. I keep doubting myself that no one is interested in my art, in me. I have some followers on Twitter, which is my main source of clients. But I barely get any interactions. If my art can barely get any comments or likes or fucking views, then most likely no one will see my commission post, and no one will buy one.

And to make things worse, I have a mutual who is super nice I really like her I think she's awesome and she has great art but she just announced she's planning to open comms too, soon. And I feel so fucking stupid. Everyone was commenting on that post saying "I can't wait" "ohhhh this will be good" "this is so exciting I will definitely comm you" and I got. Nothing.

It's my own fault. I'm the only one to blame. I don't interact a lot. I'm not a part of the community there. I don't have friends there. Even though I have double her followers, I don't have their trust, or their empathy. Maybe I'm just that unlikable. I'm not worth it.

And I feel like I could've done something about it. If I had been braver and posted my comms sheet sooner, before her post. If I tried harder to make friends there. If I posted more art. If I. If I just.

I don't know what to do, and I feel terrible about these thoughts. She deserves it ! She deserves more than I do. She's nicer and I'm just me. A prickly, bored, unfazed, egocentric narcissist who can only cry about themself. I feel such shame, and guilt, but I can't help it. I am a naturally envious, jealous, and putrid shell of a person.

I've been trying to be nicer but I don't have the energy to talk to them, and I feel too awkward. I feel so fucking lonely all the time and I need validation. I seek for love. I want to be seen and loved and cherished. I want them to look at me but I don't do my part. All I'm good is my art, and it's not even that fucking good. My worth is my posts. Gosh, I feel so stupid.

Why am I like this ?

I feel angry to myself that I can't be normal. I don't make friends I don't talk to anyone I don't make connections.

I don't post a lot and I am not that active.

The worst thing even is that I don't even have a job.

I don't want to charge too much, I don't want to get paid too little. I don't want to burn out and not be able to get more comms. I don't want to not get any comms at all.

This other artist is in the same fandom as I am ( haikyuu ) so we basically have the same clients. If I charge too high, they will compare our prices and choose hers. "Her art is better" "her art is worth more" "at least she will offer full bodies, when you only will offer headshots"

They will choose her, and I don't know what to do. I know we're in a crisis, economy is in shambles, and people just can't afford to support both artists. I know that ! I know that and I can't change my pricing because it's already cheap, for me. People always say to charge more but most people just don't want me. And my commissions always tend to look like shit because I am too afraid to upset people. I need to prove they did the right choice by commissioning me. I need them to know I did my best. I want them to be happy. But all I feel is that I'm failing !

I'm failing at everything, look where I am !

I DONT EVEN HAVE A FUCKING DOLLAR. I DONT HAVE 1 DOLLAR. One fucking dollar.

And I feel like I'm going crazy. How could I not ? I don't have a job, I will never get a job, I am barely surviving at college, I have no plans for the future, I am neurodivergent and no one will hire me, I don't work well with other people I am not friendly. I'm just.

I'm bad at being a person.

I don't know what to do. Yes I will be opening comms. And I'm considering lowering my prices. I don't blame this artist at all. It's not her fault, and I know that.

And I don't wish her any harm. I just. I feel envy. Why am I not her.

Why am I so bad at this ?

[backupthere]

...have you ever wondered...

[December 2017]

Dieter has been asleep for a maximum of five minutes when the bedroom door creaks open.

Maybe if he stays very still they’ll go away again.

“Mummy!” Lolly’s still not great at whispering. “Mummy!”

Chelsea tenses next to Dieter. They don’t need to make eye contact or even acknowledge being awake to share the thought pattern. Is it something that will resolve itself if they ignore her, like I-can’t-sleep or is-it-time-to-get-up-yet-?, or is it something that actually needs their input, like I-had-a-bad-dream or I-need-the-toilet?

Dieter still thinks that if Lolly can find the toilet at home, and she can find Dieter and Chelsea’s bedroom at Nan’s house, then she can find the toilet at Nan’s house too, but apparently you’re not allowed to apply logic to children at night.

They weren’t expecting a great night’s sleep, because they had to wait for overexcited children to go to bed and actually stay there before they could do stockings, and it was after midnight by the time they actually got into bed themselves, and it’s Christmas so it’s really understandable that Finley and Lolly won’t sleep in, but Dieter was hoping to last past…

“MUMMY!”

Nobody should be able to whisper that loud. He gives up and checks the time. 

Five thirty.

Ugh.

Dieter moved, though, and that makes him target #1 now.

“Deets? Deets!”

“Was willst du?” Dieter’s not doing English before 7am except in emergencies. This is not an emergency.

“Santa’s been!”

Dieter is well aware that Santa has been, because he helped to make sure the stockings were in the right places before he went to bed, five hours ago.

The stockings will still be there in an hour, or an hour and a half. Some more sleep would be an ideal Christmas gift.

The door creaks again, and Dieter lifts his head enough to see Finley standing in the doorway.

He drops his head back onto the pillow in frustration.

“Deets is awake.” Lolly whispers. “Mummy’s still asleep.”

Mummy is not still asleep, the big faker. Dieter pinches Chelsea, but she’s so good at this that she doesn’t even flinch.

There won’t be the same magic for much longer, she’d said last night, most of the way through her second glass of wine. Finley’s going to figure it out soon, or some kid at school is going to spoil it, and I think he’ll pretend for Lolly but it won’t be the same. This might be the last year that they both really believe.

“Deets! Santa’s been!” As if maybe he didn’t hear her the first time.

Dieter takes a second to mourn the days when he used to sleep until ten, and then sits up. “Did he make coffee?”

[raytsquared13]

Indeed, it has been a long time coming @taylorswift I message you this on Tumblr, 9 years ago:

Hi, Tay. This isn't my first time to message you. I hope you'll read this and may not be 'in the ether" just like my previous fanmails. LOL. BTW, I'm a fan of yours since "Love Story Days" 2008 perhaps, I realize that I've been loving and so loyal to you for quite sometime. Thank you so much Taylor for always there inspiring and keep on surprising us, for being such a role model and super talented creature (IDK what adjective I'm goin to use) hehe, Anyway., a massive thanks for such a wonderful gift this Christmas, The 1989 World Tour Live!!! Though I can't watch that and it's impossible to attend in one of your concerts honestly. But, most of the swifties would have been so happier if you'll be releasing 1989 World Tour DVD. Please T_T :'( One of my wishes is to see you in person, though it seems to be just in my wildest dreams. ahhhahahh.

On 2016: So this message might BE IN THE ETHER anew. PLEASE NOTICE ME TAYLOR :( I'm just another wide-eyed boy who's desperately in love with you!

@taylorswift So today February 9, 2016 marks the 2nd year of CLEAN. A gargantuan thanks to you my Queen Superstar Taylor for writing this song and inspiring us all through the years. #Ninteenhundredandeightynine thumbs up for this song! This is my all time favorite so far. The introductory words/prologue/ a.k.a Clean Speeches from your 1989 World Tour really transcends in our heart and deepest soul no matter what we are experiencing at the moment, every single pieces of advice genuinely connects us SWIFTIES all over the universe.

BTW, hope you play it on Grammys! Wish you all the best to grab all your 7 nominations!

Whenever I feel great happiness and pain, I turned into this.

#Swifties will NEVER EVER lose you, Taylor because we found ourselves somehow that is everything <3

on 2017: it's been a year Taylor since I message you so this message might BE again IN THE ETHER anew. PLEASE NOTICE ME TAYLOR :( I'm just another wide-eyed boy who's desperately in love with you!

@taylorswift So today February 9, 2017 marks the 3rd year of CLEAN. A gargantuan thanks to you my Queen Superstar Taylor for writing this song and inspiring us all through the years. #Ninteenhundredandeightynine thumbs up for this song! This is my all time favorite so far. The introductory words/prologue/ a.k.a Clean Speeches from your 1989 World Tour really transcends in our heart and deepest soul no matter what we are experiencing at the moment, every single pieces of advice genuinely connects us SWIFTIES all over the universe.

Whenever I feel great happiness and pain, I turned into this.

#Swifties will NEVER EVER lose you, Taylor because we found ourselves somehow that is everything <3

last 2023: For the 5th time. This is ME! trying to get ticket on the Eras Tour Singapore twice on both KLOOK and TICKETMASTER. and the 5th in LAWSON lottery ticketing for the Eras Tour Japan. When will I see you??? here in the Philippines, mother SWIFT 😭 I have been waiting for 15 years wonderinf if you'll ever coming around? Please COME BACK..BE HERE 🥺

FAST FORWARD TO 2024:

[D-DAY] Finaly, I saw you personally Tay. After 15 years of waiting. I REALLY ENJOYED THE NIGHT when I forget the deadlines of my school work.. hahahah. I hope we'll see each other again 🥹🥹🥹🫶🏻 By the way, EYES OPEN [Acoustic Guitar] DOMO ARIGATO GOZAIMASU for this. This song is one of my favorites back when I was a Tribute of District 13 in Hunger Games 😅🥰 I really appreciate it that you perform this. Such a nostalgic song. You really surprise me 🤩🎸 and the Electric Touch. It's 8:05!!!! MY BDAY! #TokyoTStheErasTour 🇯🇵

[stefankarlfanblog]

Now is the time🎄✨

As I have promised in my annocument post around the beginning of the month, I and a friend of mines that I have known for a year now, have worked together to finally give y'all a gift this 2022 Christmas!

As the video says, me and @theabstractwoman have found three rare slime tutorials with Stefán Karl as the Grinch! One video and two audio recordings all dating from his performance in 2009!

I have been searching for them since 2017 and the great @theabstractwoman has helped me more than enough with finding it and I am grateful for them as it was one of the missing pieces of my overall Stefán Karl collection and I want to archive it for others to find easily as well 🙏✨

Click here to access them!

The link also includes a subtitles file that was made by me and my friend!

And for those curious, the instrumental used is from The Grinch PSX game OST, Sleigh Ride :)