#2003 Daredevil sucks ASS

[chxco-hyujin]

Chat. chat the 2003 Daredevil movie was actually SO BAD. EXCEPT FOR JON FAVREAU BEING IN IT.

but other than that??? what did i WATCH!?!?

[thejohncamp3ablog]

Donna Dickens on the MCU vs DCEU debate

This article will focus on what is to come in the future and why I think DCEU will own it.

Now let’s start with MCU’s popularity, they were the first movie studio to share 2 or more separate movies in the same cinematic universe, specifically in the comic book genre successfully. Why do I say successfully, because we have had cinematic universes before as you might or might not know

-          from Universal in 1931 with Dracula and other monsters;

-          Daredevil (2003) and Elektra (2005) sure look like the first MCU attempt to me, released 2 years apart and both have Kevin Feige as producer and same cast in the titular characters. While I realize that he might have been added for color here, he might have tried this idea a long time ago and ended on his ass with both movies not doing good.

-          All Quentin Tarantino movies are in the same universe apparently

 Now in one way or another their popularity in the times of Phase 1  is part of the fact that some of the founding characters of the MCU have never been in live action films before (well they have but in 1978 Avengers TV movie, which was to say the least not even Batman and Robin level worthy, and Iron Man looked very much like an iron), and the thirst for that was big back in 2008, when the genre was already solidified by Batman Begins and the Dark Knight ruling the worldwide box-office. It was their time to shine, and they did.

I do understand the pure joy of a Marvel comic book fans seeing Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hulk unite together with Hawkeye and Black Widow in the Joss Whedon directed The Avengers in 2012. The idea was fresh, 5 solo movies for 4 characters that lead into an event movie, never before seen in this age. I am happy for those fans of comic books, they were also happy and they deserved it. This can’t be argued and twisted, it was a success.

In the years to come the conversation however turned from “We are happy for Marvel, to DC sucks!”, which is mostly pushed by bloggers and Youtube “stars”, and when I say stars I mean random failed actors, directors and failed writers. Now don’t get me wrong, some of them belong on some sort of geek related show on the tune and are doing a good job, but somehow they have become very confident in their business expertise in the hallways of Hollywood and are throwing scoops and opinions that turn to news headlines and when you repeat one lie a thousand times it eventually becomes truth to the masses that don’t fact check everything they read on the internet everyday related to Entertainment news.

Most of these type of nerdy Youtube shows are related to a website that writes for movies, games, entertainment in general and having in mind how many of them are now circulating, you can see how your daily Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Tumblr news feed is full of the same “news” told in a different perspective or pushed to sounds much different than the actual fact.

Now why do I bother you with this, well because I have been seeing the same pattern in most of them, for the same type of event or release, like let’s say a re-shoot for a movie. We have the following examples:

 SPIDER-MAN HOMECOMING GOES INTO SCHEDULED RE-SHOOTS!

WONDER WOMAN IN TROUBLE, GOES BACK FOR RE-SHOOTS TO ADD HUMOR AND LIGHT!

Or

Rick Famuyiwa leaves the FLASH, movie stuck in development hell!

Edgar Wright leaves Ant-Man probably for the better because Kevin Feige is out lord and savior!

(I added a bit of drama on the last one, so you can get the point faster)

Now probably people that love MCU’s approach will blame this to Batman V Superman and Suicide Squad’s critical reception, but let’s be honest in the age of the millennials, I can’t say Rotten Tomatoes is the place I will check for a movie score and base my opinion on it. I see a lot of modern movies that are pretty much crap with 10 % better scores than classics from the 80s, 90s and early 2000s and movies made for retards with 90 % positive reviews.

(I am looking at you Ghostbusters 2016, YOU large piece of movie vomit that got away because it’s an all-female cast blah blah, the movie sucked end of story)

Now let’s slowly get the point, most of these Youtubers and bloggers discuss movies like its baseball or investments, which for many fans of cult cinema sounds a bit like Game of Franchises and Monopoly, not cinema art. I do agree with the fact that a Studio CEO is interested mostly in profits, but I am sure deep down they also want to leave a legacy of movies behind them. Cult movies, movies that transcend decades and are loved for years to come. So if we play along with the Youtuber’s modern logic and interpretation of movies being sports and mathematics and you are pushing the agenda that the DCEU is losing some sort of a game, let’s see the score board and try to understand why DC is losing, shall we.

First 5 MCU movies have grossed around the 2.3 Billion mark, the same as the first 3 DCEU films.

Coming up from DCEU is Wonder Woman and Justice League, two movies that got some negative headlines from the same old same old fake news outlets a year before they were even released in cinemas. Random example: Sasha Perl Raver with internal knowledge of Wonder Woman and that the movie is a mess, something that doesn’t really fit with the narrative of what people saw at Wonder Con 2017 and other more official outlets. Justice League is attacked just because it’s Zack Snyder, and Cyborg is apparently too CGI for Marvel fans and bloggers, the same who embraced so many Iron Man movies, Abomination (The Incredible Hulk), Hulk himself, Ultron and much more CGI characters. They are attacking something that is clearly 7 months away and in pre-production, which means visual FX are still being worked on.

Now based on these constant attacks, let’s see the worst case scenario - Wonder Woman and Justice League get the DCEU treatment. They get attacked by those who can’t do, (the internet critics) and end up with underwhelming scores on Rotten Tomatoes. In that scenario, if you believe it or not, as any movie with negative scores, opening weekends are affected hugely (see Ghost in the Shell). We had the same issue with the previous two DCEU instalments and they still made good business for DC money wise, especially in the after cinema life where they both performed great on Digital release (Suicide Squad has now added 63 Million from that alone, making it over 800 Million). In that scenario we are looking for a Wonder Woman box office around the 450 Million (worldwide) and 900 Million (worldwide) for Justice League. I say that because Justice league will not do worse than Batman V Superman, with a lighter narrative, a straight up story and brand new characters like Flash ,Aquaman, Cyborg, Mera and Gordon. I just don’t see those same BVS fans not returning for Justice League and doing repeat views. Wonder Woman on the other hand can rely on the same fans and comic book female fans that have been waiting for 70 + years for this movie, so worst case for her is 450 Million. I just don’t see how even bad reviews take her below that box office performance.

Now let’s discuss the better scenario, they get for the first time some realistic critic scores. That will mean that those critics will needs to exit their little Marvel centric lives and see the diversity, how a company is unafraid to put women and minorities front and center of a major franchise. Yes, Marvel have black lead movies we haven’t seen yet, yes they have a female lead movie coming as well and they do have black sidekicks in all of them, but neither Falcon, Black Widow, Scarlet Witch or War Machine have been the center of a movie or a story, have they?

If Wonder Woman and Justice League get good scores, I expect the following numbers in the box office, 750-850 Million for Wonder Woman and a 1.3-1.5 Billion for the Justice League. This will put the DCEU first 5 movies in a whopping 4.35 Billion to 4.65 Billion worldwide gross, which is about 2.3 Billion more than their counterparts from the MCU.

How is that TROUBLE? How is that failing?  In a mathematical driven conversation, a sports driven conversation, which is what Screen Junkies, IGN, Nerdist, Collider Movie Talk, ComicbookCast, Views from the Cave and many other do all day/365.

They say it’s doing bad based on their personal opinion, not facts.

And just to be fair to MCU fans, I will add The Avengers as the MCU’s 6th movie which made 1.518 Billion and add it to their total gross of 3.8 Billion, now add the possible Aquaman take which I will put relatively low just to prove a point and make it an even 600 Million Worldwide (I bet with what I know it will make 750 Million). This will make a round number of 4.9 to 5.1 Billion for the first six DCEU movies. I don’t see losing here, I see hard first steps in making a shared universe, something Marvel can relate to with their underwhelming phase 1 in terms of Box Office success. They had the hearts of the critics, and DC have the hearts of their fans.

Personal opinion for what Marvel are releasing this year and in the future on their big screen, in terms of excitement on my behalf.

Spider-Man Homecoming, which might be a very popular movie for MCU fans, but all I see is the 6th Spider-Man movie, no risks are taken from what I saw in both trailers released, still in high school (in the comics he doesn’t stay a teen 99.9 % of the time), the scene where he encounters the bad guys dressed as Avengers looks like the scene with Andrew Garfield (brilliant actor) talking to the car thief in terms of approach and humor, the main bad guy (Vulture) reminds most audiences not of a brand new villain, but of a bad guy flying on some tech wings for the 4th  time in 6 movies, weird teen moment in the high school cafeteria reminds me of Tobey’s scene from Spider-man (2002), so what is so brilliant and new here?

What has your “lord and savior” Kevin Feige done, that I haven’t seen before? He just inserted gently his best seller Iron Man to shift the focus on him as he does every time (ask Captain America), with Spidey wearing his suit, fighting villains more or less created by Stark(as explained by the trailers and quotes from Keaton) and I bet he has more than 4-5 scenes in there as well. I don’t see new here, I see the same old tired formula.

Avengers Infinity War, we have The Russo brothers coming from a great start with the Winter Soldier, to a generic Civil War (that neither matched the epic comic book story line, neither concluded a great solo trilogy for Captain America, no one died, the consequences were comparable to watching a Disney XD cartoon not a live action movie), and now IW and i need to believe that they will make a 3rd movie better than Winter Soldier?

A villain (Thanos) that has been sitting on a chair for 14 movies, looking like he is enjoying an episode of Friends. Yes, I know, the epic conclusion of the 18 movies they were building to, is here. Well this has been hyped so much, that if they don’t do something super epic (like kill some Avengers that mean something, or deliver a dark and well-rounded villain, or not be funny and put one liners every 3 seconds), they just might sink their own ship on this one. Since The Avengers, their movies featuring the entire case have been bringing in less money each time and I don’t see this as a win for them at all. I don’t know about you MCU fans!?

Captain America and Iron Man are the ones to die and make MCU fans care for their death.

Thor won’t be as impactful for MCU fans, Hawkeye, Widow, Vision, Witch, Falcon are all possible deaths. Hulk is hard to kill, but he isn’t solo movie material for them, so he can go too.

Point is, if they go light, funny, expected and as per the formula - they might blow it big time for not delivering on the huge HYPE built for 18 movies prior. If they kill their cash cows, life can get difficult for them.

Spider-Man might be off the MCU after their deal with SONY ends, and he is supposed to be a huge player in case the original line up is killed off before they re-boot. If SONY see that he is popular and they need him they might use the positive reactions and just use him for their own cinematic universe or want better conditions for the sharing rights. Dr. Strange on the other hand, as much as MCU fan boys are trying to push him as something great, made less than both BVS and SS (and they are considered bad movies critically, and he had a FRESH 90% score on RT) and hasn’t solidified his place as a leader yet.

Black Panther we haven’t seen yet, but he looks to not be as funny as his other colleagues in the MCU, not sure if this is Marvel material. Ant-Man I believe will be better than the first one they did, but will not be able to carry the Avengers franchise as Iron Man and Captain America did. Question is who will be the Chris Evans or the RDJR figure to carry the new Avengers once the old ones are dead or not coming back because of contracts being not re-signed? Would it be Captain Marvel, will they risk letting a woman sell their toys? Will they be embraced as the current ones?

With DCEU we have unexpected things left and right Nightwing, Batgirl, Black Adam, Shazam, Flash, Aquaman, Gotham City Sirens, Suicide Squad 2, Green Lantern Corps, Man of Steel 2, a new Batman, some might be PG 13, other R Rated, we do not know, and that is what is exciting.

I don’t want 5 solo movies followed by a Justice League, make 6-7 solo, villain, group movies before Justice League 2, I don’t care. Be original as you are now, with Marvel I know what I am getting - safe, kid friendly, light, over the top humor, bland visuals, bad music scores.

The future is more suited for DC than Marvel. In my opinion off course, in yours you might want to vote MCU and that is fine with me.

And to the weekly DCEU hate speeches by Jon Schnepp from Collider, no one has seen your movies dude, your IMDB average score is below 4 and you will never make a movie as good as Man of Steel. You can bash Geoff, Zack or Ben, but still they have more talent, knowledge and charisma than you will ever have.

if you don’t like the DCEU don’t include their movies in your HEROES or MOVIE TALK panels. When the cast of Power Rangers came to play their Movie Trivia Schmoedown, everyone on Collider was giving praise to that garbage movie in their reviews afterwards. How professional!

I guess you aren’t supportive of the movie getting 48% on Rotten Tomatoes in this case, are you giant nerd!

[thezachrogers]

The worst 10 movies of 2016

2016 was really the year of stinkers than it was for good movies. Fortunately, I knew to stay away from most of them. If the trailer reveals too much and it’s so star-studded and CGI driven it almost looks stupid (because it is); then check yourself before you wreck yourself; do NOT watch those movies. The movies I called to be stinkers that I did not see and friends told me they did stink are:

Passengers

Assassin’s Creed

Now You See Me 2

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2

Mother’s Day

Zoolander 2

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (total reboot, yet Sigourney Weaver, Dan Akroyd, Bill Murray, and Ernie Hudson all appear in the film as different characters; stupid.)

INDEPENDENCE DAY 2: RESURGENCE: If Will Smith said no to it to do Suicide Squad (TOTAL STINKER) instead, then it had to be bad.

The 5th Wave

The Divergent Series: Allegiant: Before the third installment to this less than mediocre franchise released, Lionsgate announced they were selling the rights to Disney and were going to release the final film (4th and 5th installment) as a TV season with a whole new cast…yea, no thanks.

Warcraft

London Has Fallen

Gods of Egypt

Max Steel

Noticing a trend here folks?

Every movie with the exception of Passengers is not original. Either a sequel to a mediocre movie, or a movie based on videogame or teen novel. Do not waste your time on these films. They are crap, all of them, no matter who is in them.

Yea, I love Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Pratt, Jeff Goldblum, and Mark Ruffalo; but that’s what Marvel movies are for folks!

The following top 10 list is based on what I saw! Again a few of these movies were not terrible, just not the best. #9 and #10 were movies that I could have waited for TV and/or Netflix.

10. X-Men: Apocalypse 3 Stars (7.1/10 on IMDB, 48% on Rotten Tomatoes)

Not a terrible movie, not the worst in the X-Men franchise; just not the best. With the follow up to the BEST X-Men film (Days of Future Past), and the second film in the X-Men Cinematic Universe in 2016 (Deadpool being the first), there were high expectations on this film. It just didn’t meet them.

Apocalypse is not The Last Stand or X-Men Origins: Wolverine; it is not flat out terrible. It just did not meet anyone’s expectations. Oscar Isaac; as good as he is, played a terrible villain, which is so disappointing because he was so good in 2015’s Ex-Machina. Fassbender’s Magneto is still so kick ass as well as Lawrence’s Mystique. Hugh Jackman has hands down the best five minutes in the entire movie. And the post-credits scene was a very exciting set up to March 2017’s Logan. Again: not a bad movie! Just not the greatest. There was WAY too much CGI and WAY too much 1963 Batmanesque cheese lines. Same bat-time, same bat-channel, lots of crap like that. I would wait for this to come out on FX in 2018 to watch. The only reason I would watch is continuity to set up Hugh Jackman’s finale in this beloved franchise; Logan.

9. The Secret Life of Pets 2.75 Stars (6.6/10 on IMDB, 74% on Rotten Tomatoes)

Great airplane movie or TV movie. Not missing much if you don’t watch on rental or in theaters. I love animated films, and some great ones came out in 2016, but this movie just tried too hard in all the wrong places. Kevin Hart’s bunny was over the top as expected, no problem there, but Jenny Slate again in an animated film with animals who can talk? Really Illumination? You want to be Zootopia that bad? And you want to try AGAIN with Sing? It’s pretty pathetic. You’re going to get Albert Brooks to voice a character too (Marlon in Finding Nemo/Dory) The placement advertisement for NBC/Universal shows and movies like Fallon, Saturday Night Live, Seinfeld, The Voice and a blatant movie poster on a public transportation bus for Sing was so shriekingly stupid, I wanted to hold my middle finger up to screen. The good sides of this movie was that the dog characters were cute and the animation was good. That’s it. Illumination should wait a little longer before branching out of Despicable Me and Minions. I wouldn’t have seen this movie in theaters or on iTunes. Wait for Redbox and if you can on TV in 2018 folks.

8. Me Before You 2 Stars (7.5/10 on IMDB, 58% on Rotten Tomatoes)

I love Emilia Clarke, but she cannot choose a good film script to save her life. This movie makes me have very low expectations for the standalone Han Solo film due out in 2018. What a piece of crap this move is. What a piece of crap this story is. SPOILER ALERT: she fails at motivating the guy to live and love again. He commits suicide and gives her money in his will. What kind of a story is that? Why the hell would anyone want to read or watch this trash?

The acting felt like a chick-flick/rom-com with these two young up and coming actors, but the story just did not help. A matured and handsome Neville Longbottom was about the only upside of this movie. Lord Tywin Lannister himself (Charles Dance) couldn’t even deliver. This movie was trash. Wife hated the ending. I quote her saying “The end makes me want that two hours back.” There you go folks. If you like depressing romantic movies with lifetime movie/porno acting and no happy ending, this is your film! If not, don’t bother.

7. The Huntsman: Winter’s War 2 Stars (6.1/10 Stars on IMDB, 17% on Rotten Tomatoes)

I originally thought Snow White and the Huntsman would not have been garbage if it wasn’t for Kristen Stewart’s fugly frozen face with no emotion. I was wrong. The Huntsman was an even bigger turd. This movie was set up as a prequel/sequel to its predecessor. Yea, I know it doesn’t make sense, it didn’t work on screen either. I had to Wikipedia what exactly happened with the story after I finished the movie. This was another movie with too many A-listers and CGI to be any good. This movie was Warner Brothers throwing more money in the garbage to compete with Disney’s live action remakes. Warner Brothers takes another loss with their comic book universe (OH WE WILL BE GOING THERE TOO). Do not waste your time with this movie. Doesn’t go down as one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen because Jessica Chastain and Emily Blunt are just too good for that; but I prefer you just to watch Zero Dark Thirty and Sicario a second time than to waste your time with this turd.

6. Alice Through the Looking Glass 1.5 Stars (6.3/10 on IMDB, 30% on Rotten Tomatoes)

With Disney doing 16 films in 2016, surely not all of them were destined for greatness. Alice was the rotten one of the bunch. Another sequel/reboot to a mediocre film, Alice Through the Looking Glass was crappy CGI thrown up all over the silver screen with good costumes! I got it; it’s Attack of the Clones II! Horrible, horrible, horrible. 2016 may be the worst year of Johnny Depp’s life. With his mother’s death, his divorce, and his ex-wife’s domestic-abuse accusations, I don’t see how promoting this crap film made 2016 any better. I’m praying for big things for Johnny in 2017 (Seriously); I pray his career is resurrected with the fifth Pirates film, he enjoys touring with Alice Cooper and his super-group, and he has some a new year’s resolution to drop off some beer weight like myself. One of the worst of 2016, this film is not one you want to waste your time or money on.

5. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 1 Star (6.7/10 on IMDB, 27% on Rotten Tomatoes)

What a piece of crap. This movie was worse than Daredevil (2003), worse than Batman & Robin, worse than Punisher: War Zone, worse than Fantastic 4 (2015), worse than Ghost Rider. Yes, I need to say more. Screw Zack Snyder (director). Honestly, what a douchebag for making me hate a movie that comes out in modern day with all the brilliant actors and incredible technology and source content we have. Batman is my all time favorite character. I’ve been watching him as far as I can remember; since I could not walk. And Zack Snyder ruined every piece of what could have been good with this movie. To all of your Burton/Keaton fans, Campy Adam West fans, and Batman TAS fans; I’ve had enough of your garbage; Christian Bale’s performance and Christopher Nolan’s trilogy is the best on screen Batman ever. When we have something like that…why would you try to reboot it only 4 years later? And especially to not give Batman his own movie first…you put him in a Man of Steel sequel; it’s really offensive. All Batman fans should be offended by this turd of a movie. Superman has yet to have a fantastic live action movie. So why group Batman with that mess? It pisses me off. Henry Cavill’s Clark Kent reminds me of Hayden Christensen’s Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars Episodes II and III; such a whiny little wuss. Bro, YOU ARE FREAKING SUPERMAN; stop whining about why nobody likes you. Bro (Hayden Christensen), YOU ARE FREAKING DARTH VADER; stop whining about sand!

Ben Affleck does make a good Bruce Wayne; but his Batman costume is just the worst. Drawn on abs. Really? Bring back the nipples too please. As you can tell, I’m not going to see Justice League Part 1 due out in November or the Batfleck standalone. I’m done with DC. I’m done with WB for firing Nolan. My allegiance is with Disney-Marvel’s MCU, they haven’t disappointed me yet. If you want beautiful comic driven visuals, this movie has it. But, no one wants JUST THAT for 3 hours. Go smoke a bowl and read your comics instead, it’ll probably have the same effect.

4. Suicide Squad 1 Star (6.4/10 on IMDB, 26% on Rotten Tomatoes)

Gosh I hate the DCEU. I love the source content so much for me to rank this as #1 worst of 2016, but if it wasn’t for that, I would say this may be the worst movie I have ever seen. It’s hands down, the most disappointing movie I have ever seen. I knew Batman v Superman would suck, but I thought this movie would revive the DCEU, I was wrong. Warner Bros. marketed this entire film around Jared Leto’s Joker. And Jared Leto promoted the film centered on his character. WB made Leto’s character a measly cameo. Yes folks, in this 2 hour and 17 minute movie, Joker has 7 minutes of screen time. And it was 7 minutes too long. His character had nothing to do with the actual Suicide Squad other than Harley’s origin. Will Smith’s Deadshot was the real protagonist of the movie. It centered around him. So we get another Will Smith stinker. Yea guys, let’s be honest, Will Smith sucks now. He raised his son to be the biggest abomination to ever come out of Hollywood, and he has not done a good film in a decade (I Am Legend). His character was another (aw hell naw) felt misplaced, and Smith’s attempt to be gangsta, when he just isn’t. Your Hitch bro, just stop.

Margot Robbie is too hot to not watch this movie. Of course we all saw it, and we cannot admit that it sucks because of her. She is one of my favorite up and coming young actresses and she absolutely kills this role. She did such a good job it’s hard for me to rank this movie as the worst of 2016. The problems with this movie; where do I start? The marketing, the amount of plot holes, the villain, a character they literally created to kill off, the reason Joker was even in the movie, the ZERO respect they had for truly representing the source content for Harley and Joker’s relationship. Harley is supposed to a commodity/accessory to Joker’s madness and that’s it. But they made Harley Joker’s girlfriend and it just didn’t work. It also does not help that Jared Leto had to follow up to Heath Ledger. Ledger’s performance is arguably the greatest villain of all time. Leto was tatted gangster that wore make up and chains; that’s it. Not crazy nor sadistic, nor chaotic or psychotic; just a gangster. His character was a complete and utter joke. If you love the source material too much to not watch this film, I understand, if you just want to see Margot Robbie in short shorts and high heels and kick ass, I understand; but if you want to be entertained, do not watch this movie.

3. Sausage Party 1 Star. (6.4/10 on IMDB, 84% on Rotten Tomatoes)

For the record, I did not watch this film by choice, my wife rented it, and I watched it after I finished Hell or High Water. My ignorance got the best of me in that I knew nothing about it. And, I mean come on, Rotten Tomatoes gave it an 84%, how could it be bad?

Oh my gosh. Where do I start? The amount of childish sexual innuendos makes this movie look Donald Trump look like the Pope. This movie is full of “locker room talk.” This movie is point-blank offensive, immature, and stupid. And it was written by Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill; go figure. The animation is nothing great, the humor is cheap, not anything creative or new. Rogen’s attempts at making me laugh is quickly dying. Cussing, pot, and sexual humor gets old quickly. You cannot make the same movie over and over and put it in a different box and wrap with a nice shiny bow filled with a-listers. Seth Rogen must be stopped. This Is the End was the last movie he’s done that has made me laugh. The nostalgia of Pineapple Express, Freaks and Geeks, and Knocked Up is the only reason that movie caught my attention. This movie, I had no desire to see. Wife grabbed it at Redbox without my knowledge and I walked in on her watching it. I’d honestly rather walk in on her watching porn, at least we can have a good conversation from it. This movie was just a big “why?” She didn’t have an answer, and neither would I if I were in her shoes.

It is an R-rated animated movie with A-listers which is ironic, since we 99% see the opposite when it comes to the source content (G and Disney for dummies). Don’t see this movie, you’ll thank me for it.

2.  Quentin Tarantino’s 8th film .5 Star (really his 11th, I know the guy can’t count) The Hateful Eight (7.9/10 on IMDB, 75% on Rotten Tomatoes)

Tarantino said he would make 10 films and be done. He said this is the eighth BECAUSE: Kill Bills Vol 1 and Vol 2 is counted as 1, he’s not counting Death Proof as it fell under the “Grindhouse” 2 film presentation with Robert Rodriguez, and he is not counting his very first film starring himself. So, I’m hoping he doesn’t do any more stupid little projects and speed up to 10 so we can rid him from Hollywood.

Tarantino is over the top, he exaggerates reality making his own one, apparently all of his films are in the same “universe.” I don’t think Tarantino has given me any smiles since Inglorious Basterds. Another movie with Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Madsen, Tim Roth, and Walter Goggins, this movie with over the top bloody scenes did nothing for me. At least Django and Kill Bill were action packed, at least Inglorious Basterds had an incredible cast and was hilarious. I love that he used an Italian composer to try as hard as he could to make it feel like a spaghetti western; but it didn’t.

The whole movie takes place in a room, that’s right…in a room folks. Lots of blood, lots of not-so-mysterious mystery and lots of famous faces. This movie was like Tarantino was parodying his own genre of movies. It was so freaking dumb that it just pissed me off. Came out on New Year’s Day 2016, it kicked off what would be a pretty hateful year for many. Do not waste three hours of your time with this movie. You will want it back.

1.       The Lobster .25 Star (7.1/10 on IMDB, 90% on Rotten Tomatoes)

Sometimes you cannot trust Rotten Tomatoes. Nine out of Ten times they are right, this was the one time they were wrong. Top three worst movies I have ever seen in my life. This movie is a witty Cohen Brothers-esque adult version of The Hunger Games that was just plain weird. No, it was not funny, no it was not creative. It’s stupid. But guess what fam; STUPID GETS GOLDEN GLOBE AND OSCAR NOMINATIONS these days! Be honest with yourselves; if you saw it, HBO’s The Normal Heart was not good or well-acted. But in today’s day and age if you make a movie about gay people, you’re getting an Oscar nod. So, I guess now if you make a movie about something that’s just weird and stupid, you’ll get one too.

Here’s the synopsis: In a near-future’d dystopian world, to prevent over-populating, if you do not find a husband or wife at a certain age, you check into a hotel where you are forced to meet one in two months, if you don’t your body well be shredded an recycled for research and you will be turned into an animal (but not really, they will kill you, they just tell you that so you agree to the “transformation,” ie execution).

Yes, it is as stupid as it sounds. I never even finished the movie, I wikied the rest when there was about 25 minutes left, it wasn’t worth the rest of my valuable time.

I write this blog not to vent on how bad movies are, but I know YOUR time is valuable and it should be treated that way, not with garbage movies. Please take my word. I hope this blog was helpful. Please follow, like, share, comment! Bigger and better films to come in 2017! I will be your source! I have about 10 more films of 2016’s I will review before I crossover into 2017; stay tuned for those blogs!

Thanks guys!

Z