#2.30am incoherent game updates are my brand at this point

[kimmkitsuragi]

ALRIGHT as always i have many thots about this vampire bitch so

WOW. i loved this part so so so much. let's start with the combat because i enjoyed it SO MUCH. the set-up of the fight was very well done imo, it's hard but in a very satisfying way instead of frustrating. i really felt relieved after astarion was free again, both in emotional ways and in "WHITE BOY SAVE ME" kinda way 💀 because this man broke free from his mental chains, and carried the ending of the combat like it is just another day lmfao. opened my eyes once again about just how much i rely on astarion's massive crit damage built in every combat 💀 ANYWAY. it was soooo fun to strategize for this fight, i ended up getting a lot of summons for the ritual rune thingys lol and WYLL. MY DUDE WYLL... he was also great this fight he sunbeamed the fuck out of cazador + with his blood of lathander like ❤ karlach was great for beating the shit out of cazador after wyll got him sunbeamed repeatedly lmao AND i dont remember which item/feat it is exactly but she gives damage to everyone around her when she takes damage so lol. it's really incredible for the small annoying enemies

OKAY i gotta also talk about the scenes before combat too....... alright so first of all i LOVED trying different lines in my various attempts lmao. normally this is not what i would choose, but seeing his reaction to the "you owe it to them" line was.......... another one that i normally wouldnt choose was shaming him for catching children for cazador, which was also interesting to see. i dont remember if it was that line gets this result, but i loved how he goes "i didn't have a choice then... but i do now" YES BABY ❤

and the cazador cutscene before the combat..... seriously fuck this guy fuckkkkkkk him. how he doesnt even Think for one second that astarion can be stronger than him. how he doesnt even address you when you talk ("it's between me and the boy"). i tried a few options/combinations in my various attempts, but i never tried the "you were scared of this guy astarion??" one 💀 honestly i was curious where that would lead, but what a thing to say... the same with "don't lose your head" or something like that like. excuse you, this is the perfect occasion for him to lose his cool like. where else if not here. so yeah FUCK you and FUCK everything you've ever done to me!!!!! ALSO!! i gotta say i feel like they nailed cazador's smile. that shit was CREEPY. that cutscene was very well done imo, great buildup for a great combat.

this is so messy but let's jump to the end of combat here snsnndndjdjf anyway that cutscene was WOWWWW i enjoyed it so much. as i said, in my first attempt i fucked it up 💀 astarion left!!!!! but it was a fun alternative to see (fun as in sad). how defeated he sounded at the end, the difference in his conversation with his siblings... and how angry and selfish he can be after you refuse to help him!! if he doesnt get a chance no one else can!! but OBVIOUSLY that's not the ending i went with lmaoooo

so let's look at my 2nd attempt. it was. UGH. it was so exciting. i LOVEDDDDD how you get advantage on the insight roll, it's very much giving the "kim truly trusts you" bonus energy honestly!!! i mean when i think about this whole situation outside the game, like how i would justify the right choice to someone i cared about, that dialogue option was what i came up in my head. or very close to it, at least. i don't have a screenshot of that unfortunately, and i dont remember the exact wording rn but it always felt like ascending would not grant *true* freedom to him. even beyond the narrative of the story, and the cycle of abuse and trauma it represents, it's like carrying a part of cazador forever with you, you know? it's, to some degree, accepting that you're his creation and you carry the power he designed. idk. it's 2am i can't say it better rn. SO!!! so seeing that choice was so satisfying for me, exactly what i would want to say. and the "I'm not above enjoying this" scene <33333 SO fucking true TEAR THAT BASTARD APART!!!!!!! the catharsis ❤❤❤ you deserved that so so so much. and the difference in tone with this one vs the first one i mentioned during the sibling interaction part oughhh....... in the end i decided to release the spawn BUT damn it really was a hard moral dilemma imo. but it felt wrong to just kill them all, when they just gained their freedom. idk man. this quest was just full of hard choices for everyone involved and i loved that

it was also a very good moment how he didnt know if he made the right choice or not, because he was so overwhelmed and just. sick and tired of this place and cazador. and he wants to live!!! finally he can live!!!! he can finally see an out!!!

ALRIGHT and now the romance scene!!!!!!! i loved it. of course i mean. you TELL ME that there's a sex scene on top of his grave, how am i supposed be normal about this*. i put a little flower on his grave 🥺 it was a great romance scene. i LOVED how it mirrors the act 1 romance scenes too!!! like the little confession about not caring in the first meeting, saying "i love you" and meaning it this time........ and then ending the conversation the next day with "it was a gift, you know. i wont forget it" LIKE...... look how far we came darling. and how he's trying to make sense of everything in his head, because it was all just too much is so real. and!!! and the emphasis on being partners and equals!!!!! soooo true

and now he calls me with new pet names ^_^ my sweet, and love are the ones i remember. and he says that Lou is the "first person he truly cared about- ahem" which the voice acting really made me go awwwwwwww. also, i chose the "i will protect you from everything" etc line just to see the reaction (and reloaded lmao) because i was like 🤨 doesnt this sound umm a little too possessive and possibly belittling lmao. he seemed uncomfortable but appreciated the feeling - which is fair ig but that line felt Too Much to me lol. oh and also! he does have different reactions to breaking up now as i guessed! of course i wanted to explore that too. these ones were......... way more sad and heartbreaking honestly lmao

ANYWAY. now it's 2.30am and i will sleep and uhhhh. hopefully i wont suffer too much tomorrow because of my irresponsibility today 💔💔💔 really just.... it was worth it and i Wanted a break from that but also uh..... i kinda fucked this week so bad but anyway not the time for that rant

(*FUN FACT: i actually saw a gifset of this scene waaaaay back like in august before i even got this game and i wasnt even planning to play it so soon. and i was literally like 😲😲😲 WHAT..... IS IT THIS KIND OF GAME..... because msnsjdjdjfjff i literally didnt know you got scenes like this lmao. and i had already seen the first few hours of the gameplay and Of Fucking Course i was already like hmmmmm.... that vampire bastard sure looks like someone i would go crazy about...... and THEN i saw that gifset and i was like okay that's it. i just know. i. just. knowwwwww that when i play this game, i have got to fuck this man- i even posted about this at that time like 💀 i have GOT TO do it. and oh my oh my how could i knowwww that he's the most special little princess and his romance is actually not that explicit or freaky at all. how could i KNOW that he has sexual trauma with the way half of this fandom was portraying him like some sex god lmaoooo like i really didnt know and honestly??? honestly???????? if i knew all this i would be even more abnormal even from the start so it's good that i learned as i went. truly. a character made specifically for me??? you shouldnt have larian <3)

ps. have a dead cazador <3

I'll long rest and then see if i can manage to write my thoughts and reactions before i long rest irl, because i should be in total focus tomorrow (after today's irresponsibility 💔)