#2) the things that are wrong are significantly deeper issues than what can be briefly mentioned in insta dms and

[i-suggest-weed]

i want people to find out about me feeling like shit the way u would about a character. deep understanding and intimate knowledge of the issue and my feelings but. no way to talk to me about it. i’d be everyone’s favourite sopping wet guy.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

I honestly would love to see Black Cat and MJ just hang out more. Because of the love triangle I’ve always heard about how much they ‘must’ hate each other, but honestly I could picture Pete waking up one day, finding MJ and Felicia in the living room having coffee and asking what she’s doing here and MJ just says, “Dude we meet up like twice a week to hang. We’re going bowling tonight.” or something.

They’re relationship is actually more complicated than simply being catty rivals or some such. 

The harsh truth is, for better or worse, writers pitted the pair against one another lightly in the 1980s, famously the first instance of this was in the iconic ASM #258, the issue both immediately after MJ reveals she knows who Peter is and where Peter learns the truth about the black costume.

Initially the animosity was more on Felicia’s end than MJ’s, whether she meant it or not, she briefly felt Peter was better suited to Black Cat.

MJ became Peter’s confidant not too long before he and Felicia broke up and when she was later reintroduced into the titles MJ became more clearly down on her. This is epitomized in Spec #119 (a great Felicia story).

That issue also  ends though with MJ admitting she has complicated conflicting feelings towards Felicia, the complications of which are wrapped up in her complicated feelings for Peter. In the story Felicia single handily takes down Sabertooth.* In a sense she defended civilians and Peter in doing so and thus MJ is caught between admiration and jealousy.

Their romantic rivalry becomes more out and out mean in Spec #123 and ASM #288 which follows up on that subplot. In the issues MJ resolves to set her and Peter’s ‘will they won’t they’ thing straight only find Felicia in Peter’s apartment (he saved her earlier that day and she needed somewhere to regroup). At the end of that adventure though Felicia basically forcibly stayed in Peter’s apartment so MJ was none too pleased to find her there when she showed up to make Peter breakfast in bed.**

The pair remained in disdain of one another after this but also didn’t interact face to face again until after Pete and MJ got married and more specifically after Peter lost his cosmic powers defeating Tri-Sentinel. Felicia had learned Peter had gotten married and as revenge began dating Flash with the intention of breaking his heart to hurt Peter by proxy. She also delighted in makig him and MJ uncomfortable though.

When MJ and Felicia interacted one-on-one Felicia was shockingly straight up assaulting MJ!

At this point MJ obviously didn’t like Felicia but she was not giving as good as she got. Things began to shift not too long after in a storyline that saw Peter give up his powers and Felicia begin to develop genuine feelings for Flash. During this storyline Felicia stepped up and began acting as the muscle for the powerless Peter. MJ still didn’t like Peter was starting to reluctantly recognize her as more of an ally than an enemy. In particular the story ended with Felicia powerless and deciding to temporarily retire and date Flash sincerely.

Whilst they weren’t exactly friends it did get to a point where MJ was okay with going on double dates with Flash and Felicia, considering the latter was no longer out to get her/hurt Flash/steal Peter away.

However a significant turning point occurred in Web of Spider-Man #80. The story short is that Peter/Spidey is missing after he and Mj got attacked. MJ turns to Felicia for help, citing the fact she still cares for Peter and that’s common ground for them to work with for the moment. She gives her a tracking device Peter made to zero in on him. She even admits she’s out of her league on this front and it’s up to Felicia. Felicia of course helps save Spidey and whilst initially claims her locating him was due to their ‘connection’ (meaning their romantic history) she admits MJhelped witht he tracking device. The issue ends though with Felicia admitting that MJ’s device actually didn’t work, meaning Felicia simply let the Parker couple think it did out of kindness to MJ. This didn’t turn the pair into friends, but it showed they were clearly mellowing towards one another.

This didn’t make them chummy as catty remarks still occurred during later interactions (noticably from MJ). I’m skipping over stuff to get to some highlights, the next of which is a big one. 

In Felicia’s first ever solo mini-seires MJ not only appears int he first issue but they are actually hanging out...together...as friends!

Or at least as frenemies. It’s clear there is still some underlying jealousy or jousting to be had, but they’re very open about it and Felicia is actively confiding in MJ, even talking about how she feels regarding Peter. And not just Peter in general, his then current state of being. This was back when Peter was unravelling due to the aftermath of the Robot Parents crap and becoming more anti-social and obsessive about his Spider-Man life, spending less time out of the costume. It got Felicia and MJ concerned. A very significant line of dialogue in this scene is MJ saying she’ll call Felicia later. It implies that they have hung out together before or are at least okay with doing do again in the near future. 

Also this was at Felicia’s home, so for MJ to have voluntarily gone to the home of the woman who once assaulted her says a lot about how things have changed.

Again skipping over some stuff but the next big moment for MJ and Felicia came in Web of Spider-Man #125 where MJ once again calls upon Felicia’s aid to find Peter (though he’s not in trouble, she just needs him present). The circumstances are decidedly different from Web #80. There is no jousting going on. Partially this is due to their relationship having grown deeper but it’s also due to MJ being pregnant and amidst the chaos of the time (Peter was on trial for murder, Aunt May had just died and MJ had been recently abducted by Kaine) she was clearly feeling very vulnerable. 

Vulnerable enough in fact that Felicia can clearly tell MJ is upset and outright hugs her, offering some support and comfort. 

This time Felicia isn’t seeking out Peter less because she cares for him and more because she wants to help MJ and the baby. If ever there was a moment clearly demarking the pair had fully transitioned into real friendship, this was it. 

Whilst MJ and Felicia don’t directly interact in Web #128 Peter makes a reference to MJ and Felicia talking on the phone for hours.

Skipping waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead now. The tl:dr is that Felicia clearly began to develop some feelings for Peter again during Howard Mackie’s run. This became more significantly a factor in the Evil that Men Do Limited Series where Felicia is putting the movies on Peter and also refers to MJ derogatorily. 

Something to note about Evil that Men do is that it gets a lot of details wrong and it’s continuity is wonky. the first half came out when Peter and MJ were seperated, but the second half came out years later and used then contemporary continuity from when Peter and MJ would’ve been back together. The important thing to note is Felicia went back to having the hots for Spider-Man and also being down on MJ

To my recollection the next time I recall MJ and Felicia having a significant interaction was in Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #5. In the issue Felicia has rescued Peter from the Vulture and is helping him investigate Aunt may’s recent kidnapping. Peter was badly beat up so Felicia and Mj were nursing him back to health. The scene where Peter wakes up clearly conveys that there is some tension and competitivness going on between MJ and Felicia even though they are talking in a friendly manner to one another. When Felicia leaves MJ looked really bummed out, which might’e been due to some insecurities regarding Felicia or because of their financial troubles at the time (she was keeping them from Peter).

Later on in Marvel Knights #10, when Peter has resolved to break Norman Osborn out of jail in order to save Aunt May, Felicia going along with him for this, MJ blows up at Felicia and basically tells her to back off from Peter.

In defence of MJ here, Norman Osborn has pushed them to the edge big time so I think she’s having a major wobble regarding Black Cat.

Anyway, she’s not wrong about Felicia as the remaining issues of the arc make it clear that Felicia is absolutely in love with Peter again if Evil that Men Do didn’t make that clear enough.

Next up in Spider-Man: Breakout #2, MJ is similarly pissed off about Peter contacting Felicia for help tracking down the U-Foes.

Frankly...I find this instance rather out of character but I thought I might as well mention it.

Then we have Spider-Man Unlimited volume 3 #14. In this issue, as payback for helping him bust out Norman Osborn, Felicia demands Spider-Man help her steal something from Doctor Doom. Peter isn’t happy about this until it turns out that the item in question was a spider tracer with his finger prints on it, meaning Felicia was trying to once again protect Peter. MJ wasn’t happy to find out Peter was hanging out with Felicia but acknwoeldged she helped protect them.

The next notable interaction was during Civil War when Peter was unmasked, the Parkers were fugitives and Peter was half dead from a beating via the Rhino. Felicia upon learning of this sought out the Parkers and volunteered to even the score with Rhino. When all is said and done, MJ asks Felicia if she wants to give Peter a message from her.

We then transition into shitty post-OMD continuity and frankly I’m not touching 90% of that sans one notable story (Web of Spider-Man volume 2 #11-12) in which Felicia, who has totally forgotten who MJ and Peter Parker are, nevertheless befriends MJ after an adventure to save Peter.

I bring up this story simply because your original question was regarding MJ and Felicia friendship.

This story’s canonicity can be debated for a few reasons, it doesn’t make sense in general because the mindwipe was asinine shit and it has 0 follow up. In fact it doesn’t even really jive with later appearances of MJ or Felicia. It is amusing though that it completes a sort of trilogy wherein MJ and Felicia become more friendly in Web of Spider-Man.

Anyway, that brings you pretty much up to date.

Essentially there are two distinct eras for MJ and Felicia’s relationship. The 1980s-1990s where they have a clear arc transitioning from acquaintances who’re not that fond of one another to rivals to frenemies to outright friends. 

Then you have the 2000s and beyond which pits the two against one another again but in a very different dynamic to before as MJ is Peter’s wife and recognizes Felicia’s as an ally.

It’s not impossible to reconcile the two narratively but I’m not going to do that here. 

I think the second era might’ve been done in order to inject more tension into the Spider Marriage and in fairness, it did work. It was dramatic.

But I personally prefer the second era much more as it portrays a clear character arc. As a bonus I should mention that, since it diverged from Spider-Man continuity in the late 1990s, in Spider-Girl MJ and Felicia’s relationship continued to develop in a friendly manner to the point where Felicia would pay Mj a visit in her office and the pair would chat about their daughters and their mutual problems. In MJ’s case a difficult pregnancy and in Felicia’s her rebellious daughter who wasn’t fond of her same sex partner.

To bring this right around to your OP, the scenes of friendship have more or less happened in canon and in stories that are pseudo canon. 

*Bear in mind this was the same decade where Sabertooth participated in the infamous Mutant Massacre storyline where he and his peers mass slaughtered a bunch of defenceless mutants. Readers knew he was no pushover.  

**Because you see according to Joe Quesada, Steve Wacker, Dan Slott et al Mary Jane was clearly not dating Peter at this time and I think we’ve all brought groceries to our ex’s apartment (that we own a key to) in order to make them breakfast in bed. It’s the single most platonic gesture possible.

[lifecoach45bama-blog]

The Money Mind

This post is based on what our culture has taught many of us about money and its’ use. It also reviews how the ego contributes to personal debt. Whether the debt is maintainable or not, the ego causes us to dig deeper financial holes than we should. In addition, this blog will briefly describe the purpose of money and its use. However, this information will come from two different mindsets. We will get into that shortly.

I’d like to begin with a few rhetorical questions:

Do you really need that huge house you will never finish the mortgage on?

Do you really need that fancy, fast car?

Do you really need those expensive clothes and shoes?

What about the purse that cost you about 5 months’ worth of gas?

Many people will say, “I bought it because I wanted it! I will spend my money any way I choose!”

That’s not an issue at all!  No judgment here! However, there is always a point in a person’s life when they say at least one of the following, “I’m not getting paid enough!”, “I’m tired of working!”, “I can’t take care of myself because I’m always at work” “I can’t quit because I need my job!” and the famous, “I can’t stand my boss!”

Ok, what’s my point?! My point is, the “almighty dollar” seems to be worshipped, praised and loved. It’s also viewed as a necessity for those living from paycheck to paycheck. What about those who find nothing wrong with piling on more “controllable” debt for themselves whenever they get a raise or a promotion? Let’s not forget the spenders who insist on following the trend. If people knew money’s true strength and power, hardly anyone would throw it away on meaningless superficial materials that don’t pay you back. That’s just my opinion.

Many people cannot hang onto, or manage money productively, because of the ego. They are heavily concerned with impressing other people or to strengthen their self-esteem. Every high dollar item has an emotional tie to it.

Here’s an example:

A fancy and fast car is often tied to, “Hey, look at me!”, “Looks good doesn’t it?!”, “I’m going to get so much attention!”  Not true? Ok then, explain why you didn’t simply buy the used Kia, which will still get you from point A to point B, and is significantly cheaper? 

The sense of pride, accomplishment, and conceitedness are due to the ego (sense of self-esteem or self-importance).  

Culture has a lot to do with the mindset of what money is and its use. As a child, the only thing I was taught about money was, “save it, spend it wisely, and put it in a bank.” Although those weren’t bad tips, it wasn’t nearly enough to prepare me on how to live a stress-free life.

Many can’t get beyond the thought of working at a 9-5 job for various reasons.  I was taught that working grueling hours that are full of dealing with someone else’s crap and frustrations was the “way of life!” Next, become a responsible adult so that you can have nice things. I call this becoming financially stuck because of so much senseless debt. For example:

Mortgage

Car payments

Other financed items

School loans

Personal loans

Credit cards

I can recall an old acquaintance making the following statements to me, “What are you saving money for? It’s not like you can take it with you once you die! You earn it so that you can spend it!”   This was her cultural mindset about money.

This seems to be the world we live in. Many people continuously spend money on the things that are pretty. However, these pretty things will never pay you a penny back in return.

Ever notice when some people receive a pay raise or a job promotion? Instead of living the same lifestyle and set productive goals, they decide to upgrade (buying bigger and more expensive things). Spending makes many people feel good about themselves, life, current situation, etc. Ever notice, how the euphoria over that brand new, beautiful, shiny, and elegant object will eventually become old news? It’s mostly forgotten about and left to collect dust…while earning you nothing in return.

When it comes to searching for a place to live, many people would rather rent because they feel that a mortgage would be more expensive than rent. Let me note, as a real estate investor, this is FAR from the truth. I used to think the same exact thing. But, by expanding my knowledge in the field, I quickly understood why renting was a total waste of money. For example, there are tons of decent homes on the market that can be purchased, while paying a mortgage that is significantly less than rent!

Many cultures have taught us to get a good education, get a really nice career with benefits, buy a nice home, build a family, reward yourself by purchasing nice things, continue to work hard until the age of 65 and collect a pension, 401k, and or collect social security. That’s how the old sayings go, right? There’s nothing wrong with this if it’s what a person chooses to do. However, what about those common statements mentioned earlier “I’m not getting paid enough!”, “I’m tired of working!”, “I can’t take care of myself because I’m always at work”, “I can’t quit because I need my job!” and the famous, “I can’t stand my boss!?

 I am willing to take a leap of faith by saying, most people would quit their jobs in an instant if they could still get paid!

We blow huge amounts of money on taking care of people who fail to make an attempt at taking care of themselves. We blow hundreds of dollars in bars and clubs impressing people. Many feel that money is a material with a value that is used to live and be entertained. Again, there is nothing wrong with this concept. However, if you are one of the people who’s making the following statements “I’m not getting paid enough!”, “I’m tired of working!”, “I can’t take care of myself because I’m always at work!”, “I can’t quit because I need my job!” and the famous, “I can’t stand my boss!” then you may want to consider doing something different.

I’ve learned from experience that this mindset has gotten me nowhere. Overall, I’ve made some good decisions that have led to some great opportunities. Although I have nothing to complain about career-wise, I often made those common statements too, “I’m not getting paid enough!”, “I’m tired of working!”  …………I think you get the point. Needless to say, I’m happy that I finally decided to take a leap and make a change.

Currently, as an investor, I own several rental properties. In addition, I am the owner of “Widen Your Perspective” Life Coaching.  I mention these accomplishments not to boast, but to make it clear that I now understand TWO different perspectives on money and its purpose.

I feel it’s safe to assume that everyone will agree that money is meant to be spent. But, what separates perspective #1 and #2? HOW and WHERE the money is spent. Let’s label the consumers that are comfortable with liability, debt, and working hard to sustain and fulfill those financial obligations as Perspective #1. On the other hand, Perspective #2 will refer to the thinkers, inventors, creators, and innovators of opportunity.  

Establishing your own business can start off extremely slow but grow to be successful. For example, someone could purchase a website to blog, or sell things, like materials to make jewelry, yard equipment to service people’s yards, tools to become a contractor, pencils or paint to become a freelance artist. If you have a ton of life experience, you could earn certifications and become a coach, a counselor, an adviser, etc.

 From my current perspective, money is a tool; a  process of money making more money!

Think of all the money you’ve spent on expensive objects, high interest, rent, clothes, or possibly on people who haven't given you anything back in return. With that amount of money, you could have initiated at least 3-5 small businesses, maybe more depending on your interests. Food for thought; had they all failed, you could still be financially afloat because not all small businesses are expensive to start and operate! Those failures would have taught you valuable lessons that would have provided a better chance of succeeding in the next endeavor.

I call perspective # 2 “The Money Mind.” It is a thought process that will enable a person to think of money, opportunities, health, and life in a unique way. Again, having lived both perspectives allows me to understand why many people feel as though they can’t get ahead in life. Often having to deal with an unwanted situation because they are “financially stuck”.

What are you passionate about?

Are you good with your hands?

Are you a thinker, a creator?

Do you enjoy solving other people’s issues?

Identify anything that you are naturally good at. Then get online and search for “Jobs that require using your__________” (Fill in the blank with one or all of the questions above). You will see that you are more than qualified to start your own business, earn your own money and live your life the way it’s supposed to be…stress free! Next, research what you need, then calculate how much it will cost to get it started.

Your knowledge and expertise will ALWAYS serve a need and there will be someone who’s willing to pay for it. It's never too late to start viewing money from a “The Money Mind” perspective.