#2) i was idly going through some old batman issues and there was this one page in 348 with really lovely colouring and lighting

[alackofghosts]

from on thy wondrous works i will meditate by mary oliver

[flyingkiki]

The Screaming Bunny (2/?)

A day late, but Happy Halloween. You asked for a Halloween treat, so here it is. Enjoy!

~

Halloween was a terrible time to go out. The streets were packed with people dressed up as drunk monsters, superheroes, sexy costumes of whatever possible, and terrible imitations of the Gotham criminals and their ragtag gangs. Also, sexy Joker costumes, ugh. Petty crimes also saw a spike on this night in Gotham, though it was nothing the GCPD or Batman and Robin couldn’t handle on their own.

Admittedly, Tim should be out on patrol right now or perhaps working on those new business acquisition reports for WE. There are a million other things he should be doing right now – like monitoring criminal activities tonight or keeping an eye out on anyone dressed like an Arkham Criminal. He should be also reading a new book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, because Human Resource has been getting on his case to finish the book.

There are honestly a million other things Tim should be doing right now. He definitely should not be squeezing through a packed crowd of sweat, latex, leather, and lace.

But here he was at The Screaming Bunny. In that stupid domino mask. Again.

The private club had sent out an email to all its members of tonight’s “Spooks and Spanks” event. He shouldn’t be here but Tim would be lying if he said that he was not intrigued after the interesting run-in last month.

The club was packed tonight, drawing a crowd dressed in virtually anything or nothing. A couple of bloodied nurses in uniforms too tight to pass hospital standards scurried past Tim and disappeared around the corner. Tim carefully maneuvered his way through the club and towards the bar, hopeful to get a drink.

Soft techno music filled the club and allowed people in the lounge area to either dance or talk to each other. Club policy allowed for alcoholic drinks only by the bar and common area, Tim learned. Alcoholic drinks, and drunk members for that matter, were not allowed in any of the pleasure chambers or dungeons.

Yes, Tim made an effort to go through the club’s policies.

“Hey, what can I get you?” a topless bartender appeared, dressed nothing but a pair of extremely tight police shorts with a pair of handcuffs dangling from his belt.

“Just a scotch,” Tim replied, this time unfazed by the display of nakedness (or the potential violations of health codes by the lack of clothes). He paid for the drink as it slid across the counter and thanked the guy.

Picking up his drink, Tim pushed himself away from the bar and idly surveyed the scene in front of him. Save for the general nakedness, and the occasional grunts and whipping noises that drifted through the room, the club seemed very much like any other Halloween party tonight. A woman dressed in stockings from head to toe walked past him, roughly tugging along a man in nothing but boxers and a latex mask over his head. Tim blinked at the sight and took a sip of his drink, a few stray thoughts flittering through his mind but he quickly squashed these.

There were a couple of tables and lounge chairs in the corners of the room, Tim thought it would be best perhaps to hang out in the back for a while and let the whole party scene sink in. Tonight was the first time he was here as an actual patron and not tailing a criminal. Dodging a couple of plastic horns and demon wings, Tim easily slid through the standing crowd and spotted an empty spot on the couch next to a couple of purple and pink furry monsters (monsters? Tim wasn’t all too sure).

Sliding past a group of men in lingerie, Tim made a beeline for the lounge area. He immediately stopped in his tracks however and quickly spotted why he came tonight. Or why his curiosity peeked in the first place. His grip tightened around his scotch glass and something in his chest fluttered.

Over the crowd of lace, latex, leather, nakedness, and fake blood, purple eyes caught his own. Tim swallowed and felt his breath catch.

From across the room, Raven – Rachel – stared at Tim for a millisecond before turning her attention back to the couple covered in body paint seated across of her.  He watched her chuckle and talk to the couple before her eyes slid back to him and he swore her lips quirked just a little bit. He felt heat rush to his face as he took in her appearance, her pale skin and black hair stood out against the white of her impossibly tight leather corset. And, oh, was that a little halo over her head?

Should he go over? Tim found himself momentarily fumble. Of course he should. Wasn’t this why he came back? Because he was curious? Because he wanted – Tim blinked and caught his thoughts as Raven waved him over.

Oh god.

“You’re back,” Raven said to him once he finally approached their table. She offered him a playful smile and her purple eyes danced in the dim lights. She tilted her head and leaned back just a little bit as she eyed him with that amused smile of hers. “Why don’t you join us?” she asked, scooting down the leather sofa to make room for him in their little corner of the lounge area.

“Sure,” Tim felt a rush of emotions run down his back at the invitation – and that smile – and sat down next to her, leaving respectable room between them. Trying not to focus too much on an intriguingly amused Raven (why was she so amused? He needed to know), he placed his scotch glass on the small glass table and offered the other two women a smile. “Hello.”

“This is Tracy and Lady X,” Raven introduced, pointing at a small redheaded woman in a skimpy Super Mario costume with a dog collar and a blonde woman in complete leopard body paint. Raven gracefully pointed at each woman with her drink in her hand. Tilting her head towards Tim, she eyed him in mild amusement. “And this is…” she trailed off.

“Red,” Tim supplied smoothly and smiled at the two women. “Nice to meet you,”

“Red,” Raven repeated with an amused lilt in her voice before hiding her smile into her mojito glass. She leaned into the sofa, looking impossibly comfortable and blissfully ignoring how surreal everything truly was – Tim and her in club filled with naked people. It just felt surreal. He swallowed.

“So what are you supposed to be?” asked Tracy curiously, leaning forward just a little bit and eyeing Tim’s costume skeptically.

Tim felt his neck and cheeks burn at the attention. He had not put much thought into wearing any particular costume tonight – because what does one wear to a private BDSM club Halloween party really? “Ah, a random biker?” he replied, chuckling softly. He hoped his jeans and the leather vest he was wearing passed those standards.

Tracy chuckled with him and offered him a sympathetic smile. “Good try,”

“Random Biker Red,” Raven hummed next to him barely audible over the noise. He caught her staring at him, that amused smile never really disappearing. Tim swallowed and caught her eye briefly before reaching for his drink.

“How did you guys meet?” asked Lady X curiously. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before,”

“He’s a new bunny,” Raven easily supplied and Tim felt his inside twist lightly at the word bunny. There it was again and he fought every urge not to openly stare at Raven. “I just bumped into him a few weeks ago,” she said.

“Ohh,” Tracy leaned forward just a little bit, her eyes sparkling in clear mischief. “Is he going to be your dom, Rachel?”

Tim coughed loudly into his drink at her words and he was sure Raven felt his spike of emotions as she shot him a quick glance. Dom? As in – holy shit. He blinked and tried to ignore how loudly his heart beat in his ears. He ignored the hot jolt than ran through him. “I – ugh, her what?”

Raven rolled eyes at Tracy and sent Tim an amused smile. “Easy. He’s new, Tracy,”

Ignoring Raven, the woman dressed up like a very sexy Mario brother leaned over their glass table and whispered very loudly. “She’s looking for a dom or a switch, just so you know,”

“Oh,” breathed Tim and his gaze involuntarily turned to Raven, who quirked her lips lightly in response. Well, was that information Tim needed? He wasn’t sure. But will he store this information for later? Yes. He inhaled softy as his stomach flopped and stray thoughts flittered through his head. He silently wondered if Dick knew about all of this – Dick would kick is his ass if he knew he was here with Raven.

“So you were saying about your plans?” Raven turned her attention back to the couple across of them. Crossing her legs, Tim’s heart jumped at the sight of thigh-high white stockings, Raven comfortably leaned back into the sofa and eyed her friends. If she could sense his keyed up emotions, she displayed no indication. “Are you expanding your studio or not?”

“Oh, yeah. Like I said we hit a few snags when we opened one of the old walls and discovered that the piping needed replacing. Most of the pipes are ancient like Gotham,” Tracy made a face and took a hearty swig from her cosmopolitan. “I’m talking to some contractors to see what can be done,”

Raven frowned. “Didn’t they tell you about the piping issue when they sold you the adjacent complex?”

Lady X rolled her eyes and leaned back into her seat with a sigh of exasperation. Some of her silver bracelets clinked as she moved around. “They did but we didn’t expect that it’d be that bad.” She shrugged and sent Tim an annoyed look. “Some of these brokers are just lying assholes, you know,”

Tim blinked trying to catch up with the conversation. Admittedly he was a bit miffed at the normalcy of the conversation on renovation work in the middle of a BDSM club. But then again, what did he expect to hear tonight? “I’m sorry, I’m not following?” he blinked and offered them an apologetic smile.

“Tracy owns an art studio,” Raven explained and took a tiny sip from her mojito. “They’re expanding the studio but hit some snags along the way,”

Tim nodded. “You’re an artist? That’s amazing,” he said. Tracy blushed at the praise while Lady X seemed to beam with pride. Leaning forward over the table just a little bit, she grinned at Tim.

“She painted all of this,” she said and waved a perfectly manicured hand over her body. “Such a talented artist, my little pet is,” she practically purred and sent Tracy a fond smile.

Tim blinked and ignored the pet endearment. Briefly glancing at Raven, he shared an amused smile with her, and looked at the intricate leopard body paint on the woman’s body. He nodded and smiled at them. “That’s really beautiful,” he said.

“Thanks,” Tracy beamed. She fiddled with her empty cosmopolitan glass. “So yeah, I’m trying to get something arranged with a few contractors to fix the old piping. We tore down a few walls to open up the space and discovered the piping was rusty and not up to building code. We need that fixed before we can proceed with expansion renovations of the annex building,”

“You could also go after the guys who sold you the place. If they were not totally upfront with the issues of the complex you’re getting, maybe there’s something that could be done?” suggested Tim. And he immediately went into details of some legal remedies they could take.

“Oh wow. Okay,” Tracy nodded and released a deep breath. “That sounds like something we could do,”

Tim took a sip of the last of his scotch and offered her a smile. “Talk to your lawyer to figure something out,”

Lady X sent Raven a look and her black eyes sparkled mischievously under the dim orange lights. “Looks like your new friend is pretty useful,” she said.

Raven chuckled and shrugged. “Looks like it,” she said playfully and the two shared a smile.

A man dressed in nothing but black appeared next to their table suddenly. The words ‘Dungeon Monitor’ were written across a bright orange sash he wore. “The St. Andrew’s Cross is ready for you, Lady X,” he said before turning around and heading back to the pleasure areas.

“Wonderful,” Lady X clapped her hands and stood up. “Come, my pet,” Tim watched as Lady X bent over just a little bit and hooked one of her fingers through the large silver hoop that hung from Tracy’s collar. She tugged the woman into a standing position and gently pulled her away from their table. “You’ll come watch us?” she asked them over her shoulder.

“Watch?” Tim breathed, his brain catching up with what that truly meant.

Raven smiled and shrugged at the woman. “We’ll try to catch up. Enjoy,”

The woman in leopard body paint shrugged with a smile. “Your loss,” she said before roughly tugging Tracy through the crowd.

Tim watched them disappear around the corner and into one of the pleasure corners, or dungeons, he wasn’t all too sure. They were likely the same – and did they just invite them to watch them? He stared at the corner for a second too long.

“Curious?”

Raven’s voice brought him back from his thoughts and Tim turned back to Raven, and finally, finally¸ got a better look at her as she turned her full attention towards him and shifted in her seat to face him. She was dressed in a plain leather white corset and tiny white booty shorts that really left nothing to the imagination. He was sure he stared a second too long, as Raven tilted her head expectantly and the corners of her eyes crinkled just a little bit in amusement.

“Oh,” Tim breathed and felt his ears ring just a little bit. He watched her shift gracefully in her seat and folded one of her legs under her as she faced him. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. He swallowed nervously and surveyed the crowd of naked people around them. “I’m honestly not sure why I came back,”

Raven shrugged and idly took a sip from her mojito. “That’s okay. It’s a lot to take in,” she said. She offered him a small smile. “It’s nice you’re back though,”

Something stirred inside of him and Tim smiled lightly. “Yeah?”

Raven tilted her head lightly and her eyes shone under the dim lights. They could hear the loud cracks of a whip through the air, and Tim watched her gaze slip over his shoulder. Her lips curled just a tiny bit. He swallowed as a thought crossed his mind – did she want that? He felt heart jump into his throat at the stray thought and watched a languid smile grow on her lips as her attention turned back to him. “How do you like it so far?” she asked as she propped her left elbow on the back of the sofa and dropped her chin into her hand, eyeing him in amusement.

“I got good company,” Tim chuckled as Raven snorted softly. He absently fiddled with his glass before placing it on the table. “I’m surprised how normal conversations are here,”

“What? The building expansions? What did you think we’d talk about here?” Raven asked teasingly. She watched Tim look around briefly and take in the people milling around the lounge area. “I don’t know,” he replied as he turned back to Raven.

Raven smiled assuringly. “Clubs like these are close to any other club. What makes places like these special is the level of trust and respect that goes into these places and among the patrons. You come here as yourself, you can explore and enjoy what you like – with appropriate safety limits – and there’s no judgement. Just as safe space for being yourself. With the level of trust and respect that goes into places like these, you’d be surprised how much safer they are compared to your regular clubs,” she said. She looked around briefly before turning back to Tim. “Consent is important here.”

“I noticed that,” said Tim, nodding his head in agreement. He did see how vastly more respectful the crowd was here compared to any other club he had been too. He turned his attention back to her, taking in how comfortable, and alluring, she looked. “So, I’m a Random Biker, what are you?” he asked playfully.

Raven laughed, a sound he was growing to quite like hearing, and titled her head making the little plastic halo dance over her head. “I thought it’d be funny to dress like an angel, all things considering,” she said.

“You make a pretty impressive angel,” he said before he could really think it through. They both paused, ambient techno music falling over them, and they shared a look. Tim watched as Raven’s lips lifted into a small, pleasant smile.

“Were you able to have a look around?” she asked suddenly.

Tim shook his head. “No, when I saw you three I just about arrived.”

“Well then,” Raven breathed and offered him a mysterious smile. The ambient techno music shifted into a louder dance beat and the crowd cheered. “You’re not busy tonight, finally,” she began and leaned into his space just a little bit. He could faintly smell her lavender perfume. “Let’s go have a look around tonight.”

He watched her gracefully stand up and Tim was sure his breath caught in his throat as she stood before him in nothing but her leather corset. He knew it was impolite to stare, but – she was a sight. It was mindboggling to see such a different side of Raven from all the years he had known her – and he would be lying to say he was thirsty to see this side of her more.

As a muted groan drifted through the air and the two shared a look, and Tim admitted that yes, he was curious. So damn curious – he was Tim Drake after all.

“Sure,” he said. He stood up next to her and Raven beamed, bending over and picking up something discarded on the table. A thin riding crop.

Despite her strappy heels, Raven barely came up to his chin. She tilted her head up just a little bit and Tim watched as the shadows of some of the spider decorations danced across her collarbones and cheeks. He held his breath. She held the riding crop in her hands and smiled. “Great, let’s make sure you have fun tonight,” she told him softly.

Tim desperately wanted to know what that meant.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

13) THE STEALTHIER APPROACH

  “The early warning Spider-Sense is the ace up Peter Parker’s sleeve, although rarely does he use it to its full potential.”

 You mean like synching it to his spider tracers, using it whilst he sleeps, using it to detect if items of food might be out of date or using it in combination with his speed to defeat heavy hitters like Fire Lord?

 “Either he’s warned ahead of time that he’s about to be bonked on the head, while swinging idly around the Manhattan skyline, or he’s caught completely unawares by villains like Venom who don’t activate the sense in the first place.”

 See above as to why this is bullshit.

 “Imagine if he was more pro-active with it, using it to scope out enemy strongholds for weaknesses and danger before heading in.”

 a)   Peter has used it to avoid detection when infiltrating his enemies’ hideouts

b)   No he doesn’t do much reconissence but kindly show me some examples of Miles doing that as I’m forgetting any at the moment

c)   Peter doesn’t NEED to scope out enemy strongholds. Most of the time he leaves the way he came in or doesn’t have time to waste doing that because he has to you know, beat the bad guy and save the innocent lives. His decades long success rate at doing this basically disproves his need to adopt this approach at all

 “That’s the approach of Miles, who along with the Spider-Sense also has the ability to “cloak” himself, going temporarily invisible so he can take a more stealthy approach to crimefighting.”

 If Miles was that much stealthier he could just use his cloaking and spider sense powers in conjunction to his venom blast and end his enemies in one move.

 Except he rarely does that.

 Which is bad because t makes him look incompetent.

 But it is also good because if you are trying to be the legit Spider-Man stealth is not what you got for. Spider-Man Noir as a Spider-Man variant being a stealth guy can work to a point. But Spider-Man proper should tend towards being fun and bombastic with jokes a plenty, which is anathema to being stealthy.

 “It’s also susceptible to bad guys the trick doesn’t work on, but it’s an interesting addition to the arsenal which plays up the fact that the 14-year-old hero hasn’t quite the physical presence of his adult predecessor.”

 Putting aside how Miles isn’t 14 currently this sentence doesn’t even make sense, I can’t figure out what they are trying to say here.

 “That, in itself, makes for less-balanced and consequently more tense battles.”

 ...what?

 If Miles has all of Peter’s powers, plus some extra ones, plus some training then in terms of his raw power he’s MORE powerful than Peter.

 So fights might be less balanced but they are less balanced in MILES’ favour, not the villains, thus REDUCING tension not increasing it.

 Peter couldn’t have hoped to sneak up on Juggernaut and administered a shock to his nervous system by just touching him.

 “You truly don’t know if he’ll make it through most encounters unscathed!”

 Yeah you do. Invisibility+Venom blast.

Or else you don’t know how he’ll win in the same way you don’t know how Peter will win.

 12) HIS BITE

  That isn’t a bite It’s a sting or a blast.

 “The times they are a-changin’. As the might-makes-right approach of the traditional, outside-the-law superhero comes under closer examination in the modern age, the more upstart members of the Marvel Universe have started taking a different approach to the conflicts they find themselves at the center of. Squirrel Girl helps to rehabilitate her “enemies,” Ms. Marvel empathizes with them, and it turns out there are alternate routes to success than simply pummeling people.”

 Yeah the times are a changing...into crappier times.

 Look this genre is fuelled by an inherent good vs evil dichotomy. It’s what the movies work on. It’s what the public go to see.

 SHOCKINGLY people WANT to see superheroes FIGHTING supervillains.

 Now sure there are alternate routes to defeating some villains beyond pummelling them but what’s the end game of this?

 All super villains are reformed meaning...there is no purpose for the heroes.

 I mean Jesus Christ this is what this mentality (and like half of tumblr) seem to advocate for right?

 They don’t want Super HEROES they want super powered social social workers. That’s not this genre. That’s not the appeal.

 A real easy way to determine that is to ask would you as 1n 8-12 year old honestly be interested in 2 brightly coloured super powered people routinely just sitting down and talking about their feelings with little-no action at all?

 The answer is Jesus Christ no.

 People forget this but most of these characters aren’t intended exclusively for mid-20s or older people who’ve taken one too many sociology classes and want to deconstruct all forms of entertainment.

 Look at the Wonder Woman movie. It’s ultimate message is love not war which is an awesome message that people did walk away from but it still entertained them and won accolades for having stunning action and involved a superhero going one on one with a super villain in a great brawl.

 Shit look at the critical acclaim Captain America: Civil War scored or Mad Max: Fury Road got. Of course a lot of that had to do with substance.

 But a lot of that also had to do with the action.

 Jesus Christ how many video games (video games being the most popular art form of all time currently) involve action or physical conflict of some kind?

  I’m not even saying we can’t have this in moderation, just not as the norm.

So maybe the times are changing. But the times changed in the 1990s too. And they changed into garbage.

 So this is a bullshit point of praise.

 “Of course, the antagonists Spider-Man comes up against aren’t always open to negotiation.”

 No they’re not so why did you even bring up the last point?

 “Traditionally, Peter Parker would give his enemies a jolly good thrashing before stringing them up in webbing for the cops to collect, but Miles Morales can just cut out the middleman. He doesn’t need to do any pummelling at all. Thanks to his ever-so-slightly different origin story to Peter, he boasts an alternate powerset, which includes a “venom bite” (which he delivers in a very similar way to a Vulcan nerve pinch) that has been shown to floor even big tough bad guys like Scorpion, without the need for further physical violence.”

 Oh so he’s a superhero in a superhero action series who’s so powerful it negates the need for much action and conflict unless the story is written poorly to not do that for the sake of convenience.

 Kewl I guess.

 11)  A STREAMLINED ROGUE’S GALLERY

 “He may not have the best rogue’s gallery in comics, but Spidey surely boasts the largest.”

 a)   Pretty sure Batman has as large a rogue’s gallery

b)   Technically the Avengers and Justice League have the largest rogues gallery ever

c)   He doesn’t have the best...just the second best and best in all Marvel

 “Almost every one of his main antagonists has inspired copycats (the various Goblins) or else ceded their mantels to younger replacements (Vulture, Venom). New creative teams are always throwing new enemies into the mix, with decidedly mixed results, from Typeface to Komodo. It’s not so much a rogue’s gallery at this point as an entire museum.”

 Komodo wasn’t even in a Spider-Man comic book.

 And...yeah...Peter has faced a lot of bad guys. What’s the big deal. It’s not like they are all relevant.

 “It’s beginning to get a little overcrowded in Peter Parker’s side of the ring, which means that a returning foe is as likely to inspire a “who’s that?” response from readers as excitement or terror.”

 This is potentially the single most asinine and straw grasping criticism of this article.

 Spider-Man has too many villains so Miles is better?

 Spider-Man the superhero who’s been around for decades has tried something new across those decades and been challenged by a whole host of different enemies which adds variety to his stories so he sucks.

 I mean God almighty you realize that stories can just explain who returning characters are right? You realize it’s not like every character is mandated to return right?

 You realize it’s not like every villain is required reading or needs to be remembered to enjoy any other future story.

 “Even the classic villains are close to being overused, with Norman Osborn invariably trotted out as the one behind everything at the end of any huge story arc.”

 This is utterly ignorant and a dated, cliché criticism spoken by someone who doesn’t know what they are talking about and has likely just heard something someone else has said.

 The only BIG stories Norman was behind were

 The Clone Saga

 Marvel Knights Spider-Man

 Sins Past

 Goblin Nation

 This current crap we’re being subjected to.

 Now call me insane but FIVE big stories and a few smaller scale ones across 20+ years is objectively not overusing a character.

 Especially when it’s you know the literal BEST Spider-Man villain ever.

  “Miles has no such problem, with his nascent superhero career offering a far more streamlined rogue’s gallery, including existing Marvel villains, “Ultimate” takes on Spidey enemies and more!”

 For starters Miles no longer has any of the Ultimate versions of Spider-Man’s villains to fight and wasn’t the author complaining about copycats just a minute ago?

 And think about how desperate this argument is.

 ‘Miles is better because he has even LESS villains than Spider-Man and the ones he does have aren’t even the really cool ones that Peter has, just derivative Ultimate versions of them which don’t even exist anymore’

 So basically Miles has a smaller, less interesting, and not even legitimately his own rogues gallery.

 How fan tucking fastic for him.

 I can’t wait to read the latest issue of Miles Morales to see what non-entity enemy from his meagre rogue’s gallery which offers less potential for exploration and challenge we’ll see next!

 10) HE NEARLY BEAT GALACTUS ONE TIME

  “In most cases, the appearance of Galactus on Earth is cause for panic, and for all the planet’s mightiest heroes to team up in desperate hope that their powers combined can beat back the eater of worlds. For Miles Morales, that’s just a Tuesday. ”

 No for Miles Morales it’s called the world changing millions of people are dead and New Jersey is gone storyline literally called ‘Cataclysm’.

 “Well, “Ultimate Cataclysm” didn’t specify when it was set, but you catch our drift. Peter Parker has had cosmic adventures, including a spell as Captain Universe in the early ‘90s, but his adventures are mainly earthbound and street-level. His dealings with Galactus are minimal.”

 Good, Spider-Man doesn’t work well and shouldn’t have many if any cosmic adventures. No legitimate Spider-Man should.

  “Miles is mostly a down-to-Earth kind of Spidey, too, but there are exceptions… like the time he fought Galactus. During a rupture between universes, the Ultimate Galactus (a sort of alien hive mind) merged with the original, who attacked the Ultimate universe and was only halted in his tracks — having already decimated New Jersey — after Reed Richards and Miles Morales ventured into the regular Marvel continuity to get some intel. He didn’t do it single-handed, but he got closer to beating Galactus than Peter ever did.”

 So Miles is better because he got closer to defeating a bad guy that creatively speaking he had no business being involved with and whom Peter has never encountered or had an opportunity to try and overcome even though he could’ve done literally everything Miles contributed to the defeat.

 9) HIS MOVIE LOOKS GREAT

 “The upcoming “Spider-Man: Homecoming” appears to be taking as much from the Miles Morales version of the characters as the classic teenaged Peter Parker from the ‘60s comics, including a more diverse supporting cast and a best friend who looks suspiciously like Ganke.”

 Yes and that is a BAD thing.

 Also they seem to be racebending characters moreso than taking them from Miles’ series. So it’s more like the Spec cartoon.

 “Tom Holland impressed in the title role during “Captain America: Civil War” and the ensemble is rounded out with an impressive collection of comedic and dramatic actors, but the unknown quantity in all of it? Director Jon Watts, whose resume behind the camera up until this point includes trashy direct-to-video horror “Clown” and indie darling “Cop Car.”

 It could go either way with Watts. The big-screen debut of Miles, meanwhile, is as assured a hit as you get in Hollywood these days”

 In other words it isn’t assured at all since Sam Raimi made 2 great Spider-Man movies then fucked up, Nolan made 2 great Batman movies then fucked up, Marvel Studios made 3 great Netflix shows then fucked up.

 “an animated feature written by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, the endlessly inventive comedy geniuses behind “The LEGO Movie,” the “21 Jump Street” reboot and the upcoming Young Han Solo film. Throw in “Rise of the Guardians” director Peter Ramsey and “Dope” star Shameik Moore, and it’s a dead cert. ”

 There is no such thing as a dead certainty.

 ““Homecoming” will be entertaining at the very least. The Miles movies has the makings of something special.”

 How in God’s name is this at all evocative of Miles superiority to Peter?

 In the unpredictable future Peter will probably have an entertaining movie but Miles will have an even better movie so Miles is better as a character.

 a)   By this idiotic logic Peter is a better character since he’s had at least 2 GREAT movies already which changed film making and superhero films forever and to some people even ASM 2012 and ASM2 had merit

b)   What the Hell do the movie versions of these characters have to do with the actual original versions of the characters on an evaluative basis? Nada

 8) HE’S AN AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

  “Peter Parker is an autodidact… when it comes to superhero business, anyway. He flourished in the academic settings of high school and college, but when he pulled on the webs, he was on his own. Much of the pleasure of early “Spider-Man” stories was in seeing the hero fail, or succeed in spite of a scrabbling panic to save the day, compared to the more polished and confident adult Marvel heroes. It’s something that’s more or less been lost as he himself has entered adulthood.”

 No.

 Peter can still screw up and fail sometimes. He’s just learned is all.

 You see great stories have this thing called character development. It’s where a character changes and grows as a person in response to the events they experience as part of the story.

 So yeah we ‘lost’ the pleasure of seeing Spider-Man learn the ropes. But we GAINED the pleasure of seeing him blossom and thrive by putting his experiences into action as a seasoned pro hero.

 Again, by this dumb logic 1980s Spider-Man kind sucked even because Peter wasn’t learning the ropes like he used to in the old days.

 In other words the author is saying Spider-Man is worse now because he dared to develop as a character instead of staying stuck in motion forever learning like a screw up.

 “Miles Morales, meanwhile, has the benefit of being a semi-self-taught rookie and having had a spell as an Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

 So Miles Morales as Spider-Man (part of the concept of which is being the antidote to the Robins and Human Torches and otherwise mentored teen heroes) is better than Peter because he kind of had people to teach him what to do rather than the way more impressive independent route where you ride or die by your own choices.

 I know he wasn’t fully mentored (but he is now...by Peter himself) but that still doesn’t make him truely independent.

 See when Mayday Parker as Spider-Girl did this way before Miles it at least made a lot more sense conceptually. Her concept was not merely picking up a fallen mantle but being Spider-Man’s daughter in a world where the Marvel heroes were this legendary generation who still lived and thrived. The whole basis for the character and universe was the next generation inheriting things from the old one thus justifying Mayday bending the Spider-Man rules about having mentors.

 Miles? That’s not his concept nor does it render him better in any way.

 I’m not saying being mentored means you suck. But being self-taught and discovering and honing your craft by yourself on the streets is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more impressive.

 To say otherwise is like saying as a character Robin is better than Batman because he didn’t have to go through as much training and travelling as Batman did.

 “In the Ultimate universe, he was recruited (as Ultimate Peter Parker was) in pursuit of both stopping him from causing international incidents, and honing his abilities.”

 So like the Ultimate Peter Parker Miles failed at honouring one of the most important core concepts of Spider-Man ever.

 I can see why this renders him equal and a valid substitute Spider-Man for Peter.

 “So, while the adult Peter Parker is mostly competent but frequently sloppy, Miles walks the line between well-trained and still technically a child, a dichotomy which makes his enemy encounters all the more fraught with tension.””

 a)   They aren’t fraught with tension. He can beat Blackheart by tapping him

b)   Peter is only sloppy when he’s written poorly by idiots like Slott

c)   Correctly written Peter Parker is almost always competent but can make mistakes because he’s human which is what makes him a vital and compelling character

d)   Why is being a child somehow better as a character than someone who isn’t

[sequentialartconfidential]

Okay, so new year, new opportunities. I’m going to attempt to review the comics I buy each week again. I tried it for a while but I kept getting sidetracked so here we go again. I want to preface this by saying that I am not a professional reviewer/critic, all I can offer you is my opinion of the work. I typically buy anywhere from $30-50 worth of new comics weekly so I can’t review everything but if you have a suggestion for a book I should try I’m more than happy to check it out. I also have a tendency to stalk used book stores and comic conventions for old graphic novels and I am especially fond of the clearance bins at Half Price Books so I will share reviews of those as well. The main thing that I love about cheap graphic novels is that I can pick up things that I may never have taken a chance on otherwise due to price considerations. I have found a lot of great comics that way. I also want to preface these reviews by saying that I do write and draw comics of my own so some of my opinions may be skewered by that experience.

Week One: 1/3/2018

Books purchased:

Star Wars Issue 41 Kieron Gillen/Writer Salvador Larroca/Artist Marvel

Batman White Knight Issue 4 (of 8) Sean Murphy/Writer/Artist DC

Scales and Scoundrels Issue 5 Sebastian Girner/Writer Galaad/Artist Image

X-Men Grand Design Issue 2 Ed Piskor/Writer and Artist Marvel

Star Wars Forces of Destiny (Leia) One-Shot Elsa Charretier/Co-Writer and Artist Pierrick Colinet/Co-Writer IDW/Disney

Rat Queens Issue 7 Kurtis J. Wiebe/Writer Owen Gieni/Artist Image

Paper Girls Issue 19 Brian K. Vaughan/Writer Cliff Chiang/Artist Image

Rock Candy Mountain Issue 7 (of 8) Mountain Kyle Starks/Writer and Artist Image

Walking Dead Issue 175 (1 of 6 in the New World Order storyline) Robert Kirkman/Writer Charlie Adlard/Artist Image

 My Favorite Thing is Monsters Emil Ferris/Writer and Artist Fantagraphics

Let me begin by saying that I have not fully finished My Favorite Things is Monsters yet so I won’t be reviewing it just yet. I will say that it is phenomenally drawn and written. You want to keep reading but sometimes the drawings insist that you stop and admire them. I’ve stayed up late a few nights reading it and I’m still only a little over half way through. From all accounts this is just the first book as well so I hope they get the second volume out quick!

Star Wars issue 41 is a continuing storyline that, if I was hard pressed, I would have a hard time remembering and I just read the book yesterday.... I buy most of the Star Wars books and I really can’t say why other than I’m a huge Star Wars fan. The artwork is nice and it’s always fun seeing the original trilogy characters in action but the stories aren’t that exciting. I get the feeling that the powers that be (ether Disney or Marvel) don’t want to change or expand the characters much so they make the writers stick to bland adventures that will in no way change or expand the existing universe. Luke is always an unsteady Jedi wanna-be, whining and worrying, Han is the cavalier scoundrel who is quick with the schoolboy taunts of Leia to where one wonders why he doesn’t just pull her pigtails and get it over with, and Leia is the know-it-all badass who has to keep these two “assets” to the rebellion alive and on track. Chewbacca stands by idly and wonders what about his place in the universe...the Star Wars Universe....

 Buy if you love Star Wars and want to grumble about it, Pass if you do not.

 Batman White Knight Issue 4 (of 8) I’m enjoying this so far despite not being a big Batman fan. I am of the opinion that Batman is a jack booted thug with anger management issues wasting a fortune on playing cops and robbers while Gotham is filled with poor and desperate people. This book is playing up on that view of Batman. Even though I find Batman to be a poorly conceived character I do admit that he inspires some great stories. I know because I buy a lot of them despite not being overly fond of the character. If you haven’t checked this one out it is a doozy. Written by Sean Murphy (Wake, Tokyo Ghost, Punk Rock Jesus) is a great writer (and artist) and I’ve enjoyed his work in the past and that’s primarily why I gave this a shot (and he doesn’t disappoint). The main thrust of the series is that the Joker (or Jack Napier) has turned a new leaf and has become a “good guy”….or has he? He seems to be doing a lot of things right and is championing the poor and oppressed in Gotham. Batman of course doesn’t trust him, Commissioner Gordon doesn’t trust him either but is willing to listen, and Nightwing and Batgirl are somewhere in the middle. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.  I always like comics that hold my interest and keep me in suspense from issue to issue. I am always asking myself, “What happened in the last issue of this comic?” If I can’t answer that question then I know it’s probably not a good storyline or, perhaps, it’s one of those independent comics that take four months or more between issues. Tangent rant: have you noticed that creators are bringing out their own titles with haphazard release schedules so that they can work on mainstream books (Marvel/DC)? It’s a little infuriating. I know it’s the nature of the beast but it’s hard to wait so long between books.

 Buy! This is a good book despite the fact that it’s a Batman book :)

 Scales and Scoundrels Issue 5 I’m digging this comic, it’s like a Dungeons and Dragons adventure….literally. The main characters travel to a dungeon in search of treasure and there are dragons involved. The action even seems as though it is being created through a D&D campaign. DM, “You are in a boat on a mysterious sea and you are attacked by five boats of amphibious creatures with stone weapons, one appears to be a wizard. What do you do?” If this is how it’s being created I’m not mad at anyone for it. I like the storyline and the art is okay. The art is loose, cartoony, and very familiar as I’m seeing a lot of artists using this style as of late. If you have seen any art by Hamish Steele this is very similar. I’m not sure what the influence for this art is but it has become prevalent as of late. It would not be out of place on Cartoon Network or Cartoon Hangover. I know the critique to that kind of comment is always, “Well, can you do better?” Well, no, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t have an opinion. I’m not saying it’s bad, it’s perfectly passable and suits the book  well, all I’m saying is that it’s cartoony and sparse. The characters and their development are top notch so far though and it’s only issue 5 so who knows where it will go from here.

Buy! You may want to wait for the TPB at this point but it’s definitely a good read.

 X-Men Grand Design Issue 2 Ed Piskor is my homeboy. He may not know it but he is. I’ve been hyping this guy since I read Wizzywig back in the day. Lately, Ed has been chronicling the life and times of hip hop culture in his book Hip Hop Family Tree which is phenomenal. It’s about people and history and culture just as much as it’s about music so it’s enjoyable on many levels even if you don’t like hip hop. And that’s kind of what’s missing in X-Men Grand Design. Ed is a lifelong X-Men fanatic and has spoken about his passion for the franchise many times and his passion shows in these comics but , through no fault of his own, their story is not as interesting as the story of hip hop. I do admire the book for Ed’s unique and eye catching style. You can always spot an Ed Piskor book! I love that it’s loose and fun and that Ed still does everything on paper including his inking and lettering. His books have the feel of an underground/DIY comic but made by a professional. They’re old school and modern at the same time. Part of the problem may be that I’m not as big of a fan of the X-Men as Ed but partially to blame is the fact that the X-Men have a convoluted, and oftentimes eye rolling, history filled with coincidences, bad plotting, dues ex machina moments, and overwrought soap opera emotions (as a lot of comics with such a long history do to be fair). This is only the second book of course and he is nowhere near the groundbreaking Chris Claremont/David Byrne run yet so we have that to look forward to. The other problem is that Ed is having to untangle the history to tell it chronologically. Things that lazy writers threw in to correct an issue that happened many issues or even years before have to be put into the correct place in the timeline and that can make these stories even more confusing. I will keep buying these if only to look at Ed’s art but I’m anxious to get to a better era of the franchise soon. These early stories are somewhat hokey.

 Buy if you’re a fan of Ed Piskor or the X-Men Pass if your meh about either.

Star Wars Forces of Destiny (Leia) One-Shot This book was released by Disney so you can be sure that it is aimed at a younger demographic. They call it an “All-Ages Adventure” and the advert at the back of the book has a schedule for four more books, one for each week in January 2018. Next week will be Rey, then Hera (Who? Sorry, I haven’t watched Rebels yet), Ashoka & Padme, and then Rose & Page. All of these books are either written by or drawn by (or both) female artists and writers which is really cool.  I’m looking forward to the Rose & Paige book because, and I get the feeling that I’m alone for the most part here, I liked their story in the Last Jedi. This issue deals with Leia and is co-written and drawn by Elsa Charretier (co-writer Pierrick Colinet) who I am unfamiliar with but does an excellent job here. Her drawing style reminds me of Bruce Timm or Darwyn Cooke which is a high compliment coming from me because I am a big fan of both of those artists. As with those guys, Elsa has a style influenced by animation and it shows in the flow of her panels and her fluid action scenes. The story is set on Hoth and she makes Hoth look way more beautiful that it has any right to be. The character designs are loose but perfect and I could totally see this style being used in a Batman Adventures style Star Wars cartoon. The story takes place right before the Battle of Hoth (opening scene of Empire Strikes Back) and Leia leads Han and Hera (No idea) on a mission to find a part for the energy shield. It’s a simple premise but Leia has more character development here than in some of the comics Marvel has released. She knows she’s supposed to be in command and that people are looking to her for answers which puts considerable stress on her knowing that she has to make the right decisions and quick or she is going to lose people and maybe even the war. I liked this comic a lot. I especially liked the art and will seek out other books by Elsa Charretier. Yes, the story is simple and it doesn’t have any big surprises or cover a lot of new territory but it is meant for a younger audience and it is still a good story.

 Buy! Yeah, I’m saying buy this even if you skip the new Star Wars comic get this one. This one is at least fun to read.

 Rat Queens Issue 7 Have you ever had a book, or TV show, or movie that you absolutely loved and then, as it progressed, it lost it’s luster? Rat Queens has become that for me. I loved the early books filled with fantasy adventure, girl power and laughs but, after original artist Rob Upchurch left under a cloud of domestic abuse charges the book lost steam and has not recovered. This is not to say that the art has not been good because it has been spectacular since he left. Tess Fowler was a great replacement who they inexplicably replaced with Owen Gieni when the book was rebooted. I do like Gieni’s art but it made no sense to replace Fowler. Not only did she turn in great art month after month but she brought a female perspective to the art and the book. I imagine she would not have drawn the horrible creature that appears in this issue as Gieni did. It looks like a monster cut from the Spread comic. It has one foot and the big toe on that foot is a penis. Cleaver… mature…. aesthetically pleasing…..I wonder what female fans  thought of that? I don’t know, I just don’t think the comic is fun anymore. They seem to be going from one characters storyline to another  with no real development or insight added to them.  I hate to say this but, for me, the book has jumped the shark and will probably be leaving my pull list.

 Pass! I hope it gets better but I somehow doubt that it will. I have not enjoyed this book since before the reboot.

 Paper Girls Issue 19 I’ll preface this by saying that I really like Brian K. Vaughan’s writing. I loved Y: The Last Man, Ex Machina, Saga, Runaways, etc. For me, this has been the hardest book of his for me to like. I do like it but it took a while for me to get into it and I have no idea why. It may be that the writing is trying to be a little too clever but I don’t know if that’s it. The constant references to the eighties meant to remind us the girls are from the eighties can cause some eye rolling and the obligatory issue where every girl meets their future counterpart give this a Back to the Future vibe. But I like Back to the Future so why am I not as enchanted by this? It may be that I get frustrated when I don’t know what’s going on. This is probably why the book has grown on me as more is revealed. This is the kind of book that I like to read in TPB form as I can read a bunch of them at once and not get left hanging. The writing and the art are great on the book, Cliff Chiang draws beautifully, but it may take you a while to warm up to the book and characters. I say buy the early TPB’s and read them straight through and you’ll be ready to go once you reach this issue.

 Buy if you have all of the other issues, if not then buy the TPB’s first.

 Rock Candy Mountain Issue 7 (of 8) Oh I do love me some Kyle Starks! If you are not yet on the Kyle Starks bandwagon you better hop on now! This guy makes comics that are a non-stop action movie thrill ride that will knock you flat on your butt! I own just about everything he’s made. The Legend of Ricky Thunder, Sexcastle, Kill Them All, and now I’m eating up Rock Candy Mountain. This book is his longest yet and has a lot of things going for it that his previous books did not like spectacular color by Chris Scheizer (Who is himself a tremendous talent writing and drawing the excellent Crogan Adventures series). The other thing that this book has going for it is hoboes and lord knows I love hoboes. I have a keen interest in alternative cultures like hoboes, or beatniks, or Justin Bieber fans; what makes them tick, how did this group form, and why would anyone listen to that god awful music? I also grew up next to a railroad track and love trains and have jumped a few myself (only to drop off a few blocks later so I wouldn’t miss supper). I can understand the feeling of wanting to jump on a train and ride away from your troubles for a while. Ah wanderlust…. So add Kyle Stark to hobo culture and I’m buying that book, no questions asked. Thankfully, my faith in Kyle and hoboes was not ungrounded because this book is awesome. I don’t want to give too much away but this is an epic adventure with plenty of action scenes and great characters. I highly recommend this book. Kyle is another of those artists like Ed Piskor where you immediately recognize his style and there is no one else out there who does it quite the same way. I love his style but opinions may vary. The TPB of the first four issues is out and would be a good start if you’re interested.

 Buy! Buy! Buy! Get the TPB if you’re just starting out.

 Walking Dead Issue 175 Wow, 175 issues and I’ve read them all. Remember when I was talking earlier about loving something and then it gradually fades into apathy? The Walking Dead has become that for me, especially the television show. I would love to take this space talking about how much I hate the show now and how dumb the characters are but this isn’t about the show so I’m going to stick to the book (BTW I hated the All Out War storyline [and Neagan] in the book because it was meandering and poorly plotted and the show is the same way). Anyway, the book has had it’s good moments and it’s great moments, it’s bad moments and it’s excruciatingly bad moments and I think this storyline may fall into the former if it’s done right. Other than the annoying weirdo the group picked up I like where this is going. I have always wondered about other societies out in the world and the one the group has run into is especially intriguing. I’m not going to go into the plot, it’s the Walking Dead, so you know, zombies and stuff. If you have been reading The Walking Dead all along I think you may agree that this storyline is interesting. It may spell the end for the book eventually who knows? I do hope this turns out to be a good one as there hasn’t been a great arc in a while.

 Buy if you’re caught up to this issue or buy the large omnibus books to catch up if you’re not. If you watch the show you may still enjoy this but you’re going to be wondering why Eugene is with the group.

Thanks for reading, sorry if I bored you!