#1st gif is me eating his ass tbh

[matbaynton]

SPY (2011-2012) 2.07 | Codename: Ball Busted 😖

BBC GHOSTS (2019-2023) 4.04 | Gone Gone 🥺

[hxseok-honee]

peripeteia | how the idiots came to be

okay lets get the easy ones outta the way : 

- namjoon and y/n deadass met on the train 1st year it was the most boring meeting of them all

- actually im a liar , she was in a compartment already just minding her damn business when all of a sudden

- a feral “YEET” was heard just outside of her door, followed almost immediately by some first year boy hitting the ground like a high-speed sack of potatoes

- all of his shit was everywhere and he was just face down on the ground not moving at all 

- like is he dead or nah 

- so y/n opened the door to the compartment and went

- “ARE YOU DEAD OR NAH”

- so he responded by rolling over, in the middle of this train hallway thing, and stared up at her for a second before flashing her this cute ass little smile and said

- “i think the world wants us to be friends”

_____

-ok and then namjoon and hobi met bc theyre roommates 

-but hobi was kinda spooky bc hes aggressively smart and namjoons like how the fuck did i not end up in hufflepuff 

-but then within the first month of classes they had at least two major nerd battles and a showdown in the courtyard about the politics of whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich 

- which actually has never been resolved but its fine they fight about it once a year its healthy for them

- and then hobi met y/n bc one time he came back to his room and she was just sitting there talking to roger,, and namjoon wasnt there so he was like okay are you rogers friends and she was whats a roger and roger really deserves better thats all i gotta say

- and then she said smth to him along the lines of “you got a big mouth bro, how many marshmallows can you fit in that thing”

- and jung hoseok never turns down a challenge

- anyway by the time namjoon [who didnt even invite her there] got back there were marshmallows everywhere and they were both knocked out on the floor and roger was sitting in a corner looking very afraid 

______ 

- yoongi and jin met, again, bc roommates

- but yoongi had gifted him a little potted plant as like a “hey we’re gonna be roommates until we leave this place, lets be friends!!” kinda gesture

- and jin was just so confused bc how can one person literally radiate sunshine and warmth

- and he was already a grumpy, sleepy kid so he was like uh thanks im jin?

- and then one time forgot to water the little plant and woke up to yoongi standing over him with a menacing glint in his eye

- he never forgot to water that plant again, its name is Cappuccino and it is doing just fine

- he also actually wasnt a coffee drinker until the middle of first year when he and yoongi really needed to study for an exam but it was 3am and he was ready to fall asleep which is impossible next to yoongi who just breathes naturally produced energy hes like a plant for energy he never sleeps

- so he dragged jin down to the kitchens and convinced a house elf to make jin a coffee 

- he convinced her with a plant and his litto gummy smile bc she definitely did not want to give an 11 year old caffeine but she eventually did 

- and so CoffeeJin was born

____ 

- so the hufflepuffs actually met the ravenclaw-y/n trio the day of the Hot Dog Showdown

- after some of the profs got tired of seeing these two dummies argue and actually stir up quite the crowd bc this is a very controversial topic, they made everyone get lost 

- but jin and yoongi stayed behind and asked the three of them if theyd ever want to get a midnight hot dog snack tg and continue the battle

- so every friday night they would sneak out as a squad of 5 and just sit in the kitchens talking about random shit 

- also they had a precise 35 minutes of that time scheduled for whatever food topic they wanted to argue about that week

- jin and y/n still get into it regularly about the “milk or cereal first” question

- and thats how the older kiddies became friends!

____

as for the younger babies :

- jimin and tae met on the train

- actually they just battled on the train, they didnt really meet properly until they were both sorted into slytherin

- and by that point they hated each other

- “there can only be ONE troublemaker in this school”

- soooo for about a month into their first year the school was a huge mess of them fighting it out 

- and jungkook had gotten caught in the middle of their first train battle so he already knew and kinda liked them even though they were snakes and he was a lion

- he just kinda liked their vibe

- so one night on his way to the kitchens he came across them fighting it out in the corridor and just kinda interrupted with a litto 

- “uhm,,,, excuse me--”

- and they were like oh shit its that kid from the train that we definitely exploded a pumpkin onto 

- “why dont you guys stop fightng and just work together?? isnt that more fun”

- can you imagine a little jungkook  with a big ass coconut head just kind of casually interrupting a battle between two rabid slytherin idiots and suggesting they work TOGETHER

- bc jimin and tae laughed their asses off

- and then they were like wait a minute the coconut has a point 

- so basically jk is responsible for their entire relationship not fate im calling it rn 

- and they just kept bothering him after that tbh until he said fuck house discrimination im gonna be besties with some slytherins

____

- okay before we get to yoonkook lets talk about y/nkook theyre adorable

- they met bc gryffindor but really they met bc y/n was this cool older girl that was never hanging out with anyone in her actual house and instead was friends with a bunch of ppl in other houses

- and jk was a very shy babie before the thing w jimin and tae, so he had a hard time making friends

- and y/n did actually notice this bc he ate alone and did work alone and would only hang out with two troublemaker slytherins from time to time

- so one day she invited him to sit with her and the older bois during lunch and he was like ???? me????? 

- so he just sat there with his head down and was like eating quietly and kinda listening to them talk and kinda responding to y/n when shed talk to him but really he was quiet and didnt really look at anyone bc he was like why are these second years asking me to eat w them im scared mom come get me

- and when he was done eating his sandwich he was like ok i should go do hw or smth so he was gonna get up

- but then a little hand reached out and put another sandwich on his plate and then a little voice said “dont leave yet !! you barely ate, and lunch isnt over for a while -- stay and talk to us?” and when he looked up

- oh boy we love a yoonkook meeting 

- he was staring at the cUTEST BOY HED EVER SEEN HE ALMOST EXPLODED

- and from that moment on, jungkook was Obsessed 

- and kept asking y/n to sit with them during meals so he could talk to yoongi

- so over time he naturally just became one of them 

- and then at some point jimin and tae were like he ABANDONED US 

- and tried to confront him but it was in the middle of one of jk’s creepy stalking moments so jk just 

- took them with him

- that day, yoongi had three stalkers

- and also caught them

-and he was just like “oh hi friend !! and other friends of friend !!” 

- and it was so cute that for like a week jimin and tae were ALSO obsessed with yoongi

- but theyre not very sneaky so yoongi kept catching them

- and eventually was like “hey do you guys wanna sit with us at lunch??”

- and thus the group was Born