#1dlyricwheel

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

About 1dlyricwheel

As of today I will be shutting down the lyric wheel indefinitely. 

Thank you to those of you that participated and shared and liked! Fics will remain up, as I am in firm belief that these stories are magnificent and should be shared with the fandom.

I do apologize that we never got to do more than three rounds: maybe in the future we can start it up again.

xx - 1dlyricwheel

[ziamfanfiction]

any fics where its based on a 1d song?

Head over at @1dlyricwheel! They have tons of it on there based on the boys albums!

[josjournal]

What Am I Writing?

I was tagged by @somewhereisaplacethatziamknow​ (Thank you, sweetie, I love being tagged - truthfully).

So, this is going to be a bit of an undertaking because I have a whole bunch of WIPs (this is not including the numerous ideas I have in their own folders and files).

First, I’ll start with my NonFanFic WIPs (because the list is shorter), although I haven’t really done much on these recently, so I don’t know if they really qualify.

Beautifully Broken: Will Davies is starting his senior year at a new school, hoping to get a new start. On the first day, he befriends Stuart and his boyfriend Troy who bring him into their fold without question. Will meets and connects with Stuart’s cousin, Jamie. This story was started with NaNoWriMo and I hit 50,000 words in the month, but I haven’t worked on it much since. It’s a very serious story with a lot of tragedy and a little bit of fun. I do plan to hopefully one day finish this and publish it.

Cake, Champagne, and Ugly Dresses: The story of a girl who is involved in with a ridiculous number of weddings one summer. This was another NaNo story that made 50,000 words, but didn’t get worked on much afterwards. This one mostly died because of the release of the movie 27 dresses. A part of me would like to return to it because I was very fond of the character Van that I created.

The other two stories I haven’t worked on since I started them, so I don’t really think they are included in this - they are more like ideas than WIPs.

Okay, now on to fanfic:

Ziam Kid Fic: This is actually going to be a longer version of my story, Maybe my Heart. 

Ziam High School Reunion AU: This was inspired by an offhand post one day by @jaegyoo​ looking for a High School Reunion Fic. She is also to blame for the past Tyler Posey/Liam Payne in the story. This is misunderstanding leading to heartbreak leading to school reunion and more misunderstanding. Liam left to play soccer in the US, leaving Zayn and their plans behind. Ten years later, his career is over due to injury, and he’s back where he’s sure nobody wants him. He couldn’t be more wrong.

What a Beautiful Day songfic: This fic is subtitled “The Coma Fic”.  Liam is in a coma and Zayn spends his days at his bedside going back over their relationship in hopes the love of his life and father of his child wakes up. I love this song. There is a small drabble that I wrote for this idea here.

Untitled Ziam Uni Fic: I actually started this as a way to vent when I was stuck at the museum with my daughter. I wrote the opening and then it turned into Older!Zayn and Uni!Liam. Also GraffitiArtist!Zayn. 

Untitled Ziam Fic Radio DJ AU: Zayn is a Radio DJ. He runs into Liam, literally, one night and they form a bond. 

Road Trip AU: Inspired by a traveling exhibit at the DIA, Zayn has to take photos across America for an independent study. The only problem is that Zayn doesn’t have a driver’s license. He places a Craig’s List Ad for someone to drive him a cross country. Liam needs to be across country for a job and figures having company for the trip to get there could be fun. Small spaces and shared hotel rooms. We all know what happens next.

Puppy Ziam: Liam and Zayn wake up one day as puppies. They, along with the other boys, need to figure out why and if they can change back.

Fake Marriage: Liam and Zayn win a honeymoon cruise thanks to Louis entering them without their knowledge. The hitch? They aren’t hitched. They both need a vacation, so they decide to go. The problem? Zayn’s in love with Liam.

Drabble Prompts: Well, I have almost thirty prompts in this file, but the one I’m currently working on is a HandyMan!Liam one. He’s the new handyman in an apartment complex. Things keep breaking in Zayn’s flat. Interesting.

Author/PA AU: Zayn gets a job as a personal assistant to his favourite author, the many years older Liam Payne. They work closely together and feelings develop. There is a drabble for this one here.

So, that is the mess of stuff I’m working on. I’ve also signed up for the @writers4ziam Reverse Exchange as well as the fourth round of @1dlyricwheel. 

Thanks for the tag, Toni. I tag @overwhelmedbyfeels, @englandziam, @mcqdj, @elerinwen, @jmcats (I know you might not be working on anything fanfic related, but wanted to include you), and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it. Just be sure to tag me so I can see what you wrote! :D

[ziamfanfiction]

Do you know any fan fictions based off of songs? Xx

You'll never be mine

All I Can Do

Night Like This

I see it now

Breathe

It was Just Like a Song

6 Degrees of Separation

"Goodbye."

also you can check here for little fics based of 1d songs 1DLyricWheel Challenge

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Change Your Ticket by @englandziam Pairing: Zayn/Liam Rating: G

“Why does it say you’re going to the theatre on Friday?”

Zayn lifts his head from the book he’s reading and to Liam’s frown, his face crumpled with confusion.

“Because I am?” Zayn responds, blinking.

“No,” Liam mumbles almost inaudibly, forehead creased in concern as he shakes his head. “Friday is date night, remember? We’re going out for a meal?”

Liam watches as realisation creeps over Zayn’s features; his lips parting as he exhales a sigh.

“I forgot, Li — I’m sorry, love. Can we reschedule for next week?”

“No,” Liam tells him, crossing his arms over his chest.

He pouts, bottom lip sticking out — because he’d thought of everything. The polaroid photos he’d had developed, memories that he’d tied to the end of balloons. The restaurant he’d hired out for just the two of them, because it’s where they’d had their first date as a couple — and how he’d arranged for both their families to be there afterwards. The ring that’s been buried at the back of his cupboard for months, now.

“Change your ticket.”

Zayn places his mug on the table, shrugging as he stands from the sofa with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

“I can’t, babe. They’re non-refundable.”

He steps closer to Liam, arms reaching out to wrap around his waist before Liam backs away, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” Zayn asks, oblivious as Liam huffs and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Nothin’,” he mumbles, chewing over his bottom lip before pacing away from Zayn and into their bedroom.

He closes the door behind him with a hurried slam, crawling into bed and immediately pulling the covers over his head. There’s anger tugging at every emotion, frustration that he can’t even be mad at Zayn — because he hasn’t the slightest idea what’s going on. Liam pries a hand from beneath the duvet to reach for his phone on the bedside table, fingers tapping hastily at the screen.

He’s in the middle of texting his mum and Tricia not to come on Friday when the door is pushed open; silence for several seconds before there’s a dip in the bed beside him.

“Li?” Zayn asks softly, pulling back the sheets covering Liam’s face.

Liam is quick to turn his phone off, blinking up at Zayn with wide eyes.

“What?” He snaps, all but glaring until he notices the hurt traced over Zayn’s faltered smile, confusion filtered through the deep brown of his eyes. He sighs, pushing up on the mattress so that he’s sitting opposite Zayn. “Sorry.”

“S’ okay,” Zayn mutters, the curiosity of his expression triggering guilt. “I’m sorry that I can’t come Friday, I didn’t know that you were so excited —”

“It’s not your fault,” Liam interrupts, shaking his head. “It’s mine, I should’ve realised that you might’ve been busy before I planned to bloody propose —”

Liam’s eyes go wide the moment the words slip from his mouth, the oxygen somehow getting trapped in his throat as he blurts out a splutter of a cough.

Zayn’s lips part breathlessly in shock, his brows furrowing before his lips ease into a smile.

“You were going to —”

“Fuck,” Liam hisses, swallowing before burying his head in his hands. “I can’t, shit. I can’t believe I just said that.”

“Liam —”

“Why am I so stupid? I just fucking told you…”

“Liam —”

“I’ve ruined the whole thing, I —”

“Liam!” Zayn all but shouts, grinning as Liam finally looks up. He looks ecstatic, eyes slightly teary as he closes the distance between them and shifts into Liam’s lap. “Yes.”

There’s a pinch in Liam’s brow, a sigh poured from his lips as he looks at Zayn warily. “What?”

“Yes,” Zayn repeats, practically glowing as he snakes arms around Liam’s neck. “Yes I’ll marry you.”

“I didn’t even ask you,” Liam pouts, shoulders low. “I had a speech and everything.”

Zayn smiles fondly, brushing laughter over Liam’s lips.

“I don’t need a speech,” he whispers. “I get you, Liam. For the rest of my life.”

Liam finally smiles, eyes wrinkled softly around the edges as Zayn nudges his nose against Liam’s. He shifts on the mattress, keeping Zayn in his lap as he pulls him closer.

“I love you,” he mumbles, slightly distracted by several tears brimming over Zayn’s waterline.

He giggles, kissing them away as they slip over flushed skin.

“I love you,” he repeats under his breath, cupping Zayn’s cheeks. “More than anything, love.”

Zayn grins, laughter vibrating his chest as he continues to silently cry. Fingers brush over Liam’s scalp, hands catching in his hair as he pushes closer.

“I know,” he whispers in between gentle kisses, pulling away to study the laughter lines placed so perfectly to Liam’s skin. “I love you, too, Li.”

He presses another kiss to Liam’s lips before hiding into his neck, lips soothing over the birthmark in the centre.

“Do you want, um, your ring?” Liam asks hesitantly, slightly nervous as he drags his lips over Zayn’s forehead.

He’d spent so long choosing one, even though they were all exactly the same. Andy had practically dragged him away from the counter, but later suggested that he added a personal touch to the ring; a promise other than an item Zayn would wear.

Zayn nods, smiling softly as he coaxes gentle kisses along Liam’s collarbone in attempt to ignore the shiver climbing every vertebrae of his spine. Six years later and Liam still has the same effect on him; his actions and words flitting fond nerves through his mind. It used to bother him — that he was in too deep, but now he couldn’t imagine it any other way. He craves the butterflies tapping delicate wings against the lining of his stomach, and the breathlessness that always follows the softness of Liam’s voice. He’d be lost without it.

Liam slides off of the mattress, leaving Zayn for a brief moment while he parts the rail of their clothes in the wardrobe and reaches for the back of the cupboard. He returns with a velvet box pressed into his palm, his lip taken by his teeth.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to actually propose,” Liam apologises, sitting back beside Zayn. “Blurting it out isn’t exactly the most conventional way to ask the love of your life to marry you.”

Zayn shuts Liam up with a soft kiss, eyelashes stroking his skin as he leans into his side, shoulders knocking.

“We’re not exactly conventional, Liam,” Zayn reminds him, smiling into his cheek. “We met in McDonalds and moved in with each other after just a month, love.”

Liam utters a quiet laugh, humming a kiss to Zayn’s forehead.

“I guess you’re right,” he admits, stroking his thumb over the tiny box. “I still wanted to do it properly, though.”

Zayn sighs another kiss over Liam’s mouth and adds, “You can still tell me everything you planned to say in your speech, babe. Later, Liam — in bed, while I’m kissing every inch of you.”

A muffled giggle is breathed over Zayn’s lips, both of them smiling as Liam opens the lid of the box. He gestures the ring to Zayn, another wave of anxiety pulsing through him as Zayn takes the box with careful fingers.

Zayn’s breath catches in his throat as he notices the ‘Jaan’ engraved into the inside of the silver, his eyes welling with tears again. He’s taken back to the first time he’d spoken the name to Liam, one of his favourite memories as he recalls how mortified he was; how frightened, because they hadn’t been dating long. But nevertheless how excited Liam was when he found out what the word meant — and how ecstatic he was for Zayn to teach him phrases in Urdu.

“Do you like it?” Liam asks uncertainly, biting over his bottom lip. “I can change it, if you —”

“It’s perfect,” Zayn blurts, smiling shakily. “You’re perfect.”

Liam beams, eyed squinting as he taps delicate touches over Zayn’s waist. Zayn traces the four letters with his fingertips, sighing softly.

“I can’t believe you did this.”

Liam shrugs and softly kisses Zayn’s cheek.

“S’ what you are, isn’t it? My life, babe.”

It’s impossible to describe the bundle of feelings aching a hole in his chest; the joy burning his skin as Liam slips the ring onto his finger. The metal is cool to the touch, something similar to comfort dragging a soft smile over Zayn’s lips as he realises the ring will always remain on his finger and that Liam will always remain by his side.

Zayn kneels into Liam’s lap, both hands cradling flushed cheeks. They share soft kisses, whispered “I love you’s” until Zayn is crying again.

“C’n I show you what you would’ve seen on Friday?” Liam asks under his breath, his nose brushing against Zayn’s as he searches for his phone amongst a sea of wrinkled blankets.

Zayn nods, kissing over Liam’s parted lips. It’s selfish, but he can’t help wanting to stay close to Liam; to feel the gentle coax of his kisses and calloused fingers brushed against his skin. He’s overwhelmed with emotion, a silent sob stroking beneath a sharp breath he exhales.

He leans his head against Liam’s temple, lips resting at his cheek as he waits for Liam to scroll through his photos.

“Look,” Liam requests delicately, leaving a whisper of a kiss to Zayn’s chin before he holds up his phone.

Zayn turns his head to see, a smile brightening his tearful expression. The room in the photo is filled with red balloons, hundreds of photos tied to each balloon string below. Twinkly lights draped across the wooden beams of the ceiling; in an old restaurant that Zayn knows too well.

“We did that when we were younger,” Zayn murmurs, referring to the Polaroid’s attached to the floating balloons.  Zayn had set up a similar scene for Liam’s eighteenth birthday; old photos of the two of them decorating Liam’s bedroom when he’d woken up.

“I know,” Liam grins, shoulders shaking with soft laughter. “I have to give you credit for the idea.”

Zayn breathes a smile, looking at the ring wrapped around his finger.

“I can’t express how in love with you I am,” he whispers, swallowing the dry scold of his throat. “I wish I could, I just – this is. You’re amazing, Liam.”

The pepper of a blush scattering over Liam’s cheeks is noticeable from Zayn’s close proximity, his eyelashes feathery as he casts his eyes down and strokes tender touches into Zayn’s palm.

“I…Can I see it?” Zayn asks, pressing his thumb to the birthmark smudged over Liam’s neck. “This? Where you were going to ask me?”

“Of course,” Liam smiles, a shiver tracing each vertebrae along his spine as he drags his fingertips over the ring on Zayn’s finger. “Your family will be there. And mine.”

Zayn whimpers over Liam’s lips, sweeping several kisses over his skin. “They were coming?”

Liam nods with a nervous giggle, snaking an arm around Zayn’s waist as he holds him close.

“Our mums demanded that they’d be there when it happened,” he says softly, amusement clear in his smile. “They wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Zayn paints Liam’s lips with laughter, unable to hide the fond clinging to every touch.

“We should call them,” he suggests, curling his arms around Liam’s neck. “And Lou, maybe. To let them know that we’re engaged.”

The words feel unfamiliar on his tongue, a chaotic confusion of nerves and ecstatic excitement pacing a faster heartbeat with every thought of marrying Liam.

“Why don’t we take just a little more time,” Liam whispers, biting his lip over a fond smile as he pulls Zayn closer.

Fingertips crawl beneath his shirt, the warmth of Liam’s touch relaxing the sudden buzz of energy flitting through Zayn’s nerves.

“For now I just want to spend time with my fiancé.”

Zayn blurts a giggle, grinning over Liam’s breathless lips.

“I can’t believe we’re –”

“Going to spend the rest of our lives together?” Liam interrupts softly, crinkles smudged around his eyes as he beams.

Zayn nods, brushing a kiss over Liam’s lips.

“I guess I better start getting used to the excessive amount of mess you make…” he begins, but is cut off by the sudden squeal leaving his lips as Liam presses him to the mattress, grinning as he hovers over Zayn’s body.

Liam brushes his hand through the fringe fraying over Zayn’s forehead, fond eyes blinking into Zayn’s before they flash down to his lips. He bites over his grin, tangling their fingers together against the mattress as he bows his head to scatter affectionate kisses over Zayn’s skin and stain the sheets with more euphoric memories.

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Girl Almighty by @josjournal Pairing: girl!zayn/Liam Rating: G

Liam sat down on the bench, leaned over and grasped the ends of his shoelace. He wasn’t paying any attention to what was going on around him until he heard someone shouting, “Heads up!”

He looked up just in time for a wayward football to connect with his face. “Shit!” he shouted, hands flying to his nose as he felt the blood begin to flow freely. He instinctively tilted his head back to try to stop the nosebleed.

“Fuck, mate! I’m sorry!” He barely heard the shouted exclamation over the rushing in his ears. Then he felt fingers running gently over his face. “I told Harry that we shouldn’t fuck around with Lou’s ball.” The voice was husky, yet feminine, and Liam struggled for recognition.

“With my knowledge and und-” another voice broke in, only to be cut off by a familiar voice.

“No one cares!” Louis Tomlinson, best friend and worst nightmare of one Liam Payne, shouted, making Liam wince. “Payno, are you alright?”

“He’s gushing blood,” the first voice spoke up again, fingers still running over Liam’s face. “Do you really think he’s alright?”

Liam managed to blink his eyes open, surprised to see someone bent over him; either the person was really tall or was kneeling on the bench next to him. Liam flailed a hand out, connecting with a set of smooth legs next to him. Kneeling. Good to know. Then he realized he probably got blood all over the person.

He started to open his mouth to apologize, but was stopped when his hand was pushed away from his nose to be replaced by a soft cloth that smelled slightly like citrus and flowers and something else, a hint of smoke perhaps. It should have been overwhelming, but instead was actually fairly comforting.

“Seriously, mate, can you speak?” Louis asked, suddenly appearing in Liam’s field of vision, apparently moving behind the bench to peek at Liam’s face.

“Yeah,” Liam choked out, spitting a bit when he tasted blood, then apologizing when he realized it caused more blood to get on the cloth over his nose.

“Not an issue,” the voice said again. Liam finally focused, choking slightly as his eyes met a set of hazel orbs that were darkened in concern. He tried to pull back his vision to take in the rest of the face, but he couldn’t draw his gaze away from the slight changes in colour in the irises and a small speck that seemed to leak into the whites of the eyes. A perfect little dot of imperfection that would’ve made him smile if he weren’t in so much pain.

“Not much of a talker, is he?” This was from the person Louis had cut off earlier.

“Liam, do you know your name?” Louis asked.

“If he didn’t, he would now because you used it!” Liam could hear the sound of skin slapping skin and Louis protesting.

“That’s boyfriend abuse, Styles!” Louis shouted.

“Harry, then,” Liam muttered, identifying the voice of the one person Liam had yet to see. It was the boy Louis had met over the summer while Liam had been away at a training camp for runners. He was at the park today to meet him but had been sidetracked by an untied lace.

“And my mate, Zayn,” Harry spoke up.

“Yes, because now is the time for introductions,” Louis muttered, still looking down at Liam.

“Pleasure,” Liam said, flinching a bit when the cloth stuck as Zayn pulled it away.

“Really? If this is your idea of pleasure, you’re one kinky bastard,” she said, smiling wide when Liam let out a bit of a chuckle.

He reached up, prodding gently at his nose and cheeks, relieved when nothing felt like it’d been broken. He sat up a bit taller, to take in the group around him. Louis was standing in front of him now, arm around a taller bloke with long brown curls, who must’ve been Harry. He had a dimpled smile on his face, but his sparkling green eyes held concern. He waved at Liam who smiled and waved back, wondering why the boy winced when he did.

“Your mouth is full of blood,” the person next to Liam spoke up before an open bottle of water appeared in front of him, tilted towards his mouth. He took a casual sip. “Don’t swallow it, you donut! Swish and spit!” He started to laugh, choking when the bottle was tilted into his mouth again.

“Gimme that,” Liam said once the choking had subsided. He took a giant gulp, swishing the water around and mentally flinching at the iron taste that flooded his mouth before he turned to spit over the back of the bench. As he turned back around, he was finally able to take in the complete visage of his nursemaid. When he did, his mouth fell open and the sip of water he’d just taken dribbled out.

Freaking gorgeous! was the only thought that filled Liam’s brain as he took in the woman kneeling on the bench next to him. Her short cut black hair with a grey streak had fallen to hide one of the hazel eyes he’d been admiring earlier. Strong cheekbones and flawless skin were the next things he noticed before finally falling to red lips with perfect white teeth digging into the lower one.

“He’s drooling over you, Zee. Quite literally,” Harry said, sounding like he was trying to joke, but the concern was still heavy in his tone. “Maybe we should take him to A&E. He might have some kind of brain damage.”

Liam’s attention was grabbed by that and he started to shake his head, trying to ignore the nausea that provoked. “No, no, no, no,” he stated firmly, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth, groaning when he saw the amount of blood that was streaked there as he pulled away.

“Liam’s a bit of a doctor-phobe,” Louis explained. “Spent too much time being poked and prodded as a wee lad.” Liam flipped off his soon-to-be-ex-best friend for the cooing tone that he was using.

“I’ll just pop into the loo and clean up. I’m sure it looks worse than it is,” Liam said, pushing to his feet. “No need to waste a doctor’s time.” He glared when he heard Louis clucking like a chicken under his breath.

“Is he always that big a wanker?” Zayn whispered as she stood as well, a steadying hand on Liam’s elbow, her breath brushing over his ear and sending a shiver through his body. “Are you cold?”

“Nah. Someone must’ve walked over my grave,” he muttered, heading towards the public washroom to get away from this situation before his body started reacting in other ways.

“Hey, Liam!” Zayn shouted, but Liam pretended not to hear her, speeding up until he was nearly running. Then he felt a hand grip his elbow hard; she must’ve sprinted to catch up with him. “Liam, take this. It’ll be softer than the paper.” She was handing over her already bloodied shirt.

“I’m sorry I ruined it,” he said, taking the shirt with a tight-lipped smile, trying not to show his teeth in case they were still blood covered.

“If I were that worried about it, I wouldn’t have used it. I’m not that selfless, mate,” she answered. “Now, go get yourself cleaned up so I can see if you’re really as fit as Louis claims.” She shoved him towards the building as Liam felt all the blood rush to his face.

It took him a few minutes to get cleaned up, but when he thought he was presentable, despite the bruising that was forming around his eyes, he left the building. He was surprised to find Zayn leaning against a bike rack across from the door, a cigarette between her lips and another tucked behind her ear.

She wasn’t looking at him, so Liam took a moment to admire her. She was dressed in a black vest, her arms crossed over her chest. Tattoos covered each arm and Liam thought he spied a few peeking out of the neck of her shirt. He glanced down at the blue and black flannel in his hands, picturing it draped over her shoulders. Oddly enough, he realized that she dressed an awful lot like he did.

“Hey,” Liam said as he crossed the path towards her, his foot catching on the shoelace he’d never managed to tie. He fell forwards, landing on his hands and knees at Zayn’s feet, his face very nearly landing in her lap. He heard her chuckling under her breath. He glanced up at her through his lashes, and even as embarrassed as he was, he felt himself falling in love with her smile.

“Louis forgot to mention how forward you are,” Zayn said, reaching down to help Liam to his feet. She ran a hand over Liam’s cheek. “But he was right about the rest.” Liam feared he was going to spend every moment spent in Zayn’s presence in a perpetual state of embarrassment.

He was going to kill Louis.

***

Despite the awkwardness of their first meeting, Liam was able to charm Zayn into agreeing to go out with him. One date led to two, two dates led to three, three dates led to a four-month anniversary that Liam was terribly stressed over.  He wanted everything to be perfect but had no idea how to do that. It seemed no matter what he tried to plan, something always went wrong.

He had ordered her favourite meal for a picnic, only to discover the restaurant had burned to the ground the night before he was to pick it up. He’d stopped at a flower shop for her favourite flowers, accidentally ordering the one she was allergic to because that was the type that had gotten stuck in his head. Thankfully, Harry had pointed out his error before he’d actually given the flowers to Zayn. He’d stopped by the shelter to try to “rent-a-puppy” for a few hours but discovered they’d been booked solid for months. Banging his head against the wall outside the shelter, he was at a complete loss for what to do now.

After a few moments, he managed to push himself away from the wall. Turning around, he ran smack into his ex-girlfriend, Darlene. “Freakin’ perfect,” he muttered under his breath when she gave him a too-bright smile, placing a hand on his chest, nails scratching slightly through his shirt. “Hi, how are you?” he asked, trying to be polite, but already planning how to make a quick getaway.

“I’m good,” she practically purred, and Liam fought the urge to roll his eyes. The relationship hadn’t ended well, but he refused to be flat out rude, as much as he wanted to be. “John and I split up.”

Liam’s hackles raised at the mention. John had been the guy that she’d been seeing before she’d met Liam, assuring him that relationship was long over. It wasn’t. The entire time Liam had been seeing her, he’d been nothing more than a side piece, and he was still horribly embarrassed. That’s what he got for thinking someone like her would be interested in someone like him.

Stepping back, he gently removed her hand from his chest. “Think I’ve heard that line before.” He counted it as a win when he didn’t feel even an ounce of guilt at the hurt look on her face.

“For real this time,” she said, trying to step closer, pouting when Liam took another step back.

“Even if I were still interested, which I’m not, I’m seeing someone,” Liam told her, smiling as he pulled out his phone and unlocked it to show her the picture of Zayn that was his phone’s wallpaper.

“You’re dating Zayn Malik?” The sneer on her face flared Liam’s anger.

“Is there a problem with that?” He knew his voice was dripping with a brand of poison that was unusual for him, but he hated to hear anything disparaging about Zayn.

Darlene shrugged. “Well, you know some say, ‘She's such a fake.’”

Liam glared. “Well, I guess it would take one to know one, wouldn’t it?” He turned on his heel, ignoring the sputtering of outrage behind him.

“She doesn’t really love you! Who would love you?” Darlene shouted, and Liam tried to pretend her words didn’t sting.

Once he was around the corner, he dropped down onto a bench, elbows on his knees and face buried in his hands. He let out a silent scream. His mind was racing with Darlene’s words. He really didn’t want to believe them, but he always struggled with the belief that someone as amazing and beautiful as Zayn was with him. He’d spent so much of his life hearing how worthless he was, and then after the debacle that was Darlene, he was convinced he would never be someone’s number one.

He knew he loved Zayn. He loved her more than he’d ever loved anyone, had even told his mum who’d been thrilled. He figured his sisters had already started planning the wedding. The only person he hadn’t told was Zayn, terrified that she would laugh at him. There was a small part of him that believed he was just a fling to her, a way to pass the time until someone better came along.

He wiped at the tears that had sprung out of his eyes, startling when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he was completely surprised to see Zayn sitting next to him. “What are you doing here?”

She shrugged, pointing over her shoulder towards the art supply store where she worked. “Saw you race around the corner, drop on the bench and then not move. Got worried.” She was chewing her lower lip, and Liam couldn’t stop himself from using his thumb to pull it free of her teeth. “Alright?” Liam nodded before leaning in to press his lips to hers.

He could feel Zayn’s smile before he pulled back, he loved that feeling, knowing that kissing Liam made Zayn smile. He took a deep breath. “I love you,” he said, his own teeth digging into his lip as soon as the words had escaped.

Her smile grew even wider, her eyes sparkling as her tongue pressed behind her teeth. “I love you, too.” Her voice was so matter-of-fact as if Liam should have already known. Her head tilted when Liam didn’t say anything. “You did know that, right?” Liam felt his cheeks warm as he shook his head slightly. “You think I show up with chicken soup at four in the morning for just anyone? That I just happen to have all of my mates’ schedules memorized?” Liam felt really foolish now, but what she said last actually made him feel cruel. “That I just randomly sleep around with my friends?”

“N-n-” Liam stuttered out, words lost, cutting off completely when Zayn raised her hand.

“Look, maybe you need to think about those words you just said to me because I can’t imagine you could love someone you think so little of. Really thought you were different, babe.” She brushed at her eyes as she got up off the bench, turning back towards the store.

“Wait!” Liam shouted, smiling hopefully when Zayn stopped and turned back to face him. He hopped over the back of the bench, his foot getting caught at the last moment, sending him sprawling at Zayn’s feet.

His face took on the flush that seemed to be constant around Zayn, not that he’d ever complain; he’d rather spend his life embarrassed with Zayn than without her. He glanced up to see her standing with a hand over her mouth, face red and eyes watering. Her shoulders were shaking and after a moment, Liam joined in her laughter.

“You really don’t need to keep throwing yourself at my feet, babe,” she said, reaching down to help him up. She ran a hand over his cheek. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” Liam said, his voice finally holding the conviction it should have held moments earlier. “I love you, too.”

***

Four months marked the official beginning of exclusivity for Liam and Zayn. One year rolled around and found them moving into a flat together, enduring the harassment of their friends. Graduation came and went, Liam began working as a trainer for a local semi-pro football team while Zayn interned with a comic book company. Three years found them still together, Liam still working for the football team and working part-time as a personal trainer at the gym in the same building where Zayn was working full time as an illustrator at the comic book company she’d interned at.

At around the three and a half year mark, Zayn came home from work bouncing with more energy than usual, her coworker, Niall, following behind talking loudly, as usual. “This is awesome!” he shouted as the door opened,

Liam glanced over the back of the sofa, smiling at Zayn whose arms were full of grocery sacks. Niall had a case of beer under each arm. “Are we celebrating?”

“Hell, yeah!” Niall shouted, dropping the cases on the coffee table and breaking them open. He pulled out a bottle for each one of them as Zayn disappeared into the kitchen. “Zayn’s comic got greenlighted!”

“What?!” Liam said, looking at Niall before jumping off the sofa and hurrying into the kitchen, stopping when he found Zayn bent over in front of the fridge, giving him a lovely view. “You got greenlighted?”

Zayn stood, turning to face him, a huge smile on her face as she nodded. “I got greenlighted,” she repeated, and Liam knew it was a thrill for her to say it. He wondered how many times she already had and would again, knowing he wouldn’t mind if she said it non-stop for the entire night; he was so damn proud of her. “Niall and I have a month to finish the first issue. They’re already actively planning events for the launch.” They looked at each other, huge smiles on their faces for a moment before Zayn squealed, jumping at Liam.

Liam should’ve known what was coming, but he was still taken off guard and found himself on his back, looking up at a less-than-apologetic Zayn.

“I’m always falling for you, aren’t I?” Liam asked.

Zayn laughed loudly, standing and pulling Liam to his feet and running a hand over his cheek. “The falling is mutual, yours is just the only one that’s literal.”

***

Although Niall and Zayn got the comic finished by the month deadline, it took another nine months before the launch. Tidbits and teases had been posted online for three months leading up to the event. Buzz over the new female superheroine, Girl Almighty, was huge, so the launch party was moved three different times to bigger and better venues.

The night of the launch, Zayn was nervously flitting through the flat in her undergarments, afraid to put her dress on too soon and get three dogs worth of dog hair on it. Liam wasn’t going to complain about the view, but he was definitely concerned about Zayn’s state of mind. He knew that big events made her nervous and the fact she was going to have to make a speech later in the night had her wanting to call off the whole event, or at least have Niall speak in her place.

Liam was leaning in the doorway of their room as Zayn was sliding the formfitting black dress over her head, careful not to mess up the perfect hairstyle and makeup she’d spent hours on. Once the dress was over her head, she grabbed her heels, sliding them on and then cursing because she couldn’t keep her balance long enough to do up the buckles. Liam smiled, leading her over to the bed. She glanced meaningfully at the dogs, so Liam ran into the bathroom. He brought out a towel and laid it on the bed, taking Zayn’s hand and helping her to sit on the edge of the bed.

She leaned over to do the straps, but Liam held up a hand. He knelt, taking one of her feet into his lap. Once they were buckled, she started to stand, but he stopped her. She tilted her head, eyebrows raised in question. “Originally, I’d planned this for the launch party, but it got a little bit too big.” Liam reached into the pocket of his suit coat and pulled out a small black box.

“Liam,” Zayn gasped as he popped open the box, displaying a delicate silver ring with a black onyx heart surrounded by tiny diamonds.

“Every time I’ve ended up sprawled in front of you, probably from that very first day in the park, I couldn’t help thinking, ‘I'd get down on my knees for you.’ So, after four years and hundreds of falls, I finally decided it was time to do it for real. I love you, Zayn Malik, with every inch of my being, and I would be absolutely thrilled if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife.”

Zayn’s eyes filled with tears as she nodded, holding out her trembling left hand for Liam to slide the ring onto. As soon as the ring was in place, she pulled him to his feet, laying her hand on his cheek, admiring the sparkle of the ring as she leaned into a kiss.

“Are you done?” Niall’s voice spoke from the doorway, and they broke apart on a laugh, Zayn burying her face into Liam’s neck. “Alright then. Come on, guys!”

Soon, Louis, Harry, and Niall joined them in the room passing around glasses filled with champagne until everyone held one. Zayn stood next to Liam, their free arms wrapped around each other, as Zayn leaned into him. Liam pressed a kiss to her cheek as they listened to their friends talk about their relationship, Louis taking full credit for everything.

When it was Zayn’s turn, she stayed silent for a long time before beginning to speak of true love and how she knew that's what she had with Liam from the first time he fell at her feet. Liam felt his face flush as their friends’ laughter surrounded him. However, he felt nothing but pride when he saw the ring on Zayn's finger catch the light.

When Zayn was done speaking, the four turned to Liam expectantly.

He smiled, blinking back tears as he thought about the woman he loved and the two words he'd had engraved to the inside of her ring. He raised his glass. “Let's have another toast to the Girl Almighty!”

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Illusion by @weighted-orange​ Pairing: Girl!Harry/Girl!Liam Rating: T

Liam never really understood sunsets before Harry. She’d thought they were pretty, is all. The kind of thing you glance up at once in a while. The kind of thing that was for backdrops in cheesy movies, or used as a metaphor in the kind of novels she’d read for GCSE English. She didn’t think they were for real people.

Then again, sometimes she’s not quite sure that Harry is a real person.

Harry has an alarm set on her phone to go off in this dreamy sort of tune a couple of minutes before the sun is scheduled to set. She checks the forecast for it every morning between sips of tea, when they’re both bleary eyed and quiet, before either of them have really opened up to the thought of a new day; Harry is already making sure she doesn’t miss the close of it.

They’re not posh enough to have a real view. Mostly it’s just of the neighbour’s dustbins, and Roofcat, their neighbour’s black tabby that never seems to go back inside, always wanders lazily along the edge of the roof opposite them. Above that, though, they’ve got this sliver of sky cut with two power lines. Liam can always find Harry here as the day draws to a close, chin tilted up, eyes wide and trained on the changing sky.

This evening, Liam joins Harry with steaming mugs of tea. She arrives just as the clouds start to stain the softest orange at the edges, and she settles herself on the rough concrete, cold through the thin fabric of her panama bottoms. Harry’s got her long legs all tangled, chin resting on her knees, fingertips absently tracing the tattoos across her ankles. Her forehead pressed to the robust iron railings. Their tea sits quietly beside.

“What are you doing?” says Liam, quietly. She can’t help the smile when Harry turns to blink at her like she’s been caught midway through an intense train of thought.

“Oh,” says Harry, a little smile starting at the sight of Liam’s. Liam likes that, that they can make each other happy so easily. “If you put your forehead right in the middle of the railing, you can see the whole sky without anything in the way.”

Liam laughs, scooting a little closer to the edge of the balcony to press her forehead to the railing, looking up to witness the water colour stain of pink lighting the strip of sky between the dark lines of the two buildings. “You’re right,” says Liam. “You’re so smart.” It should sound like a joke. Half the time Harry is too ridiculous for anything you say to her not to be a joke. It never comes out quite right for Liam, though.

Liam glances over to see Harry smiling at her again, dimples appearing. Harry’s got her hair up in two haphazard space buns, and all the little flyways look unfairly pretty in the evening light, even though she’s got spot cream on her chin. Harry reaches over and pokes Liam’s thigh in lieu of saying anything, before turning back to watch the sky, fingers curling around her mug to take a slow sip.

Harry watches the sky, and Liam watches Harry.

———

“You owe me six pounds for this,” says Harry, shaking the box of hair dye in front of Zayn’s face. Liam sits on the bathroom floor, back against the frosted glass of the shower, a packet of crisps in her lap.

In the reflection of the mirror, Liam can see Zayn roll her eyes. “We’ll see about you getting paid once I see the dye job.”

Harry frowns, as if insulted that Zayn would doubt her.

“That’s fair,” says Liam easily, just so see Harry pout.

“I’ll show you,” says Harry, pulling on the gloves. She forgets to hold a grudge the moment she opens the box. “Christ, Zayn, are you sure?” she says, pulling out the dye.

“You were the one who talked me into this,” says Zayn, shifting to eye Harry over her shoulder. Their bathroom is quite small, there’s not much room for manoeuvring properly.

“I know,” says Harry, looking so worried that Liam starts to doubt how well this is going to go.

“You said you’ve done this before,” says Zayn, eyebrows raised.

“I have, sometimes it doesn’t go very well!”

Liam can see real panic in Zayn’s eyes.

“Alright,” Liam says finally, pushing the crisps off her lap and standing up. She reaches above Harry to prop open the skylight, and then rests a steadying hand on Zayn’s shoulder. “Has that got any instructions in it?”

Harry pulls them out and hands them over, still looking a bit worried. Liam wants to brush her thumb over the furrows in her brow. She doesn’t - Zayn is watching them nervously in the mirror’s reflection.

“So,” says Liam, “I’ll read these, so all Harry has to worry about is being careful with your hair.” Liam peers down at the instructions. “First, put the gloves on.”

Harry does as she’s told, pinching one of Zayn’s cheeks quickly once they’re on to make Zayn squawk. “Be serious, please,” says Liam mildly. Harry smiles at her, endlessly distracting, until Liam realises that they’re both waiting for the next instruction. “Oh,” she says, looking down at the booklet, “You’ve got to be careful, yeah? ‘Cause you’re only doing a bit of her hair. You’ve got to section it off.”

“Where do you want it, Zayn?” says Harry gamely, running her gloved fingers through the ends of Zayn’s hair. “I think here would look nice.” She sections off a piece of hair just a little ways back from where the ends of Zayn’s blunt cut frame her face.

Zayn tilts forward a bit, brows furrowed like she’s trying to imagine it, fingers coming up to fuss with the strands in that nervous way she has when she’s thinking too much.

“It’s going to look too naff, isn’t it,” Zayn says, eyes shifting between them.

“No, it’s not,” says Harry.

“If you really don’t want to, Zee-“ starts Liam, but Harry cuts her off with an arm around Liam’s shoulders and a hand over her mouth. Liam quiets, content to let them talk it out.

“Zayn,” says Harry, quite seriously, “Look me in my eyes.”

Zayn’s mouth is pinched, and she untangles her hair from Harry’s fingers. “Haz-“

“Malik, are you looking in my eyes?” Harry doesn’t look threatening in the way she might like to think she does. Instead, Liam can see the way Zayn relaxes, smile softening at the corners of her eyes. Liam skates her fingertips over Harry’s wrist until Harry’s hand slips from her mouth and her arm rests comfortably around Liam’s shoulders. Liam threads their fingers together, rubbing her thumb over the powdery rubber gloves.

“I’m looking,” says Zayn, with a reluctant little sigh, which means she’s already given over to Harry’s way of thinking.

“This will not be a mistake,” says Harry seriously. Zayn doesn’t look completely convinced, but she looks like she doesn’t mind either way anymore, content to just let Harry be Harry, and do what she wants with Zayn’s hair. Harry is not satisfied. “Say it.”

“This won’t be a mistake,” says Zayn, managing to make it sound contrary.

“Liam?” says Harry, looking at her expectantly. Liam winds her arm around Harry���s waist, letting herself fit to the warmth of Harry’s side.

“You’ll be fine,” says Liam. “You’ll look gorgeous anyway, even if it does end up looking like you’ve got a banana hanging from your scalp.” It sounds like she’s joking, but she’s actually not.

Harry nods, looking serious. Zayn groans.

“You lot are no help,” says Zayn, “stop cuddling and do my hair.”

Liam grins, nosing softly at Harry’s shoulder for a moment, Harry’s hand fingertips brushing her hip as they pull apart.

“You’re singlehandedly going to make the blonde streak relevant again,” says Harry, determination showing in the set of her jaw.

“It was never relevant,” Zayn sighs, settling into the chair, but not before demanding that Liam pass her the crisps. “Moral support,” Zayn declares, settling them on her lap.

“I thought that’s what I was here for,” says Liam.

“I don’t feel very morally supported,” says Zayn, stuffing a handful of crisps into her mouth.

“That’s alright,” says Harry, stuffing her mouth full of bobby pin ends while she concentrates on carefully pinning Zayn’s hair, “you can be mine.”

“Alright,” says Liam, “I’ll be yours, then.” She ducks her head to read over the instructions again. She hopes no one glances up to see the blush rising in her cheeks.

———

“Liam!” shouts Harry into the phone. Liam has to hold it away from her ear for a moment.

“Hello, Harry,” she replies, in a normal tone of voice. She’s already smiling, cheeks warming from Harry’s excitement alone. Christ, she’s gone for her.

“Guess what,” says Harry. She sounds a bit breathless, like she’s been running.

Liam sits up a little more from where she’d been curled up on the couch with her laptop on her stomach, watching youtube videos. “You got the job?”

There’s some incomprehensible yelling from Harry’s end, which sounds more excited than a call for help - or at least that’s what Liam tells herself. “Harry?”

There’s some more noises, and then the call ends abruptly.

A few seconds later, there’s the sound of the elevator arriving at the landing, and the furious jingle of keys as someone tries to open the door. Harry comes bursting in, phone in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other, ring of keys dangling from where she’s got them between her teeth. She makes a muffled sound through her keyring that might be words. Liam marvels sometimes at the way Harry can look endlessly glamorous, and then do things like this.

Harry lets the keys drop from her mouth, where they land at her feet. “Forgot there’s no signal in the elevator.” She follows Liam’s gaze down to the dropped keys. “Sorry,” she says, “I’ll pick them up.”

“You can pay people to do that now, I think.”

Harry laughs, loud and beautiful, and Liam’s breath catches quietly for a second. A moment later, she’s got a lapful of Harry Styles, and is breathless for a different reason - namely an elbow to the stomach. Liam gathers her up into a hug, and Harry laughs out of happiness, curling against her, bottle of wine clutched to her chest.

“What’s that for, then,” says Liam.

Harry shifts to settle against Liam properly, but they’re tangled up wrong. “Celebrating,” says Harry. She shifts off Liam, and arranges both their limbs until they can fit together comfortably. Harry lets out a little sigh of contentment.

“I’ve got a job,” she says, running her hands over Liam’s bare legs on either side of her. Liam winds her arms around Harry’s waist and rests her chin on Harry’s shoulder.

“You’re proper responsible,” says Liam. “An upstanding citizen.”

Harry grins. Liam can see the curl of her smile in profile. She kisses Harry’s cheek and Harry laughs. God, Liam loves her quite a lot. She smells like that expensive perfume she used to always steal off Zayn before Zayn just bought it for her for Christmas. She’s got her hair in two french braids that Liam had done for her this morning, sharing a piece of toast with Harry, bite by bite, trying to make Harry stay still long enough to finish putting the hairbands in.

“I’m proud of you, babe,” says Liam. Harry drops a kiss on Liam’s cheek in return.

“Thanks,” she says, and then wiggles forward to grab the bottle of wine from where she’d put it on the table. “Now I have a steady flow of income, you don’t ever have to worry about me turning down the heating again.”

“I knew that was you,” says Liam, “you’re such a twat.”

“Liam!” says Harry, turning in her lap to face her.

“The landlord, my arse! You’ve been bloody sneaking around, turning down the heating so you don’t have to pay the bill,” Liam says, pulling Harry closer. Even if she’s a bit miffed about having to wear thick jumpers around the flat for the last few months, she can’t help but miss Harry when she doesn’t get to touch her.

“I did it for us,” Harry insists, but she’s giggling.

“You’re a terror,” says Liam, lacing their fingers together.

Harry ignores her with a smile, fitting the bottle of wine between her thighs and popping open the top.

“Harry, its four in the afternoon.” says Liam.

“Five o’clock somewhere,” says Harry, which is largely redundant, because its 5pm the next timezone over. “We don’t have to drink the whole thing. It’s screw top.”

“Oh that’s all right then,” Liam says, “if it’s a screw top.”

“You’re a screw top,” says Harry.

Liam pouts until Harry apologises, passing her the bottle of wine.

“You can have the first sip.”

Liam sighs, and accepts the offered bottle.

“Alright,” she says, “just this once.” They both know she’s lying.

*

A few hours later, they’re bundled up in the soft blanket Harry has draped over her bed. They’re sitting on one of the chairs they have out there, on their balcony. Liam had gone to sit in a separate one, like a normal person, but Harry had pouted until Liam came to squish in beside her, too many elbows and knees tucked up under the thick purple blanket.

“I’m so lucky,” Harry says quietly. Opposite, Roofcat lazes in the weak light of a London evening in the late autumn.

“It’s not luck,” says Liam. Her nose is cold, but Harry’s radiates warmth in the same way she seems to radiate light: effortlessly and in a way that should be intimidating, but it’s just soft - sweet, familiar. Liam tucks her nose against Harry’s neck. “You deserve this job, yeah? You’re perfect for it.”

Under the blanket, Harry’s fingers find their way under Liam’s top, curling into the softness at Liam’s hips. Harry’s cheek presses against hers and it feels like a quiet thank you.

“I mean,” says Harry, “I love home, obviously, but it’s not London, you know?” Harry talks even slower with alcohol in her veins. Liam knows that other people get annoyed by it, but Liam’s always appreciated Harry’s approach to life. There’s no hurry. They’re here. Liam never wants to be anywhere else.

“Yeah,” says Liam quietly. They sky is gathering slowly, clouds moving across the sky with a purpose, pushed by the wind. They’re sheltered here, in the lee of the breeze. In the block of flats across from them, someone’s TV is on. There’s washing put out to dry on the balcony opposite.

“I just get a bit of both, I suppose. I get to work towards my dream job, get to have a home in Cheshire, and a home here.” Harry pauses, looking up at their line of sky. “Get to have you.” It sounds like a question, so Liam hums an affirmation against Harry’s skin. “Lucky,” says Harry.

Harry always gets romantic after half a bottle of red wine. She means it, Liam knows. Harry is in love with life, in love with love. In love with the sunset, and beautiful things, and Liam’s friendship.

The blanket starts to slip, and Harry’s hands leave Liam’s hips to curl around the blanket. She taps the cross tattoo at the curve of the inside of her thumb. “Feels like too much, almost.”

Liam feels a little out of control. It feels like they’re skirting something too big. Too real. She’s too warm from the wine and the steady weight of Harry’s body curled against hers in the chair.

Liam can smell the deep warmth of wine on Harry’s exhales when Harry talks. “I’ve been thinking about the nights I used to lie awake and think about what kind of future I would have. I’d try to plan it. Wanted to sing, or have famous friends, you know? Wanted to be someone.”

Liam thinks about how ridiculously cliche it would be to say ‘you are someone’. She is neither as drunk or a sober as she wishes she was.

“I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, though, Li,” says Harry, nudging her nose against Liam’s cheek. For a blinding moment, Liam thinks Harry might kiss her, but it passes.

“Such a sap,” says Liam, softly. Harrys quiet phone alarm goes off just as light starts to gather, pink, around the dark outline of the roof opposite. Dimly, Liam can still hear Harry’s Britney playlist going on in the background, left on from when they had a bit of a celebratory dance around the kitchen.

They sit quietly and watch the sunset. Liam watches Harry. Watches the changing light play over the dip and curve of her chin, the line of her brow bone.

They stay there for an age - long past the fade of sunlight, until Liam knows that there must be stars hidden beyond the dark layer of light pollution from the buzz of London streets. She finds eventually that Harry has fallen asleep on her shoulder.

She nudges Harry awake carefully. “Bed?” she suggests, strangely wide awake, despite the fact that it feels so late. Harry hums her consent, content to let Liam rearrange her limbs and pull her inside, into the warmth of their flat. “Isn’t life better with the heat on?” says Liam, cheeky. Harry grunts, pressing herself to Liam’s back with her arms looped around Liam’s shoulders so that they have to waddle together towards Harry’s room.

“Carry me,” mumbles Harry.

“Can’t,” says Liam, not unkindly. “You’re a giraffe.”

Harry looks sleepily affronted. “We’re the same height.” She lifts her leg to wind it awkwardly around Liam’s waist, letting more of her weight drop onto Liam’s hips, her shoulders.

“Hazza,” sighs Liam, fingers pulling without much conviction at Harry’s wrists.

“Liam” whines Harry. They’re about ten steps away from Harry’s bedroom.

“C’mon then, you great lump,” huffs Liam. Harry laughs, subdued from the edge of sleep in her voice, and jumps onto Liam, clinging to her like a koala, leaning her head on Liam’s shoulder. It takes a moment for them both to get sorted, Liam’s arm coming to support the tight grip of Harry’s thighs around her waist. She stumbles a bit, but gets her balance enough to make her way through the door to Harry’s bedroom, and deposit her in an undignified heap on the bed.

Harry sprawls out, eyes closed as she fumbles for the button on her jeans. Lifts her hips and pushes them down around her thighs. “Liam,” she pouts, and Liam giggles, fingertips grazing the stubble on Harry’s thighs to tug her jeans down, almost falling on her arse when they come off Harry’s feet. Liam pulls Harry’s socks off too as Harry tugs of her top, rolling onto her tummy to present Liam with her bra clasp.

“Lazy,” remarks Liam. Harry hums in agreement, tugging her bra off and throwing it across the room when Liam’s done. She’s sprawled half on the bed, fading tan washed out under the soft gaze of the moon through the blinds. The line of her back is so lovely. Liam catches herself halfway through reaching out to run her fingertips down Harry’s spine.

“Are you staying?” mumbles Harry, eyes still closed, cheek smudged against the sheets.

Liam thinks of her empty bed, feels a bit sad at the thought of cold sheets and no company. No Harry.

“Yeah, go on,” says Liam, “let me get you a top.”

Harry groans. Liam catches the shift in her shoulders as Harry starts to turn around, and she pulls her eyes to Harry’s dresser, tugs out one of her own tops from last year’s volleyball team. She doesn’t make a comment about Harry adopting her top, because it’s nothing Liam herself hasn’t done before. She chucks it at Harry without really looking, and pulls off her own jeans, to the sound of Harry’s obnoxious whistle. Liam glances down at her pants, to find a lacy black pair. She rolls her eyes, feels her cheeks heat, and shakes her arse a bit as she rummages through Harry’s drawers for another top, just to hear Harry’s delighted laugh.

Harry continues to make noises of appreciation as Liam gets undressed, and pulls on one of Harry’s tops. “Shut it,” says Liam, smiling. She tugs the hairband out of her hair, runs her fingers through her braid to loosen it. She knows Harry hasn’t put on the top yet.

“Liam,” says Harry, suddenly quieter. Liam doesn’t turn. “Liam.”

“What,” says Liam, heat rolling in the depths of her stomach. Her heart thumps disconcertingly in her chest. Christ, Liam thinks, Christ.

“Turn around,” Harry says, in that same tone. Liam doesn’t know what it means. She runs her fingers through her hair again, turns. Harry’s lying up against the pillows with the rumpled top just covering her chest. Liam was right, she hasn’t put it on yet, and the the wings of the birds tattooed across her ribs are just visible. Her pants cling to the softness at her hips, and her legs are long and ridiculous, toes curled into the bedspread, dimpled grin on her face as she takes Liam in. “Are we gonna shag?” she says abruptly.

It startles Liam into laughter, and she takes a little running jump onto the bed, landing next to Harry with a huff, and digs her fingers into Harry’s sides until Harry shrieks and squirms away, laughter in her voice.

They lie there for a few moments, once Harry has recovered. They’re grinning at each other, sharing the same wide pillow. Harry has ridiculous pillows. Huge, and soft and enough to disappear into.

Harry breaks the silence. “Are we gonna shag now?”

Liam lets out another laugh, shifting properly onto her back to look away from Harry. “Tart,” she accuses with a smile, glancing over to see Harry’s answering one.

“You didn’t wear those for me?” says Harry, fingertips skating the exposed skin of Liam’s tummy, above the edge of Liam’s pants. Liam suddenly feels hot all over, but she curls her fingers into the pillowcase, eyes on Harry, smiling like it’s a joke. Maybe it is. It doesn’t quite feel like one.

“No,” says Liam lightly. Harry’s hand falls to the mattress between them. Her smile turns soft.

“Shame,” she says.

Liam hums, and then shifts onto her side, away from Harry. “Night,” she says, reaching behind her blindly to pinch Harry’s still-bare tummy to hear her squawk. “Put your top on.”

She hears Harry’s huff, and then the rustle of her doing as she’s told. There’s a few moments of silence, and then Harry pokes her sharply in the back.

“Cuddle me,” Harry demands, voice rough with the pull of sleep, and Liam couldn’t say no even if she wanted to. A little smile curls at her mouth and she turns to wind her arms around Harry’s waist, happy to have Harry settle back against her. Her fingers spread over Harry’s stomach, holding her through the soft cotton of her top.

“Congrats on the job, babe,” says Liam, nose pressed between Harry’s shoulder blades, just below the nape of her neck.

“Thanks, Li,” says Harry, fingertips tracing the back of Liam’s hand. There’s a soft pause. “Night,” says Harry. There’s a smile hidden in drag of her voice.

“Night, Haz,” says Liam, dropping a light kiss to the skin just above the scooped neck of the top. It feels all at once too vulnerable, and too safe. Harry exhales a sweet little sigh, and settles further into the pillow, finds her place in Liam’s arms.

They fall asleep like that, legs tangled, moon quiet behind the open slats of the blinds.

———

The next morning, Liam stops abruptly on the way to the laundromat, and has a small crisis on a street corner.

She pulls out her phone, and presses Zayn’s name with cold fingers. It rings four or five times before Zayn finally picks up.

“What,” says Zayn, when she answers. She’s still annoyed about the disaster Harry made of dying her hair. Somehow that annoyance extends to Liam, who hadn’t even touched the hair dye, thank you very much.

“Hi,” says Liam, feet shifting on the pavement as she accidentally catches the eyes of someone walking by. She ducks her head, and toes at a piece of gum, blackened and melded into the concrete.

There must be something in her voice - maybe it’s the blind panic - but Zayn softens. “What’s up, babe?”

“Where are you?” says Liam, worrying her bottom lip.

“Hairdresser,” says Zayn, flat, but not unkind.

“Oh,” says Liam, “sorry.”

“S’alright,” says Zayn, “are you okay?”

Liam sighs, trying to sort it all out in her head before making an awful mess of it out loud. She thinks she has it all organised, but instead she says: “I’m in love with Harry.”

Zayn hums in agreement.

“Zayn.”

“We both knew that already, babe,” says Zayn, the hint of a smile in her voice.

Liam huffs, leaning back against the grotty wall of a building. “It’s quite bad,” she says finally, “it’s a bit of a mess.”

“What happened?” says Zayn patiently. There’s a voice in the background, and then Zayn says: “Sorry babe, d’you mind if I put you on speaker? I’ve got someone trying to do my hair.”

“Sorry,” says Liam again, sounding a bit miserable, “yeah, go on, might as well.”

“This is my hairdresser,” says Zayn, apologetically.

“Hello,” comes a second, brighter voice. “I’m Niall.” Liam feels a bit hectic.

“Hello, Niall,” says Liam. She can’t decide if she wants to break down, or laugh at the situation she’s got herself into now.

“You’ve made a bit of a mess of Zayn’s hair, haven’t you,” says Niall cheerfully.

“That was my friend, actually,” says Liam, regretful as she adjusts her scarf, fingers looping through the knot nervously.

“Harry,” clarifies Zayn.

“Ah,” says Niall, “go on then.”

“I just-“ Liam starts, frustrated, “I don’t know if she knows or not. I feel like she must. She must, yeah? I’m not exactly - Christ, I’m not exactly good at hiding it, am I?”

Zayn says nothing, which means she agrees. Liam barrels on, regardless. “She keeps - you know, she keeps saying these things yeah, and sometimes I’m all caught up in her, and I’ll think it’s just me, and then she’ll do something, and I think, you know, well maybe it’s not? Maybe it’s not just me? But maybe it is? Fuck.” She presses her hand against her forehead like it will help her get her thoughts in order. “Last night we shared a bottle of wine, ‘cause she got that job at the gallery she was after,” says Liam.

“Good on her,” says Zayn, she sounds just as proud as Liam has been feeling.

“Yeah,” says Liam. “She’s brilliant.”

There’s a pause, and then Liam groans. “See?” she says, “completely bloody gone on her.”

Zayn lets out a soft laugh, which makes Liam feel a bit better.

“So last night,” continues Liam, “we were out watching the sunset, an’ that.”

“Romantic,” says Niall.

Liam presses her fingers to the furrow in her brow.

“Only a bit,” she can hear Zayn say, “it’s a Harry thing.”

“Exactly!” says Liam. A woman gives her an odd glance as she passes by. Liam can’t find it in herself to feel embarrassed beyond what’s happening already. “Well, except she said she’s the happiest she’s ever been.”

Liam pauses to let that sink in.

“Because of you, or the job?” says Zayn.

“I don’t know!” says Liam, exasperated. “Both, probably, but I’m a significant factor!”

“Li, babe,” says Zayn, “calm down a bit, yeah?” Liam takes a steadying breath. “Is that it? You’re a little worked up, love.”

Liam glares at the sidewalk. She acknowledges that she’s probably a bit dramatic over this.

“She’s so-“ says Liam, and then can’t come up with a single word to describe her.

“Ridiculous?” offers Zayn.

Liam lets out a breath, smile working it’s way reluctantly onto her face. “Yeah.” There’s another pause. “She also suggested we have sex.”

“What?” says Zayn sharply. She hears another noise, which might have been a gasp from Niall. “You are getting way too into this, mate,” Zayn admonishes.

“Who, me?” says Liam.

“Nah, meant Niall.”

“Sorry,” says Niall, but Liam can hear the accompanying smile. “This is better than Made in Chelsea.”

“Is not,” says Zayn, who watches the show religiously with her flatmate, Louis.

“Can you lot just-“ Liam huffs, “she asked if I wanted to shag, and she wasn’t serious. I don’t think.”

“You never can tell, with Harry, if I’m honest,” says Zayn.

“That’s the thing,” says Liam, despairing. “I don’t think she meant it, but believe me, if I thought she did, I would have in a second.”

Zayn sighs. “I just don’t know, babe. Maybe,” she hesitates, “maybe you should just tell her?”

Panic crawls settles over the back of Liam’s tongue, and she makes an embarrassing little noise deep in her throat.

“I know,” says Zayn. Just the tone of her voice is enough to calm Liam down a bit. “Harry loves you either way, yeah? It’s either that, or tell her you need some space.

Liam’s shaking her head before Zayn even finishes the thought. “That would be a disaster.”

“For both of you, yeah,” says Zayn. “You’ve got to tell her, babe.”

Liam swallows. She’s standing on a street corner with a bag of laundry in one hand, looking like a loon.

“Yeah,” she says. She thinks she might have come to that conclusion already, before she’d even called Zayn. “You’re right. You’re always right, Zee.”

Zayn lets out a pleased little laugh. “Love you, Li.”

“Love you, too,” says Liam. It comes out far too earnest, but then again, it always has.

“Bye Liam,” says Niall. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” says Liam, her smile nervous, but genuine. “It was nice meeting you.”

Niall lets out a pleased laugh. “You, too.”

Liam hangs up, and bites her lip when she realises her hands are shaking a bit. “Christ,” she mutters, and then takes a deep breath, and looks both ways before she crosses the road to the laundromat.

———

Liam’s phone vibrates loudly in her bag for the fifth time during the lecture. The speaker pauses pointedly for a moment, before continuing, and Liam’s face burns. She shifts her bag into her lap as quietly as she can, rummaging for her phone.

Four missed calls from Harry, and another coming through now. Liam’s stomach plummets. She glances around. There’s a boy looking at her curiously over her shoulder, and the girl next to her pauses in the midst of her intricately drawn doodles to look up and make slightly awkward eye contact with Liam. Liam raises her eyebrows in an expression that she hopes comes across as a wordless, polite ‘excuse me, but this is really urgent’ look. The girl blinks, and moves her bags out of the way for Liam to get by. Liam mutters a thank you as she passes.

The moment she’s out into the hallway, she calls Harry back, shifting her bag onto her shoulder and pushing the door to the courtyard outside open, so she can settle on one of the benches. Harry answers almost immediately.

“Liam,” she says, all in a rush that sounds too much like relief.

“Are you alright, what’s happened?” says Liam, her voice sounds too urgent.

“Why didn’t you call me back?” sniffs Harry. It sounds like she’s crying.

“I was in a lecture, I’m so sorry, Haz. Tell me what’s happened?”

“I’m sorry,” says Harry, miserably, “wasn’t thinking. Can you FaceTime?”

“Yeah,” says Liam “of course. I’ll call you back, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Harry’s face appears on Liam’s phone screen, face red, makeup smudged from tears. She sniffs again, wiping at the tear tracks on her cheeks, mascara smudging. She looks down at the black smeared across her knuckles. “I didn’t wear my waterproof,” she says, looking so deeply sad about that fact, that Liam’s heart breaks. “I didn’t think it would be so shit.”

Harry looks to be in a loo stall. Liam can’t quite make out the bit of graffiti behind her head, but she can make out that Harry is curled up on a toilet lid, crying her eyes out.

“Babe,” says Liam, “Hazza, talk to me, love.”

“My boss is a bitch,” says Harry vehemently, and Liam bites her lip. It’s not like Harry to be awful about someone. “She’s so mean.” Harry’s voice wavers, and Liam wants so badly to hug her.

“God, I’m sorry, Harry,” says Liam. “Wish I could give you a cuddle.”

Harry gives a watery smile. “You look pretty,” she says. “I like your top.”

Liam looks down at her outfit to see that she’s borrowed one of Harry’s. She lets out a little laugh. “Thanks, love,” she says.

“God,” whines Harry, “why can’t you just be here?”

“In a toilet with you?” says Liam, smiling despite the situation.

“Yes,” pouts Harry.

“Wish I could, too,” says Liam. The urge to hug Harry settles like an ache in her chest. “What time do you get off work?”

“Seven,” says Harry, and then her chin wobbles like that’s going to set her off again.

“That’s only…” Liam checks her phone screen, “four more hours.” It’s the best she can do. Harry doesn’t look reassured.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Li,” she says, voice small. “I thought this was going to be fun. I was so excited, I feel like an idiot.”

The thing about Harry, is that she gets a bit lost sometimes in her own emotions. “It’s only your first day,” says Liam gently. “You haven’t mucked it up yet.”

Harry wipes her eyes. “Yeah, not yet.” She smiles to show Liam that she’s not completely done with it all. “I’m just- it shocked me, you know? She doesn’t have to be so bloody rude.”

“I thought she was nice, you said after the interview that she was.” Liam tugs at her ponytail; it’s a nervous habit, one that Harry always tries to curb by curling her fingers around Liam’s wrist and linking their fingers together.

“That was Maggie,” says Harry, “she’s lovely, but she only does the interviews.”

“See,” says Liam, “at least one nice person works there.”

Harry smiles, and it’s so fond that Liam feels a bit ridiculous. “Yeah,” says Harry, “you’re right.”

“Just- maybe you can show her that you don’t have to be rude to get things done,” says Liam.

Harry sighs, her face doing something complicated. “You’re so noble, Liam,” she says finally.

“I- what?”

“No one says things like that in real life,” says Harry, smiling helplessly. Then she says: “I love you.”

For a moment Liam’s sure she loses control of her face, and then she pulls herself together. “You, too, Haz,” she says. “Fix up your mascara, yeah? And then get back out there.”

Harry’s smile is a little softer around the corners, smaller. “Yeah, alright.” She sniffs. “Does it look like I’ve been crying?”

“Yeah,” Liam can’t lie. “A bit. It’s alright, though, you look fine.”

“Fine?” prompts Harry.

“Fit,” supplies Liam dutifully, “amazing, gorgeous, goddess-like.”

Harry laughs - the real kind, with her head thrown back and her eyes squeezed shut.

“I’ll pick you up,” says Liam, idea only just forming in her head. “At seven, when you’re off. I’ll pick you up, yeah?”

“Yeah, alright,” says Harry. “I love you,” she says again.

“You, too,” says Liam, and then hangs up too quickly. She stares down at her home screen for a moment, feeling like a twat until a text from Harry pops up: see you at 7 with a row of smiley faces behind it. Liam takes a deep breath, and only then notices that it’s far too cold to be sitting around outside without a jacket.

She picks up her bag, and thumbs the phone app open to make another call as she heads back inside.

*

Harry almost vaults into the car when Liam pulls up, throwing herself across the gear shift to press her chin into Liam’s shoulder and cling to her shoulders in a hug.

“Hey Haz,” says Liam softly, pressing her face into Harry’s neck and curling an arm around the small of her back. They pull back after a bit, but Harry laces their fingers together, squeezing Liam’s hand in a quiet thank you. “How was it?”

Harry sighs. “You’re right,” she says, “it’s a huge step towards my dream job, and the gallery is beautiful, and I’ve met lots of nice people. Just because my boss is terrible, doesn’t mean I’m going to give up this opportunity.” Her jaw is locked with the kind of vulnerable determination that makes Liam want to kiss the breath out of her.

“I never said any of those things,” points out Liam.

“No,” says Harry, “but it’s what you would have said, if you’d known everything, so.” She smiles at Liam, leaning over again to kiss her cheek. Liam’s flushes all the way down to her chest, she can feel it.

“Maybe,” she says. “I’m proud of you.”

“I’m proud of me, too,” says Harry with a gorgeous flash of a smile, squeezing Liam’s hand again before pulling away to check her makeup in the mirror. She thumbs at a smudge on the glass. “Whose car is this?”

“Zayn’s flatmate.”

“Louis?” says Harry, “he let you borrow his car?” She looks incredulous, Liam can understand.

“It’s important,” says Liam. “Zayn talked him into it.”

Harry’s brow wrinkles. “Where are we going?”

“There’s this amazing spot,” says Liam as she pulls out of the parking spot, “to watch the sun set.”

Liam almost crashes the car when Harry shouts her name.  

“What,” she says, recovering from a near heart attack.

“Liam,” says Harry again, much calmer this time, and when Liam looks over to her, she looks absolutely devastated in the best way possible when she smiles. “I love you,” says Harry. Liam’s tummy dips and she can’t decide if the sensation is good or not.

“There’s pizza in the back,” says Liam, because she can’t work out what else to say.

Harry takes a peek between them where she sees the Dominos pizza box in the back seat. She groans obnoxiously loudly, and throws her arms out wide. “You, Liam Payne” she says, grinning, “are perfect.”

Liam would die for that smile, she swears.

*

It’s alright, until the traffic hits.

“Sorry,” says Liam, like she can clear up the endless stretch of cars on the road in front of them. “I’m really sorry, Haz.”

“It’s okay,” says Harry. It almost fools Liam, but not quite. “It’s really not your fault. It’s probably me, bringing along all the bad luck.”

“That’s silly,” says Liam. On the radio, someone’s talking about an accident about a mile up the road from where they are. The lanes of cars they’re stuck in haven’t moved for the past ten minutes. A man opens the door of one of the cars adjacent to them, and gets out to stretch. Liam turns the engine off with a frown. “I’m not giving up,” she warns, “it’s just that I’m paying his petrol.”

“It’s alright,” Harry says again, “Liam, it’s okay. We can just watch it from here.”

Liam bites her lip. “I feel terrible. You’ve had a shit day, and now you’re having a shit time in a traffic jam. Christ, you’re going to miss your sunset.”

“I’m not having a shit time,” says Harry defiantly, “you’re here, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Liam concedes, “and we have Dominos in the back.”

“Perfect,” says Harry, “we can eat that now, while we wait.” She takes in the expression on Liam’s face, and hesitates.

“Or,” says Harry, “we could wait, and eat it at wherever it is we’re going.”

Liam immediately feels guilty for whatever was showing on her face that made Harry change her mind. “We should eat it now,” she says.

“No,” says Harry, with a soft smile. “I’d much rather we eat it later, actually. Do it properly.”

“Okay,” says Liam, “if you’re sure.”

“I am,” says Harry, propping her feet up against the windshield, worn boots against the faded blue of the sky.

They pass the time singing along to the radio, and Liam watches the tension seep away from Harry’s shoulders, watches the curl of her smile become easier, softer.

“I love you,” says Harry again as the clock reaches 7:24 pm. She says it effortlessly.

Liam wishes she could accept it with the same ease, but something about it is different, somehow. Different enough for there to be a question on her face when Harry says it for the sixth time that evening alone.

“What?” says Harry. Something stubborn flashes across her expression.

“Nothing,” says Liam. Orange is seeping into the edges of the clouds above, but it’s gone mottled where the windscreen is tinted blue.

In Harry’s pocket the dreamy sound of her alarm goes off. Liam’s stomach sinks. She had still been holding onto a bit of hope.

“Here is fine, Li,” says Harry, “it’s nice.”

It’s not, particularly, but Liam doesn’t want to kick up a fuss and ruin everything further. She tilts her head back for a moment, only because she thinks she might cry. Instead, she blinks at the ceiling of the car. “Hang on,” she says, and unbuckles, crouching awkwardly to open she skylight at the top of the car. With a bit of effort, it slides away until there’s a whole new chunk of sky above their heads.

She looks to Harry, a bit proud of her discovery, but Harry still has the twist of a frown in her expression. Liam’s not entirely sure what she’s done wrong.

“Go on, then,” says Liam. Harry unbuckles, and kneels up, twisting until she can get a good enough angle to pop her head up through the open section of the roof. It’s a bit odd, having just her legs in the car. Liam almost gets kicked in the face as Harry gets enough leverage to swing herself up and sit on the edge of it, long legs dangling.

“Sorry,” says Harry, smiling down at Liam, a bit sheepish, “did I kick you?”

“No,” says Liam, “you’re alright.”

“Come up,” says Harry, insistent. “C’mon, Li, its so pretty.” There’s that little bit of dreamy wonder in her tone at the spread of the sunset in front of them.

Liam gets jabbed by Harry’s bony knees a couple times as she tries to wiggle her way up through the skylight. She finally manages to sit up opposite Harry, their knees pressed together, palms on the cool roof of the car. “It’s cold up here,” says Liam.

“Beautiful, though,” says Harry, eyes on Liam.

Liam looks up at the wild colours of the sunset streaking across the sky. “Yeah,” says Liam, “it’s amazing.” She can feel that wonder curl into her own voice, settle there like it has in Harry’s. “Wow.”

“Liam,” says Harry.

Liam’s attention is called back from the sky, to see that Harry’s still looking at her. Liam glances up again to check that the colours are all still there. She’s never seen Harry look away from a sunset.

“Alright?” says Liam, tentatively.

“Not really,” says Harry. “You haven’t said it back yet.”

“Um,” says Liam, “said what?” Harry’s mascara is still a bit smudged under one eye.

“That you love me.”

The whole sky is spread beyond Harry, over the tops of the cars, and the dark outlines of the trees that line the side of the road. Pink sweeps into deep red, traces of blue still flashing at the corners. Liam becomes aware that Harry must be able to see the sky behind her, too.

“Oh,” says Liam, “oh.” She wets her lips, suddenly wildly nervous. “I was going to take you on a date. I was trying to do it properly.”

A smile brightens Harry’s face. “Of course you were,” says Harry. “I love you.”

“Wait,” says Liam, “just- one moment.” She tilts forward over the space between them. She puts her hand on Harry’s thigh, wide eyes taking in the evidence of a blush on Harry’s cheeks before she nudges forward just slightly to bring their lips together. She can feel the hot breath Harry lets out just before their lips meet, like a little sigh.

They kiss like they’ve been waiting. Liam’s fingers curl into Harry’s thigh when leans into her, responsive and sweet. They barely manage to pull apart, Harry resting her forehead on Liam’s.

Liam’s eyes stay shut for a moment, the memory of the sunset around them imprinted on them, all tangled up in the memory of Harry’s kiss. “I love you,” she says.

She can feel Harry’s smile, tastes it. When she opens her eyes, Harry’s smiling so brightly she looks like she could float away from happiness, or maybe that’s just what’s in Liam’s own chest.

“We missed a bit of it,” says Liam. The sky is fading from a blushing pink to the softness of a twilight.

“That’s alright,” she doesn’t look the least bit worried. “There’ll be thousands more. I could see it, anyway. When I kissed you.”

“Yeah?” says Liam.

“Yeah,” says Harry.

Liam blinks up at the curve of the universe above them. Out here, they might be able to really watch the stars. “Thousands more?”

Harry reaches for Liam’s hand, where it’s still settled on her thigh. She tangles their fingers together. “Millions.”

“Millions,” says Liam. She knows she looks soft, knows everything about her says she’s in love - her posture, the tilt of her head, the curl of her smile. She knows because Harry’s looking back at her in exactly the same way, radiating the emotion beautifully, like she does everything else. “If you say so.”

“I do,” says Harry.

They kiss again, the entire sky behind their eyelids.

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Apologies for the lack of updates this weekend - it was a busy one for personal reasons. I will get back to posting fics tomorrow!

xo @1dlyricwheel

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Fireproof by @all4zayn Pairing: Zayn/Liam Rating: T

A rush of frigid December air whips around Zayn’s face as he stands outside the bar waiting for Louis to arrive, making him shiver in spite of his heavy coat and scarf. He takes one last drag of his cigarette before dropping the butt on the ground and putting it out with the toe of his heavy boot. He closes his eyes and leans against the wall, blowing a cloud of smoke up into the air. He hates waiting. It allows his brain to wander, a dangerous thing these days.

Luckily, Louis pulls up in his car just then and quickly jumps out smiling and waving at him.

“Yo, Zaynie! Bit early for ya, innit?” Zayn nods and waves back. He knows has a reputation for not arriving anywhere on time so he understands Louis’ surprise. He needs to stay busy so why not show up to work early, right?

Louis fumbles with the keys until he manages to unlock the door and goes inside with Zayn right behind him. Zayn takes off his coat and scarf while Louis disables the alarm and turns the lights on. He sits on one of the stools by the bar and waits for Louis to walk through the premises and back before bringing the subject up again.

“Ya hear anything yet?” he asks softly while looking down at his jeans and picking imaginary lint off them. Louis lets out a deep sigh, walks over and sits on a stool next to Zayn.

“Well, at least you’re getting better. You waited 2 whole minutes before getting into it, mate,” Louis says while patting him on the shoulder.

“I know, Lou. Shit. I’m sorry. It’s just - it’s been so long,” he replies sadly, rubbing a hand across his face. “I think I’m gonna lose my mind.”

“Hey, it’s okay. I get it,” Louis pats him on the back sympathetically. “I promise you Harry’s working on it, ok? He’s friends with his sisters but they’re keeping a tight lid on things since everything went down.”

“Yeah, I get it. I’m sorry to keep hounding you.  I just wish I could do something...can’t find him anywhere. Everything’s disabled, no phone, no nothing--” he chokes out before Louis stands up and pulls him into a tight embrace.

“It’s okay, Zee. We’ll find him, yeah? We’re gonna find him.”

“I miss him,” he breathes into his friend’s neck. “Want him back.”

***********

12 months earlier

It’s barely eleven o’clock yet Louis’ birthday party is in full swing, music blaring and a house full of happy drunks. Zayn’s got a nice buzz going himself and he’s debating whether he should switch to water now. He is currently sat on a sofa holding the drink Niall invented and looking at the birthday boy making a fool of himself on the makeshift dance floor in the living room.

Zayn had convinced his parents to let him spend the night here although not without a lecture on how they expected him to behave. It was nothing he hadn’t heard a thousand times before. He chuckles to himself as he imagines what would happen if his parents found out he’d been drinking...or that he had developed an affinity for smoking, too. All hell would break loose.

Yes, Zayn is keeping all sorts of things from his parents these days. He knows it’s terrible and he’s not proud of any of it. The smoking was mainly a stress reliever if he’s honest. He’s under a lot of pressure from his parents, always has been. They’ve made it quite clear they expect him to go to medical school and make them proud by becoming a respected doctor with the beautiful wife and perfect kids to match. Zayn knows he’s smart enough to do it but what’s eating him up inside is that he doesn’t want any part of it.

If it were up to him, his life would go in an entirely different direction. His dream is to become an artist, even making the mistake of saying that out loud to them once. They soundly rejected that idea and ridiculed him for even considering such a thing. Zayn knew this path would limit his earning potential and that it didn’t have the same prestige, but he didn’t care about any of that like his parents did. Art made him happy. It was the only time he felt free and able to express himself without using words. It felt right in a way that medicine didn’t and he had no idea of what he was going to do.

He sighs and takes another sip of the mystery cocktail, cringing at the bitter, unpleasant taste. It may be disgusting but it’s getting him nice and drunk, which is exactly what he wants. He doesn’t want to think about doing the right thing. He just wants to relax and have fun like everyone else at this party tonight.

Zayn allows his eyes to drift back to the dance floor. As bad as those other secrets are, they pale in comparison to the one that was currently dancing a few feet away from Zayn, and no, it’s not Louis. Two couples away from him actually was a veritable ticking time bomb that threatened to completely ruin his life - if he ever gave Zayn the time of day that is.

Liam. Liam Payne to be exact. Not only was he a boy but on top of that, he was the only son of Geoff Payne, who just happened to be Zayn’s father’s nemesis. Zayn doesn’t even really know why both men hate each other so much. As best as he can tell it seems to be some type of business deal gone wrong. Whatever the reason, the Maliks were expressly forbidden from associating with anyone from the Payne family. It hadn’t been too hard for Zayn considering Liam was quite popular around school, unlike him. Yeah, Zayn had friends but they were few and after Louis left for London to be a full-fledged grown-up with a job and shit, he was down by one.

Luckily, he still had Niall, who was solely responsible for Liam’s unexpected presence here tonight. Not that Zayn minded per se. Liam was fit as fuck but he didn’t need a reminder of what he couldn’t have. Hell, he’s pretty sure Liam was straight so it’s doubtful Zayn even had a shot. That’d be a blessing actually and would pretty much ensure that Zayn’s secret remained a secret. The thought of coming out to his parents was downright terrifying so he settled for admiring him from afar.

“Zayner! Stop brooding and get yer skinny arse over here!” Niall yells out before walking over to the couch and tugging on his arm trying to drag him towards the dance floor.

“Let go, you twat! You know I don’t dance!” he yells out while he yanks his arm out of Niall’s grip. “Even if I did wanna dance, m’ not dancing with you, mate, no fucking way!” he says with a laugh.

“It’s a fucking party! I know you don’t get out much but the whole point of a party is to have fun, not sit on the bloody sofa all night!” Niall protested as he tried to grab his arm again.

“Stop it!” Zayn said jerking his arm around and spilling some of his drink on his shirt. “Shit! Look what ya did!”

Niall laughs briefly before stopping and snapping his fingers. He points at Zayn and said “I know how to fix this!” before turning and walking back into the crowd.

Shaking his head, Zayn finishes what was left of his drink and sets the empty cup on a table. He’s in the middle of  inspecting his ruined shirt when he hears a deep voice say “Um, excuse me, Zayn?”

Zayn looks up and is met by a beautiful sight. Liam- who looked insanely hot in a simple pair of jeans, white t-shirt and tan work boots.

Zayn let’s go of his shirt quickly and stutters out a “Yeah, hey. Um, ‘sup?” Real smooth, Malik, he thinks to himself embarrassed.

Liam has the decency to look a bit nervous himself when he asks “ Niall said you wanted to talk to me about something?”

Zayn feels his face start to burn with embarrassment as he realizes what Niall was up to. He looks back at the crowd where he spots Niall and Louis who can barely contain their laughter at his predicament. At least he won’t have to worry about his parents after tonight since he’ll be in jail for murdering his two so-called friends.

He looks back at Liam and swallows nervously as he scrambles for something - anything- to say.

“Oh. Sorry, Liam. It’s nothing. Niall’s just being a dick. His idea of a joke.” Zayn feels hot all over and he’s sure his voice is shaky. “S’okay. Go back to your date.”

Liam visibly deflates and says “Oh. Well, okay then.” He starts to turn but stops suddenly and turns right back around.

“Actually, ‘m not here with a date. Um, do you mind if I sit with you for a bit? Could use a break,” he chuckles and flashes him a smile. Actually no, the word ‘smile’ doesn’t do it justice. It’s a thing of beauty is what it is, radiant and warm and downright irresistible.

Zayn’s heart rate speeds up and he feels lightheaded but quickly agrees.

“Sure, yeah. ‘Course. Sit.” He tries to remember why this is a very bad idea but all thoughts cease when, to Zayn’s surprise, Liam sits right up against him. Their legs are pressed against each other, which does nothing to calm the butterflies in his stomach and Zayn finds himself at a loss for words again. Alarms are going off in his brain but he doesn’t know what to do.

“So,” Liam starts with a shy smile, “Niall tells me you’re an artist?”

Zayn nods and smiles back, “Well, yeah but--”

“That’s so cool! Tell me about it.” Liam looks genuinely interested and he’s looking at him with those eyes and those lips that look like candy and Zayn finds that the little resolve he started out with completely fades away.

So Zayn tells him. He tells him everything and Liam listens.

Two hours later Zayn finds himself in a locked bedroom with a nervous but eager Liam pressing him against a door, full lips moving against his and large hands gripping possessively around his waist. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he hears those alarms ringing louder than ever. He chooses to ignore them.

*********************************

“Fuck!” Zayn curses as he slams his laptop shut in frustration. After updating the Facebook page he created specifically for Liam, he had spent the last half an hour fruitlessly looking for clues as to his whereabouts. He’s pretty sure his entire family has blocked him already and none of Liam’s friends were of any help. Still, he couldn’t help but try every time.

Louis walks out of the kitchen with two mugs in each hand and hands one to Zayn, who takes it gratefully.

He ruffles Zayn’s hair as he walks past him. “Sleep okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Zayn says unconvincingly and tries to give him some semblance of a smile.

“Those bags under your eyes tell a different story, mate,” he replies. “Niall’s coming up for a visit. We’re gonna do some Christmas shopping. Come with us.”

“I dunno, Lou. Don’t really feel up to it,” he replies meekly.

“All you do is work and obsess. Come with us. I insist, Malik,” Louis says in that familiar tone that means he won’t be taking no for an answer.

***

“Tommo! Let’s head to the food court yeah? All this shopping’s making me hungry,” Niall looks done with the whole shopping thing and frankly, so is Zayn. Food sounds like a really good idea about now.

“Yeah, sure. Let me just pay for this stuff and we’ll go eat,” he replies. The three of them walk up to the nearest register and stand in a line that luckily seems to be moving rather efficiently despite the crowds. They’re almost to the front when Zayn freezes suddenly and his face drops.

“Zayn, what’s wrong?” Louis asks with concerned eyes. Zayn just tilts his head in the direction of the register. Louis looks over and immediately sees the problem.

“Oh shit. Dammit,” he says with a sigh. “Zayn, it’s okay.”

“What’s going on?” Niall asks confused. Louis points his finger at the teddy bear sitting on the counter by the register.

“Are ya fucking kidding me!” Niall exclaims with a huff.

“I’ll wait for you guys outside,” Zayn says as he’s walking away. He refuses to cry in the middle of this department store. He turns and works his way through the crowds but it’s too late. The tears are coming already along with the memory.

******************

11 months earlier

Zayn can’t believe he turned eighteen today. So far his birthday has been nothing special. He has school and he just found out that Liam won’t be able to meet him at their spot at the park like they’d planned. His parents were making him go to some event at their church instead which has put Zayn in a foul mood. Liam looked even more upset than he felt but he promised to make it up to him somehow. Zayn knew it wasn’t his fault and had tried to kiss the pout off him before they both rushed to their next class.

Sneaking around with Liam these last couple of weeks has been equal parts exciting and frightening. Liam has lifted his spirits and brightened his life considerably. He was so kind, so gentle and so funny plus they both had so much in common. Zayn felt like he was being seen for the first time ever. The way Liam looked at him made him feel special and wanted.

He’s supposed to be reading in class right now but his mind wanders back to that night again. One minute they’re having a heart-to-heart on a sofa and the next minute it felt like someone turned up the heat in the room. They’d gone upstairs and ended up hooking up that night, the memory making Zayn’s body start to react.

“Mr. Malik.”

His teacher’s voice brings him back to the present and he looks up a bit flustered and confused.

“Were you planning on staying after school?”

Zayn looks around and realizes it’s time go home. He smiles sheepishly at his teacher and follows his classmates out the door.

****

Zayn couldn’t sleep that night. He hadn’t heard from Liam yet and he couldn’’t help feeling disappointed. Even his mum making his favorite meal wasn’t enough to cheer him up although he did get some good presents.

He’s finally drifting off when his phone buzzes on the table. He grabs it and sees that it’s a text from ‘Larissa’, a smile slowly spreading across his face. That’s the name he assigned Liam just in case his parents ever got a hold of his phone. Liam had done the same for him. He was Zoe on Liam’s phone. They both giggled when they did it although they both agreed that their parents were all being ridiculous with this silly feud.

The text read ‘go to your window’. He does as instructed and at first he sees nothing until his eyes adjust to the darkness. Suddenly he sees movement. It’s Liam and he’s climbing up the tree next to the house. He quickly unlatches the window and slides it open.

“Liam! What are you doing?” he whisper yells trying not to wake his parents or the neighbor’s dog. Liam has managed to climb all the way up rather effortlessly and Zayn has to admit he’s impressed - and a little turned on. Liam was now straddling the large branch that curved along the window, looking a bit too chuffed at his feat, and it was making him nervous. He turns on the lamp by the window to help guide Liam and only then realizes that he’s got his backpack with him. He gets as close as he can to the window and brings the backpack to the front, unzips it and pulls something out. It’s a teddy bear with a red ribbon around it’s neck. He holds it in one hand and stretches his arm out towards Zayn, handing it to him.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you earlier. Happy birthday,” he whispers and Zayn swears he sees a blush staining his cheeks but he can’t be sure.

“Are you crazy! You could break your neck. You shouldn’t be here--”

“Wanted to. Here, take it before your parents wake up. Gotta get back.” Zayn takes the teddy bear out of his hand. As soon as he does, Liam works his way back. He turns to look at a bewildered Zayn before he descends.

“G’night, babe.” He smiles and then he’s gone. Zayn hears the thump when he lands and then sees his figure running down the street.

Zayn stands there for a minute wondering if this really happened or if it was just a dream. He closes the window and lays back on his bed. He notices that wrapped around the teddy’s neck is a silver necklace with a steel Batman pendant. Smiling, he takes it and puts it around his neck, rubbing the cold steel between his fingers. There’s also an envelope tucked inside the ribbon. He opens it with shaky fingers and finds two tickets to the movies for next Saturday to watch the latest Star Wars movie. There’s a small card too. It reads

Roses are red Violets are blue I’ve seen this already But not with you

-L-

He barks out a laugh but his heart feels like it might burst with happiness. That’s when it hits him. He’s falling in love with a beautiful dork.

************************************

Zayn has just uploaded the video of him getting his first tattoo to his Facebook page. He hopes that when Liam reemerges this will show him everything he’s missed. In a way it helps Zayn, too. He likes to pretend that Liam is studying abroad somewhere and they’re merely doing the long-distance thing.

Suddenly he hears voices at the front door. He recognizes Louis and he thinks that might be Harry with him, Louis’ boyfriend. He’s about to get up to open the door for them when they come in. One look at their faces and he knows there’s news, most likely bad ones.

“What? What is it?” he asks them, a lump already forming in his gut. Louis and Harry look at each other briefly before Louis answers him.

“Um, you better sit down, mate.”

***

Zayn is inconsolable. He locked himself in his room after talking to the boys, crying into his pillow until he was spent. It’s worse than he thought. He’d figured Liam’s parents had sent him to live with a relative just to split them up but this - this was far worse.

He’s heard the horror stories, of course. The mere thought of someone like Liam being subjected to that broke his heart into a million pieces. How could they do that to him, his own parents? He wonders if Liam would be the same after enduring whatever hell they’ve put him through. What had they done to him? Did they physically hurt him? What state of mind was he in? Would he still want Zayn?

He had a thousand questions but no answers. Even getting this much from Ruth hadn’t been easy for Harry. Liam’s parents had forbidden the girls from revealing anything to anyone but it had been eating away at her. She finally broke down at the bakery yesterday and told Harry everything. Liam was back at home after spending a few months at a camp recommended by their pastor for “reparative therapy”. He was sent there not long after their relationship had been uncovered. Liam was back but, according to Ruth, he wasn’t Liam anymore. He hardly talked to anyone and spent most of the time in his room. Their parents seemed to regret sending him there and fought constantly. Liam was now seeing to a real therapist to hopefully undo the damage. The girls were walking on eggshells. All in all, the family was in disarray.

Zayn had no idea that he’d been the lucky one after that fateful day.  As it turns out he fared far better than Liam. He couldn’t help but wonder if he had lost Liam for good though.

***********************************

Six months earlier

Liam was already at the park by the time Zayn arrived to meet him. They made sure not to be seen together, especially after last Saturday when both their dads had inadvertently bumped into each other at the hardware store. Liam had been there to witness the icy encounter and later to listen to Geoff’s rant against Yaser on the drive back home. He’d  asked Liam if he was friends with any of the Maliks and Liam had nervously denied it. Zayn had heard his father relay something similar to his mum after he got home. Any illusions they’d had about being able to admit being friends were shattered.

“Hey, babe,” Liam greeted him with his customary smile. He gave Zayn a quick peck on the lips before they sat down on the grass under their tree in a secluded part of the park. Liam had wanted to carve their initials on it before Zayn informed him it would hurt the tree. He’d stuck his lower lip out like a child and Zayn swore there was nothing cuter than his dorky boyfriend. Zayn leaned against him, resting his head on his shoulder while Liam wrapped an arm around him, tucking him close and Zayn couldn’t help closing his eyes with a happy sigh.

“Guess what? I’m gonna have the house to m’self this weekend.” Liam said excitedly. “My whole family’s going to a retreat and I got out of it. Can you come over?” He clears his throat before he continues. “You could - um, you could spend the night, I mean, if you wanted and your parents said yes.”

Zayn looks up at him a smile slowly spreading on his face. The mere thought of having some alone time with Liam, let alone an entire day and night with him was beyond exciting. He couldn’t pass that up.

“Hell yeah. I’ll figure it out. I’ll get Niall to help cover for me.” Liam smiles so big his eyes practically disappear behind it and really, how could Zayn not kiss him then?

****

They’ve been snogging for hours it seems. Their lips are swollen and bruised but after all the hiding and living on stolen moments, would anyone blame them? Zayn’s been in a permanent state of arousal since he got to Liam’s house earlier that afternoon. They’d shed most of their clothes along the way and had already gotten each other off a couple of times, stopping only long enough to eat. They tried watching a movie but ended shutting it off when it became clear they weren’t going to watch and went up to Liam’s room instead.

There’s music playing softly in the background as they lie in Liam’s bed facing each other. Liam’s fingers are tracing over Zayn’s face, along his cheekbones, down his jaw, across his lips. The feeling is so soothing Zayn is already drifting off to sleep.

“I love you,” Liam breathes out softly.

Zayn smiles sleepily before replying “I love you more.”

“Nope. Love you more than anyone else.” Zayn chuckles but plays along.

“More than me mum and dad?” he asks his overgrown toddler of a boyfriend.

“Waaaaay more than your mum and your dad and your nan even and ….nobody loves you, baby, the way I do, okay? Give it up.” Liam has his mock serious expression on his face. Zayn bops him on the nose and closes his eyes again.

“Yeah, knew you were obsessed with me. Now let me sleep.” He feels Liam’s lips on his forehead before he falls asleep. That’s the last happy moment Zayn has this year.

********

Zayn is jolted awake by a shrill female voice yelling “Liam! Oh my god! What are you doing!”

He sits upright, adrenaline making his heart race as realization hits him. Next to him Liam is frantically grabbing the sheets trying to cover his naked form, all the color drained from his face as they both stare at a horrified Karen Payne standing by the door.

“Mom, please! Stop yelling. I can explain….”

She doesn’t stop.

“Explain? Explain what, Liam? You’re in bed with another boy! A boy, Liam! And you’re - you’re both naked! I don’t need an explanation! This is why you wanted to stay? So you could…” She’s visibly shaking and Zayn is frozen in place. She turns to him then and points a finger at him.

“You. You’re Yaser’s son aren’t you!” Zayn nods slowly. “You need to leave this house and never come back. Now! Liam, get him out of this house right now!” With that he turns and slams the door. They can hear raised voices downstairs and he’s sure Geoff will be up in no time.

“Oh my god! Shit!” Liam is mumbling while scrambling to look for clothes to wear. Zayn feels completely numb as he quietly but quickly gets dressed. He grabs his phone and his backpack before turning to Liam who looks like he’s about to burst into tears.

He grabs his face and tells him “Li, look at me. I’m gonna go home but you call me as soon as you can, okay? Okay? I love you. We’ll get through this, okay, babe? Please call me.”

Liam nods but doesn’t say anything. Zayn gives him a quick kiss and presses their foreheads together. “I love you, Liam.”

He reluctantly let’s go and walks out the door avoiding eye contact with everyone. A short time later, he walks into his front door and into his own hell. The Paynes had called his parents. They knew everything. After hours of berating him and insulting Zayn in every conceivable way, something breaks in him. That night, he packs a couple of bags with his most prized possessions including the teddy bear. He calls Louis who instructs him to go to his mum’s house until he can pick him up. He’s scared out of his mind but he doesn’t waver. He walks out of his home for his last time.

***************

January 1, 2017

Zayn has the apartment all to himself today and he’s glad. Louis is with Harry having partied all night no doubt. Zayn had stayed in, not having much to celebrate nor anyone to kiss come midnight. The one person he wanted to kiss was out there somewhere, far away from him.

He’s having a bowl of cereal when there’s a soft knock at the door. Zayn’s isn’t expecting anyone but he puts his bowl down on the coffee table and opens the door.

He feels like the wind gets knocked out of him and his knees nearly buckle when he sees who’s on the other side.

“Oh my god! Liam!” He’s not dreaming. It’s Liam all right. He looks leaner, his hair is completely different and he has a bit of a beard going on. He’s not exuding happiness but he looks damn good to Zayn, who can feel the tears start brimming already.

“Hey, Zee,” is all Liam says nervously.  Both of his hands are jammed in the front pocket of his jeans and he shifts from one foot to the other.

Zayn goes to hug Liam before he catches himself and halts his movement. He clears his throat and opens the door wider for him.

“Please, come inside, yeah?” Zayn’s heart is beating erratically and he has to fight the urge to launch himself at Liam. He can’t believe Liam is here. He dabs his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt as he tries to control the emotions raging inside.

Liam comes in and looks around nervously.

“Sit, please,” Zayn tells him pointing to the couch. Liam sits on one side of the couch and Zayn sits on the other end, hating the awkward tension between them.

Liam points to at Zayn’s chest. “You um, you’re still wearing the necklace.”

Zayn instinctively reaches for it. “Wear it everyday.”

Liam stares at him for a beat before looking away. “Guess I owe you an explanation, yeah?”

“No. You don’t owe me anything, Liam. I’m just- so happy to see you...,” Zayn’s voice cracks and then the tears start to slide down his face and he doesn’t try to stop them, just covers his face with both hands. Liam is off the couch and kneeling in front of him almost immediately. He pulls his hands away from his face and wipes the tears from his face gently.

“Zayn, please don’t cry! I’m sorry I’ve been away so long...I was a mess and everything was so awful...I wanted to see you but - not like that and fuck, I missed you so much. Do you want me to go, Zayn...should I go? I could call instead or --”

“No! Don’t leave, please. I’m just...relieved and overwhelmed. Please,” Zayn begs him. Zayn can’t hold back now. He wraps his arms around Liam and squeezes him. He smiles when he feels Liam hug him back just as tight.

“M’not going anywhere.” They stay like that for a while. Finally, they separate and Liam sits next to him on the couch.

“Ruth showed me your Facebook page.”

“You saw it?” Zayn is honestly surprised by that revelation.

“Yeah. Thanks for doing that. You have no idea how much it helped me.” Liam sighs and rubs a hand down his face.

“Zayn, um, I know Ruth told you what happened to me. It’s been shit but I’ve gotten better. Things are a bit better but I-” he sighs. “I still have a ways to go. I’m in therapy still, but I feel like I’m gonna be okay, finally. Would you- I mean, do you still want me around? At least as a friend? Not sure I’d be good as more than that honestly.” Liam looks sad again and Zayn can’t have that. He reaches out and grabs one of Liam’s hands gently.

“Liam, we can be whatever you need us to be, okay? Whatever you need.” He pauses long enough to gather a bit courage before asking “Was it...how bad was it, Li? Did they hurt you or - I mean you probably don’t want to talk about it I guess. Sorry.”

Liam closes his eyes and lets out a deep sigh. “It’s okay. I mean…” he stops and then huffs out a breath. “It was horrible, Zee. They said so many awful things about...about being gay and made me feel horrible about who i was. Asked all these questions about me mum and dad, demanding that I admit to shit that never happened and then we- um, we had to do these embarrassing exercises.” His voice is so low and he won’t look at Zayn.

“I thought I could handle it, ya know, like I thought I was strong but after a while - I started having doubts about m’self and everything else. They got in my head.” His voice is wobbly and he has tears in his eyes again.

“Liam -” Zayn tries to interrupt just to make this stop but he presses on.

“I’m lucky though. I was older. Got outta there after I hit eighteen. Some kids have been doing it for years, Zayn. Real young too. Can you imagine?” He wipes his eyes and has this pained look on his face that shatters Zayn. “God, m’sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s okay to talk to me about it. If you want to - and whenever you need to, Li.” He nudges a finger under his chin and tilts his head up and says “M’here, ok? Always.“

Liam’s eyes soften and he relaxes under his gaze. He smiles softly before whispering “You waited for me.”

Zayn nearly falls apart at that but instead he reaches out and bops Liam’s nose the way he used to. He takes a deep breath and confesses the only thing he’s ever been sure of in his life.

“Of course I waited. I love you.”

They lock eyes and Zayn sees it, a glimpse of the old Liam is looking back at him. Liam smiles at him fully then, the way he used it to with the crinkles by his eyes and it’s the best, most radiant thing Zayn’s seen in months.

“I love you more, Zee.”

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

18 by @loveontherocks (on Ao3) Pairing: Harry/Liam Rating: G

the thought of turning thirty doesn’t frighten harry. it is a milestone, years of moments compiled into memories, some profound while others fade. the skin around his eyes has started to wrinkle; permanent happiness, his mother tells him, moments that made him smile wide enough that its etched into his skin. lying in bed, he doesn’t feel alone. there isn’t anyone by his side, but it isn’t a bother; he doesn’t mind reaching out and feeling nothing but the cool sheets on the other side of his bed. harry’s grown accustomed to warming the sheets with his own body temperature.

-

his ten-year school reunion was two years ago; most of the people he'd studied with aren’t what they seemed to be. confidence faded, dreams forgotten, when reality set into mundanity—harry isn’t any more successful than the lot of them. he'd gone to school, passed exams, got a job where he overworked himself into exhaustion more times than he can count. and here he is—nothing he isn’t proud of, where the money is constant and at night his belly is full, recipes from his grandmother, and his grandmother's mother. he isn’t sad, hopeless, filled with fear if being alone.

but he isn’t happy either.

- he has a favorite place. it isn’t a coffee shop or a meadow stuck in an everlasting spring. it isn’t the sand of a beach or the creaky mattress that used to be his when he was sixteen living in his mother's home. there's a rusty round-a-bout in a park where children don't play anymore. the chains that make the swings are broken. harry sits and he spins, dizzies himself looking up at the clouded sky, closing his eyes just to feel the stilted breeze over his face. -

they say moments in life are only created by fate, serendipitous happenings out of the control of people. if he could have done anything differently, maybe things would be different. if he hadn’t missed that bus, hadn’t spilled that coffee, had asked for those directions, prayed a little harder. if only. time is irrelevant. it doesn’t mean anything when there's so much. lately, harry’s been counting seconds, and there seems to be so many. and nothing has changed. he hadn’t changed. the world hasn’t changed. he isn’t any different than he was four hundred and twenty-six seconds ago. but years, years ago he was different.

-

how do i know if they’re the one, mama? an almost that never quite makes it. an almost that’s faded. 

-

you just do, love.

-

it’s cliché to bump into someone on the street, when there was a friendship, an almost love. it’s not how it happens, though. 

there’s a storm, wind blowing, rushing against the windows. the lights have been flickering for the last hour but the power is still on. the heat is running; harry isn’t wearing any socks. 

his little house, on a street called strawberry lane, with shutters on the windows and a lawn kept mown by the son of his neighbor two doors down. there’s the doorbell, a chime that surprises harry because no one comes to see him. not usually. his mother has a key, and so does his sister, and all of his friends, according to a half-hearted scroll through facebook two and a half hours ago, are busy, with significant others, or reposting cat videos and ‘funny’ vines.

looking through the peep-hole, the porch light illuminates—

opening the door, harry smiles wide; “liam?”

“harry?”

and he looks the same. harry will belatedly think that liam payne hasn’t changed a single bit, except he knows that isn’t true. off the bat, initially, there are a few things harry notices are different; his hair, the color of his skin, his build, his eyes—no, those are exactly the same. 

see, liam was an almost, and harry always noticed a little bit too closely. “here for a visit? it’s been years,” harry says. the rain falls harder and harry widens the door so liam can walk through. his coat is soaked and his hair is limp over his forehead and—

god, he’s handsome.

“i—well, i came back for a visit with my mum and dad, went ‘round to your mum’s. she told me i would find you here,” liam says. he’s holding his beanie, wringing it in hands. harry feels like he can remedy liam’s anxiety; harry reaches out his hand to touch the back of liam’s and liam turns his hand so his palm touches harry’s.

“does it feel good to be home?” harry asks. for a moment liam is silent, standing in his wet clothes, holding harry’s hand, and he looks around. harry doesn’t know what he’s looking for, but liam’s vision settles on harry.

“yeah.”

- with the kettle on, and cups on the counter, harry waits for the sound of the whistle to pour the water. liam’s in harry’s bedroom, changing into dry clothes. he hums. nothing in particular, but it’s something sweet, something that makes him smile. something that reminds him of cloudy saturday mornings in the park, turning on that rusted up roundabout and hearing liam laugh when it spun too fast. 

“what are you smiling about, sunshine?”

turning to look at liam in the doorway, harry chooses to ignore the way liam is dressed in an old uni sweatshirt, and sleep pants that puddle around his feet, the same way they do when harry wears them. he looks comfortable, soft, at ease, at home. 

“remember when we used to go the park on saturdays—“

“because it was your favorite. harry, just ‘cause i’ve been gone, doesn’t mean i’ve forgotten about you.” liam’s closer now, leaning against the counter, close enough that he settles his hand on harry’s forearm. 

“feels like it.” 

liam’s hand grasps around harry’s waist, and liam tugs forward; their bodies collide, and harry doesn’t hesitate to wind his arms around liam’s neck. liam holds harry around his waist, and harry feels good, warm. he’s home, but he’s— home.

“missed you,” liam murmurs, and liam’s breath is warm on harry’s neck. harry sighs. 

“missed you, too,” harry replies, holding liam tight. 

there’s a cacophonous crackle of thunder overhead, and the power goes out, leaving them shrouded in darkness. -

and here's liam. his almost. his used to be. his what could have been. 

harry attempts to pull himself free from liam’s hold. “i should find some candles.”

“just stay here with me,” liam says, and it’s not a question, he’s not requesting it, and it’s all harry wants. 

harry says, “okay.”

-

they’ve abandoned the tea; in the dark, the labels on the wine bottles are hard to read. they giggle while harry rummages through cabinets for the corkscrew. they probably spill wine onto the counter, more than they pour into the glasses, but neither of them care. for the first time in a long time, there’s a bubble, no—a burst of happiness. it’s a meaningless moment, a moment that will be forgotten in the years to come. but right now, it’s easy, something bright, something harry feels changes things. he doesn’t know what’s changing. 

maybe it’s himself. 

-

“tell me about the states?” harry asks. and like they’re sixteen, on his mother’s sofa, harry has his legs up on liam’s thighs. “thirty looks good on you.” 

he can barely see liam in the dark, so there isn’t a chance to read liam’s expression. but there’s a laugh, a soft chuckle; liam’s hand grasps around harry’s ankle. his thumb is soothing over the anklebone, and for a moment, harry closes his eyes, and he allows himself to relax. 

“what do you want to know?”

harry thinks of questions to fire off; where was your favorite place, did you meet anyone famous in la—

“were you in love?”

“a few times.”

“were they good to you?”

liam’s silent, and his thumb stills over harry’s ankle. 

harry sips his wine.

“i didn’t call. i mean, it was easy in the beginning, right?” liam wonders aloud. “but then i got busy, barely called my mum even. i didn’t forget about you, though. thought about you all the time. that crazy laugh, the way you looked at me, all the saturdays we spent—“ liam stops. “i was eighteen, and so excited and in the middle of all of that—“

“stop, liam, it’s okay.”

“i left.”

“as in love with you as i was, i didn’t keep you here. and as much as i wanted to, you were eighteen, and excited, and you had to go. and it’s okay.” 

“why is it that you have to let the people you love go, harry? why? it doesn’t make sense.” 

“is that a decision you had to make?”

“it just got harder. had your number and i couldn’t bring myself to call. because what if you didn’t answer? what if you didn’t remember me?” liam sighs. “the decision was already made; some nights i regretted it. every saturday morning, i regretted it.

harry laughs, “spent the last million years thinking about you.”

“it’s only been twelve years, harry.” and still, that's too much time. gosh there’s a million songs harry’s thinking of, because is it silly that ten years have passed and harry hasn’t stopped himself of thinking of liam, draped in colors like gold in silver, thoughts of liam in his mind striking like lightning, for just a moment, destroying any other thought that could creep up on him, just for a moment? remembering could be painful, but it’s a happier place, a happier time. he just wants liam so much, and being reunited with liam only serves to remind harry of that fact.

“you came home, though. you came back to me. you said you would and you did.”

“i promised. that night, on the roundabout. i promised you, harry.”

“do you have to leave again? do you have to go?”

“figured if you wouldn’t have me, then i would. it doesn’t quite sound like you’re kicking me out, though.” 

“didn’t want you to leave the first time. ‘m not gonna let you leave now, love.”

harry won’t take it for granted, the second chance he's been given, not when liam looks the way he does, when he talks the way he does, when he smiles like that, a smile that takes harry back a whole decade, to when he would look at liam and liam would smile with all the life and shine and vibrancy of a kid in love.

“oh, liam. you make me so happy, did you know that.”

“why?”

“what do you want, liam?”

“i want…. i want a love like you made me feel. when we were eighteen.”

“i could give you that. could give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“only ever wanted you.”

“come here, love.” harry can hear the click on glass on the coffee table, and then liam is shifting. between harry’s thighs, liam is heavy. harry slips his hands underneath the sweatshirt liam is wearing just to lay them flat against liam’s back.

lima runs his fingers through harry’s hair. “do you think this is—“

“perfect?”

liam hums.

“i’m sleepy, liam,” harry murmurs, but he’s grinning wildly, laughing when liam asks:

“is that just an excuse to get me into your bed?”

“yes. but just to sleep. sleep with me please? like friday nights, in your bed.”

“like we’re eighteen all over again.”

liam shifts again, just enough to make harry’s heart burst into a quick rhythm. but then liam rescinds his body, and he’s standing, and liam takes harry’s hand to help him up. the power is still out, but harry doesn’t need the light to show liam the way.

- dawn blooms, and sun’s rays make first light, casting a soft, muted golden glow over naked skin. and the sun will only illuminate their smiles. they’ve been in love for so long and underneath the light of the sun, it becomes obvious. and liam doesn’t leave, he stays to lay in harry’s arms, because they were made to hold him like this.

-

“do you think we should have waited?” liam asks. 

“for what? for this? don’t you think we’ve waited long enough?” harry’s smiling and there’s a gentle glow from behind the curtain, a tell that the sun has risen. harry leaves the bed, and liam whistles behind him. harry can feel liam’s eyes on every part of him; he doesn’t feel so naked like this. 

harry draws the curtains open and climbs back into bed. all night they’ve been at it, since harry kissed liam, and liam was careful when he undressed harry. he took his time, like they had all the time in the world. 

now, liam is hoarding warmth underneath the blanket. harry rests his hand low on liam’s belly and his head on liam’s shoulder. 

“we’re a long way from the playground,” harry says. 

“for a moment i stood outside, and it was pouring rain and i almost didn’t knock. could you believe i was afraid? for a moment, i thought you wouldn’t be home, or you would answer and wouldn’t let me in. it’s that silly?” liam turns slightly, so harry’s cradled against liam’s chest. liam smells like rainwater, like cologne, like harry, like sex—

“no, baby. i have loved you since we were eighteen. if anything, all this time, it was just you finding your way back home.”

“and you?” liam asks, pressing a kiss to harry’s forehead.

“me? i spent all this time getting ready for it. loving you was an idea for so long. but the fact that it’s real—it’s not something you can be ready for. it just happens.”

“you’re still every bit as wonderful as you were. i don’t know what too me so long, darling.” liam chuckles, and they lay chest to chest, legs tangled underneath the heap of blankets.

with warmth seeping through harry’s bones, his lover by his side, and the sun on his flesh, he says, “you’re here now. ‘s all that matters isn’t it?”

-

most people go out every day hoping they’ll bump into their soulmate. in the line at the grocery store, or at the park, coffee shop, parking lot; harry’s soulmate just came back home.

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Steal My Girl by @guilty1dlove Pairing: Zayn/Liam Rating: T

London, October 1940

“Zayn… Hurry up, love… We have to go!” Trisha Malik yells into the small house, ushering her three daughters through the front door.

“I need to get something, Mum. I’ll be right behind you,” Zayn shouts back. “You and the girls go ahead.”

The air raid sirens have been wailing for a while now, and Zayn knows that it is a stupid idea not to rush to the shelter, but he has to go and get it. Hopefully, it will be where he thinks he left it. Running up the stairs in a wild panic, he forgets about the loose panel of wood on the top step. He trips, barely able to maintain enough balance not to fall flat on his face, but his glasses get knocked down, tumbling to the bottom. Shit, he’ll just have to pick them up on his way out.

When he reaches his room, he stumbles to the bed and rummages blindly among the bedding. Eventually, he finds what he is looking for in the crack between the mattress and the headboard. Thank God for that—he smiles weakly at the item in his hand. It is a rectangular bookmark, made out of tin with a crooked ‘Z’ etched into one side. It is not the best looking item, but Liam gave it to him a few birthdays ago, and he has been sleeping with it under his pillow ever since.

Just as he is about to leave, an almighty crash shakes the house, knocking him off his feet. The air in the room is thick with dust and soot, making it difficult to breathe. Zayn crawls into the far corner, accidentally putting his hands repeatedly into fragments of glass and pieces of rubble. His body shakes violently as he hugs his knees to his chest. The blast must have been very close, judging by the missing window panes and the huge hole in the roof directly above the bed.

Zayn prays silently for the welfare of everyone on his street. Hopefully, his neighbours all made it to the relative safety of the school basement, which functions as the local bomb shelter. The dust still hangs heavy in the room, and even if he could see more than a couple of feet in front of him, which he can’t without his glasses, it would be suicidal to try and make it to the school now. He presses his fists over his ears in an attempt to keep out the sounds of war. The bookmark in his hand is starting to cut into his flesh, but at least it reminds him that he is still alive, and it also reminds him of Liam.

Liam Payne, who has no idea that he has been Zayn’s entire world from the moment he moved with his mother onto this street. Liam, who is kind, funny, brave and—extremely hot. His bravery is what led him to volunteer for the army only today, although he didn’t have to. He is a dock worker, which means he is important to the home front and doesn’t have to do active duty, but he and his drinking buddies decided to volunteer.

Zayn felt like someone had punched him in the stomach when he heard Mrs Payne talk to his mum about it. Why did Liam not tell him before he went? Does he think he is too weak to cope with the news? Or perhaps Zayn is simply not relevant. At the very least, he would have thought that Liam valued their friendship enough to tell him in person. Not that he would ever have the same feelings that Zayn harbours, but they are close, and it hurts that he can just forget about him. Zayn has lots of practice in hiding his emotions. Every weekend, when Liam takes yet another girl to a dance, he sits in his room over his books, not able to concentrate, just trying not to think about someone else being the centre of Liam’s attention. But Zayn has learnt to live with that; he knows nothing will ever happen between them.

The dull roar of the enemy planes overhead brings him back to his current, precarious situation. This house could receive a direct hit at any moment, killing him before he has a chance to tell Liam how he feels. Silent sobs wrack his body at the thought that Liam might never know what he means to him and clutching the bookmark to his chest, he tries to comfort himself with the thought that at least he has had someone like Liam in his life at all.

----------

Liam is gasping for air as he barges through the door of the shelter. He was on the tram home from the recruitment office when all public transport was suspended, and he had no option but to run the rest of the way. All the familiar folks have already settled in the cellar under the school building, trying to distract themselves with games or sing-alongs, but despite that, the fear is palpable. Around fifty men, women and children are sitting or lying down on the long, wooden benches along the damp walls. Mrs Payne rushes over to hug her son, clearly relieved to see him.

“You left it late, love. I was beginning to wonder where you were,” she chides him lovingly, ruffling his short, brown hair.

“Sorry, mum, I came as quickly as I could,” Liam says, squeezing her tightly.

Now that he has reassured his mother, Liam’s eyes search for the Malik family. Trisha and the girls are huddled together at the far end of the large room, but there is no sign of Zayn.

He makes his way over to them, throwing Trisha a questioning look that she immediately understands.

“He was right behind us… went back into the house. He forgot something,” she reports, shrugging helplessly, her voice full of worry.

“And you didn’t see him come out again?” Liam can feel his chest tighten with dread.

She shakes her head slowly, eyes brimming with tears.

“Right, I’m going to get him,” Liam declares without hesitation.

“No, Liam. You can’t go back; it’s carnage out there,” his mum implores him.

“I can’t just do nothing. He knows that I’ve never let him down before, and I’m not about to start now,” Liam says, and after giving his mum a quick peck on the cheek, he runs up the stairs without a backwards glance, before anyone else can attempt to stop him.

The sky looks even more menacing in the dying light of the late afternoon. A veil of smoke drifts over the city, pierced by the crisscrossing beams of the searchlights. The low rumbling above seems to be more distant, indicating that the planes over this area have moved on, at least for now. Liam has walked along here countless times, but now some of the streets are barely recognisable. Many of the modest houses have been reduced to rubble, and he can only hope that the occupants were not at home when disaster struck.

Despite his best efforts not to let the growing sense of trepidation get the better of him, he can’t stop the flood of terrifying thoughts. What if something has happened to Zayn? What if he is badly injured or—? In a world that is literally falling apart around Liam, the gentle, beautiful boy is his sanctuary, in which the ugliness of the war can’t penetrate. His mesmerising, hazel eyes give him reassurance when nothing else makes sense. Liam thanks the universe every day, that Zayn is terribly shortsighted, which prevents his call up to the army. He will have a brilliant career as a teacher in front of him when this madness eventually ends. This is the main reason why Liam let himself be swept up in the euphoria to fight the enemy. He can’t be responsible for holding Zayn back ……..

He hurries along the dusty cobblestones, feeling his heart pound in his throat, and when he reaches his destination, dread turns to panic. Although the building it is still standing, all of the windows are blown out, the front door missing. A gaping hole in the roof, right above where Zayn’s bedroom would be, makes his stomach lurch.

Liam has to climb over a pile of broken bricks before he can enter. After frantically searching the rooms on the ground floor, he turns toward the damaged staircase. At the last second, he avoids treading on what appears to be a black piece of plastic—Zayn’s glasses. They are covered in dirt, but otherwise intact. Oh god, he can’t see much without them. Did he leave the house? Is he lost somewhere, alone and afraid? Liam takes three steps at once, driven by the hope that Zayn may still be alive and in this house. His bedroom is directly opposite the stairs, and when Liam staggers through the door frame, he sees him: cowering in the corner, looking at him with those eyes, the ones Liam thought he might never see again.

-----------

Zayn knows in theory that it is Liam, standing there in front of him, but he is unable to comprehend what he sees. Surely, Liam went to the shelter? Surely, he is not reckless enough to come looking for a friend during an air raid? Maybe it’s a hallucination, a trick of Zayn’s brain to comfort him. For a moment, he enjoys what he can make out if he squints. Liam looks gorgeous, despite the grime on his face and the soot covering his hair. The woollen work shirt is only buttoned half way with its sleeves rolled up; his braces are hanging by his side. Zayn allows himself a rueful smile, which dies on his lips when it becomes clear that Liam is very much a reality.

“Oh my god, what the hell are you doing?” Liam demands. “Why did you turn back? Please say that you didn’t do it to rescue one of your precious books. You foolish idiot—I’ve been out of my mind, not knowing if you’re even alive.”

Liam’s outburst somehow doesn’t match the concerned look with which he scans Zayn’s crumpled form for injuries. Visibly relieved to find that he is still in one piece, he pulls his friend up by his shoulders.

“Come on; it’s too dangerous up here. Let’s wait it out in the cupboard under the stairs,” he urges, but Zayn isn’t cooperating.

“Zayn, please, I’ve found your specs… Here.” He carefully places the glasses onto Zayn’s nose, after wiping the lenses on a reasonably clean part of his shirt.

“Were you gonna tell me?” Zayn asks quietly, trying to wriggle out of Liam’s grip.

“Tell you what? Mate, this is not the time for a discussion.”

Liam’s patience must be exhausted, because he tightens his hold and bundles a helpless Zayn downstairs, into the sturdiest place of the house. He ends up sitting halfway on Liam’s lap with his head on his chest and Liam’s arms wrapped securely around him. In any other scenario, this would be absolute heaven for him, but he needs to know the answer to the question that has been eating away at him since he overheard their mothers talking.

“So, were you gonna tell me, or were you just gonna leave?” he asks again, struggling to control the tremor in his voice.

“It’s not like that… I—of course I was… I was on my way, but you weren’t in the shelter,” Liam splutters after a long pause.

Zayn can feel Liam’s heart hammering away. Hopefully, that means that he is at least a little bit affected by the question.

“You should have said something earlier; I had to find out from your mum.”

“I didn’t know how to,” Liam concedes.

Tears prick Zayn’s eyes. “Never mind, what’s done is done,” he chokes out.

“Jesus, you’re injured,” Liam says suddenly, changing the subject. “Where is it coming from?” He points to a dark stain on the bottom of his shirt, where Zayn’s right hand is still balled into a fist.

“It’s nothing.”

Liam shifts his body so he can look at Zayn.

“Zee, you’re bleeding; come here,” he says softly, taking Zayn’s hands into his. Those strong, hands, calloused from the hard labour at the docks. He gently unbends Zayn’s fingers, revealing the blood-covered bookmark.

Liam draws a sharp breath, his eyes wide. “This is what you’ve risked your life for? It’s only a stupid piece of metal.”

“No—it’s everything; it’s all I will have left once you’re gone to be a hero.” The quiver in his own voice annoys Zayn a little. He doesn’t want Liam to see his desperation, his monumental effort to retain a minuscule amount of composure.

“You think I want to be a hero? And you did this because of me? I don’t understand.” In another set of circumstances, Liam’s facial expression might have been comical, but as it is, it just highlights how incredibly unaware of Zayn’s turmoil he is.

Zayn can’t hold it together anymore. What does it matter anyway? Liam is going to leave and may never return.

“I know you don’t,” he starts hesitantly before the emotional floodgates open and the words tumble from his tongue.

“You don’t understand how you make my heart stutter every time you smile, how the sound of your voice brightens my whole day or the way you turn up in my dreams night after night, making me wish I’d never wake up.”

Waiting for a response from Liam is agony. The furious pounding of Zayn’s heart against his chest masks any other feeling, even the very real fear of their current ordeal. After what seems like an eternity, Liam grabs him by the shoulders, bringing his face close to Zayn’s.

“What are you saying, Zee?” he asks with a tone in his voice that Zayn can’t quite place.

“I’m saying that I love you, Liam. Always have.”

Letting go of his shoulders, Liam looks utterly bewildered as the magnitude of that statement sinks in.

“Why did you never mention anything?”

“What would have been the point? I was too scared to lose your friendship, so I decided to torture myself with watching you go out with a different girl every weekend.”

“Oh, Zayn—nothing happened with those girls. Why do think I never took any of them out twice? I left them on their doorstep, with only a goodnight kiss, every single one of them.”

To say that Zayn is confused would be a massive understatement. Everybody knows that Liam likes the ladies… doesn't he?

“Why?” he manages to croak out.

“Because of you,” Liam smiles. you may be clever, but you never notice that I can’t keep my eyes off you, that I get goosebumps whenever we touch. I know for sure, that I don’t exist if I don’t have you in my life.

Zayn shakes his head in disbelief, desperately trying not to imagine that his words could be true.

“Don’t lie to me, Liam… You don’t have to spare my feelings. It’s fine; you went to sign up and that’s that.”

“Look at me,” Liam says, lifting Zayn’s chin with his finger. “I went, yes, and I was going to join up, but I got as far as the front desk and I couldn’t do it. The thought of leaving you tears me apart. And you’re right about me lying, only it’s me I’ve been doing it to. I keep telling myself that all I want is to cherish and protect you as a friend, but….” Liam bites down on a smile, a gesture that causes Zayn’s insides to melt every time, and now is no exception.

“But?”

“Turns out that I love you too,” Liam whispers. “I couldn’t let you know because you deserve more than me, more than a dockworker.”

Is that what he thinks? That he isn’t good enough? When he is everything Zayn wants and needs?

At such short notice, Zayn can only think of one way to convince him otherwise, and so he clasps his hands on either side of Liam’s face, covering his lips with his own. Liam stills for a second before taking charge. He eliminates the remaining space between them, pulling Zayn fully onto his lap and, somewhat desperately, returns the kiss. The world around Zayn falls away. His head swims, his thoughts are obliterated. If nothing good ever again happens in his life, he won’t complain because he has this moment.

They break apart only when the desire for intimacy is outweighed by their need to breathe.

Liam’s forehead comes to rest against Zayn’s. “Can you hear that, Zee?”

Zayn can’t really hear anything, bar the blood rushing in his ears, and it takes him a minute to grasp what Liam means. When he does, a relieved grin spreads across his flushed face. Outside, the welcome screaming of the all clear siren rips through the afternoon air—they’ve made it.

“So, you’re definitely not going?” he checks again, just in case the last half hour was some kind of daydream.

“No, babe, I’m definitely not going, but I do want to help with the war effort. My foreman at work said that they are crying out for fire wardens. Is that ok?”

“Yeah,” Zayn smiles. “Will that leave you any time to take me on a date occasionally?”

“Try and stop me.” A huge grin spreads over Liam’s face. “I still can’t believe that we didn’t realise this earlier. That we want the same things and dream the same dreams, I mean.”

“I know, but we’re here now and when all this craziness is over, we will find a way to be together; until then, our love will see us through,” Zayn assures him. “For now, let’s go and let everyone know that we’re alive.”

After another passionate hug, they step out of the house into a world that is equally as uncertain as it is full of promise for the two of them.

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Act My Age by @mcqdj Pairing: Zayn/Liam Rating: T

Liam was happy.

What was there to be unhappy about? Very little, he thought.

He had a job that he loved--loved--a veterinary practice that meant the world to him and that truly was his pride and joy. And although his dad might not have thought being an animal doctor was the best thing in the world, he'd come around and warmed up to the idea as soon as he saw Liam's first little clinic.

Liam grinned. His dad was a sucker for puppies.

He had a place of his own, a space that was all his. With no one else's taste to consider, Liam could decorate it as he saw fit: comic books and animals. It had been difficult finding a place that allowed pets, but there was no way Liam was going anywhere without the dogs.

All three of them.

He had friends he could have a good time with--a group of lads who were always up for a pint or who could be counted on to kick a football around the pitch.

But Liam had the other kind of friends too, the kinds of friends that mattered most: good, close, warm friends upon Liam could depend.

Being a vet, he got to meet so many people and most of them turned into quite good friends over time.

Take Harry and Louis for instance. Liam had thought it was simply a matter of delivering a litter of kittens for them. But it seemed Louis Tomlinson had already decided that Liam Payne was a member of their family, whether Liam liked it or not.

Which he did.

Like, that is.

Because being a member of the Harry and Louis' "family" meant getting invited over to taste Harry's creations when he was in a baking mood (and, let's be honest, Harry was very rarely not in a baking mood). It meant having someone to play FIFA with on an odd weekend when Liam didn't have work. It meant a discount at the bookshop that Louis' co-owned.

At the bookshop Louis co-owned with Zayn.

Zayn.

Liam was a careful person. Sensible, reasonable, practical. He was a firm believer in making a plan and then executing it.

But he hadn't planned on Zayn.

You could plan for a great many things in life, Liam thought. But sometimes, when the really important things came along?

You just had to go with it.

So when Zayn hit it off with the Captain, the unofficial mascot of Liam's little practice, and contacted Liam soon after expressing his interest in adopting him and giving Captain a forever home...that's exactly what Liam did.

He went with it.

"Hello?"


"Is this Zayn Malik? This is Dr. Payne, uh...Liam?"

"Oh! Yeah, you got my email then?"

Liam could hear the smile in Zayn's voice over the wire and it made him smile as well.

"Yeah, I did. So, you're really interested in adopting Cap?"

"Yeah. I'd love to have him." Zayn chuckled. "I, uh...I guess I shouldn't really be admitting this, but I never had a pet when I was younger. Always made me feel like I've been missing out or something.  Don't know. Maybe this sounds silly, but I think you need to learn how to care of something when you're young? Ahh, I'm sorry, I'm rambling..."

"No, no...that makes perfect sense to me. I...I think kids learn a lot from taking care of a pet. And...well, it's never too late to learn."

"Think so?"

"I know it," Liam asserted.

There was a silence on the phone after Liam said this, but it wasn't awkward at all. In fact, Liam didn't feel any rush to fill the silence, content to sit, with the phone pressed to his ear, listening to Zayn breathing on the other end.

"Anyway," Liam shook himself out his silence and rifled through Zayn's application on his desk, just to sound busy, "I don't see any problems with your papers. But...I was wondering, I mean, I know Cap likes you...but I'd like to see you with him one more time, see how you handle him on the street, if you have..."

"Rapport," Zayn filled in.

"Right. Rapport," Liam grinned.

"That's a good idea. Like I said. I never did have a pet before, I don't know how he'll respond to me." Zayn laughed. "Now I'm proper nervous."

"Aw, don't be. I'm sure you'll be fine."

Liam hadn't counted on being the nervous one at that meeting. But waiting outside the clinic, Captain's leash in hand, watching the street for Zayn, it almost felt like Liam was the one being tested and not the other way around. 
 It turned out fine, of course. More than fine.

Because Captain adored Zayn. Liam had seen many owners and dogs together over the years, and he knew that there were certain pairs that just belonged together. Liam knew that look, the way Captain looked at Zayn said everything.

Captain was Zayn's.

And since, Liam was pretty sure that he looked at Zayn the same way Cap did...Liam was probably Zayn's too.

Everyone could see it. But possibly only Louis gave him grief about it. 
"Zayn has got you on a leash."

Liam didn't care. It wasn't like it was true.

Who was Liam kidding. Of course it was true.

But he didn't care.

Meeting Zayn, falling in love with him -- because that's definitely what it was, love -- was the best thing that had ever happened to Liam.

Which made Liam nervous about messing things up, by maybe taking things too fast.

"What do you mean?" Louis asked, his eyes fixed on the game on the television screen.

"I mean...Zayn and I...I don't want to make him feel like I'm pressuring him into anything..." Liam said, trying to work through how he felt about his situation with Zayn.

Louis put his game controller down and shot Liam an incredulous look. 
"You don't actually think that do you? That you're pressuring Zayn?"

Liam shrugged and shook his head. "I, I don't know. I feel like...stupid and slow when it comes to Zayn. I just, sometimes, I don't know. I need you tell me. Cause I know that you truly understand. I mean, you know Zayn. What do you think he thinks about us?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You and Zayn are perfect together. Because the two of you are dog people. Dog people are romantic. That's what Zayn tells me all the time." Louis rolled his eyes.

Liam blushed. "So...you think it will be okay to invite him to my parents' anniversary party? Because, you know...family. That's always pressure."

Harry popped his head from out of the kitchen, curls sticking out of his headscarf, his face red from the heat of the oven, a tortoiseshell kitten weaving around his ankles. "Invite him, Liam. He'll love it. Zayn will love that you made him part of it. Also..." he grinned and arched an eyebrow at Liam, "aren't we invited?"

"If you don't mind being around my crazy family, you're welcome to come!" Liam said, his cheeks puffing out with in a happy smile. "My mum would love it if you guys came!"

"That's sorted then. I'll bring something...maybe a cake...Maybe a coconut cake...with a white icing...white chocolate, maybe...." Harry muttered to himself as he disappeared back into the kitchen.

So, when Liam passed by Zayn's flat that evening, he was feeling good. Being in Zayn's company always felt good, but tonight, he felt even better, confident in Harry and Louis' reassurance. 
 

From his place on the floor, Captain half-on and half-off his lap, Liam called out to Zayn, who was cleaning up the remains of their dinner in the kitchen.

"Hey, Zayn?"


"Babe?"

Liam blushed furiously at the endearment. He didn't think he'd ever get used to it.

"It's my parents' wedding anniversary at the weekend. They're having a party. Would you come with me?"

Zayn appeared at the doorway, arms crossed over his chest, a smile on his face. "As your date?"

"Yeah. Something like that, I guess."

Zayn took the few steps to cross over to where Liam was, sank down on his knees beside him, and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I would love to be your date."

Liam threaded one arm behind Zayn's neck and pulled him closer, to kiss him again, long and slow, a kiss that had both heat and light in it, a kiss that made Zayn smile but also melt into Liam's arms...until Captain chose to join in the fun, lapping at their faces and pawing at them both.

"Cap!" Liam protested with a laugh, pushing at the dog that was trying to squeeze in between them. He eventually gave up and the three of them ended up in a mess on the floor, Zayn and Liam's hands tangled together, resting on Liam's chest, Zayn's head tucked into the crook of Liam's neck, lips pressed against his birthmark, Captain lying on top of them both.

There was no doubt about it.

Liam was happy.

***

Liam leaned back in his seat, chuckling into his hand as he watched his parents dance. Zayn was seated beside him, leaning forward, his chin in his hands, smiling at the couple that still was so clearly in love with each other. Zayn glanced back at Liam and poked him in the ribs. "Stop laughing. You're awful. They are so sweet."

Liam grinned and grabbed Zayn's hand, kissing it. "'M sorry. It's just...oh no, look at my dad!" Liam exclaimed and clapped his palm over his eyes.

Ruth passed by their table and paused to give Liam a hug. 
 "Hello, baby brother," Ruth said, ruffling Liam's hair. "Are you going to bring the dogs over sometime? I miss them!"

"I will. Oh, and hey, this is Zayn. I told you about him, remember? He adopted Captain!"

Zayn stood up and extended a hand to Roo, who laughed and gathered him up in a hug. "Please. Anyone who makes my brother this happy deserves a hug. Am so glad he invited you. Even if it means you have to witness our parents making fools of themselves."

Zayn glanced at Liam and the unashamed affection on his face made him feel almost dizzy.

"Excuse me, excuse me..." Liam's dad was tapping on the microphone to try and get everyone's attention.

Roo released Zayn from her arms and she murmured, "Uh-oh, here we go...cross your fingers that dad keeps his speech short!"

Zayn laughed and sat back down, but not before Liam grabbed his hand and tugged him in for a kiss. Zayn smiled against Liam's mouth and melted into his warm, solid chest, which only made Liam sigh happily against Zayn's mouth.

"Oi, oi, oi, get a room, you two. And pay attention will you, Liam?? Your dad is making a speech!"

Liam pulled away from Zayn to find Harry sitting beside him, Louis on his lap, grinning.

Harry poked Liam in the ribs. "You never even came out to dance!"


"I wanted to, honest! But Zayn doesn't dance," Liam said, turning puppy-dog eyes on Zayn, who was clearly unmoved.

"Ssshhh. I'm listening to your dad!" Zayn said, gesturing at Liam to keep quiet.

"When I met Karen..." 

Liam's mum blushed and she dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief.

"Oh, he's only gotten started and she's crying already! Stop it, Karen! Stop!" Harry shouted, good-naturedly. Karen looked over at Harry and waved happily at him.

Liam shook his head. They'd only just met but Harry had somehow gotten his entire family wrapped around his little finger.

"As I was saying, when I met Karen, I always knew we would be together forever. I was never afraid of getting old because I knew Karen would be by my side," Geoff stopped, his voice choked up.

"And I always said, when I'm fat and old..."

Liam shouted over the crowd, "You mean like now, dad?"

The assembled guests burst into cheerful laughter and applause.

"Thank you for that clarification, son, thank you. Okay, fine, now that I'm fatter and older, and I move a little slow when I dance...Karen, I know that I won't act my age...because you always make me feel young."

Despite his having poked fun at his parents not moments ago, Liam couldn't help feeling a little teary at this.


He snuck a glance at Harry who was unabashedly wiping his eyes, and even Louis--who would normally be the first to crack a joke--looked emotional too.

"Your parents are lovely, they really are," Harry sniffed. Louis pet Harry's curls fondly and planted a kiss on his temple. 


"Stop crying, love. Happy times!"

Zayn was gazing at Liam, his dark eyes unreadable. But when Zayn leaned into him and slung an arm around his neck to draw him closer, Liam somehow knew everything Zayn wasn't saying.

That this thing, between the two of them?

It was love.


Liam knew that his parents loved each other. He'd seen other families break up, grow apart, and had only recently realized how lucky he was that his parents were still together. Their love was something special. He'd grown up with that love all around him. It was their love that made him everything he was. Their love was the standard against which he held all other relationships.

And with Zayn's arms around him, Liam knew that somehow, he'd gotten lucky.

Because finding a love like that? It was like catching lightning in a bottle.

Liam cleared his throat and murmured, so only Zayn could hear, "I know we haven't been together long, but...you think maybe we'll have something as good as my parents?"

Zayn pulled away, a smile on his face. "I think so, yeah."

"So...you know you're pretty much saying yes to spending a lot of time with me. And dogs. And cats. And animals in general, because of, you know...my job."
 Zayn chuckled. "Yes. Yes, I realize that."

Liam grinned. "I'm talking about years and years of me, Zayn. You think you're up for that? Like, years and years together?"

Zayn tilted his head to one side and squinted, considering Liam's question. "Mmmm. Yeah. I think I'd be up for that, babe. And you know what? I think I'll still feel the same and you will too."

Liam leaned in to press his lips to Zayn's smile and only pulled away when Harry tugged on his sleeve. 
"Hey, Liam. Come over to ours for a bit after this?"

"We'll throw the after party, yeah!" Louis said, rubbing his hands together. 
Liam looked over at Zayn, who laughed and nodded.

"Sure, why not?"

Because sometimes you had a plan.

But sometimes, the best thing was to just go with it.

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Once in a Lifetime by @josjournal​ Pairing: Zayn/Liam Rating: G

Zayn remembered nothing. He had no solid memories from before he turned fifteen. He was fully aware that his name was Zayn Malik, that he lived with his family in a small cottage in the woods. His mother homeschooled his sisters and himself, something that she had apparently always done. Zayn had knowledge that came from having been educated his entire life, but he had no memory of actually learning. 

He once asked his mother about it, but she had been no help. “Some people just don’t have a mind for such things,” she’d responded with a shrug. He spent all of his time with his family, there were no other people for hundreds of miles around. When his family got to be too much, he headed out into the woods for hours, wandering and getting lost in his own head. He would sit and draw for hours, amazed at some of his own drawings since, again, he had no memory of every learning to draw. He didn’t know how much he’d improved, practiced, or if the talent was natural.

The strangest thing was that some days, he would swear he’d dozed off out in the woods and upon waking, the page would be covered with sketches of eyes. Warm eyes that felt familiar, but he couldn’t even begin to explain why. As he ran his hand over the drawings, trying to spark a memory, he swore he heard someone call his name. He would glance up, expecting his father, but the woods were clear.

Sometimes, he really wondered if there was something wrong with his mind.

***

Liam remembered everything. Every memory from his life was permanently embedded in his brain. He could even tell you what colour hospital gown his mother had worn when he was born. Mostly, though, he remembered hazel eyes with a pinprick of colour in the whites. 

His memory hadn’t always been this good. It had been typical. He’d remembered the important things, for the most part. He could tell you when his mum’s birthday was, what his sisters’ favourite colours were, all of the usual stuff. 

Then one day, it all changed.

Liam still couldn’t believe that witches existed. He had always thought they were the things of fairy tales, but if that were true, then he had somehow stumbled into one set in the twenty-first century. If he’d known that strange maths teacher who watched him too carefully, despite being ten years older and married, was a witch, he would’ve been a bit more careful. He might not have let her know that he was in love, that his heart was taken by someone else. 

Maybe if he’d just told the woman he wasn’t interested because of her age, because of her marital status, things wouldn’t have happened the way they did. Maybe she wouldn’t have exacted revenge by taking away the one person he loved more than anything.

Instead, at fifteen years old, he’d lost the love of his life and he was the only one who remembered him. Three years later, he still dreamt of him every night. He dreamt of running through a dense forest, shouting for him. He could feel someone chasing him, someone trying to get to his love before Liam could, but even after all these years, not even the bad guys in the dark night could take it all away. They couldn’t take away the memories, the feelings, the love he had for him.

The love he carried for Zayn.

***

Zayn woke up, as he did most nights, heart pounding. He glanced over to the door of his room, surprised to see it propped open, a small bit of flickering light pouring in from the main room of the cabin. He could hear his parents whispering. Zayn slid out of bed, tiptoeing quietly towards the door. The whispering became more distinct as he drew closer.

“I tried leaving the forest today,” his father said. “I could see the road ahead of me, but the more I walked, it never got any closer.”

“If I didn’t know any better,” his mother spoke, “I’d think we’re caught up in some kind of crazy curse.”

He heard his father’s snort of derision. “There is no such thing as curses.”

“Then how else do you explain it?” his mother countered, and Zayn could hear her moving away, her voice growing softer until it was drowned out entirely by the sound of dishes clinking and water running.

Zayn stayed at the doorway until he heard his parents switch off the lights and head off to their room on the top floor of the cabin. Once he heard his father’s snores, he tiptoed out of his room and into the kitchen. Reaching underneath the sink, he unearthed the large flashlight they stored there in case of emergencies. Then he grabbed his boots from next to the door and snuck outside.

Once he was outside, he pulled his boots on and turned on the flashlight. He swished it over the ground, thankful suddenly for the rain that had fallen the night before when the light found his father’s bootprints in the soft earth. Setting off, he followed the trail.

He was further into the forest than he could remember ever being, although that really wasn’t saying much. He’d long since lost track of his father’s footprints, the density of the foliage above his head keeping the ground dry. He flashed the light ahead, catching the glimpse of an opening in the trees, wondering if that was the road his father had spoken of.

Zayn kept walking, feeling the trees draw closer around him instead of opening up like he had expected. His breathing was becoming laboured even though he was moving at an even pace. His head was beginning to hurt, but something inside him urged him to keep moving. He couldn’t put a name to the desire deep inside him, suddenly, to find his way out of the forest, but he knew that he had to do it.

He stopped moving for a moment, placing a hand on the tree closest to him. He blinked, staring at the tree as he felt it pulse beneath his palm, almost in a heartbeat. He realized something as time went on and the pounding in his head grew worse. “Right now, my heart is beating the same,” he whispered to the tree, thinking he really was losing his mind.

He heard his name and whirled around, thinking his family had noticed him missing, but there was no one there. Hearing his name again, he turned back towards the direction of the mysterious road. The figure of a man stood there, the entirety of his visage cloaked in darkness. Everything except his eyes. Eyes he’d drawn a thousand times.

A word welled up in his chest and exploded out of his mouth just before he collapsed into darkness beneath the pulsing tree. 

The word was: Liam.

***

Liam sat in maths, his head on the desk in front of him. He’d slept for crap and woken with a headache worse than any hangover he’d ever experienced. He’d honestly considered skipping maths class, just so he wouldn’t have to deal with the witch, but he was honestly afraid of what she would do next if he disappointed her.

“Zayn Malik.” A voice he didn’t recognize called a name he hadn’t heard spoken by anyone else in three years.

Liam jerked his head up, meeting the eyes of a large man in an ill-fitting suit at the front of the room. “Are you Zayn Malik?” he asked.

“N..no, sir,” Liam stuttered. “I’m Liam Payne.” The man’s eyes narrowed as he looked over Liam, but the gaze felt more considering than hostile.

“Is this Zayn kid a new student?” Liam’s friend Louis piped up from next to him. “I’ve never heard of the bloke.”

The man glanced down at the tablet in his hands, blinked a couple of times before frowning. “My apologies, I must have misread the name. Mr. Payne, since we’ve already established you are here, we shall move on in the seating chart. Lewis Tomlinson.”

Liam was still staring at the teacher, trying to convince himself he’d heard incorrectly. That he hadn’t actually called out Zayn’s name. How would he even know the name? He’d acted like he’d read it, but all of Zayn’s records had disappeared from existence when he had.

“It’s Lou-E!” his friend snapped, earning a glare from the front of the room. “Who exactly are you? Where’s the hag? She at least got my name right.”

Liam groaned at how accurate Louis’ nickname for the witch was. All the students hated the teacher, but as far as he knew, he was the only one who had a reason. He stared curiously at the man, taking in the scruff along his chin. He was fairly intimidating, but when he suddenly smiled, Liam got more the impression of a teddy bear than a monster.

“My name is Mr. O’Brien. I’ll be taking over your maths course for the rest of the semester as your former instructor,” he glanced down at the tablet, chuckling, “who’s name I cannot decipher, has taken a sudden, yet timely, retirement.” The class cheered, making the teacher laugh again. “Now, settle down so we can at least get through attendance today.”

Class went quickly, but Liam couldn’t stop staring at the teacher. He was already trying to figure out ways to stay after class without raising Louis’ suspicions, because he knew his friend would ask questions that he just couldn’t answer. He was saved from coming up with something when the bell rang and Mr. O’Brien called out, “Mr. Payne, can you stay behind a moment, please?”

Liam nodded, ignoring Louis’ questioning gaze. Once the rest of the students were gone, the teacher closed the door. “How did you know the name Zayn Malik?” Liam asked before the man had even turned back to him. Mr. O’Brien’s eyes were sad when he looked over at Liam. “What colour was the blanket in your crib?”

“Dark green with yellow stripes,” Liam answered without pause.

“How many cracks were in the first stair of your first house?”

“Seven,” Liam responded. “One ran up into the second and third stair.”

Mr. O’Brien nodded. “First, you can call me Paddy,” he said, smiling and removing his coat, hanging it over the chair behind the instructor’s desk, immediately looking more relaxed. “I’m assuming with your memory that you are aware of the true identity of your former instructor.”

Liam made a face. “You mean the evil witch that destroyed my life?”

“To put it simply,” Paddy responded, taking a seat atop the desk Louis had vacated. Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked down at Liam. “We’ve been tracking her for many lifetimes. We finally caught up to her recently because of a weakness in the spell she cast upon you and Mr. Malik.”

“Please. Liam and Zayn. It’s so amazing to hear someone else say his name,” Liam pleaded. “To have someone acknowledge his existence again. To know he exists somewhere besides in my head.”

Paddy’s smile was sympathetic. “We would have probably caught her sooner, but witches as old as she are very powerful and there is not much that can be done to counteract a spell cast in anger by them.”

“Wait, you said many lifetimes. You mean she wasn’t 28?” Liam shuddered when Paddy laughed.

“Add a one and a zero in front of that and you’ll be close, but that’s beside the point. The point is, normally, nothing can disrupt a spell by such a powerful witch. That is why we weren’t able to find her for so long, but last night something changed.”

“Forgive me for saying so, but other than your sudden appearance, somehow, it feels like nothing has changed,” Liam argued. All he knew was he’d still woken up this morning to a world where Zayn seemed to have never existed, except in his own head. He spent so much time wondering if he was crazy, but now this man was trying to tell him he wasn’t.

“I understand, but last night there was a rip in the screen between this plane and the one where Zayn and his family have-”

“Wait! You mean he’s alive?” Liam’s voice was awed. On the days he was convinced he wasn’t crazy, he truly believed the witch had killed Zayn; it was the only thing that made sense. She had been so angry when Liam had rejected her for Zayn, that murder was the only option, but he guessed that torture would be more satisfying.

“Yes. He is alive, but now we need to find him, and quickly, or that might change. Once a witch is captured, the spells they cast start to dissipate. Sometimes, they just reset and no one knows a spell has been cast, but a spell cast in anger, such as this one, self-destructs.” Paddy looked thoughtful as he reached towards Liam, his hand flipping in mid-air. Liam watched amazed as an image appeared in the air above his palm. 

“That’s Zayn’s house!” Liam exclaimed, reaching out and laughing his first true laugh in three years when his fingers went through the image. The house still stood as it always had, but the morning after Zayn disappeared, there was another family living there. 

“It is Zayn’s house on this altered plane,” Paddy explained as the strangers that had been living there appeared on the porch. With a snap of his fingers, the image changed to Liam and Zayn walking side by side up the front walk, shoulders bumping. “This is how things on this plane should and, hopefully, will be.”

“You mean, that if the spell is broken, if we find Zayn and bring him home, things will be different than they are now?” Liam was starting to get confused.

“Things will be the way they were always meant to be on this plane. Your memory will go back to being imperfect.” He chuckled when Liam let out a breath of relief. Remembering everything was sometimes stressful. “Everyone will remember Zayn and behave as if he’s always been here. You two will gain the memories of the moments that have been missed, it will be as if you’ve lived them.”

“Will we remember this?”

Paddy pressed his lips together. “Normally, I would say no. I would say that everything would go back as if nothing had ever happened, but the two of you - there’s something special there.”

“What do you mean?” Liam was really growing even more confused.

“Well, contrary to movies and novels, true love is very rare, almost non-existent, in fact. However, when it does occur, it is also the most powerful magic there is.” Paddy smiled then. “You and Zayn - that’s true love. It’s the only reason that even banishing Zayn didn’t open you up to magically-induced affection for your instructor. We also believe it’s the only reason Zayn was able to reach the edge of the plane last night, disrupting the spell.”

“So, our love saved me from a life with that witch even though he’d been banished?” Liam tripped over the word, still trying to come to terms with the amazing news that Zayn was still alive. “Do you know what he’s been doing for the last three years? Has he been looking for me?” Liam wondered every day if Zayn thought about him.

Paddy’s face was solemn as he responded. “He remembers nothing. I’m sorry.” Paddy moved to place an arm around Liam’s shoulders, and Liam sank gratefully against his side. “Now, let’s go try and find your boy.”

***

Zayn blinked against the bright sun, throwing an arm over his eyes to keep away even the red that was exploding behind the closed lids. He was trying to figure out where he was; if he’d been in his room, the curtains would have protected his eyes from the bright light. Suddenly, images from the night before came back to him. He quickly sat up, cursing the pain in his head. He glanced around, eyes falling on a frog staring at him from the roots of the tree he remembered pulsing beneath his hand.

“Hello?”

“Hiiii,” the frog responded, startling Zayn.

“Am I dreaming?” he asked the frog, feeling stupid as he did so.

“No.”

“Am I dead?” The frog made a noise that sounded like a deep laugh, and when Zayn blinked, he was replaced by a long-limbed boy with long hair dressed completely in green. “I’m dead.”

“Not even a little bit,” the boy responded. “You’re just...lost.”

“But you found me?” Zayn pushed himself to stand, thanking the boy when he steadied him.

“You found yourself, Zayn, or at least, part of yourself,” he answered, explaining nothing.

“I’m at a bit of a disadvantage. You know my name and I don’t know who you are, Froggie.” Zayn began to move towards the road again, remembering the sight of the man he had seen and the name that had exploded out of him.

“Liam?”

“Not even close,” he answered, grabbing Zayn and pulling him away. “Be careful. You don’t want to get too close and knock yourself out again.” Zayn’s eyes widened as he took a step back. “So, you remember Liam’s name, but not what he looks like.”

Zayn opened his mouth to answer but stopped as something popped into his head. “He has brown eyes. Like a puppy.” Zayn’s voice was quiet as the boy nodded for him to continue. “There’s a birthmark on his neck. It’s very ticklish.”

Zayn laughed quietly, running a hand over his lips, a ghost of a memory, an actual memory, teasing him. 

“How do memories feel, Zayn?” The boy looked proud, although Zayn wasn’t sure if it was of him or himself.

“Why don’t I remember you?” he asked. “Where is Liam?”

“You don’t remember me because this is the first time you’ve seen me. Liam is where he belongs.” The boy stepped forward from where he’d been leaning against the tree, holding a hand out. “My name is Harry.”

Zayn stared at the hand, not taking it, suddenly feeling suspicious, something he hadn’t felt in as long as he could remember, which was still not all that long.

“If Liam was where he belongs, he would be here next to me.”

Harry shook his head. “Liam is where he belongs. You are the one who is displaced, but help should be coming soon.”

“Help?” Zayn asked. “You can’t expect me to just sit here and wait. I need to find him.” Zayn couldn’t even explain the sudden desperate need he had to find Liam. He still didn’t even have a complete image of who this Liam was, but the longer he sat, the more solid the images became.

Harry reached into a bag that was lying next to where he had been standing. He pulled out a leather-bound journal and a pencil, handing them both to Zayn. “He has to find you, but you can help.”

Zayn took the items, staring at them. “How are these going to help?”

“Draw. Draw everything you are remembering. Draw Liam,” Harry explained, settling back onto the tree roots. 

Zayn glanced down at the items and then back up to find Harry gone, replaced again by the frog that had been staring at him when he’d woken up. Settling next to the frog, only slightly surprised when it hopped onto his knee, he opened the journal and began to draw, starting with the eyes that were already familiar, even before this crazy morning.

***

Liam told his parents that he was going camping with Louis. He told Louis that he was going away to visit his grandparents for the weekend, thankful when Louis told him that his family was also going to be gone for a few days. He felt he had everything covered as he climbed into the front seat of Paddy’s vehicle, and they started driving. “Do you even know where we’re going?” Liam asked.

“No,” Paddy said. He glanced over at Liam, smiling sadly at Liam’s defeated gaze. “We’re going to start at Zayn’s family home.”

They pulled up out front, Liam glancing up at the house that was both familiar and strange at the same time. The decorations were ones that Zayn’s family would never have put out, his mum a bit classier than the strangers who had descended upon the home when the world changed. 

He glanced towards the porch, a sudden flash of yellow catching his eye. A golden dog sat on the steps, head tilted, seeming to stare directly at Liam. When he blinked, the dog changed into a boy with blond hair and bright smile, another blink and the dog was back again, trotting down the walk towards the vehicle. The dog came to a stop just outside Liam’s door, cocking his head, tail brushing against the sidewalk.

Liam stepped out of the vehicle and dropped down to a crouch in front of the animal, a hand reaching up to scratch at the animal’s ears. He heard Paddy climb out of the car, looking up when the man came to stand next to him. “We don’t have time to play with animals, Liam.”

The dog let out a quiet growl towards Paddy before giving a lick to Liam’s cheek. “You know where Zayn is, don’t you?” he asked, feeling slightly crazy for talking to the animal, but when he looked into its strange blue eyes, he felt a pull.

The dog barked once before standing and beginning to walk down the sidewalk. It got three houses away before it stopped, turning to bark at them.

Liam and Paddy exchanged a look before beginning to follow the dog.

They walked in silence for a bit, Liam hoping they weren’t wasting their time. He glanced over at Paddy who was doing the thing with his hand again. Another image appeared, this time, it was a wooded area, Zayn leaned against a tree with a book open in his lap, sketching. Liam remembered watching him for hours during footie practices doing just that. Louis would always give him so much hassle for being distracted, but who could blame him. After a moment, the Zayn in the image looked up, it was almost as if he was looking directly at Liam.

Liam gasped out Zayn’s name just as the image’s mouth moved silently. 

“We must be getting close,” Paddy said. “Even I’m beginning to feel it.”

At first, Liam didn’t understand, but then he could feel the tug in his chest. The feeling of being led by something other than the-

“Oi! Ye two are the slowest wankers I’ve ever met!” a voice interrupted his thoughts and Liam glanced ahead to see the blond boy from the porch again, the dog now nowhere in sight. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m the dog, now can we please go. All these loved-up feelings are making me hungry.”

Liam couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out, relieved when the other two joined in. Suddenly, a sharp pain went through Liam’s chest. “Zayn!” he shouted again.

***

Zayn’s head whipped up when he felt a pain in his chest, followed by his name called more loudly than it had ever been in his dreams. “Liam!” he shouted before he could stop himself. He jumped to his feet, apologizing quickly to Harry who had tumbled off into the dirt with an indignant ribbit.

Zayn’s head whipped around when he heard his name called again.

“Someone's calling my name!” he snapped at Harry who had become human again and was trying to stop him from moving closer to the road. “It sounds like Liam!” He laughed loudly. “I remember his voice, Harry!”

Harry smiled then, but still kept a strong grip on Zayn’s arm. He tried to break free, but Harry was much stronger than he looked. After a few moments struggle, Zayn heard his name called again, this time much closer and filled with joy. Glancing towards the road, he saw him. He saw his Liam staring at him with a shocked expression on his face, one that Zayn was entirely sure was mirrored on his own.

“Liam!” he shouted, pulling himself out of Harry’s grasp and breaking into a run.

Liam saw Zayn break free of the guy that was holding him and begin to run towards him. Liam glanced at Niall, as he’d learned was the dog boy’s name, and Paddy before running towards Zayn. He saw the woods around Zayn, looking completely out of place in the middle of downtown London, but the closer he got, the more the woods faded into the city. 

It seemed like hours, but was only moments, before the two collided into each other. A clap of thunder sounded as their bodies met, Liam knocking Zayn onto the ground. They held onto each other, tears streaming down their faces as their lips met. 

Finally, the world felt right. 

*** Epilogue:

The world settled into the way it was supposed to have been if the evil witch had never come into their lives. The first few days were disorientating for Zayn and Liam who could remember everything from both worlds, although they certainly preferred the memories of the way their romance had developed in the three years they were separated. 

Paddy continued on as their maths instructor, as well as their magics instructor, because apparently, both boys had a bit of magic inside of them, helped by their love for each other. They also gained two new classmates and friends, Niall and Harry, who Louis had taken an immediate liking to. The five of them spent as much time together as possible.

The night of graduation, Zayn and Liam left the party at Louis’ house and began to walk around London. They found themselves at the spot where they’d found each other again. They shared smiles as they both remembered the night, the way the world fell back into place, the way everything felt right.

As they stood there, Zayn reached into his pocket and pulled out a sketchbook, handing it to Liam. “I don’t know how I was able to keep this from the other plane, but I want you to have it,” he said. Liam flipped through the pages, smiling at all of the drawings, gasping when he came upon the numerous pages of his eyes. “I never forgot those. Even with that spell, I couldn’t forget them.”

“Paddy said it was our love that weakened the spell. That we have true love, which is rare,” Liam explained, kissing the tip of Zayn’s nose as he closed the book, sliding it underneath his left arm while he wrapped his right around Zayn.

“He told me the same thing. Said a love like ours only comes along once in a lifetime.” Zayn smiled as he held out his hand again, a shiny silver braided ring in the palm as he quirked an eyebrow at Liam who smiled and nodded before leaning in to kiss Zayn.

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Hello friends!

Finally have a few fics in, and let me tell you: you’re not going to be disappointed! I am going to start posting on the weekend so that people have stuff to read. 

Thank you to all of you who have participated or boosted Lyric Wheel. It’s a ton of fun to do, and it gives writers a chance to be showcased and appreciated. That was always the intention: making sure that writers feel the love. And I hope that once the fics are out, everyone goes and likes, shares and fonds over all the hard work that these writers put in!

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart.

xo @1dlyricwheel

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

Update

The intention was to start posting fics right away, so that people would have things to read starting today - but unfortunately I don’t have enough fics to start posting! As of right now, I am going to hold off for a few more days, and hopefully will get more fics back, so that I can start sharing them with all of you. The ones I’ve looked over so far are amazing and I can’t wait to start posting them.

However, at the end of this round, I think Lyric Wheel will be taking a short hiatus. Nothing is set in stone, but it might be a good time for a break, and come back when the time is right.

Thank you to everyone who has written, liked, or shared a LW fic. It’s been fun so far and we’ve been able to showcase some amazing talent, while also learning about some new writers as well. You’re all so talented, and I hope you keep writing!

xo @1dlyricwheel

[1dlyricwheel-blog]

REMINDER:

When sending in your fic to me, please write down your tumblr name, the song you have, the pairing and the rating.

fics should be emailed to liamsfreckles[at]gmail[dot]com

thanks! 

xx @1dlyricwheel