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feelingsinthedark · 6 years ago

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Jem & Lunar New Year

it’s a little late but it’s still technically like the period of celebration for Chinese New Year so it’s fine whatever lol

PART TWO COMING SOON with qoaad spoilers :3 wanted to post these here first so i can screenshot it and post on instagram more easily lol

they’re kinda long and i figured out how to put a cut thing at least on a computer skdfsfdfkksk idk if they’re good but here ya go

and oh yeah disclaimer the timeline is messy but i tried ok here ya go i’ll shut up now lmao

The first twelve years of his life are perfect Chinese New Year celebrations

He helps his parents decorate the Institute with 福 signs everywhere and window hangings and all the things

He wakes up early with his parents the day of and makes dumplings with them that they feed the visiting relatives and random Shadowhunters

People come and go all day long to and from the Shanghai Institute

Older Shadowhunters give him 红包 (red envelopes) every year as well as his parents

1873 is the last of these

Chinese New Year in 1874 he spends in a state of delirium caused by yin fen

His father died not long before but he can still hear his mother crying out for him

新年快乐，儿子 he thinks he hears her say softly, exhaustedly, that day

A ridiculously ironic statement considering the situation they’re in

But it could be a hallucination brought on by the drug

He whispers 过年好 to his mother, though he doesn’t realize it in a surge of pain and delirium

His mother sobs at what were the first words she heard from her son in what seemed like years

Yanluo sneers at their interaction and deliberately gives Jem a larger dose of yin fen to torture him and his mother more

To take away from this day of fortune and happiness and prosperity

Not long after Chinese New Year of 1874, Jem’s mother is dead, and Yanluo has disappeared

Chinese New Year of 1875 is spent at the London Institute

Jem arrived a little more than half a year before

He remembers when he wakes up that morning, but he decides to keep it to himself

Especially considering how his last Chinese New Year went

And he doesn’t want to make Charlotte or anyone else feel like they need to do something for him

He’s sent out on a patrol with Will

He is quieter than usual and sort of draws into himself remembering past years

Will notices but doesn’t pry until Jem is giving him an iratze and it’s just kind of an awkward silence which never happens between them

So he quietly asks “Are you okay?”

Showing that gentle side of him that only Jem ever sees

Jem is silent for a little longer while he draws another iratze

Then he says “It’s the Lunar New Year today,” while drawing Will’s sleeve down over the rune

“Shouldn’t that be a happy thing?” Will asks

“It is,” Jem says as they head back to the Institute

And after another silence he says “my last one wasn’t”

Will puts the pieces together

Jem tries to add “it’s fine, I’ll be okay, I am okay”

Will ignores this and when they get back to the Institute he insists Jem train with him

He says he needs to brush up on his knife throwing

Even though he just dispatched a demon with a deathly accurate dagger to the head

The whole time he talks about nothing and helps to take Jem’s mind away from that

Later Jem has a bout of sickness and coughs blood

He makes a joke about the color red being the color of fortune

But he thinks he really is fortunate bc he has Will

Chinese New Year of 1876 had a little bit of celebration

He had told the inhabitants of the London Institute that year about some of his traditions when he lived in Shanghai

So that year they all try to make dumplings together

Really just Charlotte and Will, and Sophie and Agatha too

Jem is really the only one who makes them well but he tries to teach them

He takes over the kitchen which Agatha very much objects to

He still remembers how to make the dough, the filling, and how to roll out dumpling skins and wrap them

After a while Will’s given up and he sits there making sarcastic remarks

They start to make that a tradition in the London Institute every year

Just making dumplings which Jem insists is enough

Charlotte wants to do more to make Jem feel at home but they never get around to it

1877 and 1878 are like this

Chinese New Year of 1879 Jem spends in the Silent City

There is no celebrating, no dumplings, none of the music or decorating or family of his childhood

His emotions are still mostly there as he was only made a Silent Brother a few months before

But all he feels is a desperate loneliness knowing that he can’t be with the ones he loves most today

His days only get lonelier and lonelier as the years pass and he barely remembers what Chinese New Year meant to him

He asks Tessa to meet him on Blackfriars on Chinese New Year of 1890

He doesn’t set the date on purpose but afterward he realizes it is Chinese New Year

On the bridge he tells Tessa he wishes he could have gotten to experience a Chinese New Year with her

Tessa says maybe someday they’ll have a chance

They both know it’s impossible though

Every year he feels himself slipping away and Tessa feels him growing further from her and from humanity

And then

Chinese New Year of 2008 is spent with the love of his life

They are staying at Tessa’s flat in London

Jem had just come back a less than a month ago

Tessa wakes up and kisses Jem to wake him up

“新年快乐” she says quietly, smiling, “happy Lunar New Year, my love”

Jem asks her how she knew

After that meeting on the bridge in 1890 she started paying attention to the lunar calendar

“In case... in case there really was ever a day,” she explains

Jem smiles and kisses her

“Well, you were right”

Tessa asks what he wants to do to celebrate

He says just being with her is enough after so long in the darkness

And they have forever to celebrate Chinese New Years properly

They have a quiet, relaxed day in London

And it ends not so quietly

Chinese New Year of 2009 is spent with his fiancée

Tessa surprises Jem again

She had gone out a couple weeks ago and gotten decorations which she hung up that night

She also got ingredients for dumplings and she and Jem mess around with making them

Neither of them know exactly what they’re doing

Tessa’s never made dumplings from scratch and Jem hasn’t in over a century and certainly hasn’t had to even think about making dumplings

But they don’t look it up they just have fun with it and make things up as they go

They end up making a mess in the kitchen and all over themselves

The dumplings are okay and they eat them and make fun of each other accusing each other of making them taste bad

“You’re the one who made the filling, did you not add any soy sauce?”

“Well you made the skins so thick we had to boil them for so long that all the flavor leeched out. Just dip them in some sauce”

“That is an inconvenience for me, sir”

And they laugh a lot

The next day they watch the 春节晚会 together

Jem explains some of what’s going on to Tessa but she’s kept up learning some Chinese over the years so she knows a bit and can sort of keep up

Chinese New Year of 2010 is spent with his wife

They spend it by themselves in LA

*(Idk why they’re in LA sorry y’all make up a reason yourself lol Tessa has homes everywhere right so it makes sense right)

Jem sends 红包 for Emma and the Blackthorn kids to the LA Institute via a very grumpy Church

He and Tessa spend the weekend before Chinese New Year decorating and cleaning her house

(I’m like doubting if that’s an actual thing that Tessa has houses everywhere I feel like I just made that up but oh well they had to stay somewhere in LA in Lady Midnight right)

Jem had told Tessa about more traditions since coming back

She cuts his hair every year on Chinese New Year

And they go shopping for new clothes

Jem can’t remember everything he used to do as a child but they do everything he remembers

2011 and 2012 are pretty similar

2011 at Jem’s house in Devon and 2012 in LA

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