#18 is not doing great but she is not doin remotely as bad as it seems. like yeah she gotta

[cosmik-homo]

I do hope its clear that when I say missy2 is enamoured by the idea of bein Better at this Mental Health stuff than the doctor and like actually being surprisingly interested in Taking Care of her and stuff. It is also like. Its still a pain and control thing. Like he v much if he found her havin a nightmare would stand there mesmerized for a Good While befor doin anything. He has not been going under the moniker 'The bdsmerrrr' for 2000 years for nothing.

[svucarisiaddict]

Hi, I love everything you write! You could write one with Sonny, where he discovers that his partner does volunteer work in his spare time? 💖

“Greg. Good seeing you. Haven’t been around in a couple of weeks,” you said to the vet as he sat on the exam table.

“Yeah. Had some things come up,” he responded. “Just need this sore on my foot looked at.”

Pulling on gloves you examined the foot. “What happened?” your eyes shot to his. The wound was badly infected. Taking the wound cleanser and gauze you gently cleaned his foot.

“I musta stepped on somethin’ and didn’t realize it.” He sighed. “I only found it yesterday when I had blood in my sock.”

“We’ll get you fixed up,” you said and gave him a kind smile. After washing your hands you exited the exam room. “Hey, Dr. Henry. Greg is back. Has a pretty bad wound on the bottom of his foot. I think his neuropathy is getting worse”

“Thanks. He’s next on my list to see.” He looked up at you from where he was charting. “I was getting worried about him.”

You smiled at the others in the waiting room. Most of the faces you recognized, a couple were new and there were a few that you hadn’t seen in a few weeks which worried you and some of the other volunteers.

It had been three years since you helped get the clinic up and running. In that time you had established a rapport with most of the people that came through. There were still so many that needed help and could benefit from the clinic.

“What are you doin’ this weekend? I actually have the weekend off. Thought we could do somethin’ fun,” Sonny said over the phone. He must still be at work, you could hear loud chatter, phones ringing and people yelling.

“I have to work this weekend,” you answered.

“Oh. Well maybe we can meet up for a late dinner Saturday,” Sonny said hopefully.

“I’ll text you. So how has your day been?” you asked hoping to change the subject.

“Been crazy. I have a ton of paperwork to get through, we are stuck on a case. Thought we had a lead but…”

That weekend you and a couple of the other volunteers decided to look for some of the patients you hadn’t seen in a while. One, in particular, you were worried about. Sabrina was 18, homeless, an addict and had received little prenatal care. At this point, she would be about seven months along.

“Y/N!” Damon, one of the other nurses that volunteered called your name.

You rushed over to where he was leaning over a slumped over a body. “Shit. Sabrina.”

“She has a pulse and breathing. I’m calling 9-1-1,” Doman said as he helped lay her down. You kept her airway open while he talked to the dispatcher. “She needs Narcan,” you stated pulling the medication from the bag and squirting it up her nose.

A few seconds later she came around but was combative and yelling.

“Sabrina. It’s okay. It’s Damon and Y/N,” Damon said trying to calm her.

“You stupid jackass. I had the best high,” she slurred.

She did agree to go to the hospital to your surprise but it was supposed to be a cold night and at least there she knew she would be warm, safe and have a hot meal.

“Take care of yourself, Sabrina. We’ll check on you later,” you said as she was loaded in the squad. He response was to give you and Damon the bird. You chuckled and shook your heads. “You’re welcome,” Damon said.

The rest of the afternoon and into the evening you and Damon handed out care packages with various personal care items, condoms, snacks and info about the clinic. “See ya one day next week,” you said to Damon as the two of you parted ways.

Your phone dinged as you pushed into your apartment in desperate need of a shower and food.

[from: sonny 7:34pm] you still up for dinner? I can bring a pizza.

That’s right. The late dinner. You sighed.

[to: sonny 7:38pm] can i get a raincheck. Long day at work. We’ll have lunch next week.

[from: sonny 7:41pm] sure. Have a good night.

Great, you had probably ticked him off, but it had been an exhausting day. You still wanted to check in on Sabrina. You grabbed a quick shower, a granola bar then headed to the hospital.

On Wednesday Sonny decided to surprise you with lunch at work. “Hi,” he said. “I’m looking for Y/N.”

“And you are?” the woman asked sizing Sonny up.

“I’m Sonny Carisi, ma’am. Her boyfriend,” he explained giving her his signature dimpled smile.

She didn’t seem impressed. “Boyfriend huh? Well, she’s not working today.”

“Are you sure? She said she was on shift,” Sonny said.

She pursed her lips. “I said she isn’t working. I know everyone’s schedule, who comes, who goes and she’s not here. If you were really her boyfriend you’d know her schedule and where sh was.” She turned from the window effectively dismissing him.

“Why would she lie to me about working?” he thought to himself.

“If I ask you something you promise to be honest?” Sonny asked you the following evening as the two of you ate spaghetti at your apartment.

“Of course,” you said with a furrowed brow.

“Did you really work this past weekend? Yesterday?” he inquired.

“Why are you asking me?”

Sonny sipped his water. “Can’t you answer the question?” he said with a bite to his voice.

“I don’t appreciate your tone,” you said.

“I don’t appreciate the person I’m with screwing someone else,” he snapped.

You froze mid-bite and put your fork down. “Excuse me?”

Sonny held your stare with narrowed eyes and thin lips.

“Maybe you should go,” you said. Standing you picked up your plate and took it in the kitchen. A few seconds later Sonny’s chair scraped along the floor, the door opened then slammed behind him causing you to jump.

A little later you tried to call him but he kept sending you to voicemail and when you texted him he left it on read. “That’s cold.” You should have just explained what you were doing Saturday and tell him about the clinic. But it had been him that started the conversation off in a bitter tone. Placing your phone on the end table you picked up the remote to channel surf. Throughout the evening and the night, you checked our phone for a response from Sonny but one was never delivered.

A couple of days later was your volunteer day at the clinic. Just as you were getting ready to close down for the night the bell on the front door jingled. “If you need a doctor, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow or go to the ER,” you said with your back to the door. “If it’s something simple I might be able to help.”

“Got anything for a guy that’s been a bozo?”

You spun on your heel at the sound of his voice. “Sonny. What are you doing here? How did-?”

“I did a little digging. Nothing invasive I promise.” He held his hands up. “Just Google. I found an article about when the clinic opened. How it was started by a few nurses and a couple of docs. And there was your picture. You have done so much good for this neighborhood.”

Crossing your arms over your chest you looked at him then at your feet. “Okay, but why are you here?”

“To ask you to forgive me for what I said the other night. It was wrong. I’m sorry.” Sonny walked closer to the counter you were standing behind.

“And if your little internet search hadn’t been fruitful? Would you still not have believed me?”

“I would have. I did. I just wish you felt you could trust me to tell me about what you do in your free time,” Sonny explained. “But that doesn’t make it okay for the things I said.”

You regarded him for a moment. He did speak some truths. But the accusations still hurt. “Both of us handled this wrong.”

Sonny nodded. “That we did.” He sighed. “You hungry?”

“Sonny the answer to that question will always be yes,” you said with a grin. “Let me grab my stuff and finish locking up then you can buy me a couple hot dogs.”

“You got it, doll.”

[ssteezyy]

Ask the Cat Behaviorist with Mikel Delgado: Why Does My Cat Chew on His Bowl, Why Does My Cat Slap the Other Cats, and More

I’m sad to announce that this will be Mikel’s last column. Mikel’s consulting practice and her work as researcher at the Veterinary School at UC Davis are taking up more and more of her time, which, even though it’s a loss for us, is not only a good thing for Mikel, but also for all the cats who will be helped as a result of her work. But don’t worry, the “Ask the Cat Behaviorist” column will continue, and will be taken over by Dr. Marci Koski of Feline Behavior Solutions starting in November.  Look for an introduction of Marci later and information on where to leave your questions for Marci later this month.

Mikel is a Certified Cat Behavior Consultant at Feline Minds, offering on-site consultations for cat guardians, shelters, and pet-related businesses in the San Francisco Bay Area, and remote consultations around the world. She obtained her PhD in Psychology at UC Berkeley, where she studied animal behavior and human-pet relationships. Mikel is co-author of Jackson Galaxy’s newest book, Total Cat Mojo: The Ultimate Guide to Life with Your Cat.

A message from Mikel to our readers

To the wonderful readers of the Conscious Cat:

I’ve had the pleasure of answering your behavior questions here for the past 18 months or so, and it’s been great to be a part of the Conscious Cat community! As my consulting practice and my work as a researcher at the Veterinary School at UC Davis have been keeping me extra busy, I’ve had to cut back on other things, and this will be my last column here, at least for now. However, if you have behavior questions, do NOT despair! You will be left in the very capable hands of Dr. Marci Koski, a colleague and fellow certified cat behavior consultant. She’s wonderful and I look forward to reading her column! Thank you for your questions and comments, and keep the faith in your kitties!

Best, Mikel

Cat chews side of his food bowl

Hi I have a 1 year old sphynx cat. For some reason he keeps biting the side of his food bowl when he’s trying to eat. Constantly chewing on the side of his bowl. I’ve read that cats usually eat from the center of their bowls because their whiskers will hit the sides of the bowl and cause discomfort. However, he does not have whiskers(stubs) because of his breed. Any suggestions on why he’s doing this? Thank you for your time – Tonia

Hi Tonia!

Well I could come up with a few hypotheses about the WHY – some teenage cats experience “juvenile gingivitis” which can lead them to seek relief by chewing on non-food items, so it might be worth having your vet check his gums. Other cats chew on things because they are bored. But since your kitty ONLY does this during his meals, it suggests that he either can’t distinguish the bowl from the food or that something about the bowl is getting in his way. Although he doesn’t have long whiskers, there could be something visually that is bothering him?

More important than the WHY to me, is – can we stop this behavior by changing his food dish? I’d start with trying something more shallow or even a different material – if his bowl is plastic, try ceramic or stainless steel, etc. And hey, why not skip the bowl altogether and feed him from food puzzles instead? That’s my favorite type of food dish – none at all!

Older cat slaps younger cat

I sent a question months ago about my two cats getting along (quick context: me and my boyfriend moved in together and his 2 year old female cat and my 1 year old female cat couldn’t get along AT ALL; we keep them in separate spaces of the apartment for MONTHS until recently, when they started to “coexist”).

My situation now is as follows: even then they coexist, and the older cat isn’t aggressive with the younger cat anymore, sometimes they’re both chilling in peace (sleeping in our bed, for example), and the older cat out of the blue comes for the younger cat and slap her in the face/body, but just one time. She does this quickly and then leaves, after just one slap, so I assume she’s not looking for a fight. Still, the younger cat freaks out and gets very scared.

Do you have recommendations of how we can manage her slapping behavior? They can coexist now without wanting to kill each other, which is a MAJOR improvement, but it is exhausting being aware of what the cats are doing all the time because we don’t want that the slap turns into a fight, obviously. Also the older cat is much bigger than the younger, and we don’t want any accidents.

We’ve tried to speak in a severe tone when the older cat is approaching the younger, when we can tell that she’s up to no good, and that sometimes works and the older cat gives up her desires of slapping the other cat, but still, we want a more long term solution to our problem. – Fran

Fran, I’m pleased to hear that your cats can co-exist in the same space, and I understand that the slapping behavior can be frustrating. One thing I always recommend is taking a cold, hard look at the resources you have available for your cats (such as multiple litter boxes, scratching posts, and feeding stations) and make sure you have enough options for them to be in the same room without having to share (such as when they are both on your bed – that might be too close for comfort).

Increasing vertical space via cat furniture and shelves can really go a long way toward allowing cats to be in the same space, yet be far enough apart that it’s just not worth it to get up and smack the other one in the face. High spaces, windows, and warmth tend to be primo territory, so make sure you have plenty of options in the rooms they want to spent time in (usually the same rooms we are in). Heated beds are a great way to “coax” cats to hang out in particular locations. For example, a heated bed on an elevated shelf in your bedroom might encourage one cat to sleep there when the other is on the bed.

When you can see the older cat is “up to no good,” rather than get punitive, can you distract her? Try making a noise that might break her focus on the younger cat, such as dropping a book or rattling a soda can with some pennies inside. You could also try tossing a small toy, such as a mouse or crinkle ball away from the younger cat, to draw the older cat’s attention away.

Territorial urine and stool marking

We have two indoor Siberian/Maine Coon mix female cats that we adopted as kittens, Vanya and Valentine, that are now 10 years old; we also have a semi-feral, Jack, who resides on our deck. No behavior problems until about 3 years ago when Vanya developed a urinary tract infection; she was treated for that and a while after became very territorial: she would leave “poopers” by the doors going outside, which I could deal with but then began urinating outside of the cat boxes (we do have 3 boxes); vet checked her again for urinary infections, negative on that, said her problems were behavioral, so we did the feliway plug ins to calm her, gave her vet prescribed Solliquin. She hisses at our other cat, also when people other than my husband and I try to pet her. I tried isolating Vanya to a room overnight with the urinating behavior providing a litter box, water, favorite toys and bed as she seemed to be doing the urinating outside the box at night. This worked for a while, then started up again when I let her roam at night, and she even urinated in the room while having freedom to be anywhere in the house at night. I have had carpets ruined from her urinating behavior and am at my wits end as to how to deal with this. I love her dearly, she will be very good for a while, sometimes even several months, then bad behavior again. We do live where there is wildlife outdoors and have wondered if the behavior is triggered by animals that may be around at night, so close blinds where I have them to prevent her seeing out but of course, am sure that she may hear and sense when they may be close to the house. Help!!!! Also should say that Vanya is very attached to me, follows me around house whenever I am here. – Suzanne Doin

Suzanne, I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had challenges with Vanya’s behavior. It does sounds like she has been cleared for medical issues, but it also sounds like there are a few stressors in her environment: it sounds like she and Valentine are not best of friends, and that sometimes she is forced to interact with strangers when she would rather not. Animals outdoors can definitely be an additional source of stress.

So you’ve tried Solliquin and Feliway, so now what?

Well, I first like to try to address stressors by improving the environment. I think you would benefit from a session with a qualified consultant who can help you improve Vanya and Valentine’s relationship, but remember the most important thing for cats: choices over resources. You have three litter boxes, which is great. Make sure they are in separate areas of the house. The same goes for scratching posts, food dishes, and cat beds: multiple options, spread out in the house!

It’s possible that the litter box itself is a source of stress, so you’ll want to ensure you are using an acceptable litter, and that the boxes are large, open, in safe locations (not too far out of the way) and are scooped daily.

You can help Vanya be less stressed by providing more routine, exercise and enrichment for her – such as vertical space, food puzzles, bird feeders to watch, and the like. And don’t forget the interactive play!! Getting her chasing a cat dancer toy will help build her confidence and help her feel more relaxed.

The research on Feliway is mixed, and there are no properly controlled studies of Solliquin (where some animals receive a placebo, unbeknownst to the owner) to determine its efficacy in addressing stress-related urination issues. It is possible that you may need something “stronger” to fix this problem, so it’s worth a discussion with your veterinarian or a veterinary behaviorist, about whether anti-anxiety medication would be appropriate!

New cat is not leaving safe room

Hi, I recently adopted a girl rescue cat aged 7, she is so soft and gentle and loving. I already have 3 rescue cats 2 boys aged 6 and 4 and a petite girl aged 5 and a half To begin with I kept the new kitty separate and did slow introductions which went very well, yes there was the odd hiss from mainly my boy cats but I was very happy with their progress. The new kitty is not the fighting type and will stand up for herself if needed but just backs away. My 3 previous cats come into the living room supervised where new kitty stays, but I am a bit concerned that the new cat hides and doesn’t explore other parts of the home, I think she isn’t confident enough from the other 3 Yes she seems happy in the living room but this is not suitable long term, I realize it is only early days but how can I help so that we don’t go backwards in our progress? I realize that there will be bumps and they won’t always see eye to eye but would welcome any advice. Thank you, Dianne

Hi Dianne,

If I understand you correctly, the main concern is that the new cat is not spending much time out of her safe room. Have you tried gradually giving her access to other areas of the house where the other cats are confined, so she can explore freely? Even if the cats seem to get along okay, for some cats, being in “enemy turf” with the enemy present is a double threat! Most cats need time to adjust to new spaces, but it helps if they can do so at their own pace, without an audience. So I would start by confining your other cats in a different room, and then allow the new kitty to come out of the living room on her own. Don’t force the issue by picking her up and plunking her down in another room – that will just reinforce her fear of this new space. Think of it like getting dropped off in the downtown of an unfamiliar city without a map! And there are irritated locals pushing you out of their way while you try to get your bearings! Wouldn’t it be easier to explore your neighborhood first, slowly, perhaps checking out that coffee shop or book store then going back to the safety of your home? Just like that, you want your new kitty to always have the option to return to her safe room when she gets overwhelmed. You can use treats or toys to lure her out of the room, but let her call the shots when it comes to her exploration schedule! Over time, she will get more comfortable with the other cats AND other areas of the home, learning where the safe spots are. But you can help her by letting her explore privately.

The post Ask the Cat Behaviorist with Mikel Delgado: Why Does My Cat Chew on His Bowl, Why Does My Cat Slap the Other Cats, and More appeared first on The Conscious Cat.